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Schlock Mercenary: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.''|''[[Big Book of War|The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries]]'', Maxim 12}}
'''''Schlock Mercenary''''' was a [[Space Opera]] web comic with many [[Mohs Scale of Science Fiction Hardness/Physics Plus|Hard]] [[Science Fiction]] aspects in [[The Future|the 31st century]].
Named after Schlock, an alien shaped like a pile of crap with eyes and a mouth who joins "Tagon's Toughs", a space-faring [[Private Military Contractors|mercenary]] outfit. The cast includes the aforementioned Kaff Tagon, [[The Captain]] of the group, Commander Kevyn Andreyasn, inventor of the "teraport" system and all-around [[Mad Scientist]], Ennesby, a former virtual boy band turned ship's AI, and many others.
Consistent humor (it is ''very'' quotable) and we mean ''consistent'' — Schlock
Howard Tayler has given enthusiastic permission to [[John Ringo]] to write about the [[First Contact]] days. Titled ''[[Troy Rising]]'' and planned as a trilogy, it consists of ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20150907011445/http://www.webscription.net/chapters/1439133328/1439133328.htm?blurb Live Free or Die]'', ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20111103173718/http://www.webscription.net/chapters/1439134006/1439134006.htm?blurb Citadel]'' and ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20110815023132/http://www.webscription.net/chapters/A9781439134320/A9781439134320.htm The Hot Gate]''. Ringo's enjoying himself, so there will be [[Trilogy Creep|more than three books in this trilogy.]] However, the two worlds have drifted apart and [https://web.archive.org/web/20120930075539/http://schlockmercenary.wikispaces.com/FAQ Troy Rising is not currently considered canonical within the Schlock universe.] Though Tayler still considers the books a [[Spiritual Licensee]].
There's an official derivative work in Schlock 'verse - ''[https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/howardtayler/the-planet-mercenary-role-playing-game The Planet Mercenary Role Playing Game]''. This includes extra art, statistics and background bits for various sophonts.
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The comic can be found [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/ right here].
{{tropenamer}}
* [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]]
{{tropelist}}
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{{quote|'''Pi:''' I swear, that was an accident.
'''Ennesby:''' Congratulations. You just invented "negligent regicide." }}
* [[Accidental Pun]]: Captain Murtaugh [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-12-07 observes] that Chief Justice Reynstein is "setting a pretty high bar" for the Eina-Afa judiciary.
{{quote|'''Alexia Murtaugh''': Sorry. The pun was an accident.
'''[[Pungeon Master|Ennesby]]''': A glorious, wonderful accident.}}
* [[Accidental Truth]]: "Captain" [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-08-01 here]. And later in a [[Flash Back]] -- [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-04-29 see the lightning epaulets]?
* [[Acting Unnatural]]: In [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-01-09 this strip] Brad mishears "act casually" as "act casualty", which does not look very inconspicuous.
* [[Alien Abduction]]: Over-the-top variant: 3.161 billion years ago, the All-Star [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-27 non-consensually uploaded] hundreds of trillions of people to save them from [[Scary Dogmatic Aliens]] who wanted to kill everyone else in the galaxy to prevent them from potentially accepting the All-Star's offer of immortality-via-[[Brain Uploading]]. Ulaque considers the non-consensual uploading justified; Putzho doesn't.
* [[All-Powerful Bystander]]: The All-Star, while lacking the vast material resources of the Plenipotent Dominion, seemingly has the most advanced technology of any modern civilization and the capacity to intervene in galactic-scale crises, but since the last time they let the galaxy learn about them it ''caused'' a galactic-scale crisis, they stopped intervening except to suppress knowledge of themselves, and now have a policy of merely watching with [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-15 "restraint and regret"] as crises unfold. However, when [[Rogue Agent]]s of the All-Star threaten to start another galactic war, Ulaque [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-30 breaks with the policy] and lets Putzho take one of their warships to go save the day — which [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-05 turns out] to be exactly what the rogue agents had hoped would happen.
* [[Alliteration]]: The Battle of Beggar Bay was brief. [[Lampshade Hanging|Also alliterative]].
* [[A.I. Is a Crapshoot]]:
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** [[Action Girl]] Elf once treated a reality TV host to this trope with one of his own cameras.
** To handle the toxic atmosphere of Ghanj-Rho when the Toughs were going on a mission to {{spoiler|get a new set of eyes for Schlock}}, they are given with a device to filter the toxins out of their blood. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-12-08 They're not, unlike one grunt thought, to be swallowed...]
* [[Atop a Mountain of Corpses]]: The Gatekeeper archive-creature apparently killed all the F'Sherl-Ganni in the habitat that housed him; when the Toughs find him, he's sitting atop [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-02-28 an enormous heap] [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-03-03 of F'Sherl-Ganni corpses].
* [[Author Guest Spot]]
* [[Auto Doc]]: There's one that gets souped up a bit and actually tries to ''improve'' its patients, sometimes successfully.
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** Several major characters have managed this, including {{spoiler|Kevyn (multiple times, even), Xinchub, Petey, and in an extreme case requiring a [[Cosmic Reset Button]] pressed during [[Time Travel]], Tagon.}}
** [[Death Is Cheap]]: As long as the head is mostly intact. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-03-11 Case in point...]
* [[The Battlestar]]: Battleplates, plus Ob'enn Superfortresses and pretty much every ship made by the psycho bears, everything the Toughs fly in after the ''Kitesfear'' is destroyed (with the exception of ''Serial Peacemaker''), Petey's ''Extortionator'' class ships, and every ship equipped with a fabber.
* [[Bear Hug]]: Captain Landon provides a literal (as well as figurative) bear hug to Captain Sorlie, when the latter needs one after Petey shuts down her latest attempt at martyrdom.
* [[Behind the Black]]: The Toughs frequently display their ignorance of the law, never seeming to notice their lawyer is present until Massey sticks his head into the frame.
* [[BFG]]: Schlock loves them so much that he once actually rejected a far more powerful and efficient (antimatter- rather than fusion- powered) equivalent of his plasma cannon because it was dinky-looking. And because it lacked the "[[Hell Is That Noise|Ommminous Hummm]]'.
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** A lot of pieces of technology have these [[Word of God|"fiddly bits"]] on them with unclear or dubious purposes.
* [[Blob Monster]]: Carbosilicate Amorphs. Like Schlock.
* [[Bloody Hilarious]]: The Toughs' new Esspererin medic, Corporal Neeka, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-26 performs] field [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-26 surgery] by quickly dismembering the patient, repairing their injured parts, and reassembling them. She's a very good surgeon, except that she tends to traumatize her patient and make a bloody mess of her impromptu operating theater, which is [[Played for Laughs]]. This seems to amuse Lieutenants [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-27 Diego-Garcia] and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-29 Flinders], while [[Squick]]ing out the Tagons.
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': Neeka is making me ''very'' uneasy. And it's not because she's Esspererin, or mecha-natural. It's not about species. I mean, you ''saw'' it, right?
'''Michelle Diego-Garcia''': Yeah, she sliced his foot like it was deli tofu on a shoe-bagel. }}
* [[Blue and Orange Morality]]: The Fleetmind, the F'Sherl-Ganni, the Pa'anuri. This [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-09-13 strip] in which the Reverend Theo Phobius mentions measuring sticks with evil clearly marked upon them, all of differing lengths, some of which measure in directions perpendicular to reality.
* [[Brain Bleach]]:
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** And then we have [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-09-16 this one], where the reader could also use some bleach.
** 'Chelle wants to use an opportunity [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-01-05 to wipe the memories of her clarinet lessons].
* [[Brass Balls]]: Petey said "Balls of steel" in [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-12-23 this strip.]
* [[Break the Haughty]]: Ulaque [[Baleful Polymorph|"force-maps"]] one of Evvin's "instances" [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-14 into a potted flower] for [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-05 lording it over] the captured Urtheep Industries team, which [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-20 has this effect].
{{quote|'''Ulaque''': The tiny pot provides a long-overdue dose of humility.
'''Putzho''': Is it working?
'''Ulaque''': That voice you can't hear is one of Evvin's other instances ''begging'' me to let the flower humbly apologize to you.}}
* [[Breaking the Bonds]]: Jud mentioned in his memoirs that he realized his bonds were made of toilet paper and were easily broken. He didn't say that it took [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-10-09 15 minutes to free himself].
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Characters occasionally address the reader or narrator... but Kevyn meeting his creator, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-08-30 literally], has got to take the cake..
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* [[Breast Plate]]: Tagon switches Breya's armor order to one that looks more—prominent. She does ''[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-20 not]'' appreciate this.
{{quote|'''Thurl''': [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-15 I had no idea women's power armor was sold like this].}}
* [[Breather Episode]]: Occasionally. "A Little Immortality" introduces the most [[Sufficiently Advanced Alien|sufficiently advanced]] entities to date and its climax is fairly action-packed, but compared to the peril and galaxy-shaking events in the previous few books (and, more so, the next), it's markedly less intense. Galactic leaders fret and argue about long guns, Captain Tagon talks about his feelings, and there's [[Stuff Blowing Up]], but no major heroes or civilizations are ever really in serious danger.
* [[Brick Joke]]: Quite a few, since the author has enough experience to know he can pull this off.
** One of the more notable ones is [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-01 started here] and [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-05 hit again a year and four days later here].
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** The [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-24 early] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-27 career] of Ennesby as "[[Virtual Celebrity|New Sync Boys]]". Not only it got a nostalgic callback [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-13 later] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-01-26 on], but later... three guesses as to [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-08-30 who] turned out to be one of those forlorn fangirls? And then his ability to plausibly do so became a [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-01-26 plot point].
*** And then the ship Ennesby gets to fly was named "Neosynchronicity".
* [[Buffy-Speak]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-15 Captain Tagon, to Ennesby's annoyance.]
{{quote|'''Theo Fobius''': [...] it is far easier to resist temptation if one commits to follow a righteous course long before temptation's arrival and allure.
'''Kaff Tagon''': Did the reverend get more... reverendy while I was dead?
'''Kevyn Foxworthy''': Don't read too much into it. Four months can make a ''lot'' of things more... thingy.
'''Ennesby''': My Merriam-Websterbank just threw up in my mouth.}}
* [[Bulletproof Vest]]: Most of the characters wear body armor. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-21 This] comic points out that body armor is only useful if you get shot in an armored spot.
* [[By-The-Book Cop]]: [[Hero Antagonist|Major Murtaugh]] is honorable and disciplined; Sanctum Adroit in general have reputation for the same (as well as for general competence and being a bit self-righteous).
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** Remember how Schlock [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-04-05 named a battleplate]? Tagon [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-02-05 remembers].
* [[Calvin Ball]]: a.k.a. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-10-01 Munchkin-clix of Cataan].
* [[Captain Obvious]]: Corporal Neeka's [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-12 commentary] when Corporal Gugro deploys armed but [[Full-Frontal Assault|unarmored]] and [[Reality Ensues|gets shot]]:
{{quote|'''Neeka''': You ran into battle without your carapace. Most military doctrines discourage this approach.
'''Peri Gugro''': Really? My bad.}}
* [[Caught in a Snare]]: When the Toughs land on a planet only to discover it's home to a sentient stone-age race.
* [[Cerebus Retcon]]: Subverted. The early gag of the "magic cryokit" modified by the Toughs' former doctor using his illegal research, including dumping his own memories into it, takes on surprising seriousness in light of later revelations about the doctor, his role in certain black projects, and what those projects are capable of. Also related, {{spoiler|the apparent throwaway joke at the time that the doctor's corpse was [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-06-17 missing unspecified parts] when it was brought in for the bounty; it's not until more than six years later that we find out that said illegal research is capable of [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-10-31 rebuilding people from parts of their dead body.] }}Subverted in that it's done so subtly and over such a long period that it appears to be less a retcon than incredibly long-range foreshadowing.
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** Ultimate example, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-01 a tasteless April Fools Joke] becomes the Plot for over two whole books [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-10-31 nearly five years later!]
** Ennesby is [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-11-26 seen with an eyepatch] in the present day. In a later flashback to the month before, Tagon [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-01-05 threatened to poke out an eye] if Ennesby's plan goes pear-shaped. {{spoiler|The eye is actually lost [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-02-16 due to enemy fire] when the plan goes up in flames, making this a [[Red Herring]] instead.}}
** In part 1 of Book 17, Captain Tagon's new ''Dragon''-class cruiser is [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-01-16 outfitted] with an [[Awesome but Impractical]] "main gun". In part 5, Tagon finds himself in a situation in which the gun actually is useful. He and Cindy briefly chat about how firing the gun is something for Cindy to "check off" her bucket list, then Cindy [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-23 fires] — with the [[Unsound Effect]] [[Lampshade Hanging|"CHEKHOV!"]].
* [[Chekhov's Gunman]]:
** See the koala-like Ob'enn [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-07-05 here?] Turns out he was [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-10-20 pretty important after all.]
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* [[Coca-Pepsi, Inc.]]: From Ovalkwik to Samsony, several formerly competing companies have merged, as revealed by their portmanteau names.
* [[Color Coded for Your Convenience]]: In an in-universe example, Lt Shodan suspects that a bunch of new recruits charging ahead and blazing away with their guns were prevented from shooting one another only because they were [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-19 wearing the same color].
* [[Comfort Food]]: Doctor Bunnigus and Reverend Fobius are [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-07-31 shown] eating what's most likely chocolate ice cream (given the dialog and the shape of the container) after Bunnigus returns home stressed out from quarreling with Petey and Ambassador Bala-Amin over Petey's [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-07-21 benevolent brain-hacking] of Vog.
* [[Comically Missing the Point]] : The author in [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-06-21 this strip], which probably doubles as [[Take That]] at people complaining about how he's telling the story.
* [[Comic Book Time]]: An early strip is dated at 3096, and it's clearly been a couple years, but it's not clear exactly how long.
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** In book 1, the top of the UNS military chain of command seems to be the [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-04-15 UNS Security Council]. In book 7, it seems to be [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-09-11 UNS High Command]. In book 15, the position seems to be taken by the [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-02-08 Penultimate] [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-23 Admiralty] (to whom, despite their name, both admirals and generals report).
** Early on, it's treated as unusual for anyone but a mercenary or pirate to know the ''Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''; in particular, Captain Tagon and Colonel Ceeta both are [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-03-08 surprised] at General Xinchub quoting them. Over time, it becomes progressively more common for UNS military service-members to quote the ''Maxims''. In book 14, even one of the peaceful, innocent Neoafans [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-10-03 cites Maxim 45].
** In book 2, the sixth buuthandi was destroyed by a "First Alliance Navy" [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-15] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-08-18] comprising contributions from [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-28 "over three hundred planetary governments and the United Nations of Sol"]. Now, both [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-08-31 Captain Andreyasn] and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-09-01 Commodore Tagon] refer to the buuthandi as having been destroyed by the UNS, with no mention of allies. This fits in with a broader pattern, quietly developing since some time after book 6, of the UNS drifting into being portrayed as the only major galactic power other than Petey, as opposed to one among many.
** Ulaque refers to the F'Sherl-Ganni as [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-16 "the Ganni"], which, given that Ulaque is [[Time Abyss|very old]], implies that the F'Sherl-Ganni once simply were the "Ganni". Back in book 2, ''Ganni'' seemed most likely to be the F'Sherl-Ganni word for the galaxy,<ref>From its use in the phrase from which was derived the word [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-08-20 ''t'okjith''] (note the placement of the expletive ''cho'')</ref> which, given their formerly-accurate opinion of their "superiority", suggested that "F'Sherl-Ganni" meant something like "Rulers of the Galaxy".
*** It could be a refer to a particular doctrine or culture of their species, which is used for Galaxy in context of its scope, however.
* [[Continuity Nod]]: Captain Tagon has not forgotten [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-04-05 how Jumpstar Prime was named] in Book 16, and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-02-05 confiscates Schlock's plasgun] before answering the sergeant's question as to what Tagon is naming his new ''Dragon''-class cruiser:
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': I haven't decided yet. But I'm not going to let you burn "I haven't decided yet" into the hull.}}
** Much of the action of book 18 centers on the Uuplech system. One easily could think that Uuplech only entered the comic with book 18, but it's been mentioned before — once, in [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-03-16 a footnote], over thirteen years earlier. In addition to Uuplech and the Uuplechans in general, the first Uuplechan named in book 18 (in the first line of dialog in book 18) is named [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-19 Cubbins], the same as the only Uuplechan named in the aforesaid footnote.
** The other Toughs are [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-23 not] [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-08 letting] Corporal Peri Gugro forget [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-08 that time] she unwisely [[Full-Frontal Assault|ran into combat naked]] in [[Schlock Mercenary/Recap/Book 17: A Little Immortality|the previous book]].
* [[Curb Stomp Battle]]: Four [[Le Parkour|Parkata]] [[Wire Fu|Urbatsu]] practicing punks versus one merc captain itching for revenge after the [[Eye Scream|Fork Incident]]. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-06-03 It was not a fair fight.]
** That the Toughs aren't allowed to kill the Uuplechan Patriot Armada members doesn't stop them from inflicting a humiliating defeat on the very outmatched UPA "battlegroup" sent to stop them from reaching the refinery. [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-08 First], the Toughs invisibly disable the UPA's missiles. [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-09 Second], they scare off the UPA flagship's escorts simply by showing off ''Breath Weapon'''s superior speed, proving that ''Breath Weapon'' — which is larger than all the UPA ships combined — is a warship and not the freighter that the UPA had thought it was. [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-13 Finally], the Toughs board the UPA flagship, ''Soulward Honor'', and easily capture it, while only firing goober rounds. The UPA are so outclassed that Captain Foxworthy, Commander Foxworthy, and Ennesby agree that, with the Toughs' latest [[Powered Armor]], Commander Foxworthy could have captured ''Soulward Honor'' single-handedly.
* [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]:
** Kathryn [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-03-20 knows how to deal with Schlock's regenerating abilities].
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** ''Everyone'' except the [[The Ditz|absolute dumbest characters]].
** Subverted and parodied on many occasions: "This is the punchline" or "I don't want a punchline" are recurring throughout the series (and might make this one a [[Running Gag]] in its own right).
* [[Death Notification]]: Book 17 ends with Captain Tagon visiting the Ot-Skadak hive Akkro-Akfa to personally [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-16 notify them] of the deaths of the Ot-Skadak in his service. It's an unusual example, as the Ot-Skadak have a [[Hive Mind]] and already know that those "nodes" died, but Tagon feels obligated to deliver the notification regardless.
* [[Deconstructor Fleet]]
* [[Defictionalization]]:
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'''[[Paparazzi|Frank Hannibal]]:''' ''[silent]''
'''Lota:''' [[Shut UP, Hannibal|Please stop pretending that you are the voice of the people.]] [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|You just happen to be loud, and wearing a microphone.]] }}
* [[Determinator]]: Howard Tayler, the author. Nothing can stop him from updating every single day. Not injuries, not software glitches, ''nothing.'' Even [[Stuff Blowing Up|a transformer explosion at the server farm where the comic is hosted]] that took out two walls, several websites, and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of computer equipment did not stop Schlock Mercenary's update schedule; he just set up a temporary site until they got the main host back up. On one occasion, the comic was up several hours late. Howard apologized, and the strip was up by End of Business that day. ''One occasion in eleven years.'' He continued on the entire twenty year run, never having missed an update nor posting guest art. But he's going to take a vacation after that.
* [[Deus Est Machina]]:
** Seemingly '''any''' AI should it gain enough processing power. Lunesby, the [[Instant AI, Just Add Water|accidental offspring]] of a ''holographic [[Boy Band]]'' and Luna's millennium-old filing system immediately decides to start streamlining the moon's [[Obstructive Bureaucrat|labyrinthine bureaucracy]]. LOTA (the Longshoreman Of The Apocalypse) does pretty much the same thing on Credomar. OTOH, Petey is ''[[A.I. Is a Crapshoot|suicidally insane]]'' when the Toughs pick him up, but eventually becomes the core of the Fleetmind; a gestalt of countless Battleship Class AIs into one, big, (kinda) omniscient Uber-AI... that immediately decides to appoint itself guardian of the Milky Way Galaxy.
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** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-06-08 "Autopilot."]
** The industry learns. There are [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-12-29 purpose made tape-cuffs].
* [[Dynamic Entry]]:
** Tagon executes a [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-06-10 31st century version].
** Agent Mako [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-08-31 plans] a somewhat more classical variant.
** Commander Foxworthy set the new "tune-on-entry" teraport cage to spit out the people using it at twelve meters per second, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-22 specifically in support of "hot" entries]. This more commonly results in unsuspecting teraport-cage users being spat out in [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-21 humorously] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-21 undignified] ways.
* [[Dyson Sphere]]: Buuthandi are thin "balloons" with habitats hanging on them. The All-Star is a Dyson sphere built as a massive computer — a "Matrioshka brain", as [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-30 pointed out] by Liz. Where the buuthandi eschew the unrealistically impractical quality of being rigid spheres and instead are giant balloons around stars, the All-Star takes the trope in the opposite direction: it isn't "merely" a rigid, hollow sphere, it's a [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-28 ''solid ball''] that looks to have over three times the diameter of the star it encloses. (This means that its volume, not including the star, is over twenty-six times that of the star.) Rather than collecting solar radiation for power, the All-Star seems to power itself [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-06-11 off the fire of the stellar surface].
* [[Ear Worm]]: The Macarena has been banned dozens of times since its creation because it's proven to be catchy enough to ''literally'' be infectious. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-10-14 Even when you change the words.]
{{quote|'''Kevyn''': Explosive mayhem would actually be safer than some of those showtunes you used, but that's beside the point.}}
** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-16 Not even LOTA is immune].
* [[Earpiece Conversation]]:
** Ventura as the coxswain [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2013-04-02 was coached] by a ship AI with lots of practical experience. And also happens to be under her command. As someone who knows what "feedback loop" is all too well, she finds this quite worrisome.
** Corporal Gugro is [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-14 issued] a bone-phone (an ear implant) linked to Ennesby, who is to coach her through pretending to be in command of Tagon's Toughs to satisfy the requirements of the Uuplechan law that would otherwise prevent the Toughs from deploying to rescue the victims of the refinery explosion. Gugro, a fobott'r, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-05 quickly discards] Ennesby's diplomatic script the first time they speak with an Uuplechan — the extremely undiplomatic militia leader Shiplord Srabben, who's wearing a ''tlumnph'' (a sort of diary of great cultural importance to fobott'r) as a trophy, and is proud of having killed fobott'r to get it.
{{quote|'''Benthel Srabben''': Last chance, [[Fantastic Slurs|grasshat]]. Turn away or die in flames.
'''Peri Gugro''': Bring your flames to me, little [[Fantastic Slurs|kitten]]. I will board your ship, flay that coat from your mange-boiled back, and then, with just one hand, I will personally rip off your only pair of arms.
'''Ennesby''': Connection closed. I don't think the script can be saved.}}
* [[Easy Sex Change]]: One of the many possible modifications offered by GavCorps Diversity Engineering division.
* [[Electronic Eyes]]: The set of Captain Landon's body parts replaced by Tenzy has expanded to include [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-05 part of his face], including his left eye and ear, since he [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-11-08 lost those] while fighting Wing Marshal Takka Besti's forces in Book 16.
* [[Egocentric Team Naming]]
* [[Eldritch Abomination]]:
Line 235 ⟶ 284:
* [[Enemy Mine]]: Several times, most often with General Xinchub.
{{quote|'''Maxim 29''': The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.}}
* [[Establishing Shot]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-15 "Beneath this megalopolitan outline lie pumps that keep Europe temperate by re-routing the Gulf Stream. Welcome to Dom Atlantis..."]
* [[Everything's Better with Monkeys]]: On several levels; not only are there sentient apes hanging around, but the characters are [[Genre Savvy]] enough to know that [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-27 monkeys are just that awesome]. [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-08-20 Especially with] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-26 grenades.] They also make great [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-31 distractions.]
{{quote|"One of the best uses of a monkey is to make everyone pay attention to the monkey."}}
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** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-12-26 An inversion].
** And [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-06-03 here] (minor spoiler).
* [[Expository Hairstyle Change]]: It's after Captain Tagon [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-25 notices] that Commander Foxworthy has returned to her pre-"Glamour Assault" hairstyle, minus the braid, that he learns how long he has been gone.
* [[Bling of War|Exploding Bling Of War]]: Kevyn and Tagon's epaulets. Tagon just has a grenade while Kevyn has an antimatter anti-tank grenade in one and a 14-kiloton antimatter bomb in the other. After expending both, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-06-03] he had to "[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-08-20 decide on new loads]".
* [[Explosive Decompression]]: Done fairly realistically rather than the usual popping skulls.
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** Also, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-04-18 elephant jokes].
** There are broader criteria, such as Andy's "[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-22 They're all Terrans. They all look alike]".
* [[Fantastic Slurs]]:
** The Uuplechan Patriot Armada calls fobott'r "grasshats" [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-05] and "fobos" [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-08].
** The Toughs, in turn, call the UPA "kittens". [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-05]
* [[Fartillery]]: [[Invoked Trope|Invoked]] in one strip:
{{quote|'''Kevyn''': During this time you [Pi] are not to discharge anything more energetic than a ''sneeze''.
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* [[Fatal Family Photo]]: Referenced in [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-27 this strip], and ultimately [[Averted]] (if barely).
* [[Fetch Quest]]: When Schlock had to go back to his homeworld to pick up a new set of eyes.
* [[Fiction 500]]: After unlocking the riches of Eina-Afa and selling warships to Int-Aff-Int in book 14 and being paid a large amount of [[Undisclosed Funds]] to help save the UNS in book 15, Tagon's Toughs almost certainly are the wealthiest mercenary company in the galaxy by far.
** Back in book 6, the [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-05-01 hundred million kilocreds] Kevyn spent to hire Pranger's Bangers was impressive even to Colonel Pranger (the galaxy's most renowned mercenary, at least back then) and downright stunning to Captain Tagon. Now, it's treated as no big deal for the Toughs to hire Sanctum Adroit for (hypothetically) [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-08-18 ''ten quadrillion times''] that amount, and Captain Murtaugh's [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-05-05 ''personal wealth''] is in the trillions of kilocreds.
* [[Field Promotion]]: Happens a lot due to characters dying off.
** [[You Are in Command Now]]: Happens a couple of times too during ''really'' bad crises.
* [[Flame War]]: Referenced when Ennesby responds to a terapedo (which he disabled) with a ''very'' [[Brown Note|harshly worded message]], using his [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]].
{{quote|'''Ceeta:''' I have this policy about not starting flame wars with people who ride around in [[The Battlestar|battleplates]].}}
* [[Flying Saucer]]: Ulaque's flashback to the galactic mega-war the All-Star accidentally started 3.161 billion years ago shows [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-26 the All-Star fleets] consisting of these, complete with [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-27 beams of light] that suck people up. Their modern fleets look [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-15 different], though.
* [[Food as Bribe]]: Dr Bunnigus [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-04-13 gets Schlock] to produce a bit of amorph-goo containing the ability to speak [[Common Tongue|Galstandard West]] (for her to graft into Vog's heavily [[Playing with Syringes|sampled]] brain) in exchange for the key-codes to one of Jumpstar Prime's locked commissaries, which contains enough food to feed the Toughs aboard for [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-03 "roughly twenty years"].
* [[Foreign Queasine]]:
** The ape-style rock-a-stack [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-03-23 with real termites].
Line 280 ⟶ 338:
** "Sis, that's long enough that the thing could have flown here from ''Andromeda''." {{spoiler|Guess where the wormgate being disucssed goes to?}}
** {{spoiler|Sunshine}} [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-04-26 is just another weapon].
** Corporal Gugro exclaims [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-28 "just pull my arms off already"] twenty minutes before she [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-05 threatens] to rip off Shiplord Srabben's arms.
* [[For Inconvenience Press One]]
* [[Fourth Wall]]: Gets progressively thicker as the series progresses. In the first volume, characters actively try to decide who's going to die on the basis of when they were introduced, who gets punchlines, and whether they're named. By later volumes, the wall gets nudged much more rarely, and fleetingly.
* [[From a Single Cell]]
* [[Fictional Document]]: ''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''
* [[Full-Frontal Assault]]: Karl Tagon, when mafia team came for Kevyn's time-clone.
** After ''Cynthetic Certainty'' teraports to the Urtheep Industries returns dock to fight the rogue All-Star agents' [[Killer Robot]] while many of the Toughs aboard are still asleep, Corporal Peri Gugro [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-08 follows] Schlock into combat just as naked as he is. Unlike Schlock, however, she's not [[Immune to Bullets]], and [[Reality Ensues]] as she [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-11 gets shot] as soon as she steps out from behind cover.
* [[The Fun in Funeral]]: Brightly-coloured party hats and noisemakers are the attire of choice at {{spoiler|King Xinchub's}} funeral.
* [[Fusion Dance]]:
Line 299 ⟶ 360:
'''Captain Tagon:''' Did you just weasel-word your way around saying "What's the worst thing that could happen?"
'''Thurl:''' Hey, ''you'' just now invoked Murphy, not me. Those weasel words are there for '''our''' protection. }}
* [[Ghibli Hills]]: Captain Tagon gets [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-05 a simulation of this], in a variant on [[Fluffy Cloud Heaven]], when Tailor goes to speak with him while Tagon's being regrown.
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': [[Genre Savvy|''Crap''. I must be dead.]]}}
* [[Glove Snap]]: In the second strip. ([[Ass Shove|Expected outcome]] [[Subverted]].)
* [[Gold and White Are Divine]]: In book 16, Petey is visually associated with gold — his holograms [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-27 glow gold] rather than the usual blue, the silver hexagon pattern in the background of conversations between AIs [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-06-29 turns gold] when he's in the conversation, and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-06-15 one strip] symbolically depicts him with a golden [[Holy Backlight]]. However, this bit of visual symbolism doesn't stick — after book 16, Petey's holograms return to being the same color as everyone else's and the hexagon backgrounds are used only sporadically.
* [[Good Angel, Bad Angel]]: As usual for this trope, massively parodied. Tagon shoots his shoulder angel with his sidearm because he thinks it's a mosquito, his shoulder devil tries to dress up as an angel, and his shoulder angel comes back to [[Boom! Headshot!|shoot it in the head]] for doing so.
* [[Good News, Bad News]]: All over the place, in every form, including
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'''Ch'Vorthq:''' ''(dryly)'' And I suspect you're addicted to it.
'''Schlock:''' ''(drawing his BFG)'' [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-02-25 Step away from] [[Title Drop|the tub of happiness.]] }}
* [[Grandpa God]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-14 Ulaque], seemingly the leader of the most [[Sufficiently Advanced Alien]]s introduced so far, has the facial hair for it, which seems to have grown since [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-25 "several galactic civilizations ago"].
* [[Gravity Master]]: The UNS battleplates.
* [[Grey and Gray Morality]]: Tagon's Toughs aren't the heroes. They're the ''protagonists''. There's a distinction.
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{{quote|'''Tohdfraug Admiral:''' (to Petey) We've failed you. We've failed ''them''.}}
* [[Hellevator]]: Both an escalator to hell and a space elevator on Luna, ''[[Lampshade Hanging|called]]'' the "Helevator".
* [[Helmets Are Hardly Heroic]]: [[In-Universe]], Captain Tagon [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-31 complains] about how the statue erected in his(/his previous self's) memory depicts him, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-09-10 inaccurately], as not having had his helmet on during his [[Heroic Sacrifice]] in Book 16.
* [[Helping Would Be Killstealing]]: Petey seems to take this stance toward localized disasters such as the Uuplechan refinery explosion, preferring to let mere former-mortals like Dr Gugro and the Toughs handle the little problems while he minds the galactic-scale problems. Chinook [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-18 questions] this policy, but goes along with it — at first.
{{quote|'''Chinook''': Petey, these interventions... are we doing this right?
'''Petey''': We're saving lives, Chinook. Every day, every ''hour''.
'''Chinook''': We could do it so much more effectively if we just ''did'' it. You know, ''ourselves''.}}
* [[Heroic Sacrifice]]: A couple, despite all the [[Comedic Sociopathy]]. Most notably {{spoiler|Brad}}, who stayed on his crippled shuttle to jury-rig a self-destruct out of ordinance so it wouldn't crash in a city and kill hundreds to thousands of people. In a surprising twist, he actually died. He got a really big statue, though.
** His last thoughts also "highlight his noble character." This particular sacrifice got all the hero mileage possible.
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** Most of the main cast are... well, mercenaries. What else would you expect?
** In particular, [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-10-05 Captain Tagon's father seems to be concerned that his son may be going over the line.]
* [[Hidden Elf Village]]: The All-Star is a doggedly-hidden community of [[Higher-Tech Species]],<ref>That's "species" in the plural, to be clear.</ref> though at the size of a star it stretches the limits of "village". Since the galaxy learning of the [[Brain Uploading|nature of their civilization]] precipitated a religious war of galactic extinction 3.161 billion years ago, their policy has been to prevent the galaxy from learning of them again (with [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-06-23 "gentle proactivity"], and overwhelming technological advantage), while responding to the crises of the outside world only with [[All-Powerful Bystander|"restraint and regret"]] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-15]. While they're older and seemingly more advanced (except, perhaps, in manufacturing technology) than the ancient Oafa, they don't fit the narrative role of [[Precursors]], in that, unlike the Oafa, they didn't leave [[Lost Technology]] lying around.
* [[Hive Mind]], [[I Am Legion]], [[Master Computer]], [[NGO Superpower]]: The Fleetmind.
* [[Homage]]: A brief [[And Now for Something Completely Different]] [[In the Style Of]] ''[[CSI]]'', complete with [[Expy]]s of Grissom, Warrick, Brass, and Nick .
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* [[Hyperspeed Escape]]: Quite common, unless measures are taken to prevent escape via Teraport.
* [[Hypocritical Humor]]: [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-07-28 Athens doesn't want to go first.]
* [[I Will Tear Your Arms Off]]: When Uuplechan Patriot Armada Shiplord Srabben thoroughly antagonizes "Marshal" Peri Gugro, especially by gloating about having killed fobott'r and taken their treasured ''tlumnphs'' as trophies, Gugro ignores Ennesby's [[Earpiece Conversation|coaching]] and threatens to board Srabben's ship and personally rip off his arms with one hand. Once Gugro captures Srabben and takes the ''tlumnph'' he was wearing, she [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-28 finds] that it belonged to a kindly fobott'r leader, Sira Tetlumbrathi, who wouldn't have approved of arm-tearing. Srabben, despite being utterly defeated, keeps taunting Gugro, but she can't bring herself to disgrace Tetlumbrathi's memory by fulfilling her threat — so she has Commander Foxworthy rip Srabben's arms off for her.
* [[If You Kill Him You Will Be Just Like Him]]: Parodied.
{{quote|'''Nick:''' Lemme hit 'im too, sir. I promise not to kill 'im too quick.
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'''Ennesby:''' I guess that explains their rich military history, then. }}
** And inverted by the Kssthrata, the velociraptor-like species which evolved in the same system as the Ob'enn. Instead of continuing their counter-genocidal war with the Ob'enn, they just ''moved''.
* [[Last Starfighter]]: After ''Maxim 39'' is destroyed and Petey teraports ''Breath Weapon'' to Eina-Afa to conscript Iafa to fight Chinook, Captain Tagon is left to manage the rescue mission in Outer Uuple with a ''Dragon''-class cruiser and the small number of troops that fit in it. But hey, that's what he had back in 3095.
* [[Layman's Terms]]: Kevyn's learned them. It was that or die because soldiers aren't physicists, and if you can't get them to understand you, you, along with trillions of others, will die because [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-06-15 most people don't know the difference between "nonillion" and "bazillion".]
{{quote|'''Kevyn:''' Captain, I need to be patched out. [[Don't Ask, Just Run|We've found something important.]]
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** According to one character, along with influences of urbobatics and "something called You Tubing."
** In [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-11-21 this strip], Schlock actually can be seen using the ''[[Painting the Fourth Wall|panel frames]]'' as things to push off.
** After Ulaque takes over Putzho's orientation in the All-Star from Evvin, who had been trying to impress the new uploads with "outdoorsy splendor", Ulaque admits having discarded the scenery in favor of blank backgrounds because [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-16 "gradient fills save me a ''bunch'' of rendering time"]. [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-06-18 Later]:
{{quote|'''Putzho''': Let's say you tell me a story. I like it, but maybe I think the narrative structure is too choppy.
'''Ulaque''': Like an episodic melodrama, or a long-form comic strip?
'''Putzho''': [[Lampshade Hanging|Or maybe I find it too self-referential.]] }}
* [[Let's Get Dangerous]]: Theo (he tend to whip out that rapier), Murtaugh made such a speech that even Haban II and Breya gave her concerned looks. Later, the delegate from flechette bugs [[Hive Mind]] decides to flex the wings and scout ahead... immediately followed by [[Scream Discretion Shot]] from an enemy patrol.
* [[Let Me Get This Straight...]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-01 "Just so we're seeing eye-to-eye, I'm going to read all of that back to you. One of the grunts is about to drag my company into a disaster area so we can meddle under the pretense of helping their family."]
* [[Let Us Never Speak of This Again]]: [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-21 Ennesby to Schlock], after a particularly [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-20 unpleasant moment].
* [[Little Hero, Big War]]: Ostensibly the Toughs' position, being a small mercenary company in a big, big galaxy with lots of conflict. However, they do play a role in many important events and are responsible for some major shifts in the galactic balance of power, including the introduction of the teraport, the formation of the Fleetmind, and the creation of LOTA.
Line 413 ⟶ 491:
** Also happens to {{spoiler|Lt. Ventura}}. Her captor tries to be [[Genre Savvy]] by not having the {{spoiler|[[Puppy Dog Eyes|innoncent-with-the-big-eyes]] looking girl}} guarded by an easily swayed human guard. {{spoiler|Instead they locked her in with the robots...}}
* [[Long Runners]]: The comic has run continuously since 12 June 2000. Do the math.
* [[Lost My Appetite]]: Commodore Tagon [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-29 objects] to Lieutenant Flinders showing him a video of [[Bloody Hilarious|Corporal Neeka performing surgery]] just before they're to eat lunch. He's subsequently shown not eating any of the lunch.
* [[Made of Iron]]: Many of Tagon's mercenaries have various artificially-induced boosts to their strength and endurance, but lately Tagon has been particularly [[Badass]]. Bad guy throws a knife and [[Eye Scream|sticks Tagon in the eye with it.]] Tagon [[Squick|pulls it out of his socket]] and uses it to kill the bad guy and a [[Mook]].
* [[Mad Scientist]]: several, subverted in Kevyn. See the Characters page for details.
Line 445 ⟶ 524:
* [[Mind Rape]]: The "Mind-Rip," an invariably fatal method of extracting a being's memories. Funnily enough, it's been used by the "[[Anti-Hero|heroes]]" ''at least'' as often as the villains.
* [[Misapplied Phlebotinum]]: [[Averted]] ''hard''. It took all of a few hours after open-sourcing the Teraport for pan-galactic war to break out. A short while later, teraporting ''missiles'' were put into service by most warships. On top of this, the bigger and meaner warships can use their staggeringly powerful annie plants to simply rip other ships apart with [[Artificial Gravity]].
* [[Montages]]: Rare, but [https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-12-03 this one] provides the trope's page image.
* [[More Dakka]]: Used liberally.
* [[Mutually Assured Destruction]]: The long gun is fulfilling the, to quote Ambassador Bala-Amin in Book 16, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-10-16 "terrifying promise of a return to the dark ages of mutually assured destruction"]. The UNS Penultimate Admiralty's strategy for responding to the threat of the long gun is to be ready to fire back with their own long gun, while trying to prevent other galactic powers with long guns from acquiring sufficiently precise targeting data to fire on them, which various people [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-10-18] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-02] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-23] note is futile and will lead to galactic society falling apart. Petey [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-25 disapproves], but fails to persuade the UNS to back down from escalating the threat by resorting to MAD.
{{quote|'''Petey''': I have moral issues with [[Mutually Assured Destruction]]. [[The End of the World as We Know It|Its failure mode]] is terribly unpleasant.
'''Breya Andreyasn''': ''"Unpleasant."'' Nicely understated.
'''Chu''': ''Nobody'' likes it. That's why it ''works''.
'''Petey''': Eventually you will find [[Omnicidal Maniac|somebody]] who ''does'' like it. And then, despite all the very horrible words I may choose to deploy, I will only ever be able to understate the unpleasantness. }}
* [[My Name Is Inigo Montoya]], [[You Killed My Father]], [[Prepare to Die]]: All three show up in one panel of [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-07-22 this strip].
{{quote|'''Gasht'g'd'g'tang:''' I'm Gasht'g'd'g'tang. Your gate-copy killed my son. Prepare to die.}}
Line 456 ⟶ 541:
* [[Nigh Invulnerable]]: a number of characters, starting with Schlock and going up to god-like proportions.
* [[Night Swim Equals Death]]: The plot of the Mahuitalotu arc [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-02 kicks off this way].
* [[Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant]]: Corporal Neeka continues to be cheerful [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2018-01-08] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2018-03-01] despite all the death in Outer Uuple, which, combined with Neeka's strange usage of [[Common Tongue|Galstandard West]], unsettles Dr. Gugro.
{{quote|'''Neeka''': The deadness they are enjoying is classified only as ''Laz-1''. They are not very dead.
'''Dr. Viki Gugro''': Your terminology is weird.
'''Neeka''': I should say "mostly dead"?
'''Dr. Viki Gugro''': You shouldn't say "enjoying."}}
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: In one strip, the Pi talks about watching ''Jack-san Robo III'', which features a ninja pirate cowboy with a monkey.
* [[Nobody Poops]]: Perhaps a bit ''[[Toilet Humor|too]]'' averted at times.
Line 465 ⟶ 555:
'''The Cartoonist:''' [[Exact Words|Blood loss]] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-09-02 is killing you]. }}
** Generally speaking, the fourth wall disappears when someone is dying (usually only for that character). Thus, when the entire ''galaxy'' is dying, the fourth wall may as well be nonexistent.
* [[Non-Idle Rich]]: The point is made that, having joined the [[Fiction 500]], Tagon's Toughs [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-08-07 "can afford to not work for a while"] and [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-08-30 go on vacation]. Instead, they stay [[In Harm's Way]], mounting expeditions at the behest of Petey and the Neoafan Freehold, to avoid [[Rich Boredom]] — especially to avoid [[Rich Boredom]] among the grunts, for whom boredom is expected to lead directly to jail.
* [[Nothing Is Scarier]]: The tactical uses of this combined with [[Paranoia Fuel]] are nicely demonstrated [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-05-08 here.]
* [[Odd Couple]]: Bunnigus and the Reverend (sounds like a sitcom title), now [[Happily Married]]. Except that {{spoiler|they've realized their marriage was really just a fake memory implanted in them. And arranged official ceremony. In fact, they ''were'' legally married at this time, but don't remember it, because Admiral Emm married them shortly before the mindwipe and they didn't get their old memories back.}}
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* [[On Three]]: Page image.
** And there is the occasion when a sniper has Schlock in his sights, while Schlock had just fired some grenades at the target. While the sniper tries to get an eye shot, Schlock holds up his fingers to count down from three to zero ("...''ground'' zero") since his targetting computer told him how long it'll take the grenades to reach their target.
* [[One Steve Limit]]: Averted: There's an Urtheep Industries employee named [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-03-23 Hazz], who was on a mission overseen by one [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-01-02 Director] [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-27 Hazz] and an aide who [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-01-11 might also] be named Hazz.
* [[Other Me Annoys Me]]
* [[Orwellian Retcon]]: "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries" used to be "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates," and the "maxims" referred to as "rules" (with the explanation that each "habit" comprised several "rules"). Eventually, the publishers of the real "Seven Habits..." caught wind and made him change it. ("Eventually" here defined as "after over eight years, when the joke had already long since undergone [[Memetic Mutation]]...") To soften the blow however, Howard Tayler admitted he was glad for the excuse to make the change, not least because the new title could be used for [[The Merch]].
* [[Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions]]: [[Averted]]; religion is alive and well among many different cultures, and the Tagon's Toughs have their own chaplain (Reverend Theo). In his [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-11-17 first appearance], Howard Tayler included an editor's note stating that this trope is what's "foolishly optimistic," not religion.
* [[Overly Long Name]]: The Ot-Skadak hive from which the Toughs recruit is named, in full, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-14 Akkroku-Takka Ksatti-Kuts Noaeho-Akfa]. Bosun Vaal can pronounce this without trouble, but Captain Tagon stumbles over it, and the Ot-Skadak offer the abbreviation "Akkro-Akfa".
* [[Overused Running Gag]]: [[In-Universe]], this is what Tagon considers Shodan's continuing to bring up the accident during the Mall Cop Command arc where Tagon got a fork stuck in his eye.
{{quote|'''Tagon''': Clever, but I bet a professional comedian would have moved on to new material by now.}}
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'''Ennesby:''' Ever since you let me name the ship, sir. }}
* [[Painting the Fourth Wall]]: Characters routinely lean on or brace themselves against panel borders.
* [[The Paralyzer]]: Stunners. As often happens with non-lethal weapons, if someone uses them at all it tend to end up in "zap everyone, sort later" tactics. They are also comletely useless if the target has helmet closed.
* [[Pass the Popcorn]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-12 Putzho joins Petey and Chinook] in a park in Eina-Afa, from which they're watching the Toughs fight the Uuplechan Patriot Armada, and Chinook has what looks like [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-12-03 popcorn] delivered at Putzho's request.
* [[Peeling Potatoes]]: parodied [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-09-02 here].
* [[Perpetual Poverty]]:
Line 515 ⟶ 609:
* [[Powered Armor]]: And how. Besides the standard stuff, the Toughs are equipped with low-profile (to the point of invisibility) armor built into their uniforms that helps diffuse energy weapons and lets them ''fly.''
* [[The Power of Friendship]]: A twisted sort of application of the trope. The Toughs can't count on their allies, because they're mercenaries and your allies might be the guys you're hired to kill tomorrow; they can't count on any of their respective home governments, for pretty much the same reason; they certainly can't count on their employers, who are frequently known to try to backstab the Toughs since, well, they hired a band of mercenaries to begin with, so why not add "screwing over those who make a living with violence"? But they know they can count on their ''friends'' (which, admittedly, is usually limited to "each other", but the sentiment is there).
* [[The Power of Trust]]: Petey, dropping in uninvited on a meeting of the UNS Penultimate Admiralty, [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-23 observes] that the admirals are capable of killing each other, yet they trust each other not to. Petey [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-04-24 encourages] them "to scale up the mechanisms by which [they] extend this trust", suggesting that the UNS, rather than becoming dangerously on-edge over the long gun, bring themselves to trust their fellow galactic powers with long guns not to kill them as the admirals trust their fellow admirals with normal guns not to kill them. Unfortunately, the work hasn't left behind enough of its old cynicism for the UNS to accept his ideas over their instinct toward [[Mutually Assured Destruction]].
* [[Private Military Contractors]]: Well, duh.
* [[Projected Man]]: most of the shipboard AIs; also, Ennesby before he joined the crew and got a body of sorts.
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** Played straight with The Partnership Collective, combined with [[Acceptable Targets|Lawyers Are Abhorrent]]
** [[Averted|However]], the Kssthrata, neighbours of the cute and furry but genocidal Ob'enn, are much nicer.
* [[Required Secondary Powers]]: In Book 15: ''Delegates and Delegation'', Petey and his allies (the Neoafans and the Toughs) began releasing [[Immortality Inducer|technology allowing anyone to become immortal]], which is implied to have become [[Living Forever Is Awesome|very popular very quickly]]. The next step is to rediscover the lost manufacturing technologies of the ancient Oafans, which Petey ''et al.'' suspect to have been [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-05-13 "thousands of times more efficient"] than those of the modern setting — without super-efficient manufacturing, civilization can be expected to [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-08-01 "Collapse into a greedy, violent rush for limited resources"] under new population pressures.
* [[Retcon]]: Due to trademark issues, the [[Big Book of War]] of the series needed to be retitled. Formerly "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates", it is now "The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries".
* [[Reveal Shot]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-28 When Captain Tagon is being shown to the new ship that Commodore Tagon ordered for him.]
{{quote|'''Schlock''': [[Lampshade Hanging|Oooh, nice reveal.]]}}
* [[Ridiculously Human Robot]]: Human in basic emotions, very not human in every other part of their outlook.
* [[Right Behind Me]]:
** [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-05-07 Captain Tagon]. "I think he bruised his brain when he put his foot in his mouth."
** [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-10-24 Leutenant Shodan] ''knows'' the cop is behind him.
** Captain Gasca [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-03-19 telling the admiral] how their current intelligence chief is too cautious. And that's when she reminds him that if her predecessor was cautious enough, he won't be discharged due to presumed death in the first place.
** Captain Tagon [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-01-18 expects] Ennesby to pop in with a retort.
** Corporal Neeka [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-29 flies up] from underneath a footbridge on which Corporal Peri Gugro is [[Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like|complaining]] about Neeka's [[Bloody Hilarious|surgical technique]]:
{{quote|'''Dr. Viki Gugro''': Doesn't your company have battlefield medics?
'''Peri Gugro''': Our doctor is alright, but our medic is more like a mobile cutlery station.
'''Neeka''': ...Who saved your life.}}
* [[Right Man in the Wrong Place]]: [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-12-18 This Qlaviql ore freighter captain.]
* [[Rubber Forehead Aliens]]: Averted. The alien population is extremely diverse and well worth studying if you'd like to break out of that anthrocentric mold.
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{{quote|'''Psycho-Bear Lieutenant:''' Talking to inferior species beats getting killed by them.
'''Psycho-Bear Captain:''' Don't let the chaplain hear you say that. }}
** The [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-25 "unfortunately competent military regime"] of [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-26 "religious extremists"] who, 3.161 billion years ago, tried to kill everyone else in the galaxy so that no-one could accept the All-Star's offer of immortality-via-[[Brain Uploading]].
* [[Scenery Censor]]: gets to ridiculous levels in one arc.
* [[Schedule Slip]]: Completely and absolutely averted. The strip was a couple hours late--''once''. Because comic's server farm exploded.
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** In fact it's technically seven.
** Also, power escalation leading to "Book 16: [[Big Dumb Object|Big, Dumb Objects]]" (the "can full of sky" itself already appeared in Book 14, however).
** And then on [[Big Dumb Object]]s and [[Precursors|ancient civilizations]] at once. The denizens of the All-Star are by far the most [[Sufficiently Advanced Alien]]s introduced yet, and their apparent leader Ulaque is over [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-24 3.161 billion years] old, breaking the Oafa record for oldest civilization encountered.
* [[Set Right What Once Went Wrong]]: When Kevyn travels back and therefore the [[Bad Future]] is erased, this is effectively conveyed with a panel that imitates the look of loading a saved game in terminal.
{{quote|<code> >> Your current game will be lost. Reload from previous save? Y/N
Line 571 ⟶ 680:
>> Loading...</code> }}
* [[Shut UP, Hannibal]]: LOTA gets to deliver a magnificent one to a [[Paparazzi|"reporter"]] who actually '''is''' named Hannibal, as quoted above under Democracy is Bad.
* [[Shutting Up Now]]:
** While Captain and Commander Foxworthy [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-22 argue] about the settings on their new "tune-on-entry" teraport cage after it [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-21 sent] Lieutenant Flinders flying into Captain Tagon, Corporal Ventura gleefully comments on how the collision looked like a [[Meet Cute]]<ref>specifically, in our terms, a [[Crash Into Hello]]</ref> — until it becomes clear that the argument is more marital than technological, at which point Ventura has [[I Need to Go Iron My Dog|"some robots to work on"]].
** While watching Commander Foxworthy prepare to board the UPA flagship ''Soulward Honor'', Ventura [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-13 chats] with Aardman, until Chief Thurl steps in with a deadpan remark, which Ventura notes «means "get back to work"».
* [[Slasher Smile]]: Most of the Toughs' officers can do this, notably Tagon ([http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-02-26 example here]). He likes violence and he likes getting paid. If he is smiling, ''pray you are his employer.''
** [[Mad Bomber|Pi]] can do some [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-11-01 frightening] expression, too.
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* [[Sliding Scale of Silliness Versus Seriousness]]: Despite the cynicism of the strip, it rarely takes itself seriously.
* [[Smart People Play Chess]]: AIs play chess for fun. You can tell when one of them is seriously outclassed because his opponent will be able to predict the entire game before the first move is played.
* [[Society of Immortals]]:
** The Bradicor, but only the semi-retired semi-senile branch survived.
** Once RED-REO (backup to skin and bones), the [[Immortality Inducer]] released to the public in Book 15, has been adopted widely across galactic civilization. One of the main plotlines concerns Tagon's Toughs deploying to a disaster area to provide expert assistance in activating the resurrection feature of the victims' RED-REO nannies.
{{quote|'''A footnote on [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-19 the first page]''': In the waning days of 3099 the Neoafan Freehold published an amazing suite of life-extension technologies which, taken collectively, promised to extend lives almost indefinitely. [...] The intervening sixteen months have seen numerous non-trivial crises as the widely interspeciated population of the the galaxy increased just a couple of percentage points faster than it used to. Most of these crises were mentioned in Schlock Mercenary only in passing, [[Lampshade Hanging|because "lets build more houses" is less interesting than "oh no we're being attacked by space bugs."]]}}
* [[Somebody Else's Problem]]:
** The characters are mercenaries, after all. Priority number one is to stay alive long enough to get paid. Priority two is to ''get'' paid.
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* [[Stripperiffic]]: Parodied.
* [[Subspace Ansible]]: The Hypernet.
* [[Suicide Mission]]: From the All-Star's perspective, their new agent Putzho [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-30 embarks on a suicide mission] by taking a warship to go save the galaxy, because [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-08-06 they can't allow him to return to the All-Star] lest others find its location by following him back. It's a very ''long-term'' "suicide" mission, though — Putzho still gets to be an immortal ([[The Ageless|type I]]) superintelligence with one of the most advanced warships in the galaxy; he's just more likely eventually to get killed out there in the outside world than he would be in the safety of the All-Star.
{{quote|'''Ulaque''': If you leave, you won't be coming back. This is a [[One-Way Trip]].
'''Putzho''': From a thermodynamic perspective, ''every'' trip is one-way.}}
* [[Super Serum]]: Soldier-boosts; illegal if done without a license, but that doesn't stop anyone.
* [[Super Soldier]]: Several, with the Doyts being particularly notable.
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* [[Talking Your Way Out]]: Most characters employ this (even the [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass|supposedly dumb ones]]) to some degree, but Kathryn in particular is an artist. {{spoiler|No small wonder, considering her background.}} Case in point [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-16 here], talking her way out of being held at gunpoint.
* [[Tank Goodness]]: ''Flying'' Tank goodness for the win.
* [[Techno Babble]]: Rarely. Putzho [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-08-27 says] that his self-tuning teraport cage is "quantum entangled with the micronodes in the virtual transmitter's cloud", which Kevyn decries as [[Lampshade Hanging|"buzz-word salad"]].
* [[Teleport Interdiction]]: Teraport Area Denial systems were introduced within days of Kevyn making the blueprints for the Teraport open-source. Removing the Tough's massive tactical advantage.
* [[Tempting Fate]]:
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** Their terminology for it is "Taunting [[Finagle's Law|Murphy]]".
** Again: [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-04-17 Don't] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-05-14 taunt Murphy.]
** [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] as usual [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-10-02 while] Corporal Ventura plays with her latest, largest pet robot:
{{quote|'''Tarpaulin''': Mistress Ventura, please be careful. That soshiko outmasses you by two orders of magnitude.
'''Para Ventura''': Do I look worried?
'''Tarpaulin''': [[Noodle Incident|No, but you've only grown back five centimeters of hair since you last asked me that question.]] }}
* [[Theme Initials]]: all of the PD Fleet ships have names with the initials 'P.D.' [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-08-28]
* [[The X of Y]]: All the Ob'enn ship names [[Theme Naming|follow a strict pattern]]: The [''Object''] of [''Pretentious Adjective''] [''Pretentious Principle'']. If it is a defensive ship, the object will be a piece of armor or article of clothing; if offensive, a pointy handweapon of some sort. Lampshaded when Tagon discovers his recently-acquired [[Nanomachines|fabber]] is of Ob'enn manufacture:
{{quote|'''Tagon''': Let's slap a drive and crew quarters on it and christen it the ''[[Title Drop|Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance]]''.
'''Kevyn''': Making fun of Ob'enn ship names is like shooting fish in the barrel of circular swimming. }}
* [[There Are No Therapists]]: Averted: Commodore Tagon has been [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-12-29 seeing a therapist] after Captain Tagon's death in [[Schlock Mercenary/Recap/Book 16: Big, Dumb Objects|the previous book]]. (On one hand, it took only two months to restore the younger Tagon from backup; on the other hand, the elder Tagon's grief issues date back to the start of the Terraforming Wars, and had been established [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2012-09-30 in book 13, "Random Access Memorabilia"].)
* [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill]]:
** Routinely. [[Discussed Trope]] in [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-11-30 this strip].
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* [[This Ain't Rocket Surgery]]: Well, not the rocket half, anyway.
** One plotline invokes [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-05 both] [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-13 halves] of this in quick succession.
* [[Timber!]]: At the end, when the Toughs and the UNS are relocating the esspererin city of Beskin-Sashik away from Uli-Oa before Petey destroys Uli-Oa, a UNS lieutenant [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2016-11-13 shouts "TIMM-BERRRR"] after using a ship-to-ship weapon to sever the esspererin colony-tree from Uli-Oa.
{{quote|'''Sato''': Lieutenant, did you just make a joke at the expense of the people whose home we are disassembling?
'''''Juab'' lieutenant''': Sir, I just used a gravy-braided plasma lance to ''cut down a tree''.
'''Sato''': So you ''did'' make a joke.
'''''Juab'' lieutenant''': No sir. ''"Timber"'' is the lumberjack equivalent of ''"fire in the hole."''
'''Sato''': Good save. Carry on.}}
* [[Time Abyss]]: The Really Old Dude and Very Old Guy, members of the species that {{spoiler|originally created the amorphs}}.
{{quote|'''Fobottr Tenant:''' Are you claiming that your people have been on the surface for over ten million years?
'''[[Fun with Acronyms|Rod]]:''' Oh, my people have been down there for ''much'' longer than ''that''. No, I was just talking about ''me'', personally. }}
** The All-Star, and Ulaque, have existed for over [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-24 3.161 billion years].
* [[Time for Plan B]]: Recurring.
** Plan C, even!
** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-05-29 See this one.]
** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-02-10 Plan C! Plan C!]
* [[Time Skip]]: Book 18 starts [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-09-23 five months] after the end of Book 17.
* [[Time Travel]]: Only once, under exceptional, non-repeatable circumstances.
** The ''Command and Conquer'' chapter returns to the [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-07-18 time travel concept], giving hope that time travel can be performed using 140 character messages.
* [[Title Drop]]: The [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-18 seventh strip]. The individual physical book collections also have their titles dropped at some point during the events portrayed within.
** Captain Tagon drops the title in [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-06-16 concluding] an [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-06-13 angry explanation] of his feelings about RED-REO:
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': This... thing we do. Being "backed up." It's a ''little'' immortality. It won't stop death. Since I want to stay alive, I do what ''all'' good soldiers do. ''[gets interrupted by Schlock]''}}
* [[Toilet Humor]]: Characters frequently point out that Schlock looks like, well, crap, but that's only about half of it, to the point of an [[Overused Running Gag]].
* [[Tongue Suicide]]: In book 4, Colonel Ceeta decides to kiss Captain Tagon, before {{spoiler|General Xinchub executes both Tagon and his crew killed}}, Tagon replied, "[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-03-05 "I'd sooner bite off my own tongue and bleed out than kiss you, Jevee."], he's presumably being hyperbolic, though he doesn't have a choice when the "fine, gravitic control of the battleplate ''Tunguska''" is fine.
* [[Too Much Information]]
* [[Torture Technician]]: U.N.S Colonel [[De Hanns]]
Line 655 ⟶ 791:
** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-06-24 KA-LASE.]
** [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2011-06-16 ''BOSSYRING.'']
** Ulaque [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-05-14 turns Evvin], who had been lording it over the captured Urtheep team as a giant tree, first into a ''"BONSAI!"'' and then into a ''"BLOSSOM"''.
** An Urtheep Industries employee checking on Urtheep's inventory of tanks finds that some of them are being stolen by the rogue All-Star agents. As he flees, his [[Voice with an Internet Connection]] asks whether he found "some more discrepancies". Before he can answer, the tanks blow up part of the hallway behind him with the unsound effect [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-03 ''"DISCREPANCIES!"''].
** Cindy fires her new [[Chekhov's Gun]] with the unsound effect [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-07-23 ''"CHEKHOV!"''].
* [[Unusual Euphemism]]: Used rather often, and often to hilarious effect.
{{quote|'''Tagon''': ''(discovering he's just been [[Eye Scream|stabbed in the eye]] with cutlery)'' Oh, fork.}}
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'''Ennesby''': I don't know. I'm reindexing "frying pan" for a higher baseline, though.}}
* [[Uplifted Animal]]: Humans have uplifted elephants (several versions), gorillas, chimpanzees, polar bears, some reptile or equine (has elongated snout, sort of crest over the neck and olive to brown skin, but details were not clearly visible) and possibly others.
* [[Victory Is Boring]]: The ob'enn of the superfortress ''Razor of Unmitigated Severance'' say that they're open to trying diplomacy rather than war because they [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-19 "have grown weary of winning"].
* [[Virtual Celebrity]]: The New Sync Boys.
* [[Visual Pun]]: [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-08-27 Check out] the "[[Where's Waldo|waldo]]".
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* [[What Measure Is a Non-Cute?]]: [[Subverted]] to death with the Ob'enn, and summarized [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-13 here].
* [[What Measure Is a Non-Human?]]: Usually [[Subverted]], in that it's not being non-human that makes killing someone acceptable. It's getting in the way of the Toughs completing a contract.
* [[What the Hell, Hero?]]: After Corporal Gugro, pretending to be in command of the Toughs, responds in kind to Shiplord Srabben's insults and threats, finishing by promising to board Srabben's ship, flay him, and rip off his arms, Captain Tagon [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-06 chews her out] for not following the intended diplomatic script — then [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-07 changes the plan] to accommodate Gugro's threats anyway.
{{quote|'''Kaff Tagon''': Well, it was a really good threat. It'd be a shame not to deliver.}}
* [[The Wiki Rule]]: [http://schlockmercenary.wikispaces.com/Welcome The Ovalkwiki.]
* [[World Shapes]]: the Bu'uthandis are a variant of a Type I [[Dyson Sphere]] (see also [[Hollow World]]), while the Zoojacks are literally shaped like toy jacks, and the Tinth look like giant subway sandwiches
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** Shodan as a kid played ''[[Halo|Master-Chief]] [[Super Mario Bros.|Mario]]'' on an antique "Wiibox."
* [[You Can Leave Your Hat On]]
* [[You Watch Too Much X]]: [//www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-01-14 Commodore Tagon accepts a rush job:]
{{quote|'''Karl Tagon''': I want stars off the starboard bow in ten minutes.
'''Kaff Tagon''': Dad, what kind of shows have you been watching lately?
'''Karl Tagon''': It's a great line, and our client is paying for melodramatic levels of haste.}}
* [[Your Approval Fills Me with Shame]]
{{quote|'''Petey:''' I know I've hit a rough patch when a violent, amorphous sociopath is my best character reference.
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[[Category:Web Comics]]
[[Category:Web Comics of the 2000s]]
[[Category:Web Comics of the 2010s]]
[[Category:Web Comics of the 2020s]]
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