But You Screw One Goat!: Difference between revisions
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[[File:zee parrot 133.jpg|link=Cyanide and Happiness|frame|[[Double Entendre|Looks like Polly just scored herself a cracker.]]]]
{{quote|''"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! [[I'm a Man, I Can't Help It|I was horny!]] And it was a really cute horse!"''
|'''Sweden'''|''[[Scandinavia and The World]]''}}
Want to mark a character as a sexual deviant, but don't want to run into the [[Unfortunate Implications]] that tropes like the [[Depraved Homosexual]] or [[Depraved Bisexual|Bisexual]] or the [[Psycho Lesbian]] have? Simple. Imply that they have a sexual interest in farm animals.
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This is almost always played for laughs, rather than titillation. It works partly because actual bestiality is rare enough to seem less "[[Reality Is Unrealistic]]" than other acts considered perverted, similar to the unreality of [[Big Ball of Violence|cartoon violence]] — yet common enough that it's [[Truth in Television|more plausible]] (and perhaps less gross?) than [[I Love the Dead|necrophilia]]. We don't normally worry about the goat, because of said unreality and our [[What Measure Is a Non-Human?|moral distance from animals]]. Since the animals in question are not anthropomorphized and are usually the more "comical" ones found in nature (goats, sheep, chickens), you're even likely to avoid the wrath of the [[Furry Fandom]]. Also, there are not (yet?) "Bestiality Pride" parades of the type that would inspire letter writing campaigns against the trope's use.
You may get a couple of letters from [[Animal Wrongs Group|PETA]] and a severe hoof-to-the-head concussion, but frankly [[This Is Gonna Suck|you should just expect that going in.]] Also, there is the disquieting but [[Serious Business|debated]] idea that, as [http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=496400 Dan Savage points out], an animal cannot give consent... You know... In case you weren't already reaching for the [[Brain Bleach]]. As far as legality goes, it is considered cruelty to animals: in the USA, the landmark [[w:Lawrence v. Texas|Lawrence vs Texas]] ruling that struck down the remaining sodomy bans explicitly defined that bestiality is still to be punished by the sodomy statute even if the statute doesn't mention it as a separate criminal act.
For some reason, the [[Land of My Fathers and Their Sheep|Welsh]] appear to be the most [[Acceptable Target]] for this trope, especially concerning sheep. The same also commonly applies to people from Dumfries and Aberdeen among the British. Also, Australians and New Zealanders seem to be fond of accusing each other of excessive fondness for said animal. Sometimes also alleged toward Bedouins and other groups who have long nights alone in the desert with no company except goats and camels. The American version is usually aimed at rednecks.
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{{noreallife|All The Tropes is not a gossip site.}}
{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* ''[[Full Metal Panic!]]: The Second Raid'' has a scene where Gates was apparently masturbating to the sight of ''kittens'' (that or he was watching something else and just switched channels when he was interrupted).
* In ''[[
* In ''[[Nerima Daikon Brothers]]'', both Ichiro and Yukika are ''very'' attracted to [[Pandaing to the Audience|Pandaikon]].
* Sorta played around in ''[[My Balls]]'' with Asmodeus, the sheep demon and Kohta at one instance. May also count for Beezlebub, Lamia and Minotaur.
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* Erika from ''[[After School Sex Slave Club]]'' loses her virginity to a pig in front of an audience.
* In the "[[Lupin III/Recap/S2/E35|Gorilla Tactics]]" episode of ''[[Lupin III]]'', Lupin (in disguise) taunts Zenigata about an unwanted affectionate encounter he had with a gorilla the previous evening.
* One of the sexual tortures the protagonist of ''Family of Debauchery'' is put through is being forced to mate with two doberman pinciers. It's clear from the musical cues this is supposed to be disturbing.
* Similarly, in ''[[Taimanin Asagi]]'', Igawa is publicly screwed by a Hellsteed in series 2.
** In Lillith's spinoff series, it's very narrowly averted when her master [[Deus Est Machina| kicks in the door and magicks the cerberus that was going to bang her into]] [[Ludicrous Gibs]].
* One ritual of the cult in ''[[Kowaku No Toki]]'' is having their female members have sex with a bull in order to breed minotaurs. At least one initiate liked it enough to make it a nightly occurrence.
== [[Comic Books]] ==
* The joke at the top of the page is replicated nearly word for word in ''[[Transmetropolitan]]'' (except it's a janitor in a convention hall and not a farmer) with throwaway character "Bill Chimpfucker".
* ''[[The Cartoon History of the Universe]]'' describes the process of domestication thus: "Men and sheep grew ''very'' close".
{{quote|'''Shepherd''' (hugging a sheep): Darling!
'''Sheep''': Wha-a-a-at? }}
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* A favorite of [[Garth Ennis]], particularly in ''[[Preacher (Comic Book)]]'', where Jesus de Sade, the world's wealthiest and most accomplished pervert, is offered an armadillo on a silver platter by his manservant. De Sade is also stated to have sodomized all the city zoo's larger quadrupeds, leading to the armadillo incident above. Also, during the party thrown by De Sade, we see a guy in the stocks surrounded by sheep, saying "Do it, you sluts!".
** ''[[Preacher (Comic Book)]]'' is chock full of people having sex with weird stuff, including but not limited to: A chicken, a salmon, an armadillo, [[Cargo Ship|a birthday cake]] and a [[Nausea Fuel|bunch of meat stacked up to vaguely resemble a giant woman]]. At least 3 of these by the same character.
* In ''[[Batman]]: Dark Allegiances'', an [[Elseworld]]s story set in the 1930s,
* ''[[Ramba]]'': In one scene in "Violent Death", Ramba has her pet cat Lucifer lick her vagina after finding out she has another target to assassinate.
* One of the hookers in the ''Herogasm'' issue of ''[[The Boys]]'' allows a bunch of superheroes' dogs to run a train on her. Everyone gets distracted by a guy dressed as Caligula bursting in and demanding tribute.
* In ''[[Tank Girl]]'', the enoymous character's boyfriend is Booga, a kangaroo. Downplayed, as he is a genetically enhanced talking kangaroo, and [[Widget Series| this is hardly the weirdest thing in the series]]. One big reason she's with him is that he can cook.
* [[Supergirl]] and Comet, mostly due to [[Memetic Mutation]]. Short version, Comet is actually a centaur who was cursed and turned into a horse, but can be human whenever a comet passes the Earth. Thus, he was in human form when they briefly dated, but there was still a kind-of-sorta closeness between them after he was turned back; it probably helped that he retained most of his intelligence.
== [[Fan Works]] ==
* The [[So Bad It's Good|stunningly surreal]] ''[[Final Fantasy VII]]'' fic ''[[Chocobo Nights]]'' features Tifa having sex with a chocobo. Yeah.
* ''[[Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen]]'' features Jasper Cullen having a threesome with a human named Vince and the [[Mary Sue]] heroine's sidekick. This would be all very well, if not for the fact that the sidekick is an apparently non-anthropomorphic panda.
* Ed and Al's "experiments" on sheep is a running gag in Kit-chan's ''[[Fullmetal Alchemist]]'' [[Abridged Series]] [http://inulovinkit.livejournal.com/tag/capsummary capsummaries] and [http://www.youtube.com/user/FMAVidsummaries videos].
* There is an infamous fanfic on ''[[Survival of the Fittest]]''{{'}}s [[Kink Meme]] that pairs Bridget Connolly and a dog. Someone ''requested'' this. Another request involves [[Memetic Molester|Rosa Fiametta]] and a ''horse''. You may get out the [[Brain Bleach]].
** Particularly now that the latter has been answered too. Graphically.
== [[Film]] ==
* ''[[Black Sheep (2006 film)|Black Sheep]]''. The older brother's relationship with a certain sheep has a bonus of being [[Incest Is Relative|incestuous]].
* The factor that changes the entire plot of ''[[American Pie]] Presents: Beta House''.
* In ''[[Kingpin]]'', the heroes have Vanessa Angel [[Distracted by the Sexy]] bowling opponents. It mostly works, except with a team of farmers. So they bring in this sheep...
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* ''[[Jekyll and Hyde]] ... Together Again'': The first time the doctor wakes up from his drug-crazed adventures, he's in a motel room with a sleeping girl ... and all kinds of objects most people wouldn't consider as having anything to do with sex. Unable to remember what happened, he stares at this and wonders in horror, "How low have I sunk?" Then he turns around and sees a sheep. "'''''That''''' low?!"
==
* The first book of the ''[[Aubrey-Maturin]]'' series has a mention of a sailor who gets caught buggering a goat, meaning he will be hanged, and the poor goat slaughtered. When Jack doesn't want to deal with the situation and its inevitable impact on the rest of the crew, Stephen suggests he just put them ashore: "separate shores, if you feel strongly about the moral issue."
** It gets [[Crowning Moment of Funny|better]], when Jack offers Stephen some milk in his coffee: "Goat's milk?" "Why, yes, I suppose so." "Perhaps without milk, then..."
* The novel ''Beloved'' [[Played for Drama|plays this completely seriously]]. The slaves on the farm have sex with cows because they have no prospect of sleeping with a woman.
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"Good heavens! A male sheep or a female sheep?"
"Female. There's nothing funny about Jones." }}
* In one of [[Marion Zimmer Bradley]]'s ''Lythande'' stories, through the story she constantly hears and sometimes contemplates the insult "You molester of virgin goats!" In the finale when she's confronted by a fellow member of her order who's seen evidence to let him possibly guess she's female (every member of their order has to keep one fact about themselves secret or lose their power), she starts yelling insults at him just to distract him, but when she uses the Virgin Goats one, the reaction on his face makes her immediately realize that that's HIS secret.
* Joan Hess's ''Maggody'' mysteries contain joking references to this, many of them in regards to how Raz Buchanon dotes upon his pet pedigree sow, Marjorie. Internal monologue by {{spoiler|Robin Buchanon}}, just before {{spoiler|her death}}, indicates this character had trained the family dog to engage in some highly-questionable behavior.
* Towards the end of ''[[The Takeshi Kovacs Series|Altered Carbon]]'', the main character is fighting his way through an exclusive hangout for sexual deviants, and he finds a battered-looking dog and a man who did ''something'' unpleasant to it (and who incidentally has his pants down.) The main character shoots the man in the head (nonlethal, given the futuristic setting, but quite an unpleasant experience.) This is treated as a [[Pet the Dog]] moment.
* ''[[The Emigrants]]'' features a serious version. Arvid the farmhand gets into the bad graces of the farmer's old mother. To dirty Arvid's name, she spreads a rumor that he does unknowable things to one of the cows. This becomes Arvid's motivation to emigrate to America.
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* In ''[[Who Cut the Cheese?]]'' by Stilton Jarlsberg, the teeny people occasionally attempt to "get lucky" with rats.
* The second ''[[Casca the Eternal Mercenary]]'' book has a moment when Casca insults an invading king, calling him a "molester of dogs and little boys." The king is not only angered, but astonished. ''How did he know about the dogs?''
* From ''[[Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (novel)|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire]]'', Albus Dumbledore claims he has [[Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling|an embarrassing younger sibling]] (whom he nonetheless defends) named Aberforth who was prosecuted for "practicing inappropriate charms on a goat". Now, this could have meant any manner of things (and Dumbledore doesn't say whether or not Aberforth was ''convicted'') but quite a few fan theories assume it involved this Trope.
* In ''[[Dilbert]]'' collection ''Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless'', Dogbert says that a mother has a lifetime right to tell embarrassing stories about her children. Cut to a woman, seated beside her grown son, asking someone "Did I ever tell you about Jeffrey's first visit to the zoo?...Well, Jeffrey was just reaching puberty and still confused about a lot of things..." The son begs her in anguish to stop, but to no avail: "And to this day he's still banned from the monkey cage area."
== [[Live-Action TV]] ==
* In the final episode of ''[[Blackadder]]'' II, the German Prince [[Hugh Laurie|Ludwig]] reveals that the sheep [[Stephen Fry|Melchett]] had... relations with, was actually him in brilliant disguise.
** Subverted later in the episode, when he's revealing how he knows Queen Elizabeth. It really looks like he's going to reveal that he was her horse and she had sex with him, but then it turns out that he was the German stable lad, and she didn't sleep with him. Her relationship with the horse appears purely platonic.
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'''Gwen:''' That's a poodle!
'''John:''' ''(growling)'' S'nice! }}
* In one episode of ''[[M*A*S*H (television)|
* ''[[Father Ted]]'': "No, No, Dougal, we must keep away from the idea that we're in love with the horse. It's more that we're friends with the horse."
* In ''[[Strangers with Candy]]'', Jerri Blank [[Noodle Incident|never quite got to explain what it was she did with the donkey in Tijuana]], but... it's Jerri. This trope was definitely involved.
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** A Local Book For Local People makes it [[It Got Worse|somewhat clearer]].
* In ''[[Phoenix Nights]]'', there is strong innuendo that Keith Lard (a fire safety officer from Bolton) is into bestiality. He is led away by police, only to be released when an Alsatian fails to testify. In real life, Channel 4 had to apologize to Keith La'''i'''rd (a fire safety officer from Bolton) who claimed that his reputation was damaged by this show.
* Due to [[Moral Guardians]] standards and limited dialogue potential, this is one of the few sex crimes that has never been featured on ''[[Law & Order:
* ''[[Manswers]]'' has taken this trope to its extreme, by investigating which animal's genitalia bear the closest resemblance to those of a human woman. Sheep were, of course, among the candidates researched. (Their conclusion? If you're kinky enough to care, it's {{spoiler|the dugong. At least, it could explain the [[Mermaid Problem]].}})
* In the first season of ''[[The Mighty Boosh]]'' many "intimate liaisons" with the zoo animals were implied. Howard warns Vince in one episode, not to get to close to any of the animals in the zoo bringing up the example of a (literal) fox in a nearby cage. which apparently was a "Mistake" according to Howard. Apparently in the Mighty Boosh world bestiality is a scandal more like a professor sleeping with a graduate student than how it's viewed in real life...
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* Owen, on ''[[The Vicar of Dibley]]'', is initially implied to do this. When Radio Dibley ran a ''Moral Maze'' style programme on the topic "Is Sex With Poodles ''Always'' Wrong?", he was the one speaking in favour. By the end of the series, they'd done away with all pretense and flatout stated he was regularly having sex with animals, calling a sheep his girlfriend in one episode. Jim was also stated to be at least attracted to sheep. Luckily, by that point [[Refuge in Audacity]] had become a staple for pretty much every character who wasn't Geraldine or David.
* Referenced in ''[[Scrubs]]'':
{{quote|'''Dr. Cox''': Don'cha see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.
'''Elliot''': Dolphin ''trainer'' sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.
'''Dr. Cox''': Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you ''so'' interesting. }}
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** In another episode, a client has an affair with Wendy... his cow. Which at one point leads Schmidt to say, "But you screw one cow..."
* Subverted with the usual sense of taste in an episode of ''[[The Sarah Silverman Program]]''. Sarah is arrested for bestaility when she's caught licking her dog's asshole... which she only does because [[Squick|apparently, it tastes delicious]].
* The performers on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?
** Colin's apparently random bestiality cracks are a [[Running Gag]] of sorts. ([http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwHxLuqwpQ This] clip is [[Crowning Moment of Funny|a shining example]].)
** Ryan manages to outdo him [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij-rnUMh8as#t=1m18s by pure accident]...
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'''Howard''': The phrase is "get back on the horse"... not "whores".
'''Raj''': That's disgusting, dude! }}
* A rather bizarre and unnerving example in the ''[[Power Rangers Turbo]]'' "Cassie's Best Friend" where the [[Monster of the Week]] could inflict a Baleful Polymorph curse on a victim, but had terrible aim, missing Cassie and hitting her dog, Jetson, resulting in Jetson becoming human. Calling himself "Jethro" he seemed to have something of a crush on Cassie, and was more than a little upset when he realized the change was wearing off. Granted, it didn't go further than casual dating, but still kind of creepy.
== [[Music]] ==
* [[GWAR]]'s "Fuckin' an Animal" fits this in as strict a sense as possible. Their song "Sexecutioner" does so a little bit more subtly.
* [[Bob Rivers]]' "
* [["Weird Al"
** The bickering couple in "Jerry Springer" have cheated on each other with (among others) her dog Woofie and his pet goat.
{{quote|"That goat doesn't love you!"}}
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* The many strange habits of Harald, in the Swedish song ''Haralds konstiga vanor'', apparently include getting a little too friendly with sheep.
* Related: One Welsh singer (a thirteen-year-old girl) had her album recalled so that they could alter the cover. Why? She was standing in a field with sheep. Nobody wanted the obvious jokes made.
* The infamous [[Bawdy Song]]
* The Ivor Biggun song "Halfway Up Virginia" details the sexual exploits of a stereotypical hillbilly. The singer gleefully admits to having sex with 49 sheep, a mule, a golden retriever, a skunk, a woodchuck, an unspecified number of polecats, an unspecified number of raccoons, a hound dog, a groundhog, an opossum and pretty much anything that <s>moves</s> doesn't run away fast enough. He then makes the following statement:
{{quote|
''{{'}}Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!
* "Baby Ice Dog" by [[Blue Öyster
* "So What?" by Anti-Nowhere League (popularized by [[Metallica]]'s cover of it), includes, [[Bawdy Song|among other obscenities]] "And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat, I rammed my cock right down his throat!"
* The Brazilian song
{{quote|''Eating armadillo is good''
''To bad it hurts your back''
''The animal's too short''
''That's why I prefer the goats'' }}
** It should be noted that "eating" is a slang for, [[Intercourse with You|you know...]]
* Many of [[Wesley Willis]]' songs deal with bestiality ("Suck a Cheetah's Dick", "Drink a Camel's Cum"). A schizophrenic, Willis believed that demons were tormenting him, and that the songs would disgust the demons enough to leave him alone.
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{{quote|"Some people wonder why Scotsmen like sheep/ 'Tis only because [[Gag Penis|we need something that deep]]."}}
* "The Lonely Shepherd" by [[Pig With The Face Of A Boy]] is about a shepherd who slept with another shepherd's wife, and then starts to feel a bit lonely...
* The
* A [[Society for Creative Anachronism]] parody of the song "Old-Time Religion" had a stanza that went something like:
{{quote|''All praise to Father Zeus,''
''He's a lecher on the loose,''
''He'll screw woman, goat or goose,''
''But he's good enough for me.''}}
** A popular SCA sing-along, [https://web.archive.org/web/20201116084605/http://www-cs.canisius.edu/~salley/SCA/Bardbook/moose.html "The Moose Song"], extolled the virtues of (what else?) moose, and contrasts them with other animals who are inferior companions:
{{quote|''I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
''I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
''Sharks are quite good, though they're hard to pull loose
''But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!}}
* [[Modern Man]]'s "Back into Cattle Again", a parody of "Back in the Saddle Again", tells the (first-person) story of a cowboy of indiscriminate tastes who nonetheless after much exploration has returned to his first love.
== [[Oral Tradition|Oral Tradition, Folklore, Myths and Legends]] ==
* The story of the Cretean Minotaur. ''Short version'': Minos was a king who was competing with his brothers over who should rule Crete, so he prays to Poseidon to favor him. Poseidon accepts, sending him a ''beautiful'' white bull as a sign of his favor, ''on the condition'' Minos sacrifices it to him once he becomes king. But the bull is so beautiful, Minos can't make himself kill it, and sacrifices an ordinary bull. Naturally, Poseidon is ''really'' pissed, and curses Minos' wife Pasiphaë, making her fall in love with the bull. Minos still doesn't get the hint, and orders the master engineer Daedalus to craft a lifelike wooden cow that Pasiphaë can hide inside and, well, you get the idea here. (Ironically, that means the ''bull'' is more sensible than the humans here.) This only worsens the situation, as the bull becomes a feral, violent beast (becoming a nuisance until Hercules comes to deal with it as per one of his Labors) and Pasiphaë gives birth to the Minotaur, a beast that ''only'' eats human flesh, leading to the more-well-known part of the story with the Labyrinth and Theseus.
* A number of rulers and other high-ups have been slandered by more or less fabricated accusations of zoophilia.
* The Old Testament forbids shepherds from going out alone (making them leave in pairs) specifically to prevent this "abomination," and Exodus has a bit about those who lie down with beasts.
* While it's not folklore per se, there is a long tradition of nations and cultures accusing their neighbors of sleeping with animals. This continues into the modern day. Consider the relationship between New Zealand and Australia or Scotland, England and Wales; in [[Eagle Land|the U.S.]], the [[Flyover Country|Midwest]] and the [[Deep South]] are the usual targets. For some reason it quite often seems to be sheep.
** One of the standard jokes: "Country X, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous."
** Another standard joke: "In Country X, they recently discovered another use for sheep. Wool!"
** And "Why do CountryXers have sex on clifftops? The sheep push back harder."
** In most countries, it's "Hey you, get off my cloud." But [[In Soviet Russia, Trope Mocks You|in Scotland]], it's "Hey McLeod, get off my ewe!"
** What do you call a sheep tethered to a lamppost in Cardiff? A rec centre.
** Why do Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep started running when they heard a zipper.
** In modern Russian folklore, people from Caucasus and Central Asia are referred to as "sheep/goat/donkey fuckers". A typical joke goes something like this: Why do Georgians have two donkeys in a stable, a larger and a smaller one? The larger one is for adults to "ride"; the [[Crosses the Line Twice|smaller one is for children]].
** Hungarians are notorious for their elaborate cusswords and one of the nastiest goes something like "I wish you were ass-raped by a horse" (literally: "A horse's dick up your arse"). Another Hungarian expression is one that urges the other person to have oral sex with a horse. It means, roughly, "screw you". The latter is considered very vulgar, but the first can also be used jokingly, depending on social context.
** Operation [[Desert Storm]] vintage: What do you call an Iraqi with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? A pimp.
* It's thought that Witches in their Sabbath had sex with demons in the form of animals, including [[Satan]] as a black goat.
* When someone asks what career you want, mention [[Acceptable Professional Targets|marine biology.]] [[Schmuck Bait|Go ahead, I dare you.]] [[Fan Dumb|Some people]] are under the delusion that people go into this profession want to do [[Squick|naughty things with fish, dolphins, and]] (of course) [[Naughty Tentacles|cephalopods]]. Needless to say, actual marine biologists (and people who actually want to be actual marine biologists) are [[Berserk Button|not amused]].
** The same rule of thumb goes for the technical term for livestock farming - Animal Husbandry.
== [[New Media]] ==
* In ''[[Dr. Horrible's Sing-
** And inverted when Bad Horse's letters include directions to "Make the Bad Horse gleeful/ Or [[Unusual Euphemism|he'll make you his mare]]!"
* Used in [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr7OAAP-4-g this] [[YouTube Poop]]. (See 0:50)
* Notable Aversion: For all [[Nausea Fuel|its]] [[Brain Bleach|other]] [[Body Horror|crimes]] and despite its name, "[[Shock Site|Goatse.cx]]" does not concern this trope, or [[Word Salad Title|having anything even vaguely related to goats]]. This is because [[Fun with Acronyms|Goatse is an abbreviation, which stands for (warning, vulgar)]] {{spoiler|[[Fun with Acronyms|Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone]]}}.
== [[Professional Wrestling]] ==
* In October 1999, The Godfather tried to offer his hoes to Mideon before a match. Mideon stated "I don't do hoes, but do you have any farm animals?" Note that Mideon's former gimmick is that of Phineas I. Godwinn, a pig farmer.
** Then there was the following month on Thanksgiving when he allegedly [[Squick|had intercourse with a turkey]]...
* On a 2010 episode of ''TNA iMPACT!'', [[Ric Flair]] made one of his infamous rambling promos, wherein he claimed to have had sex with Zenyatta. A race horse.
== [[Radio]] ==
* In an episode of ''[[Just a Minute]]'' recorded in Cardiff, one of the panelists was challenged for "deviating from the subject" because he was talking about sheep. He quickly responded "But sheep aren't considered a deviation in Wales."
== [[Recorded and Stand Up Comedy]] ==
* [[Cheech and Chong]]'s skit "Hey Margaret" has the couple Harry (Chong) and Margaret (Cheech) watching a porno movie where, among other things, the lead actress has sex with a dog. Also, in "The Old Man In The Park", where the Old Man (Chong) tells the Punk (Cheech) that the Punk could be his son because "I used to fuck Buffalo. In fact, you look just like your momma."
* One of [[Jeff Foxworthy]]'s "You Might be a Redneck"
* Jim Gaffigan, in a hidden track at the end of the album "Doing My Time," plays a character who talks about how he is always reminded of fucking a donkey when he returns home. His excuse: "I was drunk and he mumbled something."
* [[Ellen DeGeneres]] did a bit about folks objecting to gay marriage stating "next thing, people will be marrying goats" and wondering why they always go there first thing. "Mom, Dad...this is Billy."
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* In [[Bob Saget]]'s HBO Special ''That Ain't Right'', Bob goes on a long riff to randomly-picked audience member Jared, warning him about the dangers of fucking various animals, including goats, ostriches, turtles, and porcupines.
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
* ''[[Exalted]]'' features the Lunars, blessed of Luna and boon companions to the Solars. They generally have beast-like traits (including a "totem animal" they can change into at will), and with this comes the ability to breed [[Half-Human Hybrid|Beastmen]]. Thing is, to do it, one of the parties has to be bestial, and the other party has to be humanoid... and the Lunars can be either.
* The [[Beast Man|Gangrel]] clan sourcebook for ''[[Vampire: The Requiem]]'' has a historian claiming that the first Gangrel were made when barbarian kings had relations with animals, and were born of ancient sorcery playing on the twisted beings that emerged. Mind you, [[Multiple Choice Past|that may not be the truth]] (to put it mildly), but man, you can just see most of the clan walking out into sunlight if that turned out to be the truth, can't you?
** [-''"[[Half-Human Hybrid|The Conception]] of [[Werewolf: The Apocalypse|the Garou]]"'', Size 2 (picture) [[Vampire: The Masquerade|Gangrel Kindred]] roll Generation with difficulty of Willpower and suffer successes as Aggravated (reflexive Fortitude soak possible); [[Mad Oracle|Malkavian Kindred]] roll Willpower with difficulty of '''9''' to resist [[Laughing Mad|laughing uncontrollably]]; [[Aristocrats Are Evil|Ventrue Kindred]] roll the same roll as Malkavians to resist [[Vomit Indiscretion Shot|thowing up]]; [[Werewolf: The Apocalypse|Garou and other Changing Breeds]] roll Willpower with difficulty of 8 to resist [[Heroic BSOD|para]][[Villainous BSOD|lysis]]. [[Curiosity Is a Crapshoot|For the curious]],it´s <ref>[[Wild Child|pre-embrace Ennoia (Gangrel Antedeluvian)]]/[http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Ennoia her step-nephew.]</ref> Really. -]
== [[Theatre]] ==
* Edward Albee's ''The Goat or Who Is Sylvia''.
* The Dauphin in Shakespeare's ''[[Henry V]]'' is rather disconcertingly fond of his horse:
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[beat] }}
== [[Video Games]] ==
* A quest to disgrace a supermodel in ''[[Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines]]'' results in catching her in a threesome with a llama.
* In ''[[Total War|Rome: Total War]]'', if your general is constantly out on campaign, his retinue may eventually include a Pet Sheep.
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'''Mordin:''' Perhaps later. Trying to determine how Scale-itch got onto ''Normandy''. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications...''unpleasant''... }}
** Current bets that [[Extreme Omnisexual|Kelly]] ''isn't'' somehow responsible are twenty to one, despite [[Poison Oak Epileptic Trees|few wanting it]] [[Perverse Sexual Lust|to actually be true]].
* ''[[Dragon Age
* ''[[Dragon Age II]]'' has a "Surprise Me" that ends in two nugs (some kind of rabbit/pig hybrid) that "avoid eye contact, trying to look busy".
* ''[[Gothic]]'' has the annoying Mud, who follows you everywhere while telling annoying stories about himself. Among other things, he mentions that he was thrown in the prison colony for "liking animals too much".
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'''Guy 1:''' Heh-heh...naughty Swedish mooses... }}
* There is something of a [[Running Gag]] among the ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' fanbase about the possible origins of [[A Load of Bull|the Tauren race]]. This was codified by the WoW machinima rendering of ''[[The Internet Is for Porn]]'', which concludes with the hilarious rebus: Human + Cow = Tauren.
** One of the ''[[Vendor Trash|Steamy Romance Novels]]'' starts with the human protagonist about to engage in a ''threesome'' with a male and female Tauren. (And no, [[Fan Disservice| this is a ''not'']] a case where [[A Threesome Is Hot]].) The last line of readable text says, "The story goes on, but your good taste prevents you from reading it."
** In an actual canon example; the night elves' goddess, Elune, who by all official accounts looks like a big glowing night elf woman, had an affair with the demigod Malorne, who's only known form was that of a giant(read, two hundred feet tall) stag. This resulted in the birth of Cenarius, who looked like a centaur with a night elf upper body and a stag lower body. Being that these are deities, this is justified; just look at the mythology examples above.
* ''[[Red Dead Redemption]]'' is fond of this: a stranger mission (entitled "Who Are You To Judge?") involves returning a horse to its ''very'' affectionate owner, who has named the horse 'Lucy' and refers to her as his "girl". The horse thief who accompanies you on said mission comments that her "daddy kept goats". And lastly there's an advertisement in the newspaper for a publication called ''Sexing Livestock Quarterly''. It sure is lonely out west...
** For the record, sexing chicks ([[Un Entendre|as in sorting males from females]]) is an actual job. Which isn't to say the makers of ''[[Red Dead Redemption]]'' aren't above a bit of [[Double Entendre]].
* In ''[[
* ''[[Fable III]]'': When the player has the option of searching [[Depraved Bisexual]] Reaver's bedroom, you can find caged chickens in there.
* ''[[Jagged Alliance]] 2'' features the appropriately-named [[The Clan|Hicks clan]], an entire huge extended family of armed-to-the-teeth [[Corrupt Hick]]s. Talking to them hints at their pastimes. One is terrorizing the local city, the other is cow tipping...
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** Same game, same category, there's a rumor apparently backed by [[Word of God|Hint of God]] that {{spoiler|[[Anti-Villain|N Harmonia]]}} is [[Half-Human Hybrid|the human son of a Pokemon]]. Said character is known to have a human father, therefore... {{spoiler|Possibly subverted when one of the other sages mentions that Ghetsis might not actually be N's father... but then, who or what was?}}
*** Made even weirder by the fact that the #1 suspect for his Pokemon parent, [[Fantastic Foxes|Zoroark]], does not belong to the Human-like egg group (despite being bipedal).
* In the [[Dating Sim]] game ''[[HuniePop]]'', going all the way with Momo (a [[Cat Girl]]) will get the player the "Bestiality" achievement, and Kyu will troll you by saying, "Bestiality, huh? Hey, not judging though. Gotta do what you gotta do." Although, exactly why [https://huniepop.fandom.com/wiki/Momo Momo] is considered "less" human [[What Measure Is A Non Human| than the other non-human girls]] in the game, though, is a mystery.
== [[Web Comics]] ==
* Tycho from ''[[Penny Arcade (Webcomic)|Penny Arcade]]'' seems to have a...fondness for videos involving [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/01/18/ giraffes] (and possibly [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/10/20/advertising-in-the-future/ ostriches] as well).
** It's the necks. They're slender.
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** And even now she is still trying to live it down; her girlfriend at one point mentions use of a koala mask during sex.
** Not to mention that, when she starts gaining more fame as an actress, the studio made sure the Koala was kept out of the picture - by paying it off.
* ''[[8-
{{quote|'''Black Mage:''' ''Why'' is that your answer for everything? '''''How''''' is that your answer for everything?!}}
* The only reason the protagonists of ''[[Exterminatus Now]]'' [[Ultimate Job Security|manage to remain employed]] is due to them blackmailing their employer, Inquisition Commander Schaefer, with the knowledge of his [http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040723.html chicken] [http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040312.html fetish]. He makes it [http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20050630.html almost too easy] at times.
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'''[[The Little Mermaid|Ariel]]:''' Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should... }}
** In addition, Larxene got a fortune [[Watch It Stoned|blunt]] from Yuffie's Chinese restaurant which said "Small animals will bring you great happiness" and promptly added "... in bed!" Possibly not a genuine example, since adding "... in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes is a fairly well-known game, but...
* Stef from ''[[User Friendly]]'' supposedly has a thing for Llamas. In fact, the strip repeatedly makes jokes about [https://web.archive.org/web/20171112024053/http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050821 Llama porn...]
* There's a running gag in ''[[Brat Halla]]'' that [[Technical Pacifist|Tyr]]'s proclamations of loving animals to be taken as an admittance that he's a zoophile, to where [[Big Badass Wolf|Fenrir]] asked him not to get too close.
* In ''[[DM of the Rings]]'', the DM/Tolkien explains how the Rohirrim are such excellent riders. The players paraphrase it as "The guys with unnaturally close relations with their horses". Cue Gimli rolling a [[Critical Failure|natural 1]] on his diplomacy check...
{{quote|'''Gimli:''' Tell me your name, horse-f
'''Aragorn:''' [[Curse Cut Short|GIMLI!]] }}
* Tomato from ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20200313130906/http://www.agameoffools.com/ A Game of Fools]'' is [https://web.archive.org/web/20110917200422/http://agameoffools.com/comic_76.html pretty] [https://web.archive.org/web/20100721113254/http://agameoffools.com/comic_101.html heavily] [https://web.archive.org/web/20100721113259/http://agameoffools.com/comic_141.html implied] to swing this way, among [[Anything That Moves|many, many other bizarre fetishes]].
* Even the [[Furry Fandom]] gets in on this gag sometimes. [[All There in the Manual|Background information]] for ''[[Concession]]'' mentions that the Church of Gaia is looked down upon somewhat in-universe for its advocation of sex between furries and non-anthropomorphic animals. Artie's doctor is briefly mentioned to have a fetish for sharks, and after the incident with Chelsie Artie claims Joel has no right to judge him because of [[Noodle Incident|"that time you woke up with that feral dog"]].
** Artie references the same ([[Anything That Moves|probably]]) [http://concessioncomic.com/index.php?pid=20090529 incident] [[Brick Joke|much later]].
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* Florence and Winston's relationship in ''[[Freefall]]'' [[Uplifted Animal|isn't exactly this]], but it's referenced in these terms a few times (most obviously when Winston remarks that it's inappropriate for a doctor to get involved with his patients, but even less appropriate for a veterinarian to do so). Given who the more proactive party is, it is also treated as [[Even the Wombats Want Him|another trope]].
* Katerina of ''[[Gunnerkrigg Court]]'' develops a mutual attraction with a boy named Alistair who is visiting the Court for a week. [[It Makes Sense in Context|To make a long story short]], he gets permanently [[Animorphism|turned into a bird]] at the end of that week. Now, this in itself is innocent enough; after all, she fell in love with Alistair while he was still human, and she didn't know anything about him turning into a bird until right when he was about to leave. But immediately after this whole arc, Katerina is later shown sharing with Antimony a picture of a "cute boy"—in an ornithological journal. She also seems to have an implied bird fetish in later strips.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130326012316/http://oglaf.com/husbandry/1/ This] ''[[Oglaf]]'' strip.{{context}}
== [[Web Original]] ==
* Victoria of ''[[The Twilight Chronicles]]'' is heavily hinted to have slept with Jacob's dog. It's more or less confirmed a few episodes later when Carlisle mentions that he left Mexico because Victoria wanted to bring dogs into their sex life.
* Amaranth in ''[[Tales of MU]]'' is bound by her nature to have sex with intelligent beings who want it. She sends her goddess burnt offerings of reports on animal cognition in the hopes of having the definition expanded.
* Possibly deconstructed by the short web series, ''[[There She Is]]''; the manner of revulsion from the public caused by a relationship between a rabbit and a cat seems to be portrayed somewhere between [[Fantastic Racism]] and straight up bestiality. Especially deconstructed because the rationale behind such an extreme hatred is completely lost on the viewer.
** If one can read their site (They're Korean), this is intentional.
* [[Skippy's List]]
* When ''[[The Cinema Snob]]'' reviewed ''[[Island Of Death]]'', he couldn't get past the fact that the male character did, in fact, screw a goat.
* ''[[Welshy]]'', in order to prove he's British to Mike J, stated that the things he had screwed included a bagel, [[Running Gag|his sister]], and a goat.
* In [https://web.archive.org/web/20140709205511/http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/nash/wtfiwwy/28552-all-creatures-great-and-dumb an episode] of ''[[What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?]]'', Nash gets revolted at [
== [[Western Animation]] ==
*
** The ''Chickenlover'' episode.
** And I think there was one where they visit Mexico, cheering at the sights. One of these is a donkey show.
** And of course, Mr. Garrison, who's had sex with (at minimum) a pigeon and a pig.
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'''Phillip:''' Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
'''Terrance:''' Well, let's see. [[Captain Obvious|First of all, you fuck pigs]]. }}
* Troy McClure of ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' has, as one of his reasons for his career's downturn, a scandal involving his "actions" at the Springfield Aquarium.
{{quote|'''Legs:''' I thought you said Troy McClure was dead?
'''Fat Tony:''' No, what I said was he ''[[Exact Words|sleeps with the fishes]]''. You see...
'''Legs:''' Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo...}}
*
** Quagmire has examples of this among his many, many other perversions. He seems to have actually sired an offspring with a giraffe.
** Peter has also learned what the blowhole is ''not'' for, which is why [[Persona Non Grata|he can never visit Sea World again]].
** And those weren't Brian's puppies after all. Seabreeze, you're a whore.
*** Oddly, they never tackled the inversion of Brian and his human girlfriend...until Brian traveled to an alternate universe where humans' and dogs' roles were reversed. Then his desire for human women became Squick.
*** Brian even had a brief affair with Lois when Peter was believed to be dead, the craziest part being that it had a ''positive'' impact on the entire family. Brian stopped drinking and got a job, Meg started to become more social, and Chris stated doing better in school. It clearly didn't make Peter look good.
** The best moment involving Quagmire has ''got'' to be their drinking game on the episode where they become fishermen. The gang continues to come up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios for a sex drinking game where you take a shot if you've done it, which result in him being the only one getting drunk. A few even result in him taking ''multiple'' shots. [[Charles Atlas Superpower|Truly, a hero without limits.]]
** And [https://web.archive.org/web/20070523003819/http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=5789 here's the video].
{{quote|'''Joe''': I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself.
'''Quagmire''': Oh come on! (takes drink) }}
* In ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'', when the evil inventor's brother gets a crush on Bubbie, a whale, Captain K'nuckles calls him a "disgusting weirdo."
** In another episode Bubbie
* Given it's [[The Deep South|setting]] and [[Refuge in Audacity|tone]], ''[[Squidbillies]]'' is bound to have some of this.
{{quote|'''Early''': You wanna bang y'allself a goat? 'Cause the goat's dead, but, uh, we c'n still do this thang. Hell, I'll give you boys a discount!}}
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* A running joke on ''[[Archer]]'', in which various characters comment about how much Malory loved her dog, Duchess. Malory keeps a photo of herself on her desk, lying naked with Duchess in a pose which [[Ho Yay|suggests far more intimacy than the relationship a normal owner would have with their pet]].
* ''[[Futurama]]'': "You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?!"
* In episode 1 of the [[Netflix]] ''[[Castlevania (TV series)|Castlevania]]'' cartoon, Trevor bumps into a farmer in a bar angry about walking in on the village idiot and his (the farmer's) goat. The farmer whomped the idiot with a shovel and he went blind, so according to the baron, he has to pay the guy.
== Other Media ==
* ''T Shirt Hell''
** An older one, no longer available, used ''[[Star Wars]]'' font and was titled "May the Horse be With You" with a silhouette of a horse and a woman, um...
* [[Rule 34]] has this going for it in spades.
* A man left his workstation unlocked while browsing the [https://web.archive.org/web/20131030234700/http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/ Straight Dope Message Boards]; a mischievous coworker stopped by his unattended cubicle and started a topic for him. The subject? "Sex with sheep is fun." (He has, of course, [[Never Live It Down|yet to live this down]]).
* Inverted [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRm8okHhapU&feature=player_embedded in this infamous video].{{context}}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc On the subject of infamous videos...]
* A quote attributed to comedian Richard Jeni: "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you’ve got millions of pals out there. Type in, ‘Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire,’ and the computer will say, ‘Specify breed of goat.’"
** It's actually a quote from the book "Dave Barry in Cyberspace".
* [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] has an article on [[wikipedia:Enumclaw horse sex case|Mr. Hands]], a guy who took it from behind via horse. [[What an Idiot!|His friends were drunk off their rocks and didn't have him sent to the ER when the resulting act perforated his colon and caused it to bleed.]]
** [[Truth in Television]], actually.
* Go try to play a game of ''[[Settlers of Catan]]''. We'll wait here.
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* In some versions of the [[wikipedia:Goatman (Maryland)|Goatman]] [[Urban Legends]], its creation is attributed to a government researcher who was engaged in [[Unusual Euphemism|in-depth studies]] of goats.
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20121127143217/http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/His_%22wife%22%3F_A_horse. His "wife"? A horse.] Naturally, Fandom Wank turned it into a [[Memetic Mutation]].
* Presumed [[Trope Namer]]:
{{quote|''A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?"''
''The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me McGregor the dockbuilder? No, no."''
''The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me McGregor the fisherman? No, no."''
''[[Rule of Three|The old man continued]], "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me McGregor the farmer? No, no."''
''The old man starts to cry again, "[[Never Live It Down|But you screw]] '''[[Never Live It Down|one goat]]'''..."'' }}
* The [[Trope Namer]] might be the following joke as well:
** A Viking is standing on a mountain overlooking a seaside village and screaming his rage at the gods: - I have felled all the trees to make place for our village! But do the call me "Lumberjack"? - I have built all the houses of the village! But do they call me "Builder"? - I have built all the boats! But do they call me "Shipwright"? - I have caught enough fish to feed the village for a winter! But do they call me "Fisher"? - I have led Vikings into battle and brought them home, safe and rich! But do they call me "Warlord"? - Ye Gods, where is your justice? I have only once screwed just a single goat!
* Theres a military joke about a young (Army/Marine) Lieutenant's first time in Iraq, with the punchline being his Sergeant explains that he was supposed to ride the camel into town to pay a hooker.
** That's only the latest update of a joke that's at least as old as colonialism in the Middle East.
* Another joke describes a young shepherd who, lonely with the long hours alone in the fields with his sheep, was horrified to find himself starting to cast sideways glances at his charges. He asked an older, more experienced shepherd for advice, and was told to train a vicious dog to attack him if he started disrobing around the sheep. He did so, but the loneliness continued, until one day he heard a woman screaming off in the distance. Tracking down its source, he found a beautiful maiden who had been chased up a tree by a pack of wolves. After the shepherd and his dog chased away the wolves, the maiden asked if there were anything she could do to repay him. "Actually there is," he replied. {{spoiler|"Can you keep this dog distracted for about ten minutes?"}}
* A similar joke goes: a tired traveler is crossing a vast desert on his camel, and thinks to himself, "I haven't had sex for days...I'll make do with this camel." However, the camel won't stay still to allow him to have sex with it. Suddenly, three beautiful women appear out of nowhere. "You look lost," one says. "Can I help you?" Yes, the traveler says. "Could you please help me hold down the camel?"
* A gentleman stops by a biker bar and notices a large jar full of twenty dollar bills sitting on a high shelf. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender tells him that anyone who likes can put a twenty in the jar and then attempt to win the pot by completing three tasks: defeating the toughest biker in the bar in a fistfight, performing some amateur dentistry on the bartender's vicious dog which has a sore tooth, and sexually satisfying the bartender's hideously ugly nymphomaniac wife. The man drops a twenty in the jar, walks over to the biker and knocks him out with one punch. He strides confidently the back room, where the bartender hears his dog give out the most pitiful howl he's ever heard. The man returns and asks the bartender, {{spoiler|"Okay, now where's that ugly lady with the sore tooth?"}}
** There's a variation of that in Finland: A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian were visiting Greenland, and decided to have a wager of toughness: they had to drink a keg of vodka, kill a polar bear barehanded and make love to an Eskimo woman. The Swede and the Norwegian failed in humiliating ways, but the Finn drank down the entire keg and left off to find a polar bear. Hours later he comes back covered in tears and scratches and asks: {{spoiler|"Nhow wheresh that Eshkhimo I wash shupposhed to kill?"}}
*** The same joke is told with a [[Everything Is Big in Texas|Texan]] who went to Alaska, and was given the same challenge.
** There's also a variation in Brazil: Mussum of ''[[Os Trapalhões]]'' tried to join a gang and was told that, in order to join, he had to complete three tasks: drinking a whole bottle of (the troper isn't sure of the kind of alcoholic beverage) at once, cut off the tail of a lion caged near the bar where he and the gang were having the challenge, and kissing the ugly bartender ten times. He could do the tasks in any order he chose and started with the drinking challenge. Mussum then left the bar to search for the lion. Upon returned, he mentioned he had just finished kissing the lion and would now cut the woman's tail.
* An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year. One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut. The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe's trust. "Why, what's the matter?" he stammered. "It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby... a white baby," said the chief. The anthropologist began to laugh. "Oh, is that all? No, that's just a classic case of albinism. It's caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and..." The chief didn't look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. "See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It's like that!" The chief was silent for a moment and said, {{spoiler|"Listen, you don't talk about the sheep, and I won't talk about the baby."}}
* A man goes to a bawdy house and asks the proprietor what "services" he can get for five dollars. "Five dollars?!" says the proprietor. "That's all I have," says the customer. "Very well," says the proprietor, "follow me." He takes the man to a small room containing nothing but a chicken. "What am I supposed to do with ''that''?" asks the man. "Hey, you came here for sex," says the proprietor, "and you get what you pay for." He leaves, and the man, disgusted but desperate, has sex with the chicken. The next week, he comes back and asks what he can get for ten dollars. "Follow me," says the proprietor. He takes the customer to a room where a number of men are watching a peep show. The customer looks through a peephole and sees a man having sex with a sheep. He joins his fellow customers in derisive laughter. Nudging the man beside him, he says, "Boy, what a pathetic sicko that guy is, huh?" "That's nothing," says the other. {{spoiler|"Last week there was a guy in there screwing a chicken."}}
* A farmer, trying to improve his mind, takes up reading in his spare time. Every time he comes across an unfamiliar word, he jots it down so he can ask the minister, who's the most educated person in the village. One day he sees the minister walking by, waves him over, and hands him the list. "Reverend," he says, "can you tell me what these words mean?" The minister patiently defines them one by one, then blushes and hesitates as he comes to the last word. "Come on, Reverend," says the farmer. "Don't be bashful. What does 'bestiality' mean?" "Er...well," says the minister, "it refers to the forbidden and disgusting act of intimate relations with beasts, such as sheep, goats, and chickens." "Ewww," says the farmer. {{spoiler|"Chickens?"}}
* During the Bush Administration, First Lady Laura Bush told on television a joke about George milking a horse.
* The three biggest lies in <<name the place you're insulting>>:
** 1. I own my own car/truck/etc.
** 2. I know who my dad is
** 3. I was just helping that sheep over a fence.
* In France, the [[Legion of Lost Souls|French Foreign Legion]] is often jokingly associated with goats.
* An American researcher comes to England to study farming. On his travels he hears about the practice of sheep fornication. He goes around Yorkshire asking farmers "Do you have intercourse with sheep?" As you can expect, the farmers are insulted, demanding he leave and slamming the door in his face. Just as he is about to give up, one man he asks looks around and answers "yes, and I'll answer your questions so long as you can promise you won't reveal anything about me". So the researcher asks "well...how do you do it?" The farmer replies "you put the back legs in your boots and the front legs on a wall and go from there." From there, the researcher goes to Wales, where he asks the same question. The first farmer he meets boldly responds "yes!". Again, the researcher asks how, and the Welshman responds "You put the back legs in your boots and the front legs over your shoulders and go from there". The researcher says "Thats interesting, because in Yorkshire a man said back legs in boots and front over a wall". [[Crosses the Line Twice|"What?!" replies the Welshman, "No kissing?!"]]
* A farmer went to psychiatrist, complaining that he was being sexually aroused by his horse. "I see", said the psychiatrist, "Is the horse a stallion or mare?" "Mare, of course!" answered the farmer angrily; "Do you take me for some kind of pervert?"
* A tourist is visiting New Zealand. While driving in the countryside, he spots a farmer with his sheep. The tourist asks, "Are you shearing that sheep?" The farmer replies, "No, get your own. I'm not sharing her with anyone!"
----
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Sex Tropes]]
[[Category:Tropes About Perverts]]
[[Category:Animal Tropes]]
[[Category:Truth in Television]]
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