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Once more for old times sake... '''''WATCH OUT FOR SPOILERS!'''''
== City Watch ==
=== Commander Samuel Vimes ===
Head of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and a hardened copper to the bone. His tenure as captain of the Night Watch came while the Guilds were on the rise and the Watch was in decline, and this combined with his natural cynicism drove him to drink. However, after seizing a series of opportunities to save the city, he unexpectedly found himself moving up in the world, starting with his marriage to the wealthy socialite and swamp-dragon fancier Sybil Ramkin and ending up with Vimes the Commander of a revitalized City Watch and receiving two titles (first his promotion to Commander coming with a knighthood, later given the title of Duke of Ankh in ''[[
▲Head of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and a hardened copper to the bone. His tenure as captain of the Night Watch came while the Guilds were on the rise and the Watch was in decline, and this combined with his natural cynicism drove him to drink. However, after seizing a series of opportunities to save the city, he unexpectedly found himself moving up in the world, starting with his marriage to the wealthy socialite and swamp-dragon fancier Sybil Ramkin and ending up with Vimes the Commander of a revitalized City Watch and receiving two titles (first his promotion to Commander coming with a knighthood, later given the title of Duke of Ankh in ''[[Discworld/Jingo|Jingo]]'' by Lord Vetinari in recognition of his accomplishments as commander of the Watch). He is also a truly incredible [[Badass]].
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* [[Addiction Displacement]]: From alcohol to tobacco.
* [[The Alcoholic]]: In ''[[
* [[The Anti-Nihilist]]: If there's no justice in the cold, uncaring universe, he's damn well going to shove some where the sun does not shine.
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh, Commander of the City Watch, Blackboard Monitor.
** Although, [[
*** In ''[[
{{quote|Lady Sybil: "Yes, Sam, the highest honor that the King of the Dwarfs can bestow. {{spoiler|Blackboard Monitor Vimes: one who can erase the writings, somebody who can rub out what is there.}}}}
* [[Authority Equals Asskicking]]
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** [[Badass in Charge]]
** [[Badass Normal]]
*** As of ''[[
** [[Four-Star Badass]]: In the later books.
** [[The Determinator]]: To the point where, in ''[[
** {{spoiler|"Ancient" in this case meaning ''older than the created universe''.}}
** He did this ''without realizing it!'' Plus, Vetinari and his chief clerk had guessed even odds of this happening ahead of time.
** In ''[[
* {{spoiler|[[Casting a Shadow]]}}: As of ''[[
* [[Combat Pragmatist]]: Learned from his mentor Sergeant John Keel... {{spoiler|in one timeline, at least}}.
* [[Comic Book Fantasy Casting]]: Paul Kidby draws Vimes as Clint Eastwood. Melvyn Grant draws him as Pete Postlethwaite, who Pratchett reportedly would prefer.
* [[Cowboy Cop]]: Has been asked to [[Turn in Your Badge|turn in his badge]] a couple times because his investigations have upset the wrong people.
* [[Crazy Prepared]]: His home is liberally strewn with booby-traps to catch any Assassin trying to collect on a contract for his head. The effectiveness of these traps is part of the reason why {{spoiler|the Assassin's Guild refuses to take contracts out on him anymore.}}
* [[The Cynic]]: In ''[[
* [[Da Chief]]: Combines with [[Cowboy Cop]] in very strange ways. As Vetinari put it:
{{quote|"I have noted before that you have a definite anti-authoritarian streak, Commander."
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"Sir?"
"That's practically Zen." }}
* [[Dark Is Not Evil]]: Darkness is something of a running theme with Vimes, and it gets rather more literal in ''[[
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]
* [[Disappeared Dad]]: Heavily implied to have had one in ''[[
* [[Discriminate and Switch]]: His main objection to Angua joining the Watch is that she's a w{{spoiler|erewolf}}. This, in conjunction with his alcoholism, is why Angua has a ''very'' low opinion of him for most of ''[[
* [[Drowning My Sorrows]]: Well, until his wife put a stop to it.
* [[Enemy Within]]: Less blatant than usual with this trope, The Beast is Vimes' very own inner [[Shadow Archetype]], containing all of the mindless rage and animalistic instinct that simmers within Vimes. There's even a bit of [[Super-Powered Evil Side]] in there whenever Vimes "lets The Beast off its chain."
** And full-on when {{spoiler|he's infected by the Summoning Dark in ''[[
* [[The Fettered]]: The source of his [[Determinator]] willpower is his unwavering belief in justice and laws.
* [[Go-Karting with Bowser]]: As of ''[[
** {{spoiler|It's a spirit of vengeance. [[Fridge Brilliance|Of course it'd like someone whose job it is to track down criminals]].}}
* [[Good Is Not Nice]]: He's a good person, but is taciturn and short-tempered. Although the fact that he decided to stay good instead of being nice (which is pretty well near mutually exclusive in the pre-Carrot Night Watch) is something that can be attributed to how good he is really.
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* [[Heroic Willpower]]: Walking embodiment of it.
* [[Happily Married]]: To Sybil. True, he becomes a [[Henpecked Husband]] in some ways, but he's so in love with her (as said henpecking is nearly always to his benefit) he wouldn't have it any other way.
* [[He Who Fights Monsters]]: Vimes spends half his life avoiding this trope through sheer force of will. {{spoiler|It's implied in [[
* [[Inter Class Romance]]: Captain Sam Vimes and Lady Sybil Ramkin (subsequently Sir Samuel and Lady Sybil Vimes). The resultant class dynamics lead to Vimes being seen as "a jumped-up copper to the nobs, and a nob to the rest".
* [[Knight in Sour Armor]]: Pretty nearly defines it, and was in fact, actually knighted. He also prefers wearing battered, rusty armour to ceremonial [[Bling of War]].
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* [[Only Sane Man]]: Often Vimes feels like this.
* [[Overly Long Name]]: His Grace, His Excellency, the Duke of Ankh Commander Sir Samuel Vimes.
** As of ''[[
* [[Papa Wolf]]: Don't get between him and his family, especially his son. Just don't.
* [[Rage Against the Heavens]]: He's been described as "burning" to arrest the Creator of the universe for doing such a shoddy job.
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* [[Throwing Your Sword Always Works]]: Vimes can't seem to let go of a blade without it sticking in something. Even a chisel. And it's [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshaded every single time]].
* [[Trademark Favorite Food]]: In later books, [[wikipedia:Bacon sandwich|the bacon sandwich]]. And most things that involve considerable amounts of salt, sugar, fat, and "burnt crunchy bits". While Sybil has become an expert in making such things for Sam, of late she's been keeping him on a diet, to his dismay.
* [[Turn in Your Badge]]: Played with; it was because he'd already announced his resignation. And then we have this gem from ''[[
** When Lord Rust was running the city in ''[[
** Earlier in his career (back when he was still captain and not a duke yet), Vimes ''did'' have to turn his badge over to Wonse, the Patrician's mad clerk. Vimes [[So What Do We Do Now?|didn't know what to do with himself]] afterward, since being a copper was all he knew how to do.
** In ''[[
* [[Underdressed for the Occasion]]: Played with, in that he does this on purpose — to the extent of throwing his ducal regalia into a convenient canyon in ''[[
* [[We Help the Helpless]]: Several of the Watch books start, or involve, investigating the murder of someone who wouldn't be considered "important" by those in power. It's not out of idealism—Vimes doesn't think that the poor and unrepresented are less mean, small-minded, or wicked than the rich—but ''someone'' has to defend them.
* [[Wrong Side of the Tracks]]: Despite growing up in a notoriously poor and crime-ridden neighborhood and spending some time in a street gang, where he learned to [[Groin Attack|fight dirty]], his street had Standards (buying soap to clean the table is better than putting food on it). He was shamed {{spoiler|by a future version of himself masquerading as his mentor}} out of taking a bribe by asking what his mum would say if she knew where he got it. This sets him on the path of [[Lawful Good]] when most of the [[Dirty Cop|police were corrupt]].
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** [[Beware the Nice Ones]]: Do NOT let his affability fool you, as he can seriously kick your ass if you manage to piss him off. That, [[The Fettered|or Vimes orders him to cut loose.]]
* [[Beware the Nice Ones]]: He's a 6-foot adopted dwarf, meaning he grew up in a mine swinging a pickaxe all day as soon as he could hold it. He's just as strong as any Dwarf, only scaled up 200%. Oh, and he's got the Narrative behind his back.
{{quote|If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat. They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word. -- [[
** The quote comes in an ironic echo when {{spoiler|Carrot later does just that to Dr. Cruces, who was then under the influence of a magically-possessed firearm.. He then destroys said firearm without flinching, when [[Determinator|Vimes]] could barely keep himself from murdering with it.}}
* [[Blunt Metaphors Trauma]]: Doesn't help that being raised by dwarves makes him take things literally.
* [[Chosen One]]: Subverted because he would rather be on the Watch than be king of Ankh-Morpork.
* [[Decoy Protagonist]]: Carrot is set up to be the main character in ''[[
** Actually, [[Word of God|Pratchett]] himself has stated that he intended Carrot to be the main character from the beginning, but Vimes pretty much took over the story, lending credence to the "stories write themselves, the author is just the conduit" theory.
* [[Dork Knight]]: he's ''painfully'' decent and, especially at first, rather naive in some ways, but as mentioned above, not someone to mess with.
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** Vimes speculates that their children have been born as the result of "particularly persuasive handwriting".
* [[Knowledge Broker]]: Of a sort. Colon is one of those people who naturally gets along with everyone, so Vimes gives him a comfy little office with a meaningless job title in the training building, where the kettle is always on and the doughnuts are free. Off-duty cops come by all the time to, as Vimes puts it, "gossip like washerwomen," and Vimes happily signs the bills for the tea and doughnuts in exchange for this free-flowing source of information. Vimes mentions that he uses Colon to figure out what the "man in the street" is thinking since Colon basically ''is'' the man in the street.
* [[The Neidermeyer]]: In ''[[
* [[Non-Action Guy]]: If he can possibly get away with it. When all officers were summoned to contain Carcer at the beginning of ''[[
* [[Pretend Prejudice]]: Colon expresses some not very enlightened opinions about Ankh-Morpork's non-white citizens, but continues to eat in his favorite curry restaurant which knows to make their food bland enough that he won't think it's "foreign", and is friendly with the proprietors. In fact it is pretty clear he was jumping on the national mood against Klatchians only, as it was pointed out he had no problem with other non-white people, such as the 'pretty brown' Constable Visit, lending credence to his characterization as amicable to most people as a rule.
* [[Punch Clock Hero]]
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Despite his resemblance to a shaved chimpanzee with bad acne, and despite his many bad habits (including kleptomania, chain-smoking, and telling off-color jokes in mixed company), Nobby Nobbs has a skill for getting along with people; Commander Vimes suspects it has something to do with the "common denominator", as there's nobody commoner than Nobby. He shares a strong camaraderie with Fred Colon, as well as street smarts, a fear of responsibility, and a belief in 'safe' policing (like keeping the peace in neighborhoods that have plenty of peace to keep, or guarding city landmarks from theft).
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* [[Abusive Parents]]: Comments about his unhappy childhood are occasionally [[Played for Laughs]] in earlier books, leading to some [[Fridge Horror]] when the reader comes back to them after seeing the truth of it in ''[[
* [[The Artful Dodger]]: When young.
* [[Attractive Bent Gender]]: [[Subverted Trope|"In this case the laws [of narrative convention] were fighting against the fact of Corporal Nobby Nobbs, and gave up."]]
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** According to [[Word of God|Pratchett]], "While most people know there's a werewolf in the Watch, most people think it's Nobby, for obvious reasons."
** Even ''Death'' doesn't know what his species is—responding with a confused delay then tentatively suggesting he is a "male" when he meets him while playing the role of the Hogfather.
* [[Interspecies Romance]]: One could technically argue that Nobby with a human girl is this, given how people tend to mistake him for some kind of goblin or primate-creature on first sight. {{spoiler|However, it becomes canon (between Nobby and a female goblin) in ''[[
* [[Instant Dogend]]
* [[Lovable Coward]]: "When the call came out, it would not find Nobby wanting. It would not find him at all".
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** And, given that this is ''Nobby'' we're talking about, aren't much in the way of 'real men' either.
* [[Those Two Guys]]: With Fred Colon.
* [[Ugly Guy, Hot Wife|Ugly Guy, Hot Girlfriend]]: In ''[[
** It's not inexplicable, just highly improbable. It's explained as (to paraphrase the book's description) the Hot Girlfriend having low self-esteem because all the normal men who would otherwise be all over her automatically assume she's out of their league and thus she thinks she must be dreadfully ugly. Nobby does not have these men's inhibitions.
* [[Wholesome Crossdresser|Wholes...]] ''[[Wholesome Crossdresser|Non-Villainous]]'' [[Wholesome Crossdresser|Crossdresser]]: After wearing female clothing as a disguise in ''[[
** Nobby actually strains the powers of Narrative Causality which state that any plain male, when wearing women's clothing will be seem attractive, a very rare occurrence in [[Discworld]].
=== Captain <ref>As of ''[[
A female Watch officer, [[Love Interests|love interest]] for Carrot, and resident werewolf. Probably one of the most formidable Watch members and her werewolf skills make her very useful, but she has to deal with an entire city getting [[Genre Savvy]] about it (though they all think Nobby is the werewolf).
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** [[Boobs of Steel]]
* [[Breast Plate]]: The watch had to have one made, due to [[Boobs of Steel|her anatomy]].
* [[Broken Bird]]: Continually [[Incredibly Lame Pun|dogged]] by the wild wolf half of her persona and (at least through ''[[
* [[Cain and Abel]]: Sort of... her brother is ''not'' a nice person.
* [[Damsel in Distress]]: Subverted. [[Mugging the Monster|So very, very much.]]
** Though played straight at least once.
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Driven to it by being a [[Broken Bird]] and one of the more intelligent Watch officers.
* [[Fantastic Racism]]: Both against her and on her part (towards [[golem]]s in ''[[
** Though the latter is more like a Fantastic Inferiority Complex.
* [[Full-Frontal Assault]]: Briefly in ''[[
* [[Good Thing You Can Heal]]: Her [[Healing Factor]] means she can be grievously injured in the course of the plot without being taken out of the action for long and/or [[Killed Off for Real]].
* [[Mugging the Monster]]: Very, very stupid criminals regularly try to take her hostage. They'll usually tell the Watch everything or confess to any and all crimes just to make her stop terrorizing them.
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* [[The Nose Knows]]
* [[Our Werewolves Are Different]]: Although she is different from most of the Discworld werewolves as well—her lupine form looks less like a pure wolf, and more like a cross with an <s> Afghan</s> Klatchian Hound.
* [[Sarcastic Devotee]]: To Carrot. Most noticeable in ''[[
* [[Superpower Lottery]]: At least on paper Angua is absurdly powerful—very little is made of it in the books, but she can actually [[Healing Factor|regenerate]] from near death unless silver is involved, [[The Nose Knows|has a canine-like sense of smell]] and a nigh unbeatable combat form. Oh and she can speak dog. And is very beautiful.<ref>So much so that even trolls and dwarves, who shouldn't find a human woman desirable, are suddenly inclined to be peaceful after they watch her [[Letting Her Hair Down|shake out her hair]].</ref> [[The Worf Effect|It's on paper though]], because it's common knowledge that the Watch has a ''werewolf'', and so [[Genre Savvy|silver and peppermint bombs have almost become routine for criminals]].
* [[Transformation Trauma]]: Subverted. Gaspode was expecting stock Hollywood werewolf transformation antics. Turns out it's "like a whole-body sneeze". It's the people who watch it happen who get traumatized.
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* [[Badass Bookworm]]: Due to dwarven fighting heritage on the very rare occasions that she's actually forced into fighting.
** Also, in ''[[
* [[Embarrassing Middle Name]]: Her entire traditional dwarven [[Punny Name]].
* [[Hot Scientist]]: Once other dwarfs get over the whole "ha'ak" thing, this seems to be so...
* [[Our Dwarves Are All the Same]]: Probably the most aggressive subversion ever.
* [[Pimped-Out Dress]]: In ''[[
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* [[The Comically Serious]]: First, it was because he was too dumb to understand humor. After [[Dumbass No More|he acquires his special helmet]], it's for another reason:
{{quote|For him, the humor was a human aberration, that had to be overcome by talking slowly and with patience.}}
* [[Drill Sergeant Nasty]]: Detritus discovers a talent for this in ''[[
* [[Drugs Are Bad]]: He hates drug dealers, rather logically given that troll drugs don't just ''figuratively'' [[Your Head Asplode|melt people's brains]].
{{quote|Jus' say "AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH"}}
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'''Vimes:''' Really? Sergeant Detritus, [[The Italian Job|blow the bloody doors off]]!
'''Detritus:''' Yessir! }}
* [[Fire-Forged Friends]]: Develops this with Cuddy in the course of ''[[
* [[Genius Bruiser]]: Trolls in the Discworld are walking minerals with silicon-based brains. The colder it gets, the smarter trolls get. When he was trapped in the Pork Futures Warehouse, Detritus very nearly worked out a Unified Field Theory while he was freezing to death. He survived, but alas, the equations did not.
** It's implied that Detritus is in fact, extremely intelligent by any standard when in cooler environments. The problem is that such temperatures are rarely achieved in a temperate environment like Ankh-Morpork's, and that his optimal temperature is unfortunately, also at the point where he is about to freeze to death.
*** It's actually been shown that trolls are all pretty smart in their home territories. It's just when they decide to travel to Ankh-Morpork to make a living that their intelligence drops, due to the hot, muggy weather. In ''[[
* [[Happily Married]]: But childless.
** No longer true as of ''[[
* [[Mighty Glacier]]: Usually slow on the uptake and tends to walk by dragging his knuckles, but can [[Lightning Bruiser|move and think very quickly]] when the situation calls for it.
** He (Detritus) walked fast now, with that lava-like deceptive "slowliness".
{{quote|Detritus moved so fast that he was halfway through the crowd before the dwarf hit the cobbles. His arm dipped into the press of bodies and hauled up a struggling figure. He spun round, thudded back through the gap that hadn't had time to close yet, and was beside Vimes before Ringfounder's helmet had stopped rolling.}}
* [[No Kill Like Overkill]]: The aforementioned Piecemaker.
* [[Parental Substitute]]: Becomes one in ''[[
* [[Putting on My Thinking Cap]]: Literally. [[All Trolls Are Different|It keeps his brain cool]].
* [[Sergeant Rock]]: In a literal sense and the fact he's disturbingly competent at being Vimes' ideal of the basics of coppering, despite (because of?) his penchant for intimidating damn near every non-Watchman.
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=== Constable Reginald "Reg" Shoe ===
The City Watch's resident zombie. Rather affable and upbeat about his status as an undead, and loyally serves Vimes with the same passion he did in life (see ''[[
----
* [[Badass]]: See how he decided to go down in ''[[
* [[Crazy Prepared]]: Was a conspiracy nut in life, and now carries everything he needs to stitch his body back together when it falls apart. (Of course, this is probably because it tends to be necessary on a regular basis)
* [[Determinator]]: He lives on as an undead because of his sheer willpower in life, death being merely a minor (and very temporary) inconvenience.
* [[Good Thing You Can Heal]]: He tends to lose body parts practically every other scene. He just sews them back on.
* [[Grievous Harm with a Body]]: In ''[[
* [[La Résistance]]: Was a member of the Glorious People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road (''[[
* [[Plucky Comic Relief]]: In life, and to some extent, as an undead.
* [[Soapbox Sadie]]: Very much so before he joined the Watch, less so afterward, though he'll still lead any pickets and strikes, and continues to work for undead rights, including hanging out in graveyards haranguing the dead to stop just lying there.
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=== Lance-Constable Salacia "Sally" ''[...]'' von Humpeding ===
The first vampire constable, debuted in ''[[
----
* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]: Like most vampires, she substituted her taste for blood for a talent at being a copper, and despite her [[Vein-O-Vision|blood-sensing abilities]] creeping out her coworkers, proves to be very effective at the job.
* [[Genre Savvy]]: Lampshades a lot of the preconceived notions of about vampires and subverts almost all of them knowingly.
* [[Love Triangle]]: Expressed interest in Carrot, making Angua go [[Clingy Jealous Girl]].
* [[Older Than They Look]]: She looks about sixteen, but is 51 as of ''[[
* [[Overly Long Name]]: As befitting a Discworld vampire.
{{quote|'He is in fact she,' said Lord Vetinari. He glanced down at his paperwork. 'Salacia Deloresista Amanita Trigestatra Zeldana Malifee...' he paused, turned over several pages, and said, 'I think I can skip some of these, but they end "von Humpeding".'}}
* [[Paper-Thin Disguise]]: Believes she can disguise her messages by [[Sdrawkcab Name|putting her first name on them backwards]]. Vimes [[Genre Savvy|notes this]] as a common failing of vampires.
* [[Vitriolic Best Buds]]: She and Angua seem to be [[Fire-Forged Friends|heading in this direction]], much to the latter's chagrin.
{{quote|"We are not ''bonding'', okay? I am not a bondage sort of person!"
=== Constable Dorfl ===
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* [[Overly Long Name]]: "Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets"
** Omnians apparently love these; see also "Mightily-Praiseworthy-Are-Ye-Who-Exalteth-Om Oats", aka Mightily Oats. Also, Visit's friend "Smite-the-Unbeliever-with-Cunning-Arguments".
*** Presumably this custom arose after the events of ''[[
*** In the least, it's mentioned in ''[[
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=== Inspector A.E. Pessimal ===
A former [[Obstructive Bureaucrat]] hired by Vetinari to examine Vimes' operations in ''[[
----
* [[Ascended Fanboy]]: Got to live his dream of being a copper.
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----.
* [[Ascended Extra]]: A gnome character named "Swires" was found living in a toadstool in the very first discworld story. Pratchett has hinted that the sequence of events that led to him appearing ten books later as a watchman is epic even by discworld standards.
** [[Characterisation Marches On]]: A truly epic case at least if they ''are'' the same character. The Swires that appears in ''[[
* [[Badass]]: Buggy Swires is vicious even for a gnome. He fought thirty other gnomes and ''won''.
* [[Big Badass Bird of Prey]]: His favoured means of transport.
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* [[Crazy Cat Lady|Crazy Swamp Dragon Lady]]
* [[Fluffy Tamer]]: Not only one of Discworld's foremost dragon breeders, but she also ''likes Nobby''.
* [[Good Is Not Dumb]]: Sybil ''looks'' harmless and cheery, but she's got a razor-sharp mind underneath. Most ably demonstrated in ''[[
* [[Happily Married]]: Though she worries about Sam and his work. However, she knows the former without the latter would no longer be Sam.
* [[Let's Get Dangerous]]: See [[Mama Bear]].
* [[Mama Bear]]: Not ''quite'' as dangerous as her husband when the family is threatened, because Sybil is genteel and well-bred. However, she also comes from a line of lords reaching back to the days when "nobility" meant "he who can kill the greatest number of enemies". As befitting a noblewoman, Sybil's weapons of choice are words and gestures. But making her angry is not a good idea.
* [[Obfuscating Stupidity]]: She does have a tendency to ''seem'' a tad airheaded, but that is a thin veneer hiding a mind capable of manipulating her husband like a puppet. She is notably one of the few people who calls Lord Vetinari by his first name (Havelock).
** Sybil is also a very shrewd businesswoman when she wants to be, as demonstrated by the aforementioned ''[[
** In ''Snuff'', she surprises even Lord Vetinari by her gambit — {{spoiler|getting the most important people in Ankh-Morpork (and representatives of most of the neighbouring countries) to listen to Tears of the Mushroom play her harp}}. Which results in a number of laws being rewritten. [[All According to Plan]].
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{{quote|"Has Sir ever gone Sir-on-one with a troll?" {{spoiler|Amusingly, later, A.E. ''does.''}}}}
* [[Former Teen Rebel]]: In his youth, ran with a street gang that even Vimes considered to be a bunch of tough bastards. Is now a butler.
* [[Old Retainer]]: Has been with the Ramkin family since at least events in ''[[
* [[Screaming Warrior]]: During ''Jingo'', he screams at the enemy and fellow soldiers during a charge. Once Vimes enters the scene, he oscillates between this trope and his butlery manners to humorous effect:
{{quote|"I'LL CUT YER TONKER OFF'F YER YER GREASY — Oh, is that you, Sir Samuel?"
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* [[Nice Hat]]
* [[No Sense of Humor]]: Is famed for it.
* [[Pimped-Out Dress]]: She's forced into one in ''[[
* [[Pride]]: Nanny Ogg describes her as 'proud' in the same sense that 'the sea is full of water'. She isn't a proud person, her existence ''is'' pride.
* [[Prim and Proper Bun]]: She wears her hair in a "tight bun that could crack rocks."
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* [[Transplant]], [[Mentors|Mentor]] and (arguably) one-woman [[Spotlight-Stealing Squad]]: In the Tiffany Aching books.
* [[Vitriolic Best Buds]]: She can't talk to Nanny for more than a few minutes without them starting to fight.
** As said in ''[[
** And in ''[[
* [[Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma]]: Despite the abundance of witches, they don't have [[Incredibly Lame Pun|spelling]] in the mountains.
* [["Well Done, Son" Guy]]: Towards Magrat. She saw potential for real witchery in the girl, and was a [[Stealth Mentor]] to her. She was secretly very proud of her, even though she never shows it. She was very upset when Magrat left witching, and was incredibly upset when [[Poor Communication Kills|she thought she'd not been invited to her wedding]]. Still, she was the one who told the Fool to marry her and was secretly very honoured when Magrat named her daughter Esmerelda.
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* [[Good Is Not Dumb]]: She's smart enough to keep ''Granny Weatherwax'' in check.
* [[Good Smoking, Evil Smoking]]: She smokes a pipe.
* [[Hidden Depths]]: [[Word of God|Terry Pratchett has hinted]] that she may be more powerful than Granny. This is rarely noticeable, but briefly comes up in ''[[
** Even if she isn't as strong in raw power, her highly developed ability to get along with people makes her the better witch in most everyday situations (for example she is [[Not Hyperbole|the best midwife in the entire history of the world]]). Both recognize that they are strongest as a team.
* [[I Was Quite a Looker]]
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=== Agnes Nitt ===
AKA "that Agnes who calls herself Perditax", Agnes is the [[The Hecate Sisters|third witch]] after Magrat leaves, and indeed ''[[
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* [[Brawn Hilda]]: Especially since her appearance in ''[[
* [[Brother Chuck]]: Has not been seen since ''[[
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Perdita
* [[Gainaxing]]: She's so fat she does it with her entire body. This is one of those things that's either massive [[Fan Disservice]] or [[Fetish Fuel]] with little room for middle ground.
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{{quote|'''Rincewind:''' I do not wish to volunteer, sir.
'''Vetinari:''' No one was asking you to.
'''Rincewind:''' Oh, but they will, sir, they will. Someone will say: hey, that Rincewind fella, he's the adventurous sort... And then I'll run away, and probably hide in a crate somewhere that'll be loaded on to the flying machine in any case... Or there'll be a whole string of accidents that end up causing the same tiling. Trust me, sir, [[Genre Savvy|I know how my life works]].|''[[
* [[Berserk Button]]: Like many wiz(z)ards, touching his hat is one of the only ways to make him forget his "violence will only make my situation worse" motto.
* [[Blessed with Suck]]: Having the Lady favor you means your life is a continuous chain of ''almost'' dying horribly.
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'''Death''': {{smallcaps|With him here, even uncertainty is uncertain. And I'm not sure even about that. }} }}
* [[Demoted to Extra]]: In recent books, much to his relief. Now he wants nothing more to live a boring life, since boredom is preferrable to the excitement he's been subjected to.
* [[Determined Defeatist]]: In his later appearances, especially ''[[
* [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?]]: [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|With a half brick. In a sock.]]
* [[The Drag Along]]: All the adventures he is pulled into are against his will. See quote above.
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* [[Hey, It's That Voice!]]: Eric Idle played him in the two Discworld games.
* [[High Hopes, Zero Talent]]: Is the [[Trope Codifier]].
* [[In Vino Veritas]]: In ''[[
* [[Inept Mage]]: Sure, he can't do magic to save his life, but he's very insistent that his wannabe-[[Nice Hat]] stays with him. It says "Wizzard" on it in sequins.
** He ''is'' actually a wizard, however - he can, for instance, see octarine and Death. He just happens to be almost completely inept at spells. To date, the only impressive feat of magic he has ever done on his own is mentally unlocking a door after much strain and effort at the end of ''[[
* [[Insistent Terminology]]: Rincewind defines himself as a wizard, never mind his lack of magical talent.
* [[Invincible Incompetent]]: He is noted for trying to run away from the plot action, yet invariably winning somehow.
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* [[Non-Action Guy]]: Unless you count running as a action.
* [[Omniglot]]: Particularly when it comes to screaming for help.
{{quote|Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.|''[[
** To be fair, he really does speak a lot of languages, mostly for the sake of narrative convenience. That was what got him hired by Twoflower to begin with.
* [[Only One Name]]: Once he mentions that he doesn't know whether he has a first name.
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* [[The So-Called Coward]]: Rincewind is the very patron saint of this trope, he ''wants'' to be a [[Dirty Coward]], but his own decency keeps him from it. He considers this a serious character flaw in himself.
* [[Trademark Favorite Food]]: He likes potatoes. He [[Fetish|really likes potatoes]].
* [[Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist]]: He is introduced this way in the very first book, attempting to con Twoflower out of his gold, and genuinely willing to abandon his allies to their fates when danger threatens. ''[[
* [[Yank the Dog's Chain]]: A lot.
** [[Throw the Dog a Bone]]: His promotion to [[Egregious]] Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography, however, seems to have taken, and he's more or less managed to work his way into the Unseen University faculty [[Cast Herd]].
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Arch-Chancellor of Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork's premiere [[Wizarding School]]. Combines traits of the traditional wizard with that of the stereotype of the gruff, outgoing huntin'-and-sportin' British gentleman. Far from stupid, but very stubborn and set in his ways. His mind has been likened to a steam engine: powerful, but slow to start and stop, and almost impossible to steer.
First seen in ''[[
----
* [[Awesome but Impractical]]: Ridcully's attitude towards magic. He's actually seriously powerful—a fact which he [[Obfuscating Stupidity|tends to keep hidden]]—but in his experience if the eldritch horror born out of nightmare can't be taken down with [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|a couple of hearty thwacks from his staff]] (six feet of solid oak, wielded by a man strong enough to box a troll) it's probably immune to magic as well.
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* [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass]]
* [[Egomaniac Hunter]]
* [[Friend to All Living Things]]: Subverted: That's what the faculty expected him to be like before he arrived, since Ridcully grew up in the mountains (his title at first appearance was Ridcully the Brown, in parody of Radagast from ''[[The Lord of the Rings]]''). As it turns out, [[Egomaniac Hunter|he only talks to the animals to say "Winged you, you bastard!"]]
* [[Just Smile and Nod]]: His standard reaction to Ponder Stibbons.
* [[Klingon Promotion]]: He single-handedly stopped the tradition of this at Unseen University by being [[Badass|pretty much completely indestructible]].
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* [[New Media Are Evil]]: One of his beliefs. This being Discworld, he's often right.
* [[No Indoor Voice]]: Ridcully's favored method of management is bellowing at people until they deal with the problem. (Though granted, he has other tactics in his arsenal for when this fails.)
* [[No One Gets Left Behind]]: Ridcully refuses to leave a fellow wizard in danger, even if they're a zombie (''[[
* [[Obfuscating Stupidity]]: Particularly noticeable in ''[[Lords and Ladies]]''. Ponder Stibbons tried to explain the concept of [[Alternate History]], and Ridcully kept wandering off on tangents until Stibbons gave up. The next day, ''Ridcully'' explained the theory to Granny Weatherwax.
{{quote|Not for the first time, Ponder wondered if Ridcully was smarter than he looked. Which wouldn't be that hard.}}
** Ponder eventually becomes an avid "Ridcully Watcher" and is now under no illusions whatsoever about Ridcully's intelligence.
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* [[Go Among Mad People]]: His sanity (somewhat questionable these days) frequently gets challenged and temporarily maligned the more time he spends around the UU faculty. Their [[Insane Troll Logic]] and frequent irrationality leaves him continuously and desperately trying to imbue some sense of sanity into the situation.
{{quote|He wasn't interested in promotion, anyway. He'd just be happy if people ''listened'' for five minutes instead of saying 'Well done, Mister Stibbons, but we tried that once and it doesn't work,' or 'We probably haven't got the funding,' or, worst of all, 'You don't get proper fill-in-nouns these days - remember old "nickname" ancient-wizard-who-died-fifty-years-ago-who-Ponder-wouldn't-possibly-be-able-to-remember? Now ''there'' was a chap who knew his fill-in-nouns.' }}
** If he gets pushed too far, this can go into [[Break the Cutie]] territory (in ''[[
* [[Good with Numbers]]: The only people in the [[Discworld]] (so far) who is better at them than him are Susan Sto Helit (who [[Too Clever by Half|memorises square roots]]) and the [[Cloudcuckoolander|Bursar]] (who is currently in semi-retirement, so Ponder fills in his position).
* [[Heroic Self-Deprecation]]: When he's first introduced, this trope is pretty much averted and ''inverted'', where he is an [[Insufferable Genius]] and looks down on everyone. But by the latest books his association with UU ''seems'' to have turned this around a bit, and he's just trying to keep things running. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if he's actually being modest or not, though.
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=== The Librarian a.k.a. {{spoiler|Dr. Horace Worblehat}} ===
[[File:Hogswatch card with The Librarian.jpg|thumb|250px|Ook.]]
{{quote|''Ook.''}}
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* [[The Unintelligible]]: He only communicates through "ook"s and the occasional "eek." Despite this, few characters seem to have any trouble understanding him after a little time to acclimate.
* [[Unusually Uninteresting Sight]]: It's gotten to the point where people just habitually ignore the 300-pound ape at the Mended Drum, and if someone told the Faculty that there was an orangutan wandering around the grounds, they'd probably go ask the Librarian if he'd seen it.
=== The Bursar ===
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* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]]
* [[Genius Ditz]]: No matter how far gone his sanity goes, he can still function as the University's Bursar.
** As of ''[[Unseen Academicals]]'' this is no longer the case, after he declared he would have nothing to do with decimal places. Ponder took up his job as the last bit of the administration arm he didn't already control.
** He did, however, [[
* [[Nervous Wreck]]: The events of ''Moving Pictures'' and ''Reaper Man'' leave him a paranoid, twitching, nervous mess, who has to be medicated into hallucinating he is sane (attempts to cure of his nervous state proved impossible).
* [[Noodle Incident]]: He isn't allowed metal utensils after 'The Unfortunate Incident At Dinner'.
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=== The Dean {{spoiler|AKA, since ''[[
Another member of UU's senior faculty, the Dean (Name unknown) is seldom nice or kind. No one really knows what he does, besides attend public functions and eat big dinners. A wizard of the old school, the Dean is usually the first to launch fireballs in the face of danger, and prefers to go 'Hut-hut-hut' when trouble arises. He also may be more sensitive to occult changes in the world than other wizards, as during the 'Music With Rocks In' craze, he began to dress in leather and painted his room black while everyone else was only mildly rebelling.
----
* [[Big Eater]]: Even moreso than his fellow wizards. He's gained so much weight that, according to Ridcully, he "looks like he swallered a bed!"
* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]]: Like most of the UU staff, he is known only by his title. During ''[[Unseen Academicals]]'', Ridcully had to make an effort to remember his name.
* [[Heroic Wannabe]]: See especially ''Reaper Man'' and ''Soul Music''.
** He even {{spoiler|sets himself up as Archancellor of a ''different'' university}} to try to one-up Ridcully.
* [[Jerkass]]: And HOW.
* [[Vitriolic Best Buds]]: With Ridcully {{spoiler|since they were undergraduates together. Revealed in ''[[
=== Professor John Hix ===
Head of the Department of Necrom... er, Post-Mortem Communications, first introduced in ''[[
----
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]
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{{quote|{{smallcaps|What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the reaper man?}}}}
[[I Have Many Names|The Stealer of Souls, Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind,]] [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|"Picker-Up of Unconsidered Trifles"]], etc. Tall, bony fellow with a black robe and a scythe, {{smallcaps| talks like this all the time.}} You'll know him when you see him, and sooner or later ''everyone'' sees him, but most people don't notice him unless they're users of magic, or are dead/about to die. Has developed a fondness for humans (and cats) over the centuries. Also, he's the only character to appear in every Discworld book except for ''[[
* [[Absurdly Sharp Blade]]: See that page for a better description.
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* [[The Anti-Nihilist]]: More than even Vimes, he knows the infinite universe has no mercy or kindness. Doesn't mean he can't make some of his own.
* [[Anthropomorphic Personification]]: Even metaphors have to live. Sort of.
* [[Ascended Extra]]: Showed up in ''[[
* [[Badass]]: [[Discworld/Awesome|And how!]]{{context}}
* [[Badass Grandpa]]: To Susan.
* [[Black Cloak]]
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* [[Non-Linear Character]]: He's Death. Time has a very different meaning for him. As does space. The entire continuum really.
* [[Painting the Fourth Wall]]: {{smallcaps|His distinctive method of speech.}} (Described as sounding "like lead slabs falling on a marble floor.")
* [[Power of Rock]]: During ''[[
* [[Reality Writing Book]]: Death has an entire library of books that write themselves as people's lives unfold.
* [[Santa Claus]]: He once took on the mantle of the Discworld Santa Claus (The [[
* [[Sinister Scythe]]: Come on, he's ''Death''.
* [[The Spock]]: He knows and represents the one logical certainty in the universe — all things end. The other stuff leaves him a little nonplussed.
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{{quote|{{smallcaps|Squeak}}}}
During ''[[
----
* [[Black Cloak]]: Which looks highly amusing on a rat skeleton.
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* [[Deadpan Snarker]]
* [[Expressive Hair]]: Halfway between this and [[Prehensile Hair]], really. It's self-styling.
* [[Flat Earth Atheist]]: In her first appearance in ''[[
* [[Genre Savvy]]
* [[Genetic Memory]]: She tries hard to forget it, but she can remember both the past ''and'' future. She is not happy with her grandfather about this.
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* [[In the Blood]]: In the ''bone'', actually. She has all of Death's abilities, more or less.
* [[It Runs in The Family]]: And family ties are ''very'' strong.
* [[Magical Nanny]]: In ''[[
* [[Mind Manipulation]]: [[Compelling Voice]] and [[Somebody Else's Problem]], mostly.
* [[Mundane Utility]]: Uses the ability to stop time, walk through walls, and manipulate the fabric of reality to grade papers and give the best history lessons ''EVER''.
* [[Mundane Solution]]: The [[Capital Letters Are Magic|Poker]]. [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?|It kills monsters.]]
* [[Non-Linear Character]]: Like her granddad, she doesn't really exist inside of time. She can interact with it, and she lives in it most of the...er... time, but when the [[
* [[Prim and Proper Bun]]: Her hair tends to twist itself into a bun of its own volition. As she works as a school teacher when she's not saving the world, it's rather fitting.
* [[Reality Warper]]: Not of the [[Game Breaker]] variety, but time and space have very fluid definitions to her and she moves around them in a different way than everyone else. Even resident [[badass]]es Albert and [[Never Mess with Granny|Nanny Ogg]] are creeped out and cautious around her. Mostly because sometimes she forgets about doors. And walls.
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* [[Refusal of the Call]]: She ''really'' hates the fact that the [[Call to Adventure]] keeps battering down her door when the universe, space, or time is in danger. By ''Thief Of Time'' she's become more or less [[Resigned to the Call]] but she is still not happy about it (see [[Blessed with Suck]] above for why).
* [[Skunk Stripe]]: Inverted; her hair is white with a black stripe.
* [[Stern Teacher]]: In ''[[
* [[Tomato in the Mirror]]: In ''[[Soul Music (novel)|Soul Music]]'', when she remembers her granddad and who she really is.
* [[Time Stop]]: One of the powers that she uses most often. [[Mundane Utility|Handy for grading papers.]]
* [[White-Haired Pretty Girl]]
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== Granny Aching ==
Tiffany's grandmother and possibly a powerful witch, even though she never used any overt magic (which to Granny Weatherwax just means that she was very good at her job indeed). [[Posthumous Character|Dies before the beginning]] of ''[[
----
* [[Cool Old Lady]]
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----
* [[Alpha Bitch]]: Oh so much. Instead of learning witch-magic, she learns wizard-magic, which is about power.
** [[Lovable Alpha Bitch]]: In a manner of speaking. Tiffany can more or less see through her snobby attitude to see a confused young girl beneath it. Also, in the ''[[
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Uses the word "literally" a lot and incorrectly.
* [[Defrosting Ice Queen]]: In, ironically, ''[[
* [[Meaningful Name]]: Annagramma approaches being a proper witch entirely backwards.
* [[Not So Different]]: {{spoiler|Snubs Tiffany's heritage, but her own is no better despite her lies to the contrary.}}
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Current Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. A thin, bearded man who dresses and lives in a Spartan manner ([[Punctuated! For! Emphasis!|no, not like that]]), his uncanny knowledge of human nature and unparalleled talent for scheming has allowed him to make Ankh-Morpork one of the finest cities on the Discworld, through economic and cultural might rather than force of arms. So good at his job that the Assassins' Guild will not take out contracts on him, because if he was ever not in control, Ankh-Morpork would collapse. Fortunately, [[Magnificent Bastard|he is never, '''ever''' not in control]], not even when he's arrested and locked in a dungeon cell. It's '''his''' dungeon cell, after all.
Succeeded "Mad Lord Snapcase". He is not named until ''[[
----
* [[Ambiguously Evil]]
* [[The Anti-Nihilist]]: Very similar views to Vimes, but rather than confront injustice head-on, he prefers to change the world through subtle trickery and manipulation (or just terrifying it into behaving when needed.)
* [[Anti-Villain]]: Well, sort of... He's generally on the same side as the heroes, but fulfills every other requirement for Bond Villainy except for that one crucial point.
* [[Awesomeness By Analysis]]: He ''instantly'' displays masterful juggling skills in ''[[
** The [[All There in the Manual|Assassins' Guild Diary]] reveals that this also applied to his student days, when he was the school's grandmaster at Stealth Chess: an extremely [[Paranoia Fuel|unpredictable, cutthroat]] variant which he practiced playing ''blindfolded''.
* [[Badass]]: He usually doesn't even have to get his hands dirty, but ''when he does...''
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* [[The Extremist Was Right]]: Vetinari's original plans to stabilise Ankh-Morpork, which included legalising the Thieves' Guild and winding down operations such as the Watch and the Post Office — which, odd as they sound, worked. Of course, now the city is functioning properly again, he can afford to wind all that stuff ''up'' again.
* [[Fascinating Eyebrow]]
* [[Hidden Depths]]: The reveal of his relationship with Lady Margolotta in ''[[
** He's also extremely competent in combat, as seen in ''[[
* [[Knight in Sour Armor]]: Underlines his [[Evil Versus Evil]] and [[Black and Gray Morality]] worldview. He's essentially a [[Nietzsche Wannabe]] who's sufficiently angry about the world as he sees it that he considers it his moral obligation to do something about it.
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]
* [[Morality Pet]]: Wuffles. Possibly replaced by Mr. Fusspot after it is revealed in ''[[
* [[Never Gets Drunk]]: In ''[[
** And he stubbed his toe.
* [[Noble Demon]]: Takes this to an art form. Any Ankh-Morpork citizen will be happy to tell you that he's an evil, vicious, manipulative tyrant... but they'll have a great deal of difficulty explaining what's so ''bad'' about that.
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** [[Lampshade]]d; he got nicknamed "Dog-Botherer" when he was at the Assassins' Guild.
* [[The Rival]]: He used to think this about the dog food seller who was the only one other than him to regularly win the ''Times'' crossword. Since she started ''writing'' them, she seems to be getting to him over the last few books. As of ''Snuff'', she actually came up with one he couldn't solve and he grudgingly admitted that she had won, after what for him was a major rant.
* [[Scars Are Forever]]: Has walked with a cane ever since being wounded in an attempted assassination in [[
* [[The Social Expert]]
* [[Unholy Matrimony]]: His endlessly ambiguous relationship with Lady Margolotta... [[Anti-Villain|for a very limited value of 'unholy', of course]].
* [[Vetinari Job Security]]: [[Trope Namer]], obviously: you'd expect that a nicer person would make the city a better place, but no replacement can possibly measure up to his skill at juggling groups that don't get along well.
* [[Wrong Genre Savvy]]: After tediously clearing up after several passing fads with dark secrets behind them (the dragon in ''[[
* [[Xanatos Gambit]]: Plays a continuous one with Lady Margolotta: makes his coded messages ''almost'' unbreakable knowing that she reads them. If she doesn't or can't break them, great, she shouldn't be doing either. If she does both he'll know what she thinks is in them.
* [[Xanatos Speed Chess]]: He claims to never have any real plans, instead steering emerging events to his advantage. Plans would just get in his way.
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=== Lady Margolotta ===
Lady Margolotta is a vampire, who appeared mainly in ''[[
----
* [[Addiction Displacement]]: Replacing blood with ''politics''. And cigarettes.
Line 920 ⟶ 915:
* [[The Chessmaster|The Chessmistress]]
* [[Color-Coded for Your Convenience]]: Averted. Although she spends most of ''The Fifth Elephant'' wearing a pink jumper, describing her as anything close to [[The Chick]] is bound to land you in a ''lot'' of trouble.
* [[Expecting Someone Taller]]: In ''[[
* [[Good Smoking, Evil Smoking]] : Well, [[Anti-Villain]] smoking anyway.
* [[Interspecies Romance]]: The jury's still out on this one.
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* [[Our Vampires Are Different]]: Lady Margolotta, like several of the vampires in later books, has sworn off human blood, and considers animal blood a poor but necessary substitute, "like lemonade replaces vhisky, believe me."
* [[Overly Long Name]]: Margolotta Amaya Katerina Assumpta Crassina von Überwald, and thats just the short form...
* [[Woman in Black]]: In ''[[
* [[Vampire Vords]] : In ''[[
** This is possibly a [[Shout-Out]] to the original Dracula novel: the count speaks in a thick Hungarian accent when Jonathan Harker visits him, yet by the time he visits London it has almost disappeared.
* [[The Von Trope Family]]: Margolotta (insert four pages worth of middle names/titles here) Von Uberwald.
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{{quote|''Trust me.''}}
A con-artist turned government employee, noted for his masterful people skills and for being [[The Nondescript|so average in appearance as to be nondescript.]] Having been saved from the hangman's noose by Lord Vetinari, Lipwig was [[Boxed Crook|put to work]] revitalizing the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, and later doing the same at the Royal Bank and the Royal Mint, before representing Ankh-Morpork to the Hygenic Railway. Romantically involved with Adora Belle Dearheart, a fiercely independent, cynical, chain-smoking but beautiful golem-rights activist. Was essentially created as a way to have novels set in Ankh-Morpork without the Watch automatically [[Spotlight-Stealing Squad|taking over the plot]].
----
* [[Boxed Crook]]: Moist would rather live than be executed as a scam artist, but he's an adrenaline junkie, and he misses [[In Harm's Way|the thrill of the hustle]] so much it almost drives him crazy. He finds ways to make up for it, such as by pulling crowd-pleasing stunts at the Post Office and just being near his fiance.
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* [[Indy Ploy]]: He positively thrives on this trope.
{{quote|This was where his soul lived: dancing on an avalanche, making the world up as he went along, reaching into people's ears and changing their minds.}}
* [[In Harm's Way]]: He does his best work when his life is in danger. Additionally, his fiance seems to be a sufficient source of danger for him, so much so that when she goes out of town on business, he takes up a number of dangerous
* [[Ladykiller in Love]]: With Adora Belle Dearheart. However, despite admitting to having conned women, Moist is not an ardent womaniser.
* [[Loveable Rogue]]: He thinks of himself as this since he's charming and doesn't hurt anyone. [[Deconstructed Trope|Mr. Pump gives him a mathematical
* [[Manipulative Bastard]]: For good causes these days, though. Questioned by himself:
{{quote|"Am I really a bastard or am I just really good at thinking like one?"}}
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* [[Running Gag]]: Stealing Drumknott's pencils.
* [[Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism]]: Moist is an interesting study: He's probably second only to Lord Vetinari himself when it comes to cynicism and people-manipulation, but he utilizes this in the service of idealism. Even he doesn't quite understand how he keeps pulling it off.
* [[Technical Pacifist]]: Of a different sort. He really does never lift a hand against anyone {{spoiler|until ''[[Raising Steam]]'' when he drank something he really should have known better than to drink}}, and uses this to justify scamming people. His golem probation officer points out that the victims of his larger frauds were actually worse off than they would have been if he had simply mugged them. {{spoiler|When he actually kills someone in self-defense, he promptly vomits}}.
* [[Too Clever by Half]]
* [[Unfortunate Name]]
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* [[Pure Is Not Good]]
* [[Reality Warper]]
* {{spoiler|[[Weaksauce Weakness]]: Several. Chocolate, for one. And dreams. Hell, even being human for very long functions as [[Mind Rape]] for them, and eventually causes a [[Heel Face Turn]], insanity or death. Between these, all 700 that take on human form in ''[[
* [[World of Silence]]: Their ideal world is a variation of this. Though they'd probably find ''silence'' too noisy. Emptiness would be best of all.
----
Line 1,009 ⟶ 1,004:
{{quote|''The truth has got its boots on. And it's going to start kicking.''}}
A scribe who comes from a wealthy family, William is making his own way by sending newsletters to leaders of various other countries. He is pulled into the newest technological advancement of the Disc, movable type. With the assistance of a shed filled with Dwarves, the attractive daughter of an engraver, and a vampire/photographer, he begins the Disc's first newspaper, the Ankh-Morpork Times. Reappears in ''[[
Although he does not directly appear, mention should also be made of ''[[Going Postal (Discworld)|Going Postal]],'' in which Moist von Lipwig observes that [[Crowning Moment of Funny|William was a young man who "somehow managed to write as though his bum had been stuffed with tweed."]]
----
* [[Badass Bookworm]]
Line 1,033 ⟶ 1,028:
=== Otto Chriek ===
The iconographer (photographer) at the ''Times.'' A native of Uberwald who moved to the Big Wahooni (Ankh-Morpork, that is), Otto is a card-carrying member of the Black Ribbon society (vampires who have sworn off human "b-vord"). He has the slightly crazed edge of a born killer who has found something else to divert his energy—namely, taking iconographs. Unfortunately, as vampires are sensitive to bright light, he tends to be turned to dust by his own flash when he takes pictures ... but fortunately, a drop of blood on his remains will restore him immediately. Otto has started wearing a small container of blood to make sure he auto-resurrects on the job. Made short appearances in ''[[
----
* [[Addiction Displacement]]: From blood onto photography.
Line 1,046 ⟶ 1,041:
* [[Our Vampires Are Different]]
* [[Slasher Smile]]: The same worryingly intense smile normally reserved for vampires about to eat you is instead used as a default (if slightly crazed) expression.
* [[Unskilled but Strong]]: At the end of ''[[
* [[Vampire Vords]]: Exaggerated for effect, like most of his stereotypical-vampire traits.
* [[We Need a Distraction]]: At one point, William De Worde takes advantage of the aforementioned [[Blinding Camera Flash]] to get past some watchmen, noting that a vampire writhing and screaming in pain is ''always'' the center of attention.
Line 1,053 ⟶ 1,048:
=== Lu-Tze ===
The not-exactly-holy, wrinkly, smiling little man who debuted in ''[[
----
* [[Actually, I Am Him]]: He doesn't really tend to explain who he is, preferring to wait for the person talking to him to figure it out so he can [[Oh Crap|laugh at their expression]].
Line 1,059 ⟶ 1,054:
* [[Badass Grandpa]]
* [[Combat Pragmatist]]: Although his favorite weapons are stealth and trickery.
* [[Cynical Mentor]]: Lampshaded in ''[[
{{quote|'''Lobsang Ludd:''' You said that it would be in Ankh-Morpork!
'''Lu-Tze:''' Yeah, but I have years of experience and cynicism! You're just talented! }}
Line 1,074 ⟶ 1,069:
{{quote|''Woof bloody woof.''}}
Gaspode was a fairly normal stray until ''[[
----
* [[Compelling Voice]]: Due to the [[Weirdness Censor]], people tend to think anything he says is their own thought. Hence, "Cor, I'm a bastard, aren't I?" "Give the cute little doggy some sausages," and "Sergeant Quirk... [[Crowning Moment of Funny|you got an itchy bottom]]. [[Cool and Unusual Punishment|Prickle, prickle, prickle]]." {{spoiler|Furthermore, being able to speak human automatically gives him this power over other dogs.}}
Line 1,083 ⟶ 1,078:
* [[Talking Animal]]
* [[Unsound Effect]]: He doesn't actually bark, he ''says'' "woof".
* [[Weirdness Censor]]: He abuses it shamelessly. Most people, when they hear him, immediately think "Dogs can't talk" and decide that what they heard must have been their own thoughts. ("Give the nice dogs some sausages.") In ''[[
Line 1,095 ⟶ 1,090:
* The Duck Man, who is on the whole the sanest and most educated member of the Crew (as opposed to Altogether Andrews, who is ''in part'' the sanest and most educated), except that he's never seen without a duck on his head. And if you ask him why, he'll act like ''you're'' the odd one for seeing ducks where ducks aren't.
They appear in ''[[
* [[Crazy Sane]]: Implied to be the case for the Duck Man. He finds everyone's persistent fixation on ducks around him quite bewildering.
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Be afraid. Be ''very'' afraid. Twoflower's Luggage is every traveler's dream: it's made of (ridiculously expensive) sapient pearwood, it looks like a wooden trunk on legs, and it follows him '''everywhere''' like a big wooden guard dog. The Luggage also is invitingly full of gold, has a near-bottomless capacity, and seems to be able to magically clean Twoflower's laundry. Thieves look at it with great interest ... until they discover (usually much too late) that the Luggage has big teeth, it's impervious to magic, it's prone to violent psychosis, and it is quite happy to eat anyone or anything that gets in its way. Twoflower later bequeathes it to Rincewind, who views it as something of a mixed blessing.
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* [[Animate Inanimate Object]]: In the first book, it is often described as "opening its lid threateningly" or "it turned and faced them, despite the fact it had no face with which to face them with." Right near the end of ''[[
* [[Chest Monster]]: One with no brain, and a homicidal attitude towards anything that threatens its master.
* [[Clingy MacGuffin]]: Being made of sapient pear wood, and having a definite personality of its own, the Luggage straddles the line between this and [[The Cat Came Back]] {{spoiler|until it meets a mate.}}
* {{spoiler|[[Crossdresser]]}}: In ''[[
* [[Determinator]]
* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: Very, very much so.
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* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: Be very careful about saying things like "I'd rather die before..." and so forth in front of Cohen. He'll always take you at your word.
* [[Rage Against the Heavens]]
* [[Refuge in Audacity]]: The Silver Horde's plan to {{spoiler|steal ''the entire Agatean Empire''}} in ''[[
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=== Lord Ronald "Ronnie" Rust ===
Ankh-Morpork's leading aristocrat (Vetinari doesn't count, and as for the current Duke of Ankh...). Rust is a starched, snobbish and ridiculously pompous individual with an abiding and entirely mutual hatred towards Sam Vimes. Led Ankh-Morpork during the brief war with Klatch in ''[[
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* [[Blue Blood]]
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* [[Loophole Abuse]]: [[All There in the Manual|Supplemental material for the series]] reveals that he's the founder and sole member of the Guild of C.M.O.T. Dibblers. Presumably there was some financial or political benefit in applying for this status, immediately before Vetinari closed the loophole. Or it's possible even the Merchants didn't want him.
* {{spoiler|[[Overly Long Name]]}}: {{spoiler|"C.M.O.T." doesn't just stand for his [[Catch Phrase]]; his full name is Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler.}}
* [[Stable Time Loop]]: In ''[[
=== Rhys Rhysson ===
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=== Conina the Hairdresser ===
Daughter of the above-mentioned Cohen the Barbarian and one of the many temple dancers he woo'ed through the years. From her mother she inherited gold-tinged skin, white-blond hair, a voice that can make "Good morning" sound like an invitation to bed, and a very good figure. From her father, she inherited sinews you could moor a ship with, muscles as solid as a plank, and reflexes like a snake on a hot tin roof. She also acquired from Cohen suitable heroic instincts (that is, strong urges to fight, kill, and steal) and an ability to [[Improvised Weapon|use anything as a deadly weapon]]. These traits rather get in the way of the profession she really wants to have: hairdressing. Seen in ''[[
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* [[Badass Normal]]: Few people imagine how deadly a comb can be before they have met Conina.
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=== Lobsang Ludd ===
A foundling raised in the Guild of Thieves until a chance meeting with a history monk resulted in him being wiped from the Guild's collective memory and taken to be trained in the mountains in abilities he was only barely aware he had. However, Lobsang is apparently "a smart boy" and there's no teaching a smart boy. Compared to other characters in ''[[
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* {{spoiler|[[Anthropomorphic Personification]]}}
* [[Blank Slate]]: Arguably suffers from "dull protagonist" syndrome (but then, who ''wouldn't'' look dull alongside Lu Tze and Susan?) {{spoiler|until his [[A God Am I|upgrade]]}}.
* {{spoiler|[[A God Am I]]}}: At the end of ''[[
* [[I Just Want to Be Normal]]: Technically he just wants to {{spoiler|stay ''partly'' normal, he could "just know" absolutely ''anything'' he wanted to know at any given instant because he is Time itself personified and sees all potential possibilities, but he claims he has to do things "the right way round" to stay partly human.}}
* [[In the Blood]]: Son of {{spoiler|Time}}. It shows.
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=== Jonathan Teatime ===
Nobody can seem to decide whether Teatime, the villain of ''[[
----
* [[Adaptation Distillation]]: Say what you will about the movie adaptation as a whole, their version of Teatime was so disturbingly convincing that it's likely to color your perception of him forever afterward.
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=== Polly/Oliver Perks ===
A young girl in the war-torn country of [[
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* [[Action Girl]]: She's a soldier.
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=== Carcer Dun ===
The [[Big Bad]] of ''[[
----
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=== The Amazing Maurice ===
Maurice is a talking cat, with a cat's ego and self-interest, and something of a feline equivalent of Gaspode who has a softer heart than he's willing to admit even to himself. Title character of ''[[
▲Maurice is a talking cat, with a cat's ego and self-interest, and something of a feline equivalent of Gaspode who has a softer heart than he's willing to admit even to himself. Title character of ''[[Discworld/The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents|The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents]].''
----
* [[Anti-Hero]]
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=== Om ===
Om is the god of Omnia, a state somewhere in Discworld's hot desert regions. He starred in ''[[
▲Om is the god of Omnia, a state somewhere in Discworld's hot desert regions. He starred in ''[[Discworld/Small Gods|Small Gods]]'', and was an example of what happens to gods when people stop believing in them (even if they're still practicing the official religion). In his official form, Om is a great big mighty golden thing with horns, but he spends {{spoiler|most of}} the story as a powerless, petulant, sarcastic tortoise with a lot of natural enemies (including eagles, other small gods, and his own In...uh, '''''Ex'''''quisition), because his religion has grown so bureaucratic that he's down to his very last believer. Said believer is an initiate named Brutha, who has faith like stone and roughly the brains of one, too.
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* [[Break the Haughty]]: Most of the events of ''[[
* [[Brought Down to Normal|Brought Down To Tortoise]]
* [[Crystal Dragon Jesus]]: Draws upon Judaism, Christianity, and Islam - mostly Christianity, since the events of ''[[
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: It's just something about being a tortoise. They're naturally deapan.
* [[He Who Must Not Be Seen]]: More recent books imply that Om's faith has begun eclipsing the other gods' specifically because he does not manifest or provide any concrete proof of his existence, so he may actually be the most powerful god on the disc by now. (Ironically, actually utilizing any of that power would be his undoing.)
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