Side Effects Include: Difference between revisions

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* '''"Healthoxine. Because you're worth it."''' The "reminder" commercial alternates shots of flowered meadows, senior citizens, and doctors, all while saying generally positive things about nothing in particular and mentioning the name of the drug. This evades both mentioning the side effects and what the drug actually ''does''. This type is far less common these days; most commercials that still do this are the ones that give you help ''down there'', because, due to social mores, they can't directly name what their product does anyway. Some of these ads tried to skirt the issue by naming another drug indicated for the same thing.
* '''"Healthoxine. Because you're worth it."''' The "reminder" commercial alternates shots of flowered meadows, senior citizens, and doctors, all while saying generally positive things about nothing in particular and mentioning the name of the drug. This evades both mentioning the side effects and what the drug actually ''does''. This type is far less common these days; most commercials that still do this are the ones that give you help ''down there'', because, due to social mores, they can't directly name what their product does anyway. Some of these ads tried to skirt the issue by naming another drug indicated for the same thing.
* '''"Ask your doctor if Happypills are right for you."''' This commercial actually does tell you what the pill is for, and then spends the rest of the commercial breaking the bad news gently: "If you have seasonal allergies, [[DC Universe|Mxyzptlk]][[The Unpronounceable|acine]] may be right for you. Side effects of Mxyzptlkacine are [[Blatant Lies|uncommon]], and include headache, nausea, vomiting, [[Four Is Death|death]], dizziness, [[Red vs. Blue|Vaginal]] [[Squick|ejaculations]], [[Oregon Trail|dysentery]], cardiac arrhythmia, [[The Colbert Report|mild heart explosions]], varicose veins, darkened stool, [[Super-Powered Evil Side|darkened soul]], [[Our Werewolves Are Different|lycanthropy]], [[Perfectly Cromulent Word|trucanthropy]], arteriosclerosis, [[American English|hemorrhoids]], [[Memetic Mutation/Advertising|diabeetus]], [[You Fail Biology Forever|virginity]], [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild discomfort]], [[Our Vampires Are Different|vampirism]], [[Gender Bender|gender impermanence]], [[The Office|spontaneous dental hydroplosion]], sugar high, more vomiting, [[Real Is Brown|brown]], [[Your Mom|your mom]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild rash]]." <br /><br />And yet, apparently even after all this, enough people still want to get the drug that the cost of advertising is justified.
* '''"Ask your doctor if Happypills are right for you."''' This commercial actually does tell you what the pill is for, and then spends the rest of the commercial breaking the bad news gently: "If you have seasonal allergies, [[DC Universe|Mxyzptlk]][[The Unpronounceable|acine]] may be right for you. Side effects of Mxyzptlkacine are [[Blatant Lies|uncommon]], and include headache, nausea, vomiting, [[Four Is Death|death]], dizziness, [[Red vs. Blue|Vaginal]] [[Squick|ejaculations]], [[Oregon Trail|dysentery]], cardiac arrhythmia, [[The Colbert Report|mild heart explosions]], varicose veins, darkened stool, [[Super-Powered Evil Side|darkened soul]], [[Our Werewolves Are Different|lycanthropy]], [[Perfectly Cromulent Word|trucanthropy]], arteriosclerosis, [[American English|hemorrhoids]], [[Memetic Mutation/Advertising|diabeetus]], [[You Fail Biology Forever|virginity]], [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild discomfort]], [[Our Vampires Are Different|vampirism]], [[Gender Bender|gender impermanence]], [[The Office|spontaneous dental hydroplosion]], sugar high, more vomiting, [[Real Is Brown|brown]], [[Your Mom]], and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|mild rash]]." <br /><br />And yet, apparently even after all this, enough people still want to get the drug that the cost of advertising is justified.
* '''"Why live with the heartbreak of psoriasis?"''' A newer breed of commercial, the "help seeking" ad doesn't even mention the brand at all. Instead, it poses a public service announcement, offering a pamphlet you can receive -- or now, a Web site you can visit -- offering information on treatment options for a certain disease... "including a prescription treatment option." This one line is the real reason for the commercial; the pamphlet is an ad for the company's new drug, and the company wants you to read it since, in print, they're still allowed to hide the list of side effects in 1-point type. This kind of ad eventually becomes one for the drug in the pamphlet.
* '''"Why live with the heartbreak of psoriasis?"''' A newer breed of commercial, the "help seeking" ad doesn't even mention the brand at all. Instead, it poses a public service announcement, offering a pamphlet you can receive -- or now, a Web site you can visit -- offering information on treatment options for a certain disease... "including a prescription treatment option." This one line is the real reason for the commercial; the pamphlet is an ad for the company's new drug, and the company wants you to read it since, in print, they're still allowed to hide the list of side effects in 1-point type. This kind of ad eventually becomes one for the drug in the pamphlet.


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* ''[[Bloom County]]'' had a Sunday comic about the incredible dangers of snorting dandelions, which included spontaneous decapitation and turning into Woody Allen. In the last panel, Steve Dallas snorts it anyway.
* ''[[Bloom County]]'' had a Sunday comic about the incredible dangers of snorting dandelions, which included spontaneous decapitation and turning into Woody Allen. In the last panel, Steve Dallas snorts it anyway.
* In ''Opus'', the titular penguin takes a medication whose side effects include lactation, so he then gets a medication that prevents that side effect, but then needs one to prevent ''its'' side effect, until he has a chain of medications. In the last panel, someone points out that, of course, penguins don't have nipples.
* In ''Opus'', the titular penguin takes a medication whose side effects include lactation, so he then gets a medication that prevents that side effect, but then needs one to prevent ''its'' side effect, until he has a chain of medications. In the last panel, someone points out that, of course, penguins don't have nipples.
* In ''[[War Craft]] 3'', clicking repeatedly on the Priest unit (the human side's healer) eventually results in him issuing the following disclaimer: "Side effects may include: Dry mouth, Nausea, Water retention, Painful rectal itch, Hallucinations, Psychosis, Coma, Death, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Halitosis]]. Magic is not for everyone, consult your doctor before use."
* In ''[[Warcraft]] 3'', clicking repeatedly on the Priest unit (the human side's healer) eventually results in him issuing the following disclaimer: "Side effects may include: Dry mouth, Nausea, Water retention, Painful rectal itch, Hallucinations, Psychosis, Coma, Death, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|Halitosis]]. Magic is not for everyone, consult your doctor before use."
* [http://nonadventures.com/2007/02/24/merchant-of-menace/ This] episode of ''[[The Non Adventures of Wonderella]]'', in the fifth panel.
* [http://nonadventures.com/2007/02/24/merchant-of-menace/ This] episode of ''[[The Non-Adventures of Wonderella]]'', in the fifth panel.
* The [[Amateur Transplants]] have [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlmEc8rd_Nw a song] advertising the fictional wonderdrug 'Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin' (set to the tune of Supacalifrajalisticexpialodocius) which, though capable of curing almost every known disease (as well as 'reversing impotence' and making you 'good at fighting') has a number of side effects including 'nausea, vomiting and losing all your hair...heart attacks, becoming gay and growing extra breasts'. The song also notes that none of the animals the drug was tested on survived, but it's alright because they lied in the research paper.
* The [[Amateur Transplants]] have [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlmEc8rd_Nw a song] advertising the fictional wonderdrug 'Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin' (set to the tune of Supacalifrajalisticexpialodocius) which, though capable of curing almost every known disease (as well as 'reversing impotence' and making you 'good at fighting') has a number of side effects including 'nausea, vomiting and losing all your hair...heart attacks, becoming gay and growing extra breasts'. The song also notes that none of the animals the drug was tested on survived, but it's alright because they lied in the research paper.
* A joke ad on J.K. Rowling's website includes the following fine print: "Healer's warning: side-effects include dizziness, vomiting, and tusks."
* A joke ad on J.K. Rowling's website includes the following fine print: "Healer's warning: side-effects include dizziness, vomiting, and tusks."
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** Had a parody ad, this time for birth control. The voiceover is totally standard, but the video shows Amy Poehler repeatedly seducing men, women, and groups into her apartment, up to an entire wheelchair basketball team.
** Had a parody ad, this time for birth control. The voiceover is totally standard, but the video shows Amy Poehler repeatedly seducing men, women, and groups into her apartment, up to an entire wheelchair basketball team.
** Another skit parodied the usual commercial side effects announced when taking these drugs. It stated that among the side effects would include hallucinations, in which it then described EXACTLY what type of hallucinations you would have: a horrifying surrealist nightmare ending in a choice between two doors. The wrong door leads to hellish misery, but the right one to eternal joy... and a moist, itch-free scalp. [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|And maybe mild flatulence.]]
** Another skit parodied the usual commercial side effects announced when taking these drugs. It stated that among the side effects would include hallucinations, in which it then described EXACTLY what type of hallucinations you would have: a horrifying surrealist nightmare ending in a choice between two doors. The wrong door leads to hellish misery, but the right one to eternal joy... and a moist, itch-free scalp. [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|And maybe mild flatulence.]]
* ''[[Teen Titans (Animation)|Teen Titans]]'' had [http://youtube.com/watch?v=wzzkcYsgHuE a parody of a magical drug, Zinthos], during a [[Trapped in TV Land]] episode. Raven usually intones "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" when using her powers, the commercial advertised Zinthos as from the makers of Azarath and Metrion. Some of the effects of this drug mirror her changes when she loses control of her powers: Multiple eyes, disturbing visions, fits of rage (though not bloating, cramping or loss of hair, thankfully). It also says not to get Zinthos wet, or feed it after midnight, a [[Shout Out]] to the ''[[Gremlins]]'' movies.
* ''[[Teen Titans (animation)|Teen Titans]]'' had [http://youtube.com/watch?v=wzzkcYsgHuE a parody of a magical drug, Zinthos], during a [[Trapped in TV Land]] episode. Raven usually intones "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" when using her powers, the commercial advertised Zinthos as from the makers of Azarath and Metrion. Some of the effects of this drug mirror her changes when she loses control of her powers: Multiple eyes, disturbing visions, fits of rage (though not bloating, cramping or loss of hair, thankfully). It also says not to get Zinthos wet, or feed it after midnight, a [[Shout-Out]] to the ''[[Gremlins]]'' movies.
* Stephen Colbert of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' has a regular segment entitled "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A." (a reference to his honorary doctorate of fine arts), sponsored by the fictional Prescott Pharmaceuticals, in which he constantly pushes drugs in the "Vaxadrin" family. The drugs have such side effects as minor heart explosions, vivid dreams of self-cannibalization, growing teeth ("often in the mouth"), spontaneous pregnancy, increased chances of vampire attack, involuntary [[Narnia]] adventures, and tracheal meerkat colonies.
* Stephen Colbert of ''[[The Colbert Report]]'' has a regular segment entitled "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A." (a reference to his honorary doctorate of fine arts), sponsored by the fictional Prescott Pharmaceuticals, in which he constantly pushes drugs in the "Vaxadrin" family. The drugs have such side effects as minor heart explosions, vivid dreams of self-cannibalization, growing teeth ("often in the mouth"), spontaneous pregnancy, increased chances of vampire attack, involuntary [[Narnia]] adventures, and tracheal meerkat colonies.
* Some adverts (also prevalent in [[Print Media Tropes|print media]]) simply state: "Ask your doctor about _________'s story."
* Some adverts (also prevalent in [[Print Media Tropes|print media]]) simply state: "Ask your doctor about _________'s story."
* Back in the '80s, when Rogaine was still a prescription drug, television commercials about it were pretty vague about what it did, except inasmuch as it pertained in some manner to an active lifestyle. Absent outside information, the most obvious conclusion to reach was that it had something to do with skiing. Calls to the toll-free number during this era required the the operator to mail the information. They couldn't give it out on the phone.
* Back in the '80s, when Rogaine was still a prescription drug, television commercials about it were pretty vague about what it did, except inasmuch as it pertained in some manner to an active lifestyle. Absent outside information, the most obvious conclusion to reach was that it had something to do with skiing. Calls to the toll-free number during this era required the the operator to mail the information. They couldn't give it out on the phone.
* [[Channel Four]] got into a deserved bit of bother from [[Media Watchdogs|Ofcom]] for advertising erectile dysfunction services before the [[Watershed]]. The adverts in question resembled a cross between a relaxation tape and a personal loan advert, and it was only the constant use of words like "erection" that marked them for what they were.
* [[Channel 4]] got into a deserved bit of bother from [[Media Watchdogs|Ofcom]] for advertising erectile dysfunction services before the [[Watershed]]. The adverts in question resembled a cross between a relaxation tape and a personal loan advert, and it was only the constant use of words like "erection" that marked them for what they were.
* ''[[Penny Arcade]]''
* ''[[Penny Arcade]]''
** Parodied in [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/02/08 this strip].
** Parodied in [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/02/08 this strip].
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* The Austin Lounge Lizards lampoon these in their song and cartoon "The Drugs I Need" about a made-up drug called "Progenitorivox", whose side effects include (in song): "Agitation, Palpitations, excessive salivation, constipation, male lactation, rust-colored urination..."
* The Austin Lounge Lizards lampoon these in their song and cartoon "The Drugs I Need" about a made-up drug called "Progenitorivox", whose side effects include (in song): "Agitation, Palpitations, excessive salivation, constipation, male lactation, rust-colored urination..."
* Foamy the squirrel quips about this - "Side effects may cause hallucinations. I'd rather have the runny nose! Fine! I may have some snot on my upper lip, but at least I'm not seeing Elvis in my refrigerator! Dammit!" Also, he has a friend Pilz-E who rambled off a list of side-effects of all the medication he takes. He finishes off with death, but says "but I have a pill, to cure the death."
* Foamy the squirrel quips about this - "Side effects may cause hallucinations. I'd rather have the runny nose! Fine! I may have some snot on my upper lip, but at least I'm not seeing Elvis in my refrigerator! Dammit!" Also, he has a friend Pilz-E who rambled off a list of side-effects of all the medication he takes. He finishes off with death, but says "but I have a pill, to cure the death."
* A viral site for the Pixar movie ''[[Wall E|WALL*E]]'' contains an ad for Xanadou, a medication to induce shopping euphoria. "Side effects may include unpleasant taste, headache, drowsiness and dizziness, headaches, intestinal discomfort and cramping, temporary blindness, bleeding of the gums. Failure to use Xanadou during shopping specific excursions may result in a desire to wear drab clothing, redistribute wealth and property and attend socialist summer camps."
* A viral site for the Pixar movie ''[[WALL-E]]'' contains an ad for Xanadou, a medication to induce shopping euphoria. "Side effects may include unpleasant taste, headache, drowsiness and dizziness, headaches, intestinal discomfort and cramping, temporary blindness, bleeding of the gums. Failure to use Xanadou during shopping specific excursions may result in a desire to wear drab clothing, redistribute wealth and property and attend socialist summer camps."
* [[Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines]] features a cigarette warning with side effects including "jock itch", "alien invasion" and "the death of cute little puppies".
* [[Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines]] features a cigarette warning with side effects including "jock itch", "alien invasion" and "the death of cute little puppies".
* In a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44yrY9YO3tc particularly amusing Avatar Abridged episode], Haru advertises a shampoo called Sexyfine that rearranges a person's DNA and turns them, well, sexyfine. Side effects included headaches, blood clots, green rashes, gonorrhea, albinism, thumb cancer, chocolate cravings, heroin addiction, pregnancy, ear mutation, increased risk of cyborg koala attack, the apocalypse, and [[Portmanteau Couple Name|Zutara]].
* In a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44yrY9YO3tc particularly amusing Avatar Abridged episode], Haru advertises a shampoo called Sexyfine that rearranges a person's DNA and turns them, well, sexyfine. Side effects included headaches, blood clots, green rashes, gonorrhea, albinism, thumb cancer, chocolate cravings, heroin addiction, pregnancy, ear mutation, increased risk of cyborg koala attack, the apocalypse, and [[Portmanteau Couple Name|Zutara]].
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* From [http://www.otterdude.com Dume], [http://www.otterdude.com/?Strip=24 "...Gruesome, Screaming, Meaty Death."]
* From [http://www.otterdude.com Dume], [http://www.otterdude.com/?Strip=24 "...Gruesome, Screaming, Meaty Death."]
* The drug Dylar in Don DeLillo's novel ''White Noise'' has a stated effect that's pretty weird in itself: eliminating the fear of death. However, its side effects are even stranger: causing the user to confuse words with the things they represent, resulting in hallucinations. {{spoiler|And it doesn't work for its intended purpose anyway.}}
* The drug Dylar in Don DeLillo's novel ''White Noise'' has a stated effect that's pretty weird in itself: eliminating the fear of death. However, its side effects are even stranger: causing the user to confuse words with the things they represent, resulting in hallucinations. {{spoiler|And it doesn't work for its intended purpose anyway.}}
* Zydrate from ''[[Repo the Genetic Opera]]''. Ask a gentern if Zydrate is right for you.
* Zydrate from ''[[Repo! The Genetic Opera]]''. Ask a gentern if Zydrate is right for you.
{{quote| Side effects of Zydrate may include [http://www.zydrate.com/drug-information.php arrhythmia, faintness, moderate to severe amnesia, flushing of the face, dry mouth, blurry vision, visual distortions or white spots, nausea and vomiting, constipation, muscle twitches, confusion, euphoria, sedation, itchiness, and increased anxiety, Respiratory or cardiac arrest, coma, hypoventilation (inadequate ventilation), and possibly death.]}}
{{quote| Side effects of Zydrate may include [http://www.zydrate.com/drug-information.php arrhythmia, faintness, moderate to severe amnesia, flushing of the face, dry mouth, blurry vision, visual distortions or white spots, nausea and vomiting, constipation, muscle twitches, confusion, euphoria, sedation, itchiness, and increased anxiety, Respiratory or cardiac arrest, coma, hypoventilation (inadequate ventilation), and possibly death.]}}
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoKSL8eBrW0 Yasmin]. Okay?
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoKSL8eBrW0 Yasmin]. Okay?
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* Midol, a medication for the alleviation of menstrual cramps and related symptoms, is marked "Not to be taken if you are taking medication for prostate cancer". Apparently it's useful for addressing other kinds of cramps, too, some of which men ''are'' able to get.
* Midol, a medication for the alleviation of menstrual cramps and related symptoms, is marked "Not to be taken if you are taking medication for prostate cancer". Apparently it's useful for addressing other kinds of cramps, too, some of which men ''are'' able to get.
* Saw Palmetto is a herbal remedy for enlarged prostate. Apparently "it can interfere with the contraceptive pill".
* Saw Palmetto is a herbal remedy for enlarged prostate. Apparently "it can interfere with the contraceptive pill".
* ''[[American Dad (Animation)|American Dad]]'': Do you sometimes feel irritable, restless, uneasy, sad, normal, or just plain not high? Maybe it's time to try [http://www.hulu.com/watch/122476/american-dad-a-jones-for-a-smith?c=670:717 crack]!
* ''[[American Dad]]'': Do you sometimes feel irritable, restless, uneasy, sad, normal, or just plain not high? Maybe it's time to try [http://www.hulu.com/watch/122476/american-dad-a-jones-for-a-smith?c=670:717 crack]!
{{quote| (Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing your friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack. People who use crack may experience 5-7 years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack.)}}
{{quote| (Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing your friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack. People who use crack may experience 5-7 years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack.)}}
* One Benadryl commercial says "What will you miss when you have an allergy attack?" Probably the same thing you'll miss when you're ''sleeping off that Benadryl'', as one of the side effects is extreme sleepiness. As an interesting note, all "PM" versions of medication, like Tylenol PM and Advil PM, contain Benadryl because of the sleepiness. It is a simple remedy for dogs who are terrified of thunderstorms: the poor dog is too drugged and sleepy to be scared.
* One Benadryl commercial says "What will you miss when you have an allergy attack?" Probably the same thing you'll miss when you're ''sleeping off that Benadryl'', as one of the side effects is extreme sleepiness. As an interesting note, all "PM" versions of medication, like Tylenol PM and Advil PM, contain Benadryl because of the sleepiness. It is a simple remedy for dogs who are terrified of thunderstorms: the poor dog is too drugged and sleepy to be scared.
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