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Donald Trump (view source)

Revision as of 21:24, 20 January 2017

20 bytes added ,  7 years ago
Updated to reflect that he is now PoTUS
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(edit based on remarks from this reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/The_Donald/comments/5girqi/a_tale_of_two_trope_sites_and_their_coverage_of/dasqj2z/?context=3)
(Updated to reflect that he is now PoTUS)
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[[File:dtrump 3721.jpg|frame|[[Catch Phrase|You're fired]].]]
{{quote|''Make America Great Again''}}
'''Donald Trump''' was elected to beis the 45th President of the United States of America,. aOne roleof hethe willfew assumepresidents withto hisbe inaugurationknown onoutside Januaryof 20thpolitical circles before his run, 2017.he was Originallyoriginally a real estate mogul known for [[Egopolis|slapping his name]] on the front of his innumerable hotels, casinos, resorts and golf courses. Prior to transferring his business assets to his children, most of his capital was rooted in New York City, where he owned several million square feet of property, including ''half of the Empire State Building''. Prior to 2015 he held joint-ownership over the Miss Universe pageant, also encompassing Miss USA and Miss Teen USA. This is a secondary achievement to Donald's comb-over, which rivals any architecture he's built. He also hosted [[The Apprentice (TV series)|The Apprentice]], until [http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/nbc-officially-fires-donald-trump-celebrity-apprentice he got kicked out] for his controversial opinions about Mexican immigrants. But we're getting ahead of ourselves...<ref> According to [http://www.unionleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20150227/NEWS0605/150229334/1010/Art Trump himself, he had already been considering not renewing being the host anyway due to his presidential campaign, so being officially dropped just confirmed it.]</ref>
 
In [[The Seventies]], Trump inherited his real estate business from his father Fredrick (rechristening it "The Trump Organization", natch). Following a five-year apprenticeship under his dad, Donald relocated to New York City to begin his career in earnest. He went on to gather up Manhattan's most profitable properties like so many vacant ''[[Monopoly]]'' squares.
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He faced [[Hillary Clinton]] in the 2016 general election. He campaigned on a platform promising renegotiating several "disastrous" international trade deals, stronger enforcement of immigration laws, reform of veterans' care, repeal and replacement of Obamacare, abolition of Common Core education standards, investments in the country's infrastructure, ending corruption in Washington D.C. and a simplified tax code with lower rates. His primary slogan was "Make America Great Again"<ref>The slogan also harkens back to [[Ronald Reagan]]'s slogans in [[The Eighties]], though Trump himself disagreed with Reagan on some stances.</ref> with secondary slogans including "Build the Wall", "Drain the Swamp", and "He's With Me" (a jab at his opponent's main slogan "I'm With Her"). Originally predicted by the majority of the media polling to lose in a landslide (born of an incorrect assumption turnout demographics would equal that of the 2008 election), he would up winning several states in the "Rust Belt" previously thought Democrat strongholds such as Michigan and Pennsylvania.
 
UponHe taking office he will beis the oldest first term president and the ''only'' US president who has never held prior political office or military rank<ref>He joins [[William Howard Taft]] and [[Herbert Hoover]] on the list of never holding ''elected'' office or military rank, but Donald Trump was never appointed to any office either.</ref> and his wife will be the second foreign born First Lady<ref>Louisa Catherine Johnson Adams, First Lady to John Quincy Adams (6th President of the United States), was the first.</ref>.
 
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* [[Compensating for Something]]: Trump's resurgence in business which was symbolized by the, erm...[[All Psychology Is Freudian|erection]] of a 68-story Trump Tower in Manhattan's Upper East Side. Trump was so happy with the finished product, he sprouted '''more''' "Trump Towers" in major cities throughout the U.S., including one which looms directly over the U.N. Headquarters. Now you ''can't'' ignore his girth.
** Also while on the campaign trail, he assured America that despite his small hands, he had "no problems in that department".
* [[Didn't Think This Through]]: His first assassination attempt. Michael Steven Sandford, a illegal immigrant from the UK who had only just learned the bare minimum of shooting (having fired a mere 20 rounds, not even two full magazines. Presumably as it is the smallest unit of ammo that can be purchased new) at a Vegas range, attempted to grab a cop's gun and shoot Trump only to be stopped cold bybecause the nowcop, universallylike standardalmost all of the ones in the country, used a retention holster. This attempt was so poorly thought out the court considered (though rejected) a halfway house over no bail for an assassination attempt on a presidential candidate.
* [[Dodgy Toupee]]: Often when someone wants to make a sketch or joke about Donald Trump they may take the easy angle and mock the obvious toupee. ''[[Meet the Spartans]]'' did this where [[Catch Phrase|he fires]] Spiderman and cuts his web but he sticks it back onto his head and pulls the wig off.
** Lisa Lampanelli did this funnier than anyone: "What do you say to a barber to get him to cut your hair like that? I fucked your daughter?"
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