Parental Favoritism: Difference between revisions

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It's tough being a kid in Fiction Land. Bad enough when you're an only child, but if you're among a pack of siblings, this particular trope is nearly guaranteed to raise its head at some point in order to make life even more difficult.

 

 

 

Sometimes, there may be more than one "favorite," or the mother and father will have different "favorites," making life even more of a headache for their siblings.

* Birth Order

** The oldest child is favoured because they are the firstborn/family heir. Tends to apply more to sons than daughters, since old inheritance laws favour boys over girls. This is found more often in fantasy or historical literature, where these laws have a real impact on how the family is run. Sometimes, the oldest child may have a huge set of standards thrown on them, but other times, an overachiever will set ''other'' standards for the younger ones.

** Middle children can often get a rough deal; very rarely are they the family favourite, unless they do something really outstanding to explain it. [[Middle Child Syndrome]], as it's known, is a [[Truth in Television|real life phenomenon]], that some psychologists are studying today.

** Occasionally, the parent(s) will favor a child who shares their own place in the birth order over the other children, due to their own childhood experiences with their siblings. For example, a parent who was bullied by their older siblings as a child being more likely to take the side of the younger child, regardless of the older sibling's guilt or innocence.

** If there is one daughter and several sons, she will probably be the "baby" of the family regardless of birth order (possible exception if she is the oldest sibling, in which case she'll be de facto babysitter). Strangely, brothers are seldom shown as resenting their sister—in fact, they'll "defend her honor" more ferociously than their parents will. Any potential boyfriends are in for a hard time.

* Personality

* Biological vs. Adoption

** It hardly needs mentioning that dozens of [[Fairy Tale|fairy tales]] (notably "[[Cinderella (novel)|Cinderella]]") involve stepchildren mistreated by their parents in favor of their biological children. This is pretty much a [[Discredited Trope]] today; more commonly, you have an adopted child who suffers some perceived slight from his stepparent and must be reassured that he is loved just as much as the parent's natural children.

In fact, the obligatory "talk with the parents" is normally part of a '''Parental Favoritism''' plot...but that does not guarantee it will solve anything. If the writer is trying to [[Hand Wave]] the glaring bias of the parents, there will be a scene where mum and dad will give a long speech on how they value all their kids equally, and will tell the [[The Unfavourite|un-favorite]] child that making them live in the basement and forcing them to bow whenever their little brother enters a room is really a mark of their esteem. The words "you're the responsible one" will probably be mentioned in some form. A more realistic version is where the big talk is honest, and the parent doesn't bother trying to justify their actions, but do realise they were wrong and attempt to make amends. This is regularly done to "humanise" the hitherto parents—but it's probably too late. By the time of the talk, most of the audience will already be set against the parents, and it'll take a hell of a lot of good writing to redeem them. But if the parents have clearly realized their foolishness and have shown to be really sorry, then this MAY take a lot of weight off them.

 

 

This is all too often [[Truth in Television]].

 

{{examples}}

* Implied in an ad for Invisalign Teen. Twin teenagers both need braces; however, their mother gets Invisalign for one daughter and regular braces for the other. [[The Unfavorite]] spends the commerical complaining about all the limitations of her headgear, while the favored daughter gloats and rubs her face in how she ''doesn't'' have to deal with all those issues. [[Sarcasm Mode|Thanks, Mom]].

* A DVR ad has it to where a mother and father openly admit in front of their son that their daughter is their favorite child without a hint of remorse. Then casually suggest they just give him the last video slot simply because "that's the best he is going to get".

* Another commercial for Guiness uses the same premise; two parents tell their adult son he's their least favorite child, to the point that he's not only under his siblings, but also the dog and their fine China. But they buy him a case of Guiness to make up for it.

 

* Why Ken partially resented his older brother in ''[[Digimon Adventure 02]]''. Not only was he the younger sibling, and thus overlooked for the firstborn, Osamu was also a child prodigy and a media darling. This ensured that Ken never got the kind of attention he desperately wanted from his parents. It didn't help matters much when {{spoiler|Osamu died in an accident}}, and his parents were too caught up in {{spoiler|their grief to notice Ken even after that}}. After he's manipulated into more or less selling his soul in the Digital World, he gains the prodigy aspect his brother had, and his parents apparently begin to love him... {{spoiler|but only as a shadow of what they once had with Osamu. It took him vanishing into the Digital World with the intent to stay there permanently, then returning in the midst of a complete mental breakdown, for them to finally begin loving him as Ken.}}

* Ootori Kyouya is victim of a subtle version in ''[[Ouran High School Host Club]]''. As the youngest of three sons in a rich family, he is expected by his father to perform at respectable standards, but never to do anything to one-up his brothers, who will inherit the Ootori business empire.

** His sister also seems to get this treatment to some extent. She's admonished for returning home when she is happily married and has no real business to be there. This has the Ootori family fulfill two of the criteria. She, however, seems to ignore it and act cheery nonetheless, going out with Tamaki on occasion to explore the world of commoner cuisine.

* Taken to extremes in ''[[Saiyuki]]''. Gojyo is a 'child of taboo,' raised by his stepmother and half-brother. She eventually attempted to kill him, but her biological son killed her first.

* In ''[[Naruto]]'' we see in the flashbacks that Fugaku Uchiha preferred his older, genius son Itachi to the younger Sasuke, saying several times to Sasuke that he wanted Sasuke to become a shinobi like Itachi.

** In the [[Fullmetal Alchemist (anime)|2003 anime version]], this is the reason for Envy's hatred of the Elric brothers; he is the homunculus created by their father in an attempt to revive his firstborn son, and he was cast aside when he came back as a "monster".

* Part of [[Aloof Big Brother|Sesshomaru]]'s backstory in [[Inuyasha]] is that he resented his father for being disappointed in his heartless son Sesshomaru, while giving his life to save the infant Inuyasha (and his mother).

* In ''[[+Anima]]'', the Royal Family of Sailand is a perfect example of Favoritism. {{spoiler|In fact, it's most likely why Husky was named Crown Prince out of birth order.}}

* [[Neon Genesis Evangelion]] gives us an odd case. Gendo shows no love or affection to Shinji, but is almost uncharacteristically fond of Rei, who he treats as an adoptive daughter. {{spoiler|The reason he's fond of Rei however is because she resembles his dead wife, and in the end, both the children are little more than pawns to him toward resurrecting her. Before his death however, Gendo admits that he secretly held great love for Shinji in his heart, but was simply too afraid to face it.}}

* There's a case of Grandparental Favouritism in ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]''; Grandpa Rome raised Italy Veneziano, but ignored his brother Romano because Veneziano was more talented. He left his money to Romano, but this only increased Romano's sense of being [[The Unfavorite]], as in his youth he was convinced the money was the only reason anyone would want him.

 

* Dick Grayson/Nightwing has been noted to be [[Batman]]'s favoured son, also being the first Robin.

* Harry Osborn from the [[Spider-Man (film)|Spiderman films]], [[Ultimate Spider-Man]] and [[The Spectacular Spider-Man]], which is an interesting case since he is an only child. His father Norman Osborn prefers his friend and fellow intellect Peter Parker over his own son.

* Marvel's Thor is clearly his father's Odin's favorite. This goes to an insane level when in Fear Itself he is willing to destroy the entire Earth for Thor's sake. He never went that far for Loki or even Baldur, the latter of whom didn't even know he was one of Odin's sons until fairly recently. Let's not even get into Loki's problems from all of this...

 

* [[Tokyo Mew Mew No Hope Left]] has this trope in spades at the beginning. The [[Mary Sue|protagonist's]] parents are described as preening her older sister and sending her to a fancy school, while forgetting that our heroine exists.

 

* Played for laughs in Disney's ''[[Robin Hood (Disney film)|Robin Hood]]'' by the childish Prince John.

{{quote|'''Prince John''': Mother always liked Richard best...}}

** Which might possibly have been [[Truth in Television]]; it's been suggested by many historians that Richard was the favorite child of their mother, Eleanor of Aquitaine, while John was the favorite of their father, Henry II.

* In ''[[Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'', Woody belives he is [[The Unfavourite]] when Andy received Buzz in the first film. But by the third film, it was clear that Andy's favourite toy was Woody.

* [[Subverted Trope|Subverted]] in ''[[Repo! The Genetic Opera]]''. Rotti Largo is utterly disappointed with all three of his grown-up children, and starts looking among the children of his employees for a worthy heir.

** More specifically, the daughter of his former protégé and his ex-fiancée.

* In ''[[A.I.: Artificial Intelligence]]'', the robot child a couple uses to replace their comatose son becomes [[The Unfavorite]] when their real child wakes up from his coma.

* ''[[Walk Hard]]: The Dewey Cox Story'': The fact that Dewey Cox's father is fond of reminding Dewey that "the wrong kid died" when discussing Dewey's deceased older brother is a pretty good indication of where Dewey stands on the pecking order.

* John feels like this in ''[[The Lion in Winter]]'' as well:

* Played painfully straight in [[The Feast Of All Saints]], where Cecile overtly favors her son Marcel and barely tolerates her daughter Marie, largely because she is jealous of Marie's beauty. This culminates with {{spoiler|Cecile attacking Marie when the latter comes home after being gang raped.}} Near the end of the movie, Cecile even says she wishes Marie was dead and asks Marcel to pass along the message.

 

* [[The Bible|Biblical]] example: The story of Joseph and his brothers. Jacob favored Joseph because of his resemblance to Jacob's favourite wife (he had two, as well as both of their maids, all of whom he'd had children by), who had died. The multi-coloured coat (actually a translation error—it reads "long-sleeved" in most modern translations) was proof of Jacob's favor. All things considered, it's probably not surprising that his brothers wanted to teach Joseph a lesson, especially when he bragged about dreams in which his brothers were made to bow down before him. Benjamin, Jacob's other son by that wife, was second-favorite, but his position as the youngest meant all the other brothers protected him. This makes the trope at least [[Older Than Feudalism]].

** Actually, it's claimed that Joseph looked just like Jacob. And the coat is originally described as a striped coat, no more. The idea that Joseph looked like Rachel probably came from the musical.

** And Theon gets the short end of the stick ''again'' when, feeling unwelcome in Winterfell, he tries to go back home to Pyke. After Balon's oldest boys were killed and the youngest taken hostage in punishment for a failed rebellion, he was left with his daughter Asha. Not surprisingly, Balon doesn't welcome the son who was raised by his enemies, but he absolutely dotes on Asha.

* Katie Nolan of ''[[A Tree Grows in Brooklyn]]'' knows when she gives birth to her son Neely that she'll love him more than her daughter Francie, but promises she won't show it. She rationalizes much of her favoritism by saying that Neely needs more encouragement, while Francie is strong like her and will get what she wants somehow. For example, when she can only afford to send one of the kids to high school, she says it should be Neely because he won't go unless she makes him, but Francie will get an education because she wants it.

* In Lynda Robinson's Lord Meren mysteries, it is revealed in ''Murder at the Feast of Rejoicing'' that Meren, the eldest son, was put under great pressure to excel by his [[Abusive Parents|AbusiveFather]], while his younger brother Ra was indulged and spoiled.

* [[J. K. Rowling]]'s ''[[Harry Potter]]'': Harry endured some pretty extreme abuse at the hands of his aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon, while his cousin Dudley was extremely pampered, owed at least in part to a long-held jealousy Petunia held of his mother.

{{quote|''Here he was, the reason and root of her inability to embrace the cause of the Icemark, her family, humanity, the mortal world…everything! She wasn't responsible for her actions. Sharley was.''}}

 

* Subverted in many ways on ''[[Frasier]]''—brothers Frasier and Niles were each convinced that the other was their parents' favourite, which resulted in the intense and petty sibling rivalry that they each suffer from in adulthood. It's often made clear, however, that their parents didn't play favourites (and in fact their father Martin in many ways considered ''both'' of them his ''least'' favourite, as they were so completely different from and diametrically opposed to him) and that all this was just their own insecurities acting.

* Played with in ''[[Supernatural]]''. Throughout Season One, Sam thinks that John hates him (when he left for college, he told him to never come back) while Dean is the one who obsessively follows his Dad's orders and can't seem to comprehend not following an order. But it's slowly revealed that Sam is the one who John cares the most about (although this could just be through the eyes of Dean) while Dean is the one who had to grow up too fast and was treated, well, more like a soldier than a son. Although John ''did'' try to make it up by doing a deal to save Dean's life, Dean's Daddy Issues (the fact that he still thinks he wasn't good enough for him and that he still thinks he's the one who should have died) continue to this very day.

** And the Yellow-Eyed Demon knows this. He even taunts Dean by saying that John arguing with Sam was 'more concern than he's ever shown you.'

* ''[[Everybody Loves Raymond]]''. Even the show title suggests so. Robert always gets the short end of the stick from their parents.

* Some episodes of ''[[Wife Swap]]'' have a family in which one or both of the parents have obvious favorite children. Normally the wife of the other family points this out to the father and adds rules pampering [[The Unfavorite]] during the rules change. Generally the family learns their lesson in the end and is shown treating their children more equally in the "where are they now?" ending.

* ''[[The West Wing]]'' presents something of the parent's point of view; President Bartlet clearly has a much more difficult relationship with his middle daughter Ellie as opposed to his eldest Elizabeth and particularly his youngest daughter Zoe, but when accused of this trope, Bartlet angrily denies that he "loves any of his children less than the others".

* Miley's grandmother in ''[[Hannah Montana]]'' feels that her brother Jackson got the short end of the stick being the normal brother of a world famous pop star, and so she tries to make up for it by openly admitting that he's her favorite. For instance, she blows off Miley's visit with the queen of England to see Jackson's volleyball game. In the same episode, we're shown that Jackson think's Miley's the world's favorite (including their father's), as she gets all the attention, being an international pop star.

* [[Smallville|Lionel Luthor]] only cares about his male line. Granted, he doesn't seem to care much about them either, but [[Alternate Universe|Earth-2 Lionel]] certainly cares more about his Earth-1 counterpart's son Lex than his daughter Tess, since he declares that her only purpose as a Luthor is to {{spoiler|[[Offing the Offspring|die]] so that Lionel can take her heart and use it to bring Lex back to life.}}

 

* In the world of the ''[[Fighting Fantasy]]'' gamebooks published by Puffin in the 1980s through to the 1990s, the wealthy ruler of the city of Fang blatantly favors his elder son Sukumvit over his younger son Carnuss, making Carnuss develop a searing hatred for his brother. When Sukumvit becomes ruler of Fang on his father's death, he constructs the deadly Deathtrap Dungeon as a private hobby, challenging adventurers to try and survive going through it for a 10,000 gold piece prize. An embittered Carnuss sees a chance at getting revenge on his hated brother, and begins kidnapping people to test them until he can find someone tough enough to send as his champion to penetrate the dungeon and humiliate his brother.

 

* In ''[[Death of a Salesman]]'', Willy favors Biff over Happy.

* In ''[[King Lear]]'', Lear favors Cordelia over his other daughters, until she refuses to praise him as lavishly as her sisters. Of course, given Goneril and Regan's behavior, he probably had good reason to like Cordelia best.

** The book suggests he might just blame Elphaba for that just a bit. And the fact that she can't bathe in water is a real pain in the twees too. Oh! And the sharp teeth. The deck's just kind of stacked against Elphaba here.

** In the book, there's another reason. Nessa shares his religious zeal, moreso than Elphaba or their brother, Shell. That may be a chicken and egg situation, though.

 

== [[Video Games]] ==

* This is actually a game mechanic in ''[[F.E.A.R.]] 3'''s cooperative campaign. Whichever brother has the highest score at the end of the campaign is deemed Alma's favorite, and {{spoiler|will kill/consume the other}}.

 

** In a later example, Elan's father Tarquin favours Elan over his other son [[Evil Twin|Nale]], even though Elan is [[Character Alignment|the opposite alignment of both himself and Nale]]. Not only is Elan a lot closer to Tarquin in mentality, but Tarquin doesn't find Nale's [[It's All About Me|egomania]], arrogance and short-sightedness ([[The Starscream|which led to Nale trying to kill him just to satisfy his own ego]]) to be very conductive to a healthy father-son relationship. {{spoiler|Elan may want to kill him too, but at least he's got a good ''reason'' for it instead of "I want to be in charge".}}

* An unusual case in ''[[Misfile]]'', Ash Upton manages to be on both sides of the Parental Favoritism divide thanks to Rumisiel's little [[Ret-Gone|filing mishap]]. As a [[Gender Bender|boy, she]] had no contact with her mother and her relationship with her father was distant at best (his plans for Ash's summer vacation apparently involved re-roofing the house). As a girl she has a close relationship with both parents who are much more involved in her life. [[Cursed with Awesome|For some reason]] [[Wangst|she feels this sucks]].

** Also a subversion, as the change was due completely to Ash's actions. {{spoiler|In Ash's past (s)he wrote a letter to his/her mom. As a boy, masculine pride made him throw it away. As a girl, the letter was sent.}}

* A humorous variant is found in ''[[Something*Positive]]''. Fred MacIntire has two (living) biological children, Davan and Dahlia, and an adopted daughter, Monette. His fourth "child" is Davan's [[Platonic Life Partners|friend PeeJee]], who lives with them; one strip has him admitting that ''she's'' his favorite. It's [[Played for Laughs]], of course, as it's made remarkably clear through all the [[Deadpan Snarker]] dialogue that Fred's actually a damn good father.

* In the ''[[Nuzlocke Comics]]'', Norman shows favoritism to "Good-Ruby", a Vigoroth that he dresses in a hat similar to Ruby's, over Ruby.

* In [[Batman and Sons]], Batman obviously favors [[Batman Beyond|Terry]] over Dick, Jason, or Tim. Most likely due to him being Batman's only biological son (and thus, another Batman).

** This might not be biological favouritism so much as Terry (being a baby) not having the ability to backtalk yet like the older boys. The kids can be very blunt about how messed up Batman is (much to his annoyance) but Terry's the only one who can't say it yet.

 

 

== [[Western Animation]] ==

* One episode of ''[[American Dad]]'' had Stan trying to insist that Francine's (adoptive) parents did not love her as much as they loved their biological daughter, Gwen. Francine starts to believe it when Stan finds her parents will leaving all their stuff to Gwen. But later the father reveals that {{spoiler|they only left everything to Gwen because she's apparently a moron and needed all the help she could get, while they knew Francine was already well-taken care of because she married a good man}}.

 

* The memoirs ''Chinese Cinderella'' and ''Falling Leaves'' by Adeline Yen Mah tell the story of how she was victimized at the bottom of the pile in her family. She and her other siblings are treated far worse than her step-siblings, her especially for being the youngest and the one to whom their mother died giving birth. The family does some extremely cruel things to her, from giving her pet duckling to an untrained dog to maul, to sending her to a boarding school in a war-torn city which has been evacuated, in the hope that she will die there.

* Both [[Oda Nobunaga]] and [[Date Masumune]] had to fought a civil war within their domains during their early career that are the result of this. In either case, while the (late) fathers supported them, their mothers disliked them for a reason—for Oda, his wildness; and for Date, his blindness in one eye—and would prefer their younger brothers to succeed the position.

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Narrative Devices]]

[[Category:Sibling Tropes]]

[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]

[[Category:Abuse Tropes]]