If I Wanted You Dead...: Difference between revisions

{{examples}}

== Played Straight ==

* ''[[Mahou Sensei Negima]]'' has Negi doing something along these lines to the demon that [[Taken for Granite|petrified]] [[Doomed Hometown|his hometown]]. Negi knows a spell for killing demons, but decides not to use it. Of course, said demon [[Noble Demon|wasn't entirely evil anyway]].

** The general theme of "I won...? Wait, that means you must have ''let'' me win!" is used continually throughout the series; this is at least the second time it's applied to a supposed life-or-death struggle.

* In ''[[Parasyte]]'' Ch. 6, a parasyte reassures Shinji (who is naturally freaking out) that an invitation to meet for coffee is benign by citing this trope.

 

* In ''[[Atomic Robo]]'', Egypt's armed forces tell this to Robo and his Action Science Team after shooting at him because he blew up a pyramid. [[It Makes Sense in Context]], mostly.

 

* ''[[The Godfather]]'' has Virgil Solozzo telling Tom to: "Come on get in the car. What are you worried about? If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already."

* In ''[[Dirty Harry]]'', Harry shoots Scorpio in the leg.

'''Harry Callahan''': ''If I tried that your head would be splattered all over this field.'' }}

* A nice subversion in the 2008 ''[[Get Smart (film)|Get Smart]]'' movie:

'''[[Mook|Shtarker]]''': That actually makes sense. }}

** Bonus points for also subverting the inversion.

* The ''[[Jumanji]]'' film gives us, "Stop your cringing, woman; I could have shot you at any moment."

* Used to a point on ''[[The Princess Bride (film)|The Princess Bride]]'', where Fezzik misses the Man in Black's head with his rock on purpose, so they can fight it out sportsman-like.

* ''[[The Shadow (film)|The Shadow]]'' (1994):

{{quote|'''SHIWAN:''' Kill you? * chuckles* If I wanted you dead, Ying Ko [referring to Lamont], I would have your liver on a pole right now.}}

* Marcus makes this point to try to convince John Connor that he isn't hostile in ''[[Terminator]] Salvation''.

* Not actually stated, but the spirit is certainly there in [[Predators]]. After the Russian has nearly mowed him down with his [[BFG]], Royce flanks him, and puts his gun to the Russian's head.

 

{{quote|''Look, sergeant. I had the stone drop on you just then, and yet no one's dead so far. Is that the act of a heretic or a deserter?''}}

* ''Flood'' by [[Andrew Vachss]]. It's stated that martial arts [[Badass]] Max [[The Speechless|the Silent]] is so notorious no-one even laughed when a judge told him he had the right to remain silent during an attempted murder trial. After all, everyone knew Max never ''attempted'' to murder someone.

{{quote|"If I wanted you dead captain, I'd have put a bullet in your head. There is an $18.6 million dollar bounty on your head. Rest assured I am being paid considerably more than that to keep you alive."}}

* In the book version of ''[[The Hunt for Red October]]'', the Soviet fleet goes on "blockade" duty off the U.S. Atlantic coast for the rogue missile sub, making the Americans distinctly nervous. Being the height of the [[Cold War]], the U.S. decides to make a few demonstrations to the Sovs of what would happen if the Red Banner Fleet were ever to move aggressively. The most spectacular of them involved four A-10s racing under the radar horizon of the fleet and boxing the battlecruiser ''Kirov'' with flares. The exact message that the pilots wanted to send was, word for word, "If we had been serious, you'd be dead by now".

* A variant not involving death occurs in [[David Drake]]'s ''Northworld'' trilogy. Main character Hansen comes to visit [[Gadgeteer Genius]] Ritter, who's working on a project for him. Ritter isn't getting very far on the project, and he snappishly says something about Hansen checking up on him. Hansen, who's been given [[Physical God|godlike powers]], thinks, ''If I wanted to check on you--'' and demonstrates that his powers would let him spy on Ritter completely undetected.

* Another variant appears in [[Isaac Asimov]]'s novelization of ''[[Fantastic Voyage]]''. The mission experiences several misadventures, each of which could have been accident or sabotage. All but one of the specialists are eliminated as suspects because something went wrong in their respective areas of expertise that they could have sabotaged far more subtly and effectively.

'''Murphy''': Relax. [sigh] If that was what I had in mind, you'd be in the car already. }}

* ''[[A Series of Unfortunate Events|The Reptile Room]]'':

{{quote|'''Stephano/{{spoiler|Olaf}}''': If I wanted to harm you, orphan, [[Nightmare Fuel|your blood would already be pouring down these stairs like a waterfall.]]}}

* David Isaak's ''Shock and Awe'':

{{quote|'''Rex Atwater''': My point is that Western civilization is cutting its own throat. Our enemies hit us as hard as they can, but we're supposed to strike back in a limited, perfectly accurate, fair way... and always apologize. Do you remember during the invasion of Iraq, when all of the Arab press was crying out ''they're deliberately targeting civilians''? And the White House responds with patient denials, instead of saying, ''Christ, if we were deliberately targeting civilians, [[Kill'Em All|do you think there'd be anybody left to bitch?]]''}}

* In ''[[Daemon|Freedom]]'' Loki/Gragg tells Dr. Philips this.

* From the ''[[Honor Harrington]]'' novel ''Echoes of Honor'':

{{quote|'''Cole:''' "If Pike were going to kill him, you'd never find the body. He'd dispose of Dirsch and leave you wondering what happened. Pike is the most dangerous man I know and I've known more than a few."}}

* In the Roy Johansen novel ''Beyond Belief'', Joe Bailey confronts murderer {{spoiler|Stuart Dunning}} and accuses him of the murder of Robert Nelson, which he committed in a manner that made it appear telekinetic in nature. {{spoiler|Dunning}} declares "If I had telekninetic powers, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Subverted in that he does indeed want to kill Bailey, but is using this to deny the original murder.

* Used second-hand in ''[[The Truth]]''. To make a long story short, an altercation ends up with Vetinari's assistant, Drumknot, receiving several knife wounds, which certain parties pin on Vetinari. William DeWorde smells a rat, not because he doesn't believe that Vetinari would stab someone, but because DeWorde doesn't believe that Vetinari would stab someone without killing them.

 

* ''[[Star Trek: The Next Generation]]'': In "The Vengeance Factor", a much smaller and technologically inferior ship repeatedly and ineffectually attacks the ''Enterprise''. Picard finally orders a limited attack to take down their shields and convince them to start talking. The other captain's first signal is an accusation that the ''Enterprise'' is there to destroy them; Picard makes the obvious rebuttal.

** Similarly, in ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Deep Space Nine]]'', Garak is told to be more serious when he lists Kira as a suspect in blowing up his shop.

** Obligatory ''[[Angel]]'' example: In one episode, this is how Angel convinces Wesley that he's not Angelus.

* The first season of ''[[Andromeda]]'' features a variant: Hunt is trying to recruit a politician, and he's later found dead while locked in a room with Tyr—the weapon is found to be keyed to Tyr's DNA. He claims that he couldn't have killed the politician, because if he had, he knows enough ways to do it that no one would be able to tell.

{{quote|If I was going to kill you we wouldn't be having this conversation. }}

* In ''[[The Mentalist]]'' episode "Redline", a very rich guy, when asked if he killed the victim of the week, makes the point that with his resources, if he'd been responsible for her death, they wouldn't have found the body; she'd have just disappeared.

* Said almost word for word by Kurt in [[The River]]. Played with in that Kurt is not really a villian and even {{spoiler|helps save Lincoln in the end.}}

 

 

{{quote|Garrett: "I suppose if you were Gamall, you would have tried to kill me just now."

Artemis: "[[Badass Boast|No, I would have succeeded.]]" }}

* ''[[Deus Ex]]'':

{{quote|'''JC Denton''': If I'm gonna kill you, [[You Are Already Dead|you're already dead.]]}}

 

* Humorous invocation in [https://web.archive.org/web/20101216053515/http://crispygamer.com/comics/backward/backward-2009-04-08.aspx this] ''Backward Compatible'' webcomic, as two reviewers try for the same assignment.

* ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]'' had a more benevolent variation in [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-11-24 this] strip. Later, a [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-11-16 reversal]. And [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-10-03 in a rather foggy friend-or-foe situation] (which doesn't quite work as intended).

 

* ''[[Teen Titans (animation)|Teen Titans]]'': After Bumblebee, at Brother Blood's orders, battles Cyborg, she tries to convince Cyborg she's [[The Mole]]: "If I was fighting for real, you'd be spare parts by now."

{{quote|'''Medusa:''' If I wanted you stone, you'd be stone, all right?}}

* ''[[Batman Beyond]]'': An assassin assures Batman a stray shot to get his attention was just that, for this reason.

* ''[[Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog]]'': Tails is kidnapped in one episode where Robotnik had nothing to do with it. Robotnik said that, if he had kidnapped Tails, he'd be torturing him.

 

* [[Charles Manson]]. "Believe me, if I started murdering people, there'd be none of you left."

* Porter Rockwell, the Mormon gunfighter dubbed "the Prophet's bodyguard" was accused of shooting at Lilburn Boggs, governor of Missouri who issued the famous "Extermination Order". His response? "I never shot ''at'' anything in my life. I either shot it or I didn't shoot."

Man: Like this. *takes out a gun and puts it to his head and pulls the trigger* }}

** The gun wasn't loaded, but it sent a clear message that they could have killed him at anytime and weren't hesitating to kill.

 

== Inversions ==

 

 

* Captain Von Trapp says something similar to Rolfe in ''[[The Sound of Music]]'' when Rolfe threatens to shoot him, but in this case he's doing it to convince Rolfe that Rolfe doesn't have it in him to kill someone and should just hand over the gun.

* Anthony Perkins uses this line of reasoning in ''[[The Black Hole]]''. It actually holds true... for a while.

* Said of the "Snake King" in ''Courageous''. "If he wanted you dead, he'd have killed you by now."

 

* Dumbledore in ''[[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (novel)|Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince]]'': "If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first Disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."

** Dumbledore accuses Malfoy of being half-hearted in his assassination attempts.

** In ''Deathly Hallows'', when Harry and Hermione are at the graveyard in Godric's Hollow, they hear something rustling in the bushes, but after a moment of waiting and listening Harry points out that if it was a Death Eater they'd be dead by now.

* In ''[[Animorphs]]'', Marco is first to point out that he believes that {{spoiler|Visser One}} isn't setting a trap because, if she wanted to capture him, it'd be far simpler to do so directly than setting a trap.

** When the team investigates Yeerks tampering with food, one of them suggests that they want to poison people. Ax disagrees, since if the Yeerks wanted to kill a lot of humans, they would use Dracon beams to set the atmosphere on fire.

* Rose in ''[[Slave Trade]]'' by Susan Wright: "I guess that means no one's awake or they would have killed us already."

 

* ''[[Angel]]'' episode "Peace Out":

{{quote|'''Wesley''': If you really believed that, you'd have killed us already.}}

* Season four of ''[[Supernatural]]'': Shortly after Dean is pulled out of Hell, a demon threatens to send him back. Dean coolly replies, "No, you won't. Because if you could, you'd have done it already."

 

{{quote|'''Gericault''': Let me up.

'''Mercedes''': I'm going to kill you.

'''Gericault''': You are a practical woman, Mercy, and [[You Watch Too Much X|this is not a dime novel.]] If you were going to kill me, you would have done so five seconds ago. Let me up. }}

 

* ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20071221083737/http://www.spinachchin.com/short/aleppo/virus_2.html The Highway Virus Series: DNA Oil]''

{{quote|''"They would have killed us already, if they were going to," the female said, although her voice wavered''}}

* [https://web.archive.org/web/20130505060219/http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/8/2010/04/first-contact-alien.png This] advice for what to do when making first contact with aliens makes the point that, since there is almost no chance that two random species would just happen to be at similar levels of technology, and they are the ones with interstellar flight, if the alien hasn't killed you already it probably isn't hostile.

 

* In ''[[Fallout 3]]'', the Player can have a random encounter with "[[Shout-Out|Mel]]", a highwayman who tries to stick you up with a sawed-off shotgun. The Intelligence-tied response basically calls him out on it, stating that a real raider would have just killed and looted.

 

* In ''[[Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker]]'' there is a flashback to the final battle between the [[Batman: The Animated Series|original Batman and Joker]]. Batman, [[Moral Event Horizon|enraged by Joker's latest crime]], threatens to break him in two, but the Joker flippantly responds that he would have done that years ago if he "had the guts for ''that'' kind of fun." Then he shanks Batman in the leg.

* Done by the ''hero'' in ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'' during the climax of the [[Myth Arc|Justice League/Cadmus conflict that drove the first two seasons]]. Cadmus, [[Cape Busters|a shadowy government organization dedicated to combating the League if they ever turn against the government]], has its former headquarters destroyed by orbital bombardment from [[Kill Sat|the League's space station]] mere hours after a dramatic rescue where Superman and the Huntress saved the Question during torturous interrogation. However, the headquarters had been abandoned immediately after the conflict and all the orbital attack did was destroy what is now an abandoned warehouse. Batman points out to Amanda Waller, the head of Cadmus, that the League has had the organization under surveillance for months, of ''course'' they saw them dismantle and move the offices. When Waller then claims that it was a warning shot Batman, by now getting fed up with the conversations tells her "[[Crowning Moment of Funny|Don't be dense.]]" If the League had wanted to attack Cadmus they ''would'' have attacked Cadmus, and they never did; [[Lex Luthor]] had hacked their satellite and fired the weapon himself.

** Superman, on the other hand, was tempted to attack Cadmus.

 

* This is also one of the [[Memetic Badass|Chuck Norris facts]].