If You Die, I Call Your Stuff: Difference between revisions

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Don't think, however, that this claim won't be invoked if in fact, you '''DO''' die [[Not Quite Dead|(or appear to)]].

Compare and contrast [[Where There's a Will, There's A Sticky Note]] and [[Personal Effects Reveal]]. See also [[Due to ~~The~~ Dead]]; actually looting the body is often regarded as an offense against it.

Compare and contrast [[Where There's a Will, There's a Sticky Note]] and [[Personal Effects Reveal]]. See also [[Due to the Dead]]; actually looting the body is often regarded as an offense against it.

Compare [[Kleptomaniac Hero]].

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== Anime ==

* The ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]'' dub:

* The ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!]]'' dub:

{{quote| '''Weevil''': If Yugi loses, I call dibs on his Dark Magician.

'''Rex''': Why don't you show a little compassion for once? Let ''me'' take his Dark Magician. }}

** And [[The Abridged Series]]

{{quote| '''Mokuba''': If Joey's dead, can I have his trading cards?}}

* Played straight in the fourth volume of ''[[Dorothy of Oz (~~Manhwa~~)|Dorothy of Oz]]'' with Dopey asking Grumpy if he can have his helmet if said older dwarf dies after nearly being fried alive by Mara's lightning powers.

* Played straight in the fourth volume of ''[[Dorothy of Oz (manhwa)|Dorothy of Oz]]'' with Dopey asking Grumpy if he can have his helmet if said older dwarf dies after nearly being fried alive by Mara's lightning powers.

* ''[[Natsume Yuujinchou]]'': Madara/Nyanko-sensei tells everyone that the reason he sticks around Natsume so much is because he wants to take the Book of Friends once Natsume dies. It's probably a lie, though, since he could just kill Natsume and get it over with.

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== [[Film]] ==

* ''[[¡Three Amigos! ~~(Film)~~|Three Amigos]]!'': When the Amigos arrive in Santo Poco, they don't know that they're meant to fight with El Guapo and his bandits. A little Mexican boy asks one of them (in Spanish) "Can I have your watch when you are dead?"

* ''[[¡Three Amigos!|Three Amigos]]!'': When the Amigos arrive in Santo Poco, they don't know that they're meant to fight with El Guapo and his bandits. A little Mexican boy asks one of them (in Spanish) "Can I have your watch when you are dead?"

* ''[[Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure|Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey]]'': Inverted.

{{quote| '''Dead Bill:''' Ted.

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* ''[[City Slickers]]'': "If he dies, I'm going after Barbara."

* ''[[Back to The Future]] 3'': The gun salesman is happy to provide a brand new Colt Peacemaker for Marty's duel against Tannen... but should Marty lose, he will want it back, okay?

* ''[[Three Ninjas|3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain]]'': When Rocky finds that his girlfriend has been [[Chained to A Railway]] (as bait so the bad guys can capture him), he decides to head there alone to save her, while his brothers and neighbor stay put:

* ''[[Three Ninjas|3 Ninjas: High Noon At Mega Mountain]]'': When Rocky finds that his girlfriend has been [[Chained to a Railway]] (as bait so the bad guys can capture him), he decides to head there alone to save her, while his brothers and neighbor stay put:

{{quote| '''Tum Tum''': Hey, Rocky, if you don't come back, can I have your Barry Bonds glove?

'''Colt''': Tum Tum!

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* Early in ''[[Memphis Belle]]'', the characters are shown divvying up the personal effects of a crewman who didn't make it back from the last mission. One of the characters asks if they should be doing this, and is told that otherwise it would all be sent back to his wife, and they didn't want her receiving anything embarrassing, like condoms...

** Later in the same movie, one of the characters becomes obsessed with the idea that he's going to die, and starts giving his ''own'' treasured possessions out to his comrades.

* In ''[[The ~~Thirteenth~~ Warrior]]'' (the [[Film of the Book]] ''[[~~Eaters~~ of ~~the Dead~~]]'') Antonio Banderas' character is an Arab trapped amongst Norsemen in a re-imagining of Beowulf. After he grinds down a massive sword he isn't able to use into a scimitar, one of his companions asks, "When you die, can I give that to me daughter?"

* In ''[[The 13th Warrior]]'' (the [[Film of the Book]] ''[[The 13th Warrior]]'') Antonio Banderas' character is an Arab trapped amongst Norsemen in a re-imagining of Beowulf. After he grinds down a massive sword he isn't able to use into a scimitar, one of his companions asks, "When you die, can I give that to me daughter?"

* ''[[The Mechanic]]''. The [[Bastard Understudy]] returns to claim the [[Big Fancy House]] and [[Cool Car]] of his [[Career Killer]] mentor after killing him. {{spoiler|Unfortunately the mentor anticipated this and rigged the car to explode.}}

* During Timmy's battle with the pirates at the beginning of ''[[A Fairly Odd Movie Grow Up Timmy Turner]]'', Cosmo asks him "If you die, can I have your bike?"

* During Timmy's battle with the pirates at the beginning of ''[[A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!]]'', Cosmo asks him "If you die, can I have your bike?"

== [[Literature]] ==

* ''[[All Quiet ~~On the Western Front (Literature)|All Quiet On~~ the Western Front]]'' has an unfunny version of this with a pair of very good boots. Near the beginning, their current owner is dying of a wound and asks the narrator to give the boots to another member of the unit. Since the wound involves an amputated leg, one of the comrades comments that he'd only ever use one boot anyhow. Near the end, the narrator (who now owns the boots) reveals he's already promised them to someone else, as each of his friends who owned them before him have died one by one and he has no illusions about going home.

* ''[[All Quiet on the Western Front]]'' has an unfunny version of this with a pair of very good boots. Near the beginning, their current owner is dying of a wound and asks the narrator to give the boots to another member of the unit. Since the wound involves an amputated leg, one of the comrades comments that he'd only ever use one boot anyhow. Near the end, the narrator (who now owns the boots) reveals he's already promised them to someone else, as each of his friends who owned them before him have died one by one and he has no illusions about going home.

* At the end of ''[[The Hobbit]]'', Bilbo Baggins returns home to find that his relatives have declared him legally dead and started selling off his possessions. Luckily he has enough gold from his adventure to buy everything back (except for his silver spoons) and still have enough left over to be the richest hobbit in the Shire.

* In the sixth ''[[Slayers]]'' light novel:

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== [[Live Action TV]] ==

* ''[[~~Torchwood (TV)|~~Torchwood]]'' has a creepy variant. If you die, ''they claim your body''. Admittedly, they have good reasons for this, but it's still creepy. Also, they claim your memories should you ever leave Torchwood, but that's entirely understandable, given how hip deep they are in things they don't want most of the planet to know about.

* ''[[Torchwood]]'' has a creepy variant. If you die, ''they claim your body''. Admittedly, they have good reasons for this, but it's still creepy. Also, they claim your memories should you ever leave Torchwood, but that's entirely understandable, given how hip deep they are in things they don't want most of the planet to know about.

* ''[[~~Stargate SG-1 (TV)|~~Stargate SG-1]]'', "The Enemy Within." Jack asks, in what has to be the greatest [[Mood Whiplash]] Subverted [[Tear Jerker]] ''ever'', "If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?"

* ''[[Stargate SG-1]]'', "The Enemy Within." Jack asks, in what has to be the greatest [[Mood Whiplash]] Subverted [[Tear Jerker]] ''ever'', "If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?"

** To be fair, he's deliberately being silly to keep his mind off the fact that his buddy might die from what's going on, plus cheering said buddy up.

* ''[[~~Firefly (TV)|~~Firefly]]'' had a variation on this:

* ''[[Firefly]]'' had a variation on this:

{{quote| '''Mal:''' Hell, this job, I would pull for free.

'''Zoe:''' Then can I have your share?

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'''[[Number Two|Zoe]]:''' What, and risk my ship?

'''Mal:''' I mean it. It's cold, and I don't wanna get left. }}

* One Episode of ''[[Star Trek Deep Space Nine ~~(TV)~~|Star Trek Deep Space Nine]]'' has Jadzia borrowing Worf's prized collection of Klingon operas as the latter left for a dangerous mission, threatening to "misplace" them if he didn't hurry and come back alive.

* One Episode of ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|Star Trek Deep Space Nine]]'' has Jadzia borrowing Worf's prized collection of Klingon operas as the latter left for a dangerous mission, threatening to "misplace" them if he didn't hurry and come back alive.

* In ''[[~~Farscape (TV)|~~Farscape]]'', Rygel goes so far as to give Crichton what seems to be the Hynerian version of the last rites, declare him dead, and claim all his possessions for himself.

* In ''[[Farscape]]'', Rygel goes so far as to give Crichton what seems to be the Hynerian version of the last rites, declare him dead, and claim all his possessions for himself.

** Later on inverted: about to go on a suicide mission, John tells Rygel he can have all his stuff. "You're a material guy, Rygel. Have some material." The tone of this is quite hurtful, and Rygel is surprisingly affected.

** When dying for real though, alternate Crichton teases Rygel by saying he still can't have his stuff.

* ''[[Just Shoot Me]]'': Jack remarks that according to his (broken) heart monitor he's dead. Finch immediately comes back with "Let me be the first to say, you were a great, great man, and dibs on your wife."

* The Janitor in ''[[~~Scrubs (TV)|~~Scrubs]]'' to J.D. when the latter is checked into the hospital.

* The Janitor in ''[[Scrubs]]'' to J.D. when the latter is checked into the hospital.

* On an episode of ''[[Grace Under Fire]]'', Grace tries to explain to her kids that she's made arrangements in case something should happen to her. Libby naively asks if she can have the tv if Grace dies, and Quentin starts to chew her out for not taking it seriously enough, Grace thinks. It turns out he thinks he should get the tv because he's the oldest.

* In a perfectly agreed and reciprocal version of this, Steve and Jeff in ''[[Coupling]]'' are "Porn Buddies" - should one of them die, it is the other's responsibility to clear out [[Porn Stash|all the porn]] before their family [[Personal Effects Reveal|goes through their effects]]. This also serves as a form of condolence - what better to help you through the grieving process?

* This, or a variation of, is a typical response when contestants on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway? ~~(TV)~~|Whose Line Is It Anyway]]'' have to come up with Bad Things to Say to Someone On Their Deathbed.

* This, or a variation of, is a typical response when contestants on ''[[Whose Line Is It Anyway?|Whose Line Is It Anyway]]'' have to come up with Bad Things to Say to Someone On Their Deathbed.

{{quote| '''Colin:''' So when do you think Susan will be ready to date again?}}

* ''[[~~Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV)|~~Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' did it when they spoofed ''[[Last Clear Chance]]'', a road safety film from the 1950s. As the main character watches his older brother get killed at a train crossing (in '''very''' [[Too Dumb to Live]] fashion), Servo shouts out "Can I have your room?"

* ''[[Mystery Science Theater 3000]]'' did it when they spoofed ''[[Last Clear Chance]]'', a road safety film from the 1950s. As the main character watches his older brother get killed at a train crossing (in '''very''' [[Too Dumb to Live]] fashion), Servo shouts out "Can I have your room?"

** And after Crow takes inspiration from the film ''[[The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad]]'' only to get trapped outside the sattelite: "Hi, Crow? This is Tom. If you're gonna die out there in the cold void of space, can I have that Toblerone you've been hiding under your bed?"

* The following exchange from ''[[~~Young Blades (TV)|~~Young Blades]]'' when D'Artagnan is about to embark on a ridiculous mission:

* The following exchange from ''[[Young Blades]]'' when D'Artagnan is about to embark on a ridiculous mission:

{{quote| '''[[Big Eater|Ramon:]]''' When you die, may I have your horse?

'''D'Artagnan:''' Yes...but don't eat him. }}

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'''Chris Skelton''': Go on.

'''Ray Carling''': Well. If you don’t make it out of here, can I have your mug? Only mine's knackered. }}

* In the sesaon five premire of ''[[~~NCIS (TV)|~~NCIS]]'' ("Bury Your Dead"), Tony returns after being presumed dead in a car bomb explosion and he's annoyed to find everyone has pinched his office supplies.

* In the sesaon five premire of ''[[NCIS]]'' ("Bury Your Dead"), Tony returns after being presumed dead in a car bomb explosion and he's annoyed to find everyone has pinched his office supplies.

{{quote| '''Abby:''' Everybody else gave you up for dead, [[Everyone Can See It|even Ziva]].

'''Ziva:''' OK, so I may have acted a little hastily.

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(''Ducky is attempting to stealthily return the stapler when he's spotted'')

'''Ducky:''' My dear fellow, I never believed it for a moment. Welcome home. }}

* ''[[~~Myth Busters (TV)|~~Myth Busters]]''. The Build Team tests the myth that you can stop a car by throwing it into reverse (they are using walkie-talkies):

* ''[[Myth Busters]]''. The Build Team tests the myth that you can stop a car by throwing it into reverse (they are using walkie-talkies):

{{quote| '''Tory:''' Hey, uh...just in case this doesn't work, and the car spirals out of control and you crash and die...can I have your robot?

'''Grant:''' I want the robot to be buried next to me, over.

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== [[Radio]] ==

* In [[The BBC]]'s [[~~JRR~~ ~~Tolkien~~ ~~(Creator)~~|Tolkien]] spoof ''Hordes of the Things'', when the wizard Radox the Green is about to risk his life, he gets into a [[Overly Long Gag|protracted argument]] with his fellow wizard Badedas the Blue about which of the wizards will get which of his belongings if he doesn't come back.

* In [[The BBC]]'s [[J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien]] spoof ''Hordes of the Things'', when the wizard Radox the Green is about to risk his life, he gets into a [[Overly Long Gag|protracted argument]] with his fellow wizard Badedas the Blue about which of the wizards will get which of his belongings if he doesn't come back.

== [[Tabletop Games]] ==

* As noted in one of the page quotes, likely to happen both in and out of character in role-playing games, regardless of characters' supposed morals. In extreme cases, and due to the freedom of most such games, particularly vicious players--the kind whose group you leave and hope to never see again--might even plot to kill another player's character and divvy the stuff up if they have particularly good loot. Can also lead to conflicts of interest where a good roleplayer wants the stuff but has to play a character who would do anything to get their friend back.

** Also a rule in [[Munchkin (~~Tabletop Game~~)|Munchkin]], actually the only penalty for dying as your new character is the same level, class, race, as your old one.

** Also a rule in [[Munchkin (game)|Munchkin]], actually the only penalty for dying as your new character is the same level, class, race, as your old one.

** A potential rules exploit, as new PCs start with magic items in 3rd and 4th edition [[Dungeons and Dragons|D&D]] as replacement characters usually start the same level as their previous character with loot appropriate to their character level. The party gets to keep the old character's loot while the new character brings in new loot.

* Bizarrely, [[Paranoia (~~Tabletop Game~~)|Paranoia]], the RPG most infamous for having players kill each other, averts this, largely to make all the dying everyone does less bad. (There's is indeed plenty of "stuff", but [[Made of Explodium|you probably don't want to take it]].)

* Bizarrely, [[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]], the RPG most infamous for having players kill each other, averts this, largely to make all the dying everyone does less bad. (There's is indeed plenty of "stuff", but [[Made of Explodium|you probably don't want to take it]].)

== [[Video Games]] ==

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* There are several scenes with Daxter that play when you die in the first ''[[Jak and Daxter]]'' game, and one of them is Daxter asking, "Can I have your bug collection?"

* ''[[The Lost Vikings]]'' Holds the quote above.

* In ''[[Valkyria Chronicles]]'' [[Skies of Arcadia ~~(Video Game)~~|Aika]]'s message on rescuing a downed squadmember is "If you die, I'm gonna take ''allll'' your treasure!"

* In ''[[Valkyria Chronicles]]'' [[Skies of Arcadia|Aika]]'s message on rescuing a downed squadmember is "If you die, I'm gonna take ''allll'' your treasure!"

* Occasionally, when Master Chief dies in [[Halo]], nearby marines (if there are any [[Redshirt Army|left alive]]) will say something to the effect of "Grab his helmet!" Grunts will also do the same thing.

** The former would make ''sense'' in Halo 1 and 2, however, as the Chief's helmet carries the AI simulacrum of Cortana. Making it less a "Ooh, I get his cool stuff!" and more a "Prevent the enemy from acquiring the most vital piece of intelligence in the galaxy."

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** In the case of anyone's existence failure, the first question is 'What'd he drop?'

** [http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f33/chrislowe83/wowned.gif This.] The legend says the post got deleted by mods few minutes after the reply and the guy asking the question was banned.

* If you die in ''[[~~Half-Life 2 (Video Game)|~~Half-Life 2]]'', sometimes the rebels accompanying you will lay claims on your crowbar or hazmat suit.

* If you die in ''[[Half-Life 2]]'', sometimes the rebels accompanying you will lay claims on your crowbar or hazmat suit.

* This can often cause the death of many a dwarf in ''[[Dwarf Fortress]]'', as, if one of their brethren is felled, an opportunistic dwarf may rush straight towards the corpse to pillage it of its equipment, and get promptly killed by whatever caused the first dwarf's death. Then another dwarf may try to collect the loot of both dwarfs, and meet the same demise. [[Overly Long Gag|And yet another...]]]

* In [[Minecraft]], when you die you drop all your stuff. This means that somebody around you can pick it up, and keep it for themselves.

== [[Web Comics]] ==

* One of [[If You Die, I Call Your Stuff|two]] [[Big No|contrasting]] reactions in [http://arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/1782.htm this] ''[[Arthur King of Time and Space]]''.

* One of [[If You Die, I Call Your Stuff|two]] [[Big No|contrasting]] reactions in [http://arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/1782.htm this] ''[[Arthur, King of Time and Space]]''.

* A variant, in [http://www.thenoobcomic.com/index.php?pos=6 this] [[The Noob]] comic - After meeting a veteran MMORPG player who is about to quit, the title character asks, "Can I have your stuff?"

* In ''[[Erfworld]]'', when Parson is pulled into Erfworld by Wanda's summoning spell, one of his fellow gamers' first comment is "Dibs on his dice."

* ''[[~~Shortpacked (Webcomic)|~~Shortpacked]]'' [http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20090317.html here].

* ''[[Shortpacked]]'' [http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20090317.html here].

* ''[[Questionable Content]]'' put their own spin on it [http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1166 here]. The belongings of the prospective deceased will be split by lottery instead of being fought over.

* ''[[Girl Genius]]'': A minor character displayed [[Too Dumb to Live|fatally poor judgement]] by trying to take Sanaa <s>Wilhelm</s> Tryggvassen [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20100319 hostage]. One of the other prisoners promptly calls "Dibs on his boots!".

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== [[Western Animation]] ==

* In an ''[[Arthur (~~Animation~~)|Arthur]]'' episode called "D.W Flips", the twins ask D.W. if they could have her toys if she dies attempting a gymnastic stunt.

* In an ''[[Arthur (animation)|Arthur]]'' episode called "D.W Flips", the twins ask D.W. if they could have her toys if she dies attempting a gymnastic stunt.

* ''[[~~Beast Wars (Animation)|~~Beast Wars]]: [[Transformers]]''

* ''[[Beast Wars]]: [[Transformers]]''

{{quote| '''Rattrap:''' [to Optimus] Uh...just in case you don't come back...can I have your quarters?}}

** Then Primal does die, and then comes [[Back From the Dead]] at the start of the next season. At the end of the episode he returns in, he states that one of the things he has to do is "[[Brick Joke|have Rattrap move all his junk out of my quarters!]]"

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'''Second Clone''': Oh, of course you can! }}

* In ''[[South Park]]'' - ''Best Friends Forever'', when Kenny is put into a coma Cartman is given his PSP, and fights for Kenny to be taken off life support so he can keep it.

* Stork sings a song about this in ''[[~~Storm Hawks (Animation)|~~Storm Hawks]]''.

* Stork sings a song about this in ''[[Storm Hawks]]''.

* In the ''[[Hey Arnold]]'' episode "24 Hours to Live," Gerald tries to reassure Arnold that Harold has forgotten his plan to beat him up tomorrow for beaning him during a baseball game. Then the following happens:

{{quote| '''Helga:''' ''(yelled at Arnold while passing on a bus)'' Hey, Arnold! 23 hours until you die! ''(cackling maniacally)''