Family Guy/Funny: Difference between revisions

Line 134:

{{quote|'''Peter Griffin:''' There's only one thing to do--learn the language of the fleas, earn their trust, and breed with their women. And in time our differences will be forgotten.

'''Lois:''' '''CALL THE DAMN EXTERMINATOR!!!''' }}

** After Peter gets surgery to make himself more attractive -

{{quote|'''Lois''': "Ahh, I hate what you've become. Why don't you go back to that doctor and have him suck the fat out of your head?"

'''Peter''': "Maybe I will! Then I'll put it on my feet and skate around on Paul Bunyan's giant skillet to cook his flapjacks!"

Line 140:

'''Peter''': "It doesn't have to. I'm beautiful!" }}

** After Peter's introduces his new thin body to the family - Stewie: "My god, it's finally happened! He's become so massive he's collapsed into himself, like a neutron star!"

** Little Girl: "But mister, I need real money. I can't take a credit card." Peter: "Oh, cash only, huh, huh? No paper trail, huh? What are you selling? Reefer? Crack? Smack? Horse? X? Shrooms? Dust? Meth? In my neighborhood? I don't think so!" (Peter smashes the lemonade stand).

** "Well if my son can't come in, then I'll just come in!''

* Stewie trying to buy instruments of carnage at the hardware store using a mind-controlled Chris. Seth Green affecting a Chris-ified version of Stewie's plummy [[Evil Brit]] accent while spouting Stewie-esque [[Ax Crazy]] [[Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon|threats]] is ''hysterical''.

** The "''Family Guy'' Cast and Creator" episode of ''Inside The Actor's Studio'' reveals that this is Seth Green's favorite Chris scene.

*

{{quote|'''Young Peter''': Why did all the dinosaurs die out?

'''Museum Guide''': Because you touch yourself at night. }}

Line 158:

* "Well Tom, it appears the real arsonist is in custody, thanks to an anonymous tip to the authorities." "{{smallcaps|Good. Good.}}"

* Meg's ''[[Fast Times at Ridgemont High]]''-spoofing fantasy about Tom Tucker in "The Kiss Seen 'Round The World".

**

{{quote|'''Stewie: '''We're playing house.

'''Lois: '''That boy is all tied up...

Line 182:

'''Pope:''' You make-a the Pope look like a ''fool!'' God will make you pay! ''SMITE THEM!'' [pause] "He's-a cooking something up." }}

** Also: I vill hear no more insinuations about [[Those Wacky Nazis|ze German people]]! [[World War II|NOTHING BAD HAPPENED!]] Sie werden sich hinsetzen!! Sie werden ruhig sein!! Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland!!!

**

{{quote|'''Brian''': You wanna go get some ice cream?

(Stewie shakes his head no)

Line 202:

{{quote|'''Peter:''' Everybody I've got bad news. We've been canceled.

'''Lois:''' Oh no, Peter! How could they do that?

'''Peter:''' Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''[[Dark Angel]], [[Titus]], [[Undeclared]], [[Action]], That '80s Show, [[Wonderfalls]], [[Fastlane]], Andy Richter Controls The Universe, [[Skin]], Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, [[Firefly]], Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, [[The Lone Gunmen]], A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, [[Keen Eddie]], [[The Street]], American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, [[The Tick]], Louie,'' and ''[[Greg the Bunny]]''.

'''Peter:''' Well unfortunately Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like ''[[Dark Angel]], [[Titus]], [[Undeclared]], [[Action]], That '80s Show, [[Wonderfalls]], [[Fastlane]], Andy Richter Controls The Universe, [[Skin]], Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, [[Firefly]], Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, [[The Lone Gunmen]], A Minute With Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, [[Keen Eddie]], [[The Street]], American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, [[The Tick (animation)]], Louie,'' and ''[[Greg the Bunny]]''.

'''Lois:''' Is there no hope?

'''Peter:''' Well I suppose if [[Cue the Flying Pigs|ALL those shows go down the tubes]] we might have a shot. }}

Line 249:

* The ''entirety'' of the episode "Peter's Got Woods".

** Peter playing peek-a-boo with Stewie. "Oh, great, leave when I'm right in the middle of a sentence."

* Peter and [[Michael Moore]]'s farting contest.

* [http://www.youtube.com/user/huludotcom?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/20/2NDPT0Ph5rA The ''FCC Song''.]

** [[Osama Bin Laden]]'s bloopers.

* This part from "Brian Goes Back to College":

{{quote|'''Peter:''' This looks like a job for the A-Team! (slams his gun down and shoots a hole in the ceiling, causing Chris to fall face-first onto the floor)

'''Chris:''' Hi, Dad!

Line 272:

>''Fuck you!'' }}

* That time Peter lost his virginity.

** Jesus is buried after the crucifixion, then he [[Quantum Leap|leaps]] into a redneck who just slept with a farmer's daughter. "Oh boy!"

* [[Crosses the Line Twice|"Where's my money?"]]

** [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown|"You got 'till 5 o' clock! YOU GOT 'TILL 5 O' CLOCK!"]]

Line 330:

* The "incest episode" from the DVD extra of "[[The Movie|Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story.]]"

**

{{quote|"You know what ''really'' grinds my gears? You, America! [[Precision F-Strike|Fuck you!"]] Diane?}}

* From "Eight Simple Rules For Buying My Teenage Daughter" when Meg tells Lois she could be having a life on Saturday night:

Line 355:

* Peter sprays himself with [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IehtHkjx3IY Tag Sick Cat Body Spray.]

* "Blind Ambition": Blind!Peter accidentally climbing into Chris's and then Stewie's bed because he thinks they're Lois. Stewie's reaction is the best. "WHAT THE DEUCE?!"

* From "Petarded": Peter is a tumor.

* In "Jungle Love":

{{quote|Lady Guinevere: Oh, Arthur, if you can remove this sword from it's stone, and prove that you are the true king of England, I will make love to you in this very field.

Line 393:

** When Stewie and Olivia start dating. They spend the day together and leave before dark because the area they're in is dangerous at night. We then see a lion and a robot fight each other.

** The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJyzdLN8CSE "Look at my kids" scene].

* ''[[The Wiz]]'' [[Shout-Out]] with a large number of black people randomly dancing in the streets after Mayor West sends the entire police department to Colombia to "rescue" an actress that was there ''fifteen years ago''.

* "Say whip." "Whip." "Now say Cool Whip." "Coo' Hwip." "Cool Whip!" "Coo' Hwhip." "You're eating hair!" *spit*

** "Just relax. We're gonna be here for a hwhile!"

Line 425:

'''Random Guy #2:''' "We can't leave her alone!"

'''Stewie:''' "PUSH THE BITCH OUT!" }}

** After Francis died, Peter buried him in a pet cemetery and he inexplicably burst out of the ground, prompting Peter to beat him with his shovel.

*** It makes perfect sense if you've heard of ''[[Pet Sematary]].''

** The time Peter got stuck behind Robert Loggia at the airport.

** After Peter smokes crack (which he bought from a white guy selling it at Black's Hardware Store) to keep from drinking: "Gubment came and took my baaaaaaaaaby!"

***

{{quote|'''Brian:''' "Peter, what're you doing?!"

'''Peter:''' "Crack."

Line 445:

** Peter after saying goodbye to [[Ben Stiller]], watches him flying away to the sunset, and says, deeply touched: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fct19uNhaRs His movies are terrible.]"

* '''"[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWWNnESqNHwMEN!! FORM UP CRIPPLETRON!!]"'''

**

{{quote|'''Peter:''' Ben Stiller, help me!

'''Ben:''' No, Peter. I heard what you said about my movies."

Line 471:

== Season Six ==

* "Man, [[Star Wars|hyperspace]] always [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lVlVbsWfZk looks] [[Doctor Who|so freaky]]..."

** Made even better if you're a ''Doctor Who'' fan.

** And the rest of the ''Star Wars'' parody for that matter.

* Herbert at his stand singing "YMCA" in "Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air"

Line 511:

{{quote|'''See 'n Say:''' The cow says: "Shazoo!"

'''Stewie:''' It most certainly ''does not!'' }}

** Leading to a [[Brick Joke]] later, after the time machine.

{{quote|'''Brian''': Where are we?

'''Cow''': Shazoo!

Line 522:

{{quote|''It'll be my 3rd strike! I can't go to prison, they'll rape me! And I'll never see them coming, I won't''.}}

* From "Stew-Roids", [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLj1v8cO804&feature=relmfu World War 5].

* Peter's stab at [[Joaquin Phoenix]] in "Three Kings".

{{quote|"Welcome back and Joaquin Phoenix if you're still watching, thanks for being a sport. You passed our test and you can be our friend."}}

* [[Two Words: Obvious Trope|Four Words:]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFcbS45bVeU Slowly Rotating Black Man.]

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** Peter looks like Doc!

** ...Up until [[Take That|the]] [[Godwin's Law|end]] of that sequence. Everything up to that was bloody hilarious, though.

*** For some that bit just [[Crosses the Line Twice|made it funnier]].

*** [[Dead Baby Comedy|Appalling and horrible, but hilarious]].

** Or for that matter, ''Family Guy'' ''[[Robot Chicken]]'' style:

Line 541:

*** Made all the funnier when you realize who voices who.

** When Brian and Stewie are a real baby and a real dog.

* When Quagmire thought he was getting [[The Cleveland Show|the spin-off]].

{{quote|"See ya later, bitches! With your stupid fuckin' Giant Chicken jokes and your Conway Twitty -- Hey, why's there a moving truck outside Cleveland's house?"}}

** The sequence where Quagmire discovers internet porn. It was good for a twofer: first, there's the scene in the bar where you realize Quagmire, the pervert extraordinaire, has no idea that porn can be found on the internet. Then the scene later on where Peter sees him again after a long time...and he's got an absolutely massive right arm.

Line 583:

* "Dial Meg for Murder"'s [[Take That]] at "[[Old Shame|Not All Dogs Go To Heaven]]", especially the Goofy part. "Be careful Brian. Not all dogs go to heaven."

* [[Crosses the Line Twice|Terri Schiavo! Is kind of alive-oh!]] Seriously, some may have thought it was going a bit [[Dude, Not Funny|TOO]] far, but I think that the beginning bit automatically swings this around so many times that it's the funniest moment BY FAR of Season 8 as of now.

** I laughed because I was thinking the same exact thing as Chris and Brian started to ponder whether this was too soon or too late.

* "April in Quahog" also gets a [[Running Gag]] joke. Peter does crystal meth TWICE, and so does Brian at the end.

{{quote|'''Peter:''' ''I am SO fucking ready!'' *jumps through Stewie's ceiling*

'''Stewie:''' When you jumped through my ceiling you let in an owl. I know they're supposed to be wise, but all it did was shriek and throw up half-digested mice. }}

Line 612:

== Season Nine ==

* Seamus's [[Become a Real Boy|fake origin]] from "And There Were Fewer".

* From "Brian Writes a Bestseller":

** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YroEheD6CaQ *sigh* Well at least it's not raining- *stabbed*]

* From "Welcome Back, Carter":

Line 627:

* Peter: "I need that money for bourbon and anime!"

{{quote|'''Peter during cutaway:''' I don't understand any of this. Everyone in Japan is either a ten-year old girl or a monster!}}

* Brian and Stewie failing their first Christmas delivery as Santa Claus in "Road to the North Pole".

*** [[Take a Third Option|Why can't it be both?]]

**** The punchline makes everything better for others.

** From the same episode, Stewie's lamentation when the [[Mall Santa]] left for the night...

Line 637:

'''Gary's "Reflection," a [[Monster Clown]]''': ''(flashing double thumbs-up)'' [[Cloudcuckoolander|YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT]]!<br />

'''Gary Busey''': ''(also flashing double thumbs-up)'' GOOD! THEN I'LL KEEP IT UP! }}

**

{{quote|'''Winnie the Pooh''': "Come on, Eeyore, let's go play!

'''Eeyore''': "I don't wanna."

Line 675:

'''Narrator''': Sensing confrontation, the black woman prepares by removing all her rings. Meanwhile, the italian man makes sure that all the other italian men, can see what's happening. A flock of Jews, sensing danger, take flight and flee, as it is their only chance of survival. }}

* "IT'S NOT A LIQUID! IT'S A GREAT MANY PIECES OF SOLID MATTER, THAT FORM A HARD FLOOR-LIKE SURFACE!"

* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1Y5dKCt6GQ Quagmire auto erotically asphyxiated watching clown porn].

* The [[Call Back|Iraq Lobster]]. A hilarious scene in an [[Mood Whiplash|otherwise]] [[Cerebus Syndrome|depressing episode]].

** Tons of [[Mood Whiplash]] here. After the most [[Tear Jerker|heartbreaking scene in the episode]], we see Peter looking through the door's peephole and seeing Quagmire distorted in the glass with a sad face. When we see Quagmire, he face ''really was'' distorted like that from lack of sleep hearing the abuse going on in his house.

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'''Rooster:''' You're about to have a neat day. }}

** Heck, the only thing funny about this episode were the cutaways.

* Peter's Mexican fart.

{{quote|'''Mexican...ghost...thing that came out of Peter's ass''': "CON CUIDADO, ES EL STIIIIINKO!" *fires guns into the air, causing everyone to run away screaming*}}

* Stewie crashing the car.

* Too many parts in "Back to the Pilot" to list.

** The dozens of alternate Brians and Stewies. ''That is all.''

Line 719:

'''Joe:''' I don't think they see it that way. }}

* Peter ''ripping off someone's face'' a la [[Scooby Doo]].

* Joe's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g4hw_EKvgM Fiona Apple tribute video].

** How Every Pizza Place ruins a salad.

{{quote|'''Employee 1''': OK, 4 pizzas and a salad.