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{{quote|'''Leo:''' This is the most important thing I'll ever do, Jenny. I have to do it well.
'''Jenny:''' It's not more important than your marriage.
'''Leo:''' It is more important than my marriage, right now. These few years while I'm doing this, yes, it's more important than my marriage.
|''[[The West Wing]]''}}
When a character's devotion to their career is such that it begins to seriously affect their ability to hold any kind of relationship outside of it. Perhaps they're spending too many hours at the office and not enough with the wife and kids, perhaps they've scheduled a business meeting at the same time as little Sally's birthday party or Tommy's athletics day, or perhaps their work is leading them into some very dark or dangerous situations. Either way, their spouse or partner isn't very happy with them, and is quick to let them know it.
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This trope is of the key reasons why [[Everybody Is Single]], why many characters find it difficult to make a relationship last [[Girl of the Week|longer than a week]], and [[Dysfunction Junction|is one of the key causes of TV Divorce]]. As such, it's a major source of angst and relationship tension.
In some cases, this concern is
In other cases, however, the complaining spouse's position is a little less clear-cut and righteous. While they might have a point about their loved one's spending too much time at work having a negative impact on their marriage / relationship, the fact is that some careers genuinely ''are'' demanding and their partner really does need to put in all that time at work in order to effectively do their job. In some jobs - medicine, for example, or the police - people really ''do'' need to work long hours, be on call 24-7, and / or expose themselves to dangerous situations, and lives genuinely ''can'' be lost if they aren't attentive to their work to a high degree, even if this means neglecting their relationships or families. In these situations (whether the writer intended it or not), the complaining spouse may come across as selfish, whiny and unfairly demanding, especially if it should have been obvious from the outset of the relationship that their loved one's job was going to demand a large portion of their time.
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See also [[Salaryman]], [[Workaholic]] and [[When You Coming Home, Dad?]] Contrast the [[Crusading Widower]], who loses his family through more violent means.
{{examples}}▼
▲{{examples}}
== Anime and Manga ==
* ''[[Godannar]]'': Both Goh Saruwatari and his "wife" Anna Aoi. His mother-in-law, Dr. Kiriko Aoi (Anna's mother), also happens to be his boss.
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** Criminal psychologist Dr. Gillen is another example, as his introductory scene has him explain that his wife left him because he listened more to his 20,000 tapes of observations on and quotes from criminals than he did to her.
** This is probably meant as an ironic contrast to Johann who manages to balance his job ([[Complete Monster|spreading chaos and convincing Tenma the world deserves it]]) and forming relationships.
* In the ''[[Living Game]]'' manga, Tokiko's husband spends pretty much all of his time at the office or away on business trips, leaving her to complain to the main characters. In fact, his devoted (male) assistant Komada is referred to at one point as a second [https://web.archive.org/web/20100618184806/http://www.onemanga.com/Living_Game/39/17/ 'wife'].
* Lloyd Asplund from ''[[Code Geass]]'' is a [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]] who is wholly dedicated to the construction, maintenance, and development of the [[Humongous Mecha|Z-01 Lancelot]] to the point where he doesn't even acknowledge his fiancée-via-[[Arranged Marriage]] as a romantic interest. He's not a bad guy, just socially clueless and monomaniacal.
** Then again, perhaps he's just [[Asexuality|asexual]] (and/or aromantic). He certainly doesn't seem to be interested in love, and his carefree attitude suggests that it isn't by lack of time. He probably simply doesn't care.
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** Subaru, in the Movie Sound stage, laments not being able to see her family very often due to her job in the [[Emergency Services|rescue team]] almost constantly having her on duty, but Teana reassures her that they're still her family, noting Fate as being close to her family in spite of where her job takes her.
** Fate's adoptive brother, Chrono, being an Admiral who commands a ship like his mother once did, is noted in the Sound Stages as being away from his children fairly often.
* Sosuke's dad (''[[Ponyo
* Hibari of ''[[Katekyo Hitman Reborn]]''.
* [[Captain Tsubasa]], he's so married to football that boy-and-girl relationship is the rarest element to be found around him, considering this a [[Shounen]] genre, it's not very strange. Subverted slightly when he confesses his love to [[Victorious Childhood Friend|Sanae]]. Then he goes to Brazil and married to the job again that his girlfriend has to follow him there love-stuck and almost in tear before they finally get married for real.
* Both Ryo and Asuka of ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh! GX]]'' use the "in love with dueling" line to let down attempted suitors.
== Comic Books ==
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{{quote|Oh Scott! My heart just breaks when I so pale, so shaken! If only I could comfort you with my arms ... my lips ... but I know I mustn't! As our acting leader, you've no time for thoughts of ... romance!}}
* In ''[[Dykes to Watch Out For]]'', Sydney, whilst researching polyamory, has the epiphany that she ''is'' in a polyamorous relationship already- her work is her primary relationship, while Mo is 'the other woman'. This also happens with Clarice and Toni, with Clarice's job as a lawyer almost immediately put a strain on the relationship.
* In ''[[Watchmen]]'', this leads to conflict between Rorschach's psychologist and the psychologist's wife, considering the more [[Squick
* You could say that the [[Superman|Kents]] are both [[Happily Married]] and
::There was a period, however, when Lois broke off the engagement because she couldn't handle being married to Superman, and wasn't sure Superman ''should'' be married when he had a world to protect. She said she tried thinking of it as like being married to a fire-fighter or a policeman ... but even they could take a day off. She came to terms with the situation eventually.
* [[Judge Dredd]] has no life whatsoever outside of his responsibilities and duties as a Judge. Even when other Judges may recognize a perp or victim as a celebrity personality from a vidshow, Dredd will not, nor would he care. Dredd is [[Celibate Hero|celibate]] and doesn't even celebrate his own
== Film ==
* In ''[[
* Nicholas Angel of ''[[Hot Fuzz]]'' has this as his defining trait.
* ''[[Die Hard]]''. The stereotype of the 'workaholic cop and frustrated wife' was curiously inverted, however, as at the beginning of the first movie police officer John McClane's complaint was that the devotion his ''wife'' had to her job was killing their marriage.
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* In ''[[Heat]]'', both the detective and the criminal are completely focused on their careers on their respective sides of the law to the almost complete exclusion to anything else. For the detective, this means he's burned through two marriages and is currently on the downward slope of a third; for the criminal, this means that he has absolutely nothing even resembling a personal life.
* Walter and Hildy are both married to their newspaper jobs in ''[[His Girl Friday]],'' though Hildy is trying to get out of it. Walter sets her up with one last story in an attempt to get her to come back to the paper.
== Literature ==
* ''[[Discworld]]'':
*
** Also [[Inverted Trope|inverted]] in the same book, when Sybil accidentally discovers the location of a secret room in the embassy while measuring the floors for carpets:
{{quote|'''Sam:''' I don't want to sound impatient, dear, but [[This Is No Time for Knitting|is this a carpet moment?]]
'''Sybil:''' Just stop thinking like a husband and start listening like a copper, will you? }}
** Vimes does his best to defy this trope in ''[[
* ''[[Kurt Wallander]]'': Kurt is divorced and has only an on-off relationship with his Latvian girlfriend.
* In the ''[[Temeraire]]'' series, most aviators are married to the job, if only because the bond they share with their dragons means that any spouse would play second fiddle (to say nothing of having to live near a dragon covert and seeing them less than possibly even a Navy man). There's no prohibition against it, but wise aviators won't subject anyone to it.
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* Marcia Overstrand in ''[[Septimus Heap]]'' is this, having virtually no life outside of her work as the ExtraOrdinary Wizard.
▲== Live Action TV ==
* Liz Lemon in ''[[30 Rock|Thirty Rock]]''.
* Captain Kirk in ''[[Star Trek]]'' is often said to be "married" to the Enterprise.
{{quote|Harry Mudd: You'll find out that ship's captains are already married, girl, to their vessels.}}
:* But that {{spoiler|doesn't stop him [[Star Trek III: The Search For Spock|from destroying it]] in order to [[Papa Wolf|avenge the death of his actual son]].}}
{{quote|Shatner: Alas, my ship, whom I love like a woman, is damaged.}}
* In the first season of ''[[24
** And in season 7, President Taylor put her duty to her country over her family and {{spoiler|sent her daughter to prison for ordering a hit on Jonas Hodges}}, which was a direct cause of {{spoiler|her subsequent divorce from her husband}}.
* Leo McGarry's divorce in ''[[The West Wing]]'' was a direct result of this trope, as demonstrated in the page quote, and it's implied that Toby Ziegler's marriage ended because of his duties in the White House as well. It's also suggested, however, the devotion required and long hours spent working at the White House took their toll on ''all'' the characters and their relationships to some degree, as almost all of them barring the President and the First Lady were either single or divorced
** Something of a [[Truth in Television]], with one possibly significant note; many observers have noted that in [[Real Life]] few of the people who hold the positions in the White House that the characters hold remain in them for as ''long'' as the characters hold them, with one of the reasons being this trope; working at the White House for so long tends to result in burn-out.
* In ''[[Numb3rs]]'', this seems to be true for just about everyone. David Sinclair and Colby Granger seem to consider this a badge of honor, or at least an excuse why they aren't in relationships, and Nikki is insulted when they imply she isn't her married to her job.
* Hugh Abbot on ''[[The Thick of It]]'' doesn't see his family much. Considering what his only distraction is, one supposes he really doesn't do much beside work. He's not happy about it.
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'''Provenza''': When why my first wife and I divorced, I agreed to split my pension with her from the day I retire. I'll be damned if she gets a nickel.
'''Pope''': That...I understand. }}
* On ''[[
* ''[[Law
** When Olivia Benson was asked if she was a lesbian (her answer, "No", made plenty of Alex/Olivia shippers pissed), Elliot teases her that it would explain why she has had such rotten luck with men. Her reply is this trope, word for word.
** Also, in her first episode with Casey Novak, she explains that being married to the job, particularly their job, screws with ''everyone'''s love lives, and then proceeds to list them.
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* On ''[[Glee]]'', Terri views Will is this, though her point (and her sanity) are arguable.
* Holmes in ''[[Sherlock]])'' explains to Watson that that's what he is (having misinterpreted Watson's line of questioning somewhat).
* Victor Henry is
* The usual gender roles of this trope are switched in ''[[No Ordinary Family]]'', in which it's the mother who is a job-fixated [[Workaholic]] who is never around and the father who's a bit pissed about it. Although during an argument, the mother does rather bitterly point out that working for eighty hours a week to support her family wasn't exactly how she imagined living her life either.
* Syd, Jamie's betrothed on [[Blue Bloods]] breaks up with him because he is too dedicated to being a cop and he is unwilling/unable to talk to her about what he does.
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{{quote|'''John Henry Giles:''' "I know that look. I know that empty ring finger. You don't save someone who doesn't want to be saved unless you have something... anything. One thing. The reason other people have wives and families is that they don't have that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I've got my music; you've got... this."}}
* Captain Blackadder from ''[[Blackadder Goes Forth]]''. He's married to the army. The book of King's regulations is his Mistress. Possibly with the Harrods lingerie catalogue discreetly tucked between the pages.
* Detective Beckett on ''[[Castle]]'' gets obsessive about her job, although she does find time for a life outside of it. This becomes a form of [[Character Development]] thanks to the fact that earlier seasons see her frequently depicted as intensely focussed on her job (although less-than-pleased about it) and later seasons see her come out of her shell a bit more. It's hinted that it's a result of hanging around with Castle.
* The titular character of ''[[Bones]]''.
* Kate from ''[[Fairly Legal]]'', whose devotion to her work partially caused the break-up of her marriage.
* Dr. Jacqueline Wade on ''[[St. Elsewhere]]'' has her eleven-year marriage to husband Robert end because of this trope.
* Cmdr. Ed Straker from ''[[UFO]]'' destroyed his marriage over building and maintaining SHADO.
* [[The X-Files]] is this trope. Mulder is obsessed with his work, so much so that he can't even fathom a relationship or even many friendships outside of it. His one goal in life is to expose the Truth and find out what happened to his sister. Scully starts off with somewhat of a personal life and even goes on a date in the first season, but eventually becomes just as entangled in the work as Mulder. This ''is'' somewhat of a [[Justified Trope]], however. The [[Myth Arc]] cases aren't something that can easily be left in the office each night, and the line between work and personal life is obliterated. Especially when Mulder and Scully start getting abducted, their apartments are bugged, and are almost murdered several times in their own homes. Scully once acknowledges this self-destructive lifestyle in season six, asking Mulder if he ever just wanted to "get out of the damn car and live something approaching a normal life?" Mulder's reply? "This is a normal life." Also, work/personal life get even more entangled when {{spoiler|their son becomes the first gested human/alien hybrid, and thus all of the [[Big Bad]] villians from their work would like to kidnap him and/or kill him.}}
== [[Newspaper
* In ''[[Beetle Bailey]]'', Sarge has been "married" to the Army his entire life, so much that he hates wearing civvies and ends up a [[Rummage Sale Reject]] when he has to. He tends to falter a lot around Sergeant Lugg, who has a major crush on him.
== Theatre ==
* In ''[[Rent]]'' Roger claims that Mark has deliberately married his job, and Mark...doesn't really deny it. He does offer a defense, though: [[Survivor Guilt]], stemming from being one of the few of his circle of friends without HIV/AIDS. From the song "Goodbye, Love":
{{quote|'''Roger:''' "Mark has got his work." They say Mark lives for his work, and Mark's in love with his work. Mark ''hides'' in his work.
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'''Mark:''' Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive. }}
* In ''[[Lady in the Dark]]'', Charley accuses Liza of being married to her desk.
* In ''[[Kevin and Kell]]'', a feline friend of Kell's, Aby, is literally married to her job. They had a wedding and everything.▼
** The 'marriage' is complete with an anniversary gift (a new sign for her shop) and concern that she might be cheating on it (by making supplemental income on [[Second Life|Ninth Life]]). (And apparently franchises are their equivalent of children)▼
* Todo in ''[[City of Reality]]'', as AV discovered during an attempted date.▼
* Mordecai Heller from ''[[Lackadaisy Cats]]''.▼
* [[Dragon with an Agenda|Redcloak]], from ''[[The Order of the Stick]]''. When his {{spoiler|little brother sets him up on a blind date, Redcloak, despite being pretty obviously interested, bails at the last second to go recruit for The Plan}}.▼
* Invoked but subverted in ''[[Narbonic]]''. When Zeta realises Artie is attracted to ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST! (before Artie himself has even realised he's gay) she tells him "It'll never work, honey, he's married to grammar" before adding as an afterthought "And actually married."▼
== Video Games ==
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{{quote|'''Carl''': ''(pumps shotgun)'' [[Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner|You will NOT bring down]] [[Serious Business|MY POSTAL SERVICE!]]}}
* Knuckles from ''[[Sonic the Hedgehog (video game)|Sonic the Hedgehog]]'' has complained about his boring life guarding the Master Emerald, but he takes his duty extremely seriously.
* Aveline from ''[[Dragon Age II]]''
* Sonya Blade in the ''[[Mortal Kombat]]'' series. This is why her marriage to Johnny Cage didn't work out, why she hasn't been much of a mother to Cassie, and for that matter, why most players were pretty shocked upon playing ''[[Mortal Kombat X]]'' for the first time that she ever married and had a daughter to begin with!
== Web Comics ==
▲* In ''[[Kevin and Kell]]'', a feline friend of Kell's, Aby, is literally married to her job. They had a wedding and everything.
▲** The 'marriage' is complete with an anniversary gift (a new sign for her shop) and concern that she might be cheating on it (by making supplemental income on [[Second Life|Ninth Life]]). (And apparently franchises are their equivalent of children)
▲* Todo in ''[[City of Reality]]'', as AV discovered during an attempted date.
▲* Mordecai Heller from ''[[Lackadaisy Cats]]''.
▲* [[Dragon with an Agenda|Redcloak]], from ''[[The Order of the Stick]]''. When his {{spoiler|little brother sets him up on a blind date, Redcloak, despite being pretty obviously interested, bails at the last second to go recruit for The Plan}}.
▲* Invoked but subverted in ''[[Narbonic]]''. When Zeta realises Artie is attracted to ANTONIO SMITH, FORENSIC LINGUIST! (before Artie himself has even realised he's gay) she tells him "It'll never work, honey, he's married to grammar" before adding as an afterthought "And actually married."
== Western Animation ==
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* [[Buzz Lightyear of Star Command|Buzz Lightyear's]] first and greatest love will always be to Star Command and the fight against evil.
* On ''[[Batman: The Brave And The Bold|Batman the Brave And The Bold]],'' [[An Ice Person|Ice]] expresses a crush for [[Aquaman]], only for [[Playing with Fire|Fire]] to point out that he's married. For [[Cloudcuckoolander|some reason]], Ice interprets her to mean this trope. (Though to be fair, his [[Day in The Limelight]] episode implies that that's sort of true too.)
== Real Life ==
* As shown by this [https://web.archive.org/web/20090511153238/http://www.brandonsanderson.com/blog/784/Another-Long-Winded-Explanation-of-Various-Things list] of projects, [[Brandon Sanderson]] definitely counts.
* [[Ozzy Osbourne|Ozzy]] and Sharon Osbourne. Ozzy's ex-manager, Don Arden, happened to be Sharon's dad. Now he was Ozzy's father-in-law too.
* In an unusually literal form of this trope, [[The House of Tudor|Queen Elizabeth I]] declared herself 'married to the kingdom' and never married, laying claim to the moniker 'the Virgin Queen'.
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Love Tropes]]
[[Category:Marriage Tropes]]
[[Category:Character Flaw Index]]
[[Category:Just for Pun]]
[[Category:
▲[[Category:Married to the Job]]
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