Marissa Picard: Difference between revisions

With that being said, our story begins.

 

 

They managed to singlehandedly defeat Cardassian Gul Dukat trying to invade Earth (with exactly one ship), humiliating him by [[Zorro Mark|burning "I was beaten by a bunch of kids" on the hull of his disabled invasion fleet]]. Picard & company bring Tasha and Sela back after swinging by [[Star Trek: The Original Series|The Original Series]], and that's the end.

''And'' she was placed in charge of Starfleet by the time she was twenty-one. ''And'' won the <s>Kentucky Derby</s> Triple Crown. ''And'' was instrumental in finally bringing Picard and Doctor Crusher together. ''And''... well, Marrissa doesn't like overly long titles.

 

 

Absolutely no relation to [[It's My Life|Marrissa Roberts.]] <ref>Actually, [[Word of God]] is that there ''is'' a relation.</ref>

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* [[Adults Are Useless]]: Although, technically, anybody not named Marrissa is useless. People over the age of twenty-one might as well be marooned on ice-floes. Or simply euthanized, like in the novel version of ''[[Logan's Run]]''.

* [[Babies Ever After]]: After a hefty dose of [[Pair the Spares]], everyone (including Marissa and Dr. Crusher) gets busy cranking out as many offspring as they can.

* [[Captain Obvious]]: In chapter four of "Enterprized", it's stated repeatedly that two members of the landing party with the same last name as Marrissa (spelled wrong, but hey) have been killed and Picard even tells Riker he'll be the one to tell Marrissa the news. Apparently, Ratliff thought the subtext wasn't obvious enough, so he ends the chapter with an author's note helpfully explaining that "Lt. and Ensign Floras" were Marrissa's parents. And no, it's not explained which was her father and which was her mother.<ref>Though, given the number of babies women seem to crank out in the Ratliffverse, and the greater downtime that maternity leave normally engenders when compared to paternity leave, we can probably guess.</ref>

* [[Celebrity Paradox]]: Averted. In "Time Speeder", we find out that all records of the ''[[Star Trek]]'' franchise were classified as Top Secret once "reality" started following "fiction".

* [[Completely Missing the Point]]: [[As You Know]], [[Unwinnable Training Simulation|the Kobayashi Maru]] exam was a [[Secret Test of Character]] to force cadets to learn how to deal with failure. How long they survive is thus completely, utterly meaningless. In ''these'' stories, Marrissa and other Kids' Crew members trade their [[Endless Game|survival times]] in the exam with each other like it's their [[Power Level]].

* [[Crossover]]: One short involves Marrissa and friends playing [[Sailor Moon|Sailor Scouts]] in a Holodeck simulation. Wesley is Tuxedo Mask. [[Squick|Remember, in these stories he's her stepbrother.]]

* [[The Danza]]: the name "Flores" was simply the last name of the actress originally portraying the character in the ''[[Star Trek]]:[[The Next Generation]]'' episode "Disaster," presumably since it was a one-time appearance and so there was no need to invent a fully-fictitious name. (Little did they know....)

* [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|Does This Remind You Of Anything]]/[[Significant Anagram]]: The Naklab system, with M-class planets Nevolsia, Troac, Sobnia, and Bresa. Troac and Bresa are fighting over Sobnia. Marrissa, aged fourteen, negotiates a system-wide 'tready' by locking the ambassadors into the conference room and refusing to let them out until they behave.

** There's also a rather pathetic enemy race called the Trakce, who seem to exist solely so that Ratliff can take thinly-veiled potshots at somebody named Eckart.

* [[Forgotten Phlebotinum]]: In "A Gul's Revenge", and again in "A Battle for Bajor", a Cardassian ship fires torpedoes at Marrissa's ship. She grabs the torpedoes with her ship's tractor beams and ''hurls them back at the Cardassian ship'', disabling it. Needless to say, the Cardassians never adapt to this game-changing tactic, and no other Starfleet captains ever use it.

* [[Hate Fic]]/[[Dark Fic]]: Ratliff's stories have inspired a few full-fledged Hate Fics, including one written by [[Adam Cadre]] where Marrissa embraces the role of the [[Eldritch Abomination]] "[[Fan Nickname|Manat]]". (See also: [[Offing the Offspring]], [[I'm a Humanitarian]].)

* [[Improbable Age]]

* [[In the Past Everyone Will Be Famous]]: Yes, Marrissa gets to meet [[Bill Clinton]] and Prince William...

* [[Mandatory Motherhood]]: At least half of the saga is devoted to domestic [[Soap Opera]], in which Ratliff, with all the dedicated enthusiasm of a [[The Fifties|50's]] women's magazine writer, sets about pairing up his characters and starts them popping out kids ''just'' as soon as they finish puberty themselves.

* [[Meaningful Name]]: Guess what happens to Ensign Throwaway?

* [[No Celebrities Were Harmed]]: Averted in "Time Speeder," in which Wesley Crusher courts Chelsea Clinton. Chelsea then becomes the first captain of NASA's first manned interstellar mission, falls through a wormhole and arrives in the 24th century, where she and Wes marry. After she purchases a suitable wardrobe, of course. She shows up later as a Starfleet captain, new daughter in arms, joking that "Wes" doesn't like her spending so much time on the bridge now that she's a mom. Not making ''any'' of this up, folks.

* [[Old Shame]]: Ratliff has since admitted he regrets writing "Time Speeder". Unfortunately, he chose to try to revise it rather than totally erasing it from existence.

* [[Out of Character]]: Oh boy howdy yes. Does Picard of the source material look like the kind of fella who would adopt? Also, does Riker strike you as the type who would constantly let himself be pwned by a twelve-year-old? Would Worf really be that concerned about ensuring 'Alex' gets his 'Uncle Kurn' a birthday present?

** Last but not least, did the original shy, timid Marissa Flores ''herself,'' seem ''anything'' like Ratliff's [[Mary Sue]] bastardized homunculus of her? Are we supposed to believe that one incident of coping with a difficult and dangerous situation would turn her into a teenage superhero, rather than simply landing her in trauma-therapy?

* [[Pair the Spares]]: Picard marries Dr. Crusher. Marissa marries Jay Gordon. Alex Rozhenko (Worf's son) marries Clara Sutter. Wesley marries ''Chelsea Clinton.''

* [[The Pope]]: In "A Royal Mess, Part 2", The Pontiff shows up in his own starship and blasts some Romulans. He later makes a few other appearances along the same lines.

* [[Red Shirt]]: Ensign Throwaway, in both Ratliff's original draft of ''Enterprized!'' and his later rewrite.

* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: Abandon hope, all ye grammar nerds who venture in here. Ratliff's defensive disclaimer -- 'All spelling errors are to be ingored' -- has reached near-[[Memetic Mutation]] status in certain circles.

** Ratliff did eventually get a spelling checker, but there's a big difference between a spelling checker and a grammar checker. More than once, a character answered yes by saying "of coarse."

* [[Sdrawkcab Name]]: The ''Naklab'' system. And the Trakce race.

 

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