Proper Lady: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}{{Needs Image}}

{{quote|''"[The perfect wife] was intensely sympathetic. She was immensely charming. She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed daily. [...] Above all, she was pure."''|'''[[Virginia Woolf]]'''}}

What is a '''Proper Lady'''? Also known as a "real lady", a "true lady", simply a "lady", or an "[[angel in the house]]" in Victorian-era works, she's the perfect lady in the Western (and especially Victorian British) mindset, and in that related to [[Yamato Nadeshiko]], who is the perfect lady in the Japanese mindset. The two ideals share many, many qualities. A Proper Lady is like a mythical creature or an unattainable ideal, often referred to, but rarely seen. Actual Proper Lady characters are largely a [[Forgotten Trope]] by now, and modern ones are likely to be accused of being [[Purity Sue|Purity Sues]]s. However, Proper Ladies were widely used in Victorian and earlier literature. [[Jane Austen]] was one of the first authors that introduced such qualities to heroines that did not fit into the strictest view of what is acceptable of a Proper Lady, beginning the slow death of this trope. The last time it was seen alive was around the 1950's.

A Proper Lady is a gentle yet strong being, [[Incorruptible Pure Pureness|incorruptible]] and [[Chaste Hero|pure like the driven snow]] and Madonna-like in her virtues. She sacrifices herself for the better of her family, religion, and country. She is intelligent enough to [[Apron Matron|smoothly run a household]], and [[The Consigliere|wisely spends her husband's money]] for the better of her family, never guilty of negligence or selfish frivolity. She possesses the wit, taste and esprit necessary to be [[Socialite|a star of Society]], and never crosses the border of good taste and civility. She is devoted and loyal, never treacherous or scheming. Her manners are never less than impeccable, and her good will and charity are a beacon to those lucky enough to live around her. She is perfectly groomed, likely [[Beauty Equals Goodness|beautiful]] or at least comely (while the female antagonist will be [[Beauty Is Bad|more beautiful]] and [[Evil Is Sexy|appealing]]). However, [[True Beauty Is Onon the Inside|more important than her personal looks is her gentle smile]]. Because small size is endearing (and allows for protective embraces from her lucky husband or fiancé), she will probably be [[Fun Size|on the shorter side]]. Chances are that she is an [[English Rose]], especially with [[Raven Hair, Ivory Skin|dark hair and fair skin]]. [[Parasol of Prettiness]] is a typical prop.

A Proper Lady might [[Distressed Damsel in Distress|not always be able to defend herself]], but should in most cases possess the strength of mind to not panic, and [[The Determinator|the willpower]] to never give in to any [[Fate Worse Than Death|vile demands]].

She is ''always'' [[Blue Blood|upper class]] and nearly always [[Housewife|married, often a mother]]. She might also be a ''[http://en.[wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_era:Victorian era#Prostitution |redundant woman]]'', in which case she will not be bitter about never getting married, and will instead direct her motherly instincts for the better of [[Maiden Aunt|her sister's or brother's family]]. Lower class women and maidens can have many qualities of a Proper Lady, and should, per this trope and the ideals behind it, aim to be as like her as possible.

There is no upper age limit to being a Proper Lady. Widowed ladies might easily be double-qualify as [[Determined Widow|Determined Widows]]s. If a lady dies at high age, her death will be dignified, probably caused by old age, and if she [[Too Good for This Sinful Earth|dies young]] (of [[Victorian Novel Disease|nothing too unsightly]]), it will be a heartbreaking tragedy. Her absence will leave behind a great void and she will be dearly missed by not only family members and friends, but also by those who only occasionally had the fortune to be graced with her presence.

* [[English Rose]] - another typically British character with similar properties; popular standard for a [['''Proper Lady]]''''s looks

* [[Lady of Adventure]]: [['''Proper Lady]]''' meets [[Glory Seeker]]

* [[Lady of War]]: [['''Proper Lady]]''' or [[Spirited Young Lady]] meets [[Action Girl]].

* [[Silk Hiding Steel]] - A [['''Proper Lady]]''' who is able and willing to take an active role

* [[The Woman Wearing the Queenly Mask]] - [['''Proper Lady]]''' meets [[Iron Lady]], add self sacrifice according to taste

{{examples|Examples:}}

** William's mother Aurelia is a weird case. She has the status and loveable nature of a [[Proper Lady]], but also lacks the social and entertaining skills she would have needed to appeal to the London society. Despite everything, she is content to attend social life with her husband to make him appear the best he could even while she silently hates the whole thing. A wearying life filled with social obligations, combined with the strain of having children, made Aurelia physically ill. She is saved from the standard tragic death, but has to leave London and basically abandon her family in order to save their face.

* [[Axis Powers Hetalia]] has [[Token Mini MoeLoli|Liechtenstein]], a [[Proper Lady]] from Europe. She's humble, kind, quiet, deferring yet not completely submissive to her brother Switzerland, very mature for a young nation, and quite competent at housework.

* [[Windaria (Anime)|Windaria]] Marie is a grand example of a honest and wholesome young lady. She's also Alan's [[Housewife]], except she helps him sell their vegetables at market

== [[Oral TraditionLiterature]] ==

* Melanie Wilkes in ''[[Gone Withwith the Wind]]''. Even the feisty Scarlett who originally disliked her comes to love and miss her. Rhett Butler claims to respect Melanie deeply.

* Hortense in ''[[Small Island (Literature)|Small Island]]'' - she thinks this is how all British women of any class act, but takes it to such an extent that British people think she's weird.

* Esther Summerson, from [[Charles Dickens (Creator)|Charles Dickens]]' ''[[Bleak House]]'', is a Victorian English specimen. She's kind, modest, sensible, and domestically competent, but too down-to-earth to be a [[Purity Sue]].

* Katy in the ''[[What Katy Did]]'' novels by Susan Coolidge is a [[Tomboy]] who learns to be a [[Proper Lady]].

* Agnes from ''[[David Copperfield (novel)|David Copperfield]]'' is beautiful and good enough to get [[Purity Sue]] accusations.

{{quote| '''Sire Thomas:''' I had thought you peculiarly free from wilfulness of temper, self-conceit, and every tendency to that independence of spirit which prevails so much in modern days, [[Plucky Girl|even in young women]], and which in young women is offensive and disgusting beyond all common offence. But you have now shewn me that you can be wilful and perverse; that you can and will decide for yourself, without any consideration or deference for those who have surely some right to guide you, without even asking their advice. [[Hidden Depths|You have shewn yourself very, very different from anything that I had imagined.]]}}

* Elizabeth "Beth" March evolves from a [[Fragile Flower]] into this in the second part of ''[[Little Women]]'' {{spoiler|before dying.}} May have taken it after her mother, Margaret aka Marmee, who is this too after having been more [[Hot -Blooded]] in her youth - but with more emphasis in wisdom and strong will than humility and kindness.

** Don't forget Margaret aka Meg, Beth's eldest sister who plays [[Team Mom]] ''and'' [[Proper Lady]] to her three little sisters (Beth, [[Spirited Young Lady]] Jo, and [[Spoiled Brat]] Amy), and her friends (the [[Spoiled Sweet]], but borderline [[Brainless Beauty|Brainless Beauties]] Annie and Belle)

* Sophie in the [[Aubrey -Maturin]] series, contrasted with her [[Spirited Young Lady]] cousin Diana.

* Maria Clara de los Santos, the female lead and [[Love Interest]] in [[Useful Notes/Philippines|Filipino national hero Jose Rizal]]'s novel ''[[Noli Me Tangere]]'', is promoted as such. Being religious, the epitome of virtue, “demure and self-effacing” and endowed with beauty, grace, and charm, she was promoted by Rizal as the “ideal image” of a Filipino woman who deserves to be placed on the “pedestal of male honor” (and she apparently was an [[Expy]] or Rizal's real life love, Leonor Rivera). Modern readers and authors, however, have noted the [[Values Dissonance]] since poor Maria Clara also was "chaste, masochistic and easily fainting", calling her the "greatest misfortune that has befallen the Filipina in the last one hundred years".

* Esme Cullen from ''[[Twilight (Literaturenovel)|Twilight]]'', also the [[Team Mom]] and [[Hot Mom]].

== [[Music]] ==

* The [[Ancient Greece|Ancient Greek]] concept of ''arete'' (virtue/excellence) as applied to women matches all the values of the [[Proper Lady]], making this [[Older Than Feudalism]]. Odysseus' wife Penelope from the ancient epic ''[[The Odyssey (Literature)|The Odyssey]]'' was presented as the [[Ur Example]].

** The [http[wikipedia://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hera |Goddess Hera/Juno]] is the Greek patron deity of women and marriage, so she's supposed to be this; however, considering [[Clingy Jealous Girl|her]] [[Woman Scorned|behavior]] whenever [[Handsome Lech|Zeus]] cheats on her (and man, [[Really Gets Around|does he cheat on her]]), she comes off as a [[Yandere]] instead. Her sister [http[wikipedia://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hestia |Hestia/Vesta]], [[Virgin Power|virgin]] goddess of households and families, seems to be more of the real deal.

** Also Queen [[Alcestis (Theatre)|Alcestis]], the only one brave and loving enough to offer ''her own life'' in exchange for her husband Admetus'. Luckily for her, Admetus happened to have an old friend named [[WorldsWorld's Strongest Man|Heracles]], who offered to bring her back from the Underworld... and did so [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|by wrestling]] [[The Grim Reaper]].

== Theater[[Theatre]] ==

* ''[[Pygmalion]]'' and the later version ''[[My Fair Lady]]'' are about attempting to groom a poor girl into a lady. It works rather well -- exceptwell—except that the girl also gains enough dignity and self-respect that she walks out. In ''Pygmalion'', she never comes back.

* Tzeitel from [[Fiddler Onon the Roof]].

== [[Video Games]] ==

* Schala in ''[[Chrono Trigger (Video Game)|Chrono Trigger]]'', and Riddel in both ''[[Radical Dreamers (Visual Novel)|Radical Dreamers]]'' and its [[Spiritual Successor]] ''[[Chrono Cross (Video Game)|Chrono Cross]]''.

* Some of the [[Multiple Endings]] in the ''[[Princess Maker]]'' franchise invoke this, if your daughter's skills fall on the domestic side (high conversation, temperance, cooking and cleaning). Specially obvious in the "{{[[media-|housewife_9300:housewife 9300.jpg| homemaker}}]]" ending, but also invoked in the "{{[[media-|tutor_8353:tutor 8353.jpg| tutor}}]]", "{{[[media-|nursemaid_5061:nursemaid 5061.jpg| babysitter}}]]", "{{[[media-|millionaire_wife_8094:millionaire wife 8094.jpg| millionaire's wife"}}]], "{{[[media-|merchant_wife_9283:merchant wife 9283.jpg| merchant's wife}}]]", "{{[[media-|maid_1341:maid 1341.jpg| maid}}]]" and "{{[[media-|queen_4421:queen 4421.jpg| Queen Consort}}]]" ones.

== [[Web Comics]] ==

* In ''[[No Rest for The Wicked (Webcomicwebcomic)|No Rest for The Wicked]]'', Perrault disbelieves November because such [[No Rest for The Wicked (Webcomicwebcomic)|a refined young lady could hardly come through]] [[The Lost Woods]] untouched.

== [[Western Animation]] ==

* Victoria from ''[[Corpse Bride (Animation)|Corpse Bride]]'' is a rare clean-cut modern example without parody or deconstruction. With the [[Perfectly Arranged Marriage]], you just know how devoted a wife she will be for lucky, lucky Victor.

== [[Real Life]] ==