If You Ever Do Anything to Hurt Her...: Difference between revisions

 

{{examples}}

* How about a male-warning-''[[Boys Love|gay]]'' (well, bi) male example? Hiro, Shuichi's best friend, warns Yuki against making Shuichi cry any more than he already does in ''[[Gravitation]]''.

* This phrase is often repeated by Ryoga in ''[[Ranma ½]]''. Odd thing is that he actually backs up this claim more than once, and often when it just [[Accidental Pervert|looks like he did something]]. Also unusual in that Ryoga hasn't really given Akane up yet, nor has he really been beaten.

 

 

* Tag-team variant: in the comic ''[[Excalibur (Comic Book)|Excalibur]]'', Brian and Kurt (Captain Britain and Nightcrawler) warn teammate Pete Wisdom that if he hurts Kitty (fellow teammate Shadowcat) in any way, they'd rip his head off, desecrate it with graffiti, and drop it in the middle of the English Channel.

* Wolverine performs the brotherly version in the ''[[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]]'' comics, after Gambit returns to the team following the blowup about his past misdeeds, warning Gambit that if he hurts Rogue again, he and Logan are going to have some sharp, pointy, adamantium words.

 

 

* In [[Lilly Epilogue (Good End): Family Matters|Lilly Epilogue Family Matters]], Mr. Satou, having finally conceded that Hisao is a good match for Lilly, says that he has connections to hunt him down if he does anything to harm her. Hisao wonders if he actually does have those kinds of resources at his disposal.

* In ''[[Earth and Sky (fanfic)|Earth and Sky]]'', when Big Macintosh notices that Applejack and Apple Bloom are developing attractions to Soarin' and Pipsqueak (respectfully), he takes the latter two aside for a talk, and casually mentions that he doesn't like it when anypony upsets his sisters... and also that he can crush rocks the size of a stallion's head with his bare hooves. Soarin' is suitably scared, but Pip ''completely'' [[Comically Missing the Point|misses the point of the conversation.]]

 

 

* The page quote comes from [[My Big Fat Greek Wedding]], but there it's a bit of a subversion. Niko tells Ian he's just kidding... and then threatens him again. [[Running Gag|Over and over again]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NnZL9DD-oag#t=227s including through a cut away.]

* The film ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]: The Curse of the Black Pearl'' has a more subtle example, when Commodore Norrington, after learning that his fiancée really loves the smith Will Turner, tells Will that he expects him "to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life" as he does in his work; in the context of the conversation, it is obvious which aspect of Will's life he's particularly referring to.

* [[The Fast and the Furious|Dom make his intentions clear to Brian should he hurt Mia in any way:]] "You break her heart, I'll break your neck."

 

* [[Absurdly Powerful Student Council|The Student Council President]] gives this to Layfon in regards to his sister Felli in [[Koukaku no Regios]]. It's played entirely for laughs, since Layfon has no idea that Felli likes him, and the President is wearing a [[Badass Longcoat]] over a red and white striped bathing suit.

* [[The Redemption of Althalus]] sees {{spoiler|Deiwos warning Althalus in this way. Considering Deiwos is a god, Althalus has good reason to never think about slipping up...}}

* Sibyl's brother to Dorian in ''[[The Picture of Dorian Gray]]''

 

 

* Uttered by Wesley to Gunn on ''[[Angel]]'':

{{quote|'''Wesley''': I just don't want to see her hurt.

 

 

* The Rodney Atkins song "Come on in Boy" seems to avert this at first, as the girl's father merely tells her date how much his daughter means to him and that "she deserves the best." However the last line in the chorus the father promises he'll see them when they get back, as he'll be up "still cleaning this gun."

* The basis for the song "Welcome to the Family" by Little Big Town is a man detailing to his new brother-in-law how scary his family is.

 

 

* Christopher Titus during his "LOVE IS EVOL" special mentions telling his new younger girlfriend's father that he'd take care of her. Her father, a Vietnam Veteran Marine Pilot, basically tells him, if he doesn't, "One Shot, One Kill".

** Later he jokes about how his body would be found over four states and he says that her brother, a federal agent, says, "They ain't gonna find ya."

 

 

 

 

* In ''[[Mass Effect]] 2'', after re-recruiting [[Wrench Wench|Tali]], you'll get an email from the quarian Admiralty Board saying (in somewhat formal diplomat-speak) "She's with you now. You're her captain, so what you say goes. Don't screw up or you'll have the whole fleet on your ass." Only at the end of the email does it say that the message is from ''Tali's father'' specifically. Bonus points since Tali is one of male!Shepard's possible [[Love Interest]]s.

** To anyone not familiar with the game (shame on you), the Quarians have the largest fleet in the galaxy.

** Becomes [[Harsher in Hindsight]] {{spoiler|on Tali's loyalty mission, when you discover Tali's father has died in the interim, because he was recklessly playing with AI soldiers, so that he could retake the Quarian homeworld for her.}}

* Discussed and parodied with Guybrush and a human LeChuck in ''[[Tales of Monkey Island]] Chapter 2: The Siege of Spinner Cay'':

{{quote|'''Guybrush:''' If you did anything to hurt Elaine while I was gone, I swear I'll--

 

 

* From [[Least I Could Do]] when [http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20091026 Rayne realises] {{spoiler|Archie and Issa are serious about each other:}}

{{quote|'''Rayne''': It goes without saying that should you cause her to so much as frown slightly - ''(evil face)'' The revolutionary guard will find you on the Iranian border, [[To the Pain|wrapped in an American Flag and in possession of a camera filled with pictures of their nuclear reactors.]]}}

 

 

* Although there's no spoken dialogue, it's probably safe to infer that this happens in some form in [[There She Is]], from Il-ho to Nabi. Even without the words there, the emotional context is definitely present. He carries through with the threat part in Step 4, {{spoiler|attacking Nabi for breaking up with Doki and breaking her heart, then they begrudgingly come to terms in Step 5 when Il-ho gives Nabi the second ticket to Paradise so that he can follow Doki, but Nabi rips it up, indicating he's done running from his problems. The Jjintta then help him [[Race For Your Love|race to the airport.]]}}

 

 

* Spoofed in ''[[Futurama]]'', when Zapp Brannigan tells Fry (who is pretending to be Leela's boyfriend) that if he screws up or hurts Leela in any way, Zapp will dive in to take his place "...like a fly on a particularly seductive piece of manure."

* ''[[Kim Possible]]'':When Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable start dating (thanks to some encouragement from the Moodulator), Kim's dad warns him that he'd better not make Kim unhappy unless he wants a one-way trip to a black hole.

 

 

 

 

* In ''[[Death Note]]'', the [[Shinigami]] Rem who seems to be female threatens to kill Light if his schemes do anything to hurt Misa.

** Light being [[The Chessmaster|Light]], he manipulates Rem into carrying this threat out on someone else. Just as planned.

 

 

* ''[[Queen and Country]]'' has a scene where Tara delivers this warning to her mother's fiancé, in [[Gratuitous French|French]].

 

 

* In the ''[[Death Note]]'' [[Alternate Universe Fic|AU]] ''[[Ragnarok (fanfic)]]'' Misa warns L:

{{quote|'''Misa:''' Hello, Mr. Great Detective! Play nice with Raito-kun; he's a genius but a bit difficult. Oh, and if anything happens to Raito while he is under L's care, Misa-Misa will destroy him if it is the last thing she does!}}

 

 

* Happens in a short and funny scene in ''[[Jerry Maguire]]'' when Jerry has "The Talk" with his new sister-in-law. After multiple characters have warned him about the talk, Jerry braces himself, goes in, and has "The Talk", which consists of:

{{quote|'''Sister-in-Law:''' If you screw this up I'll fucking kill you.

 

 

* In the [[Dragaera]] novel ''Yendi'', Vlad gets that warning from his wife's erstwhile [[Lovely Angels|assassin partner]]. Lampshaded in that he sees it coming and tries to head it off (but gets it anyway).

* Mayrie, Tayend's sister, warns Dannyl from [[The Black Magician Trilogy]] in this way, before they've even become a couple.

 

 

* The pilot episode of ''[[Dharma and Greg]]'': Dharma's friend, upon meeting Greg for the first time, warns him that "she'll bring him pain he can't even imagine" if he hurts Dharma.

* From ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'':

 

 

* In the third ''[[Jak and Daxter]]'' game, after [[Genius Ditz|Tess]] gives a new [[BFG]] to Jak, and tells him that she wants him to protect "her [[Love Interest|little baby]]" (Daxter) with it, or else she'll "hunt him down and hurt him REAL BAD."

* [[Dragon Age II|Isabela]] will give this warning to a Hawke romancing Merrill.

** She'll give a similar warning to a female Hawke as well.

 

* ''[[Tokimeki Memorial]] Drama Series 1 : Nijiiro no Seishun'' : [[spoiler: [[Schoolgirl Lesbians|Minori Akiho gives this speech to ["Heroic Mime|the main protagonist]] / [[Canon Name|Naoto]] [[Graceful Loser|when she gives her blessings]] for his relationship with her dear [[Sempai-Kohai|senpai]] [[Yamato Nadeshiko|Saki]] [[Team Mom|Nijino]] in the game's Best Ending."]

 

 

* Zeetha to Gil in ''[[Girl Genius]]''. Complicated further by the fact that he's still not sure she doesn't ''[[Dating Catwoman|need]]'' [[Dating Catwoman|hurting]].

** Though not made to a romantic rival, [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20060306 this epic threat by Gilgamesh] is similar in spirit.

 

 

* ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' has a frankly scary (non-romantic... [[Ho Yay|most likely]]) warning from {{spoiler|Katara to Zuko, soon after he joins the Gaang: "Let me tell you something right now. You make one step backward, one slip up, give me one reason to think you might hurt Aang, and you won't have to worry about your destiny any more. Because I'll make sure your destiny ends. Right then and there. PERMANENTLY."}} [[Ship Sinking|Zounds]]!

** Happens to Zuko again in the series finale... from his love interest, at that!

 

 

* In [[DC Nation]], Victor Stone gave this speech to Aurora when she started dating Gar. After Aurora shared a mind with Gar's batshit ex (Terra), she concluded that Vic was ''understating'' the warning.

 

 

* The movie ''[[Clerks]]'', when the [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass|otherwise childish and adolescent]] Randal Graves seriously warns "Oh, hey Caitlin. Break his heart again this time, and I'll kill ya. Nothing personal."

 

 

* ''[[Spaced]]'': Mike, who is intensely jealous of Tim's new girlfriend Sophie, warns her that "You hurt him, I'll kill you." Sophie, shocked, asks Tim if he was serious... to which Tim chuckles good-naturedly and replies, with complete, genial sincerity, "Yep."

* ''[[House (TV series)|House]]'': Wilson warns both Cameron and Stacey not to get House's hopes up only to hurt him later (he's a lot nicer about it with Cameron).

 

 

* Ratheel of [[Juathuur]] warns Veithel. {{spoiler|It's a failure of epic proportions.}}

 

 

* ''[[Vision of Escaflowne]]'' has Merle, Van's [[Catgirl]] [[Unlucky Childhood Friend]], deliver this to [[Ordinary High School Student|Hitomi]] after she decides that [[I Want My Beloved to Be Happy|she'll stop trying to fight fate over Van's obvious crush on Hitomi]].

* ''[[The Tower of Druaga (anime)|The Tower of Druaga]]'' has an inversion of sorts. After Kaaya's and Neeba's betrayal, Fatina, who previously had a [[All Girls Want Bad Boys|crush on Neeba]], gets over him and [[Single Woman Seeks Good Man|shifts her affections]] to [[Aloof Big Brother|Neeba's]] half-brother [[The Hero|Jil]]. Unfortunately for her, Jil never gets over Kaaya. After the two make up, Fatina slaps Kaaya as a punishment for previously breaking Jil's heart.

 

 

* [[Equestria Chronicles]] has Fireflare, who both gets warned and gives the warning on seperate occasions.

* In the [[Mega Crossover]] [[Fanfic|fan]][[Web Comic|comic]] ''[[Roommates 2007|Roommates]]'' it's delivered by [[Mama Bear|Mrs. Norrington]] (mother of [[Pirates of the Caribbean|Commodore Norrington]]) to {{spoiler|[[Les Misérables (novel)|Eponine]]}}. [http://asherhyder.deviantart.com/art/Roommates-210-The-Candle-Talk-270223192 Here.]

 

 

* [[Tomboy and Girly Girl|Watts to Amanda Jones]] in ''Some Kind of Wonderful'': "You break his heart, I break your face." {{spoiler|In the end, Amanda realizes that Watts's feelings are more genuine than hers and graciously concedes.}}

* ''[[D.E.B.S.]]'' (2004). Just before Amy and Lucy run off together, Amy's partner Max gives Lucy a warning.

 

 

* In [[Meg Cabot]]'s ''Missing'' series, Jess warns her brother's girlfriend "if you break his heart, I'll break your face." When her other brother begins dating her best friend, she repeats the same warning to her brother.

 

 

* In ''[[Chuck]]'', Sarah, who has feelings for Chuck, gives essentially this threat to his new girlfriend.

* Lynnette to {{spoiler|The teacher who's boinking her son}} in ''[[Desperate Housewives]]''.

 

 

* The song "Seven" by Vagiant has a variation where a girl warns her ex that she will beat up any girl who hurts him (which isn't really a fair warning, but whatever).

{{quote|And I'm gonna protect you till I die

 

 

* [http://www.arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/0211.htm This] ''Arthur, King of Time and Space'' strip.

* [http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=459 This] ''[[Questionable Content]]'' strip.

** None of which bodes well for Dora currently {{spoiler|as she has dumped Marten because she couldn't get over own trust issues, and now his mom is on her way to town again.Marten's mom is TOTALLY sympathetic with Dora, too.}}

 

* Once on ''[[Ben 10]]'', Gwen chews out Ben's crush Kai for insulting him: "He's a person, not a pet! You can't talk to my cousin like that! [[Relationship Writing Fumble|Only ''I'' can talk to my cousin like that]]!" Entirely non-romantic in context.

** Seems more like unfortunate timing with that particular phrase, as it's a long-standing schoolyard "older sibling protects younger sibling" line.