So Bad It's Horrible/Literature: Difference between revisions

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* ''Noir'' by K.W. Jeter is a [[Doorstopper]] [[Cliché Storm|set in a]] [[Dystopia]]n [[Cyberpunk]] [[Crapsack World]]. As the title implies, Jeter attempts to write the whole novel in the style of the narration of a [[Film Noir]] (justified [[In-Universe]] because the main character has had ocular implants that redraw the world as a black-and-white noir film for him). Unfortunately, it reads like a novel-length [[It Was a Dark and Stormy Night|Bulwer-Lytton contest entry]]. Once you've gotten about 200 pages in and already committed too much of your time, you discover that the main character's nothing more than a [[Marty Stu]] "Copyright Cop" who spends the rest of the book [[Author Filibuster|discussing how people who infringe copyrights]] should be ''[[Disproportionate Retribution|dismembered and tortured]]'' because, in the Information Age setting of the book, [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|copyright theft is worse]] than virtually ''all'' other crimes. The book's nothing more than a '''very long''' [[Author Tract]] — Jeter's website indicates that he believes in his message. Adding insult to injury, there's a few interesting concepts [[They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot|that are almost entirely discarded]] [[Plot Tumor|in favor of copyright ranting]].
* ''Noir'' by K.W. Jeter is a [[Doorstopper]] [[Cliché Storm|set in a]] [[Dystopia]]n [[Cyberpunk]] [[Crapsack World]]. As the title implies, Jeter attempts to write the whole novel in the style of the narration of a [[Film Noir]] (justified [[In-Universe]] because the main character has had ocular implants that redraw the world as a black-and-white noir film for him). Unfortunately, it reads like a novel-length [[It Was a Dark and Stormy Night|Bulwer-Lytton contest entry]]. Once you've gotten about 200 pages in and already committed too much of your time, you discover that the main character's nothing more than a [[Marty Stu]] "Copyright Cop" who spends the rest of the book [[Author Filibuster|discussing how people who infringe copyrights]] should be ''[[Disproportionate Retribution|dismembered and tortured]]'' because, in the Information Age setting of the book, [[What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?|copyright theft is worse]] than virtually ''all'' other crimes. The book's nothing more than a '''very long''' [[Author Tract]] — Jeter's website indicates that he believes in his message. Adding insult to injury, there's a few interesting concepts [[They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot|that are almost entirely discarded]] [[Plot Tumor|in favor of copyright ranting]].
* ''No Touching'' by Aileen Deng. Let's put it this way — the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, [[Old Shame|who were responsible for its very commissioning, would kindly like to forget it ever existed]]. The only way to express it would be Elizabeth the Gray's review [http://www.amazon.com/No-Touching-Aileen-Deng/dp/1449900313 here.]
* ''No Touching'' by Aileen Deng. Let's put it this way — the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, [[Old Shame|who were responsible for its very commissioning, would kindly like to forget it ever existed]]. The only way to express it would be Elizabeth the Gray's review [http://www.amazon.com/No-Touching-Aileen-Deng/dp/1449900313 here.]
** Note that the book has a 3.5-star average on Amazon. Elizabeth gave it one star, and two people who haven't reviewed ''anything else on the site'' gave it four and five stars. Suspicious...
** Note that the book has a 3.5-star average on Amazon. Elizabeth and two other people gave it one star each, and two people who haven't reviewed ''anything else on the site'' gave it four and five stars. Suspicious...
* ''Org's Odyssey'' by Duke Otterland. The whole plot is a [[Cliché Storm]] of a fantasy novel about Org of Otterland, a hero born from the daughter of a god who must save Anglia from evil. The beginning explains how the Anthropians came to be, but it comes off as [[Purple Prose]]. Moreover, the battles are unfair — the good guys outnumber the evildoers [[One Sided Battle|7 to 1]]. See the reviews [http://www.amazon.com/Orgs-Odyssey-Tale-Post-human-Earth/dp/0595316794 here.]
* ''Org's Odyssey'' by Duke Otterland. The whole plot is a [[Cliché Storm]] of a fantasy novel about Org of Otterland, a hero born from the daughter of a god who must save Anglia from evil. The beginning explains how the Anthropians came to be, but it comes off as [[Purple Prose]]. Moreover, the battles are unfair — the good guys outnumber the evildoers [[One Sided Battle|7 to 1]]. See the reviews [http://www.amazon.com/Orgs-Odyssey-Tale-Post-human-Earth/dp/0595316794 here.]
** More recently, it's become the replacement read for ''The Eye of Argon'' at [[Anthro Con]], which started the two-hour session with four readers and ended with over 30. It's figured there's enough fresh material for almost a decade.
** More recently, it's become the replacement read for ''The Eye of Argon'' at [[Anthro Con]], which started the two-hour session with four readers and ended with over 30. It's figured there's enough fresh material for almost a decade.
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{{quote|''"these liberated chestnut curls framed a handsome face made twice as radiant by the mysteries surely waiting just behind those light green eyes."''}}
{{quote|''"these liberated chestnut curls framed a handsome face made twice as radiant by the mysteries surely waiting just behind those light green eyes."''}}
** The book is even worse than previously thought established. [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/glenn-becks-new-novel-abo_b_613861.html It turns out] ''The Overton Window'' is a blatant retread of the 2005 thriller ''Circumference of Darkness''. ''Overton'' was even ghostwritten by ''Circumference'' writer Jack Henderson. The only difference is that the names are swapped, and the bad guys in ''Overton'' are left-wing lunatics instead of right-wing lunatics.
** The book is even worse than previously thought established. [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/glenn-becks-new-novel-abo_b_613861.html It turns out] ''The Overton Window'' is a blatant retread of the 2005 thriller ''Circumference of Darkness''. ''Overton'' was even ghostwritten by ''Circumference'' writer Jack Henderson. The only difference is that the names are swapped, and the bad guys in ''Overton'' are left-wing lunatics instead of right-wing lunatics.
* Pacione, Nickolaus. He is a horror writer known for self-publishing unreadable, barely literate, mistake-riddled prose, but even better known for picking fights with everyone on the Internet that dislikes his work (up to and including threatening murder, the rape of their children and the like). Read any sentence of his writings, if you dare.
* Pacione, Nickolaus. He is a horror writer known for self-publishing unreadable, barely literate, mistake-riddled prose, but even better known for picking fights with everyone on the Internet that dislikes his work (up to and including threatening murder, the rape of their children and the like). Even if one doesn't account for his litigious nature, his writing is genuinely atrocious. We can't link any of his writings because he has an habit of self-googling (and the original TV Tropes had to erase his mention in their version of this page because of it), but you can easily find his works online. Read any ''sentence'' of his writings, if you dare.
* The ''[[Doctor Who]] [[Virgin New Adventures|New Adventures]]'' story ''The Pit'' by Neil Penswick is commonly regarded as the worst ''Doctor Who'' novel of all time, not least because of the tedious nature of the story, which is written entirely in [[Beige Prose]] to boot. The Doctor is completely useless and does virtually nothing throughout—which to be fair was part of a larger ''New Adventures'' [[Story Arc]], but is taken WAY overboard in this novel—and Bernice Summerfield acts completely out of character, coming across as cold-hearted and irritable. Legendary poet William Blake appears as one of the main characters, but is completely wasted and just spends most of his time complaining about the situation he's in. Worst of all, the whole thing ends up being one giant [[Shaggy Dog Story]], making it even more infuriating to have to sit through the bland and confusing storyline. Fortunately, you don't have to read through the whole thing; [http://www.drwhoguide.com/whona12p.htm this prologue] (originally published in ''[[Doctor Who Magazine]]'' illustrates its main problems well enough.
* The ''[[Doctor Who]] [[Virgin New Adventures|New Adventures]]'' story ''The Pit'' by Neil Penswick is commonly regarded as the worst ''Doctor Who'' novel of all time, not least because of the tedious nature of the story, which is written entirely in [[Beige Prose]] to boot. The Doctor is completely useless and does virtually nothing throughout—which to be fair was part of a larger ''New Adventures'' [[Story Arc]], but is taken WAY overboard in this novel—and Bernice Summerfield acts completely out of character, coming across as cold-hearted and irritable. Legendary poet William Blake appears as one of the main characters, but is completely wasted and just spends most of his time complaining about the situation he's in. Worst of all, the whole thing ends up being one giant [[Shaggy Dog Story]], making it even more infuriating to have to sit through the bland and confusing storyline. Fortunately, you don't have to read through the whole thing; [http://www.drwhoguide.com/whona12p.htm this prologue] (originally published in ''[[Doctor Who Magazine]]'' illustrates its main problems well enough.
* After the runaway success of [[The Hunger Games]], one Victoria Foyt decided to release her own take on dystopic YA fiction, ''Save the Pearls: Revealing Eden''. Too bad that her book, who portrayed a case of [[Persecution Flip]], was in truth both horribly racist and atrociously written. One important part of the plot is that the heroine must disguise her whiteness with hair dye and makeup and is forced to get a "mate", which is translated in the promotional video as the hired actress essentially asking for a boyfriendv while in [[Blackface]]. Amont the most notorious setting fails: the allegedly opressed people had a prettiest group name than the opressors, the black people are despited as either animalistic or bad Afro-American clichés, and one of the heroine interest is apparently a were-feline of some sort. The writting itself was atrociously bad even not acounting for the racism.
* After the runaway success of [[The Hunger Games]], one Victoria Foyt decided to release her own take on dystopic YA fiction, ''Save the Pearls: Revealing Eden''. Too bad that her book, who portrayed a case of [[Persecution Flip]], was in truth both horribly racist and atrociously written. One important part of the plot is that the heroine must disguise her whiteness with hair dye and makeup and is forced to get a "mate", which is translated in the promotional video as the hired actress essentially asking for a boyfriend while in [[Blackface]]. Along the most notorious setting fails: the allegedly oppressed people had a prettiest group name than the oppressors, the black people are despited as either animalistic or bad Afro-American clichés, and one of the heroine love interest is apparently a were-feline of some sort. The writing itself was atrociously bad even when not accounting for the racism. [http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/461036.html This ongoing sporking] says everything you need to know.
* ''The Sacred Seven'' by Amy Stout is a deservedly obscure fantasy "epic" which is nevertheless only novella-length. The plot's a [[Cliché Storm]] in which a [[Big Bad]] [[Evil Sorcerer]] is trying to take over the world and playing [[MacGuffin]] [[Gotta Catch Them All]]. The attempts at "originality" are things like forest dwarves and the [[Big Bad]] being a female elf leading a troll army instead of the traditional orc army. But what makes this book special is that it has over two dozen point-of-view characters over its meager pagecount in a large font. Most ''pages'' have at least one POV switch, which can be to a character in a completely different geographic location having completely different adventures. As you might expect, none of the [[Loads and Loads of Characters]] have [[Flat Character|much of a detectable personality]]. The whole thing reads like an internet round robin written by a bunch of teenagers. Oh, and there's a sequel called ''The Royal Four''.
* ''The Sacred Seven'' by Amy Stout is a deservedly obscure fantasy "epic" which is nevertheless only novella-length. The plot's a [[Cliché Storm]] in which a [[Big Bad]] [[Evil Sorcerer]] is trying to take over the world and playing [[MacGuffin]] [[Gotta Catch Them All]]. The attempts at "originality" are things like forest dwarves and the [[Big Bad]] being a female elf leading a troll army instead of the traditional orc army. But what makes this book special is that it has over two dozen point-of-view characters over its meager pagecount in a large font. Most ''pages'' have at least one POV switch, which can be to a character in a completely different geographic location having completely different adventures. As you might expect, none of the [[Loads and Loads of Characters]] have [[Flat Character|much of a detectable personality]]. The whole thing reads like an internet round robin written by a bunch of teenagers. Oh, and there's a sequel called ''The Royal Four''.
* ''La Séptima M'' (''The Seventh M''), a mystery YA book written by Chilean author Francisca Solar, is known as being legendarily bad among the hispanic readers that got to read it. It has everything to fail: a poorly paced plot that ripped off better [[filler]] episodes of [[The X-Files]], characters who switched between boring and unlikeable, a [[Mary Sue|Mary-Suesque heroine]] with an [[Ambiguous Disorder]], several investigation failures (the most notorious one [[Artistic License Pharmacology|was about a psychiatric medicine that the author couldn't decide what effects really had]]), and very pretentious and [[Purple Prose|purple]] writing who got a bad case of [[Separated by a Common Language]]. Intended to be the first of a series, the book somehow managed to get a sequel published... about five years later, on digital format only, in a region where the purchasing of digital content lags way behind the rest of the world.
* The written sequel to [[George Lucas]]' fantasy movie ''[[Willow]]'', ''Shadow Moon'' (No, not [[Kamen Rider Black|that one]]) by [[Chris Claremont]], is a [[Doorstopper]] written in such a mind-numbing style that enduring the lengthy bland descriptions to get to the mind-numbing plot about the new adventures of Willow requires endurance few readers possess. The rest of the trilogy is supposed to be even worse, but confirming this is difficult for obvious reasons.
* The written sequel to [[George Lucas]]' fantasy movie ''[[Willow]]'', ''Shadow Moon'' (No, not [[Kamen Rider Black|that one]]) by [[Chris Claremont]], is a [[Doorstopper]] written in such a mind-numbing style that enduring the lengthy bland descriptions to get to the mind-numbing plot about the new adventures of Willow requires endurance few readers possess. The rest of the trilogy is supposed to be even worse, but confirming this is difficult for obvious reasons.
* A book that would've barely been a blip if not for the internet — Janine Cross' ''[[Touched By Venom]]'' (aka ''The "Venom Cock" Book''). "''[[Dragonriders of Pern]]'', ''[[Gor]]'', and ''[[Clan of the Cave Bear]]'' get thrown into a blender and topped off with extra helpings of pain and suffering (and bestiality)" is the closest one can come up with as a thumbnail sketch for the plot. To the author's credit, she creates a [[Crapsack World]] and never tries to pretend it's anything but. No [[Writer on Board]] here. And the two sequels are markedly improved (not ''good'', mind you, but not Horrible) and explain many of the baffling plot points in ''Venom'' (like why a society that worships dragons as divine would use them as pack animals, routinely amputate their wings, and eat their eggs as a staple food). The problem here, aside from this book not standing alone, is that Cross takes [[It Got Worse]] to [[Diabolus Ex Machina|ludicrous degrees]] — the Dragon Temple screws Zarq's serf enclave out of all their worldly possessions on a technicality? Sell Zarq's sister into [[A Fate Worse Than Death|sex slavery]] to buy food and supplies. Mom schemes to get her back? Scheme backfires, resulting in Dad's execution and Mom and Zarq's banishment. (Did we mention Mom's pregnant, and they're kicked out immediately after she gives birth to a son she's not even allowed to hold?) They find refuge in a convent that houses old dragons? Just in time for Mom to drop dead! Then Zarq has to undergo [[Gorn|"circumcision"]] to be considered "clean and holy". The nuns hold bestiality rites with the old dragons. And all that occurs in the ''first half of the book''. (And yes, [[It Got Worse|it does get worse]] — the damage finally spreads to those around Zarq.)
* A book that would've barely been a blip if not for the internet — Janine Cross' ''[[Touched By Venom]]'' (aka ''The "Venom Cock" Book''). "''[[Dragonriders of Pern]]'', ''[[Gor]]'', and ''[[Clan of the Cave Bear]]'' get thrown into a blender and topped off with extra helpings of pain and suffering (and bestiality)" is the closest one can come up with as a thumbnail sketch for the plot. To the author's credit, she creates a [[Crapsack World]] and never tries to pretend it's anything but. No [[Writer on Board]] here. And the two sequels are markedly improved (not ''good'', mind you, but not Horrible) and explain many of the baffling plot points in ''Venom'' (like why a society that worships dragons as divine would use them as pack animals, routinely amputate their wings, and eat their eggs as a staple food). The problem here, aside from this book not standing alone, is that Cross takes [[It Got Worse]] to [[Diabolus Ex Machina|ludicrous degrees]] — the Dragon Temple screws Zarq's serf enclave out of all their worldly possessions on a technicality? Sell Zarq's sister into [[A Fate Worse Than Death|sex slavery]] to buy food and supplies. Mom schemes to get her back? Scheme backfires, resulting in Dad's execution and Mom and Zarq's banishment. (Did we mention Mom's pregnant, and they're kicked out immediately after she gives birth to a son she's not even allowed to hold?) They find refuge in a convent that houses old dragons? Just in time for Mom to drop dead! Then Zarq has to undergo [[Gorn|"circumcision"]] to be considered "clean and holy". The nuns hold bestiality rites with the old dragons. And all that occurs in the ''first half of the book''. (And yes, [[It Got Worse|it does get worse]] — the damage finally spreads to those around Zarq.)
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