Improbable Weapon User: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

 

{{quote|"''Here's a riddle: When is a Croquet Mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be.''"

 

The high probability your wackiest party member, like the [[Team Pet]], will use some sort of bizarre and, well, improbable "weapon"—that is, in the sense of an object you could conceivably hit something with. And some of these 'weapons' don't even go that far.

 

See also [[This Banana Is Armed]], [[Trick Arrow]], [[Nerf Arm]], [[Killer Yoyo]], [[Parasol of Pain]], [[Rings of Death]], the aforementioned [[Paper Fan of Doom]], the aforementioned [[Frying Pan of Doom]] and [[Rolling Pin of Doom]], [[Throw the Book At Them]], [[Instrument of Murder]], The [[Death Dealer]], [[Battle Tops]], and the silliest of them all, the [[Musical Assassin]]. Compare [[Martial Arts and Crafts]], [[Joke Item]] and [[Lethal Joke Item]]. See also [[Abnormal Ammo]].

 

{{examples}}

== Anime and Manga ==

* The ''[[Tokyo Mew Mew]]'' girls have a habit of using these. Mew Lettuce, the worst offender, has a pair of ''castanets'', though at least she shoots water from them. Mew Pudding has tambourines can that rend the earth and encase a target in ''jello'', and Mew Ichigo has a pink heart-shaped bell that shoots out waves of sparkly healing power (the remaining two team members, Mew Mint and Mew Zakuro, use the more reasonable bow-and-arrow and whip, respectively).

** Cure Lemonade from ''[[Yes! Pretty Cure 5|Yes! Precure 5]]'' also uses castanets, which is odd, because her teammate, Cure Mint, is an [[Expy]] of Mew Lettuce.

** Yo-yos are just the beginning. If you're a ''[[Delinquents|sukeban]]'', you've got to have a "signature" weapon. Examples include bicycle chains, cup-and-ball toys, bamboo umbrellas, guitar picks (shuriken style), billiard balls, and even a bowling ball carried by one really enormous schoolgirl.

* ''[[Read or Die]]''. Some people use paper fans. And then there's Yomiko Readman, who uses just plain paper.

* Nicholas D. Wolfwood, the secondary hero in the Anime/Manga ''[[Trigun]]'' could be seen as the king of the unusual weapons. He, a gun-toting, hard-drinking (apparently Catholic) priest, uses a cross called "The Punisher" as his signature weapon. A cross six feet tall, three feet wide and made of steel. The common version of the cross has one of the "arms" housing six automatic pistols on a rack, the "foot" housing a machine gun that would fit on a helicopter, the other "arm" holding ammo for this gun, and the "head" holding a recoilless anti-tank missile launcher. It's heavy because "it's full of mercy(alternately, God's love)". Yeah, right.

** Nicholas's teacher {{spoiler|and Gung-Ho Guns mentor}}, Chapel the Evergreen, also wields a cross/weapon (which fans call "Neo-Punisher"). ''His'' splits into twin miniguns.

* Many of the characters in ''[[Blade of the Immortal]]'' use weapons that look incredibly cool... until you start asking questions about how they'd work in reality. The creator, Hiroaki Samura, [[Lampshade Hanging|hung a lampshade on this]] with the "Samura's Weapon Shop!" feature, which explains all the weapons, including the ones that don't make any sense. Examples: two sickles connected by an expansible chain ("The chain fits into one of the scabbards, and can stretch out to about seven feet. Whether this is good for anything is another question entirely."), a blade with little curved hooks on both edges ("What the hell is this thing? Don't ask me."), and two blades so narrow they look like kitchen skewers ("To be perfectly honest, I wonder why he doesn't just use a normal sword..."). Later, the sadistic Shira, who's {{spoiler|had one hand cut off by Manji}}, makes up for this by (warning: squicky) {{spoiler|''sharpening the protruding bone'' and using ''that'' as a weapon.}} It works about as well as you might expect.

** Surprisingly, these examples work in real life: the chain-and-sickles is a variation of the traditional Japanese Kusari-gama, also used by Guilty Gear X's Axl(in the same two-sickle formation); the hooked blade can be justified by the additional damage caused by ripping action of the hooks upon cutting (the jagged edges of the wound heal slower), in the same fashion as soldiers who used to saw teeth into their bayonet blades; as for the narrow sword, almost all swords from the renaissance onwards were very thin, flexible blades, useful for only their stabbing action (they could only inflict superficial cuts, nothing like a medieval claymore).

* A cyborg assassin in ''[[Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex]]'' uses a gun implanted in her right arm that fires coins. Just how it manages to shoot rolls of coins in a way that would make a SPAS-12 combat shotgun green with envy is never explained. The reason why she chose that particular and weird weapon can be imagined, though; she appears to have distinctly anti-capitalist principles, so the coin shotgun must be her idea of irony.

* ''[[Reborn]]''. First there's Joshima Ken, who uses different sets of ''teeth'' to adopt the abilities of different animals. Kakimoto Chikusa who uses yo-yos that shoot out poisoned needles. M.M who uses a clarinet that, when played, creates [[Brown Note|special sound waves]] that cause the substance the clarinet is aimed at to boil instantly, which is called 'Burning Vibrato'. Levi who uses ''umbrellas that discharge electricity''. Bianchi who specializes in ''poison cooking''. I-Pin who enhances her martial arts skills with special gyoza dumplings laced with garlic, which numbs the brain and forces the victim's muscles to involuntarily move on their own. Uh, ''yeah...''

** Tsuna's ''woolly mittens.'' Hibari's ''handcuffs'' to the list. Gamma's ''pool cues'', Lancia's [[Epic Flail|giant flail which can utilize air currents to inflict more damage as well]], Shamal uses ''mosquitoes'' and come on, Kikyou {{spoiler|killed Genkishi}} using freaking ''flowers''.

*** Erm... you might want to watch the setup phase of the [[This Is a Drill|most common attack sequence]] again. {{spoiler|the shades are used to immobilize the target before the [[This Is a Drill|actual weapon]] goes to town}}

* ''[[Mahou Sensei Negima]]''':

** Asuna uses a fan in serious combat until she manages to upgrade into a sword. And not a war fan, an [[Paper Fan of Doom|actual paper fan]], and it's not entirely played for laughs due to some special intrinsic abilities.

** Evangeline fights with ''strings'', which she uses to restrain people and control her puppets.

* When Griffith cuts Nosferatu Zodd's arm off in ''[[Berserk]]'', the Apostle picks it up and hits Guts with it so hard that he flies across the room. Then Zodd [[Healing Factor|reattaches it]].

* One of [[Enfant Terrible|Unzen Hyouri's]] [[Mook]]s in ''[[Medaka Box]]'' uses a bicycle as a weapon. However, that pales in comparison to Hyouri himself, who uses ''superballs.''

 

== Comic Books ==

* In ''[[Exoria]]'', a ''Zelda'' fanfic which is set in modern times, rather than using a normal blade, Link uses a gunsword, a sword that folds back into a silenced handgun. The Valentine special forces ''also'' use gunswords as their standard weapon of choice.

* In ''[[Final Stand of Death]]'', Chainz has a set of chains he told off Potato Khan and uses them in a [[Bar Brawl]]. Later, we learn [[Spice Girls| Geri]] had a chain-whip in her possession.

 

== Film ==

* Red Orm in Frans G Bengtsson's ''[[The Long Ships]]'' uses a chopping block as a thrown weapon in a fight. Noone else is able to even lift it, which makes him very happy.

* [[Patricia C. Wrede]] has a short story called "[[Enchanted Forest Chronicles|Utensile Strength]]" which features something called the [[Frying Pan of Doom]]. Anyone struck by the aforementioned weapon is transformed into a giant poached egg. (The story also features a barbarian hero cook-off, and is great fun.)

** Pictsies also allegedly carry their babies with them into battle, if only as a backup weapon. Not necessarily a poor choice, as male infant pictsies evidently use their cradle as a boxing ring.

** And for [[Discworld]]'s own Ur-example, there's Conina the Barbarian Hairdresser. A beautician by preference and a [[Badass]] by genetics (being Cohen the Barbarian's illegitimate daughter), she combines her two aptitudes by using curling irons, crimps, and other salon implements in combat. Her ''Discworld Companion'' entry speculates that Conina might convert absolutely ''anything''—a hairgrip, a piece of paper, a hamster—into a deadly weapon in a pinch.

{{quote|''One big pumpkin, her Second Thoughts urged. They get really hard at this time of year. Shoot him now!''}}

** Sam Vimes's [[Battle Butler|butler]] Willikins grew up on the streets of Ankh-Morpork. He used a cap with sharpened pennies fastened on the brim. Since [[Terry Pratchett]] is fond of historical trivia, this is actually [[Truth in Television]].

** Dwarf Bread. Implied to contain gravel as a major ingredient, it lasts for centuries, can be thrown with deadly force and accuracy, and forms a major part of dwarf culture. And in a desperate situation, you can even eat it. It would have to be ''very'' desperate though, it's use as a food source is primarily that when faced with the prospect of eating Dwarf Bread ''everything else'' looks damn tasty by comparison.

*** In the same book there's a mention made of an apprentice who attempts to use a broken-off bottle as a weapon in the tense stand-off at the Watch House in Treacle Mine Road. Unfortunately, he does it wrong...which results in the rather tightly-gripped bottle entirely shattering into [[Absurdly Sharp Blade|sharper-than-razor fragments]]. Vimes calls the only doctor in the city worth being treated by, and between the first aid Vimes applied and the doctor's surgery, the man keeps his life and his hand will work again. This goes a long way towards defusing the tense situation.

** The [[All There in the Manual|Assassins' Guild Diary]] reveals that among the assorted lethal weapons employed for inhumations by famed guild-school graduates, the Guild museum houses a one-armed teddy bear names Mr. Wuggle.

* In ''[[Gormenghast|Titus Alone]]'', an enraged Flay attacks Steerpike by throwing a live cat at his face.

* Not exactly "wielded", but the protagonist of ''Pest Control'' verbally invokes this trope when he realizes he can use ''New York City'' as a "weapon" against the foreign hitmen on his trail. Like, say, leading one gun-brandishing killer through the kitchen of an Italian restaurant, then on into its dining room filled with Mafia dons and their trigger-happy bodyguards.

* [[The Old Kingdom|The Abhorsens]]. Magic bells. That is all.

* In ''[[The Cleric Quintet]]'', Cadderly Bonaduce starts out using a yo-yo.

** There's another one like that -

{{quote|Put down your weapons! Or I'll kill him with this jelly baby!}}

* In ''[[Community]]'' episode "[[Community/Recap/S2/E06 Epidemiology|Epidemiology]]", Jeff, whose costume is David Beckham, uses his soccer ball to take out a ''zombie''.

* [[Raising Hope|Virginia]] [[Mama Bear|Chance's]] trademark weapon for whenever she needs to take out a threat to her family is a TV, though Sabrina has used it too. [[Papa Wolf|Burt]] uses a guitar to take out [[Jerkass|Smokey Floyd]].

* Glenn uses a piece of store shelving to get a Walker off of Maggie in season 2 of [[The Walking Dead (TV series)|The Walking Dead]].

* ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]]'': in "Empok Nor", Garak is accidentally exposed to a drug that turns him into a xenophobic, psychopathic killer. O'Brien does manage to stop him in the end, but not before Garak kills one of O'Brien's engineers with the engineer's own flux coupler.

 

== Manhwa ==

*** One better: load a shotgun with a Lunar ally transformed into a mouse, fire him at your foe at the speed of sound, and have the Lunar transform into an elephant mid-flight, hitting the enemy with an elephant moving at Mach 2.

* The ''[[Weapons Of The Gods]]'' RPG, based on the comics of the same name features Dugu Four Ultimates: a Kung Fu whose example is ''parrying your opponent's God Weapon with your tea.''

** It is possible to use other party members as improvised weapons (usually by [[Fastball Special|flinging the enraged dwarf into the middle of the fray]]). Given a forgiving DM, it is likewise possible to gain weapon proficiencies in Angry Dwarf, Frying Pan, Tree, and Tavern Door.

** By default damn near ''anything'' can be used as a weapon in D&D, just not with proficiency (meaning a penalty to your attack roll). Anything blunt can be treated as a club, anything sharp as a dagger or sword, etc. They just won't be as good as actual weapons that were specifically designed to be deadly. One [[Prestige Class]], the [[Drunken Master]], erases these penalties so a bottle or tankard or anything else you happen to have at hand is every bit as deadly as military grade weaponry. And no, there [[Aint No Rule|is no rule]] forbidding you from having such items made Masterwork quality and enchanted.

** In ''[[Lufia 2 Rise of the Sinistrals]]'' the inventor, Lexis Shaia, uses a variety of tools as weapons, including the memorably named 'vice pliers'.

* Will, the main character in the Super Nintendo game ''[[Illusion of Gaia]]'', uses a flute to bash enemies.

** Well, what would you do if some idiot pulled that trick? Even if he isn't remembering Ocarina and figuring you're gonna do something insane with it (er, more insane than it is already), he's probably going "Wait...what?"

** Likewise, using an empty bottle against Ganondorf's projectiles in the first fight against him in ''Ocarina of Time'' actually works! When fighting the wizard in ''[[The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past|The Legend of Zelda a Link To T He Past]]'', the Bug Catching Net can also reflect the projectiles back. The net is also Link's [[Joke Weapon]] in ''Soul Calibur 2''.

*** The empty bottle trick works in Twilight Princess too.

* Several ''[[Wild ARMs]]'' games have at least one character fitting this trope.

** Lilka (umbrellas) and Marivel (Hob and Gob, two little robot thingies) in ''[[Wild ARMs 2]]''.

** And in ''Aria of Sorrow'', using the Killer Mantle soul causes Soma to hit enemies with a piece of cloth, dealing a little damage and switching the enemy's HP and MP. Since Golems have no MP, this makes Killer Mantle a one-hit kill on otherwise nigh-indestructible enemies, such as Iron Golems.

** The soul system in the Sorrow games in general can approach this, such as the Skeleton Waiter soul, which uses ''curries'' to kill enemies. The Yeti soul can make you roll up a snowball to attack enemies with too.

** In ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]: Peace Walker'', you can hold up guards with a [[Fundamentally Funny Fruit|banana]].

* Between the two ''[[Touhou]]'' fighter games, the character Yukari Yakumo, whose power allows her to creates holes in space (gaps) that allow for instantaneous movement from one place to another, makes effective use of a strange arsenal: dropped statues, road signs, and a train. Yes, a ''train''. She also uses her [[Parasol of Pain|umbrella]] as a weapon.

** The original ''[[Fable]]'' has a sub-quest that lets you find a frying pan for use as a weapon....albeit one with 100 damage points and four augmentation spots. The trick, however, is to have all six clues to its whereabouts before you dig it up; if you cheat (or dig it up unintentionally) and skip gathering all of the clues, the frying pan will have no augmentation slots or damage points whatsoever.

** In the Mourningwood section of ''[[Fable]] III'', one of the soldiers will be bashing Hollow Men with a ''lute''. "I never knew hollow men had such great acoustics!" indeed...

** The [[Joke Item]]s take this even further.

* ''[[Prince of Persia]]: Warrior Within'' had several joke weapons, including a teddy bear, a lawn flamingo, a glove, and a glow-in-the-dark sword.

* ''[[Monster Girl Quest Paradox]]'' has all sorts of bizarre weapons, mostly the ones used by the non-combat jobs. Merchants use abacuses, doctors use scalpels, maids use plates...

* In ''[[Lust Grimm]]'', you use books as a weapon. Actually a case of [[Fridge Brilliance]], {{spoiler|as the world of the game is a story in a book.}}

 

== Web Comics ==

* The Bike Ninja in [[Yehuda Moon and The Kickstand Cyclery]] [http://www.yehudamoon.com/index.php?date=2008-01-25 throws cassette cogs] instead of ninja stars.

* In ''[[Paranatural]]'', the "tools" used by the activity club to fight monsters include such things as paintbrushes and [[Paper Master|books]].

* ''[[Leftover Soup]]'' protagonist [http://www.leftoversoup.com/archive.php?num=22 Jamie Halligan wields] a [[wikipedia:Halligan bar|Halligan bar]].

{{quote|'''[[Word of God|Tailsteak]]''': [http://www.leftoversoup.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f{{=}}2&t{{=}}398&start{{=}}10#p4424 In terms of D&D stats, the Halligan bar would be considered an improvised weapon for anyone else (-4 penalty), but Jamie is considered proficient in its use. It does d6 damage, which can be bludgeoning, slashing or piercing. Jamie's particular copy is considered masterwork.]}}

* Shakila the [[Smart Guy|smart gal]] in 3rd RP of the ''[[Darwin's Soldiers]]'' universe has used everything from a [https://web.archive.org/web/20140208165941/http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=7319 nail gun] to a ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20140208165941/http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=7319 laptop]'' ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20140208165941/http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=7319 computer]'' to a [https://web.archive.org/web/20140208165941/http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=7319 screwdriver] as a weapon.

** Drake from ''New Divide'' uses a [https://web.archive.org/web/20140208141710/http://z7.invisionfree.com/thegangoffive/index.php?showtopic=8316 flute] as his weapon of choice.

* Agents in the ''[[Anti Cliche and Mary Sue Elimination Society]]'' use a lot of different weapons: Claire uses pinecones (yes, you read that right), Marcus sometimes uses an umbrella, Tyler uses a three foot long Lego axle, Tom uses a ''shrubbery'', and Stephen once beat a Sue into submission using a payphone.

* Pretty much the ''entire cast'' of ''[[RWBY]]'', where you will find things like little girls wielding scythes that transform into sniper rifles and guys with quarterstaves that break down into nunchaku which are made from shotguns. This is a series where both the weapons ''and'' their users are likely to be improbable.

** The epitome of this, though, has got to be the Breastforce, from the Japanese-only series ''Victory''. Their robot modes have chestplates than can be removed to turn into little robo-animal partners or hand-held guns.

** [[Transformers Animated|Prowl]]; hubcaps into shurikens. Jazz; tailpipes into ''nunchucks''. That is all.

** The majority of the ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' Autobots use improvised weaponry (grappling hooks, wrecking balls, welders) to one degree or another. This is topped by Ratchet, whose most powerful weapons are essentially powered-up medical equipment.

*** In the Animated continuity, pretty much all of the Autobots are pulling this one off. They're a work force forced into war, so it makes sense that they would use the tools of their trade.

* An episode of ''[[Futurama]]'' had Ben Franklin's [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy43iZCPeLI Franklinator], which is essentially an animal (usually a badger) tied to a stick. However, Bender receives one with a small shark, and Fry gets a chipmunk.

* In the pilot of ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'', Jackie beat off the Dark Hand Enforcers with a pair of ''windshield wipers''.

 

== Real Life ==

* Large, metal framed flashlights as mentioned above are actually extremely common among security officers who aren't permitted to carry weapons on duty.

* The [[wikipedia:Meteor hammer|meteor hammer]] is essentially a long rope with weighted knotted ends. In case this wasn't enough, skilled practioners light them on fire.

** A bottle of Fanta Orange Soda (Contents only), which ended with an assault charge.

** A pig (Thrown)

** The Battle of Mactan. The natives threw everything at Magellan's men—including but not limited to shellfish, coconuts, durian fruit and their own shit.

*** It's worth noting that a ripe durian can be used as a mace. Some people in other parts of Southeast Asia have been arrested and fined for attacking people with this fruit-mace, and people going into durian farms have to wear construction helmets.

* Look around the room you're in. Sometime, somewhere, somehow, each and every one of those object has been to kill a person.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Improvised Index]]

[[Category:Video Game Items and Inventory]]

[[Category:Weapons and Wielding Tropes]]

[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]