Narm/Literature: Difference between revisions

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** The scene in ''Brisingr'' in which Roran stands dramatically [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses|on top of a 20-foot-tall stack of the bodies of 193 men he had defeated]]. His only stated regret was that there were not enough foes for an even two hundred. While this may suggest [[Alternate Character Interpretation|even worse disturbing sociopathy than Eragon's]] while [[Character Derailment|not gelling with how he's been characterized before]], the scene imagined was so ludicrous that it was [[Hilarity Ensues|hilarious]].
** The scene in ''Brisingr'' in which Roran stands dramatically [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses|on top of a 20-foot-tall stack of the bodies of 193 men he had defeated]]. His only stated regret was that there were not enough foes for an even two hundred. While this may suggest [[Alternate Character Interpretation|even worse disturbing sociopathy than Eragon's]] while [[Character Derailment|not gelling with how he's been characterized before]], the scene imagined was so ludicrous that it was [[Hilarity Ensues|hilarious]].
*** [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0439.html Only because he'll never be this cool.]
*** [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0439.html Only because he'll never be this cool.]
** In ''Eldest'', the scene where Arya meets some elves, and they form a ring and dance around her for a few minutes, singing. All fine and dandy, if, like Paolini you are not English. If you are, you can't help but be reminded of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_dance Morris dancing.] Which is hilarious.
** In ''Eldest'', the scene where Arya meets some elves, and they form a ring and dance around her for a few minutes, singing. All fine and dandy, if, like Paolini you are not English. If you are, you can't help but be reminded of [[wikipedia:Morris dance|Morris dancing.]] Which is hilarious.
** Oromis's [[Ho Yay|hairless groin.]]
** Oromis's [[Ho Yay|hairless groin.]]
** The high priest of Helgrind resembles a certain [[Monty Python and The Holy Grail|Black Knight]]. It's a miracle that he didn't shout, "It's just a flesh wound!"
** The high priest of Helgrind resembles a certain [[Monty Python and The Holy Grail|Black Knight]]. It's a miracle that he didn't shout, "It's just a flesh wound!"
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*** It's even worse is you're familiar with [[The Modest Orgasm|a certain French euphemism]].
*** It's even worse is you're familiar with [[The Modest Orgasm|a certain French euphemism]].
** There is also a scene in which the sight of a bee saves Eragon from the brink of death.
** There is also a scene in which the sight of a bee saves Eragon from the brink of death.
** Either [[Christopher Paolini (Creator)|Christopher Paolini]] [[Critical Research Failure|doesn't know what "the pox" actually means to a mediaeval person]], or he was [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]] (at a really bad time) when Orik says his parents died of the pox. Historically (and certainly in the High Mediaeval era that Inheritance is allegedly set in), "the pox" meant syphilis. Yes, ''that'' [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis Syphilis]. Paolini put a reference to sexually transmitted disease in the middle of what was supposed to be a sad and moving scene. Something you aren't telling us about [[All Women Are Lustful|mum]] and [[All Men Are Perverts|dad]], Orik?
** Either [[Christopher Paolini (Creator)|Christopher Paolini]] [[Critical Research Failure|doesn't know what "the pox" actually means to a mediaeval person]], or he was [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]] (at a really bad time) when Orik says his parents died of the pox. Historically (and certainly in the High Mediaeval era that Inheritance is allegedly set in), "the pox" meant syphilis. Yes, ''that'' [[wikipedia:Syphilis|Syphilis]]. Paolini put a reference to sexually transmitted disease in the middle of what was supposed to be a sad and moving scene. Something you aren't telling us about [[All Women Are Lustful|mum]] and [[All Men Are Perverts|dad]], Orik?
** Oh, ''Inheritance'' is almost unreadable, there's so much Narm. This series just takes itself far more seriously than it often deserves.
** Oh, ''Inheritance'' is almost unreadable, there's so much Narm. This series just takes itself far more seriously than it often deserves.
*** Such as the moment at the end of "The City of Sorrows" when Roran mentally tells Eragon to "hurry, or I swear I'll haunt you from the grave." While this is not a serious threat on Roan's part, it's clearly meant to be a serious moment showing us the dire situation they find themselves in…but it's such a useless, laughable threat that Roran looks like a wimp. "Just in case feeling overwhelming amounts of anguish/guilt for failing to keep the world from falling to the permanent rule of a horrible, inhuman dictator, letting your liegelord be tortured almost to death, losing the schoolboy-crush-esque love of your life, aren't enough…your cousin is also going to return from the dead as a spook in wherever you live in the ensuing dystopia."
*** Such as the moment at the end of "The City of Sorrows" when Roran mentally tells Eragon to "hurry, or I swear I'll haunt you from the grave." While this is not a serious threat on Roan's part, it's clearly meant to be a serious moment showing us the dire situation they find themselves in…but it's such a useless, laughable threat that Roran looks like a wimp. "Just in case feeling overwhelming amounts of anguish/guilt for failing to keep the world from falling to the permanent rule of a horrible, inhuman dictator, letting your liegelord be tortured almost to death, losing the schoolboy-crush-esque love of your life, aren't enough…your cousin is also going to return from the dead as a spook in wherever you live in the ensuing dystopia."
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** Many of [[Mills and Boon Prose|the sex scenes]] easily qualify as narm.
** Many of [[Mills and Boon Prose|the sex scenes]] easily qualify as narm.
** The multiple uses of "half a hundred" as the number of times something gory happens (the little Targaryen princess was stabbed half a hundred times, someone's daughter was raped by half a hundred men during the bread riots, etc.) makes it less impressive and more [[Drinking Game|"take a sip!"]]
** The multiple uses of "half a hundred" as the number of times something gory happens (the little Targaryen princess was stabbed half a hundred times, someone's daughter was raped by half a hundred men during the bread riots, etc.) makes it less impressive and more [[Drinking Game|"take a sip!"]]
** The name "Jon Snow" makes a lot of British readers think of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Snow the Channel 4 newsreader and investigative journalist.] It wears off quickly enough, but in early scenes one can't help but visualize this old, white-haired man at the wall.
** The name "Jon Snow" makes a lot of British readers think of [[wikipedia:Jon Snow|the Channel 4 newsreader and investigative journalist.]] It wears off quickly enough, but in early scenes one can't help but visualize this old, white-haired man at the wall.
* In ''The Good Guy,'' a novel by [[Dean Koontz]], there's a fantastic line that completely breaks the flow of the scenario. A killer is stalking the two main characters. Seeing the killer's car outside waiting for them causes this line (referring to the male hero) to be typed:
* In ''The Good Guy,'' a novel by [[Dean Koontz]], there's a fantastic line that completely breaks the flow of the scenario. A killer is stalking the two main characters. Seeing the killer's car outside waiting for them causes this line (referring to the male hero) to be typed:
{{quote| "He wished he were a buttered muffin."}}
{{quote| "He wished he were a buttered muffin."}}
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* "Mir. It rhymes with 'fear'." from the short story "Above It All." There are some parts of that story that are truly creepy. That is not one of them.
* "Mir. It rhymes with 'fear'." from the short story "Above It All." There are some parts of that story that are truly creepy. That is not one of them.
* ''She Said Yes''. The whole book is riddled with hindsight-based "insight" from the subject's parents (the book's authors) about [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic|how every little thing she did was part of an elaborate path towards the end of her life]], repeatedly describing in [[What Do You Mean It's Not Didactic?|overblown]] verbosity the girl's "[[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|shocking]]" lifestyle, which almost any other parent or teenager--or anyone who's seen stories about truly shocking teenage behavior--would recognize as normal adolescence. The only '''real''' gravitas comes from [[Foregone Conclusion|knowing the ending in advance]] (it's the biography of a girl who died in the Columbine High School shootings).
* ''She Said Yes''. The whole book is riddled with hindsight-based "insight" from the subject's parents (the book's authors) about [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic|how every little thing she did was part of an elaborate path towards the end of her life]], repeatedly describing in [[What Do You Mean It's Not Didactic?|overblown]] verbosity the girl's "[[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|shocking]]" lifestyle, which almost any other parent or teenager--or anyone who's seen stories about truly shocking teenage behavior--would recognize as normal adolescence. The only '''real''' gravitas comes from [[Foregone Conclusion|knowing the ending in advance]] (it's the biography of a girl who died in the Columbine High School shootings).
** It's worth noting that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassie_Bernall Cassie Bernall] ''[[Beam Me Up, Scotty|wasn't]]'' the one who said yes according to the official investigation...
** It's worth noting that [[wikipedia:Cassie Bernall|Cassie Bernall]] ''[[Beam Me Up, Scotty|wasn't]]'' the one who said yes according to the official investigation...
* ''[[Latawnya the Naughty Horse Learns To Say No To Drugs]]'' is made of this. It becomes impossible to absorb the moral of the story when it's full of smoking and drinking horses of the non-anthropomorphic variety. The intended [[Tear Jerker]] moment involving an OD'd horse lying dead with a joint by his mouth is the icing on the cake.
* ''[[Latawnya the Naughty Horse Learns To Say No To Drugs]]'' is made of this. It becomes impossible to absorb the moral of the story when it's full of smoking and drinking horses of the non-anthropomorphic variety. The intended [[Tear Jerker]] moment involving an OD'd horse lying dead with a joint by his mouth is the icing on the cake.
** This is probably the truest, most glorious example of literary Narm on this page.
** This is probably the truest, most glorious example of literary Narm on this page.
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* Stephen King's ''It'' -- specifically, that scene at the very end of the book. You know the one. The one where 12-year-old Beverly has to help her six friends escape the sewers. Her method, and why it is Narm, is best left unexplained.... <ref>Why is this book legal?</ref><ref>They have {{spoiler|sex}}. </ref>
* Stephen King's ''It'' -- specifically, that scene at the very end of the book. You know the one. The one where 12-year-old Beverly has to help her six friends escape the sewers. Her method, and why it is Narm, is best left unexplained.... <ref>Why is this book legal?</ref><ref>They have {{spoiler|sex}}. </ref>
** It was meant as a growing-up ritual. Aparently, defeating an [[Eldritch Abomination]] doesn't count.
** It was meant as a growing-up ritual. Aparently, defeating an [[Eldritch Abomination]] doesn't count.
* Stephen Hand's novelizations of ''[[The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Film)|The Texas Chainsaw Massacre]]'' and ''[[Freddy vs. Jason (Film)|Freddy vs. Jason]]'', and his original novel ''[[Friday the 13 th|Friday the 13th]]: Carnival of Maniacs'', while decent, occasionally descend into... weird [[Purple Prose]].
* Stephen Hand's novelizations of ''[[The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Film)|The Texas Chainsaw Massacre]]'' and ''[[Freddy vs. Jason (Film)|Freddy vs. Jason]]'', and his original novel ''[[Friday the 13th]]: Carnival of Maniacs'', while decent, occasionally descend into... weird [[Purple Prose]].
* The death of Anji's boyfriend Dave in the [[Doctor Who (TV)|Doctor Who]] [[Eighth Doctor Adventures]] novel ''Escape Velocity'', a lousy installment in an otherwise [[Gushing About Shows You Like|great series]]:
* The death of Anji's boyfriend Dave in the [[Doctor Who]] [[Eighth Doctor Adventures]] novel ''Escape Velocity'', a lousy installment in an otherwise [[Gushing About Shows You Like|great series]]:
{{quote| Dave's eyes flickered open for one last time and he saw the rockets on the base of the Planet Hopper fire into life. What a view! he thought, and then died as the flames from the engines reached the bus which then exploded.}}
{{quote| Dave's eyes flickered open for one last time and he saw the rockets on the base of the Planet Hopper fire into life. What a view! he thought, and then died as the flames from the engines reached the bus which then exploded.}}
** The screams of laughter from the readers reached the novel, which then exploded.
** The screams of laughter from the readers reached the novel, which then exploded.
* Mariel in ''Mariel of Redwall'' is the High Queen of Mood Swings. After a mean old squirrel refuses to travel with her:
* Mariel in ''Mariel of Redwall'' is the High Queen of Mood Swings. After a mean old squirrel refuses to travel with her:
{{quote| For the first time, Storm felt alone and unwanted. She walked off out of the squirrel's bower into the surrounding trees, swinging her rope. "Me and Gullwhacker don't need anybeast. We're all right."}}
{{quote| For the first time, Storm felt alone and unwanted. She walked off out of the squirrel's bower into the surrounding trees, swinging her rope. "Me and Gullwhacker don't need anybeast. We're all right."}}
** Five seconds later, she's back, and [[Angst What Angst|everything's fine]]. She does this sort of thing repeatedly.
** Five seconds later, she's back, and [[Angst? What Angst?|everything's fine]]. She does this sort of thing repeatedly.
*** She stabilizes a bit once she gets her memory back.
*** She stabilizes a bit once she gets her memory back.
** Not to mention the line "Sports, playing...what's all that mean?" You've got ''amnesia'', woman, you didn't just crawl out from under a rock! Then there's Treerose and her obsession with being an [[Attention Whore]] until she [[Character Development|grows up a bit.]]
** Not to mention the line "Sports, playing...what's all that mean?" You've got ''amnesia'', woman, you didn't just crawl out from under a rock! Then there's Treerose and her obsession with being an [[Attention Whore]] until she [[Character Development|grows up a bit.]]
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* "[[Bill O Reilly|You wanted a house by the ocean. Well, the ocean can cut both ways!]]"
* "[[Bill O Reilly|You wanted a house by the ocean. Well, the ocean can cut both ways!]]"
** Don't worry about it. Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. Amen.
** Don't worry about it. Tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. Amen.
* The [[Wham Episode|final chapter]] of the eleventh ''[[Haruhi Suzumiya (Light Novel)|Haruhi Suzumiya]]'' novel <ref>Which is the reason it's listed here and not under Anime & Manga</ref> is truly ''epic'' Narm. Fujiwara's conversation with {{spoiler|Mikuru}} during the former's [[Villainous Breakdown]] has both characters sound like they are in a [[Soap Opera]]. It's kind of hard to take the words, {{spoiler|"I don't want to lose you again, [[Long Lost Sibling|Onee-san!]]"}} seriously when it's [[Smug Snake|Fujiwara]] saying them. And it doesn't help that there is a ''very'' melodramatic illustration for this scene which looks like it was taken out of a [[Shoujo]] manga.)
* The [[Wham! Episode|final chapter]] of the eleventh ''[[Haruhi Suzumiya (Light Novel)|Haruhi Suzumiya]]'' novel <ref>Which is the reason it's listed here and not under Anime & Manga</ref> is truly ''epic'' Narm. Fujiwara's conversation with {{spoiler|Mikuru}} during the former's [[Villainous Breakdown]] has both characters sound like they are in a [[Soap Opera]]. It's kind of hard to take the words, {{spoiler|"I don't want to lose you again, [[Long Lost Sibling|Onee-san!]]"}} seriously when it's [[Smug Snake|Fujiwara]] saying them. And it doesn't help that there is a ''very'' melodramatic illustration for this scene which looks like it was taken out of a [[Shoujo]] manga.)
* While ''[[The Lovely Bones]]'' generally has very good prose, it's hard to take this line seriously:
* While ''[[The Lovely Bones]]'' generally has very good prose, it's hard to take this line seriously:
{{quote| She asked for coffee and toast in a restaurant and buttered it with tears.}}
{{quote| She asked for coffee and toast in a restaurant and buttered it with tears.}}