Cow Tools: Difference between revisions

{{quote|''"What is the meaning of Cow Tools? What is the meaning of life?"''|'''Newspaper reader''', ''The Prehistory of the [[Far Side]]''}}

** Parodies like ''[[Twisted ToyfareToyFare TheaterTheatre]]'' have a ball with this. "Help me lift this giant piece of Kirby-esque machinery!"

== [[FanficFan Works]] ==

* In ''[[Fanf Fic/The Heart Series|All's Fine that Ends Okay]]'', Kiku is sent a mysterious object which does absolutely nothing {{spoiler|but turn Hercules and Sadiq -- and ''only'' them -- invisible.}} After that arc is resolved, it doesn't really do anything else, and no one actually figures out what it is or how it works.

* Tia Dalma's hut in ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]|Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest]]'' is stuffed full of voodoo-related Cow Tools. There's so many that the one [[Chekhov's Gun]] among them ({{spoiler|Barbossa's}} boots) is easily missed.

** Also a subversion in ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]'': the scene where Norrington reveals Jack Sparrow to be a pirate, he goes through Jack's seemingly only earthly possessions, which include a pistol with only one shot, a compass that doesn't point north, and a relatively normal sword. It seems to be a rather pathetic assortment of Cow Tools, however, over the course of the series, all of them end up being used. Ironically, the only item that ostensibly seemed to be of any practical use, the sword, was the least relevant to the series overall. The pistol and the compass prove to be highly significant [[Chekhov's Gun|Chekhov's guns]] in the first movie, and the sequels, respectively.

* Dr. Orin Scrivello's rather painful-looking dentist's tools in ''[[Little Shop of Horrors (film)|Little Shop of Horrors]]'' certainly qualify for this.

** They made a reappearance in Tim Burton's ''[[Batman (film)|Batman]]'' as the plastic surgeon's equipment, too. And were [[Lampshaded]] with his forlorn "You see what I have to work with..." That was an [[Actor Allusion]], as [[Jack Nicholson]] appeared in [[The Little Shop of Horrors|the original ''Little Shop'']].

* Famously [[Lampshaded]] in ''[[The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension]]'', where the labs are full of Cow Tools. "What's that watermelon doing there?" [in a hydraulic press of some sort]. "I'll explain later."

** [[Easter Egg|In -universe]], it was an experiment by the Banzai Institute on how to treat food so as to be easily airdropped into famine-starved countries without damaging the food (by making it bounce or resist crushing; the experiment was abandoned when someone realized that any food that could survive an airdrop would be ''too tough to eat''). [[DVD Bonus Content|Behind The Scenes]], it was explicitly an attempt at [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]] on a production which had been besieged by meaningless [[Executive Meddling]] (including a screaming [[Flame War]] over whether Buckaroo would be allowed to wear ''[[Red Scare|red-framed]]'' glasses onscreen). The director and staff put the watermelon in, with no attempt to explain it, to see if they had finally fatigued the executives' supervision.

* Parodied in ''[[Airplane!|Airplane II: The Sequel]]'', where two officers on a space station puzzle over what a particular Cow Tool is for.

* In [[Spider Robinson]]'s ''[[Lady Slings The Booze]]'', the narrator, a [[Private Detective]] specifically [[Lampshadeslampshade]]s the fact that in his profession, it is vitally important to be able to accurately observe and describe whatever he sees. He then enters the laboratory of the resident [[Mad Scientist]], which he is only able to describe as "''a rectangular solid filled with stuff'', to his great chargin."

* In ''[[The Voyage of the Dawn Treader]]'', we see some stuff like this in Coriakin's lair. The most prominent example is the Bearded Glass, which is...well...[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|a mirror with a beard attached]]. When someone passes, their reflected face looks like that of a bearded weirdo jumping out of the shadows. It may serve some purpose, or Coriakin may have simply put it there to prank what few visitors he gets. Even [[C. S. Lewis|CS Lewis]] says he doesn't know its purpose.

** [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] by a joke in ''[[Airplane!|Airplane II: The Sequel]]'', where William Shatner's character is annoyed by a big fancy machine looking like something out of ''Star Trek'' that doesn't actually ''do'' anything.

* Lampshaded, used straitstraight ''and'' subverted in the laboratory where Galina Sergeivna works in the russianRussian comedy "Series/Papa''[[Daddy's Daughters]]''." Often they will be doing serious work, sometimes brewing tea or vodka. but most of the time it is just bubbling water colors.

* Lots of the items stocked at Obscura, the weird antiques shop on ''[[Oddities]]'', consistsconsist of gadgets that probably qualified as Cow Tools even when they were brand-new, and certainly do now that they're long-obsolete.

* ''[["The Marvellous Toy]]''", written by Tom Paxton and most famously performed by [[Peter, Paul Andand Mary]], is about a Cow Tool toy''Toy'':

{{quote|''It went "Zip!" when it moved''

''And "Pop!" when it stopped''

''And "Whirr!" when it stood still.''

''I never knew just what it was''

''And I guess I never will. ''}}

* The 2E''[[Dungeons D&D Dragons]]'' Second Edition supplement ''Arms & Equipment Guide'' included a description of tinker gnome "armor", a full suit of leather with so many assorted Cow Tools [[Utility Belt|affixed to its every surface]] that it functioned like studded leather armor.

* Both Dr. Kleiner's and Dr. Vance's labs in ''[[Half Life]]|Half Life 2]]''. The former has a working mini-teleporter among the other seemingly random devices. The latter has a strange machine that sends visible rays through an object (possibly another Xen sample) which can be rotated with the controls on the panel, although nothing really happens. This is made even more strange by the fact that, during the lengthy break in action where you're expected to explore the lab, Dr. Vance specifically invites you to have a look at it, as if it were something important.

** Watermelons also appear in the oddest places. A ''[[Buckaroo Banzai]]'' homage?

* ''[[Fallout]]''{{'}}s ''Mothership Zeta''. The shelves of the interior corridors of the titular ship from Fallout 3's final expansion are adorned with all varieties of Cow Tools.

* ''[[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (video game)|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]'' had the "[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|Thing Your Aunt Gave You that You Don't Know What it Is]]." {{spoiler|It can be a [[Game Breaker]] if you figure out that it CAN do something.}}

* Sigil in ''[[Planescape: Torment]]'' is jam-packed with odd-looking buildings, twisted sculptures, and bizarre devices that you have no idea what they're for. You can click on them to get a description. Many of them will then say "You have no idea what this is for."

* In the defunct web comic ''[[Commedia 2X00]]'', Lord only knows what half the stuff in [httphttps://web.archive.org/web/20180801170850/https://commedia2x00.wordpress.com/ Dottore's lab] do; he's got a jukebox that plays Wagner to help him think, but that's about it. The storage-boxes in the background when Columbina goes to the storage basement are full out shout-outs to famous technobabble, including turbo-encabulators, [[blinkenlights]], and vgrep scanners.

* In ''[[Thundercats 2011|ThunderCats (2011 series)]]|the 2011 ''ThunderCats'']], Lion-O introduces new friend Cheetara to the shop of Jorma, his [[Friend in the Black Market]]. His shop is stuffed with oddball wares, including a [[Chekhov's Gun]] [[Black Box]], and an arm from a race of [[Cute Machines]] introduced later.

* Those annoying Netgear routerflashing blue flashing lights on Netgear routers. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x706yCCTyO0&feature=related You know what they are].

* Half the buttons on yourany given remote control.