But You Screw One Goat!

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Looks like Polly just scored herself a cracker.

"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! I was horny! And it was a really cute horse!"

Want to mark a character as a sexual deviant, but don't want to run into the Unfortunate Implications that tropes like the Depraved Homosexual or Bisexual or the Psycho Lesbian have? Simple. Imply that they have a sexual interest in farm animals.

This is almost always played for laughs, rather than titillation. It works partly because actual bestiality is rare enough to seem less "Reality Is Unrealistic" than other acts considered perverted, similar to the unreality of cartoon violence — yet common enough that it's more plausible (and perhaps less gross?) than necrophilia. We don't normally worry about the goat, because of said unreality and our moral distance from animals. Since the animals in question are not anthropomorphized and are usually the more "comical" ones found in nature (goats, sheep, chickens), you're even likely to avoid the wrath of the Furry Fandom. Also, there are not (yet?) "Bestiality Pride" parades of the type that would inspire letter writing campaigns against the trope's use.

You may get a couple of letters from PETA and a severe hoof-to-the-head concussion, but frankly you should just expect that going in. Also, there is the disquieting but debated idea that, as Dan Savage points out, an animal cannot give consent... You know... In case you weren't already reaching for the Brain Bleach. As far as legality goes, it is considered cruelty to animals: in the USA, the landmark Lawrence vs Texas ruling that struck down the remaining sodomy bans explicitly defined that bestiality is still to be punished by the sodomy statute even if the statute doesn't mention it as a separate criminal act.

For some reason, the Welsh appear to be the most Acceptable Target for this trope, especially concerning sheep. The same also commonly applies to people from Dumfries and Aberdeen among the British. Also, Australians and New Zealanders seem to be fond of accusing each other of excessive fondness for said animal. Sometimes also alleged toward Bedouins and other groups who have long nights alone in the desert with no company except goats and camels. The American version is usually aimed at rednecks.

For the trope where people remember something naughty the character did and nothing else about the character who did it, see Never Live It Down.

Compare Extreme Omnisexual.

A Sub-Trope of Unequal Pairing.

No real life examples, please; All The Tropes is not a gossip site.

Examples of But You Screw One Goat! include:

Anime and Manga

  • Full Metal Panic!: The Second Raid has a scene where Gates was apparently masturbating to the sight of kittens (that or he was watching something else and just switched channels when he was interrupted).
  • In The Familiar of Zero, Louise famously accuses Saito of being willing to poke anything that stays still long enough: "Maid, dog, cat, goat!"
  • In Nerima Daikon Brothers, both Ichiro and Yukika are very attracted to Pandaikon.
  • Sorta played around in My Balls with Asmodeus, the sheep demon and Kohta at one instance. May also count for Beezlebub, Lamia and Minotaur.
  • Tsukihime made an Ascended Meme out of the line "That's all right... A cat is fine, too". (Context: A dojinshi portrays Shiki as a Memetic Molester who wants to do terrible things to Len. When Len tries to escape via transforming into a cat, Shiki utters that immortal line.)
  • Erika from After School Sex Slave Club loses her virginity to a pig in front of an audience.
  • In the "Gorilla Tactics" episode of Lupin III, Lupin (in disguise) taunts Zenigata about an unwanted affectionate encounter he had with a gorilla the previous evening.
  • One of the sexual tortures the protagonist of Family of Debauchery is put through is being forced to mate with two doberman pinciers. It's clear from the musical cues this is supposed to be disturbing.
  • Similarly, in Taimanin Asagi, Igawa is publicly screwed by a Hellsteed in series 2.
  • One ritual of the cult in Kowaku No Toki is having their female members have sex with a bull in order to breed minotaurs. At least one initiate liked it enough to make it a nightly occurrence.

Comic Books

  • The joke at the top of the page is replicated nearly word for word in Transmetropolitan (except it's a janitor in a convention hall and not a farmer) with throwaway character "Bill Chimpfucker".
  • The Cartoon History of the Universe describes the process of domestication thus: "Men and sheep grew very close".

Shepherd (hugging a sheep): Darling!
Sheep: Wha-a-a-at?

    • Later:

Chicken: None of that funny stuff with ME, pal!

Mr. Rictus: "I do not fuck goats, Mr. Gibson. I make love to them."

    • In the Brazilian translation, it's actually kangaroos.
    • This eventually led to the famous Nextwave cover parody of the Civil War event, which read "Mark Millar Licks Goats". Millar apparently took it in stride.
  • Deconstructed in Alan Moore's Swamp Thing run. After pictures of her and (the admittedly anthropomorphic) Swamp Thing are shown in newspapers, Abigail Cable is arrested for her relationship and charged with "crimes against nature", the laws that would usually be used to prosecute the aforementioned screwers of farm animals. She's arrested, fired from her job, her reputation is ruined, everyone starts treating her like a horrible sex offender, and Swampy is forced to cover almost the entirety of Gotham in greenery in order to secure her release. It is up to Batman to point out that if the authorities are going to arrest everyone in The DCU who has a relationship with a non-human, and it's the delivery that just nails it as a literal Space Whale Aesop. Eventually we will run into intelligent non-humans, and perhaps the biggest part of What Measure Is a Non-Human? is whether or not we believe them - or they believe us - worthy of love.

Batman: I mean, if you want to take this all the way, non-humanity doesn't end with the Swamp Thing. Let me see... You'll possibly have to arrest Hawkman... and Metamorpho... ...And there's also Starfire, from the Titans. Her race evolved from cats, I believe... The Martian Manhunter, obviously. Atom... And then of course there's what's-his-name... the one who lives in Metropolis.

    • Played to comedic effect in the DC Universe-based online role-plays of JLA_Watchtower and DC Nation. The characters are taking the 5,000-question online "purity test," and Gar Logan's girlfriend (an OC who is an animal-based shape-shifter like he is) quips, "Honey, just how DO we answer those bestiality questions?"
  • Also gets a deconstructive nod in X-Men. Beast's already blue and furry, but when he undergoes a secondary mutation that leaves him looking more feline than hominid, his girlfriend breaks up with him because the tabloids start comparing the relationship to bestiality.
  • A favorite of Garth Ennis, particularly in Preacher (Comic Book), where Jesus de Sade, the world's wealthiest and most accomplished pervert, is offered an armadillo on a silver platter by his manservant. De Sade is also stated to have sodomized all the city zoo's larger quadrupeds, leading to the armadillo incident above. Also, during the party thrown by De Sade, we see a guy in the stocks surrounded by sheep, saying "Do it, you sluts!".
  • In Batman: Dark Allegiances, an Elseworlds story set in the 1930s, Reverend Jones (the story's Joker) keeps insinuating that there is a blue movie of actress Kitty Graymalkin (a.k.a. Catwoman) having unnatural relations with a Rottweiler.
  • Ramba: In one scene in "Violent Death", Ramba has her pet cat Lucifer lick her vagina after finding out she has another target to assassinate.
  • One of the hookers in the Herogasm issue of The Boys allows a bunch of superheroes' dogs to run a train on her. Everyone gets distracted by a guy dressed as Caligula bursting in and demanding tribute.
  • In Tank Girl, the enoymous character's boyfriend is Booga, a kangaroo. Downplayed, as he is a genetically enhanced talking kangaroo, and this is hardly the weirdest thing in the series. One big reason she's with him is that he can cook.
  • Supergirl and Comet, mostly due to Memetic Mutation. Short version, Comet is actually a centaur who was cursed and turned into a horse, but can be human whenever a comet passes the Earth. Thus, he was in human form when they briefly dated, but there was still a kind-of-sorta closeness between them after he was turned back; it probably helped that he retained most of his intelligence.

Fan Works


  • Black Sheep. The older brother's relationship with a certain sheep has a bonus of being incestuous.
  • The factor that changes the entire plot of American Pie Presents: Beta House.
  • In Kingpin, the heroes have Vanessa Angel Distracted by the Sexy bowling opponents. It mostly works, except with a team of farmers. So they bring in this sheep...
  • In Kinsey, a sex researcher asks a heavily accented man about his first sexual experience, and he says what sounds like "with a horse." Stunned, the researcher asks more about the man's sexual experimentation with animals, to which the man exclaims "It's true, I fucked a pony. How did you know?" Turns out he had said "with whores" the first time.
  • Pink Flamingos: Crackers sure does seem to have a thing for those chickens.
  • In a brief scene in the city from Conan the Barbarian, Conan and Subotai have a good laugh over a guy screwing a llama.
  • The 2009 Star Trek movie has Uhura invoke this while snubbing Kirk's advances:

Uhura: Oh, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.
Kirk: Well, not only.

  • The whole "Shepherd and shrink" part of Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask. The sheep in lingerie! Yikes!
  • In Night on Earth, a cab driver (Roberto Benigni) confesses to his priest passenger that he's had sex with both a pumpkin and a sheep, going into lurid detail about said acts. The confession proves too much for the priest to take, and he has a heart attack and dies.
  • In The Animal the protagonist (who has animal organs implanted in him) gets sexually attracted to a goat in heat, Played for Laughs.
  • This trope is the main joke in Fierce Creatures, where a comedy of errors occurs that repeatedly involve Jamie Lee Curtis walking in on John Cleese, women, and various livestock.
  • District 9 anybody?
    • After Wikus flees the Corrupt Corporate Executive and his goons, the media reports that he was seeking out alien whores. Every human he talks to after that for the rest of the movie comments on his alien sex.
    • People think that Wikus' steady transformation into an alien is due to an alien STD.
    • Totally justified in that thanks to MNU's propaganda, that's all anyone did know about Wikus.
  • In one film version of Vilhelm Moberg's The Emigrants, one of the main characters begs to be taken along to America because everyone back home torments him about his suggested trysts with a cow. It's fairly likely it's just an unsubstantiated tale, but that doesn't stop it from ruining his life.
  • Vase de Noces, informally known as The Pig Fucking Movie.
  • Island of Death showed the main character having sex with a goat. It gets weirder from then on.
  • In Far and Away, Joseph uses this trope to insult his drunken brothers when they start giving him trouble.

Joseph: Shag off, the pair of you. There's a goat over there. Go improve your love life.

  • Jekyll and Hyde ... Together Again: The first time the doctor wakes up from his drug-crazed adventures, he's in a motel room with a sleeping girl ... and all kinds of objects most people wouldn't consider as having anything to do with sex. Unable to remember what happened, he stares at this and wonders in horror, "How low have I sunk?" Then he turns around and sees a sheep. "That low?!"


  • The first book of the Aubrey-Maturin series has a mention of a sailor who gets caught buggering a goat, meaning he will be hanged, and the poor goat slaughtered. When Jack doesn't want to deal with the situation and its inevitable impact on the rest of the crew, Stephen suggests he just put them ashore: "separate shores, if you feel strongly about the moral issue."
    • It gets better, when Jack offers Stephen some milk in his coffee: "Goat's milk?" "Why, yes, I suppose so." "Perhaps without milk, then..."
  • The novel Beloved plays this completely seriously. The slaves on the farm have sex with cows because they have no prospect of sleeping with a woman.
  • In The Journeyer, by Gary Jennings, a historical novel about the life and travels of Marco Polo, the slave Nostril first makes his appearance being dragged behind a panicked mare which he had been assigned to groom and to which he had been chained. Nostril's proclivities get more creative as the novel progresses.
  • Played rather seriously in Balzac's novella A Passion in the Desert where a man's relationship with a leopard he domesticates is presented in romantic terms.
  • Ditto for the main character and his horse in Brightly Burning by Mercedes Lackey. Of course, since the horse is a Talking Animal, it's not quite as perverted.
    • He and his Companion are in love with each other, but he only ever mounts her in the usual equine sense. The heralds probably would have had something to say, otherwise...
    • It should be noted that Companions are the divinely reincarnated souls of dead (human) Heralds. This might help make it less creepy.
  • In the Stephanie Plum book series, Stephanie's cousin Vinnie was once "in love" with a duck.
    • Vinnie is the butt of this joke quite often. In one of Stephanie's monologues he's said to sleep with anything: Women, Men, Dogs, Goats...
    • There's also a persistent rumor about Joyce's alleged fondness for dogs...
  • Ferrol Sams' book Run With The Horseman has the character nicknamed "Moo Cow" for this reason.
  • John Ringo plays with this quite literally in Unto the Breach, where one of the village elders essentially comments that it was just one goat...
  • From The Xenophobe's Guide To The Welsh, a joke apparently told by the Welsh themselves:

"Have you heard? Old Jones the farmer has been found interfering with a sheep!"
"Good heavens! A male sheep or a female sheep?"
"Female. There's nothing funny about Jones."

  • In one of Marion Zimmer Bradley's Lythande stories, through the story she constantly hears and sometimes contemplates the insult "You molester of virgin goats!" In the finale when she's confronted by a fellow member of her order who's seen evidence to let him possibly guess she's female (every member of their order has to keep one fact about themselves secret or lose their power), she starts yelling insults at him just to distract him, but when she uses the Virgin Goats one, the reaction on his face makes her immediately realize that that's HIS secret.
  • Joan Hess's Maggody mysteries contain joking references to this, many of them in regards to how Raz Buchanon dotes upon his pet pedigree sow, Marjorie. Internal monologue by Robin Buchanon, just before her death, indicates this character had trained the family dog to engage in some highly-questionable behavior.
  • Towards the end of Altered Carbon, the main character is fighting his way through an exclusive hangout for sexual deviants, and he finds a battered-looking dog and a man who did something unpleasant to it (and who incidentally has his pants down.) The main character shoots the man in the head (nonlethal, given the futuristic setting, but quite an unpleasant experience.) This is treated as a Pet the Dog moment.
  • The Emigrants features a serious version. Arvid the farmhand gets into the bad graces of the farmer's old mother. To dirty Arvid's name, she spreads a rumor that he does unknowable things to one of the cows. This becomes Arvid's motivation to emigrate to America.
  • John Donne's "Satire IV", which skewers gossipy would-be courtly types, references this one:

Who wasts in meat, in clothes, in horse, he notes;
Who loves Whores, who boyes, and who goats.

  • In Who Cut the Cheese? by Stilton Jarlsberg, the teeny people occasionally attempt to "get lucky" with rats.
  • The second Casca the Eternal Mercenary book has a moment when Casca insults an invading king, calling him a "molester of dogs and little boys." The king is not only angered, but astonished. How did he know about the dogs?
  • From Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Albus Dumbledore claims he has an embarrassing younger sibling (whom he nonetheless defends) named Aberforth who was prosecuted for "practicing inappropriate charms on a goat". Now, this could have meant any manner of things (and Dumbledore doesn't say whether or not Aberforth was convicted) but quite a few fan theories assume it involved this Trope.
  • In Dilbert collection Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless, Dogbert says that a mother has a lifetime right to tell embarrassing stories about her children. Cut to a woman, seated beside her grown son, asking someone "Did I ever tell you about Jeffrey's first visit to the zoo?...Well, Jeffrey was just reaching puberty and still confused about a lot of things..." The son begs her in anguish to stop, but to no avail: "And to this day he's still banned from the monkey cage area."

Live-Action TV

  • In the final episode of Blackadder II, the German Prince Ludwig reveals that the sheep Melchett had... relations with, was actually him in brilliant disguise.
    • Subverted later in the episode, when he's revealing how he knows Queen Elizabeth. It really looks like he's going to reveal that he was her horse and she had sex with him, but then it turns out that he was the German stable lad, and she didn't sleep with him. Her relationship with the horse appears purely platonic.
    • In the premier episode of series one, Edmund is secretly nursing Henry Tudor back to health in his room, hoping for a reward. His mother comes in, and when Edmund implies that there is someone in his bed, the Queen asks if it is a sheep. He denies this. Later on, to keep her from checking the bed he makes bleating noises. Her response: "Oh, Edmund. It's the lying I find so hurtful."
  • On The Golden Girls, Uncle Nunzio and his 'pet' goat are repeatedly mentioned.
  • One character in the first episode of Krod Mandoon and The Flaming Sword of Fire likes to have sex with horses.
  • In the Torchwood episode "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Captain John Hart expresses an attraction to poodles.

Gwen: Do you ever stop?
John: What, five minutes to live and you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous...
Gwen: That's a poodle!
John: (growling) S'nice!

  • In one episode of M*A*S*H Mulcahy keeps trying to describe The Yearling (a film that was going to be shown) 'about a tender relationship between a boy and a young deer', and each time, the character (Radar, Potter, etc.) would respond with a "Oh yeah, like my (relative), except it was with a (mule, horse)" with an implication that their relative had a more intimate fondness with their chosen animal.
  • Father Ted: "No, No, Dougal, we must keep away from the idea that we're in love with the horse. It's more that we're friends with the horse."
  • In Strangers with Candy, Jerri Blank never quite got to explain what it was she did with the donkey in Tijuana, but... it's Jerri. This trope was definitely involved.
  • On The League of Gentlemen the Tattsyrup family are said to have a bit of pig in their ancestry (which turns up in their noses), and Hilary Briss is married to a cow. The extent of their relationship is unclear.
  • In Phoenix Nights, there is strong innuendo that Keith Lard (a fire safety officer from Bolton) is into bestiality. He is led away by police, only to be released when an Alsatian fails to testify. In real life, Channel 4 had to apologize to Keith Laird (a fire safety officer from Bolton) who claimed that his reputation was damaged by this show.
  • Due to Moral Guardians standards and limited dialogue potential, this is one of the few sex crimes that has never been featured on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. It has, however, been referenced in dialogue between sex-crimes investigators. "His father caught him alone with his new bride, Missy. Missy's a German shepherd."
  • Manswers has taken this trope to its extreme, by investigating which animal's genitalia bear the closest resemblance to those of a human woman. Sheep were, of course, among the candidates researched. (Their conclusion? If you're kinky enough to care, it's the dugong. At least, it could explain the Mermaid Problem.)
  • In the first season of The Mighty Boosh many "intimate liaisons" with the zoo animals were implied. Howard warns Vince in one episode, not to get to close to any of the animals in the zoo bringing up the example of a (literal) fox in a nearby cage. which apparently was a "Mistake" according to Howard. Apparently in the Mighty Boosh world bestiality is a scandal more like a professor sleeping with a graduate student than how it's viewed in real life...
    • This is probably because animals in the Boosh-verse are sapient. Most of them can talk, and are of comparable intelligence to the human characters. Not only are they capable of consenting to sex with humans, more than often they are the ones who instigate it (who can forget the scene where Vince gets raped by that panda?).
  • In Sons of Anarchy after Tig spills his bike during a charity run and requires medical attention he's picked-up at the hospital by bounty-hunters over an outstanding warrant in Oregon. The charge? ...indecent exposure in a livestock transport.
  • Owen, on The Vicar of Dibley, is initially implied to do this. When Radio Dibley ran a Moral Maze style programme on the topic "Is Sex With Poodles Always Wrong?", he was the one speaking in favour. By the end of the series, they'd done away with all pretense and flatout stated he was regularly having sex with animals, calling a sheep his girlfriend in one episode. Jim was also stated to be at least attracted to sheep. Luckily, by that point Refuge in Audacity had become a staple for pretty much every character who wasn't Geraldine or David.
  • Referenced in Scrubs:

Dr. Cox: Don'cha see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.
Elliot: Dolphin trainer sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.
Dr. Cox: Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting.

    • Another reference with that dolphin trainer:

Sean: Why are things so much easier with dolphins?
Elliot: Probably because you're not trying to date the dolphin.
Sean: Oh, God, no. Not after that big talk they gave us.

  • In Life On Mars, Chris and Ray make sheep noises at a prisoner ("Dicky Fingers") they're picking up for transport. When Sam asks why, Chris refers to this trope. Later, as they're driving, Chris points out a lamb; Dicky responds, "What d'you think I am, a nonce?" ("Nonce" being UK slang for child molester.)
  • Boston Legal: Denny was shown repeatedly to have a thing for sheep.
    • Also, there was that thing with that camel that one time in the military... The camel, apparently, had no complaints.
    • In another episode, a client has an affair with Wendy... his cow. Which at one point leads Schmidt to say, "But you screw one cow..."
  • Subverted with the usual sense of taste in an episode of The Sarah Silverman Program. Sarah is arrested for bestaility when she's caught licking her dog's asshole... which she only does because apparently, it tastes delicious.
  • The performers on Whose Line Is It Anyway? tend to default to sheep if they ever bring up this trope.

Ryan: (playing Tarzan) Before you come, Tarzan only have animals...

Ryan: I mean as friends!

Jim Sweeney: (translating Josie's faux-Albanian) "I like to stroke the big ones... Some of those sheep play really hard-to-get... (catches Josie in an unfortunate gesture) ...I think that speaks for itself..."

  • Red Dwarf: Lister complains that he's personally broken four of the five holy commandments he supposedly passed down to the Cat people; "I'd've broken the fifth, but there's no sheep on board."
  • Mentioned in The Thick of It when Malcolm gives Olly a bollocking for questioning one of his more unscrupulous schemes: "Don't start with the moral objections, you fuckin' Blue Peter badge-wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to fuckin' Amnesty International! Go and buy a goat that a whole village can fuck!"
  • Corky from Murphy Brown was first runner up at the Miss America contest, but got the crown when the winner was forced to resign. Why?

Corky: She told everyone she loved animals, but who would have thought to take her literally?

  • The Daily Show started its "Thank You South Carolina" segment after a man from there received press attention for having sex with a horse after having already pled guilty to having had sex with the same horse. And they happened to discover this on the heels of the Sanford scandal.
  • Gonzo of The Muppet Show has an on-again, off-again relationship with both anthropomorphic Muppet hen as well as real cows and hens.
  • Referenced in Lexx: "It's all here. You have babes, boys, beasts, thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter, the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo-la-la, people to spank you, and sheep to go baa" - Schlemmi, Luvliner
  • One episode of QI has Stephen Fry ask, "What is the difference between a Carlisle Surprise, a Reverse Canterbury Delight, and a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" Welsh comedian Rob Brydon attacks Stephen for "institutionalized racism that is accepted when it's addressed at the Welsh," answers the last bit by saying you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff "a leisure center," then castigates the other panelists and the audience for laughing.
  • A characteristically bizarre subversion on House: a teenage boy came to the clinic asking for drugs to kill his sex drive, claiming it was because he was very attracted to cows and didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Turned out it was actually his hot stepmother he was attracted to. And he didn't want to admit that. So he pretended he was into cows. Okay.
    • Also, one time, House was talking with Thirteen and another female doctor in his office, while on his computer. The female doctor looks at the computer screen (which cannot be seen) and gets a noticeably squicked out expression. House asks her, "do you have a problem with the naked female form?" Thirteen then says "I just don't think she's used to seeing it spooning with the naked dolphin form." This being House, it was most likely a ploy to get them to go away faster. Probably.
    • In another episode, a clinic patient has a skin condition normally found in horses and related quadrupeds. When she says she's an actress, House jumps to certain conclusions about her "art." In fact, she is playing the Virgin Mary in a live-action Christmas pageant, in which she rides a donkey.
  • In Trailer Park Boys, Ricky randomly tries to make a joke about this to Julian, completely unrelated to what they were doing at the time.
  • Probably innumerable examples on Saturday Night Live, but two that stand out include a census worker interviewing an addled Christopher Walken, who reveals that his wife is a bobcat; and a spoof of daytime talk shows that send unruly teens to boot camps, in which Christina Ricci plays a girl whose mother catches her playing with the family dog, and is afraid that she will give birth to "biracial dog babies".
    • On one show, Woody Harrelson heads a trio of lonesome singing cowboys - one lyric being "And the horse starts to look good by the campfire..."
  • On Boy Meets World there is a Flash Forward to a potential future in which the whole gang had broken up and in this future Eric became an insane hermit living in the woods who married a moose. Hopefully it was a platonic marriage...
  • The Big Bang Theory gives us the following exchange:

Raj: I'm telling you dude, the only way to make you feel better about Penny going out with other guys, is for you to get back on the whores.
Howard: ... "horse".
Raj: What?
Howard: The phrase is "get back on the horse"... not "whores".
Raj: That's disgusting, dude!

  • A rather bizarre and unnerving example in the Power Rangers Turbo "Cassie's Best Friend" where the Monster of the Week could inflict a Baleful Polymorph curse on a victim, but had terrible aim, missing Cassie and hitting her dog, Jetson, resulting in Jetson becoming human. Calling himself "Jethro" he seemed to have something of a crush on Cassie, and was more than a little upset when he realized the change was wearing off. Granted, it didn't go further than casual dating, but still kind of creepy.


  • GWAR's "Fuckin' an Animal" fits this in as strict a sense as possible. Their song "Sexecutioner" does so a little bit more subtly.
  • Bob Rivers' "Dirty Deeds (Done with Sheep)" (a parody of an ACDC song).
  • "Weird Al" Yankovic. "Virus Alert". One of the dreaded features of the virus is that it will "make you physically attracted to sheep". Maybe not as bad as causing a major rift in time and space, but still...
    • The bickering couple in "Jerry Springer" have cheated on each other with (among others) her dog Woofie and his pet goat.

"That goat doesn't love you!"

  • From Tom Lehrer's introduction to his song "In Old Mexico": "His educational career began, interestingly enough, in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they.. caught him at it one day..."
  • From John Butler's "Hand of the Almighty"
    • - Now Ray was full aware/that some sheep were over there/and he knew them in the biblical sense!"
  • The many strange habits of Harald, in the Swedish song Haralds konstiga vanor, apparently include getting a little too friendly with sheep.
  • Related: One Welsh singer (a thirteen-year-old girl) had her album recalled so that they could alter the cover. Why? She was standing in a field with sheep. Nobody wanted the obvious jokes made.
  • The infamous Bawdy Song "The Good Ship Venus" has a verse about the ship's dog, Rover. You can pretty much guess what the pirate narrators do to the hound in question.
  • The Ivor Biggun song "Halfway Up Virginia" details the sexual exploits of a stereotypical hillbilly. The singer gleefully admits to having sex with 49 sheep, a mule, a golden retriever, a skunk, a woodchuck, an unspecified number of polecats, an unspecified number of raccoons, a hound dog, a groundhog, an opossum and pretty much anything that moves doesn't run away fast enough. He then makes the following statement:

And every last one is female,
‍'‍Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!

Eating armadillo is good
To bad it hurts your back
The animal's too short
That's why I prefer the goats

    • It should be noted that "eating" is a slang for, you know...
  • Many of Wesley Willis' songs deal with bestiality ("Suck a Cheetah's Dick", "Drink a Camel's Cum"). A schizophrenic, Willis believed that demons were tormenting him, and that the songs would disgust the demons enough to leave him alone.
  • The popular Ren Fair song Roll Your Leg Over features the lyric:

"Some people wonder why Scotsmen like sheep/ 'Tis only because we need something that deep."

All praise to Father Zeus,
He's a lecher on the loose,
He'll screw woman, goat or goose,
But he's good enough for me.

    • A popular SCA sing-along, "The Moose Song", extolled the virtues of (what else?) moose, and contrasts them with other animals who are inferior companions:

I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, though they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!

  • Modern Man's "Back into Cattle Again", a parody of "Back in the Saddle Again", tells the (first-person) story of a cowboy of indiscriminate tastes who nonetheless after much exploration has returned to his first love.

Oral Tradition, Folklore, Myths and Legends

  • The story of the Cretean Minotaur. Short version: Minos was a king who was competing with his brothers over who should rule Crete, so he prays to Poseidon to favor him. Poseidon accepts, sending him a beautiful white bull as a sign of his favor, on the condition Minos sacrifices it to him once he becomes king. But the bull is so beautiful, Minos can't make himself kill it, and sacrifices an ordinary bull. Naturally, Poseidon is really pissed, and curses Minos' wife Pasiphaë, making her fall in love with the bull. Minos still doesn't get the hint, and orders the master engineer Daedalus to craft a lifelike wooden cow that Pasiphaë can hide inside and, well, you get the idea here. (Ironically, that means the bull is more sensible than the humans here.) This only worsens the situation, as the bull becomes a feral, violent beast (becoming a nuisance until Hercules comes to deal with it as per one of his Labors) and Pasiphaë gives birth to the Minotaur, a beast that only eats human flesh, leading to the more-well-known part of the story with the Labyrinth and Theseus.
  • A number of rulers and other high-ups have been slandered by more or less fabricated accusations of zoophilia.
  • The Old Testament forbids shepherds from going out alone (making them leave in pairs) specifically to prevent this "abomination," and Exodus has a bit about those who lie down with beasts.
  • While it's not folklore per se, there is a long tradition of nations and cultures accusing their neighbors of sleeping with animals. This continues into the modern day. Consider the relationship between New Zealand and Australia or Scotland, England and Wales; in the U.S., the Midwest and the Deep South are the usual targets. For some reason it quite often seems to be sheep.
    • One of the standard jokes: "Country X, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous."
    • Another standard joke: "In Country X, they recently discovered another use for sheep. Wool!"
    • And "Why do CountryXers have sex on clifftops? The sheep push back harder."
    • In most countries, it's "Hey you, get off my cloud." But in Scotland, it's "Hey McLeod, get off my ewe!"
    • What do you call a sheep tethered to a lamppost in Cardiff? A rec centre.
    • Why do Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep started running when they heard a zipper.
    • In modern Russian folklore, people from Caucasus and Central Asia are referred to as "sheep/goat/donkey fuckers". A typical joke goes something like this: Why do Georgians have two donkeys in a stable, a larger and a smaller one? The larger one is for adults to "ride"; the smaller one is for children.
    • Hungarians are notorious for their elaborate cusswords and one of the nastiest goes something like "I wish you were ass-raped by a horse" (literally: "A horse's dick up your arse"). Another Hungarian expression is one that urges the other person to have oral sex with a horse. It means, roughly, "screw you". The latter is considered very vulgar, but the first can also be used jokingly, depending on social context.
    • Operation Desert Storm vintage: What do you call an Iraqi with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other? A pimp.
  • It's thought that Witches in their Sabbath had sex with demons in the form of animals, including Satan as a black goat.
  • When someone asks what career you want, mention marine biology. Go ahead, I dare you. Some people are under the delusion that people go into this profession want to do naughty things with fish, dolphins, and (of course) cephalopods. Needless to say, actual marine biologists (and people who actually want to be actual marine biologists) are not amused.
    • The same rule of thumb goes for the technical term for livestock farming - Animal Husbandry.

New Media

Professional Wrestling

  • In October 1999, The Godfather tried to offer his hoes to Mideon before a match. Mideon stated "I don't do hoes, but do you have any farm animals?" Note that Mideon's former gimmick is that of Phineas I. Godwinn, a pig farmer.
  • On a 2010 episode of TNA iMPACT!, Ric Flair made one of his infamous rambling promos, wherein he claimed to have had sex with Zenyatta. A race horse.


  • In an episode of Just a Minute recorded in Cardiff, one of the panelists was challenged for "deviating from the subject" because he was talking about sheep. He quickly responded "But sheep aren't considered a deviation in Wales."

Recorded and Stand Up Comedy

  • Cheech and Chong's skit "Hey Margaret" has the couple Harry (Chong) and Margaret (Cheech) watching a porno movie where, among other things, the lead actress has sex with a dog. Also, in "The Old Man In The Park", where the Old Man (Chong) tells the Punk (Cheech) that the Punk could be his son because "I used to fuck Buffalo. In fact, you look just like your momma."
  • One of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck" jokes is "If your parole states you can not own sheep".
  • Jim Gaffigan, in a hidden track at the end of the album "Doing My Time," plays a character who talks about how he is always reminded of fucking a donkey when he returns home. His excuse: "I was drunk and he mumbled something."
  • Ellen DeGeneres did a bit about folks objecting to gay marriage stating "next thing, people will be marrying goats" and wondering why they always go there first thing. "Mom, Dad...this is Billy."
  • Joe Rogan: "You don't fuck sheep because they're hot. You do it because they're that high and no one's looking. Or there's a guy with a camera and he's giving you money."
  • In Bob Saget's HBO Special That Ain't Right, Bob goes on a long riff to randomly-picked audience member Jared, warning him about the dangers of fucking various animals, including goats, ostriches, turtles, and porcupines.

Tabletop Games

  • Exalted features the Lunars, blessed of Luna and boon companions to the Solars. They generally have beast-like traits (including a "totem animal" they can change into at will), and with this comes the ability to breed Beastmen. Thing is, to do it, one of the parties has to be bestial, and the other party has to be humanoid... and the Lunars can be either.
  • The Gangrel clan sourcebook for Vampire: The Requiem has a historian claiming that the first Gangrel were made when barbarian kings had relations with animals, and were born of ancient sorcery playing on the twisted beings that emerged. Mind you, that may not be the truth (to put it mildly), but man, you can just see most of the clan walking out into sunlight if that turned out to be the truth, can't you?


  • Edward Albee's The Goat or Who Is Sylvia.
  • The Dauphin in Shakespeare's Henry V is rather disconcertingly fond of his horse:

Dauphin: I once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus: "Wonder of nature --"
Constable: I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress.
Dauphin: Then did they imitate that which I composed to my courser, for my horse is my mistress.

    • The dialogue continues in this vein for quite a while.
  • In Rimers of Eldritch, Skelly Manor first appears onstage with local boys baaing at him. Nothing explicit is stated and nothing is ever proven. It's used more to demonstrate Skelly's isolation from the town and how rumors move through it.
  • Played for tragedy in Our Breath is as Light as a Hummingbird's Spine, since there's no way to have sex with a bird. However, the main character does glue feathers and a beak onto a sex toy. (Decide for yourself whether that's Squick, unintentionally funny, or just as pathetic as it's supposed to be.)
  • The play Equus by Peter Schaffer concerns a young stablehand's issues with being virtually incapable to distinguish between affection for horses and sexual attraction, thanks to a screwed-up childhood. It being a drama piece, it's also pretty disturbing.
  • In Rock of Ages, Dennis Du Pree uses this trope to convince Stacee Jaxx to play at his bar.

Dennis: Remember the time we fucked that llama?

  • This Troper was involved in a variety show where this trope was used almost verbatim. In this skit, a man is trying to get into the gates of heaven. He was a philanthropist and devout Christian, and he isn't sure why he's being denied entry.

St Peter: Remember, God sees all.
Man: Then you know about the-
St Peter: Yep.
Man: And the-
St Peter: Yep.
Man: And that one time...
St Peter: Heh, we got that one on tape!
Man: But...but she was eighteen!
St Peter: Still a goat.

Video Games

"Being away from home and loved ones... can be a lonely life."

  • In No One Lives Forever, when advancing through the corridors of the Big Bad's base, you hear a man whispering love words to someone, something like: "Now we are all alone..." Then you open a door and find that man alone with a goat. The man says: "Oh, hi...um, how did this goat got in here?" You have the option of shooting them both.
    • Also, you find references to H.A.R.M. goons and their, ahem, “recreation” with sheep throughout the game.
  • From Fallout 3: The G.O.A.T. Whisperer.
    • From Fallout: New Vegas, you got Cook-cook, one of the fiends leaders. Flamethrower wielding pyromaniac, psychotic, rapist, goes berserk when you kill Queenee, his Brahmin. It's not stated outright, but heavily implied he screwed it.
  • In Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura, you can visit a brothel. Turn down the offer for a girl a few times, you get two. Turn that one down, you get... a sheep.
  • In Overlord, at one point you and your minions bust into the headquarters of a succubus-worshiping sex cult. Bust down one of the locked doors in the headquarters, and you'll find several cultists and a sheep.
  • In Black and White, at one point you're asked to get specific supplies to help a troupe of very poor singers finish building their boat (specifically, wood and food). However, you can also drop off various other things, including a sheep. This elicits the response "Ah, a sheep! Sheep have many uses... and the voyage is long...".
    • Ironically, if you drop off a woman, the response is much less enthusiastic.
      • They were likely trying to keep in theme with the time period and its superstitions. (Not that it wasn't merited, as you could always expect the ratio of men to outweigh the women. It was better to just ignore the problems such a situation could present.)
  • 'Assassin's Creed II has a mission where you deliver a message to a farmer, invoking Leviticus 18:23. You can guess what it refers to...
  • In the video game of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, there's a part where clicking on something brings up "goat porn", and then Eric Idle starts yelling about, "Hey, everyone, look here right now! This guy likes goats!"
  • Occurs within the first playable minute of Rogue Warrior:

Mission Control: What's your status?
Dick Marcinko: It's a total goatfuck!

    • As for what "goatfuck" means in Marcinko-ese, it means things have gone completely fubar.
  • In Mass Effect 2, if you try to talk to Mordin in the Normandy, you may get this exchange:

Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Mordin: Perhaps later. Trying to determine how Scale-itch got onto Normandy. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications...unpleasant...

  • Dragon Age: Origins has a brothel, where you can sleep with anything, anything. When told by the Madam to "Surprise Me" one of the random options has you waking up in a daze with a goat that looks at you funny.
  • Dragon Age II has a "Surprise Me" that ends in two nugs (some kind of rabbit/pig hybrid) that "avoid eye contact, trying to look busy".
  • Gothic has the annoying Mud, who follows you everywhere while telling annoying stories about himself. Among other things, he mentions that he was thrown in the prison colony for "liking animals too much".
    • One of the ways in which you can taunt the warrior Kharim is suggesting that his father was having "fun" with sheep. Kharim's reply is an embarrassed "well, there were rumors..."
  • One of the random conversations that NPCs can have in The Darkness is one NPC asking if he gave a moose a million dollars to have sex with him, would it work?

Guy 1: If I gave a moose a million dollars would it have sex with me?
Guy 2: Well it would have to some sort of genetically engineered smart moose for it to work.
Guy 1: Where could I find such a moose?
Guy 2: Sweden is open about sexuality so they probably allow bestiality as well.
Guy 1: Heh-heh...naughty Swedish mooses...

  • There is something of a Running Gag among the World of Warcraft fanbase about the possible origins of the Tauren race. This was codified by the WoW machinima rendering of The Internet Is for Porn, which concludes with the hilarious rebus: Human + Cow = Tauren.
    • One of the Steamy Romance Novels starts with the human protagonist about to engage in a threesome with a male and female Tauren. (And no, this is a not a case where A Threesome Is Hot.) The last line of readable text says, "The story goes on, but your good taste prevents you from reading it."
    • In an actual canon example; the night elves' goddess, Elune, who by all official accounts looks like a big glowing night elf woman, had an affair with the demigod Malorne, who's only known form was that of a giant(read, two hundred feet tall) stag. This resulted in the birth of Cenarius, who looked like a centaur with a night elf upper body and a stag lower body. Being that these are deities, this is justified; just look at the mythology examples above.
  • Red Dead Redemption is fond of this: a stranger mission (entitled "Who Are You To Judge?") involves returning a horse to its very affectionate owner, who has named the horse 'Lucy' and refers to her as his "girl". The horse thief who accompanies you on said mission comments that her "daddy kept goats". And lastly there's an advertisement in the newspaper for a publication called Sexing Livestock Quarterly. It sure is lonely out west...
  • In Tony Hawk's Underground, a police officer in Tampa, Florida pulls over your van for a busted tail light, expired license plate, and a "Cops push Mongo" bumper sticker, and your van gets impounded. While roaming the city later, you can find the same officer hiding behind a strip club standing behind a goat...
  • Fable III: When the player has the option of searching Depraved Bisexual Reaver's bedroom, you can find caged chickens in there.
  • Jagged Alliance 2 features the appropriately-named Hicks clan, an entire huge extended family of armed-to-the-teeth Corrupt Hicks. Talking to them hints at their pastimes. One is terrorizing the local city, the other is cow tipping...

Hick NPC: ...but what you don't hear is what you can do with the cows afterward.

  • More implied (or just unintentional) than direct, but Yamask is capable of breeding with Pokemon (who are the animals of the Pokemon world, of course) of the Amorphous or Mineral egg groups. Yamask were once human. Game Freak, ew. Just, ew.
    • Same game, same category, there's a rumor apparently backed by Hint of God that N Harmonia is the human son of a Pokemon. Said character is known to have a human father, therefore... Possibly subverted when one of the other sages mentions that Ghetsis might not actually be N's father... but then, who or what was?
      • Made even weirder by the fact that the #1 suspect for his Pokemon parent, Zoroark, does not belong to the Human-like egg group (despite being bipedal).
  • In the Dating Sim game HuniePop, going all the way with Momo (a Cat Girl) will get the player the "Bestiality" achievement, and Kyu will troll you by saying, "Bestiality, huh? Hey, not judging though. Gotta do what you gotta do." Although, exactly why Momo is considered "less" human than the other non-human girls in the game, though, is a mystery.

Web Comics

  • Tycho from Penny Arcade seems to have a...fondness for videos involving giraffes (and possibly ostriches as well).
    • It's the necks. They're slender.
    • Also this comic.
    • And then of course, there's... This...
      • That's not the only one, note that Max is the one who is the most visibly creeped out by Tycho.
  • And of course, Something*Positive had Monette and the koala... but in her defense, it wasn't so much bestialist tendencies as a combination of drunkenness and Really Getting Around.
    • And even now she is still trying to live it down; her girlfriend at one point mentions use of a koala mask during sex.
    • Not to mention that, when she starts gaining more fame as an actress, the studio made sure the Koala was kept out of the picture - by paying it off.
  • 8-Bit Theater: Red Mage. Animal Husbandry. That is all.

Black Mage: Why is that your answer for everything? How is that your answer for everything?!

Sora: Where do mermaids come from?
Ariel: Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should...

    • In addition, Larxene got a fortune blunt from Yuffie's Chinese restaurant which said "Small animals will bring you great happiness" and promptly added "... in bed!" Possibly not a genuine example, since adding "... in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes is a fairly well-known game, but...
  • Stef from User Friendly supposedly has a thing for Llamas. In fact, the strip repeatedly makes jokes about Llama porn...
  • There's a running gag in Brat Halla that Tyr's proclamations of loving animals to be taken as an admittance that he's a zoophile, to where Fenrir asked him not to get too close.
  • In DM of the Rings, the DM/Tolkien explains how the Rohirrim are such excellent riders. The players paraphrase it as "The guys with unnaturally close relations with their horses". Cue Gimli rolling a natural 1 on his diplomacy check...

Gimli: Tell me your name, horse-f
Aragorn: GIMLI!

  • Tomato from A Game of Fools is pretty heavily implied to swing this way, among many, many other bizarre fetishes.
  • Even the Furry Fandom gets in on this gag sometimes. Background information for Concession mentions that the Church of Gaia is looked down upon somewhat in-universe for its advocation of sex between furries and non-anthropomorphic animals. Artie's doctor is briefly mentioned to have a fetish for sharks, and after the incident with Chelsie Artie claims Joel has no right to judge him because of "that time you woke up with that feral dog".
  • In Scandinavia and The World, when discussing past crimes countries have been accused of, it's discovered that Sweden was arrested for zoophilia. In his defense, he was young, horny and it was a really cute horse.
    • Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. Somehow, they even have a child together, New South Wales. Norway's brain broke when he realized that.
    • In that same comic, Denmark expressed interest in banging a sheep too. In HIS defense, he was drunk.
  • In Keychain of Creation, building on the Exalted example above, Marena, an Anything That Moves fox-totem Lunar, is quizzed by renegade Deathknight Secret on how many people she's had sex with. Her response ends with the memorable line, "Define people."
  • Hank of Indefensible Positions named his horse Uni, but states that it's not short for Unicorn. "See, a unicorn is a horse with a magical horn. When I got to know this pony, I named her Unicu-" Fortunately, he's interrupted before he can finish, but he later makes a philosophical point by describing what it's like to have sex with a horse.
  • The now-wife of webcomic artist David Hopkins, creator of Jack, was allegedly stalked and severely harassed by a creepy ex-boyfriend who had boasted repeatedly to her of his ... misadventures ... involving the blowholes of beached dolphins. They had such problems with him they took out their frustrations by putting an Expy of him in the comic, condemned by Hell to be raped and otherwise assaulted by dolphins for eternity, and setting the language filter on the comic's forum to translate every instance of his first name to "Dolphinfucker".
  • Referenced in The Order of the Stick when the Oracle predicts his next death at the hands of a druid client and asks his friends to be ready with a Resurrection spell "when I tell him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion. Turns out giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd think."
  • Florence and Winston's relationship in Freefall isn't exactly this, but it's referenced in these terms a few times (most obviously when Winston remarks that it's inappropriate for a doctor to get involved with his patients, but even less appropriate for a veterinarian to do so). Given who the more proactive party is, it is also treated as another trope.
  • Katerina of Gunnerkrigg Court develops a mutual attraction with a boy named Alistair who is visiting the Court for a week. To make a long story short, he gets permanently turned into a bird at the end of that week. Now, this in itself is innocent enough; after all, she fell in love with Alistair while he was still human, and she didn't know anything about him turning into a bird until right when he was about to leave. But immediately after this whole arc, Katerina is later shown sharing with Antimony a picture of a "cute boy"—in an ornithological journal. She also seems to have an implied bird fetish in later strips.
  • This Oglaf strip.[context?]

Web Original

  • Victoria of The Twilight Chronicles is heavily hinted to have slept with Jacob's dog. It's more or less confirmed a few episodes later when Carlisle mentions that he left Mexico because Victoria wanted to bring dogs into their sex life.
  • Amaranth in Tales of MU is bound by her nature to have sex with intelligent beings who want it. She sends her goddess burnt offerings of reports on animal cognition in the hopes of having the definition expanded.
  • Possibly deconstructed by the short web series, There She Is; the manner of revulsion from the public caused by a relationship between a rabbit and a cat seems to be portrayed somewhere between Fantastic Racism and straight up bestiality. Especially deconstructed because the rationale behind such an extreme hatred is completely lost on the viewer.
    • If one can read their site (They're Korean), this is intentional.
  • Skippy's List of Things Not To Do In The US Army involves this at some level.
  • When The Cinema Snob reviewed Island Of Death, he couldn't get past the fact that the male character did, in fact, screw a goat.
  • Welshy, in order to prove he's British to Mike J, stated that the things he had screwed included a bagel, his sister, and a goat.
  • In an episode of What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?, Nash gets revolted at a guy who was caught screwing a dead squid, and in another he's shocked at an animal brothel.

Western Animation

  • South Park:
    • The Chickenlover episode.
    • And I think there was one where they visit Mexico, cheering at the sights. One of these is a donkey show.
    • And of course, Mr. Garrison, who's had sex with (at minimum) a pigeon and a pig.
    • Lets not get into their depiction of PETA...

Terrance: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
Terrance: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs.

  • Implied with Chef. He's looking through a book of photos of him and the many women he's made love too. When Cartman points to a picture of him naked with a goat and asks what he was doing he says it's nothing.
  • Troy McClure of The Simpsons has, as one of his reasons for his career's downturn, a scandal involving his "actions" at the Springfield Aquarium.

Legs: I thought you said Troy McClure was dead?
Fat Tony: No, what I said was he sleeps with the fishes. You see...
Legs: Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo...

  • Family Guy:
    • Quagmire has examples of this among his many, many other perversions. He seems to have actually sired an offspring with a giraffe.
    • Peter has also learned what the blowhole is not for, which is why he can never visit Sea World again.
    • And those weren't Brian's puppies after all. Seabreeze, you're a whore.
      • Oddly, they never tackled the inversion of Brian and his human girlfriend...until Brian traveled to an alternate universe where humans' and dogs' roles were reversed. Then his desire for human women became Squick.
      • Brian even had a brief affair with Lois when Peter was believed to be dead, the craziest part being that it had a positive impact on the entire family. Brian stopped drinking and got a job, Meg started to become more social, and Chris stated doing better in school. It clearly didn't make Peter look good.
    • The best moment involving Quagmire has got to be their drinking game on the episode where they become fishermen. The gang continues to come up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios for a sex drinking game where you take a shot if you've done it, which result in him being the only one getting drunk. A few even result in him taking multiple shots. Truly, a hero without limits.
    • And here's the video.

Joe: I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on! (takes drink)

  • In The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, when the evil inventor's brother gets a crush on Bubbie, a whale, Captain K'nuckles calls him a "disgusting weirdo."
    • In another episode Bubbie decides to show off a necklace Flapjack made her and two sailors cat call and compliment her.
  • Given it's setting and tone, Squidbillies is bound to have some of this.

Early: You wanna bang y'allself a goat? 'Cause the goat's dead, but, uh, we c'n still do this thang. Hell, I'll give you boys a discount!

    • The main characters are a family of squids. By definition any sex they have is either this or incest.
  • Robot Chicken: Well I guess it's about that time to tell you boys why I was fired from the zoo.
  • Averted in Drawn Together In "Mexican't Buy Me Love", in an attempt to earn money and get a flight home, Yoot attempts to put on a donkey show. The Donkey, in reply to that then says 'Even a filthy animal like myself has standards'
  • Carl of Aqua Teen Hunger Force is implied to have an interest in animals.

Carl: Did you get that link I sent you about the woman having sex with a bee?

  • A running joke on Archer, in which various characters comment about how much Malory loved her dog, Duchess. Malory keeps a photo of herself on her desk, lying naked with Duchess in a pose which suggests far more intimacy than the relationship a normal owner would have with their pet.
  • Futurama: "You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?!"
  • In episode 1 of the Netflix Castlevania cartoon, Trevor bumps into a farmer in a bar angry about walking in on the village idiot and his (the farmer's) goat. The farmer whomped the idiot with a shovel and he went blind, so according to the baron, he has to pay the guy.

Other Media

A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?"
The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me McGregor the dockbuilder? No, no."
The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me McGregor the fisherman? No, no."
The old man continued, "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me McGregor the farmer? No, no."
The old man starts to cry again, "But you screw one goat..."

  • The Trope Namer might be the following joke as well:
    • A Viking is standing on a mountain overlooking a seaside village and screaming his rage at the gods: - I have felled all the trees to make place for our village! But do the call me "Lumberjack"? - I have built all the houses of the village! But do they call me "Builder"? - I have built all the boats! But do they call me "Shipwright"? - I have caught enough fish to feed the village for a winter! But do they call me "Fisher"? - I have led Vikings into battle and brought them home, safe and rich! But do they call me "Warlord"? - Ye Gods, where is your justice? I have only once screwed just a single goat!
  • Theres a military joke about a young (Army/Marine) Lieutenant's first time in Iraq, with the punchline being his Sergeant explains that he was supposed to ride the camel into town to pay a hooker.
    • That's only the latest update of a joke that's at least as old as colonialism in the Middle East.
  • Another joke describes a young shepherd who, lonely with the long hours alone in the fields with his sheep, was horrified to find himself starting to cast sideways glances at his charges. He asked an older, more experienced shepherd for advice, and was told to train a vicious dog to attack him if he started disrobing around the sheep. He did so, but the loneliness continued, until one day he heard a woman screaming off in the distance. Tracking down its source, he found a beautiful maiden who had been chased up a tree by a pack of wolves. After the shepherd and his dog chased away the wolves, the maiden asked if there were anything she could do to repay him. "Actually there is," he replied. "Can you keep this dog distracted for about ten minutes?"
  • A similar joke goes: a tired traveler is crossing a vast desert on his camel, and thinks to himself, "I haven't had sex for days...I'll make do with this camel." However, the camel won't stay still to allow him to have sex with it. Suddenly, three beautiful women appear out of nowhere. "You look lost," one says. "Can I help you?" Yes, the traveler says. "Could you please help me hold down the camel?"
  • A gentleman stops by a biker bar and notices a large jar full of twenty dollar bills sitting on a high shelf. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender tells him that anyone who likes can put a twenty in the jar and then attempt to win the pot by completing three tasks: defeating the toughest biker in the bar in a fistfight, performing some amateur dentistry on the bartender's vicious dog which has a sore tooth, and sexually satisfying the bartender's hideously ugly nymphomaniac wife. The man drops a twenty in the jar, walks over to the biker and knocks him out with one punch. He strides confidently the back room, where the bartender hears his dog give out the most pitiful howl he's ever heard. The man returns and asks the bartender, "Okay, now where's that ugly lady with the sore tooth?"
    • There's a variation of that in Finland: A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian were visiting Greenland, and decided to have a wager of toughness: they had to drink a keg of vodka, kill a polar bear barehanded and make love to an Eskimo woman. The Swede and the Norwegian failed in humiliating ways, but the Finn drank down the entire keg and left off to find a polar bear. Hours later he comes back covered in tears and scratches and asks: "Nhow wheresh that Eshkhimo I wash shupposhed to kill?"
      • The same joke is told with a Texan who went to Alaska, and was given the same challenge.
    • There's also a variation in Brazil: Mussum of Os Trapalhões tried to join a gang and was told that, in order to join, he had to complete three tasks: drinking a whole bottle of (the troper isn't sure of the kind of alcoholic beverage) at once, cut off the tail of a lion caged near the bar where he and the gang were having the challenge, and kissing the ugly bartender ten times. He could do the tasks in any order he chose and started with the drinking challenge. Mussum then left the bar to search for the lion. Upon returned, he mentioned he had just finished kissing the lion and would now cut the woman's tail.
  • An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year. One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut. The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe's trust. "Why, what's the matter?" he stammered. "It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby... a white baby," said the chief. The anthropologist began to laugh. "Oh, is that all? No, that's just a classic case of albinism. It's caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and..." The chief didn't look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. "See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It's like that!" The chief was silent for a moment and said, "Listen, you don't talk about the sheep, and I won't talk about the baby."
  • A man goes to a bawdy house and asks the proprietor what "services" he can get for five dollars. "Five dollars?!" says the proprietor. "That's all I have," says the customer. "Very well," says the proprietor, "follow me." He takes the man to a small room containing nothing but a chicken. "What am I supposed to do with that?" asks the man. "Hey, you came here for sex," says the proprietor, "and you get what you pay for." He leaves, and the man, disgusted but desperate, has sex with the chicken. The next week, he comes back and asks what he can get for ten dollars. "Follow me," says the proprietor. He takes the customer to a room where a number of men are watching a peep show. The customer looks through a peephole and sees a man having sex with a sheep. He joins his fellow customers in derisive laughter. Nudging the man beside him, he says, "Boy, what a pathetic sicko that guy is, huh?" "That's nothing," says the other. "Last week there was a guy in there screwing a chicken."
  • A farmer, trying to improve his mind, takes up reading in his spare time. Every time he comes across an unfamiliar word, he jots it down so he can ask the minister, who's the most educated person in the village. One day he sees the minister walking by, waves him over, and hands him the list. "Reverend," he says, "can you tell me what these words mean?" The minister patiently defines them one by one, then blushes and hesitates as he comes to the last word. "Come on, Reverend," says the farmer. "Don't be bashful. What does 'bestiality' mean?" "Er...well," says the minister, "it refers to the forbidden and disgusting act of intimate relations with beasts, such as sheep, goats, and chickens." "Ewww," says the farmer. "Chickens?"
  • During the Bush Administration, First Lady Laura Bush told on television a joke about George milking a horse.
  • The three biggest lies in <<name the place you're insulting>>:
    • 1. I own my own car/truck/etc.
    • 2. I know who my dad is
    • 3. I was just helping that sheep over a fence.
  • In France, the French Foreign Legion is often jokingly associated with goats.
  • An American researcher comes to England to study farming. On his travels he hears about the practice of sheep fornication. He goes around Yorkshire asking farmers "Do you have intercourse with sheep?" As you can expect, the farmers are insulted, demanding he leave and slamming the door in his face. Just as he is about to give up, one man he asks looks around and answers "yes, and I'll answer your questions so long as you can promise you won't reveal anything about me". So the researcher asks "well...how do you do it?" The farmer replies "you put the back legs in your boots and the front legs on a wall and go from there." From there, the researcher goes to Wales, where he asks the same question. The first farmer he meets boldly responds "yes!". Again, the researcher asks how, and the Welshman responds "You put the back legs in your boots and the front legs over your shoulders and go from there". The researcher says "Thats interesting, because in Yorkshire a man said back legs in boots and front over a wall". "What?!" replies the Welshman, "No kissing?!"
  • A farmer went to psychiatrist, complaining that he was being sexually aroused by his horse. "I see", said the psychiatrist, "Is the horse a stallion or mare?" "Mare, of course!" answered the farmer angrily; "Do you take me for some kind of pervert?"
  • A tourist is visiting New Zealand. While driving in the countryside, he spots a farmer with his sheep. The tourist asks, "Are you shearing that sheep?" The farmer replies, "No, get your own. I'm not sharing her with anyone!"

And Turkey.

  1. Which might actually be a case of Ho Yay instead, given that Ryan was making said sound...
  2. pre-embrace Ennoia (Gangrel Antedeluvian)/her step-nephew.