Console RPG Cliches 1 to 24: Difference between revisions

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Back to [[The Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches]]

#'''[[Good Morning Crono|Sleepyhead Rule]]:''' ''The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.''

#'''[[Good Morning, Crono|Sleepyhead Rule]]:''' ''The teenaged male lead will begin the first day of the game by oversleeping, being woken up by his mother, and being reminded that he's slept in so late he missed meeting his girlfriend.''

#'''[[Doomed Hometown|"No! My beloved peasant village!"]]:''' ''The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.''

#'''[[The Dulcinea Effect|Thinking With The Wrong Head]] ([[Lunar|Hiro]] Rule):''' ''No matter what they are accused of or [[Mysterious Waif|how mysterious their origins]], the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl they met three seconds ago.''

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#'''[[Logan's Run]] [[Competence Zone|Rule]]:''' ''RPG characters are young. [[Kid Hero|Very young]]. The average age seems to be 15, unless the character is a decorated and battle-hardened soldier, in which case he might even be as old as 18. Such teenagers often have [[Instant Expert|skills with multiple weapons and magic, years of experience]], and never ever worry about their parents telling them to come home from adventuring before bedtime. By contrast, characters more than twenty-two years old will cheerfully refer to themselves as washed-up old fogies and be eager to make room for the younger generation.'' (See also [[Most Writers Are Adults]])

#'''[[Parental Abandonment|Single Parent Rule]]:''' ''RPG characters with two living parents are almost unheard of. As a general rule, male characters will only have a mother, and female characters will only have a father. The [[Missing Mom|missing]] [[Disappeared Dad|parent]] either vanished mysteriously and traumatically several years ago or is never referred to at all. Frequently the main character's surviving parent will also [[The Plot Reaper|meet an awkward end just after the story begins]], thus [[Conveniently an Orphan|freeing him of inconvenient filial obligations]].''

#'''[[Only One Name|Some Call Me...]] [[Some Call Me Tim|Tim?]]''' ''Good guys will only have [[First Name Basis|first names]], and bad guys will only have [[Last Name Basis|last names]]. Any bad guy who only has a first name will [[Heel Face Turn|become a good guy]] at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be [[All There in the Manual|mentioned in the manual]] but they will never be referred to in the story.''

#'''[[Only One Name|Some Call Me...]] [[Some Call Me... Tim|Tim?]]''' ''Good guys will only have [[First-Name Basis|first names]], and bad guys will only have [[Last-Name Basis|last names]]. Any bad guy who only has a first name will [[Heel Face Turn|become a good guy]] at some point in the game. Good guys' last names may be [[All There in the Manual|mentioned in the manual]] but they will never be referred to in the story.''

#'''[[Nominal Importance|Nominal Rule]]:''' ''Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are [[Everyone Calls Him Barkeep|referred to as a part of a possessive noun]] ("[[Chrono Trigger (Video Game)|Crono's]] Mom") then you are superfluous.'' <ref>Rather ironically, the example they used has a name. It was excised in translation.</ref>

#'''[[Nominal Importance|Nominal Rule]]:''' ''Any character who actually has a name is important in some way and must be sought out. However, if you are [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"|referred to as a part of a possessive noun]] ("[[Chrono Trigger (Video Game)|Crono's]] Mom") then you are superfluous.'' <ref>Rather ironically, the example they used has a name. It was excised in translation.</ref>

#'''[[Science Is Bad|Luddite Rule]] (or, [[George Lucas]] Rule):''' ''Speaking of which, technology is inherently evil and is the exclusive province of the Bad Guys. They're the ones with the [[Schizo Tech|robots, factories, cyberpunk megalopolises and floating battle stations]], while the Good Guys live in [[Arcadia|small villages in peaceful harmony with nature]]. (Although somehow your guns and/or heavily armed airships are exempted from this.)''

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#'''[[Impoverished Patrician|Poor Little Rich Hero]] ([[Thousand Arms|Meis]] Rule):''' ''If the hero comes from a rich and powerful family, it will have fallen on hard times and be broke and destitute by the time the game actually starts.''

#'''[[Anime Hair|The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God]] ([[Final Fantasy VII|Cloud]] Rule):''' ''The more [[Improbable Hairstyle|outrageous his hairstyle]], the more important a male character is to the story.''

#'''[[Thief|Garrett's]] [[Kleptomaniac Hero|Principle]]:''' ''Let's not mince words: you're a thief. [[Swiss Cheese Security|You can walk into just about anybody's house]] [[Your Door Was Open|like the door wasn't even locked.]] You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down ([[~~Eight~~ Bit Theater (Webcomic)|or on fire]]) is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, [[Shoplift and Die|this never works in stores]].''

#'''[[Thief|Garrett's]] [[Kleptomaniac Hero|Principle]]:''' ''Let's not mince words: you're a thief. [[Swiss Cheese Security|You can walk into just about anybody's house]] [[Your Door Was Open|like the door wasn't even locked.]] You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down ([[8-Bit Theater (Webcomic)|or on fire]]) is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, [[Shoplift and Die|this never works in stores]].''

#'''Hey, I Know You!''' You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members:

** [[Rebellious Princess|The spunky princess]] who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero.

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** The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil [[Long Haired Pretty Boy|long-haired prettyboy]] who [[Big Bad|may]] or [[The Dragon|may not]] be the ultimate villain.

** The villain's loyal [[The Dragon|right-hand man]], who comes in two versions: [[The Imp|humorously incompetent]] or [[Implacable Man|annoyingly persistent]].

** The villain's [[Femme Fatale|attractive female henchman]], who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, [[Mad ~~Scientists~~ Beautiful Daughter|fallen in love with the hero]].

** The villain's [[Femme Fatale|attractive female henchman]], who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, [[Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter|fallen in love with the hero]].

** Your former ally who [[Not Quite Dead|supposedly "died"]] and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she [[Forgotten Friend New Foe|shows up again on the villain's side]] and full of [[Wangst|bitterness]].

** The [[Worthy Opponent|irritatingly honorable foe]] whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either [[Redemption Equals Death|nobly sacrifices himself]] or [[Defector From Decadence|joins your party]].

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** [[Children Are Innocent|A group of small children playing hide-and-seek]].

** The [[Reasonable Authority Figure|wise and noble captain/king/high priest]].

** The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's [[Evil Chancellor|splutteringly evil second-in-command]]. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he [[Et Tu Brute|betrays everyone to the forces of badness]].

** The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's [[Evil Chancellor|splutteringly evil second-in-command]]. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he [[Et Tu, Brute?|betrays everyone to the forces of badness]].

** The [[Workaholic|NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job]] and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him.

** The (adult) NPC who has [[Serious Business|nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby]].

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#'''[[Final Fantasy VII|Aeris's]] Corollary:''' ''Just as the main male character will always use a sword or a variant of a sword, the main female character will always use a [[Simple Staff|rod or a staff of some sort]].''

#'''[[MacGyver]] [[Improbable Weapon User|Rule]]:''' ''Other than for the protagonists, your choice of weapons is not limited to the prosaic guns, clubs, or swords. Given appropriate skills, you can cut a bloody swath across the continent using [[Weapons Kitchen Sink|gloves, combs, umbrellas, megaphones, dictionaries, sketching tablets]] -- you name it, you can kill with it. Even better, no matter how surreal your choice of armament, every store you pass will just happen to [[Sorting Algorithm of Weapon Effectiveness|stock an even better model of it]] for a very reasonable price. Who else is running around the world killing people with an [[Parasol of Pain|umbrella]]?''

#'''O Brother, Where Art Thou? ([[Grandia II|Melfice]] Rule):''' ''If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will [[Aloof Big Brother|also be male]] and will [[Cain and Abel|turn out to be one of the major villains]]. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be [[Distressed Damsel|kidnapped and held hostage by the villains]].'' (A special version of the [[Theory of Narrative Causality]]; related to [[Luke I Am Your Father]] and [[Long Lost Sibling]])

#'''O Brother, Where Art Thou? ([[Grandia II|Melfice]] Rule):''' ''If the male hero has an older sibling, the sibling will [[Aloof Big Brother|also be male]] and will [[Cain and Abel|turn out to be one of the major villains]]. If the hero has a younger sibling, the sibling will be female and will be [[Distressed Damsel|kidnapped and held hostage by the villains]].'' (A special version of the [[Theory of Narrative Causality]]; related to [[Luke, I Am Your Father]] and [[Long Lost Sibling]])

#'''[[We Buy Anything|Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress]]:''' ''Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will [[Lost Forever|never see the item again]] no matter what.'' (Related to [[We Buy Anything]]. Not related to [[Adam Smith Hates Your Guts]]... but he does, and would like you to know that.)

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