Double Standard Abuse (Female on Male): Difference between revisions

Note that this trope does ''not'' describe situations where violence is genuinely adequately [[Justified]], nor in situations where universal humorous abuse is delivered to the [[Butt Monkey]] or [[The Chew Toy]] by both men and women for equally flimsy reasons -- that is just [[Comedic Sociopathy]]. Obviously, it likewise doesn't apply in situations where female-on-male violence is treated as a serious subject.

** And in ''[[Inuyasha]]'', she largely dispenses with [[Megaton Punch|Megaton Punches]], and presents instead a simple scenario: a half-demon, wearing a cursed necklace which allows their master to force to the ground the one who wears it with a single word and as the series goes on this ability is often used for even minor transgressions. [[Genre Savvy|Given the page you're reading]], no points for guessing that it's a male half-demon, a female who controls the collar that frequently uses it over romantic angst, and that it is played for comedy.

* While this trope is generally played straight in ''[[Daily Lives of High School Boys]]'', but in the case of {{spoiler|the [[Retired Outlaw|former]] [[Enfant Terrible]]-grade [[The Bully|bully]] "Archdemon" Habara}}, it was [[Deconstructed]]-- it is a ''very'' serious business, indeed, especially when the she is clearly [[Heel Realization|quite traumatized about what she did]], not to say {{spoiler|her social life with ''any'' teenage boys in town has been ''completely ruined'' because of her her previous acts}}. Karasawa, her next-door neighbour and came up the worst off of her victims, harbours ''both'' a ''grudge'' and a ''phobia'' towards her.

* ''[[The Dark Elf Trilogy]]'' ultimately averts this. The society of the drow (dark elves) is built upon the concept of females being blameless and superior, while males are intrinsically worthless; abuse is not only accepted, but ''actively encouraged'' to keep the males in their place. However, drow are one of the setting's [[Always Chaotic Evil|most notoriously evil races]], and the writing makes it clear that this is one of the chief reasons ''why''.

* In [[L. Frank Baum]]'s ''[[The Marvelous Land of Oz]]'', Jinjur tried to take over the country. She has a cameo in a later book, placidly explaining that she is content with her quiet life with her husband -- and her husband is nursing a black eye because he had milked the cows in an order she did not approve of.

* ''[[Two and A Half Men]]'' plays this trope shamelessly straight with Alan and Charlie's mother who virtually exists to criticize and berate them at every opportunity. But then again, this ''is'' ''[[Two and A Half Men]]'' we're talking about, and it has no shortage of [[Double Standard|Double Standards]] against both sexes, so...

* Played brutally straight in the TV miniseries ''Betty Broderick''. The title character spends several YEARS stalking, harassing and terrorizing her [[Jerkass]] ex-husband and his new wife before finally shooting them dead. But Betty's behavior is somehow justified because her husband dumped her for another woman and SHE is the one made out to be the victim/heroine in the ensuing murder trial. The fact that Ms. Broderick was played by Meredith Baxter Birney also makes it [[Hilarious in Hindsight]]--Birney herself probably wouldn't have minded.

* In one episode of ''[[Fresh Prince of Bel Air]]'', Will goes on a date with a pretty girl who at first seems rather sweet. However, at the restaurant, she completely changes, speaking to him in a rude, snide voice, she tells him where they will go to college, what jobs they will both have, ''how many kids they will have and what genders'', she tells him what to eat and what ''not'' to eat (saying that if he orders cottage cheese now he'll have a heart attack at middle age and leave her with the kids), and when he looks at the waitress to place his order, she yells at both him ''and'' the waitress. Later, she chooses his wardrobe and buys him a beeper with the obvious intent of keeping track of him 24/7 (in real life, behavior like this is a ''huge'' indicator of an abusive relationship). When Will tells his aunt and uncle about this, they shrug it off, saying that the dictating what jobs and how many children they'll have is a sign that she has goals, and her getting angry over him looking at another girl, and telling him what he can and can't eat is just proof that she doesn't want to lose him. By the episode's end, she's hanging on his every word, eagerly promising to handwrite his class notes and send out his mail--and with one disapproving look from him, apologizing and quickly saying she'll deliver it ''door to door''. This has major [[Unfortunate Implications]]: Will is told, after the girl becomes Carlton's doormat, that when a girl acts abusive like she did, it's his job to "man up", and show her who the man is in the relationship. Overall, the way it's delivered comes off as more "it's your fault if you're abused because you didn't yell at your abuser enough."

* ''[[Law and Order Special Victims Unit]]'', of all the things. Although there are exceptions, an example of this is "Taboo" - in which [[Squick|a man and his twenty-year-old daughter]] were having an affair. Despite their protests that it was consensual (arguable but near impossible to prove) and the DA's assurances that it was [[Crosses the Line Twice|a relatively low-level crime]], Anvilicious Olivia Benson went storming around determined to prosecute the man for incest (ignoring the fact that the adult woman would also have to be prosecuted), attempting to browbeat the girl into admitting that he raped her and had knowledge of the two children of theirs she killed (which he didn't). She even yelled, "SO ELLA [the woman] GETS ATTEMPTED MURDER AND HE GETS OFF?" at one point -- well, yes, Olivia, that is what happens when a woman commits infanticide.

* In the fourth episode of ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]'' Ted dates a girl who, it transpires, studies Krav Maga. Granted, he acts like a jerk towards her, but the public beating she doles out to him at the episode's end - during which no one in the crowded restaurant attempts to help or intervene - is hardly justified. To make matters worse, when he tells his friends, ''and even his children'', what happened, all any of them do is laugh because he 'got beat [sic] up by a girl'. Even worse, in the 21st episode of the fifth season Ted reveals that the crowd in the restaurant ''cheered her on''. Furthermore, for anyone who knows a little about Krav Maga, an Israeli martial art. The premise behind it is that, in a real fight, no quarter is given to the enemy. You fight to inflict maximum pain and damage in order to accomplish your goal and ensure your safety. Everything is permitted, including eye-gouching and [[Groin Attack|Groin Attacks]].

* When [[Florence and the Machine]]'s "Kiss With A Fist" came out, a number of critics condemned it for its [[Romanticized Abuse]] overtones -- fair enough, except that they all seemed to see the female singer as the poor, innocent victim, despite the fact that she's clearly giving as good as she gets (she hits him, slaps him, sets fire to his bed, breaks his jaw...).

** WWE itself had this as a standard for years after it went mainstream, exploiting it to the max--merely threatening a woman was a way to create instant heel heat. Then they exploited it again when they introduced Chyna, who intentionally used this trope to smack around male wrestlers without repercussion.

* In ''[[Persona 3]]'', Ryoji and Junpei joke around about staying in the hot springs past the allotted time for men, even though they actually panic when girls start coming in for real. When they hear [[The Ojou|Mitsuru]] come in also, Akihiko all but freaks out, saying that she'd give them all a [[Fate Worse Than Death]] if she catches them in the hot spring --the same Akihiko that is otherwise fearless (bordering on [[Blood Knight]]) when facing [[Eldritch Abominations]] in an [[Eldritch Location]] every night and has been Mitsuru's best and oldest friend for ''years''. When Junpei says that they'd just explain and apologize to the girls, Akihiko insists that it wouldn't matter to Mitsuru, she would "execute them" anyway. And indeed, if you fail to escape after a stealth-action minigame ensues, the girls are righteously enraged by the guys' presence and Mitsuru follows through with this "[[Noodle Incident|execution]]" that reduces all men to quivering wrecks by the next day, and has the girls either berating them or giving them the silent treatment for at least the following week.

* Discussed in ''[[Misfile]]''. One day at school, Ash, a ''very'' reluctant male-to-female [[Gender Bender]], punches a long-standing male rival in response to extreme -- but purely ''verbal'' -- provocation. A physical confrontation results, and the rival gets a severe punishment, while Ash gets off very lightly. Ash irritably notes that this is [[Double Standard|completely unfair]], since ''he'' threw the first punch, and was only treated differently because he is "female". Ash is upset both about yet another reminder that he's "a girl", ''and'' the sexist [[Double Standard]] .

* In the animated adaptation of ''[[Wayside School]]'', Maurecia, an [[Action Girl]] with a crush on [[Only Sane Man]] (and [[Butt Monkey]]) Todd, hits her love interest with an unprovoked [[Megaton Punch]] every chance she gets. She never gets in trouble for this, even when a teacher has seen what happened -- although ''Todd'' sometimes does. The punches are implied to be something like a sign of Maurecia's affection, or her confusion about her own feelings, and in either case, totally harmless. Although Todd always rebuffs Maurecia's romantic advances (the ''only'' way in which [[Unfortunate Implications|he "provokes" the abuse]]), he still considers her a friend, spends a lot of time around her, and never, ''ever'' complains to a teacher about getting [[Punched Across the Room]]. And this is all in a series [[Family-Unfriendly Aesop|aimed at children]]...

* A non-romantic example: The way Gaz treats her older brother, Dib, on ''[[Invader Zim]]''. Early episodes just portrayed her as threatening him but never doing much, but by the second season she had been [[Flanderization|Flanderized]] into beating him savagely for minor deeds, and [[Fan Fiction]] took ''that'' even farther and made her into a [[God Mode Sue]] [[Jerk Sue]]. Though Dib is only a year older than her and Gaz is ''clearly'' stronger than any normal child her age could be, the idea of her beating him in ways as bad or worse than an adult could are rarely played for anything but laughs. There is a small but vocal [[Hatedom]] of Gaz for this very reason, which often produce a genre of [[Fix Fic|Fix Fics]] where Gaz suffers in some way for her actions. It also doesn't help that between their [[Missing Mom|lack of a mom]], [[Disappeared Dad|their dad being at the lab all the time and usually only communicating with his kids through a screen]], and [[Adults Are Useless|the authority figures at their school being totally worthless]], there really isn't anyone who seems willing to correct her behavior.

** There was an advice column letter in ''The Toronto Star'' a few years ago on this very subject. A male abuse victim wrote in saying that his wife would often punch him during arguments, and that he didn't know what to do. He also mentioned he had several male friends who suffered abuse from their wives or girlfriends as well, including one who was ''put in the hospital as a result''. None of them seem to have even considered going to the police, or ''leaving''. And the letter really, ''really'' heavily emphasized that the man would never hit his wife -- he repeated this point so many times, the letter almost sounded like ''he'' was the one apologizing for something. So, the (female) columnist's advice? "Remember that your wife might be under a lot of pressure at work, ''avoid assigning blame'', and consider couples therapy."

* An indirect form of this trope comes in the form of "AdviceMama" Susan Stiffelman. A man who identified himself as "Facebook Father" father sent her a letter asking for advice about his ex-wife setting up Facebook accounts for their two kids (''neither a teen yet'', which is ''against Facebook rules''), making them look older than they really are, teaching them to [[Moral Dissonance|screw ethics]] and break rules to get ahead, and cutting him off from talking to them online because he complains about it. Rather than the obvious courses of action involving emailing Facebook, going to court, and saving and printing out all pages involved for evidence, Stiffelman's advice is the equivalent of [[Family-Unfriendly Aesop|inverse morality]] -- namely, that ''he'', the concerned father who actually wants to be a part of his kids' lives and teach them to do right, should walk on eggshells and try to go around to guide ''her'', the sociopath using custody to teach her kids to be [[Manipulative Bastard|Manipulative Bastards]] while endearing them to sex offenders, down the path of righteousness so as not to offend ''her''. You can imagine someone who calls herself "AdviceMama" wouldn't have recommended such a passive, downright submissive route if it were the big bad host ''father'' corrupting the concerned ''mother'''s children.