I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|''"For a show such as this to have lasted thirty years might be thought achievement enough in itself. But to have brought joy and laughter to thousands of listeners ... might at least have been worth a try."''|'''Humphrey Lyttelton''', 30th-Anniversary special}}
 
[[Panel Game]] (according to the introduction, "the antidote to panel games") broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and the "classic radio" station BBC 7. Born in 1972, it was something of a continuation of the [[Sketch Show]] ''[[I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (Radio)|I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again]]'' (which was also the origin of ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'' and ''[[The Goodies (TV)|The Goodies]]''). The main difference was that, as a panel game, they didn't need to write any scripts.
 
The chairman was Humphrey Lyttelton, a jazz trumpeter (the thinking being that improvisational comedy owed a lot to jazz), who created the persona of a curmudgeonly [[Deadpan Snarker]] who would rather be doing something else. ''Anything'' else. The regular panelists for most of the show's history were Barry Cryer, Willie Rushton, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden (the third Goodie, Bill Oddie, was in Series 1). After Rushton's death in 1996, the fourth panelist became a rotating position<ref>Jeremy Hardy usually appears once a series, and some of the more frequent guests have included Rob Brydon, Stephen Fry, Andy Hamilton, Tony Hawks, Paul Merton, David Mitchell and Sandi Toksvig</ref>. Because of the show's pedigree, and the fact that the regulars have the final say in who the guests are, being asked to appear on the show is seen as an honour (and many have turned down the opportunity for fear they might ruin it).
 
Other people on the show include Colin Sell, the long-suffering pianist, and Samantha, the entirely fictional scorer, about whom many [[Double Entendre|Double Entendres]] are made. Colin Sell's stand-in as duty pianist was veteran jokester musician [[Neil Innes]], best known for the ''[[Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band]]'' and ''[[The Rutles]]'' (and as Robin's Lead Minstrel in ''[[Monty Python and the Holy Grail]]''). Humph introduced him as 'a man whose royalty payments on "I'm The Urban Spaceman" have just run out', to which Innes responded with several bars of the Death March from ''Aida''.
 
While winning and losing is [[The Points Mean Nothing|seldom an important part of Panel Games]], ''ISIHAC'' views it as entirely irrelevant. In one 1997 episode, Humph commented, "It's just occurred to me Samantha hasn't given us the score. Since 1981." It would be impossible to determine who won most of the games anyway, given that many of them don't make any sense, and the "Complete Quotes" round has the warning "points will be deducted for a correct answer".
 
Most of the games are simply excuses for a [[Hurricane of Puns]], but some have a surreality bordering on nonsensical. These include "Celebrity ''[[What's My Line (TV)?|What's My Line]]''" (in which the panel has to guess what a celebrity does for a living), versions of board games and other quizzes (where the joke is that we need to see what's going on to understand it), and, of course the Great Game, Mornington Crescent (a game of complex and subtle rules which, [[Calvin Ball|to the uninitiated]], sounds like people shouting out tube stations at random) and its boardgame cousin Boardo! (complete with rattling dice and clicking counters).
 
There are also some musical rounds in the show. While the most popular musical game in the early years was the "Blues" (where each team has to create one on the spot), the three most popular throughout most of the show's run are "One Song to the Tune of Another" (which is self-evident, although [[Running Gag|Humph thinks]] [[Expospeak Gag|otherwise]]), "Pick-Up Song" (where each of the team members have to sing along to a song which is muted half way through and still be in time with the lyrics when the sound is turned back up) and "Swanee-Kazoo" (where each team has to play a given song with a swanee whistle and a kazoo). There's usually a [[Running Gag]] at the expense of guest Jeremy Hardy whenever he's on the show as he's a hilariously terrible singer (which has extended to jokes about said singing even [[Butt Monkey|when he's not present]]).
 
The show has won three Golden Sony Awards, including one for ''I'm Sorry I Haven't A Christmas Carol'', a [[Christmas Episode]] which cast all the regulars and guest panelists into a version of ''[[A Christmas Carol]]'' and somehow managed to force most of the games into the storyline. This was followed a couple of years later with ''Humph [[Alice in Wonderland (Literature)|In Wonderland]]''.
 
The future of the show was in doubt following Lyttelton's death in 2008, although Series 51 was aired in mid-2009 with [[Stephen Fry]], Jack Dee, and Rob Brydon [[Guest Host|taking over the chair for two episodes]] each. The show returned to its regular schedule with Dee chairing every episode later that year. Although it has not been definitively stated that he is the full-time replacement, Dee has chaired every series since.
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=== Double Feature ===
The panellists combine the names of films to make puns. Really, that's it. Puns can be literal (such as ''[[wikipedia:Half a Sixpence (film)|Half A Sixpence]]'', ''[[The Dirty Dozen]]'' and ''[[The Exorcist (Film)|The Exorcist]]'' being combined to make ''Half A Dozen Eggs''). The meaning of the title can be used rather than the words. (Such as ''[['Allo 'Allo (TV)!|Allo Allo]]'', ''[[wikipedia:Boom! (1968 film)|Boom]]'' and ''[[Farewell My Lovely (Film)|Farewell My Lovely]]'' combining to make ''A Short, Meaningless Relationship''. Or ''[[Lord of the Flies (Literature)|Lord of the Flies]]'' and ''[[Flash Gordon (Filmfilm)|Flash Gordon]]'' combining to make ''Would You Mind Accompanying Me To The Station''?) Then there are the truly ''magnificient'' puns, such as Barry combining ''[[Superman (Filmfilm)|Superman]]'', ''[[KellysKelly's Heroes (Film)|Kellys Heroes]]'', ''[[The French Connection]]'', ''Al Capone'', ''[[Fantastic Voyage (Filmfilm)|Fantastic Voyage]]'', ''Man With the X-Ray Eyes'', ''[[The Princess and Thethe Pea]]'', ''[[Nightmare Alley (Film)|Nightmare Alley]]'' and ''The Duchess and the Dustman'' to make ''[[Mary Poppins|Superkellyfrenchaltasticexpeaalleyduchess]]''. Used to be very popular, but the last time it popped up was in 1995.
 
=== Film Club ===
The chairman gives a profession for a film club, book club, or song book, and the panellists make puns based on the profession, changing around the titles of films/books/songs in order to fit this particular profession. (Such as the bakers' film club -- [[Ben -Hur|Bun Hur]], [[Citizen Kane|Citizen Cake]] and [[The Last Temptation of Christ|The Last Temptation Of Crust]].) Graeme [[Running Gag|invariably]] makes a pun on ''[[Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia]]''. Still played often.
 
=== Good News, Bad News ===
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=== Just A Minim ===
The chairman gives one of the panellists a song which they must sing [[Just a Minute (Radio)|without hesitation, repetition or deviation]]. (The songs are always picked to make this as ridiculously difficult as possible, such as ''Old Macdonald Had A Farm'' or ''It's Not Unusual''.) Other panellists may challenge at any time if they detect hesitation, repetition or deviation, and if the chairman judges that their challenge is correct, they take over from the point where the previous singer left off. Takes its inspiration, rather obviously, from ''[[Just a Minute (Radio)|Just a Minute]]'' -- Jack has taken to chairing the game using a caricature of Nicholas Parsons' energetic, enthusiastic speaking style. Still played occassionally, often as a substitute to Swanee-Kazoo.
 
=== Karaoke-Cokey ===
The entire audience get a song displayed on the laser display board, and have to hum it. The panellists attempt to guess what it is. In the live tours, each member of the audience gets their own kazoo for this round. Rarely played, but still pops up occassionally.
 
=== Last Episodes ===
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The chairman asks a question to one of the panellists. They suggest a possible answer, the chairman gives the real answer, and so on. Usually, after everyone's had a go, the rest of the questions are free-for-all, where anyone may give their answer.
 
* [["Not Making This Up" Disclaimer]]: At the more ridiculous questions, Humph would insist they were all "out of a real book".
 
=== One Song To The Tune Of Another ===
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----
{{tropelist}}
=== Tropes: ===
 
== A-M ==
 
* [[AcCENT Upon the Wrong SylLABle]]: Humph would usually do this rather subtly, placing -- or ''neglecting'' to place -- emphasis on a word to completely change the meaning of the sentence.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' The chairman of ''[[Just a Minute (Radio)|Just a Minute]]'' is, of course, the irrepressible Nicholas Parsons. I never miss him.}}
* [[Actor Allusion]]: In a round of ''Karaokey-Cokey'', the audience were given ''[[The Goodies (TV)|The Funky Gibbon]]'' to hum. About three seconds in, Tim gets it and bursts out laughing.
** A few panellists have also been tasked with accompanying themselves in ''Pick-Up Song'', such as Tony Hawks singing along to ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAIOzM7SsMo Stutter Rap]'' and Barry singing along to his cover of ''The Purple People Eater''.
* [[Affectionate Parody]]: Of other panel games and [[Game Show|Game Shows.]]
** Most notable is the "[[Just a Minute (Radio)|Just A Minim]]" round, where they have to sing a well-known song without hesitation, repetition, or deviation -- needless to say, the songs are deliberately chosen to make this hard, ''Old McDonald Had A Farm'' being one hilarious example. Since Jack Dee took over as host, the parody has extended to Jack channelling ''[[Just a Minute]]'' chairman Nicholas Parsons' effusive hosting style.
** In unrelated rounds that involve the buzzer (such as 'Word for Word'), panellists (particularly Tim <ref> who, ironically, has made the fewest appearances on ''[[Just a Minute]]'' of the three surviving regulars, with three appearances compared to Graeme's seven and Barry's 26</ref>) have also been known to issue challenges of hesitation, deviation or repetition.
* [[The Alcoholic]]: What everyone believes Barry to be. In one round of ''Sound Charades'', Tim and Jeremy do the title ''[[Miracle Onon Thirty Fourth34th Street]]'' with this:
{{quote| '''Jeremy:''' Where are we?<br />
'''Tim:''' Somewhere between...thirty-third and thirty-fifth street.<br />
'''Jeremy:''' Oh, there's a pub along here. Fancy a drink, Barry? ...Cryer, that is?<br />
'''Tim:''' No, no, not for me, thanks.<br />
...<br />
'''Barry:''' Something incredible on thirty-fourth street. Something you would hardly believe on thirty-fourth street...I find all this incredibly offensive, incidentally... }}
** Another example, from a round of ''Complete Quotes'':
{{quote| '''Humph:''' "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am, I am..."<br />
'''Graeme:''' '''Course'' you are, Mr Cryer, now if you could just blow into this tube... }}
** In one episode, Humph mentions that Barry proposed to his wife in a pub and, gripped with the romance of the moment, even got ''up'' on one knee.
* [[And There Was Much Rejoicing]]: Whenever Jeremy Hardy's turn comes up in [[Hollywood Tone Deaf|a music round]], or a game of Mornington Crescent is announced.
** In a straighter example of the trope, Colin is once accidentally shot during a round of [[Russian Roulette]]. Humph immediately shouts "Yes!"
* [[Arch Enemy]]: Humph has Nicholas Parsons, the bright and cheerful host of ''[[Just a Minute (Radio)|Just a Minute]]''.
* [[Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?]]: In the limerick rounds, the panellists would often come up with bizarre lines out of nowhere.
{{quote| '''Humph''': Graeme, here's a first line for you. "While out on the shores of Loch Ness..."<br />
'''Graeme''': "...I was startled to see Rudolf Hess..." }}
* [[Artifact Title]]: The title was originally meant to echo ''[[I'm Sorry, IllI'll Read That Again]]'', but since ''Clue'' has outlived its parent show by decades, a lot more people know about ''Clue'' than ''ISIRTA''. Also, the subtitle "the antidote to panel games" doesn't make as much sense now as it used to -- back when it was created, there were way more 'serious' panel games on the BBC, rather than the generally comic tone [[QI|of]] [[Never Mind the Buzzcocks|those]] [[Mock the Week|played]] [[Would I Lie to You?|nowadays]]. Graeme once jokingly suggested to change it to "the template for panel games".
* [[Audience Participation]]: Sometimes prompted, sometimes spontaneous.
** In ''Sound Charades'', the audience will react with either applause or booing depending on how accurate the guesses of the guessing team are.
** In ''Pick-Up Song'', they occassionally clap (something pointed out by Humph is that the audience seldom know the exact rhythm, thus misleading the singer into going faster or slower than they should) or sing along.
** In Mornington Crescent, they applaud, collectively gasp, cheer -- and one or two members of the audience has actually yelled out possible moves.
** And, of course:
{{quote| '''Humph:''' And prizes mean points. What do prizes mean?<br />
'''Audience:''' ''(hesitant)'' Points!<br />
'''Humph:''' ...Well, at least you're halfway intelligent. }}
* [[Bait and Switch]]:
{{quote| '''Butler''': This is Lord Bedside.<br />
'''Lord Bedside''': How do you do. Welcome to Bedside House.<br />
'''Butler''': I thought you were going to say "Manor", sir.<br />
'''Lord Bedside''': Yes, so I was. Welcome to Manor House. }}
** Also, from "Late Arrivals To The Television Ball":
{{quote| '''Tim:''' Mr. and Mrs. [[Monty Python's Flying Circus|Pythonsflyingcircus]]... ''(loud crowd cheer)'' ...and their son...Arthur!}}
* [[Blatant Lies]]: The entire point of the game ''Misleading Advice'' is to supply these, with the purpose to confuse and cause chaos.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' London policemen are affectionately known as "titface".<br />
'''Graeme:''' If you're invited for a game of croquet, it's traditional to give your host a gift of a dozen moles.<br />
'''Bill Bailey:''' In England, the hedgehog is sacred. }}
** Also, there was a one-off round called ''Blatant Lies''. Tim, with Phill Jupitus on his team, said "[[Take That|I never miss]] ''[[Never Mind the Buzzcocks]]''...", to which Phill responded "[[Take That|I love]] ''[[The Goodies (TV)|The Goodies]]''..."
* [[Borrowed Catchphrase]]: In one round of ''Sound Charades'', Tim and Phill Jupitus opened their charade with "Hamish!" "Dougal!" The audience still cheered.
* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]]: Most often used in the intro to ''Swanee-Kazoo''.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Once an odd combination, the swanee whistle and the kazoo now go together as well as bangers and mash, fish and chips, and diarrhea and vomiting.}}
* [[Brief Accent Imitation]]: One way of playing the "Pick-up Song" round.
** Occasionally leads into [[Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping]] (such as when Marcus Brigstocke found it difficult to keep a straight face whilst accompanying Shaggy's "Mr Boombastic").
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** If Colin ever speaks up, someone will usually respond with either "Sorry, who are you?" or "You keep out of this".
* [[Calvin Ball]]: Mornington Crescent and several other games, including "Boardo" which includes elements of every board game ever, and the "Quiz Of Quizzes" which does the same thing for other [[Panel Games]] and game shows.
{{quote| '''Humph''': So, Barry and Graeme, you were right to go lower. And Tim gets ten points. Tim, question or nominate?<br />
'''Tim''': [[Fifteen to One|Nominate Graeme!]]<br />
'''Humph''': No, the correct answer is "nominate Barry". You lose ten points. }}
* [[Captain Obvious]]: In a round of "Closed Quotes" where the players had to complete superstitions:
{{quote| '''Humph''': See a pin, pick it up, all day long you'll have...<br />
'''Barry''': A pin. }}
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Subverted; Humph regularly borrows other game show catchphrases...and gets them wrong.
** Quite a lot of games have catchphrases of their own:
{{quote| "Bring me the catchphrase of Alfredo Garcia!"}}
** "Adjudication, Humph?" said by Barry, whenever an argument about the rules of Mornington Crescent cropped up.
** Back when the show still ended every show with "The [Profession] Ball", the phrase "Will you welcome, please, Mr. and Mrs..." was often used, and frequently subverted, being substituted with poetic nonsense.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' Lift the hems of several garments!<br />
'''Graeme:''' Snap your garters with riddled mirth! }}
* [[Christmas Episode]]: 2003's ''[[A Christmas Carol|I'm Sorry I Haven't a Christmas Carol]]'' and 2007's ''[[Alice in Wonderland (Literature)|Humph in Wonderland]]'', which cast the regulars and guests in retellings of the respective stories that managed to shoehorn in as many of the usual games as possible. There have also been several Christmas-themed editions of the "regular" show.
* [[Cloudcuckoolander]]: Mrs. Trellis of North Wales, who writes many letters, e-mails, texts and so on to the show under the mistaken belief that she's writing to another show, always confusing the chairman for some other programme host. Usually, these messages make some amount of sense. Sometimes, they're just...weird.
{{quote| ''Dear Mr. Nick,''<br />
''I'm on the train.''<br />
''Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis'' }}
** This was an example of a joke about people on the train who answer their mobile phone (then a relatively new thing) and loudly and obnoxiously talk about inane things (stereotypically beginning 'I'm on a train'), to the annoyance of the other passengers. In [[The Nineties]] they were so prevalent to be a time-specific [[Mattress Tag Gag]] (see ''[[Trigger Happy TV]]'').
** The letters are usually puns, topical jokes, or, as stated above, jokes about communication. (An e-mail from Mrs. Trellis is usually filled with confused strokes and slashes, for instance.)
{{quote| ''Dear Dr. Clare,''<br />
''So glad that Tim Brooke-Taylor is back. Without him the show was like Hamlet without the balcony scene.'' }}
* [[Comically Missing the Point]]: A frequent source of humour (as in ''Celebrity What's My Line?'', where a celebrity is introduced and the panellists have to guess what they do for a living).
** Often in ''Sound Charades'', when the guessing team have figured the charade out, they'll name something humorously out of the blue.
{{quote| '''Graeme:''' A boy called Harry...who's doing something naughty.<br />
'''Barry:''' Or dirty.<br />
'''Graeme:''' Ah, yes. ''Dirty Potter''! }}
* [[The Comically Serious]]: Any time a patently ridiculous round is introduced, the chairman will explain the rules as if it makes perfect sense, and the teams will often try to play it "seriously", such as "Name That Barcode".
* [[The Complainer Is Always Wrong]]: In one episode, Barry buzzed in to ask if an action wasn't in complete violation of the rules. Humph removed some of his marks for not knowing the rules, and Barry buzzed in again, stating that he knew the rules ''now'' and could he have his marks back please. Humph gave them back, but removed them again for interrupting.
* [[Corpsing]]: Frequently. Whenever Letter Writing is played, Tim and his guest will almost certainly end up having to pause because they're laughing so hard.
** Barry is also a terrible offender, and is particularly noticeable due to his loud, distinctive laugh.
** Humph's "tributes" to Lionel Blair while introducing ''Sound Charades'' often cause panelists to corpse -- Sandi Toksvig's helpless laughter in an early 2002 episode led to one full minute of uninterrupted audience laughter going out over the air. In 2001, another ''Sound Charades'' intro left Phill Jupitus plaintively asking for Humph and the others to wait while he composed himself.
* [[Country Matters]]: [[Stephen Fry]]'s alternate definition of "countryside" is the best-remembered, but there are plenty of other instances as part of the show's long history of [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]]...
{{quote| [''During a round in which the panellists must change a movie title by removing one letter'']<br />
'''Tim''': I was going to remove the "o" from ''[[The Count of Monte Cristo]]'', but ''[[Comically Missing the Point|The Count of Monte Crist]]'' [[Comically Missing the Point|doesn't make sense...]] }}
* [[Creepy Monotone]]/[[Dull Surprise]]: Humph sometimes used this for laughs, such as giving the teams praise in a wooden tone that suggested he was wearily reading out a prescripted line. Probably the best example is when he used Anne Robinson's catchphrase in a round parodying ''[[The Weakest Link]]'' but without any of the viciousness:
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Who's. Not pulling their weight. Who's. Dragging you down. It's time to vote off. The weakest link.}}
* [[Cure Your Gays]]: Referenced in one episode when [[StraightInvisible Gayto Gaydar|Sandi Toksvig]] was the guest panellist. Jack was reading out some quotes from love songs for ''Closed Quotes'' and said, in an incredibly monotone fashion, "Baby, I'm hot just like an oven. I need some lovin'." Sandi proceeded to burst into giggles, then commented "[[Sarcasm Mode|Blimey, Jack, you could have me on the turn, I can tell you...]]"
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: ''Humph.'' His entire persona was that of a bored old man who was baffled and annoyed by the entire show and everyone who was on it.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' In "Hunt The Slipper", I'll sit with my eyes closed while the slipper is passed around behind the teams' backs. After a few seconds of slipper-passing, I shall call out "slipper search on", and then I'll open my eyes. Obviously I shall have no idea where the slipper is, but the teams should keep passing the slipper around secretly, and I shall have to guess who's holding the slipper and challenge them by pointing and calling out "slipper holder". ''(beat)'' ...I'm seventy-eight, for Christ's sake.}}
* [[Delayed Reaction]]: In ''Word For Word'', Graeme will occassionally challenge for a connection on two words a long time after they've been spoken.
{{quote| '''Tim:''' Heckle.<br />
'''[[Ross Noble]]:''' Banjo.<br />
'''Tim:''' Butterfly.<br />
'''Ross:''' Creosote.<br />
''(buzz)''<br />
'''Barry:''' Creosote Butterfly...Sixties rock band.<br />
'''Jack:''' No, uh, I can't let you have that, Barry...I think you wouldn't be able to name one of their albums if I asked you.<br />
''(buzz)''<br />
'''Jack:''' Yes?<br />
'''Barry:''' ''Creosote Butterfly One''.<br />
'''Jack:''' Apart from the eponymous first album, obviously.<br />
''(buzz)''<br />
'''Jack:''' Yes, Graeme?<br />
'''Graeme:''' I think it is the duty of every good citizen to heckle a banjo. ...That was in there. }}
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: "The first round this week is called Round One."
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** Another variation is when someone tells a joke that doesn't get a laugh, wait for a joke that does, and then repeat the joke. If it doesn't get a laugh then, expect it to be turned into a [[Running Gag]].
* [[Dreadful Musician]]: What poor Colin Sell is accused of being, and what some of the panellists actually are when it comes to singing, notably the long-suffering Jeremy Hardy. In one game of "Pick-up Song" where he actually did a passable job (with "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"), everyone reacted with shock.
{{quote| '''Tim''': Where the hell did that come from? Your twin brother Jeremy couldn't sing at all!<br />
'''Jeremy''': I've just realized, [[Flowers for Algernon Syndrome|if I start singing in tune I'm finished. It'd be like the Elephant Man having a nose job.]] }}
** [[David Mitchell]]'s first attempt at "One Song to the Tune of Another" prompted the response of [[Up to Eleven|"I miss Jeremy."]]
* [[Early Installment Weirdness]]: The very first episode is introduced as being "a panel game" rather than an "antidote", and has Humph actually ''attempting to award points'' (after ''One Song to the Tune of Another'', he gives Tim and Bill points because their turn "didn't take as long").
* [[Even the Guys Want Him]]: After Rob Brydon sang "Delilah" in ''Pick-Up Song'' (prompting a very long, enthuastic ovation), this exchange occurred.
{{quote| '''Tim:''' We're going to have to throw all of these ''back'' now...<br />
'''Barry:''' Those Y-fronts were mine, Tim. }}
** In an 1990's episode where Barry had sung "It's Not Unusual" in the same round:
{{quote| '''Humph:''' If we could have these knickers cleared away...<br />
'''Willie:''' Could I have mine back?<br />
'''Tim:''' Gosh, here are some women's ones! }}
* [[Foreign Remake]]: Not the show itself, but one game involves coming up with foreign equivalents of British shows, such as ''[[Crimewatch UK|Crimewatch Ukraine]]''.
{{quote| '''Willie (about "One Man And His Dog"):''' The French could have ''One Man and his Frog''...the Norwegians could have ''One Man and his Log''...the Albanians could have ''One Man and King Zog!''}}
* [[Funny Background Event]]: Yes, on radio. Occassionally on ''Pick-Up Song'', the panellists who aren't singing will banter, joke, make comments or otherwise fool around in the background, aiming to get the singer to crack up.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' ''(singing Charles Aznavour's "She") She may be the song that summer sings,''<br />
''May be the chill that autumn brings,''<br />
''May be a hundred different things--''<br />
'''Tim:''' I love you, Barry.<br />
'''Barry:''' ''(laughing)'' ''Within the measure of a day...'' }}
** In another round of the same, Barry sung "Delilah". Tim can be heard saying "No--no, put them back on, madam," to someone in the audience.
* [[Fun Withwith Foreign Languages]]: Translated Phrases, which gives us such translations as [[Film Noir]] = "my photos haven't come out", and variations of the theme of adapting song/film/TV titles or proverbs for foreign audiences.
* [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]]: Radio 4 has a very liberal censorship policy, but ''ISIHAC'' takes great delight in trying to skirt what boundaries do exist.
** Anything involving Samantha is particularly bad for this, as seen below -- as one of hundreds of examples. Happily, its spirit lives on in ''[[Janet and John]]'' on the Radio 2 breakfast show.
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** On some occasions, there is no radar full stop. A late-90s episode broadcast the phrase "Holy shit!" completely uncensored, even on the Sunday lunchtime repeat.
* [[Homoerotic Subtext]]: Whenever it would get a laugh. For some reason, Barry and Graeme are especially prone to it.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' ''(in an elimination round)'' So it's just you and me now, is it?<br />
'''Graeme:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Barry:''' I give it three weeks. }}
** When Sven's standing in for Samantha as scorekeeper, the subtext is usually just plain text. ("Well, from the big hand sweeping around my little ticker...I see that Sven's up to his old tricks again.")
** From a round of ''Notes And Queries'':
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Okay, here's one--why do we kiss?<br />
'''Graeme:''' It was a moment of madness, Humph!<br />
'''Barry:''' We are what we are, Humph.<br />
'''Tim:''' There's no need to resign. }}
* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: Especially in the "New Definitions" round, which posits phonetically-based new definitions for words, such as "Fervent: Device required when tumble-drying cats", "Cruise Control: [[Church of Happyology|Scientology]]", and "Countryside: To murder Piers Morgan".
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** Highlights were later collected into a book, the Uxbridge English Dictionary, itself a pun on the Universities of [[Oxbridge]] and the distinctly un-elite town of Uxbridge.
* [[Hypocritical Humour]]: Often used in Humph's introductions.
{{quote| '''Humph''': [Place where show is being recorded] ...was said to have England's lowest light racy rat. (''beat'') Literacy rate!}}
** The typical introduction to ''Just A Minim'' is "The team will have to sing a song without repetition, oh...er...hesitation, deviation, anthrax or repetition."
* [[The Illegible]]: Humph would rag on the producer Jon Naismith for his terrible handwriting, at one point claiming he needed to pin it up on a board and run past it to have any chance to understand it.
* [[I Am Spartacus]]: Before one round of "Pick-Up Song", Humph replaced "What do points mean?" with this. Most of the audience just cheered, but a few shouted back "No, I'm Spartacus!"
* [[Incredibly Lame Pun]]: Many of the round introductions.
{{quote| '''Humph''': We're now going to play a radio version of the popular TV programme, ''[[Blind Date]]''. But we're going to play the Italian version - ''Venetian Blind Date''.}}
* [[Informed Attribute]]: Parodied with the "[[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?|LASER DISPLAY BOARD]]" (sometimes extra words suggesting technical brilliance are added into the description) which allegedly informs the studio audience of whatever the secret is, as the Mystery Voice does for the listeners at home. Of course, like Samantha it's entirely fictional, and there's an audience laugh when the secret turns out to be written on an ordinary cue card which the show producer runs across the stage with.
** One of the many features of the internet-linked liquid-crystal laser display board is to confuse the listeners at home who haven't been to a recording, and to make them wonder why the audience laugh when the title is displayed.
* [[Innocent Innuendo]]: Humph excelled at this, saying the secret was down to reading everything one word at a time so you don't actually know what you're reading. Often centres around Samantha.
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** Barry tended to react to these with either "dear oh dear..." or loud, raucous laughter, depending on how good he was at keeping a straight face at the moment.
* [[Insane Troll Logic]]: Ranges from surreal logic to out-of-nowhere assumptions to logic that makes sense in its own internal world. Many of the answers in ''Notes And Queries'' fall under this as well.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Graeme, why are cashew nuts never sold in their shells?<br />
'''Graeme:''' Ah, that's because cashews are actually monkey kidneys. And monkey kidneys don't come in shells, they come in monkeys. That would bulk out the packaging too much. }}
* [[I Resemble That Remark]]: Sometimes.
{{quote| '''Andy Hamilton:''' ''(while Barry and Graeme are having trouble guessing a Sound Charade)'' It's like a documentary on Alzheimer's...<br />
'''Barry:''' ...it's like a documentary on what? }}
** And another time:
{{quote| '''Tim:''' No, no, don't patronize him just because he's new.<br />
'''Graeme:''' Patronizing -- that means talking down to people. }}
* [[Jedi Mind Trick]]: Graeme will frequently ask "What's it called?" at the beginning of the other team's ''Sound Charade''. Unsurprisingly, it never works.
* [[Last-Second Word Swap]]: In the Limericks game, subverting the audience's expectation of the "obvious" rhymes. (It's not [[Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion]] because the substituted words do fulfill the rhyme as well... [[Rule of Funny|usually]].)
{{quote| While out on the Cam in a punt,<br />
I saw [[Spoonerism|Reverend Spooner]] in front<br />
He said, "What a day gay,"<br />
Line 329 ⟶ 327:
And, "Watch out for my podding sunt!" }}
** In some limericks, the competitors actually predict the rhyme about to come, with embarassed mumbles such as "Oh, that one..."
{{quote| There was a stout person from Brum,<br />
Who lost twenty pounds off her tum.<br />
When people said "Great!",<br />
She replied: "Just you wait,<br />
'Til you see what I've lost from my...thumb." }}
* [[Late to Thethe Punchline]]: From one round of ''Closed Quotes'':
{{quote| '''Humph:''' "The boy went down on the last few feet of rock..."<br />
'''Graeme:''' "...and began to thank [[wikipedia:Rock Hudson|Mr. Hudson]] profusely."<br />
''([[Dude, Not Funny|collective groan]] from audience, which eventually turns into hissing and jeering)''<br />
Line 341 ⟶ 339:
''(audience bursts into laughter)'' }}
* [[Law of Disproportionate Response]]: Humph put up with most of the show, whatever silliness was going on. However, he'd occassionally pause in the middle of a round of ''Closed Quotes'' or ''Notes And Queries'' to point out how stupid or boring the answers were.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' The answer [to the question "how can eggshells be used in the garden?"] is "put the eggshells in a barrel of water, remove them, and water your geran..." ...just throw the bloody things away.}}
** In ''Straight Face'' (a round in which each panellist says a word, and whoever elicits "even the slightest titter" from the studio audience is eliminated), Humph would usually ignore ''massive'' audience laughter, but yell "Titter!" at the ''very slightest'' giggle, or even total silence.
* [[Left It In]]: Jack once [[Corpsing|corpsed]] at one of the [[Double Entendre|Double Entendres]] in his introduction, then muttered "That'll be edited out or I'm finished". Naturally, it's left in.
* [[Literal -Minded]]: Hamish and Dougal.
{{quote| '''Dougal:''' I've been taking tea and honey with Mrs. Naughtie.<br />
'''Hamish:''' Does she produce the honey herself?<br />
'''Dougal:''' ...Well, no, that's...that's not nature's way. }}
* [[Lurid Tales of Doom]]: How ''The Sport'' is presented in ''Historical Headlines''.
Line 359 ⟶ 357:
** Humph once introduced an episode of ''Letter Writing'' with "There's nothing like badly-written English to really make my [[Hypocritical Humor|goat boil]]."
* [[Metaphorgotten]]: Humph's unnecessarily-complicated analogies to explain the concept of One Song To the Tune Of Another.
{{quote| "Anyone having trouble grasping this concept may care to consider a song to be like a tree. The leaves represent the words, which occasionally fall off to be replaced later by new leaves, or different words. Obviously, the discarded words don't form a slimy layer on top of your lawn like leaves do, that is why they should be swept up and placed in a heap to be burnt on bonfire night to the accompaniment of loud bangs as the hedgehogs explode. Now I come to think of it, there is no record of a few song lyrics ever causing an express train to sit outside Tunbridge Wells station for nine hours at a time, not that you would think leaves on the line would be such a problem these days, so few trains actually seem to stay on them. I can guess what you are thinking -- what kind of species of tree is this? Is it an Elder? Is is an Ash? You could try asking a so called expert, but in all likelihood he [[Getting Crap Past the Radar|wouldn't know his Ash from his Elder]]. At the piano, Colin Sell."}}
* [[Medium Awareness]]: Routinely subverted. Since the show is non-fictional, everyone has medium awareness, but the trope is relevant because of the show's tendency to use ''visual imagery'' on the radio. For example, in the (now rarely played) round ''Call My Bluff'', all of the panellists give their own definition of a word, then reveal which one was true. We hear the rustles of paper as the answers are shown (and possibly some interested mumbling), and that's it.
** In an early episode, the audience were treated to the teams playing a round of Hide and Seek on stage. This was topped in a later episode by the teams playing another round of Hide and Seek, where the studio audience ''hid from the teams!''
** This sort of thing used to happen all the time, in fact -- there would be rounds were panellists tried to eat an apple without using their hands (with scattered comments throughout), for instance. Not to mention the jigsaw puzzles and board games.
* [[More Popular Spinoff]]: ''[[I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (Radio)|I'm Sorry Ill Read That Again]]'' ran for eight years. ''[[I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (Radio)|I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue]]'' started in 1972 [[Long Runners|and is still going]].
* [[Musical Gag]]: Colin will occassionally play a quick jingle or [[Sting (music)|Sting]] after a joke, and whenever the singing rounds get ''really'' off-track, he tends to change the melody around or segue into another song altogether, before continuing as normal.
{{quote| '''Jack Dee:''' ''(in Just A Minim) Don't even contemplate a short fling...or even an affair...because I'm quite nasty when I get cross...I have problems with rejection...''<br />
''(Colin plays the first five notes of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v{{=}}8Tfy6MZtGTE The Sailor's Hornpipe])'' }}
* [[My Name Is Not Durwood]]: In an episode when Tony Hawks was the guest, Humph pointed out an oddity in the buzzers.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' I'll tell you who we haven't had a challenge from...Bill. They've stuck your names on the buzzers here, and it says "Barry", "Graeme", "Tim" and "Bill".<br />
'''Tony:''' ''(sullen)'' Are you trying to tell me I was a late booking?<br />
'''Tim:''' I hope that's not [[Bill Bailey]] from the last series...that'd be ''really'' sad. }}
 
== N-Z ==
* [[No Budget]]: Mentioned in a round of ''Word For Word''. Paul Merton buzzed Barry and Graeme, and Humph initially overruled his challenge, saying that they only had one buzzer and that was with Tim and Paul. He then says "...oh, thank you, Paul" as footsteps are heard, and then Graeme says "For those of you listening in stereo -- it's over here now!" Later, when Barry challenges Tim and Paul, Paul says "we'd better have the buzzer back then, hadn't we?" and footsteps are heard again.
{{quote| '''Paul:''' [[Lampshade Hanging|You may be sitting at home, wondering where your license money goes...]]}}
* [[No Fair Cheating]]: In a round of ''Bedtime Stories'' (one panellist tells a story, and their team member has to try and play appropriate sound effects, while wearing headphones making them unable to hear the story), Graeme tried to sidestep the rules by making his own sound effects. Tim loudly accused him of being a cheat throughout the rest of the round.
* [[Obfuscating Stupidity]]: Part of Humph's ability to get away with scathing [[Take That|Take Thats]] and filthy innuendos was his [[Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!|befuddled persona]], which managed to simultaneously make the jokes less offensive ''and more funny''.
** When rounds of ''Sound Charades'' get ''really'' obvious, the guessing team will usually beat around the bush with lots of humming and stalling.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' You're toying with us, [[Double Entendre|but the listeners can't see that.]]}}
* [[Off the Rails]]: Where any game of Mornington Crescent is likely to go ([[A Worldwide Punomenon|even though, technically, they never leave the rails]]).
{{quote| '''Humph:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|Don't you just love being in control.]]}}
** The round of "Word for Word" that ended in Tim giving words by himself.
* [[Overly Narrow Superlative]]: Humph will often introduce a letter from Mrs. Trellis by saying they've received "slightly less than two letters" or "slightly more than one letter".
** "This was by far the most entertaining letter we received out of several hundred others...from Mrs. Trellis."
* [[Plato Is a Moron]]: "Eton's most famous former pupils include The Duke Of Wellington, William Gladstone, George Orwell, and Humphrey Lyttelton, the jazz musician and panel game host. It doesn't say what those other three are famous for."
Line 391 ⟶ 389:
* [[Rashomon Style]]: In a series of interviews with the different cast members, one of the questions was "How was Samantha discovered?". Everyone has a separate story. (Humph claims she was working behind the bar at [[The BBC]] canteen -- once-producer Paul Mayhew-Archer implies he discovered her in a strip club -- Jeremy says she was working as a waiter and Graeme made her have extensive plastic surgery.)
* [[Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud]]: Humph would occasionally do it, and similarly he would say things like "That was a good round" in a wooden tone suggesting it was written into the script and his own opinion was quite different (sometimes specifically saying "or that's what it says here, anyway") or changing the emphasis of the phrase.
{{quote| '''Humph''': That went awfully well, let's try another....Hold on, I think I misread that -- That went awfully. Well, let's try another.}}
* [[Remember the New Guy?]]: "We're now going to play [[Blatant Lies|that old favorite,]] ''Spot The Ostrich!''"
** The first ever game of Mornington Crescent was introduced in the same way.
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: As with [[Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud]] above, Humph would sometimes do this with the script.
{{quote| '''Humph''': We're joined this week by the four most notable comic talents in the country. I'm sorry -- that should of course read the four most ''not able'' comic talents in the country.}}
* [[Rule of Three]]: More or less every round of ''Letter Writing'' will have this exchange.
{{quote| '''Barry:''' Adjective.<br />
'''Graeme:''' And.<br />
'''Barry:''' Adjective.<br />
'''Graeme:''' And.<br />
'''Barry:''' Adjective.<br />
'''Graeme:''' [[Subverted Trope|Yet...]] }}
* [[Running Gag]]: "Mornington Crescent" segments always start with Humph reading out the one letter they've had sent in this week, which is always from a Mrs. Trellis of North Wales, and is addressed to some other radio presenter.
** "One Song To The Tune Of Another" is introduced by Humph explaining the [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin|simple concept]] by means of an impossibly obtuse and roundabout metaphor, always finishing with a crack at pianist Colin Sell.
** Similarly, the show begins with Humph talking about the city in which it's being recorded this week (with jokes about its reputation and history) before segueing into an insult directed at the contestants.
{{quote| "Salisbury Plain is of course known for Stonehenge, but these days who really wants to spend half an hour staring at some ancient ruins whose true purpose is a mystery? (''[[Beat]]'') Let's meet the teams."}}
** Humph would also close the show with a saying usually involving Fate, Destiny, Time and Eternity, but sometimes also Hope, Despair and Doom.
{{quote| "And so, ladies and gentlemen, as the short-sighted terrier of Time chases the startled stick insect of Hope, and the supple dachshund of Fate is knotted by the absent-minded balloon magician of Eternity..."}}
** Members of Humph's posh family were often mentioned on the show as well.
{{quote| "[Guy Fawkes's] co-conspirators included one Humphrey Lyttelton, who was dragged in chains to Guildford and publicly executed. Imagine the shame brought upon my family. Apparently they were okay about 'publicly executed', but Guildford!" }}
** The introduction to "Sound Charades" involves Humph comparing it to ''Give Us A Clue'' (the TV version of Charades) and making some homosexual [[Innocent Innuendo]] about that show's regular Lionel Blair.
{{quote| "On one occasion he had tears in his eyes as the rules prevented him from using his mouth to finish off ''[[Two Gentlemen of Verona (Theatre)|Two Gentlemen of Verona]]''."<br />
"Opposing team captain Una Stubbs watched open-mouthed as he pulled off ''[[Twelve12 Angry Men]]'' in under thirty seconds." }}
** Later seasons' "Sound Charades" also invariably feature Barry and Graeme's "Hamish and Dougal" characters, who begin every sketch with "Ah, Hamish!" "Ah, Dougal!" "You'll have had your tea?"
*** Played with in one episode where Andy Hamilton was standing in for Graeme.
{{quote| '''Barry''' (''Dougal voice''): Hello! You'll have had your tea?<br />
'''Andy''' (''in his own voice''): What? }}
** In the Film Club round, Graeme will <s> often</s> always do some variation of ''[[Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia]]''.
Line 423 ⟶ 421:
** When a round went on for a bit, Humph would pointedly mention that he had a gig in Hull the following week.
*** Also to punctuate that a round had gone on too long, Barry sometimes mentioned that he had black hair when they started.
** In "Word For Word" (the "word disassociation game" where they have to say a word completely unrelated to the last one), Barry would sometimes challenge by claiming that two words put together were [[A Good Name for Aa Rock Band|the name of a sixties rock band]].
*** In the same game, if a challenge is awarded to Barry and Graeme, Graeme will sometimes begin by saying an affirmative word such as "Okay", or "Right", and, after a [[Beat]], add "That was my word."
** In Cheddar Gorge, saying "comma" to buy time, or creating the phrase "...and yet strangely..." to force someone to describe something twice [[Overly Long Gag|(or more)]].
Line 436 ⟶ 434:
** In ''Uxbridge English Dictionary'', Barry will occassionally say a word ending in '-ish' or '-y', and define it as 'rather like [word]'. (Such as "Vanish: Rather like a van.")
** Sometimes there are running gags that only last the length of that episode, such as in this round of ''Uxbridge English Dictionary'':
{{quote| '''Graeme''' [''speaking with a "pirate voice"'']: Radar - an attack by pirates.<br />
'''Graeme''': Doodah - a cool pirate.<br />
'''Graeme''': Bazaar - Barry the pirate. }}
* [[Russian Roulette]]: Played in one episode.
* [[Sarcasm Blind]]: The chairman will occassionally vary the "points mean prizes" catchphrase (such as "and points mean failures at Crewe"), while still expecting the audience to yell out "Prizes!" when prompted. Occassionally, however, one or two [[Sarcasm Blind]] members of the audience will yell out the variation.
* [[Sarcasm Mode]]: Everything the chairman says which isn't directly insulting, stealthily insulting, or leading up to a joke will be delivered like this.
* [[Scare'Em Straight]]: In one round of ''Closed Quotes'', the quotes were taken from PSAs. A few of them were so [[Narm|hilariously horrifying]] that the panellists burst out laughing when the real answers were shown.
** In a round of ''Notes And Queries'', the questions were all taken from children.
{{quote| '''Child:''' What would happen if I didn't tidy my toys?<br />
'''Graeme:''' Well, the tidy-goblin would come and chop you into little bits and then file all the bits alphabetically. Now, go to sleep. }}
* [[Self-Deprecation]]: A limerick.
{{quote| The teams are renowned for their wit,<br />
They're convinced that the show is a hit.<br />
They say: "Week after week<br />
We hit a new peak!"<br />
But the audience know that it's...[[Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion|rubbish]]. }}
** Much of the chairman's material plays on this.
{{quote| "I'm often prone to bouts of misplaced optimism. This round's going to be a humdinger!"}}
* [[Serious Business]]: The pretense is that the rounds aren't just sensible games, but ''important'', especially Mornington Crescent.
{{quote| '''Humph''': If there's one thing I can't stand, it's ''frivolous'' Mornington Crescent. It wrecks the whole thing.}}
* [[Shaped Like Itself]]: From a round of Complete Quotes that used proverbs and sayings:
{{quote| '''Humph:''' "If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing..."<br />
'''Graeme:''' "...isn't it?" }}
* [[Shout-Out]]: In spades, especially the ''Songbook'', ''Film Club'' or ''Book Club'' rounds, which revolve around making puns about popular films (or songs, or books). Then there are rounds like ''No Budget'', which are about modifying book, film, or TV titles to reflect their, well, lack of budget.
{{quote| '''Graeme:''' ''[[Night of the Living Dead|Night Of The Dead Dead]]''.<br />
'''Tim:''' ''[[Guys and Dolls|Guy And Doll]]''.<br />
'''Barry:''' ''[[Titanic|Titanic 2]]''.<br />
'''Jeremy:''' ''[[Little House On the Prairie]].'' }}
** Sometimes the panellists will play their own versions of existing games, such as their version of ''[[Countdown]]'':
{{quote| '''Humph''': The letters are going up on the board now. G... G... G... G... Z... V... Q... Y... and... oh dear, G again.<br />
'''Willie''': I suppose it's too late to ask for a vowel...? }}
* [[Small Name, Big Ego]]: Humph wasn't exactly a small name, but his opinion that the role of chairman made him the most important person in the world was part of his persona. Woe betide the one who discussed the rules of ''Mornington Crescent'' and came to a conclusion -- he'd always burst in with a statement of "''You'' haven't decided anything, it's not up to you to decide anything, I'm the chairman".
Line 471 ⟶ 469:
* [[Show the Folks At Home]]: In any round such as Sound Charades or Scandals, the "mystery voice" reads out what the other team has to guess.
* [[Signature Sound Effect]]: Humph had a car horn which made a distinctive honking noise, used for ''Cheddar Gorge'' or to signal the end of a round. Since Jack took over, a gong has been used for the same purposes.
* [[Smurfette Principle]]: When Sandi Toksvig first appeared in the 1990s, she remarked how proud she was to be 'in the long line of women who have appeared on the show' (she was the third, and the show had been running for about twenty years at that point.) This provoked considerable laughter from the audience, and a sort of 'oooh' noise from Tim Brooke-Taylor.
** Barry Cryer proceeded to make the apologetic comment "Well, they were all in the factories when we started!"
* [[Sophisticated As Hell]]: From a round of ''Closed Quotes'', using insults:
{{quote| '''Jack:''' Graeme, one here from Oscar Wilde. Some cause happiness wherever they go, others...<br />
'''Graeme:''' ...are complete bastards. }}
* [[Spin-Off]]: ''You'll Have Had Your Tea? The Doings of Hamish And Dougal'', a surreal sitcom about two elderly Scottish gentlemen Cryer and Garden invented for the "Sound Charades" skits.
** A one-off [[Mockumentary]] ''In Search of Mornington Crescent'', in which top BBC journalist Andrew Marr completely fails to find out what the rules of Mornington Crescent actually are.
* [[Spiritual Successor]]: To ''[[I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (Radio)|I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again]]'', and in some ways to ''[[The Goodies (TV)|The Goodies]]''.
* [[Stealth Insult]]: The final sentence of the introduction to the town they're in will invariably double up as an insult to the contestants.
* [[Stock Sound Effects]]: In the DIY round (where the panellists are forced to improvise a story around sound effects) and in Cow/Lake/Bomb (the ''ISIHAC'' version of Rock/Paper/Scissors). If the players are [[Tempting Fate|given access to sound effects]], they can often be expected to keep popping up later in the show, such as the sound of a punch in retaliation for an insult. Very often any attempt at playing the game will be abandoned in favour of playing as many random sound effects as quickly as possible.
Line 486 ⟶ 484:
* [[Take That]]: Humph gets to deliver a lot of them, mostly against the team members and [http://www.isihac.co.uk/games/ostttoae/index.html Colin Sell], occasionally against other broadcasters.
** And sometimes the panellists:
{{quote| [''In the Mystery Illness round, Barry's complaint is that he is turning into Ricky Gervais'']<br />
'''Graeme''': He was alright until he left ''[[The Office]]'', then something weird happened... }}
* [[Take That, Audience!]]: Aimed at the [[Studio Audience]] more often than the listeners at home, since they're the ones responding enthusiastically to this show which the host apparently hates.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' ...and what do points mean?<br />
'''Audience:''' PRIZES!<br />
'''Humph:''' [[Powder Keg Crowd|Now go and]] [[Adolf Hitler|invade Czechoslovakia.]] }}
** Sometimes even simpler.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Points mean prizes, what do points mean?<br />
'''Audience:''' PRIZES!<br />
'''Humph:''' ''(hissing) Shut up.'' }}
* [[Tempting Fate]]: Humph once introduced a round of Mornington Crescent by saying "I hope we won't have any of the pointless bickering that has plagued this round in the past", and said that Tim could start. Graeme immediately snapped "Why does ''he'' get to start?"
* [[The Show Must Go On]]: Mildly -- there've been a few episodes in which the buzzers have malfunctioned or been mislabelled.
{{quote| '''Humph''': Challenge from somebody, but the light hasn't come on!<br />
[''After some deliberation'']<br />
'''Humph''': Oh, hold on, I'll tell you what's happened, it's quite interesting. They've stuck your names on here with sticking-plaster, and Barry and Graeme's names have been stuck ''over'' the little light that comes on... }}
** Or, in some cases, Humph just got confused about who was challenging:
{{quote| ''(buzz)''<br />
'''Humph:''' Tim? ...Barry? Graeme?<br />
'''Tim:''' Anybody in the audience? }}
** In another episode, Graeme had [[wikipedia:Bellchr(27)Bell's Palsy|Bell's Palsy]] while recording. He didn't bring it up until it was his turn in ''One Song To The Tune Of Another''.
{{quote| '''Graeme:''' That reminds me, I've got 'pink' and 'blue' in this song, and you won't have noticed this, but I have a touch of what is called Bell's Palsy at the moment...which means half my face has frozen. So I have trouble saying 'p' as in 'pink', and 'b' as in 'blue'...and it's rather ''cruel'' of them to call it 'Bell's Palsy'!}}
* [[Thing-O-Meter]]: One episode features one.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' According to our clap-o-meter, Tim won that one.<br />
'''Barry:''' [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/the+clap?s{{=}}t Report to the clinic immediately.] }}
* [[This Trope Is Bleep]]: The "Censored Songs" round, in which they sing karaoke with strategically-placed censor bleeps to make the song sound a lot ruder than it originally was. This game arguably never bettered the episode in which we heard...
{{quote| * bleep* * bleep* and * bleep* * bleep* and<br />
* bleep* * bleep* and * bleep* * bleep* <br />
''* bleep* * bleep* and * bleep* * bleep* and<br />
* bleep* * bleep* and * bleep* * bleep* <br />
* bleep* * bleep* and * bleep* * bleep* all tied up with string,<br />
These are a few of my favourite things... }}
** Another brilliant one "Whenever I feel a[buzz] / I hold my [buzz] erect / And whistle a happy tune / so no one will suspect I'm a[buzz]... Whenever I [buzz] / The people I [buzz] / I [buzz] myself as well..."
** This concept originated with ''[[I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (Radio)|I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again]]''.
** In one round of ''Closed Quotes'', the quotes came from an interview with [[Ozzy Osbourne]]. Humph censored the more explicit words by honking his horn.
{{quote| As for Simon Cowell, I think he's a ''(honk)''ing ''(honk)''hole.}}
** In a round of ''Sound Charades'', Tim and Jeremy illustrated ''[[The Sopranos]]'' by putting on high-pitched soprano voices and talking like typical gangsters, excessive swearing and all. The swearing was all bleeped out in the broadcast version, which Barry predicted -- afterward, he quipped "You'll bleep with the fishes!"
* [[Thrifty Scot]]: Hamish and Dougal. Many listeners don't realise that their starting [[Catch Phrase]] "You'll have had your tea?" is a stereotypical Scots phrase with the subtext that "...because I'm certainly not spending money to feed you if you say no".
* [[The Trope Formerly Known Asas X]]: "The artist formerly known as Prince" was the subject for a round of "Limerick" which, in five lines, managed to work in just about everything that was ludicrous about the situation.
** And here it is:
{{quote| The Artist Formerly Known As Prince;<br />
On stage he would waddle, and mince.<br />
Then just for a giggle,<br />
Changed his name to a squiggle,<br />
And nobody's heard from him since. }}
* [[Throw It In]]: Humph would occassionally misread something, and the improvisation by the panellists in response to this would usually be thrown in.
** In another episode, Jack misread "Tobacconist's Film Club" as "Tobogganist's Film Club", before Graeme pointed out his mistake. The round turned into a mix of smoking puns and winter sports puns.
** The sound once dropped significantly in the middle of a joke. Jack asked "Did the sound just drop then, on that?", and got answers of "Yes" from the panel and some of the audience.
{{quote| '''Jack:''' Oh good. I like to make sure, because otherwise [[Black Comedy|Barry thinks he's having a stroke.]]<br />
'''Barry:''' I wish... }}
* [[Tomato Surprise]]: A few games rely on the fact that there's no visual aspect for the joke. During a round of "Who Am I?", where the panellists had post-it notes with the name of a celebrity written on them attached to their heads and had to ask questions to find out who they were, all four of them managed to correctly guess the celebrity almost instantly. At the end of the round?
{{quote| '''Jack''': I think next time we might try the other version, with the names written on the outside.}}
* [[Unexpectedly Obscure Answer]]: It was a [[Running Gag]] in the "Politician's Ball" episode, where they played a game of 'Strip Quiz', which built on the 'old-fashioned principles of strip poker', that Tim got all the impossible questions, whereas everyone else got very elementary ones.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Now, pay attention here, because I'm going to go quite fast, and these are quite tricky questions. Barry, you first -- what is the capital of England?<br />
'''Barry:''' London!<br />
'''Humph:''' Willie -- what is one and one?<br />
'''Willie:''' Two...?<br />
'''Humph:''' Graeme -- what is the name of the Queen of England?<br />
'''Graeme:''' Elizabeth.<br />
'''Humph:''' Tim -- what is the pharmacopean name for turpentine?<br />
'''Tim:''' ...Nigel?<br />
'''Humph:''' No, I'm sorry -- the word is 'terebinthina'. Tim loses his shirt on that one. }}
* [[Vitriolic Best Buds]]: Neither the chairman nor any of the panellists have any qualms about making insulting jokes about one another. Despite this, the close friendship of everyone on the show is obvious.
Line 551 ⟶ 549:
* [[The Voiceless]]: Samantha, and her occasional replacements Monica and Sven.
** Who are all entirely fictional, existing only as [[Double Entendre]] fodder:
{{quote| "As is customary, Samantha spent some time down in the gramophone library earlier, fetching the hit singles she's chosen. She's become quite friendly with the two elderly archivists, Jack and Arthur. They've recently gone part-time, so Samantha's come to a working arrangement -- she does the paperwork, Arthur gets her 45s out and Jack's off all afternoon."}}
** Colin Sell is also voiceless insofar as he has no microphone and can't return any of the endless shots taken at him. (Occasionally he says something loud enough to be heard in the background or communicates via the piano, like falling on the keyboard in response to being "killed".)
*** In ''Christmas Clue'' he played the part of Cratchit but, as the character is too poor to buy a microphone, he's still only barely audible.
*** He got a couple of properly audible lines in the Hogmanay Special of spin-off show ''Hamish & Dougal'' when he played himself (with Humph as the Laird's butler, Lyttleton)
{{quote| Colin: I'm Colin Sell, you ordered a pianist?<br />
Humph: Yes. Where is he? }}
* [[Welcome to My World]]: In the opening of "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKCMFGZxik8&feature=related Murder by Moonlight]":
{{quote| '''Humph:''' One very popular recent series was ''[[Life On Mars]]'', where the lead character slipped into a coma and woke up to find himself in 1973. [[Beat|Hmm.]] [[Welcome to My World]].}}
* [[Well, This Is Not That Trope]]: Often.
{{quote| '''Humph:''' Since our special guest today is Phill Jupitus, we all agreed it would be a waste not to make a round to fit his unique talents. ...Still, there you are, that's life.}}
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?]]: In one episode, a variant on the "Mystery Illness" game was played called "Scandals". The scandal Tim and Jeremy had to guess they'd been involved in was accepting honours for cash. Barry and Graeme... {{spoiler|had accepted a booking on ''Quote, Unquote''.}}
{{quote| '''Jeremy''': That's ''harsh''!}}
* [[Word Salad Title]]: "Cheddar Gorge", the game where the panellists take turns saying one word at a time to keep the sentence going on as long as possible. The introduction often claims that the title is self-explanatory. By contrast, "One Song to the Tune of Another", which is [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin|as self-explanatory as you could ask for]], is treated as a [[Word Salad Title]] and introduced with an overly-elaborate analogy to make things "clearer".
* [[Yes-Man]]: Panellists would occassionallyoccasionally play this for laughs, sucking up to Humph in the most obvious fashion. Once subverted, when Barry mentioned what a marvellous chairman he was and what a great job he was doing. Humph awarded him and Graeme ten points for prefacing with that, and awarded Tim and Willie fifteen points for ''not'' starting with that.
 
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[[Category:Radio]]
[[Category:Im Sorry I Havent A Clue{{PAGENAME}}]]
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[[Category:Radio of the 1970s]]
[[Category:Radio of the 1980s]]
[[Category:Radio of the 1990s]]
[[Category:Radio of the 2000s]]
[[Category:Radio of the 2010s]]