Dragon Ball Z Abridged/Funny: Difference between revisions

{{quote| '''Farmer''': (notices spaceship crash on his farm in the distance) OH GOD NO, MY MARIJUANA PATCH! I mean uhhh, my carrot patch. Uh... YEAH.(approaches crashed spaceship) Guess I'll do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation (pulls out rifle): GIT MAH GUN! (Notices Raditz getting out of his ship) HOLY CRAP, IT'S [[Sonic the Hedgehog|SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!]] Oh wait, no... Its an alien! HOLY S***, IT'S AN ALIEN!<br />

** For added hilarity, this troper always thought he said "a pool." Because it seemed like something Raditz would have said, with Bardock looking frustrated and annoyed at him.

{{quote| '''Goku:''' So what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?<br />

'''Raditz:'''The...the Dragon's what?<br />

'''Goku:''' The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them? They grant you any wish you want? Like immortality.<br />

'''Oolong:''' Or Bulma's panties.<br />

[''Cut to some alien bug planet'']<br />

'''Nappa:''' Hey Vegeta did you hear that?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Oh yeah, we're totally going to go to Earth to get our wish.<br />

'''Nappa''': Yeah we're going to get panties!... I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant. Right Vegeta?<br />

**

{{quote| '''Bulma:''' Hey I'm here.<br />

'''Krillin:''' BOOBS! I mean, Bulma... Hi!<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo:''' Why should I help you?<br />

'''Goku:''' I'll friend you on [[My SpaceMyspace]].<br />

(beat, followed by a cut to the two flying)<br />

{{quote| '''Raditz:''' Aha! Attacking an opponent up to four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy... no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?<br />

'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') Retarded?<br />

'''Raditz:''' That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I-<br />

'''Goku:''' Ah- [he's] a ''Yoshi.''<br />

'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!<br />

'''Goku:''' But you said you were!<br />

'''Piccolo:''' (''offscreen'') It's called ''sarcasm!''<br />

'''Goku:''' What's ''that'' taste like?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' Holy crap. ''(cheerfully)'': I'm not the first person to die in this series!<br />

'''Roshi:''' Krillin!<br />

'''Krillin:''' What?<br />

{{quote| '''King Yemma:''' And not just ''any'' mahogany! But mahogany from the planet of Malchior 7! Where the trees are 300 feet tall and breathe ''fire!'' From these trees this desk was forged 2,000 years ago, using ancient blood rituals of the ancient Malchior people! Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructable, ''but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself!'' Also, it's a very fine material. Very expensive.<br />

'''Kami:''' Oh...kay.<br />

** As well as her earlier spying on a naked Goku...[[Metal Gear Solid|while hiding in]] [[Memetic Mutation|a cardboard box]].

{{quote| '''Goku:''' Have you guys seen my brother Raditz around here? Spiky hair...tail?<br />

'''Mez:''' Ach, yes, he made a horrible mess of ze blood fountain.<br />

'''Goku:''' Looks fine to me.<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': Nail... Nail!<br />

'''Nail''': What is it, Lord Guru?<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': ''NAAAIL!''<br />

'''Nail'''(obviously angry): WHAT!<br />

{{quote| '''Arlian''': You have freed our race! We shall erect statues of you...<br />

'''Nappa''': Well, isn't that nice of them, Vegeta?<br />

'''Arlian''': ...Out of our dung!<br />

'''Nappa''': (beat) Well, isn't that nice of them, Vege-<br />

'''Vegeta''': We're leaving, Nappa.<br />

{{quote| '''Kami''': Mr. Popo, where did you send them?<br />

{{quote| '''Popo''': Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order: it goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami; and Popo. Any questions?<br />

{{quote| '''Kami''': Mr.Popo, what are you watering?<br />

'''Mr.Popo''': Pot.<br />

'''Kami''': Pots of what?<br />

'''Mr.Popo''': Pot. (beat) I'm not getting rid of it.<br />

{{quote| Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks ([[Suspiciously Specific Denial|not deathball thrown by Freeza]]). Ahahahahahahaha! P.S.: Freeza rules you!}}

{{quote| [[Foreshadowing|You're all going to die]].}}

{{quote| '''Nappa:''' Look, Vegeta! A Namekian!<br />

'''Krillin:''' Hey, I take offense to that!<br />

'''Piccolo:''' He was referring to ''me'', you idiot! And it's not a insult. The Namekians are a fine, proud race of...<br />

'''Nappa:''' That means he doesn't have a penis.<br />

(Vegeta and Nappa snicker off-screen, as Piccolo stands embarrassed.)<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' Wait a second! ''[[Brick Joke|Namekians don't HAVE penises!]]''}}

{{quote| '''Nail:''' Well Sir, if you're having a problem with our Customer Support you can call 1-800-eat-a-d*ck!<br />

{{quote| '''Nail''': Ahh, if we had junk you'd be gay right now!}}

{{quote| '''Nappa''': Vegeta!<br />

'''Vegeta''': What is it, Nappa!?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': (With Nappa charging towards him) Wait, myturnmyturnMYTURN!<br />

'''Nappa''': (stops dead in his tracks)<br />

'''Vegeta''': Nappa, what are you doing?<br />

'''Nappa''': It's his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.<br />

'''Vegeta''': Wha... I... uh... (nose starts to bleed)<br />

'''Nappa''': You okay, Vegeta?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Yes... just... just having an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.<br />

'''Nappa''': Oh. (beat) I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.<br />

'''Vegeta''': AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHGHHHH!!!!!!!<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': HEY! Stop treating me like a joke dammit! I've got a new technique-- which I probably could've used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives-- but that's beside the point! (charging a disc of energy in his hand) Get ready for my '''destructo disc!'''<br />

'''Picollo''': (barely alive) Laaame.<br />

'''Krillin''': Now, take THIS! (throws the disc at an angle, where it grinds across the ground before heading towards Nappa and Vegeta)<br />

'''Nappa''': Oooh! A frisbee Vegeta!<br />

'''Vegeta''': Nappa, no! It's a trick!<br />

'''Nappa''': But Vegeta... tricks are for kids.<br />

'''Vegeta''': ... You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.<br />

'''Nappa''': Yay, like a doggy! (gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan:''' [[Sophisticated As Hell|I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!]]<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' Breath, Gohan! You're a leaf. A leaf in a calm stream!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Where's Chaotzu?<br />

'''Krillin''': Oh, he's here... and there... and there... and there... and-<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa''': Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?!<br />

'''Vegeta''': It's... one thousand and six.<br />

'''Nappa''': ...Really?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Yeah. Kick his ass, Nappa!<br />

'''Nappa''': Yaaaaay!<br />

(''Nappa gets his ass handed to him by Goku'')<br />

'''Nappa''': (''while Vegeta is delivering the below lines'') My arm doesn't bend that way! MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY! '''*snap*''' Aaw, now it does!<br />

'''Vegeta''': Hmmm... that doesn't seem right... wait, wait, wait wait! Nappa!<br />

'''Nappa''': (''collapses at Vegeta's feet'') Whaaaaat?!<br />

'''Vegeta''': I had the Scouter upside down. It's [[Over Nine Thousand|over nine thousand]]. (''calmly crushes Scouter'') Rah.<br />

'''Nappa''': Why do you sound so bored?!<br />

'''Vegeta''': Because he's ''still'' not a threat.<br />

'''Nappa''': But-<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa''': Hey Vegeta, I'm a-firin' my '''BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!'''}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Are you okay in there?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Yeah, I'm fan-f***ing-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.<br />

'''Goku:''' Oh, really? Can I come in too?<br />

'''Vegeta''': ...I'm surrounded by idiots.<br />

'''Goku''': I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': What's going on, guys? We won, right?}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': It's like you're beef jerky and I'm Filet Mignon.<br />

'''Goku''': I like both those things!<br />

{{quote| (Oozaru!Vegeta has Goku in his grasp)<br />

'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' Alright, Kakarot! Let's hear those bones shatter! (squeezes harder)<br />

'''Goku:''' *squeaky*<br />

'''Oozaru!Vegeta:''' ...What the?<br />

'''Goku:''' *squeaky*<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Gohan, this is daddy. I know you angry right now but you have to focus your anger.  R-remember Icarus? (shows Icarus and explosion) He did it.<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': "They've broken my body... I've failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but, at least... [[It Can't Get Any Worse|it can't get any worse... from here...]]"<br />

* Goku hits his head harder than he thought and believed he was in the [[Dragon BallDragonball Evolution]] continuity.

{{quote| '''Goku''': Man, this is worse than [[Dragon BallDragonball Evolution|that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and...]] Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET KAKAROT!!<br />

'''Goku''': Hey, that's not very nice!"<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken? (Crushes Goku's legs) CHRISTOPHER REEVE!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' I'm going to obliterate you, and the rest of this planet myself with my own two-<br />

'''Goku''': KAIO-KEN!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Kaio-what? ([[Talk to Thethe Fist|Punched repeatedly in the face]], before breaking away the combo with a kick to the chin) Okay... not bad... but still nothing compared to me! }}

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' I told you Kakarot! There's no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You're fighting a losing battle here. You might as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and-<br />

'''Goku''': KAIOKEN TIMES THREE!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' This is the end Kakarot! You don't stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! Now perish... WITH THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC WORLD!<br />

'''Goku''': KAIOKEN...<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' [[Atomic F-Bomb|-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK]].}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Kaio Ken!<br />

'''Bardock''': (Back in his own time) Kaio what? ([[Talk to Thethe Fist|Punched in the face]] by something completely different) }}

{{quote| '''Ginyu (in Goku's body)''': This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?!<br />

'''Goku (in Ginyu's body)''': Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques!<br />

'''Ginyu''': What techniques? Tell me!<br />

'''Goku''': I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken!<br />

{{quote| "AAAAH. My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Freeza in the shower. Wait a minute, Freeza's always naked - AAAAAAGGGGHHH!}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''':" Again with the f***ing eye!!"<br />

{{quote| Vegeta: Now watch, Kakarrot, as your life becomes inconsequential, as I reveal my GIANT MONKEY-<br />

Crowd: (gasp)<br />

{{quote| '''Chi Chi:''' Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere.<br />

'''Gohan:''' Actually... Mom... I'm going to Namek.<br />

'''Chi Chi (strained):''' As... I... Said. My little boy (now angry) ISN'T... GOING... ANYWHERE!!<br />

'''Gohan:''' But, mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility!<br />

'''Chi Chi:''' Gohan, ''I'' am your ''mother!'' And as your ''mother,'' you will listen to me and you will do as I say!<br />

'''Gohan:''' But that's not...<br />

'''Chi Chi:''' Did ''you'' carry around a baby in you for nine months...'''WITH A MAN WHO LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CINNA-BUNS HIDDEN IN YOUR SHIRT?!'''<br />

'''Gohan:''' But I...<br />

'''Chi Chi:''' Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, '''AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL...!'''<br />

'''Gohan (pissed):''' '''''SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!'''''<br />

'''(Pause)'''<br />

'''Gohan (calm):''' I'll be going to Namek now.<br />

{{quote| '''Mr. Popo:''' "MAKIN' TOAST! [...] BUTTERIN' TOAST!"}}

{{quote| Krillin: Krillin's Log, stardate...uh...November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now, and I'm starting to feel very tensed up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing ''but her underwear!'' I would relieve this tension, but I've had no alone time '''SINCE THE TOLIET KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!''' I'm not sure how much longer I can last...<br />

Bulma: Krillin, are you saying something?<br />

{{quote| That's impossible, my transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was... (eyes focus, cuts away to him riding a space pod screaming:) '''[[Spanner in Thethe Works|GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]'''!}}

{{quote| ''(After successfully hiding from the onslaught of Freeza's forces.)''<br />

{{quote| Bulma: "Oh God, it's everywhere!!"<br />

{{quote| '''Narrator:''' A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies, and do Gohan and Krillen stand a chance? The answers to these questions will be revealed... right now. Zarbon, Dadoria, Freeza, and [[Understatement|Oh My, No.]]<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' [[It Makes Sense in Context|QUACK!!]]}}

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' Well Vegeta, you've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely... With some help, I see...<br />

'''Krillin:''' QUACK!<br />

'''Gohan:''' Krillin, seriously not helping.<br />

{{quote| '''Namekian Elder: ''' "Why are you here? Why are you killing our people?"<br />

'''Freeza: ''' "Well I was just in the neighborhood, thought this was a lovely place for a summer home- Oh what the f*** do you think I'm here for!?"<br />

'''Namekian Elder: ''' "Our Trees?"<br />

'''Freeza: ''' "...Zarbon, two or three more."<br />

'''Zarbon: ''' "Two or three more?"<br />

{{quote| '''Namekian:''' We're going... to... f*** your face!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': [[Flat What|What]].<br />

{{quote| ''' {{spoiler|Dodoria}}''': And that's why I was considered the most beautiful, '''and''' fertile, woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up.<br />

Later...<br />

{{quote| '''Guru:''' "Nail, I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass cheek."<br />

[...]<br />

'''Guru''': ''[seeing Krillin]'' Naaaaaail. There is an albino Namekian in here. Kill it like the rest.<br />

'''Krillin''': Actually sir, I'm from Earth.<br />

'''Guru''': ...Kill it like the rest.<br />

[...]<br />

'''Guru:''' [Take the Dragon Ball]. Just don't steal the TV.<br />

'''Nail''': Sir, we... we don't have a television.<br />

'''Guru''': .... Naaaaail. Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.<br />

'''Nail''': Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their power.<br />

'''Guru:''' I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heeeeaaaad!<br />

[...]<br />

'''Guru''': So, the son of Katat has passed. Unfortunate.<br />

'''Krillin''': We just called him 'Kami'.<br />

'''Guru:''' Oh, so he calls himself 'God'. Pretentious prick. Nail.<br />

'''Nail''': What?<br />

'''Guru''': I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.<br />

'''Nail''': Yes, Super Kami.<br />

'''Guru''': No, wait- Super Kami Guru.<br />

'''Nail''': Can I just call you Guru for short?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' Aw, you made a friend, Little Green? Oh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!<br />

'''Nail:''' Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.<br />

'''Krillin:''' With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.<br />

'''Nail:''' Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-<br />

'''Guru:''' BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' I've got a lovely bunch of dragon balls, dodododoodo, here they are all sitting in a bunch, do doo do. One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give em a toss, a planet across, that's how Vegeta wins BU-BYE!}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' Later, bitches. *awoooga! awoooga!*}}

** The glorious return of Ghost Nappa:

{{quote| '''Ghost Nappa'': (whistles) Is this thing on? Is it on? (tuning noises) OK, there we go! A-HA-HEM!! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.}}

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' Ginyu, quick; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one!<br />

'''Zarbon:''' Lord Freeza! Vegeta's really giving us a pounding!<br />

'''Freeza:''' I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls!<br />

** Bulma [[Distracted Byby the Sexy|being distracted]] by Zarbon.

{{quote| '''Bulma:''' Oh my God he's so hot! I just want to grab him and --<br />

(Cut to Goku doing upside-down crunches)<br />

'''Goku:''' -sixty nine, seventy, seventy-<br />

** Then Bulma's reaction to transformed Zarbon: [[Kill It Withwith Fire|KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!]]

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were- ...never mind.<br />

'''Zarbon''': What? You thought I was single?<br />

'''Freeza''': Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter.<br />

'''Zarbon''': Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was-<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Let me put this in a way you'll understand; I'm about to blow my load all over your insides.<br />

'''Zarbon''': What the-<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': '''F'''reaky '''A'''lien '''G'''enotype.}}

{{quote| '''Freeza''': '''''APPULE'''''?! You left ''Appule'' here?!<br />

'''Zarbon''': Well I thought he could handle it!<br />

{{quote| '''King Kai''': Hello Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is [[George Takei]] again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Oh all right. I absolutely ''promise'' not to...click beeeeeeeeeeeeeee...<br />

'''King Kai''': What the-<br />

'''Goku''':...eeeeeeee *gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-<br />

'''King Kai''': He... he hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?!? Damn it, I'll call him back! *dialing sounds* Goku, I swear to god I will ride your ass on this one!<br />

'''[[George Takei]]''': '''Oh my!'''<br />

{{quote| '''Zarbon''': Why isn't he naked?<br />

{{quote| '''Dende:''' Guru sir, I have a question.<br />

'''Guru:''' Ask away. <br />

'''Dende:''' You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?<br />

'''Guru:''' I am this many. [doesn't move]<br />

'''Dende:''' You didn't raise your hand.<br />

{{quote| '''Trunks''': Daddy?}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' God, I love it when a plan comes together! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here...riiiight here... Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere... All right, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them up it's going to be right here- it's not here. Why isn't it here!? I don't get it! Who could've-?! The kid! But, how could he have found it, it was- Wait. That watch...that watch wasn't a watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator! Which means...''which means...!''<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan:''' So, uh, can I help you?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... But maybe I can help you.<br />

'''Gohan:''' Uh... I need an adult...<br />

'''Vegeta:''' I am an adult. (Knees him in the stomach)<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Gohan, I'll be getting you to Guru's now.<br />

'''Gohan''': What? Why?<br />

'''Krillin''': So the old man can touch you, and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.<br />

'''Gohan''': ...I need an adult?<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': Now, relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.<br />

'''Gohan''': I... need an adul-<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan''': Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me.<br />

{{quote| '''Nail''': Hello? Can I ... help you with something?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble.<br />

'''Nail:''' Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'cause I really hope it is.<br />

'''Vegeta:''' (laughs) Oh trust me, you don't want any of what I am now.<br />

'''Nail:''' Then come on, bring on all four feet of you. Or should I count your stupid hair?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Pretty big talk coming from a bipedal slug.<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': (In response to why he didn't stop Vegeta from taking a Dragon Ball) I don't know! Maybe you could've '''''bitched''''' at him! How 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your '''''bitch fu''''' on him? Bulma, the mistress of '''''bitching''''', that's what they should call you!}}

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Seriously! Five ancient sages of '''''bitchdom''''' all gathered one day on the peaks of Mount '''''Bitch''''' to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the '''''bitch''''' stars have aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because '''''[[ThisPunctuated! IsFor! SpartaEmphasis!|YOU! ARE SUCH! A BITCH!]]'''''}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Besides Freeza, I'm the most powerful being on this planet! [[Tempting Fate|Bar none.]]<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': I-am-here-for-''it''.<br />

'''Krillin''': For what?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Dragon- '''ball'''. I- need- that Dragonball. ''Give it to me''. The-one-you-took. I Need my wish.<br />

'''Krillin''': ''(scared)'' Are... you okay?<br />

'''Ghost Nappa''': I think your rage broke Vegeta.<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''''SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA!'''''<br />

'''Krillin''': What was that?<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''I'MNOTCRAZY!!''' '''''YOU'RE''''' CRAZY! Especially ''you'', Nappa!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' I'm going to pay him a... uh... what do you call it?<br />

'''Krillin:''' A visit?<br />

{{quote| '''Beer''': No, it's too early to get crunk.<br />

'''Powerthirst''': Ehh, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.<br />

'''Peanuts''': Ha ha, I can't drink these, these are nuts!<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': Naaaaaail!!! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like (gagging and slurping noises)<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan''': You guys, I think we should move to a new location.<br />

'''Krillin''': Why? What's wrong with this place?<br />

'''Gohan''': Because we have ten minutes before Vegeta finds out I stole this (Dragonball)<br />

{{quote| '''Bulma:''' Oh no, no no ''no!'' I am not letting yo abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!<br />

'''Krillin:''' Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return...we'relettingyouwatchthedragonballbye! ''(He and Gohan fly off)''<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' When did you have time to set this up?! Is- is that a camera? What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!<br />

* Vegeta sounding like [[The Man Your Man Could Smell Like (Advertising)|The Man Your Man Could Smell Like]].

{{quote| '''Vegeta''' Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, ''now back to me.'' I am not your men! I'm flipping you off! Look at the ground, back to me. Where is the Dragonball? It's gone! I threw it! And there's not a damn thing you can-<br />

''(Burter returns the Dragon Ball to Ginyu)''<br />

'''Burter''': Here you go, boss.<br />

'''Ginyu''': Thank you, Burter.<br />

'''Burter''': It's what I do!<br />

'''Vegeta''': But... I... ''I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could''!<br />

'''Burter''': Oh, you can't beat my speed! I'm the fastest in the universe!<br />

{{quote| '''Super Kami Guru''': Naaaaaaaiiillll! Slap him.<br />

(Slap is heard)<br />

'''Krillin''': Ow!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': [[Flat What|What.]]<br />

{{quote| '''Ginyu''': Supposedly there are seven (Dragon Balls) in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are-?<br />

'''Krillin''': (scared, shouts out quickly) RIGHT-BEHIND-YOU!<br />

'''Vegeta''': My '''GOD''' man, you just can not-!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta (with a menacing tone):''' Hello, Earth woman.<br />

(Bulma stammers with fear.)<br />

'''Vegeta:''' You know what I want. Now, give it to me!<br />

'''Bulma (scared):''' The... the Dragonball's right there.<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Oh, I'm not here for the Dragonball.<br />

'''Bulma:''' Wha... what?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' '''''Spread 'em!'''''<br />

(Bulma, with fear, prepares herself, then falls down back to reality as Krillin unties the Dragonball to her foot.)<br />

'''Krillin (with a quick tone):''' Takin' the Dragonball! Bitch at me later! (flies off)<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Your hair looks stupid! (flies off)<br />

'''Gohan:''' Sorry, Bulma! (flies off)<br />

* Krillin on the receiving end of [[Jo JoJoJo's Bizarre Adventure (Manga)|Za Warudo.]]

{{quote| '''Krillin''' Gohan! Did you see? His power, he can-!<br />

'''Gohan''' Stop time?<br />

{{quote| "Son of a g{{spoiler|um}}-{{spoiler|chewing}} fu{{spoiler|n}}k monster! Why the f{{spoiler|ruit}} does all this fu{{spoiler|nny}} s{{spoiler|tuff}} happen to me? F{{spoiler|orget}} my life! Always surrounded by m{{spoiler|iserable}} f{{spoiler|ail}}ing c{{spoiler|lods}}! It's like this whole world just likes to bend me over and f{{spoiler|ind}} me in the A{{spoiler|lp}}s! Like I'm some sort of sh {{spoiler|lock}} receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable c{{spoiler|ow}}s can have a f{{spoiler|ancy barbecue}}, WITH A '''GODDAMN PIG'''!"<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' Throw dog biscuits at him.<br />

'''Krillin:''' How will that help?<br />

{{quote| '''Guldo''': ...I '''''f***ing hate you'''''.<br />

{{quote| '''Jeice:''' Oy... is that Guldo? I think he's dead!<br />

'''Recoome:''' How tragic.<br />

[[Beat]]<br />

'''Burter:''' Not telling the captain, 1-2-3, not it!<br />

'''Recoome:''' Not it!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Wrestling's fake. (boos and jeers) Oh, go to hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit ''my'' music.<br />

*''[[Dragon Ball GT]]'' [[Theme Tune Rap]] plays*<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' HELLO GOHAN, HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T CHI CHI WILL ''KICK'' MY ASS!<br />

'''Gohan:''' Ah, are you okay?<br />

'''Krillin:''' Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack, there. Can't quite feel the pain!<br />

''(Beat)''<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': (monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper.<br />

'''Nail''': Lord Guru...<br />

* "Silly Vegeta! [[NoWon't SellWork On Me|The only thing Recoome sells]], is merchandise!" *Cue images of merchandise with Recoome on them popping up, including a vibrator with his head*

{{quote| '''Recoome''': ''(his mouth is all messed up)'' Can Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.<br />

** Jeice can't rely on his squadmates either:

{{quote| '''Jeice''': Alright, you bastard! Prepare to face the wrath of the Ginyu For*punch* AHH! You goddamn wanker! You punched me right in the*punch* Ah, he did it again! *punch* Ahh! Stop it! Stop it! *punch* '''PISS!!!''' Oh... what would the captain do in this situation?!<br />

'''Ginyu''': Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to*punch*<br />

'''Jeice''': Oh, he cut off the captain!<br />

'''Goku''': So, are you going to ''dodge'' any of these?<br />

'''Jeice''': Ohhh, THAT'S what the Captain*punch* ''BURTER! SUPPORT!!''<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': ''(After Ginyu has brought him the Dragon balls and finished the Dance of Joy, which was authorized by Freeza's father) ''Now, let's wish me some immortality!<br />

'''Ginyu''': Not quite yet, Lord Freeza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance!<br />

'''Freeza''': ''(indignant)'' My father would command no such thing!<br />

'''Ginyu''': You are correct, Lord Freeza!<br />

'''Freeza''': Very well.<br />

'''Ginyu''': It was your brother!<br />

{{quote| '''Ginyu''': "Might I suggest the dance of cheering you up?"<br />

* "You think that's bad? If you hit 'em hard enough you can play a song." Cue Vegeta playing the Tetris theme by repeatedly kneeing Burter in the throat.

* Vegeta's excuse about being so beat up:

{{quote| '''Goku''': So Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy? (talking about Recoome)<br />

'''Recoome''': *groaning in pain*<br />

'''Vegeta''': (stammering) Uhhh no...I..umm...uh..<br />

'''Ghost Nappa''': You fell down some stairs.<br />

'''Vegeta''': I fell down some stairs.<br />

'''Krillin''': No you didn't, you-<br />

** Also from 22:

{{quote| '''Guru''': NNAAAAAIIIILLLL! Do we have a visitor?<br />

'''Nail''': Yes sir.<br />

'''Guru''': NNNNAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Take his coat.<br />

'''Freeza''': I don't have a coat.<br />

'''Nail''': He doesn't have a coat sir. ''[looks at Freeza]'' And I believe this is the guy who basically just killed our whole race.<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': "When the dragon balls are all put together, the sky grows darker than the blackest void!"<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': (passing Dende) "Good afternoon."<br />

'''Dende''': "It's morning. (Douche.)"<br />

{{quote| '''Jeice''': That's him, Captain! That's the one who beat us up!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': You see, I recently acquired what you people referred to as Dragon Balls, but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.<br />

{{quote| '''Guru''': Naaail, what does he want?<br />

'''Nail''': He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls.<br />

'''Guru''': Did you tell him to try working the shaft?<br />

'''Nail''': Yes, Lord Guru. <br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Good Lord! I was lead to believe your species survived almost entirely on water! How is he so fat?!<br />

** [[Fridge Logic|That's]]... [[Fridge Logic|a good question, actually]].

{{quote| '''Captain Ginyu''': Did (Recoome) at least die with dignity?<br />

(Cut to Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.)<br />

{{quote| '''Jeice:''' Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... ya know...<br />

'''Ginyu:''' Jeice! This is hardly the time nor the place. Besides, [[A Date Withwith Rosie Palms|I already did it in the pod]] [[Brick Joke|on the way here]].<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan:''' Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls.<br />

'''Krillin:''' Maybe if I sing to it. ''I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves-''<br />

'''Gohan''': -Actually Krillin I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language.<br />

{{quote| '''Bulma''': Why?! Why would you leave me alone here?! I don't know this place! Did you know there are [[Giant Enemy Crab|giant crabs]] [[Double Entendre|down there]]?! I do! I KILLED ONE!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': (to Nail) Oh, I know. How bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too.}}

{{quote| '''Freeza''': So. We've been flying for about twenty minutes now. Got any family? Because if so I probably killed them. }}

{{quote| "Amazing."}}

{{quote| '''Soldier''': Dude, that was totally it! (dies, emitting the scream as well)}}

** Made even funnier when after that, everyone else very clearly also has a stock scream... of [[Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|Team Fortress 2]] characters. Also after the slaughter:

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': (jumping into Freeza's base, deadpan) Weeeeeeee.}}

{{quote| '''Ginyu!Goku''': (After Goku!Ginyu flies off) Man... I'm a jerk now...<br />

'''Ginyu!Goku''': (after hearing Vegeta explain that Kakarot and Goku refer to the same person) So does that make me Ginyu?<br />

{{quote| '''Ginyu''': Just...just allow me a customary moment of silence.<br />

*[[Beat]]*<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Gohan, we might have a chance now! But you have to give it your all! Remember, (Ginyu) may look like your dad, you can absolutely not hold back-<br />

{{quote| '''Goku!Ginyu''': This is easily the second worst hole I've had in my chest. It's going to take, like, a million mommy kisses to make this feel better.}}

{{quote| '''Nail''':(attacks Freeza mid-sentence) HAAAAA!<br />

'''Freeza''': [[NoWon't SellWork On Me|Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting.]] Here, allow me. (rips Nail's arm off)<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': How many arms do you think we're up to? [[Crosses the Line Twice|I think we're up to 24.]]}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kind of an old one.<br />

'''Krillin''': What happened to the newer model?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Blew it the f*** up.<br />

'''Krillin''': What, did it have an opinion?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': You know, Gohan. It just occurred to me.<br />

'''Gohan''': Yeah, Krillin?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name, again? [[Call Back|Hey, Vegeta!]] What was that one guy's name? [[Running Gag|Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?]] [[Overly Long Gag|Vegeta?]] (Nappa's head appears) [[Most Annoying Sound|Vegeta? Vegeta?]]<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Who's that, King Kai? <br />

{{quote| '''Gohan''': Then again, I don't really know anyone my own age. My best friends are a 26 year-old dwarf, and a giant green alien who [[Hilariously Abusive Childhood|constantly hits me.]] [[Parental Neglect|Still, better than my dad. At least they're ''around'' ]]. ...Huh. Where did [[Call Back|that]] come from?}}

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids!<br />

'''Porunga''': [In Namekian] (I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I-- [sees Krillin]...Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge!)<br />

'''Dende''': (Actually, they're earthlings.)<br />

{{quote| '''King Kai''': Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!<br />

'''Krillin''': Holy crap, I can hear a voice inside my head!<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Hold on a minute, don't do that! That is a terrible i--(is resurrected and brought to Namek)--dea!<br />

''[Piccolo's can be heard screaming in the distance.]''<br />

'''Dende''': He is on Namek.<br />

'''Gohan''': Wait, where is he?<br />

'''Dende''': On Namek.<br />

'''Piccolo''': (in the distance) You dumbass!<br />

'''Krillin''': Why didn't it bring him here?<br />

'''Dende''': You must be specific.<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': (suddenly wakes up, jumps to his feet, fists clenched) I have to pee! (bolts out of the room)}}

{{quote| '''Krillin''': (on what he should use the third wish for) Well, now I can have a three-foot-long...<br />

'''Vegeta''': (visibly furious) '''HEY, WHAT'S UP GUYS?!'''<br />

'''Krillin''': ...I'm never going to get my hoagie.<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''SO WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!'''<br />

'''Gohan''': What am I doin'?<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?!''' <br />

'''Gohan''': Nothing much.<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''THWARTIN' MY PLANS?!'''<br />

'''Gohan''': Thwartin' your plans?<br />

'''Vegeta''': '''ARE YOU?!'''<br />

'''Gohan''': ...Yes.<br />

{{quote| ''' {{spoiler|Guru}}''': I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon. Would be a ''reeeal'' dick move to die right now...''Huuurrkk'' ''[dies]'' }}

{{quote| '''Popo''': -humming and watering plants-<br />

'''Kami''': (poofs) Fan-freaking-tastic, We're back here again.<br />

'''Popo''': Oh, you're back. Hi Kami.<br />

'''Kami''': Mr. Popo, what are you watering?<br />

'''Popo''': Pot.<br />

'''Kami''': Pots of what?<br />

'''Popo''': Pot. (''beat'') I'm not getting rid of it.<br />

'''Kami''': [[Did We Just Have Tea Withwith Cthulhu?|Are you kidding? That sh*t's great for my glaucoma.]] }}

{{quote| '''Nail:''' ''(Enjoying this moment)'' The earthlings have the password.<br />

* Vegeta's thoughts as he was falling asleep.

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' ''First immortality. Then the bitches.''}}

** That seemed more like he was trying to save face than anything else, considering how enthusiastic he was about it in the beginning.

{{quote| '''Nail:(Lands on a random spot)''' This is my people's sacred battleground.<br />

* [[The Stinger]] has the [[Super Mario Bros.|theme song]] with Freeza under a powerup box. Out pops the mushroom and Freeza transforms.

* Episode 25 has several including Freeza raising the Owned count so high that he gets a [[Super Mario Bros.|1Up]], Nappa in the flashback and {{spoiler|Dodoria shopped onto a [[Squick|fat woman in lingerie]] during a solar flare}}.

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are the few of my favorite things!}}

{{quote| '''Nail, (inside Piccolo's head)''': What are you doing?<br />

'''Piccolo''': Errrghummm...Nothing.<br />

'''Nail''': Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Are you in my head?<br />

'''Nail''': Yep. Don't worry, supposedly I should fade into your subconscious...sooner or later.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Ok...so what now?<br />

'''Nail''': By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard that killed our people.<br />

'''Piccolo''': And?<br />

'''Nail''': Well, let me put this in terms you can understand...YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU! CAN! DO! THIS!<br />

{{quote| '''Saiyan''': He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta.<br />

'''King Vegeta''': Wait, my son, the planet, or me?<br />

*[[Beat]]*<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan''': I... you... healed me.<br />

'''Dende''': You are the only one I respect. <br />

'''Gohan''': Then why did you heal Krillin?<br />

{{quote| '''Gohan''': Think, what would dad do?<br />

''[Flashback]''<br />

'''Goku''': Bye, son!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''' (inner monologue): I swear if he used that wish for immortality on himself, I am going to murde-<br />

[creeping realization]<br />

* While Freeza is owning Krillin so much he gets a [[Super Mario Bros.|1UP...]]

{{quote| '''Gohan:''' Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!}}

{{quote| '''Gohan:''' And then you used your Ki-Enzan to cut him in half?<br />

'''Krillin:''' Ummm...<br />

'''Freeza:''' I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!!<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' Wait, you mean I could have actually ''died?''<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.<br />

* Piccolo's [[Big Damn Heroes]] moment is accompanied by [[Chrono Trigger (Video Game)|Magus']] [[Mythology Gag|battle]] [[Crowning Music of Awesome|music.]] <ref>[[Don't Explain the Joke|You know, cause Magus and Piccolo look similar as both were designed by]] [[Akira Toriyama]]. Plus, Magus was the Fiendlord, and Piccolo Senior was the Demon King.</ref>

{{quote| '''Nail:''' There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.<br />

'''Piccolo:''' And we're just gonna abuse it?<br />

'''Nail:''' Oh, maliciously!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' So Vegeta, does this get you angry?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Not really, kind of a smart ass.<br />

'''Freeza:''' Well then, why am I even bothering?!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Because....you get off on it...?<br />

{{quote| "What was that idiot ''doing'', bringing me here? It's- Wait a minute. I can feel it. This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields... The crystal clear waters... The wind brushing past my ''GOD'' this is boring! Huh...no wonder I feel right at home.}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' Guldo told me<br />

''[cutaway]''<br />

'''Guldo:''' So... Did you know that Freeza can transform?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Huh. That right?<br />

'''Guldo:''' Yeah. And Burter's gay!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' ''(genuine surprise)'' Really!?<br />

''[cutaway]''<br />

{{quote| '''Kanassan 1''': I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUUURE!<br />

'''Kanassan 2''': BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KIIIIIID!<br />

'''Kanassan 3''': THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!<br />

'''Kanassan 4''': CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FOOOOORM!<br />

'''Kanassan 5''': GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUUUUYYYY!<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': [[My Name Is Not Durwood|Little Green!]] [[Big No|NOOOOOOOO!!!]]<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': Don't think you have the upperhand yet. [[I Am Not Left -Handed|I'm still wearing weighted armour!]]<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Aw man that sounded good, now I have to do ''my'' neck. ''[SNAP]'' OWWW MY NECK! ''[Krillin Owned Count: 26]''}}

* Piccolo and Nail's conversation during Freeza's 2nd transformation.

{{quote| '''Freeza''': So Namekian, what do you think of my 3rd form?<br />

'''Piccolo''': I think [[Ridley Scott]]'s gonna sue somebody.<br />

'''Freeza''': What are you talking about? *Alien tongue bursts out of mouth and makes noises* Let me touch your skin...<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': I have a question for you though.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Whats that?<br />

'''Freeza''': DIE.<br />

'''Piccolo''': ...That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': *suddenly appears* So, Vegeta, where do you think you're going?<br />

'''Vegeta''': Oh, y'know... *shifts eyes* places...<br />

'''Freeza''': Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': How about this? Let's play a game. Ever hear of paintball?<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Now for your ''other'' [[Bizarre Alien Biology|glubok]]! (He blasts Piccolo again.)<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': I'm sure they're doing just fine.<br />

'''Vegeta''': HEALER'S DOWN!<br />

'''Krillin''': NEED A REZ!<br />

'''Gohan''': OUT OF MANA!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': It's like putting down [[Old Yeller|Old Space Yeller]]<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': I'm Goku! I'm insane, from Earth!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Well between you and the Namekian I think I've lost my touch at genocide.}}

** Meta example in that shortly before the episode's release, [[The Nostalgia Critic (Web Video)|The Nostalgia Critic]] reviewed [[Star Trek V: theThe Final Frontier]], which had an infamous scene of Kirk and McCoy singing Row Row Row Your Boat. KaiserNeko noted this coincidence on Twitter.

{{quote| Huh, I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder.}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' You see, Freeza? You aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore-<br />

{{quote| [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}xYpfCrJPry4&feature{{=}}context&context{{=}}G284f7beFAAAAAAAAJAA#t{{=}}5m48s "Baguan, brederin Vegeta. Me be ya spirit animal. And me here to tell ya how to mash up dat bumbaclot Freeza. All you got to do is ..."] [[Killed Mid-Sentence|*crunch*]]"}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Oh, hey Piccolo! When'd you come back?<br />

'''Piccolo''': Uh... Dragon Balls...<br />

'''Goku''': Cool,<br />

'''Krillin''': GOKU!!<br />

'''Goku''': Hey Krillin! You look funny in that armor!<br />

'''Gohan''': DAD!!!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku:''' So, are you that Freezer guy?<br />

'''Freeza:''' ''<hestitantly>'' I am ''Lord Freeza,'' yes.<br />

'''Goku:''' ''<cheerfully>'' Awesome! Imma deck you in the schnozz!<br />

''<Freeza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta>''<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Ow.<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' Unfortunately, Vegeta and I had a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well, ''I didn't.''<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' ''(Yes I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me!)''<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin:''' I couldn't even follow that attack! It was almost instantaneous!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Yup, just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome--<br />

'''Piccolo:''' There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' ''(Annoyed)'' Uh, hello, awesome? Right here.<br />

'''Gohan:''' We're all gonna die!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' ''(Appears)'' Oh, go ahead, pool's open; water's fine. ''(Everyone just stands there, shaking in their boots)'' No? Just going to stand there like a bunch of piss ants? Thought so.}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Bitch, you just jealous of my [[Soulja Boy|Super Saiyan swagger]].}}

* While firing an impressive but ineffective [[Beam Spam]], Vegeta yelling "[[More Dakka|DAKKA DAKKA]] [[Warhammer 4000040,000|DAKKA DAKKA]]!"

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': You are our race's last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan. ...''Oh god, you're the last remaining Saiyan.''}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Wow, that was close! I was almost out of the frying pan, and into the... lava.<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': That lying red motherfucker!<br />

(Later, at King Yenma's)<br />

'''King Yenma''': (To all arriving souls) Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...([[Beat]], learns forward) nice.<br />

{{quote| '''Bulma''': Oh God! That was so refreshing... [[Lampshade Hanging|too bad it was all saltwater though.]] (faints).}}

*

{{quote| '''Goku''': My butt is flaming!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': What do I win?<br />

'''Freeza''': Another bath!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place... Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell!<br />

'''Goku''': I don't know, I went to Hell once. The only real bad part was these two oiled-up German guys trying to wrestle me.<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.}}

{{quote| '''Goku:''' Vegeta, no!<br />

'''Gohan:''' Vegeta, no!<br />

'''Krillin:''' Don't worry, Gohan. Little Green'll- ''(Shot of Dende's corpse)'' ...oh. Vegeta, no!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.<br />

'''Piccolo''': So... keep doing what I've been doing, then?<br />

'''Goku''': Yah-huh.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Yeah, I figured. Let's go!<br />

'''Krillin''': Oh thank god!<br />

''Piccolo and Krillin fly away.''<br />

'''Gohan''': (whispering) Dad... beat him within an inch of his life... AND HANG HIM UP BY HIS ENTRAILS!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': (threateningly) Want to play a game?<br />

[[Beat]]<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': So how did you like that game, monkey?<br />

'''Goku''': Eh, it was okay.<br />

'''Freeza''': Wha...''How did you-''<br />

'''Goku''': It's no [[Donkey Kong (Video Game)|Donkey Kong]] though. That has a pie level!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku:''' Vegeta, are you all right?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' I have...a f**king hole in my chest...why didn't you block that one!?<br />

'''Goku:''' I thought you had it!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' ''No!''<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' How do you ''function?''<br />

'''Goku:''' Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time!<br />

'''Freeza:''' ...I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.<br />

'''Goku:''' What? Why would you drown puppies!?<br />

'''Freeza:''' ''(Snidely)'' Because they're cute and cuddly.<br />

'''Goku:''' Are...you coming on to me?<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' (still holding Goku under the water) Any last words, monkey? Besides "gurgle gurgle?"<br />

'''Goku:''' (Goku breaks out from under the water) Yeah! Kaio-ken!<br />

* The disclaimer is read by Krillin, followed by this gem of an exchange.

{{quote| '''Director:''' That was perfect, Krillin. Don't worry about your check, we'll send it to your next of kin.<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?<br />

'''Goku''': (Spits up onto Freeza's face)<br />

[[Beat]]<br />

'''Freeza''': (Starts kicking Goku repeatedly)<br />

{{quote| '''Yamcha''': [King Kai's training] is bogus!<br />

{{quote| '''King Kai''': Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap, I'm old, takes a while, come out, there's a tree in my living room... What's up?}}

{{quote| '''Goz''': Meeeeez! We havez visitaaaaars! ''Prepare ze campz.''}}

{{quote| '''Goku:''' No, I can't lose. I have to beat you. You're evil, and you have to be stopped!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza''': (in a calm tone despite the look of horror on his face) ...Oh. Somehow I ''completely'' forgot about that.<br />

[The Spirit Bomb absorbs his attack with an "om nom nom" sound]<br />

'''Freeza''': (still calm) Oh my god.<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': Did you just hold a grudge?}}

{{quote| ''' {{spoiler|Krillin}}''': (After seeing Piccolo taken out) Oh, for a moment I thought that was going to be me.<br />

'''Freeza''': Ohoho, you're next.<br />

''' {{spoiler|Krillin}}''': Wait, what'd I ever do to you?<br />

'''Freeza''': Remember {{spoiler|my tail}}?<br />

''' {{spoiler|Krillin}}''': Can't you take a joke?<br />

*Freeza gives an ugly stare at {{spoiler|Krillin}}, while {{spoiler|Krillin}} gives a smile*<br />

''' {{spoiler|Krillin}}''': {{spoiler|[[Screams Like a Little Girl|AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH!]] *explodes*}}<br />

*Beat*<br />

{{quote| '''Mr. Popo''': ''(dramatic closeup)'' '''''[[Brick Joke|CALLED IT.]]'''''}}

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' That's stupid! ''You're'' stupid! ''Stop being stupid!''<br />

'''Goku:''' Or...maybe I'm being rhetorical.<br />

'''Freeza:''' ''NO! NO YOU'RE NOT!'' God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!<br />

'''Goku:''' Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.<br />

{{quote| '''Burter:''' Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace!<br />

{{quote| '''Freeza:''' What is that glare? That's not a sun, it's not a moon and [[Star Wars|it's certainly not a space station]] - what is that? ''(looks up)'' What... is... that - [[Rule of Three|What is that!?]]<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': Shut ''up!''<br />

'''Krillin''': Too scared!<br />

'''Piccolo''': Damn it!<br />

'''Freeza''': What is that fool yammering on about?<br />

'''Goku''': He's talking about...ghosts.<br />

'''Freeza''': ...Ghosts.<br />

== DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other ==

* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130208232941/http://www.teamfourstar.com/page-makeaman This is the best song ever.]

{{quote| '''Gohan''' I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore.}}

{{quote| '''Guru''': [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}kmPW0bhWIiY Drop it!]}}

{{quote| '''Nappa''': (''to Vegeta'') I think this is the beginning of a ''beautiful'' friendship!}}

{{quote| '''Bardock''': Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... Alright, whoa ho ho ho! Ten-thousand! That's my boy! *sees name plaque* ...Wait, Broly...?}}

{{quote| '''Gohan''': Someone threw out a perfectly good baby! I think I'll name you... [[Superman|Clark]].}}

* Bardock witnessing the future of his son <s>Kakarot</s> Goku... from a scene from [[Canon Dis ContinuityDiscontinuity|Dragon Ball GT]]. "....And now I welcome the sweet embrace of death."

{{quote| '''Dodoria:''' I think that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa:''' Vegeta!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' What is it, Nappa?<br />

'''Nappa:''' Well, I've got good news... aaaaand bad news. The ''bad'' news is... *rushed* ''reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by gigantic meteorite along with its all its inhabitants.''<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Ah- But- What about-?!<br />

'''Nappa:''' Aaand your father.<br />

'''Vegeta:''' My. Whole. Family. My race!<br />

{{quote| '''Professor''': Well, what's your costume?<br />

{{quote| '''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Cutter?<br />

'''Vegeta:''' No! Wait... who the hell is Cutter?<br />

'''Obnoxious Fan:''' You guys suck! I'm going to go complain on my [[Live JournalLiveJournal]] page.<br />

{{quote| '''Obnoxious Fan:''' Can I be Oozaru?<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa''': The editing is done by Tigerkitty!<br />

'''Vegeta''': It's Kaiser Neko, Nappa!<br />

'''Nappa''': Kaiser Cat.<br />

'''Vegeta''': Neko!<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa:''' Hey. Vegeta. Check out that cosplayer over there. They're hot!<br />

'''Vegeta:''' Goddamnit Nappa, stop breaking the fourth... whoa, wow, she ''is'' hot.<br />

'''Nappa:''' I'm talking about that guy over there! The [[Death Note (Manga)|L]] cosplayer!<br />

{{quote| '''Announcer:''' ...wait a minute, this is missing something. Hey Nappa, say something funny.<br />

'''Nappa:''' My parents died in a tragic space accident when I was only a child. That's why I can never grow up.<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa''': Tien, what are you doing?! That was your line!<br />

'''Tien''': Yeah, I'm not doing it.<br />

'''Nappa''': I thought we talked about this.<br />

'''Tien''': Yeah. ''You'' talked. I said no.<br />

'''Nappa''': Look. It took a long time to put this together. Piccolo's in the outfit!<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' This is so non-canon, it hurts.<br />

'''Ghost Nappa:''' ''Vegeeeeeeta!'' Tonight, you will be haunted by three ''ghoooooosts!'' (Appears) And they're all me. (Soon, two more Ghost Nappas show up.) <br />

'''Ghost Nappas''' (simultaneous) : Hi!<br />

{{quote| '''Goku:''' Well, what am I getting for Christmas?<br />

'''Chi-Chi:''' The same thing as last year, Goku.<br />

'''Goku:''' Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth...."<br />

{{quote| (Gohan is transformed into a Great Ape)<br />

{{quote| '''Shenron''': No! No way! No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!<br />

'''Oolong:''' It's been one year, 2 months and 50...<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo:''' [[Soulja Boy|Bitch, you look like Goku.]]<br />

'''Piccolo:''' '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}5PJddmfesaA I WANT THAT KID!!]''' }}

{{quote| '''Chi-Chi''': Goku, stop that or I'll deck you in the halls!}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Big tree, if you don't leave right now, I'm going to beat you up.<br />

'''Yamcha''': Goku, trees can't talk.<br />

'''Amond''': (Offscreen) Why don't you come up here and ''try it''.<br />

{{quote| '''Cacao''': [[Robo Speak|Singing:]][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}qVZxKtnUtDk Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit].<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': Alright, what's your gimmick?<br />

'''Minion''': Gimmick?<br />

'''Piccolo''': Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap, what're you?<br />

'''Angira''': We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, i'd say i'm the pretty one.<br />

'''Piccolo''': Eh, 6 out of 10.<br />

'''Angira''': ''You sassy bitch.''<br />

'''Piccolo''': That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.<br />

'''Medamatcha''': I can spawn mini-mes'!<br />

'''Piccolo''': (sarcasticly) ''Spectacular''. And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.<br />

{{quote| '''Slug''': You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.<br />

'''Goku''': *muffled due to being underground* What's it called?<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Kaïoken!<br />

'''Slug''': Kaïo-<br />

{{quote| '''Vegeta:''' And the Emmy goes to...<br />

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': The Kamehameha doesn't drill things!<br />

'''Nail''': Last time I checked, neither do cannons.<br />

'''Piccolo''': THAT'S what makes it SPECIAL.<br />

and<br />

'''Nail''': Who's that?<br />

'''Piccolo''': It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away. <br />

Also<br />

'''Nail:''' So you just ignore all of your problems?<br />

{{quote| '''Goku''': Aw great Iguana Street, now I'm gonna get mugged. But the joke's on them! I have no mo-*Gets punched through wall.*}}

{{quote| '''Goku''': Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies!}}

{{quote| '''Piccolo''': ''*standing on Slug's head*'' Hey. Name's Piccolo. I've got your antennae! Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?<br />

''*Slug grabs him*''<br />

'''Piccolo''': Aha! I ''knew'' you would do that! Now for phase two of my master plan! ''*tears off ears*'' AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!<br />

{{quote| "Papa Medamatcha gonna make you his bitch!"<br />

{{quote| "Oh, I don't give a shit what Christmas is now. I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matcha's are going to [[No Indoor Voice|RAPE]] [[Crosses the Line Twice|IT]]!}}

{{quote| '''Slug:''' My god, that's hilarious!<br />

{{quote| '''Popo''': *Hums* What?<br />

'''Kami''': Mr Popo are you torturing a cat?<br />

{{quote| '''Krillin''': Yamcha's here! [Explosion] Yamcha's dead!}}

{{quote| '''Vegeta''': Hey Nappa. Let's go to Earth.<br />

{{quote| '''Nappa:''' [[Fountain of Memes|I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.]]}}

**

{{quote| '''Nappa''': ''Vegeta why?!'' (as he is dying)<br />

{{quote| '''Guru:''' Nail...Nnnnnail!<br />

'''Nail:''' What is it, Lord Guru?<br />

'''Guru:''' Do you know what I love about Canada?<br />

'''Nail:''' ...Sir, there's nothing to love about Canada.<br />

'''Guru:''' Nail...<br />

'''Nail:''' No, seriously, it's the only place more boring than here-<br />

'''Guru:''' Nail! None of that.<br />

'''Nail:''' ''(Sighs)'' What is that you love about Canada, sir?<br />

'''Guru:''' I love...''their moose!''<br />

'''Moose:''' Hurr!<br />