Purple Prose/Quotes: Difference between revisions

{{quote| [[It Was a Dark And Stormy Night|The nightfall, deeply saturated with every fibre of its being in the shadows of dark gloom and ocular turblence,]] encompassed wholly and thoroughly the dusty, unattended, dirty, untouched apartment building of one youthful, handsome yet very homely aspiring author of many tomes [[Sdrawkcab Name|Report Siht]], as he descended with a blindingly powerful glowing aura of casualty and sensual smoothness onto the slowly revolving Mid-Century Modern armchair that was currently situated betwixt and between his [[Antiquated Linguistics|beige-coloured, antiquated digital binary computation machine and analysis device]]. The writer being spoken of gently placed beside his body [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|the worn thesaurus (a thesaurus, of course, being a large tome containing lists of synonyms and antonyms), slowly yellowing and fading with the slow, constant passage of time, he had been delving into]], he lowered his slender, pale fingers onto the black keyboard, [[The Picture of Dorian Gray|his creaseless, silky hands]] striking the small intractable keys in [[Rapid Fire Typing|quick succession]] while scrutinizing his search for a four-syllable phrase that is, to him worthy enough in all its purple glory to be written into his new masterpiece of literature to a veteran musician in search for the perfect melody to play to the masses, as they are entranced by the narcotic tune. But as he continued, at a tempo that only the smallest of snails could possibly envy, to turn through page after page after page of his wide, thick-as-a-doorstopper tome of words that he usually refers to as a thesaurus, he, over the course of hundreds of pages, begins to conceptualize that what was previously his treasure chest of multisyllabic vocabulary is now wholly exhausted, having used in some way each and every one of the words in some form or another. An "avarice" here, a "defenestrate" there, occasionally an "[[Egregious]]" hiding somewhere within his vast, vast body of purple literature. He swiftly and instantly put down his once sacred book, and slowly, with a profoundly resigned look on his pale face, sighed in the general direction of his desktop-based computer machine, which, as you know, he is presently attempting to write his most ultraviolet magnum-opus.}}

{{quote| "Oh, my blimey Lord, or Buddha, or Jesus, or Brahma, or Shiva, or Vishnu, or Satan, or the Great Horned God, or the Wiccan Goddess, or Apollo, or Jupiter, or Zeus (Even though you and Jupiter are one and the same), or Juno, or [[Juno|The Other Juno]], or [[Doctor Who (TV)|The Bad Wolf]]," he mused, saturating the air with his entire wistfulness, while his unceasingly flickering cathode-ray tube of a monitor began rapidly displaying the laggard starting of his currently ambiguous "world-wide collection of computer networks connected by phones, fibre optics and cable lines" surfing program in the immediate preparation for transferring his extremely long-winded masterpiece he calls his work of art to a favoured collection of digital pictures and Unicode, Comic Sans MS-based text of his, an exceedingly vast, all consuming collaboratively maintained repository of all knowledge dedicated solely to the pursuit of identifying and cataloguing any plot devices, clichés and other oft-repeated themes in a multitude of different works of fiction. "For me, that is I, the infamous and [[So Bad Its Horrible|often mocked and much hated]] writer Report Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenberg Siht, it is [[Spock Speak|indeed]] very, very troublesome for me, Report Siht, head of the [[Department of Redundancy Department]] for me to find overtly flowery, unnecessary figures of larynx vibration and vocalization considered by the vast majority of the population of this planet, Earth (or Sol 3) in the date of June 10 in the year 2009 A.D to be vastly unsuitable by my fellow troping comrades for such a strictly utilitarian device as a encyclopaedia of tropes and clichés in various works of fiction on a personal, digital desktop computer that was invented around six decades (or sixty years) before this particular [[Filler]]-filed sentence escaped from my full, blood-red lips. We, the writerfolk of the Earth were very significantly more productive [[Nostalgia Filter|in the vast, vast decades and years and weeks and seconds before the time of today]], when our much-receded capability to apply creative epithets to our works of literature was not hindered by [[Science Is Bad|by the slow but eternal and inevitable march of technological progress]] and throngs of [[Unpleasable Fanbase|ungrateful readers]] spending [[Egregious]] amounts of their distasteful lives in expectation of our newest manuscripts, only to [[Snark Bait|mercilessly pick apart their the flaws that said readers think they have unconcealed while reading my manuscripts]] with their friends, family and other acquaintances!"}}

{{quote| Exactly eleven thousand, eight hundred and seventy seven kilometres away from the spot Mr. Report Siht was writing his ultimate work of inane, ultraviolet works of literature, on the other end of our [[Insignificant Little Blue Planet|diminutive azure planet of no cosmic importance whatsoever]], a particular random, utterly unremarkable reader of literature who was usually referred to as Mister [[The Everyman|Jonas Quinn Averageson]], who had, at this current time of nine-forty-five at night just returned after an extremely large in length distance traversed in his black, very, ''very'' slightly rusted Honda Civic fossil fuel-powered automobile from his place of current occupation, where he is paid exactly nine-fifty an hour to detail, with [[Egregious]] amounts of justifying edits, exactly which character in [[Doctor Who (TV)|Doctor Who]] he thought deserved to be called a [[Ruined FOREVER|show-ruiner]] extremely similar to [[The Scrappy|a small puppy that called himself Scrappy-Doo, very exhausted and very frustrated after a particularly high in temperature argument with an]] [[Pointy-Haired Boss|unreasonable, though low in intellect, figure of dubious authority who will very, very soon be replaced by a Mister Fast Eddie]] (completely forgetting that this overly particular slice of life factoid was probably in absolutely no way at all relevant to the [[Myth Arc|grand scheme]] of this very "plot", though he, Jonas Quinn Averageson, probably at this moment in space-time was completely unaware that there was at the moment a certain troper living thousands of miles away narrating each and every little thought, no matter how trivial it seemed to be to everyone, for the sole purpose of adding word count to this already excessively long entry describing the use of over-flowery prose in various works of fiction, but never mind that), eyed Report's newborn magnum opus with [[High Pressure Emotion|a sudden, hot-tempered fury building up at a sizeable alacrity]]. "This disgusting piece of pretentious trash is [[Unusual Euphemism|frakking]] inconceivable and it is an insult to all literature, even [[My Immortal]], that this pierce of gamma-ray prose filled shiat would ever get [[Vanity Publishing|published]]," he immediately <s>[[Have a Gay Old Time|ejaculated]]</s> exclaimed with an incomprehensible amount of quickly-rising exasperation, his [[Mismatched Eyes|half-rouge, half-emerald orbs of eyes]] still scanning the two-thousand, five hundred and sixty six piece of trash-er, I mean, slice of literary heaven. "I really, really, '''''REALLY''''' wish with all of my cardiac muscles in my heart that person who's work I am currently reading attempted, no matter how impossible that task would seem to be for the person I am currently referring, to actually [[Get On With It Already|get to the point in a reasonable number of compendious sentences]] without using [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|excessively flowery and annoyingly lengthy expressions]], because if I'm hypothetically forced to proceed any further with this complete and utter nightmare of an encyclopaedia entry, it may quite possibly drive me to the point where my emotional state causes me to [[Expospeak Gag|rapidly lose eye-liquid]]!"}}