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The infamous lists of "Things I'll do if I ever become an [[Evil Overlord]]".
Read them, and you'll be [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]], able to [[Defied Trope|avoid dooms of many villains]]. Fail to read them, and your [[Genre Blindness]] will condemn you to pick up any [[Villain Ball]] you see, perhaps even demoting you to the rank of [[Harmless Villain]], and [[Failure Is the Only Option|failure will be your only option]].
The original
The version reproduced
Jack Butler's list can be found [http://legendspbem.angelfire.com/eviloverlordlist.html here], and Peter Anspach's list can be found [http://www.eviloverlord.com/ here]. Both Peter Anspach and Jack Butler acknowledge the existence of each other's lists, that both lists originated independently of each other, and state that their two lists have been so cross-pollinated over the years as to become effectively identical.
▲The version reproduced for TV Tropes is the more well-known list that sprang out of discussions on the ''[[Star Trek]]'' mailing list around 1994, discussing common cliches that appeared on ''[[Deep Space 9]]''. It started with 25 items and growing into eventually 100 items with several appendices grouped into "Cellblock A" and "Cellblock B". It is no longer updated, though it can still be found at [http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html this site].
See also [[Evil Overlord List Cellblock A]] and [[Evil Overlord List Cellblock B]]. If you wish to add points of your own, see the [[All the Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows]]. See also [[Evil Plan]] and [[Stock Evil Overlord Tactics]] for more general information.
If you don't want, or are unable, to be an [[Evil Overlord]], look up [[
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== The Evil Overlord List ==
# [[Dressing as the Enemy|My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not]] [[Faceless Goons|face-concealing ones]].
# My ventilation ducts will be [[Air Vent Passageway|too small to crawl through]].
# My noble half-brother [[The Evil Prince|whose throne I usurped]] will be killed, not [[Man in the Iron Mask|kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.]]
# [[Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?|Shooting is
# [[MacGuffin|The artifact which is the source of my power]] will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my [[Achilles' Heel|one weakness]].
# I will not [[Evil Gloating|gloat]] over [[Death Trap|my enemies' predicament]] before killing them.
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# After I kidnap the beautiful [[Everything's Better with Princesses|princess]], we will be [[Altar the Speed|married immediately]] in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
# I will not include a [[Self-Destruct Mechanism]] unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a [[Big Red Button|large red button]] labelled "Danger: [[Schmuck Bait|Do Not Push]]". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a [[Bullet Hell|spray of bullets]] on anyone [[Too Dumb to Live|stupid enough to disregard it]]. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
# I will not interrogate my enemies in [[Bring Him to Me|the inner sanctum]]
# I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no [[Just Toying with Them|need to prove it]] by [[Criminal Mind Games|leaving clues in the form of riddles]] or [[Not Worth Killing|leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat]].
# One of my advisors will be an [[Van Von Hunter|average five-year-old child]]. Any [[Villain Ball|flaws in my plan]] that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
# All slain enemies will be [[Never Found the Body|cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them]], not [[Left for Dead]] at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
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# I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like [[Putting on the Reich|Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes]]. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
# No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not [[Phlebotinum Overload|consume any energy field bigger than my head]].
# I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way
# I will maintain [[Nothing Can Stop Us Now|a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses]]. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, [[This Cannot Be!]]! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, [[Not So Invincible After All|death is usually instantaneous]].)
# No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is [[Attack Its Weak Point|completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.]]
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# When I capture the hero, I will [[And Your Little Dog, Too|make sure I also get]] his [[Non-Human Sidekick|dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around]].
# I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and [[Show Some Leg|she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans]].
# I will only employ [[Bounty Hunter|bounty hunters]] who work for money. [[Psycho for Hire|Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt]] tend to do dumb things like [[Just Toying with Them|even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance]].
# I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," [[The Blofeld Ploy|then suddenly turn and kill some random underling]].
# If an advisor says to me [[One-Man Army|"My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?"]], I will reply "This," and kill the advisor.
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# If one of my dungeon guards begins [[Pet the Dog|expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell]], I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
# I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any [[Absurdly Spacious Sewer|secret passages and abandoned tunnels]] that I might not know about.
# If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and [[Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?|kill her.]]
# [[Deal with the Devil|I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being]] then [[Faustian Rebellion|attempt to double-cross it]] simply because [[For the Evulz|I feel like being contrary]].
# The [[Red Right Hand|deformed mutants]] and [[Psycho for Hire|odd-ball psychotics]] will have their place in my Legions of Terror. [[Unusually Uninteresting Sight|However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety,]] I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
# My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy|Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters]] will be used for target practice.
# Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully [[Read the Freaking Manual|read the owner's manual]].
# If it becomes necessary to escape, [[We Will Meet Again|I will never stop to pose dramatically]] and [[So Long, Suckers!|toss off a one-liner]].
# [[
# My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to [[The Password Is Always Swordfish|passwords]].
# If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", [[Sanity Has Advantages|I will not proceed unless I have a response that satisfies them.]]
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# My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
# No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat [[Insecurity Camera|every surveillance camera malfunction]] as a full-scale emergency.
# [[Save the Villain|I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so]]. However, [[Makes Us Even|the offer is good one time only]]. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
# All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be [[Raised by Wolves|raised by creatures of the wild]].
# When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of [[The Guards Must Be Crazy|quizzically peering around a corner]].
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# Finally, to [[Bread and Circuses|keep my subjects]] [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|permanently locked in a mindless trance]], I will provide each of them with [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|free unlimited Internet access]].
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{{quote|'''This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.'''}}
{{Evil Overlord Lists}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Evil Tropes]]
[[Category:Evil Overlord List]]
[[Category:Books on Trope]]
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