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{{quote|"ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT. So hot. ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella1 Because shes a dirte bithc so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think!! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo"|The beginning of [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/Brewdening-Love-137395427 Brewdening Love]. [[It Got Worse|And it's all downhill from there.]]}}▼
 
[[File:True_Love_by_ErinOfTheCullenClan_1468.jpg|frame|[[Sarcasm Mode|True love, indeed.]]]]
 
▲{{quote|"ok hello everyone I want to let you knwo that I'm the BIGGEST Twilight ever! I've read all the boks and seen da movie -OMFG isn't Cullin HAWT. So hot. ok now iv writon a storie about wut wold happen id I were bella1 Because shes a dirte bithc so i want you to see it and tel moi what you think!! So LOTS OF REVOWS PLZ! lov you God xoxoxoxo"|The beginning of [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/Brewdening-Love-137395427 ''Brewdening Love'']. [[It Got Worse|And it's all downhill from there.]]}}
 
''Brewdening Love'' is an infamous ''[[Twilight (Literaturenovel)|Twilight]]'' fanfiction written by Erin Locklea, aka Erin of the Cullen Clan, and is another in the line of ''[[My Immortal]]''-esque fanfics. It stars the [[Mary Sue]] (specifically, she's a [[Black Hole Sue|black hole]] [[Relationship Sue]]) [[Overly Long Name|Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith]] and is so filled with [[Rouge Angles of Satin|spelling errors]] that it might as well be in cuneiform.
 
The story begins with Joan walking into her English class and suddenly noticing [[Gary Stu|a boy]] named [[Twilight (Literaturenovel)|Edward]] (Edwerd, Edwad, Ward, etc.) whom she thinks looks like a god ([[Exact Words|not god God because I luv god and thats blamsphemi, so fuc off sinars]]). After giving a [[Costume Porn|long description of herself]], she tries to flirt with him but he ignores her. Because he's incredibly sex-ah, she forgives him and decides that, because he is so hot, she wants to be his boyfriend. Yes, [[Ho Yay|boyfriend]].
 
Edward continues to ignore her and she continues to [[Stalker Withwith a Crush|stalk]] [[Stalking Is Love|him]], going so far as to chase him into the school car lot with him screaming at her to go away. While she contemplates the, gasp, horrid thought that maybe he doesn't like her, [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|a bus appears out of nowhere and almost hits her]]. To the readers' dismay and [[All Thethe Tropes Wiki Drinking Game|chagrin]], it does not flatten her; instead, a mysterious somebody who she thinks was Edward beacause "there wore amba eyes glisening in the doost!" saves her in the nick of time. She confronts him later and they [[Shallow Love Interest|magically fall in love]].
 
But trouble is on the horizon as it is revealed that Edward is a [[Rouge Angles of Satin|VAMPTRE]]! As a devout [[Rouge Angles of Satin|Chrisnt]], Joan is worried. And that bit of potential conflict is shoved in the closet when Edward says that he is a "christina vampite" and therefore okay for her to date. Yeah.
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The gripping epic follows their twu wuv as Erin encounters the rest of the Cullens, the problem vamtpie Jhams, [[Critical Research Failure|and searches the entire country of]] [[Canada, Eh?|Canada]] [[You Fail Geography Forever|in twenty minutes]]. ''Damn'', that Volvo is fast.
 
Ousted off of fanfiction[[Fanfiction.net]] for its spelling, grammar, blatant homophobia and anti-Semitism, andas well as a whole bunch of other atrocities, the fanfic can now be found [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/ here].
 
Now has an [[Expanded Universe]] -- see [[Brewdening Love Expanded Universe|here]].
 
----
=== ''Brewdening Love'' contains examples of: ===
{{tropelist}}
 
* [[Aborted Arc]]: Some of the chapters start off at completely different places than where the last ones began. This has become more common recently.
{{quote| '''Erin:''' Blame the ducks hahah!1}}
* [[Abusive Parents|Abusive Parent]]: Mr. Smith is an alcoholic.
* [[Ascended Extra]]: Becca, seemingly a background character based on the author's friend, has been given a bigger role in the story.
* [[As the Good Book Says...]]: Erin tries to preach every biblical message she can think of and even called the first chapter "Genesis". Unfortunately, this leads to misinterpretation and even to her making up quotes that she uses to bash flamers.
* [[Author Tract]]: A lot of it. If there's something out there that goes against the Bible, Erin ''will'' go out of her way to say it's wrong.
* [[Back Fromfrom the Dead]]: Emmett was killed, [[Death Is Cheap|then revived...]] [[Fridge Logic|but if he's a vampire, isn't he already dead?]]
* [[Black Best Friend]]: Becca. [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/My-friend-Becca-141603849 Oddly], Erin actually colored her skin the literal color black, not the skin tone, until [http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/BF4L-171994957 a later drawing].
** Erin claims she's literally black because she's a "maury". It's not clear whether she's attempting to say "moor" or "Maori".
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[Ship Sinking|killing off]] the [[Ho Yay|Brian x Hugo]] fanbase. Also, the revenge chapters, which literally put the critics into the story so they can be killed.
* [[Canada, Eh?]]: The [[Church of Happyology|cultists]] who try to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[Pyromaniac|Brian]] also moved from there. It's worth mentioning that Erin seems to think it's a city, not a country:
{{quote| "Yesterday, " said brian. I moved hear frome Canada. Canada is a batter citey then Forks [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe|thou]]." He told us. }}
* [[Comedic Sociopathy]]: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmett back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
* [[Comic Book Adaptation]]: The [[Rouge Angles of Satin|gafic noval]].
* [[Costume Porn]]: Even in the scenes where Joan is depressed, she feels the need to describe everything she's wearing.
* [[Crossover]]: In the spin-offs, ''[[Pokémon (Franchise)|Pokémon]]'' and ''[[Harry Potter (Literaturenovel)|Harry Potter]]'' characters have shown up.
* [[Cure Your Gays]]: The entire point behind ''Edwards Secert'', along with several quotes from ''Brewdening Love'' itself ("Luv u Jenny, no homo" "Guys can love each other but not in the a--" "...That time my sister lied that she was gay and had to go to camp." "the VOLTIRE COUD HALP ME!!! AND THEY COLD KULL BRIAN SO THAT SINNARS WOOD STOP MAKING MY CHARROTERS GAYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1").
* [[Dating What Daddy Hates]]: Mr. Smith doesn't seem to approve of Joan dating Edward, but so far he hasn't actively done anything to put a stop to it.
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* [[The Fundamentalist]]: Joan. [[Unfortunate Implications|She's supposed to be an "ideal Christian".]]
* [[Green-Eyed Monster]]: Joan, when anyone is around Edward.
* [[Hate Fic]]: The [[Spin-Off]] ''Truelove Fight'' is this to [[Pokémon (Franchise)|Pokémon]].
* [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]: "I luv u, but no homo k?"
* [[Kill It Withwith Fire]]: [[Pyromaniac|Brian's main strategy]].
* [[Love Dodecahedron]]: In case anyone would like to keep track, [http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg this is what it currently looks like.]
* [[Missing Mom]]: Joan's mom never shows up, nor is she ever mentioned. Joan does, however, apparently have a sister who is a lesbian and was sent to [[Cure Your Gays|"camp"]].
* [[MST]]: The TwilightSucks forums have [http://www.tsdcv3.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=twilightfics&action=display&thread=1519&page=1 a whole archive of them]. The author herself wrote two [[Revenge Fic]] chapters against the snarkers after reading them, casting them as evil, devil-worshiping vampires.
* [[Murder the Hypotenuse]]: Joan wants to kill Jenny so she can have Edward all to herself. [[Sarcasm Mode|What a great friend Joan is.]]
* [[Neon Sign Hideout]]: What were the "[[The Mafia|Volturi Mafia]]" [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made Onon Drugs?|smoking]] when they used the seven wonders of the world to decorate their hideout?
* [[No Sex Allowed]]: Even though Joan clearly wants it.
* [[Overly Long Name]]: What kind of self-respecting [[Mary Sue]] would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
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* [[Spin-Off]]: There are five of them.
** ''Twilight World'': A crossover with the Bible, [[Artistic License Religion|except with Twilight characters instead of the real characters]]. Formerly called ''Twilight Bible''.
** ''Bellas Baby'': A one-shot in which Bella is pregnant with James' demon child and has to get an abortion from [[Harry Potter (Literaturenovel)|Professor McGonagall]]. Was [[Lost Forever]], can now be found [httphttps://brewdeningloveweb.freeizarchive.comorg/favoritesweb/20190822005656/https://www.htm000webhost.com/migrate?static=true%3Fstatic%3Dtrue here.]
** ''Truelove Fight'': Another crossover, only [[Hate Fic|in bad spirits]]. This one has Edward hunting and killing [[Pokémon (Franchise)|Pokémon]] because [[Everyone Is Satan in Hell|Pikachu's ears resemble devil horns]].
** ''Edwards Birthday'': A one-shot meant to support the Joan x Edward pairing. It has a character named Tana (possibly the canon character Tanya) who tries to get with Edward to [[Yandere|disastrous results]].
** ''Edwards Secert'': A rightly loathed one-shot where Edward and Jacob [[You Fail Biology Forever|become gay for each other]] and a [[Roaring Rampage of Revenge]] is launched against Jacob when he refuses to [[Fingore|cut off one of his own fingers]] as a means of repentance.
* [[Stalker Withwith a Crush]]: Joan follows Edward around when she first decides that he's "sex-ah". It gets so bad that he has to flee into a parking lot while she's chasing him, which is when she finally gets the idea that he may not like her.
* [[Troll Fic]]: [[Poe's Law|It could easily be this.]]
* [[Would Hit a Girl]]: In chapter 28, [[Memetic Badass|Brian]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|punches Joan]], quote: "Because I am the FBI and I can."
*** A line which has since become an [[Ascended Meme]].
* [[Write Who You Know]]: Erin [[Self Insert|(as Joan)]], Jenny, Becca, and Father Holden.
* [[Yandere]]: Joan is [[Sarcasm Mode|such a sweet Christian girl]]--[[Murder the Hypotenuse|until you get between her and Edward.]]
* [[You Shall Not Pass]]: [[Dear Negative Reader|"NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111"]]
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Brewdening Love{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Twilight (novel)/Fan Works]]
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