Oz/Funny: Difference between revisions

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* Beecher's first [[Hannibal Lecture]] to Schillinger at the end of season 1, where he threatens to mess up his parole by pulling him into a brawl. His sarcasm is gold.
* Beecher's first [[Hannibal Lecture]] to Schillinger at the end of season 1, where he threatens to mess up his parole by pulling him into a brawl. His sarcasm is gold.
* O'Reily's time in the hole. Quick montage of the effect it's taking on his mentality, culminating in him turning into a raging madman. Then the guard comes in.
* O'Reily's time in the hole. Quick montage of the effect it's taking on his mentality, culminating in him turning into a raging madman. Then the guard comes in.
{{quote| '''Guard''':Time's up.<br />
{{quote|'''Guard''':Time's up.
'''O'Reily''': (casually gets to his feet) Piece of cake. }}
'''O'Reily''': (casually gets to his feet) Piece of cake. }}
* "You have ten minutes to get your hand off my dick."
* "You have ten minutes to get your hand off my dick."
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* Shirley Bellinger calmly telling Warden Glynn that the guard leading her off to be executed has been "coming into my cell every night and fucking me."
* Shirley Bellinger calmly telling Warden Glynn that the guard leading her off to be executed has been "coming into my cell every night and fucking me."
* Adebisi getting rejected by Shirley Bellinger because he's black. His reaction is priceless plus Pancamo teases him about it once.
* Adebisi getting rejected by Shirley Bellinger because he's black. His reaction is priceless plus Pancamo teases him about it once.
{{quote| '''Adebisi:''' "Suck my dick now..."}}
{{quote|'''Adebisi:''' "Suck my dick now..."}}
* The black death row inmate who punches through the cell wall on which his racist neighbor is painting a self-portrait and throttles him to death single-handed.
* The black death row inmate who punches through the cell wall on which his racist neighbor is painting a self-portrait and throttles him to death single-handed.
* Omar White insisting on an apology from Tim McManus after he put the latter in hospital. Again.
* Omar White insisting on an apology from Tim McManus after he put the latter in hospital. Again.
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* Busmalis claiming that Cloutier cured His Sister of Leprosy.When Keller and Rebadow give Him a disbelieving look,He merely says "Pneumonia?"
* Busmalis claiming that Cloutier cured His Sister of Leprosy.When Keller and Rebadow give Him a disbelieving look,He merely says "Pneumonia?"
* Robson's dental surgery, though it later becomes [[Nightmare Fuel]] for Robson.
* Robson's dental surgery, though it later becomes [[Nightmare Fuel]] for Robson.
{{quote| '''Dr Faraj:''' "It's amazing. I mean we don't even know where this gum tissue came from. It could be a kike, a spic, maybe even a faggot."<br />
{{quote|'''Dr Faraj:''' "It's amazing. I mean we don't even know where this gum tissue came from. It could be a kike, a spic, maybe even a faggot."
''Robson garbles "Not a faggot!"''<br />
''Robson garbles "Not a faggot!"''
'''Dr Faraj:''' "I mean you could be getting the ''beautiful'' gums of a ''big'', ''black'' NIGGER."<br />
'''Dr Faraj:''' "I mean you could be getting the ''beautiful'' gums of a ''big'', ''black'' NIGGER."
''Fade out on Robson's horrified expression.'' }}
''Fade out on Robson's horrified expression.'' }}
** Even funnier afterwards, in the cafeteria:
** Even funnier afterwards, in the cafeteria:
{{quote| '''Robson:''' "Just soup"<br />
{{quote|'''Robson:''' "Just soup"
'''Poet:''' "Sure you don't want some chitterlings and gravy to go with that?"<br />
'''Poet:''' "Sure you don't want some chitterlings and gravy to go with that?"
''O'Reily, Poet, and the kitchen staff laugh. Robson looks worried. O'Reily gets the attention of the whole hall.''<br />
''O'Reily, Poet, and the kitchen staff laugh. Robson looks worried. O'Reily gets the attention of the whole hall.''
'''O'Reiley:''' "Everyone listen up! Robson went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums!"<br />
'''O'Reiley:''' "Everyone listen up! Robson went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums!"
''The hall erupts in laughter''<br />
''The hall erupts in laughter''
'''Schillinger:''' "Shut up you goddamn nigger, just give him some soup!"<br />
'''Schillinger:''' "Shut up you goddamn nigger, just give him some soup!"
'''Poet:''' "Whoa, you gonna take that G? Man calling your brother a nigger and all." }}
'''Poet:''' "Whoa, you gonna take that G? Man calling your brother a nigger and all." }}
* The following: (Also doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for Ryan).
* The following: (Also doubles as a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for Ryan).
{{quote| (O'Reily lost his hair because he had cancer)<br />
{{quote|(O'Reily lost his hair because he had cancer)
'''Aryan''': Hey, O'Reily, you trying to look like us?<br />
'''Aryan''': Hey, O'Reily, you trying to look like us?
'''Ryan''': Yeah, I'm trying to be ugly. }}
'''Ryan''': Yeah, I'm trying to be ugly. }}
* Investigator Burrano asks Rebadow why he didn't tell Nino Schibetta not to seek revenge for Ortolani's murder when God told him to.
* Investigator Burrano asks Rebadow why he didn't tell Nino Schibetta not to seek revenge for Ortolani's murder when God told him to.
{{quote| '''Rebadow''': Just 'cause I talk to God doesn't mean I'm crazy.}}
{{quote|'''Rebadow''': Just 'cause I talk to God doesn't mean I'm crazy.}}
* Schillinger flipping out when his name is mispronounced for the umpteenth time.
* Schillinger flipping out when his name is mispronounced for the umpteenth time.
{{quote| '''Schillinger''': Schillinger! God damn it, Schillinger! I've been here nine fucking years, you'd think you'd figure out how to say my fucking name!}}
{{quote|'''Schillinger''': Schillinger! God damn it, Schillinger! I've been here nine fucking years, you'd think you'd figure out how to say my fucking name!}}
* This little exchange between the inmates in solitary:
* This little exchange between the inmates in solitary:
{{quote| '''Clayton Hughes:''' "Robson you are one ugly motherfucker."<br />
{{quote|'''Clayton Hughes:''' "Robson you are one ugly motherfucker."
'''James Robson:''' "I don't see you modeling in Milan... you black bitch."<br />
'''James Robson:''' "I don't see you modeling in Milan... you black bitch."
'''Miguel Alvarez:''' (Shot from behind with his pants down) "Hey shut the fuck up, I'm tryin' to masturbate!"<br />
'''Miguel Alvarez:''' (Shot from behind with his pants down) "Hey shut the fuck up, I'm tryin' to masturbate!"
'''Hughes:''' "Hey fuck you Alvarez!"<br />
'''Hughes:''' "Hey fuck you Alvarez!"
'''Random CO:''' "Shut up! Warden on deck!" (Warden Glynn walks in)<br />
'''Random CO:''' "Shut up! Warden on deck!" (Warden Glynn walks in)
'''Alvarez:''' "Hey Warden you get me excited! Why don't you hold my dick?" }}
'''Alvarez:''' "Hey Warden you get me excited! Why don't you hold my dick?" }}
* Rebadow tying his little kerchief around his head rambo-style, doing sit ups while quoting Sun Tzu's ''The Art of War'', and then miserably failing to kill Busmalis in what basically amounts to two confused old men fumbling around in the dark.
* Rebadow tying his little kerchief around his head rambo-style, doing sit ups while quoting Sun Tzu's ''The Art of War'', and then miserably failing to kill Busmalis in what basically amounts to two confused old men fumbling around in the dark.
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