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Christian Humber Reloaded: Difference between revisions
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It's hard to describe the plot of the story, not because it's intricate and involved, but because it's very... sporadic, to put it lightly. The first chapters describe a wolf whose family is killed by hunters, and who is subjected to experiments by scientists. Sort of [[The Secret of NIMH|Rats of NIMH]] by way of [[White Fang]], you might say. The last chapters describe a [[God Mode Sue|cyborg vampire wolf-Saiyan-Demon-Dragon-Horteka armed to the teeth with multiply-apocalyptic superpowers and weapons]] marching on Washington alongside [[Hellsing|the father of all vampires,]] [[Kingdom Hearts|a world-hopping mystic knight,]] [[Street Sharks|the hero's cyborg shark-man boyfriend]], and the hero's half-brother, [[Our Dragons Are Different|a miles-long dragon that can control the seasons]]. How did he get from point A to point B? By murdering billions of demons, monsters, aliens, soldiers, cops, scientists, and innocent bystanders [[Mega Crossover|from all across the multiverse]].
''Christian Humber Reloaded'' is a very strong contender for "worst fanfic ever written," aided by the fact that, unlike ''[[
A group of students at the school obtained a copy from Christian, which they then spread online for all to see with the sole intention of causing Humber humiliation. They were eventually forced by the school to publicly apologize for their harassment, but it was too late by then: they'd already unleashed the monstrous fanfic on us all and the name of Christian Humber had become infamous worldwide. Humber has recently revealed that he intended on posting the story eventually, though in his time on the internet he has yet to do so. More than anything else, the story serves as a very private look into the mind of a troubled youth.
The story, its [[Spork|"autopsy,"]] and its webcomic adaptation can be found [http://christianhumberreloaded.thecomicseries.com/ here]. A second story by the author [[Experiment 117
Update: The webcomic by [[Normalman]] has sadly come to an end after Humber's family filed a complaint, and many videos relating to Christian Humber Reloaded have been taken down. Further, his family has been harassed by what we must assume to be [[Too Dumb to Live|idiots.]] Don't be like that.
Now has a [[Christian Humber Reloaded
Not to be confused with another [[Sonichu|Christian]].
----
{{tropelist}}
* [[Acquired Poison Immunity]] -- Humber becomes immune to tranquilizers after several incidents where they unceremoniously knock him out.
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* [[Anachronism Stew]] -- The stories seem to take place in the modern day of Earth... even though the "modern day" is also concurrent with Starcraft (in the 2500's) and Warhammer 40,000 (in the... 40,000's) and has Halo (in the 2550's) in the apparent past.
* [[Anticlimax]] -- The final battle (So far as everyone knows) is Blade/Vash/Humber/Kibasu battling the villainous mastermind George W Bush and his Corrupted Self ...''with ease'', and then becomes the de-facto president of America and decides to bog-off to the Farplane.
* [[Anti
* [[Arc Words]]: "Ugly."
* [[Artificial Limbs]] - Vash gets a robotic limb to replace his arm. An arm which already had an [[Arm Cannon]], but then it got cut off. Or maybe the [[Arm Cannon]] was on his other arm and now he has two...? It's not really clear.
* [[The Atoner]]: Vash sometimes works to atone for his crimes, especially late in Part 1, but this is often quickly forgotten about.
* [[Author Appeal]]: [[Big OMG|Oh, god...]]
* [[Back
* [[Big No]]: Season-Bringer, after Vash's apparent death
* [[BFG]] -- From time to time Humber will forgo using his almighty magical swords to fight with completely mundane (albeit military-grade) firearms. These are often patterned after weapons from [[Doom]], but named after bits and pieces from [[Final Fantasy]] (e.g. the Thundaga Hellfragger rocket launcher and the '''M'''other '''o'''f All '''G'''uns).
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* [[Colonel Badass]] -- Humber leads the fight with his allies on many occasions, and ends up doing everything due to his insane power level. Particularly notable when he leads the Dark Templars, the Toa, [[My Friends and Zoidberg|and Season-Bringer]] against a billion-strong army of Zerg and winds up killing all of them but the Queen of Blades herself.
* [[Comic Book Time]] -- Humber should be pushing 70 by the time the known story ends and is at middle age for much of the story, and he's even older when you factor in he's part wolf, but this is never brought up in-story. Even decades-long time skips leave the world with more-or-less modern technology.
* [[Crapsack World]] -- Y'know the setting that gave the birth to [[Grimdark]]? That's canon in CHR. So is [[Doom]] and [[
* [[Curb Stomp Battle]] -- Nearly every fight Vash gets into, partly because the author does not describe them in much detail.
* [[Cutscene Incompetence]] -- The only time Humber is ever vulnerable or able to be beaten is when the protagonist of a video game would be vulnerable due to cutscene incompetence. Seriously, check 'em out!
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* [[Disproportionate Retribution]] -- Vash plans to "wipe out (Soku's) entire gene pool" for turning him in to the police. For the record, wiping out her gene pool would involve wiping out ''the entire human race.'' Apparently for him it just means her extended family.
* [[Don't Try This At Home]]: Vash, to the Toa, just before jumping into the middle of the Visoraks.
* [[Dual
* [[Establishing Character Moment]]: Vash has trouble being accepted by a wolf pack because they consider him a threat. Soon afterwards, he proves them right (by his own admission) by killing the hunters that killed most of the pack.
* [[
* [[Fate Worse Than Death]] -- In Part 3, a police officer who follows Vash through a portal to Metru Nui gets turned into a freak of nature.
* [[Forgotten Fallen Friend]] -- Sometimes Humber forgets his parents are supposed to be dead. Or that his friends are supposed to be dead. Or that his father's soul has just been destroyed, ''seconds after his father dies again,'' because he's too busy freaking out over the death of freaking ''Android 16 from DBZ.''
* [[Forgotten Phlebotinum]] -- For whatever reason Humber either forgets or deliberately fights without his full suite of powers. It's ambiguous as to if the author himself loses track of his powers, or if in-story Humber is [[Genre Savvy]] enough to know that lowballing his fights enables [[Eleventh
* [[Friend to All Children]] -- Humber at the end of Part I.
* [[Full
* [[Gadgeteer Genius]] -- "Genius" is debatable, but Humber assembles a few ridiculously overpowered and unlikely firearms to hunt ghouls just because Alucard said it couldn't be done.
* [[Gatling Good]]: Vash [[Dual
* [[Godzilla Threshold]] -- Just to remind you, this setting has roving bands of neo-Mongolian raider hordes, [[The Virus|the Zerg, the Tyranids, the Flood,]] [[The Heartless|the one-and-only Heartless, Fiends born from Unsent dead,]] and [[Zombie Apocalypse|hell-spawned zombies, Freak-Chip-spawned zombies,]] and flights of genocidal dragons and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|the Chicagoland gangsters that led them to a life of crime]] ALL HAPPENING '''SIMULTANEOUSLY.''' This is why anyone puts up with Humber at all. Really, just putting up with a few million civilian casualties every few years is downright mild compared to what would happen if one or all of the above got to tommyknock around unmolested.
* [[Gosh Dang It to Heck]] -- semi-[[Averted]]. Throughout most of the story, Humber is perfectly fine saying "fuck", "shit", et cetera...but constantly censors the word "b{{spoiler|itch}}". This seems to be because the headmaster of his school was a feminist, and often ranted about how offensive the word was.
* [[Half
* [[Heroes Prefer Swords]] -- [[
* [[Heroic Sociopath]] -- Oh, yes.
* [[Hero Insurance]] -- Vash manages to avoid any consequences for destroying a building to deal with a nuke as part of his convict and terrorist hunting job.
* [[
* [[
* [[Infinity
* [[Karma Houdini]] -- Vash eventually gets to the point where the police refuse to go after him because of how powerful he is.
* [[Large Ham]] -- Vash when he fights his enemies.
* [[Lego Genetics]] -- [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Literally.]] Humber is a wolf-saiyan-demon-dragon-Hordeka (from Bionicle, a Lego toyline) who may also have vampire powers {{spoiler|and has a quarter-Saiyan dragon half-brother}}.
* [[Lightning Bruiser]] -- Chridon is not only quite strong, but also ''[[Super Speed|faster]] [[Beyond the Impossible|than]] [[God Mode Sue|Vash]]''.
* [[Magic
* [[Magic Knight]] -- While more knightly than magical, Humber makes extensive use of supernatural abilities to compliment his melee combat. Kekanu and his family fight bare-handed as well as with magic spells powerful enough to capture Humber.
* [[Medieval Stasis]] -- Of a sort. The Earth seems to be stuck at modern tech despite being surrounded by higher-tech aliens, [[Human Aliens|some of them human,]] as well as being in contact with alternate dimensions with higher or at least more interesting tech.
* [[Mega Crossover]] -- In order of introduction: ''[[Trigun]]'', ''[[Dragonball Z]]'', ''[[Bionicle]]'', ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog]]'', ''[[Dawn of War]]'', ''[[Final Fantasy]] Unlimited'', ''[[Inuyasha]]'' (in the form of a white Shikon jewel smacking him in the head), ''[[
** Half the challenge is finding a franchise that's NOT been included. [[Street Sharks]], maybe, but the [[The Lancer|Lancer]]...
** In the chapter TRIGGER HAPPINESS TIME he uses a Samurai and an AIMS-20 from 007-Nightfire.
* [[Negative Continuity]] -- His parents die in the first few sentences, but they come back in the second chapter without so much as a nod to the beginning of the story. Yet, later on, they're dead again! ...sometimes!
** Not to mention his dead-sort-of-demon wolf-brother... thing.
* [[New Powers
** Sometimes even when the plot ''doesn't'' demand it. Memorably, Humber once read a prophecy in the sky predicting a "hero of light" would stomp some heartless monsters about ten seconds before someone phoned him about a bunch of Heartless in need of a hero to stomp 'em. Whaaaaa
* [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero]] -- While the "hero" part is questionable, Vash wasn't expecting that killing the demon dragon would start the Ying-Yang War.
* [[No Hugging, No Kissing]] -- Vash-Blade doesn't seem to have any sort of sex drive or romantic inclinations despite vaguely hinting that he had a fling with a couple of girls in the past. One of whom was a little Japanese girl.
* [[No Name Given]] -- The little girl and her father. He later meets up with [[Recycled Script|another little girl and her father]], but this time, the girl's name is revealed to be Soku.
* [[Noodle Incident]] -- Tons, including several that we are hypothetically witnessing. Usually invoked to explain why the Queen of Blades has his number or why Humber has Zero (from Megaman X)'s old armor.
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** Also, male dragons can [[Mister Seahorse|become pregnant.]]
* [[Planet Eris]] -- The entire universe has a bad case of the crazies.
* [[Playing
* [[Plot Induced Stupidity]] -- The only reason Humber loses at all is because he's rock bloody stupid. Most evident when he goes from killing an omnipotent incarnation of entropy and being nominated the judge of the dead to getting surprised and poisoned by robot spiders within ''three paragraphs'' of either event.
* [[Power Dyes Your Hair]] -- Vash's hair turns "white-silver-blue color" in Chaos Hunter Form.
* [[President Evil]] - The last enemy Vash fights is the President of the United States.
* [[Protagonist
* [[The Quincy Punk]] -- Humber's general attitude toward life. The generic "punk" style also shows up as the costume of choice for several of his alt modes: "he was wearing tattered chain paints, a torn black T-shirt, no shoes, a torn leather jacket, one ear pierced and he had a spiked necklace on..."
* [[Rated "M" for Manly]] -- It's a troubled teenager showing off his anger, what else were you expecting?
* [[Redshirt Army]] -- The Imperial Guard of Warhammer 40,000 ''launch a direct attack on the Eye Of Terror!''
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]] -- Nigh-constantly, and in fact, directly:
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* [[Scaled Up]] -- Vash turns into a dragon at the end of Part 5, a form that he must learn how to control.
* [[Science Is Bad]] -- Scientists killed his family. Humber later clarifies that he only hates science when it inconveniences him and doesn't like being experimented on, as he has no problem with cybernetic limbs and nuclear weapons.
* [[Sci
* [[Self-Destructive Charge]] -- Kekanu's family after Kithongo perishes in battle.
* [[Self
* [[Shoulder Cannon]] -- One is mounted on Chridon.
* [[Slobs Versus Snobs]] -- Later in the story, Humber and company descend on a party thrown by some "rich snobs" [[Informed Ability|who are never seen acting snobbish]]. Humber and company kill all of them, plus their hundreds of guards, and inflict over a trillion dollars (U.S. dollar or Spiran Gil?) of property damage. All in a day's work.
* [[Shout
* [[Special Guest]] -- A few characters, like Alucard from Hellsing, Android 16 from Dragonball Z, most of the cast of Final Fantasy X, and Zero from Megaman X, appear as what can only be described as guest stars in the ongoing story of Humber. Some just show up to deliver a few lines, hand over their iconic equipment/power, and leave (e.g. the Prince from Prince of Persia shows up to inform Humber that he's just absorbed the Sands of Time and then get freaked out by Sin's skin flakes attacking him and Humber).
* [[Spiritual Successor]] / [[Fan Sequel]]: Writing like Christian Humber is [[Rule of Fun|fun.]] There are numerous fanfics written in the style, usually written as one of Vashblade's numerous side adventures.
* [[Stupid Evil]]: Vash's taking Seymour and Yunalesca out of the Farplane, torturing them and leaving them not quite dead. Since he tends to fight to stop villains most of the time (if only because he thinks he's the only one allowed to kill people), this doesn't make sense for any of his goals. He also gets captured when he goes to check up on and laugh at the cop he turned into a freak of nature.
* [[Super
* [[Super Mode]] -- Humber has more superpowered modes than anybody in their right mind would ever need. On the low end, he can transform into any of his component "sides," ranging from a normal wolf to a Hordeka all the way to becoming a dragon or, most commonly, a Super Saiyan. He gains new super modes at the drop of a hat, extending to Kingdom Hearts' drive forms to [[
* [[Sword and Gun]] -- Vash commonly wields Tetsume and the Magun together.
* [[That Came Out Wrong]] -- "I killed her and if I let her live she would tell the people who are after me that I have a thing for children." Said to a bunch of little kids.
* [[Theme Music Power
* [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill]] "I was ready to give chaos a whole new meaning of the word "Overkill".
* [[This Is Something He's Got to Do Himself]]: Vash is told to stay out of the Toa's fight with the leader of the Visoraks, and does so until he sees them losing.
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* [[Time Travel]] -- He then proceeds to mess up history with little to no consequences for his actions, and comes even more powerful for it. His judicious use of cloning technology still keeps a wide-open plot hole for several important events, unsurprisingly.
* [[Too Dumb to Live]] -- Vash's dog arena handler, who reaches in to pet him despite having raised him as a vicious fighting dog.
* [[Took a Level
* [[Took a Level
* [[Training
* [[Trope Overdosed]]: Christian Humber Reloaded is every trope from every series crossed over (except for the huggy kissy girly parts) stacked on top of each other and thickly iced with sheer batshit insanity to create a layer cake of literary terror.
* [[Unfamiliar Ceiling]] -- Twice near the beginning, first in the village, then the Toa. This happens to him a ''lot,'' as his more epic battles tend to leave Vashblade arbitrarily hyper-damaged and thus in need of recuperation.
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* [[Weaksauce Weakness]] -- Humber is vulnerable to [[Standard Status Effects|paralysis magic.]] That's right, he's weak against a [[Useless Useful Spell]]!
* [[Unstoppable Rage]] -- Part of his powering-up procedure is to GO INSANE AND LOSE CONTROL OF HIS ACTIONS!
* [[Year Inside, Hour Outside]] -- The Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Vash has 10 days before the start of the Ying-Yang war, so he uses the chamber to train for 10 years.
* [[You Gotta Have Blue Hair]] -- Taken to extremes with Humber's super forms, including one with "gold-blue-silver-white hair."
* [[You Fail Biology Forever]] -- Season-Bringer is a male dragon. When we first meet him, he's pregnant. Also, wolves apparently have a human form, and can talk.
** Right off the bat, and he references [[
Tropes associated with the webcomic
* [[Acceptable Targets]] -- Jokingly invoked in the commentary On some of Soku's friends, whom Vash killed.
{{quote|
* [[Adaptation Expansion]] -- The webcomic often adds dialogue and expands upon scenes that were only touched upon in a sentence or two, such as Humber's early time in prison.
* [[Better Than a Bare Bulb]] -- This strip does quite a bit of [[Lampshade Hanging]], particularly for some of [[New Powers
* [[Crossover]] -- With ''[[
* [[Dual
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: In the webcomic. Vash may have no problem with mass murder, but he doesn't like the idea of making fun of Christian Humber, as shown in a brief scene at the end of Part 1.
* [[Hotblooded Sideburns]] -- Vash in the webcomic.
* [[Littlest Cancer Patient]] -- Ricky.
* [[Orphaned Series]] -- The author of the webcomic stopped work on it after the first chapter of the second part on the request of Humber and his family.
* [[Red Eyes, Take Warning]] -- Webcomic only, but highly apropos.
* [[Power Dyes Your Hair]] -- Vash's silver/gold hair becomes gold in Super Saiyan Mode.
* [[Schedule Slip]] -- There is often a fairly lengthy gap between updates, causing some of the webcomic's detractors to note that it would perhaps have covered more ground if it had been more frequently updated.
* [[Sean Connery Is About to Shoot You]] -- Chapter 15's title page.
* [[Shout
* [[Spinning Paper]]: Two papers are shown concerning the effects Vash's hunter killing has on the populace.
* [[Twofer Token Minority]] -- The kids Vash plays with [[Crosses the Line Twice|are a combination of extremely stereotypical behavior for their races and token disabilities]].
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[[Category:Christian Humber Reloaded]]
[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Crossover Fanfic]]
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