It Tastes Like Feet: Difference between revisions

[[File:footsandwich.jpg|frame|Well... I guess that's understandable.]]

 

 

For some reason, people tend to describe foods that taste terrible in terms of things that no sane person has any right to know what it tastes like.

 

See also [[Tastes Like Purple]], for things it shouldn't even be possible to taste. May or may not be invoked for [[Foreign Queasine]] or [[A Tankard of Moose Urine]].

{{examples}}

* In a an infamous episode of ''[[Pokémon (anime)|Pokémon]]'' (see [[Lethal Chef]]), James describes May's culinary disaster:

{{quote|'''James''': "It has a hint of...[[Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping|how you say]]...jet fuel. With ze aftertaste of burning tortoise."}}

* In ''[[Astro City]]'', Astra Furst says her breakfast tastes "manganese-flavor" (after her mother tells her it is supposed to be grape-flavor). Still, if anyone is going to know what manganese tastes like, it's probably Astra.

* A variation occurs in one episode of ''[[Suske en Wiske]]'' (Spike and Suzy). Two cigarette-smoking [[Mooks]] are guarding a shed when it catches fire, prompting one mook to ask the other "Hey, are you smoking your mattress?"

 

 

* At one point in [[Stephen King]]'s ''[[The Dark Tower|Dark Tower]]'' series of novels, Eddie asks Roland if raccoon-like billy-bumblers make good eating. Roland answers no, they're horrible: tough and gamy, and he'd sooner eat dog. When quizzed, he confirms that, yes, he's also eaten dog meat.

* In ''[[Animorphs]]'', this is Lampshaded when Rachel comments that a force field they're swimming through generates a sensation 'like chewing on aluminium foil with a mouth full of fillings' and Marco asks her how she'd know what that feels like...

* The book ''Good Morning, Miss Dove'' had a flashback sequence in which the title character, teaching about the habits of a species of bear, mentioned that they liked to eat red ants, which taste like cinnamon. A smart-alecky student asked how the textbook's writer '''knew''' how they tasted. "Did he taste some? Or did he ask a bear?" (Miss Dove reprimanded her; raising a legitimate question was fine, but the "ask a bear" part was going too far.) In the story's present day, it's revealed that the student later actually ate some red ants as an experiment and found that they '''do''' taste like cinnamon.

* A character in Tom Wolfe's novel ''[[The Bonfire of the Vanities]]'' says that Chinese wine tastes like dead mouse. In this case the phrase probably comes to him because The Dead Mouse is his nickname for his boss.

*** If you don't get out of childhood without knowing what earwax tastes like, you've got issues.

*** So you mean to tell me that you've never scratched the itchy inside of your ear with a fingernail, then forgotten and later licked something off said finger? Lies.

** In part 1 of the film version of ''Deathly Hallows'', Mad-Eye Moody claims that Polyjuice Potion "tastes roughly like goblin piss", and Fred Weasley can't resist making a joke about how Moody knows what goblin piss tastes like.

{{quote|'''Fred:''' [[Crowning Moment of Funny|...Just...trying to diffuse the tension.]]}}

* ''[[Agatha H and The Airship City]]'':

{{quote|But this - this was new low. He looked at the crudely printed label on the bottle in his hand. "Beetle Beer" it proclaimed. Fair enough, he thought, I can believe that.}}

 

 

** Note that even after everyone expresses disgust with the dish, [[Big Eater]] Joey ''still'' eats it and loves it. Afterwards he even sneaks around and finishes up the portions that everybody else abandoned.

{{quote|"What's not to like. Whip cream? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? ''Good''."}}

* ''[[I Love Lucy]]'': Upon tasting watercress, Lucy remarks "Very tasty... if you like buttered grass."

* Bear Grylls of ''[[Man vs. Wild]]'' once compared drinking from a natural watering hole to "a bit like drinking from the loo bowl".

*** "...and occasionally, you get a subtle one, that makes you go 'Urk! Ack! Hmm, that's quite all right!'"

* Original flavor ''NyQuil'': Let [[Denis Leary]] explain:

* Nick Swardson said, at one point, that he wants to be very difficult when he's an old man, and as an example said that he would complain about restaurant food, specifically, sending it back while complaining that it tastes like "wolf pussy."

 

** In ''[[Dragon Age 2]]'''s ''Mark of the Assassin'' DLC, an elven servant offers Hawke and Tallis ham that "tastes of despair"; another party guest can be heard commenting on its unique flavor later on.

* A background conversation in ''[[Mass Effect 2]]'' has Engineer Daniels complain to Engineer Donnelly that "all haggis tastes like ass", to which Donnelly replies "Aye, but in the right hands, it can taste like mighty fine arse."

{{quote|'''Crewman Hawthorne''': Rupert! There's something different with tonight's meal! Seems like you put in more food and less ass.

'''Mess Sargent Rupert Gardner''' [sarcastically]: Yeah, yeah, keep talkin'. }}

{{quote|'''Three Sheets Dutong:''' I hate that restorative potion! Ugh! That stuff tastes like vomit baked in a glaze of goat hair and garnished with a sprinkling of horse dung.}}

* ''[[The Sims]] Medieval'' has a moodlet "Tasteless Treat: That tasted like sheep hooves, only worse!"

* In ''The Secret Armory of General Knoxx'' DLC of ''[[Borderlands]]'', the titular General Knoxx describes [[Death World|Pandora]] as smelling like "Hemorrhoids wrapped in bacon".

 

"It ''is'' mud." }}

* In one [[Bad Future]] episode of ''[[Conan the Adventurer (animation)|Conan the Adventurer]]'', the titular barbarian hero has to drink an antivenom potion that he disgustedly proclaims to taste like "fermented camel spit". Considering one of the ingredients is venom from the serpent demon-god he's fighting, the taste is probably somewhat justified.

* Noodle of [[Gorillaz]] declared in the [https://web.archive.org/web/20130906225106/http://www.gorillaz-unofficial.com/media_archive/Gorillaz-Unofficial%20Radio%201%20webchat.htm Radio 1 webchat] that Murdoc smells "like halitosis on toast". More recently, 2D declared that Murdoc's singing sounds "like someone treading on a duck".

* In an episode of ''[[Robot Chicken]]'', Emperor Palpatine speculates that Darth Vader, after flying around in his TIE fighter for a week, "must smell like feet wrapped in leathery burnt bacon!"

* From the ''[[Regular Show]]'' episode "A Bunch of Baby Ducks":

{{quote|'''Rigby:''' "It tastes like how Muscle Man smells!"}}

* ''[[Spliced]]'': Entrée, who was a giant at the time, says "He tastes like feet" after he attempts to eat Two-legs Joe.

 

 

*** That's Dave as in [[Cheech and Chong|he who is not here, man]]... it's flavored with hemp oil.

* Since [http://www.marmite.com/ Marmite] is made from yeast, and since athlete's foot is a fungal infection, it's ''just'' within credibility for those who dislike Marmite to claim it tastes like unpleasant feet...

*** Bread smells fine. Homemade beer on the other hand, will knock you to your ever lovin' knees.

*** Unless your local homebrewer is putting some weird-ass flavors in there, or has some kind of philosophical issue with proper sanitation, you've been drinking [[A Tankard of Moose Urine|bad beer.]]

* European travel guru Rick Steves reports in his guidebooks that he once went cheese shopping with a Frenchman who "took an orgasmic whiff, and exclaimed, 'Ahh... it smells like zee feet of angels!"

* Limburger cheese almost literally smells like feet. And since taste and smell are highly interrelated...

** The smell is close enough that limburger will attract several kinds of mosquitoes - the species that specialize in feet and ankles.

* Animal feet are edible. [[Foreign Queasine|Chicken feet]] is a common Chinese dim sum dish. When Sonia Sotomayor was nominated for the Supreme Court of the United States, some mention was made in the media that [http://www.ricanrecipes.com/recipes/detail.php?id=67 Puerto Rican-style pigs' feet with chickpeas] was [http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/05/conservative-whispers-to-hill-reporter-concern-about-the-impact-diet-will-have-on-her-jurisprude.php one of her favorite dishes].

* Cool Blue Gatorade. Even the people who make it can only describe it as "Blue".

** This is true to the point that many people in the US military no longer refer to flavors, simply colors.

* For thousands of years, before the advent of chemical assays, physicians would diagnose certain ailments (such as diabetes mellitis) by smelling and tasting a patient's sweat, spittle, and/or urine. If a doctor back then were to complain that his beer tastes like pee, he could've meant it literally.

** ''Cho Doufu'', or "stinky tofu" is made by fermenting tofu.

* Sea urchin sashimi (''uni'') has been described as tasting a little like rockpools, presumably in a rotting seaweed-and-brine way.

** Also, the weakest ''baijiu'' is allowed to be is 40% ABV, or 80 proof (standard proof for most Western liquor); ''maotai'' (one of the more renowned forms) often clocks in at 53% (106 proof). Many other forms are 60% (120 proof), and a few forms, such as ''fenjiu'' and ''gaolangjiu''<ref>If you've seen [[Zhang Yimou]]'s first film, ''[[Red Sorghum]]'', this is what they're making at that distillery</ref> can get up to [[Gargle Blaster|63% or 65% (126-170 proof)]], at which point they are literally flammable. When you remember that we actually do use alcohol for fuel... And at banquets, [[Red China|Communist Party]] officials are likely to take several drinks of ''baijiu'', sometimes taken as shots (particularly if a toast is proposed). Suffice it to say that when it comes to drinking, the Chinese do not play games.

* Came up at [http://notalwaysright.com/mmm-moisturizer/856 this entry] of ''[[(The Customer is) Not Always Right]]''.

* In several places on this site, the rather vocal Hatedom of Foster's beer has described it as the urine of various different animals, complete with local variations. The Australians consider it cat piss, while the British think it's horse piss.

** Even Americans familiar with other beers liken it to tasting like piss (We need our own version, though. Dog piss?)

* A less specific real-life example. How many times haven't you heard someone describing something as "tasting like crap"? Most people have probably used a comparison like that themselves at some point.

* Uncoated pills often have a (usually faint) smell that is very similar to wet paper towels; considering the correlation of smell to taste, it's not unusual for someone to claim the pills taste like wet paper towels, especially since they taste stronger than they smell.

{{quote|'''Mallozzi''': What flavor did you try?

'''Binder''': Shoe.}}