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- This book manages to create a CMOH and a CMOA at the same time with just three words: "I have worth."
- The other passengers in the coach defending Nutt from the Furies.
- Ponder Stibbons was offered the post of a Bursar in the new University of Brazeneck. How much would they pay? He didn't ask. Awww.
- "I wrote it for you."
- Archchancellor Ridcully's reaction when the Librarian was poisoned. Most of the time Ridcully seems to be the boisterous, thoughtless type, but his anger at the poisoning shows that, in his way, he truly cares for his friends.
- Upon finding out that new arrival Professor Macarona is a Invisible to Gaydar, Ridcully has this to say "A lot of that sort of thing about, apparently ... people make such a fuss. Anyway, in my opinion, there's not enough love in the world."
- If the striker thinks he scores, or the keeper cries in shame...