I'd Tell You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

{{quote|'''Doctor:''' Oh, Mr. Holmes, I would love to tell you, but then, of course, I'd have to kill you.

 

[[Schmuck Bait|Tell me anyway!]]

{{examples}}

 

* Japanese speakers don't have this [[Stock Phrase]], but people like [[Gundam Wing|Heero Yuy]] skip straight to "''omae wo korosu''" when people like Relena Dorlian find out too much.

 

== [[Film]] ==

{{quote|'''Maverick''': We happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.

'''Charlie''': Where did you see this?

* ''[[American Psycho]]''

{{quote|'''Paul Allen:''' Well, Halberstram, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill ya.}}

* In one of the [[The Witcher]] books, Geralt finds himself present during a sorcerous putsch, and the putchists capture him. Asking the leader what's going on, he is told sarcastically,

{{quote|{{spoiler|Philippa Eilhart}}: "Blessed are those who do not know, for they shall live a while longer."}}

 

== [[Literature]] ==

** An even more perfect example, from the sequel ''The Vicomte de Bragelonne'': "It's a state secret," replied d'Artagnan, bluntly: "and as you know that, according to the king's orders, it is under the penalty of death any one should penetrate it, I will, if you like, allow you to read it and have you shot immediately afterwards." (The secret in question is the identity of the [[Man in the Iron Mask]].)

 

* ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]]'': A scene between Weyoun, Damar, and Damar's lady friend, in the war room.

{{quote|'''Weyoun:''' "I have news."

'''Daisy:''' What, is is a secret?

'''Mike:''' No. }}

 

== [[Music]] ==

* MF DOOM in the song "Superfriends": "I don't think you wanna know, even if you still do, and want me to, I'll tell you, but then I'll have to kill you."

* [["Weird Al" Yankovic]]'s ode to [[Espionage Tropes]], "Party in the CIA": "Burn that microfilm, buddy, will you, / I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you."

 

== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==

* Said [https://web.archive.org/web/20090618073401/http://dribibu.xs4all.nl/dilbert20070902.html almost verbatim] in a ''[[Dilbert]]'' strip.

 

* In ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'' one suggested variant on "That information is outside your security clearance" is... well, this trope.

 

* ''[[Banjo-Kazooie]]: Nuts and Bolts'': if you pay Bottles the Mole 6,000 musical notes (the highest price for any single item in the game) to tell you the "truth" about the infamous Stop 'n' Swop, he responds with "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, and we can't show that in a game with this rating. Thanks for the notes!"

* Blair, in ''[[Wing Commander (video game)|Wing Commander]] IV'' when he comes aboard the TCS ''Lexington'', uses this line to poke fun at Maniac.

 

== [[Web Comics]] ==

{{quote|[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid{{=}}009.jpg GOD. DAAAAAAMMNN]. }}

* Seen in ''[[Xkcd]]'' where one character asks another what he's up to and receives the reply [http://xkcd.com/707/ "If I told you, I'd have to kill you. I mean, sooner."]

* In one ''[[El Goonish Shive]]'' strip Justin [http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2010-11-29 worries] that Mr Verres may have to kill him over things he's ''already'' told him.

 

* [[Bum Reviews|Chester A. Bum]] admits that he's Super-Bum. He then says that since he's told you, he'll have to kill you.

** Good news is he's just joking- he actually makes the viewer impotent.

 

* Referenced in [[Kim Possible]]. A soldier working on a top secret project blurts out "Neutronalizer" during Wade's briefing. Mr. Dr. Possible asks "This isn't one of those, 'I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you' sort of things is it?'

 

 

[[Category:Stock Phrases]]

[[Category:Id Tell You But Then Id Have To Kill You]]