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Line 1: {{~~trope~~work}} A 1956 Cy Roth [[Sci Fi]] number; rivals ''[[Lost Continent]]'' and ''[[Star Trek: The Motion Picture ~~(Film)~~\|Star Trek the Motion Picture]]'' for sheer [[Pacing Problems\|glaciality of pace]]. Only the ''[[~~Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV)\|~~Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' treatment could make this snail watchable. On the other hand, it has lots of [[Most Writers Are Male\|pretty ladies...]] A team of American and British astronomers have made a startling discovery: the aptly named Thirteenth Moon Of Jupiter. Noting its Earth-like appearance, the group quickly arranges (after a lengthy drive through London's outskirts) and launches an expedition to explore this new world. Line 8: The team -- expedition leader Luther Blair, Captain Larson, and scientists Stanhope, Higgens and Anderson -- have exciting adventures on their way to Jupiter, like dodging glowy popcorn puffs and shaving. Meanwhile, reporters and officers back on Earth sit around a radio speaker and listen for updates. Eventually, the expedition reaches the Thirteenth Moon where, unexpectedly, a voice on the radio provides landing instructions. [[Leave the Camera Running\|Meanwhile, reporters and officers back on Earth sit around a radio speaker and listen for updates]]. The spaceship lands safely, and Team Jupiter change into their Air Force uniforms and have a stroll around the [[All Planets Are Earthlike\|lush grassy fields of Jupiter's moon]] for a while, until they stumble upon a [[~~Distressed~~ Damsel in Distress]] struggling with a skinny, bark-skinned man. They scare the beast off and the woman shows her gratitude by leading them to a hidden fortress. Blair and Larson go in after her, sending the others back to the ship under the presumption that rank hath its privileges. Meanwhile, reporters and officers back on Earth sit around a radio speaker and listen for updates. The junior scientists return to the spaceship and report in, then sit around wondering what to do about their leaders. Meanwhile, reporters and officers... well, [[Overly Long Gag\|I think you get the idea]]. Line 28: Whew! Quite a lengthy summary, for a film where not much happens. For the ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' version, please go to the [[Mystery Science Theater 3000 ~~(TV)~~/Recap/S04 /E16 Fire Maidens From Outer Space\|episode recap page]]. {{tropelist}} * [[All Planets Are Earthlike]]: Even if they're as far away from the sun as Jupiter. And Jupiter itself didn't become a sun until [[~~Two~~2001: ~~Thousand~~A ~~One~~Space Odyssey\|2010]]. * [[Atlantis]]: Well, ''New'' Atlantis, at any rate. * [[Captain Obvious]]: {{quote\| '''Prasus:''' Food and drink will provide the necessary sustenance!}} * [[~~Distressed~~ Damsel in Distress]]: Hestia, during the final sacrifice (seeing that she ''was'' the sacrifice). * [[Dull Surprise]]: Duessa looks on as The Creature bears down on her. * [[Expospeak Gag]] {{quote\| '''Stanhope:''' Beautiful, gorgeous! A species of fauna that demands extensive research program.~~<br />~~ '''Anderson:''' You mean different to all this [forest]?~~<br />~~ '''Stanhope:''' My dear Anderson, 'fauna' -- or in this case, 'fauni' -- refers to the animals characteristic of the region.~~<br />~~ '''Anderson:''' Who cares about animals?~~<br />~~ '''Stanhope:''' Man (''and'' woman) has sometimes been refered to as an animal.~~<br />~~ '''Anderson:''' Oh, you mean people... [light bulb] GIRLS! Hey, why didn't you say so before! }} * [[Grandma, What Massive Hotness You Have!]]: As Prasus toasts to a portrait of the goddess Aphrodite: {{quote\| '''Prasus:''' She was my mother's mother.}} * [[Homage]]: Duessa is actually named after a villainess in ''[[The Faerie Queene]]''. Who knew there was so much culture in this movie? * [[Hello, Nurse!]]: A secretary walks a long long catwalk (and we watch every minute of it) to come down and take a memo. * [[Lost World]]: New Atlantis. * [[Mr. Exposition]]: <s>Clarissa</s> Prasus Explains It All. ** And what he doesn't tell us, Hestia does. * [[Neutral Female]]: All the Atlantean girls. * [[Public Domain Soundtrack]]: Most prominently featuring Borodin's "Polovtsian Dances" from the opera ''Prince Igor''. ** [[Soundtrack Dissonance]]: Stirring, energetic music is often played during the exciting moments of the film. HINT: There are no exciting moments in this film. * [[Rubber Forehead Aliens]]: The Monster ** And he's [[Immune to Bullets]]. But not Gas Grenades. * [[Science Marches On]]: This film predates the actual discovery of Jupiter's real 13th moon by a couple of decades. Dialog covers this by saying the moon is normally shrouded by "terrestrial fog". * [[Schizo-Tech]]: New Atlantis has all the trappings of ancient Greece, plus electricity. * [[Space Is Noisy]]: Especially during the "dodging meteoroids" scene: "You know, I definitely hear a bowling alley." Line 69: [[Category:Mystery Science Index 3000]] [[Category:Films of the 1950s]] [[Category:Fire Maidens ~~From~~from Outer Space]] [[Category:Film]]