Morton's Fork: Difference between revisions

 
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{{trope}}
{{quote|''"The king is [[Parental Incest|having sex with his daughter]], and to keep suitors from marrying her, he asks them to [[Engagement Challenge|solve a riddle]]. If they don't solve it, he kills them. If they do solve it, [[He Knows Too Much|he also kills them, since the answer is 'the king is having sex with his daughter.']]"''|'''Narrator''', "Pericles, Prince of Tired Plots" by [http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/000405.html Francis Heaney]}}
|'''Narrator''', "Pericles, Prince of Tired Plots" by [http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/000405.html Francis Heaney]}}
 
A character is presented two alternatives, A and B. If the character chooses A, then something bad happens. If he or she chooses B, a similar or identical bad thing happens—buthappens — but for a different reason. Either way, they end up run through by '''Morton's Fork'''.
 
The name comes from the tax-collecting practices of John Morton, Archbishop of Canterbury and Lord Chancellor under [[The House of Tudor|Henry VII]]. He reasoned that anyone who was living extravagantly was rich, and so could afford high taxes, while anyone who was living frugally had saved a lot, and so could afford high taxes. Bear in mind before you get ''too'' crazy that this was typically used to keep people well-known to be well-off anyway from trying to weasel their way into not paying; he wasn't exactly trying to collect from peasants in hovels. Instead, he was trying to abolish a then-common excuse for not paying taxes (that is, not having any money to do so).
 
A similar concept, if not the exact same, is associated with the phrase '''"catch-22"''', a reference to a plot point in a [[Catch-22|Joseph Heller book]]. A pilot who wants to leave the military by pleading insanity is told that he should be able to request to do so - but as one would have to be crazy to keep flying, and sane to want to leave, making the request would prove that he is sane, and so the request is denied. A "catch-22" is thus an either/or choice where both choices produce the same (unwanted) outcome.
This is often confused with "Hobson's choice." [[wikipedia:Thomas Hobson|Thomas Hobson]] leased horses, and in order to make sure all got used and exercised, he had customers automatically assigned the one nearest the door rather than let them pick which one they wanted; the customer's "choice" was "Take the horse assigned, or don't get any horse." A Hobson's choice is a false choice because although there are two results, one is so empty [[But Thou Must!|you must take the other]]. A Morton's Fork is a false choice because there is only one result to take.
 
ThisThese is often confused with "Hobson's choice." [[wikipedia:Thomas Hobson|Thomas Hobson]] leased horses, and in order to make sure all of them got used and exercised, he had customers automatically assigned the one nearest the door, rather than let them pick which one they wanted; the customer's "choice" was "Take the horse assigned, or don't get any horse." A Hobson's choice is a false choice because although there are two results for two choices, one result is so emptydevoid of value that [[But Thou Must!|you mustmay as well take the other]]. A Morton's Fork is a false choice because there is only one result tofor takeboth choices.
Compare [[Xanatos Gambit]], where this is weaponized in a specific type of [[Plan]] and often used by [[The Chessmaster]]. See also [[Sadistic Choice]], which similarly forces characters to choose between two untenable choices, except that it's [[Played for Drama]]. Characters often respond by attempting to [[Take a Third Option]], with varying degrees of success. They may instead pick one to [[Get It Over With]]. If they get sick of being cheated, see [[Ballistic Discount]]. If the fork is deliberately placed into a test, this is [[Unwinnable Training Simulation]].
 
Compare [[Xanatos Gambit]], where this is weaponized in a specific type of [[Planplan]] and often used by [[The Chessmaster]]. See also [[Sadistic Choice]], which similarly forces characters to choose between two untenable choices, except that it's [[Played for Drama]]. Characters often respond by attempting to [[Take a Third Option]], with varying degrees of success. They may instead pick one to [[Get It Over With]]. If they get sick of being cheated, see [[Ballistic Discount]]. If the fork is deliberately placed into a test, this is [[Unwinnable Training Simulation]].
{{examples}}
 
{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* Utilized to epic proportions in the manga version of the final battle against Chaos in ''[[Sailor Moon]]'', in which the main character has the choice of either destroying Chaos utterly and the Cauldron with it, thus dooming their galaxy to a slow extinction as no new lives will be created from it or just possibly ''momentarily'' delaying the Ultimate Evil's return resulting in a massive intergalatic war...in which hundreds of billions of people may die anyway but would still end up being reborn because the Cauldron is still there. Guess which option she chooses?
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'''Followers''': He is! He is the Messiah! }}
* In ''[[Mystic River]]'', {{spoiler|Jimmy Markum (Sean Penn) confronts Dave Boyle (Tim Robbins) about the murder of Markum's daughter. Markum is wrongfully convinced that Boyle killed her, so he tells him to, "Admit it and I'll let you live." Boyle confesses to save his life, so Markum kills him.}} In the book this is made a little clearer, and (slightly) justified. {{spoiler|Jimmy needs to know WHY his daughter was killed, and he's demanding an honest answer. When Dave answers, Jimmy can tell that he's lying, and kills him for lying about the reason.}}
 
== Folklore ==
* There is a legend that says one of the Han Emperors of China one day met a Silver Lightning Snake. The snake said, "If you cut my head off, I will destroy you, if you cut my tail off, I will destroy your empire." The emperor cut her in half. From the remains sprang Wang Mang, the guy who split the Han Dynasty in half and was later overthrown by Han Guangwu, who founded the Later Han.
 
== [[Literature]] ==
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* In an episode of ''[[Stargate Atlantis]]'', after everything goes predictably wrong, Rodney is asked what options they have. His response?
{{quote|'''Rodney''': Let me see, we've got quick death, slow death, painful death, cold, lonely death...}}
* In the second episode of ''[[Yes Minister]]'', Sir Humphrey is asked a question that has no correct answer and cannot be ignored - but he brought the situation upon himself by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to a visiting head of government:
{{quote|'''Sir Humphrey:''' Blackmail.
'''Charlie:''' Are you referring to me or my proposal?}}
 
== [[Music]] ==
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If I stay it will be double }}
 
== Mythology[[Newspaper and ReligionComics]] ==
* ''[[Doonesbury]]'' ran a picture of an American flag in response to the proposed anti-flag desecration amendment. Every way of disposing of it would be in violation of the amendment, meaning it had to be kept forever.
* ''[[Bloom County]]''
** In the 2015 reboot, Opus is conscripted into being a Presidential candidate, which he does not want. In the strip [https://www.gocomics.com/bloom-county/2015/09/29 seen here], a government official tells him he can't withdraw his candidacy, except by reason of insanity. When Opus tries that, the guy makes him swear he does not want to be President — which means he's clearly sane, and thus cannot withdraw.
** A similar joke is made in 2019. Milo tells Opus that simply ''running'' for President means the candidate is too nuts to do the job, and ''rejecting'' it means he's sane enough to do it. He calls it a "Presidential Catch-22".
 
== [[Oral Tradition]], [[Folklore]], Myths and Legends ==
* Cuchulain in Irish myth would lose his strength if he refused a meal, or consumed dogflesh. [[Weaksauce Weakness|His enemies learned this and promptly invited him to dine on dogflesh, meaning he'd lose his powers either way.]]
* [[Older Than Feudalism]] example from [[The Bible|the New Testament]]: The Pharisees tried this trick several times to try and turn Jesus' popularity against him. In [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+12:13-17&version=NIV Mark 12:13], they asked whether the Jews should pay the oppressive taxes imposed on them by their Caesar. If he said yes, then he was acknowledging that Caesar ruled over the Jews. If he said no, he was guilty of treason. [[Take a Third Option|He didn't let this trip him up]]. The phrase "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and unto God what is God's" is familiar enough, but the subtext isn't quite obvious: apparently, when the Pharisees showed him the coin with Caesar's image, they must have realised they were dealing with the (obviously, forbidden) image of a false god, and for that reason were ready to stop arguing about matters of impiety.
** Another interpretation is that it was an intentional bit of ambiguous wordplay that can go either way. After all, what ''isn't'' God's?
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20070529214313/http://www.nasruddin.org/ Nasruddin Hodja] acted as a [[Trickster Archetype|Trickster]], especially when people pestered him for a piece of wisdom. Once when he had to preach but wasn't in a mood for this, he talked his way out of it... three times in a row:
{{quote|'''Nasruddin''': O people of Akshahir! Do you know and understand what I am about to say to you?
'''The people''': No, we don't.
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'''The people''': ''(Some shout "No", some "Yes")''
'''Nasruddin''': Wonderful! Now let those who know tell those who do not know. }}
* Buddha met his death this way when he was kindly offered a meal which unknowingly contained bad food. While Buddha knew the food wasn't safe to eat, the people offering it to him didn't. Either Buddha could have gone against his beliefs and refused hospitality, or eaten the food and let his health suffer. He ate the food and died from it, but was fine as it was his time to die.
* The [[w:Kuchisake-onna|Kuchisake-onna]] is a malevolent [[yokai]] mentioned in Japanese urban legends and media. She approaches a typically-male victim appearing as a woman wearing a surgical mask (which is very common in Japan and neighboring countries, even before the [[COVID-19 pandemic]]), and asks the victim if he thinks she is pretty. A “no” causes her to produce a pair of shears and stab him to death - a “yes”, however, causes her to remove her mask, revealing a horrific [[Glasgow Grin]], and then repeat the question. This time, a “no” results in an even more brutal death, possibly by being cut in half, while a “yes” results in her restraining the victim and using the shears to give him a Glasgow Grin like hers - in one version, she lets the victim leave, only for her to come to his house and murder him in his sleep.
 
** This seems like a no-win situation; running away won’t work, as she is a ghost after all. but there are a few ways to [[Take A Third Option]]: giving a neutral answer, like “I’m not sure” (which confuses her and gives you time to escape), telling her you’re busy or late for an appointment ([[Villainous Valor|causing her to let you go]]), or offering or throwing money or [[Sweet Tooth|hard candy]] in her path, which [[Delicious Distraction|she’ll stop to pick up]].
== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==
* Also from Japan, the [[w:Aka Manto|Aka Manto]] a demon that [[The Can Kicked Him|haunts school or public restrooms]].<ref>For Western Tropers who are more familiar with American urban legends, the genre is different in Japan, where villains of unambiguous supernatural origin are far more common.</ref> It offers the victim a choice between red or blue toilet paper; choose red and the demon kills the victim by stabbing (or in one version, flaying) them, while choosing blue results in being strangled. Trying to insult its intelligence by asking for a different color will get the victim [[Dragged Off to Hell]]. There are ways to [[Take A Third Option]] here, too; to survive, one must [[Just Ignore It|ignore the demon]], run from it (possibly because it is [[Ghostly Goals|magically bound to the place it haunts]]), or saying you don’t need any paper.
* ''[[Doonesbury]]'' ran a picture of an American flag in response to the proposed anti-flag desecration amendment. Every way of disposing of it would be in violation of the amendment, meaning it had to be kept forever.
* There is a legend that says one of the Han Emperors of China one day met a Silver Lightning Snake. The snake said, "If you cut my head off, I will destroy you, if you cut my tail off, I will destroy your empire." The emperor cut her in half. From the remains sprang Wang Mang, the guy who split the Han Dynasty in half and was later overthrown by Han Guangwu, who founded the Later Han.
* ''[[Bloom County]]''
** In the 2015 reboot, Opus is conscripted into being a Presidential candidate, which he does not want. In the strip [https://www.gocomics.com/bloom-county/2015/09/29 seen here], a government official tells him he can't withdraw his candidacy, except by reason of insanity. When Opus tries that, the guy makes him swear he does not want to be President — which means he's clearly sane, and thus cannot withdraw.
** A similar joke is made in 2019. Milo tells Opus that simply ''running'' for President means the candidate is too nuts to do the job, and ''rejecting'' it means he's sane enough to do it. He calls it a "Presidential Catch-22".
 
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
* ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'':
** One issue of ''[[Dragon (magazine)|Dragon]]'' magazine has a list of [[Riddle of the Sphinx|riddles the gynosphinx might use]], with the usual deal that if the PCs fail to answer them correctly, they're lunch. One of them, to be issued when the sphinx's hunger overcomes her fairness, has the solution "Kill me".
** Paladins sooner or later tend to face the dilemma of "[[To Be Lawful or Good]]?" - which both is an in-character trouble and may mean fall from grace on the spot upon either choice. A particularly infamous example was the paradox of a Paladin being sent by his lord to kill a succubus and then finding out that the succubus had been summoned by a wizard, both of whom genuinely and mutually loved each other. A paladin bound by his oath must protect pure love, but also obey commands given by a legitimate authority.
**** Part of the material compiled in ''Book of Exalted Deeds'' was dedicated to things like giving the Paladin a way out or [[Take a Third Option|third option]]: when faced with this dilemma, protecting pure love is more important and takes precedence, and therefore you ignore the order. In fact, you are encouraged to figure out whether the 'legitimate' authority might actually be corrupt, because a just leader wouldn't (knowingly) give you such an order.
*** A particularly infamous was the paradox of a Paladin being sent by his lord to kill a succubus and than finding out that the succubus had been summoned by a wizard, both of whom genuinely and mutually loved each other. A paladin, bound by his oath, must protect pure love but also obey commands given by a legitimate authority.
**** Part of the material compiled in ''Book of Exalted Deeds'' was dedicated to things like giving the Paladin a way out or [[Take a Third Option|third option]]: when faced with this dilemma, protecting pure love is more important and takes precedence, and therefore you ignore the order. In fact, you are encouraged to figure out whether the 'legitimate' authority might actually be corrupt, because a just leader wouldn't (knowingly) give you such an order.
*** [[Forgotten Realms]] materials specifically noted that while paladins generally agree on "Paladin's Virtues" per classic work of a retired paladin, different faiths and orders has each its own dogma and agenda, so they have different priorities and interpretations. In other words, paladins of gods promoting optimism and vigilance obviously may have disagreements that don't fall under "[[To Be Lawful or Good]]", with each clearly following their own dogma. While being inclined to resolve these unresolvable conflicts in the spirit of goodwill and cooperation, what's with being Lawful Good. That's even before an individual paladin runs into something truly non-standard.
* ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'' is all about setting up situations where The Computer and your secret society both assign you dangerous, mutually contradictory goals, and have the means to punish you if you don't deliver. And then you have to deal with your fellow Troubleshooters and all of ''their'' contradictory goals.
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== [[Video Games]] ==
* In the first ''[[Marvel Ultimate Alliance]]'': In Mephisto's Realm, you are faced with the [[Sadistic Choice]] of letting either Nightcrawler or Jean Grey fall to their death (and it's impossible to [[Took a Third Option|save them both]]<ref>Unless {{spoiler|you have recruited Magneto}} - who is downloadable content - the only way to get the [[Golden Ending]]</ref>). At the end of the game, if you chose to save Nightcrawler, {{spoiler|Jean comes back as the Dark Phoenix}}. On the other hand, if you chose to save Jean, {{spoiler|Mystique (Nightcrawler's mother) murders Charles Xavier in revenge, and the X-Men consequently disband}}. Either way, the Watcher will tell you that "It was unfortunate..."
* ''[[Deus Ex]]'' and its sequel.
** None of the endings are outright ''happy'' endings. In two endings of the sequel, they are decidedly downbeat.
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''(Cadets talk amongst themselves for a few seconds)''
'''Cadet''': No.}}
*:* In a Treehouse of Horror segment set during the Salem witch trials, Marge was accused of witchcraft and sentenced to being thrown off a cliff. If she died, it would be an "honorable Christian death". If she survived, it'd be taken as proof that she's a witch, in which case she would be executed. The whole thing fell apart when she turned out to be a witch after all, and used her powers to escape punishment ''and'' exact revenge. The townsfolk were completely unprepared for this, since the witch trials were apparently less about finding actual witches and more about setting innocent people up as scapegoats for every little thing that went wrong.
*:* When Homer goes to India and comes to believe himself a god, Lenny and Carl come to visit him and are met by a guard who offers them a choice between two doors, explaining that Homer Simpson is behind one and a Bengal tiger is behind the other. When it turns out that both doors have a tiger behind them, the guard explains "One of these tigers is named Homer Simpson."
* In one of the last episodes of the [[Rocky and Bullwinkle]] series, Boris was caught in one where, after stealing a raft-load of goods, the award he received for the deed caused the raft to begin sinking. If the goods sunk, Boris would be shot, and if he threw away the award to stop the raft from sinking, he'd still be shot. {{spoiler|Whichever one happened, a shot was heard offscreen by the heroes}}.
* In the animated version of ''[[Pac-Man (animation)|Pac-Man]]'', the episode where the Ghost Monsters accidentally zap themselves with the Nightmare Ray they intend to use on Pac-Man, Clyde has a nightmare where he's on trial, charged with crimes that include Chomping Without a License and Chomping ''With'' a License.
* The ''[[DC Super Hero Girls]]'' episode #BackInAFlash starts with an assembly at the school where Babs is eating a breakfast burrito with beans. This causes her to pass gas while the principal is talking, and while she tries to conceal it, [[Troll| Leslie]] quickly shouts that it was her, humiliating Babs and making her a pariah. Babs convinces [[The Flash| Barry]] to use his [[Time Travel]] abilities to go back and prevent it from happening by replacing the bean burrito with a veggie burrito. Then they decide to [[Mundane Utility| do a few other things]] like watch a movie she loves when it was still in theaters and buy a rare collectible comic book when it was still easy to obtain. But when they return to the present, they find their actions have caused a [[Butterfly of Doom]] that resulted in a [[Bad Future]] with General Zod ruling the world! They go back and undo everything ''except'' the burrito switch (Babs being very reluctant to undo that one), but that makes it worse (Starro has now conquered the world) so it becomes clear that the key event was the burrito switch. The decision Babs must make is clear: save the world by restoring the key event to what it was, or save her reputation by letting the change stand. Now, this is [[Batgirl]] we’re talking about, and one would assume the choice is obvious for anyone worthy of calling herself a hero; Babs does indeed decide on the first choice… but there’s a twist. Before she can do so, she is stopped by several alternate timeline versions of herself that did ''not'' prefer that choice, and now want to stop her. Then just as many versions of herself who agree with her choice show up to give her backup. Babs finally [[Take a Third Option| sees a third option]] - she gives the burrito to her past self with a warning of what both paths entail and lets ''her'' decide, deleting both timelines and starting anew. Thus, while she isn’t able to avoid farting at the assembly, she does not try to hide it and admits it, getting everyone to laugh and avoiding further scorn.
* ''[[Harley Quinn (TV series)|Harley Quinn]]''; In the episode "Killers Block", after Barbara is shot and crippled by the Joker (a clear shout out to ''[[The Killing Joke]]'') Harley goes gunning for revenge, captures the Joker, and drags him to the zoo where she threatens to feed him to Bud and Lou, her two hyenas. Unfortunately, as much as Harley ''wants'' to kill him, he can't exactly do so in order to avenge Barbara, as she's trying to prove to Barbara she's no longer a villain. And the Joker knows this. He tells Harley she can either prove she's good and let him live, or prove she hasn't changed and kill him. Eventually, Harley decides to [[Take a Third Option]], she dumps him on Jim Gordon's doorstep (gift-wrapped) and let ''him'' deal with the Joker - [[Papa Wolf| as he is very very anxious to do]].
 
== Other Media ==
* There's a well-known story that the Caliph Umar whose army sacked the Library of Alexandria said of its books that either they contradicted the Koran and thus were heretical and should be burned, or they agreed with the Koran and thus were superfluous and should be burned. Either way, they wound up on the bonfire. Though [[You Fail History Forever|almost certainly false]], this legend can be traced back [http://www.nybooks.com/articles/3517 at least] to the 13th century.
** It's reused to similar effect in the pastiche of the Alexandria burning in [[Discworld/Small Gods|Small Gods]].
** Also referred to in ''[[Final Crisis]]: Submit'', where Black Lightning, having been subjected to the [[The Virus|Anti-Life Equation]], is burning Darwin's ''The Origin of Man'' and states "What disagrees with [[Omnicidal Maniac|Darkseid]] is heresy. What agrees with Darkseid is superfluous."
*** [[Grant Morrison]] had previously used the same line in ''[[Justice League of America|JLA]]: Rock of Ages'' in an alternate future where Metron, New God of Knowledge had been subjected to the Equation.
* There's a classic [[Jewish Mother]] joke that works like this: She gives her son two nice ties for his birthday. Next week he goes to dinner at her house wearing one of them. The mother says, "What's the matter, you didn't like the other one?"
** Some version go further. Following week, the son bring the other tie, and the mother remarks "You used to like the other, why don't you like it anymore?". A week later, the son tries to play smart, wearing no tie (or both at once) to the desparationdesperation of the mother "Why I grew up a son that can't dress himself properly!".
*** The only possible alternative, probably, would be to bring both ties and keep changing in and out of them at equally timed intervals - and, when Mother complains that the tie keeps changing color, tell her it's the same tie and that she's going colorblind.
* And another classic joke referred to by ''[[Futurama]]'' where captured male explorers are required to choose death or Snoo-snoo. The first one chooses Snoo-snoo since anything is better than death, and is [whatever it actually is changes wildly depending on who's telling it]. The other chooses death and the verdict is announced. "Death!...by ''Snoo-snoo''!"
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*** If "Yes.", then cocksucker = true
*** If "No.", then dirtycocksucker = true
* [https://twitter.com/TheBestOfTumbIr/status/767088885088284673 Fandom].{{dead link}}
*# If you don't watch a series entirely, ''you are not a true fan''.
*# If you do watch a series entirely, ''[[Fanon Discontinuity|you are not a true fan]]''.
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* The trial of [[Joan of Arc]] had a famous unsuccessful one. She was asked if she believed she was "in God's Grace." If she said yes, her overconfidence would brand her as a dangerous fanatic, since no one but God is supposed to know who's in his grace or not. If she said no, however, then it would mean she had been masquerading as a religious figure for trivial ends. Joan, however, figured out the trap quickly enough to answer: ''"If I'm not, may God put me in it; If I am, may God keep me there."'' The wording was considered both humble and pious. Centuries later, this witty reply was actually considered as an argument in favor of her canonization.
** Her death sentence was allegedly based on another one: Given only men's clothing, she had a choice between wearing it (and being condemned for impropriety) or going naked (and being condemned for impropriety, as well as exposing herself to [[Prison Rape|certain other dangers]] in the enemy prison that she was held in).
*** Punishment for improper clothing or indecency was fine or flogging at the time. Joan of Arc was already considered a militant rebel, whatwhich was enough to warrant a high treason sentence i.e. qualified death.
* The medieval and early colonial practice of "dunking" those accused of witchcraft could very easily become this. The accused would have a rope tied to her waist and get thrown into a body of water. If she floated, pull her out and, depending on the region and era, either imprison, hang, or [[Burn the Witch|burn her at the stake]]. If she sank, pull her out and let her go... and if she happened to drown, at least she died innocent.
* The "Jonah Complex" in psychology, where if you fail something you beat yourself up over it because you're not skilled enough, yet if you succeed you attribute it to pure luck and still beat yourself up over it for not being skilled.
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[[Category:Narrative Devices]]
[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]
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