Misery Poker: Difference between revisions

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In many stories - [[Truth in Television|and often in real life too]] - there's only so much sympathy to go around. So if you arrive to your workplace bemoaning the frankly humiliating first meeting with your in-laws, or the parking ticket you got as a result of an over-talkative cashier and a downright malevolent traffic warden, better take a note of the gripes of your co-workers before you launch into that pent-up tirade. Chances are that if someone has an angst that "trumps" yours, your worries - no matter how valid - become instantly trivial. And the rest of the episode will probably be devoted to you "getting over" yourself in order to be there for your pal. Even you yourself will eventually give a monologue on the importance of not dwelling on your worries because there are people worse off than yourself, and you should count your blessings.

There is a certain validity to this way of thinking; it's usually better to be positive after all. However, human nature being what it is, we're allowed to feel sad or grumpy from time to time without being criminalized for it. Occasionally, a show or book will acknowledge this and subvert this trope, revealing that the character who was being told off for being such a drama queen by friends with "bigger issues" is actually in pretty serious trouble.

On the other extreme, this can be used for comedy...such as a character loudly complaining about their lives while someone in the background is chased by enraged rhinos. In such cases, it's clear that the viewer is supposed to see their worries as trivial, and usually we will - unless [[Fridge Logic]] kicks in.

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Sometimes this is a pretty logical trope - a parking ticket isn't nice, but a bereavement is on a totally different level of grief altogether. At other times, though, the viewer might note that the character with the "lesser" gripe has every right to be downhearted - for example, a character whose illness is serious, but not as serious as someone else's - and may accuse the supporting cast of having [[No Sympathy]] when they fail to acknowledge this.

May show up on internet debates, especially as [[Flame War]] fuel. If this happens on your message board, it might be a good idea not to post until it's all over - your will to live will be drained one way or another, either in sympathy or in despair at so much angsting.

Also sometimes known as Misery Dicks (i.e., my misery dick is bigger than yours) and Woe-Offs—as well as Oppression Olympics, when it occurs in debates concerning social justice issues.

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== Literature ==

* One of the main problems Sandry has in the ''[[Circle of Magic]]'' series is getting people to see her as a person, not a noble - the assumption being that her status makes her immune to the woes of the common people. Even her [[True Companions|adopted siblings]] initially regard her with an attitude of "what do you know about suffering? You're rich!" Her upbeat and friendly attitude only serves to aggravate this. However, when she reveals that her [[Parental Abandonment|parents died in a smallpox epidemic]], then she was trapped in a hidden room in pitch darkness while an angry mob killed her last remaining caretaker, people tend to be more sympathetic. It's a hell of a way to make friends, but it works.

* In ''Flour Babies'' by Anne Fine, the protagonist is told at the end of the story that hundreds of children go through the same trauma and worse that he went through...and none of them made as much fuss about it as he did. Possibly a [[Lampshade Hanging]] - the author makes it clear that the teacher's being an unsympathetic [[Jerkass]].

* Referenced and then [[Defied Trope|defied]] in the fourth book of [[Bruce Coville]]'s ''[[My Teacher Is an Alien]]'' book series: When Peter hears Susan say "Boy, I miss my family" (as they're traveling with aliens and can't see their families, and she can only have occasional phone calls with them) he thinks ''"At least you have family to miss"'' (due to him thinking that his father couldn't care less about his disappearance) but keeps silent because he doesn't want to get in a game of "Who's the most miserable".

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== Live Action TV ==

* JD of ''[[Scrubs]]'' is the poster child of this trope. The catalogue of disasters that befall him are listed under [[No Sympathy]]. In the same episode, Dr. Cox objects to being asked for help in dragging J.D. out of his misery, and when Turk, Carla and Elliot point out that J.D. rescued ''him'' from severe depression, he justifies himself with "I accidentally killed three patients...he passes out when he poops!"

** A rather better handled example also came up in the episode that introduced Michael J. Fox's character Dr. Casey - sure, Dr. Cox may not be the best doctor, Turk may never be the best surgeon, and JD may need a bit more mentoring than most people, but Dr. Casey has severe OCD, and he deals with it gracefully.

* This trope was a big part of choosing the winner on ''[[Queen for a Day]]''; the contestant would get on the TV (originally radio) show and talk about how miserable their life was.

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{{quote|'''Monk:''' I'm ''blind''.

'''Homeless Guy:''' I'm homeless.

'''Monk:''' My [[Dead Little Sister|wife]] is ''dead''.

'''Homeless Guy:''' So's mine.

'''Monk:''' Car bomb?

'''Homeless Guy:''' ''Pneumonia''. }}

== Musicals ==

* The 'It Sucks To Be Me' song from [[Avenue Q]] as well as serving as an introduction to most of the cast also has them trying to outdo each other regarding whose life sucks the most. In the end they all agree [[Butt Monkey|Gary Coleman]] outsucks them all.

== Newspaper Comics ==

* Happens often in ''[[For Better or For Worse]]'', especially to April - every time she griped about a not-so-good situation, someone would happen by who was in far worse shape.

* In the [[Dilbert]] book, ''Build A Better Life By Stealing Office Supplies'', Dogbert advises office drones that, if you run late, make sure your excuse trumps the one before you; otherwise, you're the weak link and ripe for discipline.

{{quote|'''Ted:''' Sorry I was late. There was an accident and traffic was backed up for miles.

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** Also, some ''[http://planetb.smackjeeves.com/comics/711204/zanko-for-playing-11/ literal]'' misery poker.

* ''[[Friendly Hostility]]'': Collin trumped Nadine's record of "time not spoken to parents," but was beaten by Leslie Rudd in the "who had the most negligent/abusive" parents stakes. In the last few months of the comic, some Fox vs. Collin Misery Poker went on, particularly amongst the fandom, with Fox's past injuries to Collin being weighed against Collin's increasingly passive-aggressive, taciturn behaviour.

* Davan from ''[[Something Positive]]'' trumps Kestrel from ''[[Queen of Wands]]'' at a game during [http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040510.html one of their crossovers] when [http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp05132004.shtml they compare their jobs].

* Davan from ''[[Something*Positive]]'' trumps Kestrel from ''[[Queen of Wands]]'' at a game during [http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20040510.html one of their crossovers] when [http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp05132004.shtml they compare their jobs].

* A pair of Akril's [[King's Quest]] comic strips feature misery poker. In the first, [http://akril15.deviantart.com/art/The-Most-Troubled-of-Them-All-42351130 Cassima and Rosella are comparing "battle scars;"] but Rosella conceded when Cassima starts talking clean-up detail. In the second, [http://akril15.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=48#/ds9b6w Alexander and Edgar are comparing notes.] Taken from their families at infancy? Check. Almost caused the destruction of their homelands? Check. Went to the underworld and came back? Check.

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[[Category:Sadness Tropes]]

[[Category:~~Misery Poker~~]]

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