Justified (TV series)/Funny: Difference between revisions

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* This excerpt from witness testimony in the pilot on what Boyd yelled before blowing up a black church:
{{quote| '''Deputy Tim Gutterson''': ...two white males drove up in a dark SUV, they parked at that corner by the curb, one male got out with what looked like a bazooka, said a few words, and then fired at the church.<br />
'''Raylan Givens''': What'd he say? This fella that got out of the SUV?<br />
'''Tim''': One said it was "Liars and Hoes", another heard "Time to go"...my favorite's "Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-ho."<br />
'''Raylan''': Great. We should put out an APB on [[Cab Calloway]].<br />
'''Tim''': I think he's dead.<br />
'''Raylan''': Then he should be easy to find. }}
* Episode 1x04, "Long in the Tooth," has a scene in which Raylan and a fugitive (Roland Pike) are under sniper fire. Roland tries to spit out a confession using a long ''[[Rudolph the Red -Nosed Reindeer]]'' analogy, [[It Makes Sense in Context|resulting]] in Raylan asking:
{{quote| '''Raylan''': "Is that it, Rolly, are you trying to tell me you're gay?!"}}
* Episode 1x08, "Blowback", in which a deputy [[US Marshal]] walks into a fried chicken grill:
{{quote| '''Deputy Tim Gutterson''': I'm a deputy U.S. Marshal, ordering you to get me some chicken.<br />
'''Griller''': I shut down the broiler--<br />
'''Gutterson''': What's that? ''*points to a delivery bag*''<br />
'''Griller''': That's the last order for delivery--<br />
'''Gutterson''': I'll take it.<br />
'''Griller''': Like HELL you will--<br />
'''Gutterson''': I'm officially requisitioning this chicken. If this ''*slaps down some cash*'' doesn't pay for it, send an invoice to the courthouse.<br />
'''Griller''': But... what do I tell the customer?<br />
'''Gutterson''': You tell 'em the U.S. Marshal service is grateful for their patriotism. ''*walks out*'' }}
* How about this gem from Episode 1x06 "the Collection"? When Raylan is offered to see an art collector's collection of [[Exactly What It Says Onon the Tin|"Hitler paintings"]] he responds with:
{{quote| '''Raylan Givens''': [[Deadpan Snarker|I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.]]}}
** Then there's what happens to the paintings...
* [[Butt Monkey|Dewey Crowe]] is responsible for a lot of these. From 1x11, "Veterans":
{{quote| '''Dewey''': You might strike out the shepherd, but us sheep, we will never get struck out. Or scattered.<br />
'''Raylan''': Or words to that effect. }}
* {{spoiler|During the shootout in 1x13, "Bulletville":}}
{{quote| [[spoiler:'''Raylan''': I'm Raylan Givens!<br />
'''Boyd''': [[I Am Spartacus|No, I'm Raylan Givens]]!<br />
'''Raylan''': You trying to be funny?<br />
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* The scene at the end of "Long in the Tooth" where Rachel tries on Raylan's hat in the car. This troper giggled all through it.
** Also when Rachel and Raylan have their first long chat in the car:
{{quote| '''Raylan''': I know was probably hard for you to get where you are in the Marshall service.<br />
'''Rachel''': Why? Because I'm female? Because I'm black?<br />
'''Raylan''': [[Refuge in Audacity|No, because you're an idiot.]]<br />
'''Rachel''': ''(astonished and somewhat amused look)'' }}
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* 2x06, "Blaze of Glory," provides us a fantastic chase scene, in which {{spoiler|Art--with his bad knee--is chasing after the villain of the week, who happens to be an old man dying of emphysema, both of them struggling to move at more than a snail's pace in trying to get to an airplane. The topper to this is that the villain took himself off his oxygen, and Art's chasing him with the tank in tow so that the guy doesn't die.}}
** From the same episode: Raylan is staring down a bankrobber who has what he (the bankrobber) thinks is dynamite strapped to his chest:
{{quote| Raylan: Do you know where I'm from, asshole?<br />
Robber: No, where?<br />
Raylan: Harlan County.<br />
Robber: So?<br />
Raylan punches the guy in the face<br />
Raylan: {{spoiler|Down there we know the difference between dynamite and road flares}} }}
* 2x11, "Full Commitment." Tim is assigned to be a very reluctant Raylan's bodyguard. It goes less than smooth.
{{quote| '''Raylan''': I gotta talk to some people, alone. So either you let me go, or I'm gonna have to give you the slip.<br />
'''Tim''': I love this shit. This shit gets me hard.<br />
'''Raylan''': ...Well, then, we've both been warned. }}
* 3x3, "Harlan Roulette": The scene listed on the Main Page of this trope under Mutual Kill. It doesn't sound funny, but it's absolutely hilarious, watching what ought to be a great success for Raylan (and a relatively small one for Glenn Fogle) fall apart due to Fogle's dimwitted henchman. I guess you just had to be there . . .
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** The second time, Raylan actually sees the guard getting up through his rear view mirror and rolls his eyes before putting the car in reverse.
** [[Word of God|In an interview]] the executive producer explained the thought process when creating the scene
{{quote| '''Graham Yost''': Hitting a guy once with a car? That's okay. Twice? That's funny.}}
* While grilling Limehouse, Rachel mentions she was born in Tennessee, which piques Raylan's interest and the two of them go off on a tangent that makes Limehouse roll his eyes and suspect that the two are more than [[Just Friends]]. Even funnier, just before they leave, Limehouse makes a thinly veiled pass at Rachel and the look on her and Raylan's faces is hysterical.
* Also from "The Devil You Know":
{{quote| '''Boyd''': I sense a disturbance in the force.<br />
''In walks Raylan.'' }}
* Pretty much everything poor Dewey Crowe goes through during "Thick as Mud." Some selected quotes during his hold-up rampage:
{{quote| '''Dewey''': (''after sticking up an appliance store to discover that [[No -Paper Future|everybody uses credit cards now]]'') I need cash! (''grabs clerk'') Where do people use '''''cash'''''?!<br />
''Dewey's next scene''<br />
'''Dewey''': (''taking a small wad of 1s from a stripper'') Oh, Jesus, not again! Don't tell me guys pay ''you'' by credit card! I saw some girl say on TV she can make three thousand bucks in ''one night'' on the pole! Now granted, she was a 9.5 and you're a 6 if I'm feeling generous but you'd be good for a grand or so!<br />
'''Stripper''': It's ten o'clock in the morning, and Lexington ain't hardly Vegas! }}
:: Then there's everything that happens in the convenience store, where he learns [[Beware the Nice Ones|not to stick up or blaspheme in the house of a pious man]].:
{{quote| '''Clerk''': I'm not sure I like your attitude.<br />
'''Dewey''': Well, I'm sure I don't give a good goddamn either way!<br />
'''Clerk''': Son, I'll ask you not to blaspheme in here.<br />
'''Dewey''': Listen, you old shit, I need to find this address! Now, you gonna help me or not?!<br />
'''Clerk''': Well, let's say not and leave it at that.<br />
'''Dewey''': Oh, you wanna leave it like that, huh? (''aims pistol at the clerk'') '''You see what happens, dumb-ass?!''' I was just gonna get the directions and be on my way! Can't imagine you got much in this dump worth taking but whatever you got you can give over just for pissing me off!<br />
(''[[Beat]], as the clerk just eyes Dewey, still smiling'')<br />
'''Dewey''': Jesus Christ, are you deaf or somethin'?<br />
'''Clerk''': Son, you've cursed His name twice, and there's not gonna be [[Rule of Three|a third time]].<br />
'''Dewey''': ...got to be about the stupidest GOD--(''shotgunn'd'') }}
:: Of course, this being Dewey, he manages to survive, and continue bringing the funny. When Raylan catches up with him...:
{{quote| '''Raylan''': What the hell you talking about?<br />
'''Dewey''': It's best you not blaspheme in here, Raylan. Apparently the owner takes that real serious! }}
** And this little gem, when he's asked to take a piss, to check if his kidneys are still there.
{{quote| '''Dewey''': Holy shit...[[You Fail Biology Forever|you mean I got four kidneys!?]]}}
** Also, Raylan's terrible "Lawrence Nightingale" pun and the ensuing explanation of the joke. Rachel's expression doesn't even change.
* Upon having to deal with the FBI, Art releases this little gem: "There must be some kind of Dick Test that all FBI agents have to pass."
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* A thug pulls a knife on Raylan, who then flashes his gun and groans: [[Deadpan Snarker|"Shit. I forgot my knife."]]
* Rachel demands to see some drug dealers to ask about Dickie Bennett and one of the enforcers, a typical idiot misogynistic racist, won't let her pass and then makes the mistake of touching her shoulder.
{{quote| '''Rachel''': ''(stares at him)'' [[Tranquil Fury|You touched me.]]<br />
'''Thug''': ''(smiles)'' Would you like me to do it again?<br />
'''Rachel''': ''([[Groin Attack|kicks him in the nuts]] and calmly walks past him)'' }}
* Pretty much everything the perky bartender girl says to Raylan in "Loose Ends", "Guy Walks Into a Bar", and "Measures."
* In "Measures" Raylan and Art speculate if God is laughing at them.
{{quote| '''Art''': Why? Because we shot the guy looking to kill the guy you wish were dead?}}
* In "Measures" Art shoots a thug in the leg and then realizes how much paperwork he has to fill out as a result. He gains a new appreciation of what Raylan has to go through on a regular basis.
* In "Slaughterhouse," seeing the normally calm and collected Duffy lose his cool when Raylan played Russian Roulette with him. A screaming, panic-stricken Duffy is comedy gold.
* In a very serious case of [[Crosses the Line Twice]] in the season 3 finale, Raylan tells Winona that the cops said {{spoiler|Limehouse "disarmed" Quarles during the gun fight. It's such a lame pun that references a horrifically violent scene that you can't help but find it funny.}}
** Quarles, who at this point has gone ''totally'' off the deep end, laughing at the hiding place of the money. Stuffed inside a pig.
{{quote| '''Quarles:'''Oh shit!It's a piggy bank!}}
* In "Watching the Detectives," the cop's awestruck reaction to Raylan's "next one's coming a little faster" recap: "Deputy, that just might be the coolest thing I've ever laid ears on."
 
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[[Category:Live Action TV/Funny]]
[[Category:Justified]]
[[Category:Funny]]