Conspiracy Theorist/Quotes: Difference between revisions

{{quote| ''"Deb. I'm about to reveal something that... I'm putting my life on the line. But the people, the people of this city and this country and this planet, they have the right to know this, do you understand? This is serious. There are a lot of organizations who would do anything in their power to keep this a secret. Deb, Deb, this is really serious now, can I finish? All right. Everyone knows they've got cameras at every stoplight so the government can keep tabs on our comings and goings. But did you know that they then sold access to their data bases to [[The Illuminati]], who has been using that information to compile a list of the most frequently traveled routes and then opening new locations of their well-known chain of coffee houses in the most profitable locations? And did you also know that they use those funds to suppress fusion and solar power? Well they, the Illuminati, control all the world's energy, and, because they monitor all of our energy usage, they can tell who is not watching television and therefore know who is not receiving the subliminal messages that they send to keep the sheep putting their money in banks away from their secret headquarters, a.k.a. Wyoming. As a matter of fact, and again I shouldn't be talking about this, but I believe that it's everybody's right to know that recycling is a myth. All that they do with those bottles and cans is [[Paranoia Fuel|collect DNA samples from your saliva, so that they can clone you]]. And train your clone to [[Kill and Replace|assassinate you and assume your identity]], should you go poking your nose into the whole global warming business."''}}

{{quote| ''Far from being a paranoid or a determinist, the conspiracy analyst is a praxeologist; that is, he believes that people act purposively, that they make conscious choices to employ means in order to arrive at goals. Hence, if a steel tariff is passed, he assumes that the steel industry lobbied for it; if a public works project is created, he hypothesizes that it was promoted by an alliance of construction firms and unions who enjoyed public works contracts, and bureaucrats who expanded their jobs and incomes. It is the [[Dying Like Animals|opponents of "conspiracy" analysis]] who profess to believe that all events- at least in government -are random and unplanned, and that therefore people do not engage in purposive choice and planning.''}}

'''[[The Question]]''': "Topically applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It does render teeth detectable by [[Spy Satellite]]!"<br />

'''Torture Technician''': "Tell me what you know!"<br />

'''Torture Technician''': "Tell me what you know!"<br />

'''The Question''': "There ''was'' a [[Bullets Do Not Work That Way|magic bullet]]. It was forged by [[The Illuminati|Illuminati]] mystics to prevent us from learning the [[Who Shot JFK?|truth]]!"|''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'', "Question Authority"}}

{{quote|'''Zeke''': "Look, I'm being serious man, now DARPA is the mother-load of black-ops crap. If she's in with those clowns, you better watch out, son."<br />

{{quote|"The powers that be are in fact watching you at all hours and tracking your every move, but only because they're hoping you'll slip on the ice and drop your groceries again."|''[[The Onion]]''}}

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