No Except Yes: Difference between revisions

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== Anime & Manga ==

* At the end of ''[[Red Garden]],'' the villain tells the main characters that he isn't killing them, he's destroying them; since they're already dead, it [[What Measure Is a Non-Human?|doesn't count as killing]].

* ''[[~~Azumanga Daioh (Manga)|~~Azumanga Daioh]]'', Tomo loses to Sakaki in a footrace, and shouts that she's not the loser, but the runner-up.

* ''[[Azumanga Daioh]]'', Tomo loses to Sakaki in a footrace, and shouts that she's not the loser, but the runner-up.

* Used and [[Lampshade Hanging|lampshaded]] in ''[[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha As]]'' during the battle between [[Petting Zoo People|Arf and Zafila]].

{{quote| '''Arf:''' Are you one of their familiars?

'''Zafila:''' In Belka space, we don't call the beasts that serve their masters "familiars"! We call them their fangs and shields! We're Guardian Beasts!

'''Arf:''' It's just the same damn thing! }}

** And again in ''[[Striker S Sound Stage X]]'', which is set [[Time Skip|three years after]] ''[[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha ~~Strikers~~]]'', when Agito visits Lutecia in the latter's [[Penal Colony|Prison Planet]], which, to be fair to Agito, [[Luxury Prison Suite|really is a pretty nice place]].

** And again in ''[[Striker S Sound Stage X]]'', which is set [[Time Skip|three years after]] ''[[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS]]'', when Agito visits Lutecia in the latter's [[Penal Colony|Prison Planet]], which, to be fair to Agito, [[Luxury Prison Suite|really is a pretty nice place]].

{{quote| '''Agito:''' You know, this place is really great.

'''Lutecia:''' You mean you can't see that it's a criminal deportation world?

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== Films -- Animated ==

* ''[[Beowulf (~~Film~~)|Beowulf]]'': "This is not battle. This is slaughter."

* ''[[Beowulf (film)|Beowulf]]'': "This is not battle. This is slaughter."

* ''[[The Incredibles]]'':

{{quote| '''Helen''': We were not arguing, we were... discussing.

'''Violet''': Pretty loud discussion. }}

* ''[[Robin Hood (Disney)|Robin Hood]]'', the [[Disney Animated Canon|Disney version]]:

* ''[[Robin Hood (Disney film)|Robin Hood]]'', the [[Disney Animated Canon|Disney version]]:

{{quote| '''Robin Hood:''' Rob? Tch tch. That's a naughty word, we never rob. We just... Sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.

'''Little John:''' Borrow? Heh. Boy, are we in debt. }}

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{{quote| '''Nick''': This is murder!

'''Danny''': No, it's not; it's ketchup! }}

* ''[[Maverick (~~Film~~)|Maverick]]'' (1994)

* ''[[Maverick (film)|Maverick]]'' (1994)

{{quote| '''Coop:''' See, my feeling is that if there weren't any women none of us would be here.

'''Maverick:''' What kind of sense does that make? If there were no men, we wouldn't be here either.

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'''Maverick:''' Don't get ruffled. Let's just say I was agreeing with you in a totally unusual way. }}

* In ''[[Rat Race]]'' the rich gambler orchestrating the titular race (John Cleese played him) is "too rich to be crazy. I'm 'eccentric!'"

* In ''[[~~Spaceballs (Film)|~~Spaceballs]]'', the protagonists Lone Starr and Barf need '1 million spacebucks' to get out of a debt with a creature called 'Pizza the Hutt' in a situation clearly meant to mirror Han Solo and Chewbacca's within ''[[Star Wars]]''. After being given a mission to rescue a king's daughter and successfully demanding that price, Barf is afraid by how they are risking their lives for money. Lone Starr replies:

* In ''[[Spaceballs]]'', the protagonists Lone Starr and Barf need '1 million spacebucks' to get out of a debt with a creature called 'Pizza the Hutt' in a situation clearly meant to mirror Han Solo and Chewbacca's within ''[[Star Wars]]''. After being given a mission to rescue a king's daughter and successfully demanding that price, Barf is afraid by how they are risking their lives for money. Lone Starr replies:

{{quote| '''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[Only in It For ~~The~~ Money|just doing this for money]]. (beat) We're doing it for a ''[[Precision F-Strike|shitload]]'' of money!}}

{{quote| '''Lone Starr:''' Barf, we're not [[Only in It For the Money|just doing this for money]]. (beat) We're doing it for a ''[[Precision F-Strike|shitload]]'' of money!}}

** Before that, they were hesitant to accept the mission:

{{quote| '''Barf:''' Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid-- far from it! It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's... not us.}}

* The Don Rosa quote above mirrors one in ''[[~~Speed (Film)|~~Speed]]'':

* The Don Rosa quote above mirrors one in ''[[Speed]]'':

{{quote| '''Jack:''' You're crazy!

'''Payne:''' No! Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric. }}

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* A profoundly nonsensical example shows up in ''[[Troll 2]]'':

* Done many times in ''[[~~Star Trek (Franchise)|~~Star Trek]]'' ''[[Star Trek II ~~the~~ Wrath of Khan ~~(Film)~~|The Wrath of Khan]]'' and ''[[Star Trek VI ~~the~~ Undiscovered Country ~~(Film)~~|The Undiscovered Country]].''

* Done many times in ''[[Star Trek]]'' ''[[Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan|The Wrath of Khan]]'' and ''[[Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country|The Undiscovered Country]].''

{{quote| '''Saavik:''' You lied.

'''Spock:''' I exaggerated.

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* ''[[Dr. Strangelove]]'': "You're talking about mass murder, General. Not war."

* ''[[Space Mutiny]]'': "Are there any other of you... that wish to confuse... FREEDOM... with TREASON?"

** [[~~MST3K~~|I'd like to confuse bok choi with cabbage, Sir!]]

** [[Mystery Science Theater 3000|I'd like to confuse bok choi with cabbage, Sir!]]

* ''[[Flash Gordon (~~Film~~)|Flash Gordon]]'': After Flash defeats Prince Barin in a duel, but shows him mercy, the following exchange occurs:

* ''[[Flash Gordon (film)|Flash Gordon]]'': After Flash defeats Prince Barin in a duel, but shows him mercy, the following exchange occurs:

{{quote| '''[[Brian Blessed|Prince Vultan]]''': What is this?

'''Dr. Zarkov''': Humanity.

'''Vultan''': Madness! }}

* [[Spider Man]] the first movie.

* [[Spider-Man]] the first movie.

{{quote| '''Peter:''' (in response to false Spidey bashing headline) That's slander.

'''J Jonah Jameson:''' It is not, I resent that! (beat) [[You Keep Using That Word|Slander is spoken. In print it's libel.]] }}

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'''Da Fino''': Hey, hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.

'''The Dude''': She's not my "special lady," she's my fucking lady friend. }}

* ''[[Clue (~~Film~~)|Clue]]'':

* ''[[Clue (film)|Clue]]'':

{{quote| '''Wadsworth:''' THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT! WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT ''WHO'' KILLED HIM, AND ''WHERE'' AND WITH ''WHAT''!

'''Professor Plum:''' There's no need to shout!

'''Wadsworth:''' '''I'M NOT SHOUTING!''' (beat) ALL RIGHT, I AM! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOU-- }}

** At this point, his shouting has vibrated the candlestick from its perch above the doorway he's standing in and clocked him on the head.

* ''[[~~Tomorrow Never Dies (Film)|~~Tomorrow Never Dies]]''

* ''[[Tomorrow Never Dies]]''

{{quote| '''[[James Bond (~~Film~~)|James Bond]]''' (to megalomaniac Carver): Hmm... You're insane.

{{quote| '''[[James Bond (film)|James Bond]]''' (to megalomaniac Carver): Hmm... You're insane.

'''Carver''': The difference between genius and insanity is measured only by success. }}

* ''[[Kingdom of Heaven]]'':

{{quote| '''Balian''': What is Jerusalem worth?

'''Saladin''': Nothing. (He walks away then turns around) '''Everything.''' }}

* Gargamel isn't obsessed with [[The Smurfs (~~Film~~)|The Smurfs]], he just "can't stop thinking about them".

* Gargamel isn't obsessed with [[The Smurfs (film)|The Smurfs]], he just "can't stop thinking about them".

* From ''[[The Shining]]'', as Jack Torrance has pretty much lost it and starts menacing his wife.

{{quote| '''Jack:''' I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash them right the fuck in!}}

* In ''[[X Men First Class ~~(Film)~~|X Men First Class]]'', Emma Frost interrupts the CIA Directer and Stryker Sr. when they're discussing the possibility of a war. She prefers not to use that term; it implies that both sides have a chance of winning.

* In ''[[X-Men: First Class|X Men First Class]]'', Emma Frost interrupts the CIA Directer and Stryker Sr. when they're discussing the possibility of a war. She prefers not to use that term; it implies that both sides have a chance of winning.

* In ''[[~~National Treasure (Film)|~~National Treasure]]'', [[Nicolas Cage|Ben]] tells Riley that when [[Thomas Edison]] was asked about his first failed 1000 attempts to make a light bulb, he replied that he didn't fail. He just figured out 1000 ways how ''not'' to make a light bulb.

* In ''[[National Treasure]]'', [[Nicolas Cage|Ben]] tells Riley that when [[Thomas Edison]] was asked about his first failed 1000 attempts to make a light bulb, he replied that he didn't fail. He just figured out 1000 ways how ''not'' to make a light bulb.

* From ''[[The Miracle of ~~Morgans~~ Creek]]'':

* From ''[[The Miracle of Morgan's Creek]]'':

{{quote| '''Governor:''' This is the biggest thing to happen to this state since we stole it from the Indians!

'''The Boss:''' Borrowed. }}

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*** The above is not just a clever reinterpretation - attempting to understand the canon timeline is an exercise in futility because the timeline in the Discworld was literally shattered into a billion pieces and glued together bit by bit a bunch of monks. ''Twice''.

** The Discworld books have also used the "poor people are mad, rich people are eccentric" line a few times. In the ''Companion'' it adds that King Ludwig the Tree (who believed there should be a new kind of frog, and wore his underpants on his head) was "a little confused".

** And then there's Ahmed the Mad, AKA Ahmed the I Just Get These Headaches. He's obviously a parody of [[HP Lovecraft|Abdul al'Hazred]].

** And then there's Ahmed the Mad, AKA Ahmed the I Just Get These Headaches. He's obviously a parody of [[H.P. Lovecraft|Abdul al'Hazred]].

** In ''Maskerade'':

{{quote| "He was strangled, and then he was hung"

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## Capital-A Assassins are ''never'' "employed". They are commissioned, engaged, retained, contracted.

** It's not necromancy, it's Post-Mortem Communication. Necromancy is a very bad form of magic, done only by evil wizards. Since we are not evil wizards, what we are doing cannot possibly be called necromancy.

* ''[[Ciaphas Cain]]'' has an interesting take on this. Usually the reword puts someone in a better light. He, on the other hand, spends hundreds of pages explaining in detail how he is ''not'' a hero, that he doesn't charge the enemy, he's really retreating through them; that saving people's lives is not selfless because in the long run it ensures his survival. You can bet each one of his stories has hundreds of these rewordings; being the ''[[Warhammer ~~40 K~~]]'' universe, though, he ''is'' a [[Badass]].

* ''[[Ciaphas Cain]]'' has an interesting take on this. Usually the reword puts someone in a better light. He, on the other hand, spends hundreds of pages explaining in detail how he is ''not'' a hero, that he doesn't charge the enemy, he's really retreating through them; that saving people's lives is not selfless because in the long run it ensures his survival. You can bet each one of his stories has hundreds of these rewordings; being the ''[[Warhammer 40000]]'' universe, though, he ''is'' a [[Badass]].

* ''[[~~Animorphs (Literature)|~~Animorphs]]'' had Ax retort that he did not fall asleep in class as had been insinuated; he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.

* ''[[Animorphs]]'' had Ax retort that he did not fall asleep in class as had been insinuated; he just became calm and restful and not completely alert.

{{quote| '''Rachel:''' Did you snore when you got all calm and restful and not completely alert?}}

* The ''Lasher'' series:

{{quote| '''Mona:''' I didn't lose my virginity. [[Up to Eleven|I obliterated all traces of its existence]].}}

* ''[[The ~~Hitchhikers~~ Guide to ~~The~~ Galaxy]]'' contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate. But, it assures the reader, in the case of major discrepancy, it is always life that has got it wrong.

* ''[[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]'' contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate. But, it assures the reader, in the case of major discrepancy, it is always life that has got it wrong.

* Inverted in the fourth ''[[~~Artemis Fowl (Literature)|~~Artemis Fowl]]'' book, when Trouble Kelp orders his troops to "retreat". The narration points out the troops' disbelief; whether it's called a retreat or a tactical withdrawal, they're still running away.

* Inverted in the fourth ''[[Artemis Fowl]]'' book, when Trouble Kelp orders his troops to "retreat". The narration points out the troops' disbelief; whether it's called a retreat or a tactical withdrawal, they're still running away.

** "It ain't got nothing to do with luck. Fortune delivered you into my hands."

* Becoming involved in the machinations of Contact in ''[[The Culture|Look To Windward]], Ziller suggests some of the Minds may be lying and is corrected by a Contact drone in an [[Expospeak Gag]] fashion:

{{quote| "Oh, they never lie. They dissemble, evade, prevaricate, confound, confuse, distract, obscure, subtly misrepresent and willfully misunderstand with what appears to be a positively gleeful relish and are generally perfectly capable of contriving to give one an utterly unambiguous impression of their future course of action while in fact intending to do exactly the opposite, but they never lie. Perish the thought."}}

* In ''[[~~Honor Harrington (Literature)|~~Honor Harrington]]'', when a Grayson makes a promise to a doomed man, the text states that it was not a promise, but an oath. Possibly justified, since Graysons are all highly religious.

* In ''[[Honor Harrington]]'', when a Grayson makes a promise to a doomed man, the text states that it was not a promise, but an oath. Possibly justified, since Graysons are all highly religious.

* ''[[The Belgariad]]'' has a lot of fun with this, particularly regarding nautical terms. Land-based characters are frequently called out on their use of "tip over" instead of "capsize", "right" instead of "starboard", and "boat" instead of "ship".

* ''[[Sherlock Holmes]]'' has this in ''The Adventure of Black Peter'':

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* Jim Trott from ''[[The Vicar of Dibley]]'': "No, no, no, no,no, ... Yes"

* ''[[Gossip Girl]]'': "Actually, it's hash. I find it gives a softer high."

* Inverted (sort of) in ''[[~~Firefly (TV)|~~Firefly]]'':

* Inverted (sort of) in ''[[Firefly]]'':

{{quote| '''Inara:''' Well, since I can't seem to find work as a Companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!

[An uncomfortable silence descends for a moment.]

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'''Inara:''' ...Suo-shee?

'''Mal:''' [[Bilingual Backfire|That's Chinese for "petty".]] }}

** Another ''[[~~Firefly (TV)|~~Firefly]]'' example, from "Objects In Space":

** Another ''[[Firefly]]'' example, from "Objects In Space":

{{quote| '''River:''' She understands. She doesn't comprehend.

'''Mal:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|Glad we have that cleared up]]. }}

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'''Simon''': Then what are you?

'''Jubal''': I'm a paid professional that is going to take back a wanted fugitive to the proper authorities. }}

* In ''[[The X Files]]'', Mulder once claimed "I would never lie. I willingly engaged in a campaign of misinformation."

* In ''[[The X-Files]]'', Mulder once claimed "I would never lie. I willingly engaged in a campaign of misinformation."

* Rigel from ''[[~~Farscape (TV)|~~Farscape]]'' insisted that he never retreats, but "strategically maneuvers".

* Rigel from ''[[Farscape]]'' insisted that he never retreats, but "strategically maneuvers".

** When once accused of "snurching"(Farscape-ese for stealing) he responds "I don't snurch, I... ''procure''."

* ''[[Hey Dude]]'':

* ''[[Hey, Dude!]]'':

{{quote| '''Buddy:''' Mom, Dad, I'm gonna lasso you two if you don't stop yelling!

'''Mr. Ernst:''' We're not yelling, Buddy, we're talking loudly.

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'''Dream-Riley:''' Props?

'''Dream-Giles:''' Yes! }}

* Sisko on ''[[Star Trek Deep Space Nine]]'': "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."

* Sisko on ''[[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]]'': "I wasn't yelling. I was expressing my opinion loudly." It seems to run in the family, as his father once claimed "I wasn't sleeping, I was checking my eyelids for holes."

** The Female Changeling, when declaring the need to pull back their forces, is accused of retreating by her Breen allies. She and Weyoun immediately try to spin it as a momentary withdrawal so they can build up their forces and attack again.

* From the ''[[~~Red Dwarf (TV)|~~Red Dwarf]]'' episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":

* From the ''[[Red Dwarf]]'' episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":

{{quote| '''Kryten:''' It's charging us with looting Space Corps derelicts.

'''Lister:''' But we don't loot Space Corps derelicts. We just hack our way in and swipe what we need!

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{{quote| '''Bassie''' (usually while drifting to sleep): I'll go look at that on the inside of my eyes.}}

** Usually this implied "I'm going to dream about that."

* Averted in ''[[Heroes (TV)|Heroes]]''.

* Averted in ''[[Heroes (TV series)|Heroes]]''.

{{quote| '''Sylar''': I'm not a [[Serial Killer]].

'''Sylar's son figure''': You kill people, you take souvenirs...

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== Professional Wrestling ==

* The ''[[~~WWE (Wrestling)|~~WWE]]'' uses the phrase "released to pursue future endeavors" as a much politer euphemism for "We fired his ass".

* The ''[[WWE]]'' uses the phrase "released to pursue future endeavors" as a much politer euphemism for "We fired his ass".

** There are also the the phrase: "WWE has come to terms with the release of [insert wrestlers name], we wish him/her the best in his/hers future endeavors." Not surprisingly, it has reached [[Memetic Mutation|meme status.]]

** In his series ''Wrestle! Wrestle!'', [[The Spoony Experiment ~~(Web Video)~~|Spoony]] uses "future endeavors" to mean "The company is screwing you up the ass, quit now while you still have your dignity".

** In his series ''Wrestle! Wrestle!'', [[The Spoony Experiment|Spoony]] uses "future endeavors" to mean "The company is screwing you up the ass, quit now while you still have your dignity".

* While normally just a case of [[Insistent Terminology]], whenever a <s>ring announcer</s> commentator or <s>wrestler</s> superstar verbally corrects their colleague about how to refer to <s>[[Professional Wrestling]]</s> Sports Entertainment, it starts slipping into this territory. Especially if it's blatant enough to get <s>the fans</s> The Universe to start booing about it.

== Tabletop Games ==

* The ''[[Magic ~~the~~ Gathering]]'' card [http://www.cardkingdom.com/catalog/item/68068 Coastal Piracy]: "I don't like to think of myself as a pirate. I'm more like a stimulator of the local economy."

* The ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' card [http://www.cardkingdom.com/catalog/item/68068 Coastal Piracy]: "I don't like to think of myself as a pirate. I'm more like a stimulator of the local economy."

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* ''[[Call of Duty]] 2'' has a mission called ''Retreat? We're Advancing in Another Direction''.

** ''[[World of Warcraft]]'' joins in on the fun. Victory over a certain encounter relies upon you running from a boss and escaping his fortress before he one-shot kills your entire party. The linked achievement for doing this in a certain time is "We're Not Retreating; We're Advancing In A Different Direction!"

* In the rerelease of ''[[~~Final Fantasy Tactics (Video Game)|~~Final Fantasy Tactics]]'', [[Final Fantasy XII ~~(Video Game)~~|Balthier]] clarifies for some bounty hunters: "I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate."

* In the rerelease of ''[[Final Fantasy Tactics]]'', [[Final Fantasy XII|Balthier]] clarifies for some bounty hunters: "I'm no thief. I'm a Sky Pirate."

** Because of Japanese linguistic conventions, the word "pirate" refers to one who is not in a Navy and not a fisherman - so it can also refer to people who claim salvage and seafaring (or skyfaring in this case) Treasure Hunters. Although he may be a thief as well, in Japanese media you can't assume Thief = Pirate.

** Similarly, in ''[[~~Final Fantasy VI (Video Game)|~~Final Fantasy VI]]'', Locke insists, "I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter!"

** Similarly, in ''[[Final Fantasy VI]]'', Locke insists, "I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter!"

* [[Lord Error-Prone|Yuan Shao]] in ''[[Dynasty Warriors]] 5'': "This is not a retreat! Rather, a move for my future!"

* Used in the PC adventure game ''The Dagger of Amon Ra'':

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* In ''[[Dawn of War]]: Winter Assault'', Chaos lord Crull celebrates his acquisition of an ancient weapon:

{{quote| Know this! What will come to pass is no longer war! It is endless sacrifice in His name. Blood for the Blood God... [[Large Ham|let the universe... droooOOOOOooown in it!]]}}

* ''[[The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword|Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword]]'': First the devlopers said that the girl in the early promotional art wasn't the Master Sword -- she was the Goddess Sword. ...Which becomes the Master Sword later.

* ''[[The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword|Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword]]'': First the devlopers said that the girl in the early promotional art wasn't the Master Sword -- she was the Goddess Sword. ...Which becomes the Master Sword later.

* In the first case of ''[[Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney]]'', prosecutor Winston Payne asks defendant Larry Butz if his ex-girlfriend, Cindy Stone (the murder victim in the case), broke up with him:

* In the first case of ''[[Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney]]'', prosecutor Winston Payne asks defendant Larry Butz if his ex-girlfriend, Cindy Stone (the murder victim in the case), broke up with him:

{{quote| '''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls...or seeing me...ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''

'''Payne:''' Mr. Butz, what you describe is generally what we mean by "dumped". }}

* In the ''[[Transformers (~~Film~~)|Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen]]'' game, this is used by Grindor to question [[The Starscream|Starscream's]] [[Dirty Coward|courage under fire]]:

* In the ''[[Transformers (film)|Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen]]'' game, this is used by Grindor to question [[The Starscream|Starscream's]] [[Dirty Coward|courage under fire]]:

{{quote| '''Grindor:''' I'm sorry, Starscream, I forgot: you don't retreat, you advance backwards!}}

* From ''[[Fallout New Vegas]]'':

* From ''[[Fallout: New Vegas]]'':

{{quote| '''Courier''': In the meantime, you'd rule Vegas as some kind of dictator?

'''Mr. House''': I prefer the term "autocrat". }}

** Also, from the Old World Blues DLC:

{{quote| '''Dr. Klein''': ''"I'm not going to harm it. I'm going to dissect it until it's dead!"''}}

* Inverted when you Ubercharge as Soldier in ''[[~~Team Fortress 2 (Video Game)|~~Team Fortress 2]]'':

* Inverted when you Ubercharge as Soldier in ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'':

{{quote| '''Soldier:''' We have you surround, at least from this side!}}

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* ''[[The Last Days of Foxhound]]''

{{quote| '''Ocelot:''' 'Torture' is such an '''inelegant''' word. [[Torture Technician|I'm an artist]]. [[Groin Attack|Their testicles are my canvas]].}}

* Haley from ''[[Order of the Stick ~~(Webcomic)~~|Order of the Stick]]'' isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."

* Haley from ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'' isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."

** She also describes Elan [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus] : "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired".

* ''[[~~Schlock Mercenary (Webcomic)|~~Schlock Mercenary]]''

* ''[[Schlock Mercenary]]''

{{quote| '''Petey:''' [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-11-17 "Spy" is such a short ugly word. I prefer "espionage." Those extra three syllables really say something.]}}

** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-14 Andy is not bait. He is flypaper.]

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== Web Original ==

* "Technically you could call me a [[Serial Killer]]. I don't know if that's the correct noun. Personally, I just think I'm a bloke who had a few people put down. I don't have [[Hearing Voices|any voices in my head, and I haven't got any]] [[Oedipus Complex|mother-love fantasies]]. Well, not really." ~ {{spoiler|Terrence}}, ''[[Kate Modern]]: The Last Work''

* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh ~~the~~ Abridged Series]]'':

* ''[[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series]]'':

{{quote| '''Joey:''' Shut up, Tristan! You just want to get into my sister's pants!

'''Tristan:''' No, I don't. I just want to ''have sex'' with her! (beat) Oh, [[Cloudcuckoolander|that's what you meant]]! }}

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== Western Animation ==

* In the little-known [[~~Dream Works~~]] Animation miniseries [[Invasion America]] when the evil Dragit attempts to capture the Cale Oosha so he can invade/conquer Earth, this exchange takes place:

* In the little-known [[DreamWorks]] Animation miniseries [[Invasion America]] when the evil Dragit attempts to capture the Cale Oosha so he can invade/conquer Earth, this exchange takes place:

{{quote| Cale: TREASON!

Dragit: Revolution. }}

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** From "''Diatribe of a Mad Housewife''":

{{quote| '''Homer:''' I didn't lie! I was writing fiction with my mouth!}}

* In one ''[[Aladdin (Disney)|Aladdin]]'' episode, Iago says "This isn't stealing! It's surplus inventory reduction!"

* In one ''[[Aladdin (Disney film)|Aladdin]]'' episode, Iago says "This isn't stealing! It's surplus inventory reduction!"

* "[[South Park|They're not pirate ghosts, they're]] ''[[South Park|ghost pirates!]]''". The distinction, apparently, is that a ghost pirate is the ghost of a pirate, whereas a pirate ghost is a ghost that decided to become a pirate.

* In an episode of the ''[[Super Mario World (~~Animation~~)|Super Mario World]]'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just...not know where he is."

* In an episode of the ''[[Super Mario World (animation)|Super Mario World]]'' cartoon, Oogtar puts it plain and simple. "Oogtar not lost! Oogtar just...not know where he is."

** Also this exchange:

{{quote| '''Oogtar:''' Oogtar not run. Oogtar jogging for health!

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'''Pirate''': We prefer to think of ourselves as "high-risk traders." }}

* Drakken of ''[[Kim Possible]]'' once decided to start outsourcing instead of stealing... yeah.

* In ''[[Dan Vs]]'' "The Bank," Dan reassures Chris that they won't go to jail for robbing the bank. Prison, probably, but not jail.

* In ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' "The Bank," Dan reassures Chris that they won't go to jail for robbing the bank. Prison, probably, but not jail.

* An episode of ''[[The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy]]'' gives us this little exchange:

{{quote| '''Billy:''' [[No Indoor Voice|GRIM]]! Guess what I got on our camping trip! Guess guess guess guess guess!!