Protectors of the Plot Continuum: Difference between revisions

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PPC: The Original Series, mission 1 ''Rambling Band'' }}

Somewhere in your favorite fandom, your most beloved characters and plot elements are being ruined right now. Everything that makes [[Pirates of the Caribbean|Jack Sparrow]] funny is being dropped for the sake of bad romance. [[Harry Potter|Snape]] suddenly washes his hair, grows angel wings and yet no one bats an eye. [[Chronicles of Narnia|The four Pevensie siblings]] are [[Brother Sister Incest|having sex with each other]]. And spelling and grammar are murdered wholesale describing that brand new sports car that [[Lord of the Rings|Legolas]] somehow owns.

Somewhere in your favorite fandom, your most beloved characters and plot elements are being ruined right now. Everything that makes [[Pirates of the Caribbean|Jack Sparrow]] funny is being dropped for the sake of bad romance. [[Harry Potter|Snape]] suddenly washes his hair, grows angel wings and yet no one bats an eye. [[Chronicles of Narnia|The four Pevensie siblings]] are [[Brother-Sister Incest|having sex with each other]]. And spelling and grammar are murdered wholesale describing that brand new sports car that [[Lord of the Rings|Legolas]] somehow owns.

You cry out in horror as to what has happened to the series that you know and love... but the Protectors of the Plot Continuum are on the case!

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There is also quite a bit of workplace humour (the headquarters is surreal, mostly due to being created by the aforementioned [[Plant Aliens]]), and explication of what sort of [[Sociopathic Hero]] a person has to be to do this necessary work. The [[Rule of Funny|Narrative Laws of Comedy]] (and others, such as the [[Tempting Fate|Ironic Overpower]]) all but govern life in HQ, enforced by the Legal department.

It's a setting where electronics tend to [[Made of Explodium|blow up at the first excuse]] or [[AI Is a Crapshoot|develop sentience if not properly maintained]], ''everything'' [[It Runs On Nonsensoleum|Runs On Nonsensoleum]] and literal [[Plot Hole|Plot Holes]], the Ironic Overpower will strike down anyone that [[Tempting Fate|tempts fate]], and [[Incredibly Lame Pun|puns]] are [[A Worldwide Punomenon|unavoidable]]. Training is inconsistent at best, ranging from [[Training From Hell]] to [[Sink or Swim Mentor|being given useless directions and surviving the first mission]], equipment and pay can be charitably described as [[Chekhov's Armoury|exactly]] [[With This Herring|minimal]]. Agents cause intentionally [[Death By Irony|ironic deaths]], Sue Soufflé is [[Made From Real Girl Scouts|Made From Real Sues]], and almost everyone wakes up the night after a party asking [[What Did I Do Last Night]]? [[Lampshade Hanging|Expect lampshades]]. [[Lampshade Wearing|Both types]].

It's a setting where electronics tend to [[Made of Explodium|blow up at the first excuse]] or [[AI Is a Crapshoot|develop sentience if not properly maintained]], ''everything'' [[It Runs On Nonsensoleum|Runs On Nonsensoleum]] and literal [[Plot Hole|Plot Holes]], the Ironic Overpower will strike down anyone that [[Tempting Fate|tempts fate]], and [[Incredibly Lame Pun|puns]] are [[A Worldwide Punomenon|unavoidable]]. Training is inconsistent at best, ranging from [[Training From Hell]] to [[Sink or Swim Mentor|being given useless directions and surviving the first mission]], equipment and pay can be charitably described as [[Chekhov's Armoury|exactly]] [[With This Herring|minimal]]. Agents cause intentionally [[Death By Irony|ironic deaths]], Sue Soufflé is [[Made From Real Girl Scouts|Made From Real Sues]], and almost everyone wakes up the night after a party asking [[What Did I Do Last Night?]]? [[Lampshade Hanging|Expect lampshades]]. [[Lampshade Wearing|Both types]].

Unsurprisingly, the original series was inspired by [[Terry Pratchett]] and his works.

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* [[Aerith and Bob]] - The PPC's agents come from all over the multiverse, creating an understandable disparity in names.

* [[Heroes Prefer Swords|Agents Prefer Swords]] - Swords are the most popular weapon by far among agents, and many enemies of the PPC also use them. Partly justified by the fact that agents need to use weapons that fit the continuum they're in when doing missions, or they're risking contaminating the canon - bladed weapons are almost ''always'' canonical. It is unknown if preventing the non-canon weaponry from being found by canons is a loophole, but agents prefer to be safe rather than sorry on that ground.

* [[Alien Blood]] - 'Sues bleed [[~~Everythings~~ Better With Sparkles|glittery red blood]], and in particularly bad cases ''just'' red glitter. (Their other bodily fluids are also apparently glittery. [[Squick|Ew]].)

* [[Alien Blood]] - 'Sues bleed [[Everything's Better With Sparkles|glittery red blood]], and in particularly bad cases ''just'' red glitter. (Their other bodily fluids are also apparently glittery. [[Squick|Ew]].)

* [[Alien Geometries]] - A rare comedic example: the Word Worlds are extremely literal when interpreting bad or illogical prose, resulting in eye-blinding sights or mind-bending shapes. Placing a non-canonical location in the wrong place can do truly gruesome things to the local landscape. HQ is hinted to have a [[Mobile Maze|more subtle version of this]], for values of subtle covered by the phrase "[[MC Escher|do not be alarmed until the gravity changes.]]" Depending on which story you look at (and to some extent what species you are, as the Flowers can navigate HQ just fine), Headquarters is merely huge and labyrinthine, thus easy to get lost in, or an at least partially sentient structure that is always shifting around and completely impossible to find your way in ''unless'' you are lost.

* [[Aliens in Cardiff]] - Where is PPC Headquarters' [[Real Life]] base? New Caledonia, a French-owned island in the South Pacific. The wiki basically says they've got no idea why there, of all places.

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* [[Anything That Moves]] - Agent Lux. [[Subversion|Although]] she's also sworn off men since breaking up with Agent Sean. [[Double Subversion|Except]] she's not too good at keeping a focus on that. [[Zig Zagging Trope|And]] [[You Do NOT Want to Know|no one wants to know]] her stance on [[Interspecies Romance|nonhuman males]], [[Hot Skitty On Wailord Action|after her reaction to nonhuman females]]. [[I Love the Dead|Or what she does with the corpses she occasionally collects.]] Her [[Even Evil Has Standards|only actual no-no]] appears to be children, as she [[Berserk Button|displayed actual anger for the first time ever]] during a poorly-handled scene of child sexual abuse.

* [[Applied Phlebotinum]] - from all over the multiverse.

* [[Arson Murder and Jaywalking]] - Charge lists often start with technical errors, progress to serious problems like [[Rape Is Love]] or [[Canon Defilement]], and quite often end on the charge of "Annoying PPC Agents".

* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]] - Charge lists often start with technical errors, progress to serious problems like [[Rape Is Love]] or [[Canon Defilement]], and quite often end on the charge of "Annoying PPC Agents".

* [[Artificial Limbs]] - Technician Narcolepsy of Testing and Application (a division of DoSAT) has artificial eyes and a computer in his brain. Other examples include Agent Suicide (11% replacement parts, can be considered a cyborg) and Agent Ally (artificial eye and arm).

* [[Artistic License Linguistics]] - A minor one, but there is no such thing as [http://www.misssandman.com/PPC/gwendolyn.html a "Czechoslovakian accent"], mainly because there is no such thing as a Czechoslovakian language, either.

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* [[Brain Bleach]] - Bleeprin and its variants.

* [[Brainless Beauty]] - The Sues.

* [[Bread Eggs Milk Squick]] - Shows up sometimes in chargelists, which tend to start with minor charges like "having bad spelling" and go on to charging for horrific [[Squick]] or disrupting the entire fabric of the multiverse, [[Arson Murder and Jaywalking|then finish on the unofficial charges like "confusing PPC agents"]].

* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]] - Shows up sometimes in chargelists, which tend to start with minor charges like "having bad spelling" and go on to charging for horrific [[Squick]] or disrupting the entire fabric of the multiverse, [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|then finish on the unofficial charges like "confusing PPC agents"]].

* [[Bug War]] - The Macrovirus incident. {{spoiler|Growth hormone from Paul Bunyan causes the macroviruses from Star Trek Voyager to turn into giant killer bugs that run amuck in HQ.}} Over ''one thousand'' agents are killed by the bugs, and the place is torn apart. On top of that, Sues invade shortly afterward.

* [[Bunny Ears Lawyer]]

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* [[Doorstopper]]: Herr Wozzeck's missions.

* [[Double Entendre]]: Some agents -- particularly in Bad Slash -- like to point these out.

* [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu]] - Some of the Sues killed by agents have been literal goddesses. Or demi-goddesses, in the case of Maia in Lord of the Rings. Killing them is possible not because the agent is overpowered, but because Mary Sues are not very intelligent or have very shallow ways of using their powers that lead to their demise.

* [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?]] - Some of the Sues killed by agents have been literal goddesses. Or demi-goddesses, in the case of Maia in Lord of the Rings. Killing them is possible not because the agent is overpowered, but because Mary Sues are not very intelligent or have very shallow ways of using their powers that lead to their demise.

** Another example is when Agent Logan defeated a Sue-possessed Thuringwethil {{spoiler|in a song battle a la Finrod Felagund. It only worked because Canon itself helped him out.}}

** [[Do Not Taunt Cthulhu]] - A particularly [[Sadly Mythtaken]] one of the above was taken out when Agents Suicide and Ithalond {{spoiler|[[Crowning Moment of Awesome|invoked the]] ''[[Crowning Moment of Awesome|actual]]'' [[Egyptian Mythology|Sekhmet the Destroyer]], who proceeded to vaporize the Sue.}} The Goddess of Destruction apparently does not appreciate having her name misspelled and her powers mixed up and given to a bitchy teenager.

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* [[Dysfunction Junction]] - Nobody in the PPC is entirely sane. They wouldn't be in the PPC if they were, and the job tends to wear down the ones who start that way anyway.

* [[Earthshattering Kaboom]] - The Department of Geographical Aberrations has been known to blow up Suvian worlds -- and star systems.

* [[Eldritch Abomination]] - A version of Big Brother from ''[[Nineteen Eighty Four]]''. Also, ''Cthulhu himself'' used to appear in the earlier spinoffs, to whom Sues would often be fed (although, in the very first one, the Non-canons are fed to the Watcher in the Water). This has become forbidden by PPC policy though (apparently the Sues are making him fat), and thus Cthulhu no longer shows up. The Sues/Stus themselves can count, as well.

* [[Eldritch Abomination]] - A version of Big Brother from ''[[Nineteen Eighty-Four]]''. Also, ''Cthulhu himself'' used to appear in the earlier spinoffs, to whom Sues would often be fed (although, in the very first one, the Non-canons are fed to the Watcher in the Water). This has become forbidden by PPC policy though (apparently the Sues are making him fat), and thus Cthulhu no longer shows up. The Sues/Stus themselves can count, as well.

* [[Enemy Civil War]] - The power struggle between the Venomous Tentacula and Forget-Me-Not for control over the [[Big Bad|League of Mary-Sue Factories]] after the Yarrow's death. {{spoiler|The Tentacula won.}}

* [[Everyone Calls Him Barkeep]] - Most Flowers, some Agents.

* [[Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep"]] - Most Flowers, some Agents.

* [[~~Everythings Better With Chocolate|~~Everything's Better With Chocolate]] - The main reason more agents ''aren't'' [[Ax Crazy]]. Except for Drake, who's allergic.

* [[Everything's Better With Chocolate]] - The main reason more agents ''aren't'' [[Ax Crazy]]. Except for Drake, who's allergic.

* [[~~Everythings~~ Better With Sparkles|Everything's Worse With Sparkles]] - Because of the Mary Sues.

* [[Everything's Better With Sparkles|Everything's Worse With Sparkles]] - Because of the Mary Sues.

* [[Exact Words]] - Word Worlds do this when badfic gives improbable descriptions.

* [[Expanded Universe]] - The various spinoffs are technically this for the Original Series.

* [[Family Unfriendly Death]] - some agents get very creative with Sue deaths, but being distastefully vulgar or invoking the same things you are condemning are frowned upon.

* [[Family-Unfriendly Death]] - some agents get very creative with Sue deaths, but being distastefully vulgar or invoking the same things you are condemning are frowned upon.

* [[Fan Disservice]]/[[Fetish Retardant]] - The No-Drool Videos.

* [[Fetish Fuel Station Attendant]] - Lux.

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* [[Gory Discretion Shot]] / [[Sexy Discretion Shot]] - Often, especially [[Squick]]-laden bits of fics aren't quoted directly. The most extreme example is probably from [[Of Warlords and Pleasures (Fanfic)|the Cluny Fic]], where the agents spend most of the truly disgusting scenes screaming, throwing up, banging their heads against walls, and drinking as much alcohol as possible without going into any more detail about what's happening than that it involves a spear.

* [[Hammerspace]]

* [[Half Human Hybrid]] - Some Agents.

* [[Half-Human Hybrid]] - Some Agents.

* [[Harmful to Minors]] - Some young agents, the rescued Sue-offspring.

* [[Has Two Mommies]] - Many ex-Sue children, and some Mpreg kids, are adopted by Agents.

* [[Head Tiltingly Kinky]] - Happens often, especially in Bad Slash. Often combined with [[Quizzical Tilt]].

* [[Head-Tiltingly Kinky]] - Happens often, especially in Bad Slash. Often combined with [[Quizzical Tilt]].

* [[He Who Fights Monsters]] - One of the many perils of the job is the risk of, in the process of fighting Mary Sues, becoming one yourself.

* [[Heel Face Turn]] - A few Mary Sues reform and become agents, though their interactions with other agents (who make a living off ''killing'' Sues) are rather awkward.

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* [[Hilarity Ensues]] - Nearly any mission where one Agent says, essentially, "I have an idea!" ends this way.

* [[Honorary Uncle]] - Applies to any agent who adopts Nursery children.

* [[Hormone Addled Teenager]] - Most of the Mary Sues and their writers. Some of the agents have tendencies that way, but tend to get it squicked out of them.

* [[Hormone-Addled Teenager]] - Most of the Mary Sues and their writers. Some of the agents have tendencies that way, but tend to get it squicked out of them.

* [[Humans Are Ugly]] / [[Humans Through Alien Eyes]] - Nonhuman agents have a hard time getting used to the majority species.

* [[Hurting Hero]] - In ''spades''.

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* [[Initiation Ceremony]] - Has, at least in the past, included the [[Cool and Unusual Punishment|Trial of Tom Bombadil's Poetry]]. Then comes the Sue-smiting.

* [[Insane Equals Violent]] - Both averted and played straight. Most agents are a little crazy, but those who have real-world disorders aren't any more violent than anybody else (which, granted, isn't saying much when it's a PPC agent you're talking about). However, insanity induced by contact with too much horrible fan fiction does occasionally make agents find themselves a flamethrower and start burning things. The violence is nearly always a comical sort.

* [[Instant AI Just Add Water]] - Any HQ technology with a speaker or display either a) ignites, b) explodes, or c) becomes sentient or sapient. This has resulted in [http://twitter.com/ConsoleNo2985 Consoles with a twitter account], and disguise generators with a sense of humour. Especially problematic with Simulation Generators, which start out producing simple if realistic automatons, but will develop [[Cloning Blues]] and [[Expendable Clones]] if not carefully monitored, eventually producing simulations that try to kill and replace the character they simulate.

* [[Instant AI, Just Add Water]] - Any HQ technology with a speaker or display either a) ignites, b) explodes, or c) becomes sentient or sapient. This has resulted in [http://twitter.com/ConsoleNo2985 Consoles with a twitter account], and disguise generators with a sense of humour. Especially problematic with Simulation Generators, which start out producing simple if realistic automatons, but will develop [[Cloning Blues]] and [[Expendable Clones]] if not carefully monitored, eventually producing simulations that try to kill and replace the character they simulate.

* [[Interspecies Romance]] - The PPC is a multidimensional organisation. This is the inevitable result.

* [[It Came From the Fridge]] - Eating from the cafeteria should earn hazard pay, as it's likely to send you to Medical.

* [[It Makes Sense in Context]] - Most of what the PPC does. Bonus points for most of the context ''also'' requiring context.

* [[It Gets Easier]] - Agents usually get used to killing Sues; it helps that they're effectively fighting to protect all of existence. [[It Never Gets Any Easier|On the other hand]], the longer they are agents, the more likely it is that they'll lose their sanity altogether. Terrible fanfiction is very stressful.

* [[~~Its Personal|~~It's Personal]] - Many agents have a [[Berserk Button]] relating to their home canons being Sued.

* [[It's Personal]] - Many agents have a [[Berserk Button]] relating to their home canons being Sued.

** Or their Lust Objects being interfered with.

* [[It Runs On Nonsensoleum]] - The basis for most PPC Technology are stabilized [[Plot Hole|Plotholes]]. If you tell someone that Bleeprin, literal [[Brain Bleach]], couldn't possibly work as it does, it ''may stop working'' (and the Agent will then need to kill you). Humour and irony are <s>slightly</s> stronger forces than gravity.

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* [[Kill It With Fire]]

* [[Killed Off for Real]] - For both Sues and agents.

* [[Killed Mid Sentence]] - Sues often die this way. This is out of necessity, as the canon has a hard time correcting itself if a Sue dies on her own terms (and said terms often involve faux-eloquent [[Last Words]]).

* [[Killed Mid-Sentence]] - Sues often die this way. This is out of necessity, as the canon has a hard time correcting itself if a Sue dies on her own terms (and said terms often involve faux-eloquent [[Last Words]]).

* [[Knife Nut]] - A significant number of agents.

* [[Lampshade Hanging]] - Near constant. One agent has been known to pull out and wave a ''literal'' lampsahde.

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* [[My Name Is Not Durwood]] - "Don't call me Acy!"

* [[My Significance Sense Is Tingling]]: See [[I'm Having Soul Pains]].

* [[~~Names~~ the Same]]: There are three agents with the name Alison, all of whom spell it slightly differently (Agent Alison, Agent Allison, and Agent Ally).

* [[Name's the Same]]: There are three agents with the name Alison, all of whom spell it slightly differently (Agent Alison, Agent Allison, and Agent Ally).

* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]] - [[Xtreme Kool Letterz|Agent X]], [[Anything That Moves|Luxury]], Constance Sims, [[Death Seeker|Suicide]], [[Punny Name|Justin Agent]], the Marquis de Sod, etc.

** On the villains' side, the Mysterious Somebody and the [[Harry Potter|Venomous Tentacula]].

* [[Never Hurt an Innocent]] - Most agents like to save the less-Sueish bit-characters if they can, especially child characters.

* [[Nice Hat]] - GreyLadyBast's Most Holy Hat and [[Old Master|Montgomery Osbert III]]'s helmet.

* [[Nightmare Fuel ~~Stationattendant~~]] - From the original series: Jay ''loves'' slimy tentacled things. She gets maternal over ''[[Lord of the Rings|the Watcher]]''.

* [[Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant]] - From the original series: Jay ''loves'' slimy tentacled things. She gets maternal over ''[[Lord of the Rings|the Watcher]]''.

* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]] - Agent Tawaki is a [[~~Everythings~~ Better With Penguins|werepenguin]] Borg who {{spoiler|gets turned into a Time Lord}}.

* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]] - Agent Tawaki is a [[Everything's Better With Penguins|werepenguin]] Borg who {{spoiler|gets turned into a Time Lord}}.

* [[Noodle Implements]] - Agent Granjo tortures Mary Sues with a Narayani hammer, an empty tin can, and a cell phone.

* [[Noodle Incident]] - Almost every agent pair has at least one.

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* [[Please Put Some Clothes On]] - Peter Piper's reaction to finding his partner [http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn4/DIO2.htm sunbathing]. Also Nume's reaction to Ilraen's failed morphing, Kern's reaction to Logan's penchant to go shirtless, and Brightbeard's typical response to Barid, who doesn't like to wear clothing. Also a semi-common reaction to Sues.

* [[Plot Hole]] - The PPC uses plot holes in much of its technology, allowing its agents to move and communicate between worlds and universes. The entirety of HQ in fact consists of bits of building joined up via plot holes. People regularly fall into HQ because of this.

* [[Precision F Strike]] - Agent Ilraen is a soft-spoken and often naive guy. So when he starts screaming about how something is bullshit, you ''know'' he's [[Unstoppable Rage|very not happy]].

* [[Precision F-Strike]] - Agent Ilraen is a soft-spoken and often naive guy. So when he starts screaming about how something is bullshit, you ''know'' he's [[Unstoppable Rage|very not happy]].

* [[Punch Clock Hero]] [[Your Mileage May Vary|or]] [[Punch Clock Villain]] - Technically, being a PPC agent is a job, though agents generally aren't paid much post-Reorganisation (before which [[Golden Age|they were paid very well and got frequent holidays]], but at the cost of being ruled by the [[Big Bad]] and his [[Secret Police]]) and don't do it for the money.

* [[Punny Name]] - Some agents, such as Justin Agent, Beethoven "Moon" Sonata, Light Fixture, Night Shade, Peter Piper, and Blue Photon.

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* [[Rule of Cool]]

* [[Rule of Funny]] - If anything can be, the Rule of Funny is ''the'' guiding trope for the PPC. If a spinoff doesn't follow the Rule of Funny, or if a serious story for the PPC doesn't occasionally bend to its will, it's not really in the spirit of the PPC. As said above, the setting also has its own name for the Rule, the Narrative Laws of Comedy.

* [[Rule ~~Thirty Four~~]] - A big reason many agents go through so much Bleeprin. The PPC also has its own version, "...there is fanfic for it."

* [[Rule 34]] - A big reason many agents go through so much Bleeprin. The PPC also has its own version, "...there is fanfic for it."

* [[Rummage Fail]] - Happens for anyone with a Bag of Holding or similar.

* [[Running Gag]] - CADs exploding, consoles beeping at bad times, and others depending on the spinoff. The CAD gag could possibly be considered an [[Overused Running Gag]], as it's now done almost every time a CAD is used at all and can give off the impression that PPC tech is completely useless.

* [[Secret Police]] - The Department of Internal Security, after becoming corrupt; their existence was common knowledge, but the secret part was their corruption, the {{spoiler|Mary Sue Factory}} they were protecting, and the fact they were torturing and murdering agents. The Department of Internal Operations can be taken as a more literal example, since in theory, only the Flowers even know they exist. In practise, there are rumours of their existence, but most still don't know the truth, and part of Agent Justin Agent's job is to discredit such rumours. According to one DIO agent, their existence being discovered would cause another revolt against the PPC's leaders, as they're [[Not So Different|too much like the DIS]] for most agents' comfort.

* [[Sensible Heroes Skimpy Villains]] - PPC uniforms are [[The Men in Black|black]], good for a wide variety of temperature ranges, and comfortable to spend time in. Sues usually aim for ostentatious, and in the Mirror Multiverse, the female agents wear very little.

* [[Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains]] - PPC uniforms are [[The Men in Black|black]], good for a wide variety of temperature ranges, and comfortable to spend time in. Sues usually aim for ostentatious, and in the Mirror Multiverse, the female agents wear very little.

* [[She Is All Grown Up]] - Happens when younger agents visit home or the OFU they attended after some time, and in the Ten Years Hence stories.

* [[Shouldn't We Be in School Right Now]] - Most agents are in their teens, and the job leaves them no time for schoolwork, though they occasionally get leave to attend an Official Fanfiction University.

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[[Category:Fantasy Web Originals]]

[[Category:Protectors Of The Plot Continuum]]

[[Category:Trope]]