Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Difference between revisions

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{{trope}}
[[File:Not_gay_really_6097Not gay really 6097.jpg|link=Webcomic/Captain Stupendous|frame]]
 
{{quote|''"Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay!''<br />
''(But I'm not gay.)"''|'''If You Were Gay''', ''[[Avenue Q]]''}}
 
The opposite of [[Everyone Is Gay]], [['''Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]''' is a trope that takes place in a genre filled to the brim with [[Ho Yay]]. So, to compensate for this, every other line of dialogue comments on how some character is straight and their relationship with someone else is platonic. Every other cast member ''also'' comments on how this person is in fact in a totally normal-type relationship. [[Not That There's Anything Wrong with That]], but they aren't.
 
This isn't just a story that [[Suddenly Sexuality|turns someone straight]] or just takes a hardline on [[Ship Tease]]... this is a story where nobody will shut up about it, ever. Naturally, because of [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]], many people will interpret this as a case of [[Transparent Closet]] whether the character is gay or not. And like all tropes, people will [[Most Definitely Not a Villain|invoke this on purpose]].
 
If they're not just trying to convince people which way they swing but that they swing ''at all'', it's [[Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?]]
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{{examples}}
 
== Anime and Manga ==
* Gojyo from ''Gensoumaden Saiyuki'' lives to constantly remind everyone in the Sanzo Party that he loves the ladies, yet outside of one episode not canon to the comics, Gojyo has never been with a woman despite his good looks. He has the strongest gay vibes of anyone in the group, picking to particular person to shovel that on to. It doesn;t help that the mangaka has a history in BL mangas.
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** Some hardline Sailor Mars fans claim her abortive crush on Mamoru in the television show (and found nowhere else) was an attempt to downplay the fact she [[Does Not Like Men]], since none of the other boyfriendless girls has a similar subplot. Ironically, the idea Rei leans a bit is a running gag in later seasons. Newer adaptations seem to avoid giving her romantic pursuits altogether. The original manga version had her regain memories of her past life where she made a vow of chastity to the Princess. She gets no romance what so ever after this, though a flashback chapter does show that a man more or less broke her heart before she regained her memories which may have added another reason for keeping that vow.
* In ''[[Haruhi Suzumiya|The Wavering of Haruhi Suzumiya]]'' sexually-insecure teenage [[Narrator]] Kyon is very careful to remind the reader of his heterosexuality in this story where men seem to be constantly be implying attraction to him, either through [[Three Is Company]] misunderstandings or just being [[Ambiguously Gay|Itsuki Koizumi]].
{{quote| ''Now let me set the record straight, I am an absolutely normal heterosexual male. My preference for "the same team" weighs less than that of a humming bird, in other words, it's non-existent. Whether subconsciously or unconsciously, my preference has been "straight". See? Aren't I right? My body would go hot just thinking about [[Moe Moe|Asahina-san.]] If [[Ambiguously Gay|Koizumi]] had called me saying such stuff, I would've hung up already. [[Bi the Way|By the way]], [[Suspiciously Specific Denial|I'm not bisexual either.]] Do I make myself clear?''}}
** Kyon is a master of this trope, and due to [[Unreliable Narrator|his role in the story]] ''may'' be edging into [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]].
** Actually, this might not be as deserving as it seems - Koizumi, for one, isn't all that homosexual in the original novels (largely seems to be an invention of [[Kyo Ani]], who knows their audience too well,) and this is one of the only "I'm not gay" moments in the novels (presuming the fan translations to be accurate.) Kyon's wordy denials of things are a characteristic trait of his narrational style, and are as likely to be [[Thou Dost Protest Too Much]] (especially when denying feelings for Haruhi and/or his enjoyment of the crazy adventures around him) as they are to be genuine denials. Besides, that specific incident came right after what sounded like an incredibly [[Soap Opera]]-ish confession of love by an old classmate over the phone. It makes things a little uncomfortable for Kyon until the classmate clarifies that {{spoiler|it's for Yuki.}}
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* In the ''[[Lucky Star]]'' manga Konata once stated while she is a [[Yuri Fan|yuri fangirl]] she is not a lesbian.
* While not actually ''said'', ''[[Shugo Chara]]'' made it clear that Nagihiko is straight in episode 56 when he's assigned as the newest Jack's Chair . He refuses, and Tadase, as an attempt to change his mind, shows off his [[Bishie Sparkle]]. However, Nagihiko isn't at all amused by this. Later, when Tadase and Kukai tell Amu, a girl, about Nagihiko being the new Jack, Amu lets out her own [[Bishie Sparkle]], to which Nagihiko cannot resist. This alone counts as enough evidence that, yes, he likes girls.
* In ''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'', Utena makes sure to tell Anthy that she, despite all appearances, is totally just into normal boys. [[Played for Drama]]: Utena is only 14 and simply doesn't know what love is yet, and her desire to be straight leaves her wide open to the destructive sexual manipulation done by Anthy's brother Akio.
** Later on in the series, this is [[Played for Laughs]] when Touga claims to be straight. Even though his [[Ho Yay]] with Akio is ''through the roof'', and the two are actually seen rolling around on a bed together with their pants undone. Not to mention the number of scenes where Touga and Saionji are shirtless together for no apparent reason.
* In a case of "Have I Mentioned I Am A Heterosexual Male Today?", Kyo of ''[[Girl Got Game]]'', a [[Sweet Polly Oliver]] worrying that her secret has been compromised, tries to reinforce her cover by going around groping girls wildly. The results are mixed.
* In ''[[The Tyrant Falls in Love]]'', the main character Tatsumi, even after he has consensual sex with Morinaga, insists that he "is not a damned homo!".
* Yuuri, the main character of ''[[Kyou Kara Maou]]'', finds his cries of "[[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?]]" largely ignored in a world where, apparently, [[Everyone Is Bi]]. It doesn't help that he's got an [[Unwanted Harem|all-male harem]]. Or a male [[Accidental Marriage|fiancee]]. Who he [[Has Two Mommies|adopted a child with]].
* In ''[[ZeroThe noFamiliar Tsukaimaof Zero|The Familiar Of Zero]]'' has the flamboyantly [[Camp Gay]] stereotype bar owner Scarron, such as wearing dresses and having his all female staff refer to him as madamoiselle. Come to the surprise to both the viewers and the cast that Jessica is his daughter.
* In ''[[Angel Beats!]]'', Hinata has to continually reinforce to Otanashi that he isn't like that, subverted later in the series.
* [[Played for Laughs]] in ''[[Baccano!]]'' with Christopher Shouldered. Being under the impression that his [[Vitriolic Best Buds|Vitriolic Best Bud]] Chi might have a crush on him, Christopher tends to punctuate any sort of statement of affection with the fact that he's not into men, lest Chi get his hopes up. Chi just begrudgingly puts up with it like the rest of Christopher's [[Cloudcuckoolander|eccentric behavior.]]
 
 
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* ''[[The Girl Who Lived]]'': Rose Potter, who despite ogling naked girls and going to sleep with Ginny and waking up in a spooning position, is totally not a lesbian.
* ''[[Sonichu]]'': Christian W. Chandler would like to remind you to [[Unfortunate Implications|STAY STRAIGHT]]!
** This is the main reason some hold to the idea of it all being mega-epic [[Troll|Trolling]]ing. He discusses what he has to ''do'' to 'stay straight,' nicknames himself Chris-[[Japanese Honorifics|Chan]], compares himself to [[Action Girl|Chun-Li]] of all ''[[Street Fighter]]'' characters, and on and on and on, but is absolutely definitely not one of those evil gay people, ''really.''
* ''[[How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony]]'': "Draco is straight now."
* ''[[Light and Dark - The Adventures of Dark Yagami|Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami]]'': Dark Yagami could have this trope renamed in his dubious honor.
* Go to [[YouTube]], and look at any [[Animated Music Video]] depicting a really close relationship between two characters of the same sex. A very large percentage of the ones that aren't [[Shipping]] will comment in the description that it's not a [[Yuri]]/[[Yaoi]] video. Naturally, this makes you think about it more. The fact that they're usually set to love songs makes it funnier.
* Marik in ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series|Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series]]''. He constantly denies that he's gay, despite a penchant for ''[[The Little Mermaid]]'', tight clothes, and his evil BFF Bakura, as well as a fondness for reading [[Yaoi]].
{{quote| '''Marik:''' Wait a second, are you coming onto me? I already ''told'' you, Bakura, I'm not gay!<br />
'''Bakura:''' Could've fooled me.<br />
'''Melvin:''' ''And'' me!<br />
'''Marik:''' Hey, shut up, you don't know anything about me!<br />
'''Bakura:''' Marik, he ''is'' you! He knows everything about you.<br />
'''Marik:''' ''He'' is the gay one! }}
** And now Yuusei and Jack from ''Bonds Before Time Abridged''. Yuusei starts the movie by assuring Jack that liking ''[[Top Gun]]'' isn't gay, as how could a movie about men calling each other cute nicknames, playing half-naked volleyball and riding phallic vehicles at high speed be anything but straight? He spends the final duel engaging in a ''lot'' of [[Ho Yay]] with Yami, before repeatedly waving it away with a 'no homo'. Yami is... [[Depraved Bisexual|much less insecure.]]
{{quote| '''Yugi:''' You know, you always were my favorite protagonist.<br />
'''Yuusei:''' Right back at you, Yugi. It feels so good to know you'll be playing with me. ''([[Sexophone|sexy music,]] intense eye contact)'' No homo!<br />
'''Yugi:''' Ah, yes...no homo...indeed.<br />
''[[Running Gag|(later)]]''<br />
'''Yuusei:''' You can ride with me anytime, Yugi. ''(sexy music, intense eye contact)''...no homo.<br />
'''Yugi:''' Ah yes, I was just about to say, uh, no homo.<br />
''[[Rule of Three|(later)]]''<br />
'''Yuusei:''' [[Top Gun|You can be my wingman anytime]], Yugi.<br />
'''Yugi:''' No, Yusei. You can me mine. ''(sexy music, intense eye contact)''<br />
'''Yuusei:''' No homo, right?<br />
'''Yugi:''' '''[[Subverted Trope|All of the homo!]]''' }}
* In ''[[Those Lacking Spines]]'', Riku of [[High School AU|Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School]] always tries to convince others he is straight, even though he obviously isn't.
{{quote| '''Sora:''' Right—and what are we betting?<br />
'''Riku:''' A kiss.<br />
'''Sora:''' What?<br />
'''Riku:''' I mean… a kick. In the ass. I'll kick your ass if you don't. Because I'm not gay or anything.<br />
'''Sora:''' Who said you were?<br />
'''Riku:''' Nobody. Because I'm not. Yeah. Totally straight. I love chicks. Yay boobs. }}
* An [[Imagine Spot]] in the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' fanfic ''[[Progress]]'' has [[Tomboy|Rainbow Dash]] loudly proclaim that she's not gay and that she'll "do every colt in Equestria to prove it".
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* Jay of the [[View Askewniverse]]. In ''[[Clerks]]'' he rambles about performing oral sex on Silent Bob (who remains completely deadpan throughout, suggesting he does this a lot), then leaps away, flexes menacingly and shouts, "I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN!" In ''[[Dogma]]'' his response to being accused of fantasizing about men is "not all the time," which is as good as an admission that he does ''some'' of the time. Then there's his habit of referring to Silent Bob as his "[[Heterosexual Life Partners|Hetero life-mate]]."
* Halfway through the "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNc7EPGpaRQ I Like Boys]" number in ''Teen Witch'', you'll be thinking those girls are obviously in serious denial.
{{quote| '''[[The Nostalgia Chick]]:''' Movie, stop! You're trying way too hard!}}
** From the comments section..."Having never seen the movie this is from I can only assume that this musical follows the story of a lonely lesbian girl who must deny her true passions while watching girls in leotards dance around the women's locker room singing about their heterosexuality."
* Rapper Alpa Chino in ''[[Tropic Thunder]]'' has built his career around this trope. {{spoiler|He's gay.}}
{{quote| ''I love the puss (hell yeah)/I love the pussy (hell yeah)/I love the pussy rollin' down to the floor''}}
* ''[[Gor|Outlaw of Gor]]''. Watney Smith is trying a little too hard to declare how turned on he is by girls, despite being the [[Stop Helping Me!|annoying sidekick]] of muscular blond hunk Cabot ("[[Ear Worm|CABOT!]]")
{{quote| '''Watney:''' ''(looking at a blond girl)'' Oooh, yeah, I love 'em!<br />
'''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000|Tom Servo]]:''' I am ''so'' heterosexual! }}
* Achilles with his words and actions in ''[[Troy]]'', since the very first minutes of the movie. Cousin. Totally my cousin. In conclusion: cousin.
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** The ''Iliad'' shows the two as close friends in the style of other Greek heroes; it was later Greek writers who put the two together as a couple. Pederasty was a practice of ''Classical'' Greece; evidence of it is practically nonexistent during Mycenaean times (when the Trojan war was thought to be fought) or during the Greek Dark Ages (when Homer was thought to have lived).
* It doesn't get more blatant than the last line in ''[[Clue (film)|Clue]]'', by a man being blackmailed for being supposedly gay:
{{quote| '''Mr. Green:''' I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife.}}
** Of course, the joke in that particular ending is that {{spoiler|he really ''isn't'' gay, he's an undercover FBI agent who has been pretending to be gay and to have been blackmailed for it}}. Or, arguably he really {{spoiler|is gay, having to pretend to his FBI superiors that he isn't gay and for the sake of the mission he had to "pretend to be gay".}}
* Seth in ''[[Superbad]]'': 90% of his dialogue is about how much he wants to have sex with girls who are far more attractive than a guy like him deserves, with the remaining 10% being devoted to his ''obsession'' with his "best friend" Evan.
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** A few scenes apparently equals one scene in Fellowship and the payoff of the marriage in Return of the king. Out of 12-ish hours of film. The fact that they got over the homophobic [[Values Dissonance]] that has come into play since the books were originally written and portrayed such a close platonic friendship between two men is progress.
** Oddly enough they felt no such need with Merry and Pippin, who are just about as blatant and actually end up living together at the end of the book. Maybe they just decided to go with it in that case.
* Nearly all male characters in the 2009 ''[[Star Trek (film)|Star Trek]]'' film find some way to imply their heterosexuality, as noted by [[Red Letter MediaRedLetterMedia]]'s review of the film.
* In ''[[Class Act]]'', hip-hop culture is ''so'' foreign to Duncan's father that when Duncan begins associating with Blade, his father thinks Duncan might be ''gay!'' He finds out the hard way at the end when he catches Duncan having sex with ''his girlfriend Damita''.
* In ''Orgazmo'', Dave the Lighting Guy has a habit of prefacing everything he's about to say with "I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin'..." with [[Running Gag|everything he says following this statement becoming increasingly homoerotic as the movie progresses.]]
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* On ''[[The Colbert Report]]'', Stephen Colbert isn't gay, but he does claim that "Men know what men like". He also claims that the "Gay Agenda" (e.g. baby carrots) is to turn him, specifically, gay.
** In the Christmas special, he repeatedly gets caught under mistletoe with his special guests. Eventually, he makes out with {{spoiler|[[Everything's Worse with Bears|a grizzly bear]]}}. The end credits make a point of noting that {{spoiler|'Female Bear' was played by Matt Brady}}.
** Then there's the rainbow-themed closet parties he threw in college. Or the spectacular line "refuting" the gay-rights argument that nobody accuses straight people of ''choosing'' to be straight -- itstraight—it went something like, "Damn right I chose to be straight! I wake up ''every morning'' and fight those urges!" Or [http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-june-11-2001/fruit-juice this] ''Daily Show'' piece which contains the classic line, "We don't ''hate'' gay people." [[Stupid Sexy Flanders|"We're just angry at the ones who turn us on."]]
** Played with on [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/268494/march-30-2010/ricky-martin-is-gay this segment]<ref> March 30, 2010</ref> when Ricky Martin came out of the closet.
{{quote| "Just look at him on the cover of ''Rolling Stone''! Surrounded by naked women... who I'm sure he is just seconds away from noticing! Right now, he's too busy staring straight into the viewers' eyes as if to say, "You and me man, both totally straight! Ha-cha!""}}
*** Skip to 01:50
** Or his verse at the 2011 Tony Awards production number, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6S5caRGpK4 "Not just for gays anymore"]:
{{quote| "I enjoy the theater, I've enjoyed it all my life,<br />
I enjoy it with my female woman wife!" }}
** And while we're on the subject, [[Author Avatar|Tek]] [[Marty Stu|Jansen]] has obviously had hundreds of girlfriends.
* It was rumored that ''[[Star Trek: Enterprise|Star Trek Enterprise]]'' was going to have the franchise's first openly gay main character, and that this character was Malcolm. In fact, it transpired the possibility had been discussed with the actor but was eventually rejected. In what may or may not have been a response to this, the writers started to show him talking about women or flirting with women pretty often. His actor Dominic Keating, however, [[Sarcastic Confession|declared]] that he played Reed gay anyway, and considering his interactions with [[Slap Slap Kiss|Tucker]], [[No Sense of Personal Space|Archer]], and [[Love At First Punch|Hayes]], fans tend to believe him.
** However, one episode involving the future crew being descended from the current crew as a result of time travel stated that he died a bachelor, causing him to look disappointed and vaguely pensive. It could be taken as an implication of his true sexuality, though that's probably not what was intended.
** [[Lampshaded]] in the final episode in which Riker is speaking to Malcolm and then appears to ask him if he found Trip attractive - we discover however the scene has secretly changed, and Riker is now addressing Hoshi.
** ''[[Star Trek: The Original Series|Star Trek the Original Series]]'': Have I mentioned [[The Kirk|I am]] screwing [[Green-Skinned Space Babe|Green Skinned Space Babes]], and ''[[Ho Yay|not]]'' [[The Spock|Green Blooded First Officers]] today? [[Fan Girl|Fangirls]] still [[Slash Fic|aren't]] [[The ShipsShip's Closet|convinced]].
* Inverted with Jody Campbell of ''[[Soap]]'' (played by a young Billy Crystal). In the earlier seasons, he would shoehorn mentions of his homosexuality into damn near every scene he was in.
** Though to be fair, this was usually in response to another character (usually Bert) either insinuating or overtly insisting that Jody would be less gay if he would only date more women/do manly things. So basically, nearly ''everyone'' in the cast was obsessed with pointing out (or, in some cases, rather stridently denying) how very gay Jody was.
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** There was also a great moment in Season 4 where he went to a doctor to sort out his sexuality, demanding he was gay even though he had a {{spoiler|biological baby with a woman he had gotten pregnant and was in love with another woman.}} [[No Bisexuals|Bisexuality was never introduced...]]
* ''[[Scrubs]]'': Turk and JD. Oh, Turk and JD.
{{quote| '''J.D.''': [waking from an [[Imagine Spot]]] STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!<br />
'''Turk''' (to Carla): Okay, we should go! }}
** Even in the [[Musical Episode]] in which they have ''an entire song'' celebrating their "Guy Love", they find it necessary to mention that "''There's nothing gay about it / In our eyes''".
* Jack Benjamin, crown prince of Gilboa in ''[[Kings]]'', does this as a matter of policy, making a big show of what a boozy, party-hard womaniser he is. He gets a horrible surprise when he finds out his father [[Transparent Closet|has known all along]]. Quoth king Silas: "I've been keeping pictures of our family out of the free press for years... Wrestle it to the ground, numb it with ice, but you ''cannot'' be what God made you. Not if you mean to take my place."
** Jack is, of course, the [[Ho Yay]] interpretation of King Saul's son Jonathan, who had a covenant and very... hands-on relationship with David--evenDavid—even while David was Saul's biggest enemy.
* In a ''[[Friends]]'' episode, when Chandler is trying to get a date for Rachel:
{{quote| '''Chandler:''' I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm? I mean? No, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay!<br />
'''Drew:''' I didn't think you were gay. I do now. }}
** There's also "The One With the Baby on the Bus"; a woman mistakes Joey and Chandler for a couple while they're out with Ben, so later when two women start talking to them, this occurs:
{{quote| '''Woman:''' So what are you guys out doing today?<br />
'''Joey:''' Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff. }}
* A variant occurs with the [[Narrator]] of ''Breaking the Magician's Code''. The male narrator takes the opportunity in every episode to mention to us just how much he appreciates the Masked Magician's hot female assistants. This is, of course, accompanied by the camera work adopting a [[Male Gaze]].
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* With all of the [[Ho Yay]] on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?]]'', Colin Mochrie has reassured the audience that he is heterosexual when things have gotten waaay over-the-top.
** After Ryan talks about how much he and Colin love show tunes:
{{quote| '''Colin:''' I'm married!}}
** After Ryan kisses him on the lips to incite a Drew Carey [[Spit Take]]:
{{quote| '''Colin:''' I need to get home to my wife...}}
** In one episode, Colin's CD pitchman character doubles this trope with [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]].
{{quote| '''Ryan:''' That sounds great, doesn't it?<br />
'''Colin:''' It sure does! [[Non Sequitur|I'm not confused about my sexuality at all!]] }}
** Finally gets [[Lampshaded]] in a session of ''Weird Newscasters'' where weatherman Ryan is "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCdkV8MOcDQ "trying to quell rumors that he's gay"].
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* Parodied in a sketch on ''[[Smack the Pony]]'', involving two female actresses filming a lesbian kiss scene. One of them, clearly somewhat homophobic, is given to loudly expressing how disgusting she finds the whole process once the cameras have stopped filming, and at one point demands that an aide call her fiancee and "tell him I love him." Unfortunately for her, her co-star is [[Les Yay|clearly nursing quite a heavy crush on her]] at least, and keeps suggesting that they might need to retake the scene a little too frequently and eagerly.
* ''[[Seinfeld]]'' gives us this gem:
{{quote| '''Jerry:''' "This jacket has completely changed my life."<br />
'''George:''' "Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality."<br />
'''Jerry:''' "Of course."<br />
'''George:''' "It's fabulous." }}
* ''MAD TV'' parodied [[Michael Jackson]]'s "You Rock My World" and its video as "I Do Like Girls", referencing the tendency of several of his videos (including this one) to portray him as a ladykiller, while his [[Real Life]] behavior suggested he that part of his private life, well, private. Anything that did go off-message was too odd to tell.
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** In "Let It Bleed" we also get "I was too busy having sex with women." (Naturally, fans have often interpreted this as [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]] for Dean.)
* This lyric from the 'Pretty Bunsun' number on [[Muppets Tonight]]
{{quote| '''Jonny Fiama:''' ''Pretty Bunsun...I'm not really into that...}}
* An almost laughable use of this trope in one episode of [[The George Lopez Show]], where a girl that can easily be confused for having to fathers has one or both of the men say some line that assures the audience that they sleep with tons of women all the time, multiple times, in every scene that they were in.
* John Watson from ''[[Sherlock]]'' is very adamant on his straightness. Unfortunately, nobody believes him, not even his girlfriends. Saying 'I'm not gay!' doesn't ring very true since he's more or less obsessed with Sherlock, would die for him in a heartbeat and displays unbelievable amounts of jealousy over Sherlock's connection with Irene Adler. The fact that he and Sherlock are terminally codependent and all but boyfriends anyway doesn't help. At this point, it's entirely possible not even ''John'' believes his own assertions.
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* The ''[[Team America: World Police]]'' song "Only a Woman" plays this for laughs: ''Only a woman can brighten up my day/Only a woman can touch me the right way/Only a woman is allowed to touch me there/All I ask is that you're a woman. (Or a man.)''
* [[Jon Lajoie]]'s character MC Vagina in the song "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC03hmS1Brk I Kill People]":
{{quote| So if you'll come at me I'll trip you then I'll suck your nuts<br />
I-i mean I'll punch your nuts<br />
Sucking them would be gay and I'm totally not gay<br />
I'm all about V-A-G-I-N-A. }}
* Tone Lōc's "Funky Cold Medina", the narrator pretty much admits to [[Slipping a Mickey|drink]] [[Tampering with Food and Drink|tampering]] to lure "Sheena" into his bed with a [[Love Potion]]... only to make a very ugly about-face on realising that Sheena was [[Unsettling Gender Reveal|assigned male at birth]]:
 
{{quote|''So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no [[Depraved Homosexual|Oscar Meyer wiener]]
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina
You know, ain't no plans with a man
This is [[The Eighties]] and I'm down with the ladies
Ya know?''}}
 
== Theater ==
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* ''[[Gears of War]] 2'' arguably does this. After the raft of jokes about about the homo-erotic 'macho man' overtones of the first game the second repeatedly refers to Dom's Wife and hints at a romance between Marcus and Anya that never serves any purpose beyond re-enforcing his heterosexuality.
** The achievements for the Co-Op Campaign go the other way with names like "Dom-Curious" in GoW 1, and "One Night Stand", "Open Relationship", and "Friends with Benefits" in GoW 2. Speaking of which...
* Taken to almost absurd levels in ''[[Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots]]''. Snake and Otacon are living together with an adopted daughter at the start of the game, so rumor has it that Otacon was hooked up with {{spoiler|Naomi}} in an attempt to sink the Snake/Otacon ship, {{spoiler|she dies}} three-quarters of the way of the game, leaving Otacon free to dedicate himself to staying by Snake's side in the Epilogue.
* Mocked and subverted (in that it brings forth more [[Ho Yay]] rather then denying it), in ''[[Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World]]''. In a sketch after discovering that [[The Atoner|Regal]] killed a loved one, Emil begins to wonder if he could kill [[Friendly Enemy|Richter]]...[[Foe Yay|At which point he lamely tries to explain the difference between his like for Richter and actual romantic affection]]. Keep in mind that this is his [[Inner Monologue]]...
** In the first game, one of the things Zelos says in his first encounter with the party is "I'm not interested in talking to guys", which is occasionally taken as borderline [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]], or at least protesting a bit too much.
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** She does have a [[Justified Trope|justification]]. She has fallen for Ash, but Ash suffered an accidental [[Gender Bender]], and fully intends to revert said condition. So if Emily turns out to be lesbian, their relationship will not be possible. Unless she turns out to be bi. And all of this is assuming she even remembers that Ash used to be a girl for a while when he turns back into a guy. It's complicated.
* Hunter of ''[[Suicide for Hire]]'' does this to some extent when explaining why he defended homosexuality by holding a congregation of protesters at gunpoint. [[Justified Trope]] in this case because he's a teenage boy discussing his actions with his best friend who is also a teenage boy, and possibly also because a flashback shows his father's, er, enthusiastic attempts to ensure his son's heterosexuality (by giving him porn when he was thirteen).
* Monette of ''[[Something *Positive]]'' originally made a point of reassuring everyone she met that she was not ''straight''. And she failed miserably, because she always slept with every guy within reach... [[Noodle Incident|and a koala]]. She has since improved on keeping her, or just met the right woman.
** Actually, if this troper remembers right, Monette finally decided not to label herself as either gay or straight, and settled on identifying herself as bisexual.
* Subverted in ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'' - Nanase was constantly reminding herself she's straight and blames her attraction to Ellen on Ellen's [[Love Is in the Air|pheromonic powers]], only to find out Ellen doesn't have them anymore, which means she really ''is'' a lesbian. Played straight with Tedd, who has often denied being gay because of his [[Bishounen|appearance]]. Of course, considering what [[Gender Bender|regularly]] [[The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body|happens]] in this webcomic, the sexuality of any main cast member, at some point, becomes quite debatable.
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* Faz of ''[[Shortpacked]]'' seems to go out of his way to pursue women simply to reinforce his belief that he's straight, even though all evidence (including his actual sexual relations in the past) contradicts this.
** Specifically, he chose purity over sleeping with Galasso's hot daughter, and slept with Ninja Rick. However, the latter was only so he could become a [[Twofer Token Minority]] (gay and Asian) and keep his job, and he has made repeated advances on Amber, which she hasn't reciprocated. He also seemed sad when Amber hugged him and [http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/03-minorities-report/mom-2/ he revealed he's never touched a woman as much as a simple hug before.] Bottom line is that he may be straight, bi, or gay, but he ''is'' clearly messed up.
{{quote| '''Faz:''' Faz requires platonic intimacy.}}
* In the later issues of ''[[Sonichu]],'' every handful of pages is guaranteed to have more than a few carefully veiled hints that the main characters ''and'' the comic creator is straight, and usually more than a few not-so-carefully veiled hints, along the lines of "I, Christian Weston Chandler, am straight". He sure brings this up a lot for some reason.
** From [[Too Much Information|what we've seen,]] he's in the [[Transparent Closet]]. [[Depraved Homosexual|It's not good press]] [[Depraved Bisexual|for either sexual orientation.]]
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** Sonya, the waitress Zii tricks into making out with her. Notable in that she doesn't invoke the trope until later that night... while eating Zii out. And after that, apparently obsessively, on a daily basis.
** That is to say, she apparently eats girls out. On a daily basis (her boyfriend has taken to bringing other girls home for threesomes). All while invoking this trope.
{{quote| '''Sonya''': Thanks to ''you'', I eat ''pussy'' on a ''nightly basis!''<br />
'''''*CRASH*''' as her waitress friend overhears and [[Drop What You Are Doing|drops a pot of coffee]].''<br />
'''Sonya''': I'm... I'm really not a lesbian! }}
* Belkar Bitterleaf of ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'', despite being a shameless womanizer, is adamant about asserting his masculinity at every turn, displaying [[Squick]] at the slightest signs of [[Ho Yay]]. He seems far more concerned about it than anyone else in the cast.
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* Played with in this ''[[Terminal Lance]]'' [http://terminallance.com/2010/04/30/terminal-lance-34-its-already-gay/ strip].
* In ''[[Homestuck]]'', Jake gets like this in his conversation with the autoresponder, [[Anachronic Order|presumably after Dirk confesses and Jake rejects him]]. To be fair, AR ''was'' being deliberately combative and confrontational about the whole thing.
{{quote| '''GT:''' *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.* <br />
'''GT:''' *NONSUGGESTIVELY!!!!!* <br />
'''GT:''' Um. <br />
'''GT:''' Yeah. }}
* The (fictional) publisher of ''[[Jet Dream (webcomic)|Jet Dream]]'' comic books created comics loaded with [[Gender Bender]] and [[Wholesome Crossdresser]] characters, but strictly limited boy-on-boy contact (even when one of the boys looked just like a girl) to "D-F-K" (Dance-Flirt-Kiss), and then only for "training purposes." This was apparently due to his idiosyncratic belief that at the dawn of [[The Seventies]], men needed to adopt a [[We Can Rule Together|"Fem Is In!"]] lifestyle to survive in the [[Cloudcuckooland|brave new mostly-female world]] that would ultimately arise from Womens' Lib, sperm banks, test-tube babies, and cloning.
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* Mackenzie Blaise from ''[[Tales of MU]]'' spends a lot of time [[Unreliable Narrator|reminding the readers that she isn't a lesbian]], but her relationships with women say otherwise, She's goes into some pretty heavy denial at first - For example, upon having sex with Amaranth for the first time, her initial reaction is to deny that what they'd done counted as sex, and then to inquire into whether Amaranth possessed any special abilities that cause otherwise straight girls to be attracted to her. Eventually, she gets over it.
* Played straight and then subverted hard at the very last moment in the ''[[Zero Punctuation]]'' review of ''[[Guitar Hero]] III''. Mentioning several times how he got together with guy friends to play the game, in a manly and completely heterosexual way, he finishes the review with:
{{quote| "...but it's just not as much fun as tonguing another man's balls. [[[Beat]]] I mean, as it used to be. ...''I'm not gay''".}}
** Also mentioned occasionally and in a off-handed way in subsequent reviews. Often just a quick "Not gay" thrown in after a particularity gay statement.
** After a possibly love-hurt [[Non Sequitur]] in his ''Sims 3'' review where concludes that all women are evil, he ends "Incidently, I'm still not gay." (His animated character starts lifting weights as a manly activity.)
** Even in his ''Extra Punctuation'' coverage of ''[[Dragon Age]] 2'', where he talks about how he pursued a homosexual romance with a male character and even did a little roleplay on it, to show how roleplay in video games shouldn't reflect on what kind of person you are in real life...he still mentioned his heterosexuality quite a few times...and then stated that [[David Bowie]] used to be an extremely sexy man.
* The [title of show] Show's "What is [title of show]?" [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlqXHKstV-o\] bit from Episode 3: "Hey Jim, I'm straight, did you watch the game last night?"
* ''Man in the Box'': Cameron. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GFbrqoPYR4\]
* Justified-ish in the Athena #1 review on ''[[Atop the Fourth Wall]]''. Linkara takes a moment to announce that his dislike of female objectification and pointless nudity is ''not'' due to having a disinterest in the female form, since he is not gay. He then apologized to his male gay and bisexual viewers for this, because he's nice like that.
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** When Dethklok reveals that they will be designing a line of clothing, Murderface takes the podium and assures everyone that even though he is about to enter the fashion industry, he is not gay.
* Tyler had a line like this on ''[[Total Drama World Tour]],'' when he introduces himself to [[Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful|Alejandro]] right after a bunch of admiring girls did:
{{quote| '''Tyler:''' I like girls.}}
** Owen also gets this when [[Even the Guys Want Him|Justin]] is around. Unlike Tyler, it's [[Ambiguously Gay|less clear]] that he's [[Bi the Way|entirely straight]].
* ''[[The Simpsons (animation)|The Simpsons]]'' plays with this in ''Future-Drama'':
{{quote| ''[Waylon Smithers enters with a woman holding his arm]''<br />
'''Bart''': Mr. Smithers? I thought you were, you know-- uh.<br />
'''Smithers''': Ha ha, no I'm straight. As long as I take these injections every ten minutes. ''[he injects himself]'' I LOVE BOOBIES! }}
* ''[[Pasila]]'': Rauno Repomies is interviewed for television, but since someone mentioned the possibility that they might suggest that he's gay, he spends most of the interviews proclaiming he's not, until {{spoiler|the only way to get out of the situation with honour is to admit that he is, even though it's not even true.}}
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* According to [http://www.avclub.com/articles/bronson-pinchot,34310/ Bronson Pinchot], [[Tom Cruise]] was like this on the set of ''[[Risky Business]]''.
** It should also be noted that when Tom Cruise's marriage to [[Nicole Kidman]] was breaking up, he ''sued'' a French gay porn star who claimed they'd done the deed. There was a reason for that ''[[South Park]]'' episode.
{{quote| "Daaaaad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!"}}
** Or the episode of ''[[Family Guy]]'' that suggests that the reason Cruise runs in all his movies is to escape his own gay thoughts (represented by an [[Imagine Spot]] balloon of himself noticing attractive men on the film crew).
* Let's face it--weit—we all know somebody like this.
** We probably all ''[[Acceptable Inevitable Targets|were]]'' like this at one point in our lives, that point most commonly being [[Hormone-Addled Teenager|early puberty.]]
* One famous example: When Cindy Crawford and Richard Gere were married there were rumors that the marriage was a cover for one or both of them being gay. In 1994 they placed a full page paid advertisement in the London Times to state "We are heterosexual and monogamous and take our commitment to each other very seriously."
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* When Cybil Shepherd addressed the 1993 gay rights March on Washington, she opened her speech by recounting how her father asked her, "Why are you addressing the rally? You're straight!" Gotta make sure to get that in the first paragraph, don't you know.
* From an actual magazine cover: ''"[[Justin Bieber]]! He's young! He's a star! And he just loooooooooooves girls!"'' Glad we cleared ''that'' up...
** From an official Justin Bieber bio book: "GIRLS GIRLS ''GIRLS'' '''[https://web.archive.org/web/20111012233806/http://tcforums.com/public/temp/bieberisnotgay.jpg GIRLS]'''"<ref> [[Father Ted|DRINK! FECK!]]</ref>
** This is not necessarily to emphasise his heterosexuality. The real reason Bieber is so popular among prepubescent girls is because he is a poster-boy for [[G-Rated Sex]].
* Christian Weston Chandler has a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj0TmphLDsQ&feature=related bit] of a problem with this.
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[[Category:Truth in Television]]
[[Category:Fanfic Tropes]]
[[Category:Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:This Index Asked You a Question]]