So You Want To/Avoid Writing a Mary Sue: Difference between revisions

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=== The accidental Sue ===
=== The accidental Sue ===


First, we need to establish a distinction between an intentional [[Mary Sue]] and an accidental one. Characters like Rose Potter or [[My Inner Life (Fanfic)|Jenna Silverblade]], for example, are very clearly [[Mary Sue|Mary Sues]], but that's what the author ''wants''. Oh, [[Most Fan Fic Writers Are Female|she]] doesn't want the criticism of the character being called a [[Mary Sue]], but it is clear that the author has deliberately written one. This guide is not intended to deal with that kind of [[Mary Sue]].
First, we need to establish a distinction between an intentional [[Mary Sue]] and an accidental one. Characters like Rose Potter or [[My Inner Life|Jenna Silverblade]], for example, are very clearly [[Mary Sue|Mary Sues]], but that's what the author ''wants''. Oh, [[Most Fan Fic Writers Are Female|she]] doesn't want the criticism of the character being called a [[Mary Sue]], but it is clear that the author has deliberately written one. This guide is not intended to deal with that kind of [[Mary Sue]].


The second thing you need to understand is what a Mary Sue is. A Mary Sue is an audience reaction to a series of events that strongly suggests that the author herself is unduly favoring a character by changing other characters or the environment in inappropriate ways. When the audience calls "Mary Sue" on a character, the author has shattered their [[Willing Suspension of Disbelief]]. There are a number of subjective points here, which naturally means that everyone's Mary Sue threshold is different. But it does suggest some places to look.
The second thing you need to understand is what a Mary Sue is. A Mary Sue is an audience reaction to a series of events that strongly suggests that the author herself is unduly favoring a character by changing other characters or the environment in inappropriate ways. When the audience calls "Mary Sue" on a character, the author has shattered their [[Willing Suspension of Disbelief]]. There are a number of subjective points here, which naturally means that everyone's Mary Sue threshold is different. But it does suggest some places to look.
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* '''The Big One:''' lot of examples on this page can be summed up as ''your character must fit within the established world''. Don't create a special character to your personal liking and just plunk her inside a story; you must cultivate her out of the world you're writing. When you start creating a character, instead of thinking, "What would be a cool character?" you should ask yourself, "What would be a plausible character already living in this world, and how can I make her interesting and exciting to read about?"
* '''The Big One:''' lot of examples on this page can be summed up as ''your character must fit within the established world''. Don't create a special character to your personal liking and just plunk her inside a story; you must cultivate her out of the world you're writing. When you start creating a character, instead of thinking, "What would be a cool character?" you should ask yourself, "What would be a plausible character already living in this world, and how can I make her interesting and exciting to read about?"
* Entitlements. If your original character starts getting things, whether actual possessions or simply respect, from actual canon characters too soon after his or her introduction, this will have readers leaving in droves. Even if there is some explanation. Avoid this until some level of trust is formed (ie: keep it out of the early chapters).
* Entitlements. If your original character starts getting things, whether actual possessions or simply respect, from actual canon characters too soon after his or her introduction, this will have readers leaving in droves. Even if there is some explanation. Avoid this until some level of trust is formed (ie: keep it out of the early chapters).
* Violations of canon. Every canon has [[Magic A Is Magic A|rules]]. If a character starts breaking the rules, readers are going to call Mary Sue very fast, unless there a really good explanation that is given immediately. Villains might be able to get away with it, but certainly not a new character.
* Violations of canon. Every canon has [[Magic a Is Magic A|rules]]. If a character starts breaking the rules, readers are going to call Mary Sue very fast, unless there a really good explanation that is given immediately. Villains might be able to get away with it, but certainly not a new character.
* [[Remember the New Guy|Backstorying in an original character]]. This is always suspicious to the cynical fanfic reader. ''Especially'' if it is a romantic relationship. Speaking of which:
* [[Remember the New Guy?|Backstorying in an original character]]. This is always suspicious to the cynical fanfic reader. ''Especially'' if it is a romantic relationship. Speaking of which:
* Romancing canon characters. If the story is all about an original character romancing a canon character, people are generally going to call Mary Sue on that. And those who don't certainly will if a canon relationship is broken up to do it. If any romance is going to take place, it needs to be relevant to the overall plot and contribute to character development, and it can't [[Romantic Plot Tumor|overwhelm the rest of the narrative]].
* Romancing canon characters. If the story is all about an original character romancing a canon character, people are generally going to call Mary Sue on that. And those who don't certainly will if a canon relationship is broken up to do it. If any romance is going to take place, it needs to be relevant to the overall plot and contribute to character development, and it can't [[Romantic Plot Tumor|overwhelm the rest of the narrative]].
* Overtly flowery descriptions of original characters. Most Mary Sue-based fanfiction is poorly written, and thus will contain lavish descriptions of original characters. Avoid doing this early on in a story.
* Overtly flowery descriptions of original characters. Most Mary Sue-based fanfiction is poorly written, and thus will contain lavish descriptions of original characters. Avoid doing this early on in a story.
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* When describing the character, it should never come across as the author telling the audience to like the character. Unless it's through the viewpoint of a character, in a way consistent with their characterization, avoid using purely subjective terms or comparisons. For example, if the character has long blonde hair, just simply say she has long blonde hair with maybe an added detail or two if it's important. Don't say "she has the most magnificent flowing golden hair since Sandro Botticelli painted Aphrodite on a clamshell". Telling the audience to like your character usually just ends with the exact opposite reaction. In general, follow the "[[Show, Don't Tell]]" rule.
* When describing the character, it should never come across as the author telling the audience to like the character. Unless it's through the viewpoint of a character, in a way consistent with their characterization, avoid using purely subjective terms or comparisons. For example, if the character has long blonde hair, just simply say she has long blonde hair with maybe an added detail or two if it's important. Don't say "she has the most magnificent flowing golden hair since Sandro Botticelli painted Aphrodite on a clamshell". Telling the audience to like your character usually just ends with the exact opposite reaction. In general, follow the "[[Show, Don't Tell]]" rule.
** It is equally important to avoid editorials when discussing the world's reaction to the character. Saying "Everybody always picked on her, but this was because they were jealous of her" is a surefire red flag that one is not only writing an autobiography, but laboring with a self-imposed delusion.
** It is equally important to avoid editorials when discussing the world's reaction to the character. Saying "Everybody always picked on her, but this was because they were jealous of her" is a surefire red flag that one is not only writing an autobiography, but laboring with a self-imposed delusion.
* Figure out everything that could even remotely be considered "special" about your character ''before you start writing''. Never give your character [[New Powers As the Plot Demands|special skills,]] [[Remember the New Guy|relationships to existing characters,]] (unless it's an original work, and not fan fiction) or [[Retcon|exotic backstory elements]] as you go along.
* Figure out everything that could even remotely be considered "special" about your character ''before you start writing''. Never give your character [[New Powers as the Plot Demands|special skills,]] [[Remember the New Guy?|relationships to existing characters,]] (unless it's an original work, and not fan fiction) or [[Retcon|exotic backstory elements]] as you go along.
* When giving your character special traits, remember that traits must exist for a reason more plausible than just being awesome. When coming up with your character's history, start with the single most interesting thing about your character - the reason you want to write about this person in the first place - and then work backwards. Create a history for your character that can be described in terms of relatively boring causes and effects of that one interesting thing. Come up with both negative and positive experiences your character has had and personality traits he or she has developed as a result of that one interesting thing, rather than just listing a bunch of awesome but unrelated abilities or character quirks.
* When giving your character special traits, remember that traits must exist for a reason more plausible than just being awesome. When coming up with your character's history, start with the single most interesting thing about your character - the reason you want to write about this person in the first place - and then work backwards. Create a history for your character that can be described in terms of relatively boring causes and effects of that one interesting thing. Come up with both negative and positive experiences your character has had and personality traits he or she has developed as a result of that one interesting thing, rather than just listing a bunch of awesome but unrelated abilities or character quirks.
* In fan fiction, it's okay for your character to be better than canon characters at some things (especially if the main cast has an established skill gap that has not been filled), but don't make your character be better than an existing character at that character's specialty. Never make existing characters obsolete with your character's awesomeness.
* In fan fiction, it's okay for your character to be better than canon characters at some things (especially if the main cast has an established skill gap that has not been filled), but don't make your character be better than an existing character at that character's specialty. Never make existing characters obsolete with your character's awesomeness.
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*** Nifty trick - a flaw is a weak point in the character's personal armor. [[Attack Its Weak Point|If it just comes up but nobody ever attacks it, what's the point of it being there?]]
*** Nifty trick - a flaw is a weak point in the character's personal armor. [[Attack Its Weak Point|If it just comes up but nobody ever attacks it, what's the point of it being there?]]
* If your character has particular abilities or personality traits - good or bad - then demonstrate them clearly and logically within the plot; don't just have the other characters [[Informed Ability|talk him or her up all the time]]. Having all the other characters talk about how wonderful or amazing your character is isn't going to make the audience like her any more, especially if you don't demonstrate them; it will in fact probably have the opposite reaction.
* If your character has particular abilities or personality traits - good or bad - then demonstrate them clearly and logically within the plot; don't just have the other characters [[Informed Ability|talk him or her up all the time]]. Having all the other characters talk about how wonderful or amazing your character is isn't going to make the audience like her any more, especially if you don't demonstrate them; it will in fact probably have the opposite reaction.
* Go light on the [[Jerk Sue|snark.]] It's okay to make your character a [[Jerk With a Heart of Gold]], but do remember the "...With A Heart Of Gold" part. She must have ''some'' redeeming qualities that make the other characters tolerate her.
* Go light on the [[Jerk Sue|snark.]] It's okay to make your character a [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]], but do remember the "...With A Heart Of Gold" part. She must have ''some'' redeeming qualities that make the other characters tolerate her.


==== Skills ====
==== Skills ====
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* One of the most important facts of life (and in fiction in most cases) to take into consideration is that what one person may view as "beautiful" may be different from what another person thinks. You can have an average-looking character (i.e. a girl who doesn't wear make-up, sexy clothes, someone who isn't a beauty queen and prefers to go the natural beauty route) who may look like the most beautiful person in the world/universe to some people, while others may view her as not so beautiful.
* One of the most important facts of life (and in fiction in most cases) to take into consideration is that what one person may view as "beautiful" may be different from what another person thinks. You can have an average-looking character (i.e. a girl who doesn't wear make-up, sexy clothes, someone who isn't a beauty queen and prefers to go the natural beauty route) who may look like the most beautiful person in the world/universe to some people, while others may view her as not so beautiful.
** Could even be used as part of the plot, for example: The character believes in said viewpoint about personal preference when it comes to beauty, but may also have low self-esteem about her own appearance. The villain can be a [[Manipulative Bastard]] and convince her otherwise by praising her beauty, in an attempt to gain her trust, make a [[Face Heel Turn]], and use her as a pawn.
** Could even be used as part of the plot, for example: The character believes in said viewpoint about personal preference when it comes to beauty, but may also have low self-esteem about her own appearance. The villain can be a [[Manipulative Bastard]] and convince her otherwise by praising her beauty, in an attempt to gain her trust, make a [[Face Heel Turn]], and use her as a pawn.
* Fancy, ultra detailed costumes had best fit in the setting. A lot of [[RPG|RPGs]] would allow costumes like that, but ''[[Harry Potter (Literature)|Harry Potter]]'' would not. Keep the clothing reasonable to the setting. If you want a minor costume quirk, that can often work far better than a bunch of extra frills.
* Fancy, ultra detailed costumes had best fit in the setting. A lot of [[RPG|RPGs]] would allow costumes like that, but ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]'' would not. Keep the clothing reasonable to the setting. If you want a minor costume quirk, that can often work far better than a bunch of extra frills.
** If you are going to spout [[Costume Porn]] about the character, make sure this character is not the only one. Although many would like this trope kept to a minimum, reserving it for one character or two is another way to almost instantly make the character look like a Sue.
** If you are going to spout [[Costume Porn]] about the character, make sure this character is not the only one. Although many would like this trope kept to a minimum, reserving it for one character or two is another way to almost instantly make the character look like a Sue.
** Odd costumes might make sense if your character's a [[Cloudcuckoolander]].
** Odd costumes might make sense if your character's a [[Cloudcuckoolander]].
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* Tragedy in the [[Backstory]] is common even for Canon characters. Just don't have your character's tragedies outweigh those of the main character - considering all the tragedies main characters go through, it shouldn't be THAT hard. And remember, if it's not going to play a part in the story, DON'T HAVE IT.
* Tragedy in the [[Backstory]] is common even for Canon characters. Just don't have your character's tragedies outweigh those of the main character - considering all the tragedies main characters go through, it shouldn't be THAT hard. And remember, if it's not going to play a part in the story, DON'T HAVE IT.
** Pick ''one'' tragedy to befall your character in the past and build on that, instead a mountain of travesty. If your character was orphaned at a young age, tormented by classmates, beaten and/or raped by a drunken foster father, then ran away from home and turned tricks to survive...at 12 years old, you ''are most definitely'' laying it on too thick. Any one of these can add the necessary angst without going overboard.
** Pick ''one'' tragedy to befall your character in the past and build on that, instead a mountain of travesty. If your character was orphaned at a young age, tormented by classmates, beaten and/or raped by a drunken foster father, then ran away from home and turned tricks to survive...at 12 years old, you ''are most definitely'' laying it on too thick. Any one of these can add the necessary angst without going overboard.
** Whatever the tragedy, [[Did Not Do the Research|please be respectful to the real life victims and do the actual research]] ''first.'' Especially if your character has [[Rape As Backstory]], since this is quite the Mary Sue cliche.
** Whatever the tragedy, [[Did Not Do the Research|please be respectful to the real life victims and do the actual research]] ''first.'' Especially if your character has [[Rape as Backstory]], since this is quite the Mary Sue cliche.
* Similarly, if your character is still affected by her tragic backstory, make sure you properly demonstrate why she still hurts.<br />Maybe it happened recently.<br />Maybe it has something to do with the [[Power of Trust]], which can last a long time.<br />Maybe it's an old wound reopened recently.<br />Maybe the small town/organization has a long memory and won't let the character forget. Having a character angst over small slights, imaginary persecution or things that happened long ago just makes the sorrow look cheap.<br />Or maybe your [[Original Character]] just ''refuses'' to let the past go (especially if it ''was'' a big deal when it happened). But remember that if this is the case, this can be a serious mental issue in [[Real Life]] and should be an integral part of your character's personality.
* Similarly, if your character is still affected by her tragic backstory, make sure you properly demonstrate why she still hurts.<br />Maybe it happened recently.<br />Maybe it has something to do with the [[Power of Trust]], which can last a long time.<br />Maybe it's an old wound reopened recently.<br />Maybe the small town/organization has a long memory and won't let the character forget. Having a character angst over small slights, imaginary persecution or things that happened long ago just makes the sorrow look cheap.<br />Or maybe your [[Original Character]] just ''refuses'' to let the past go (especially if it ''was'' a big deal when it happened). But remember that if this is the case, this can be a serious mental issue in [[Real Life]] and should be an integral part of your character's personality.
** And make sure that your character reacts in an appropriate manner to her tragic backstory, particularly in comparison to other characters; if your character has ''less'' reason to angst (either vocally or internally) than the other characters yet angsts ''more'' than they do, it won't make the reader feel more sorry for your character.
** And make sure that your character reacts in an appropriate manner to her tragic backstory, particularly in comparison to other characters; if your character has ''less'' reason to angst (either vocally or internally) than the other characters yet angsts ''more'' than they do, it won't make the reader feel more sorry for your character.
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* Redeeming the villain is not out of the question, but don't use [[Easy Evangelism]] or [[Redemption Equals Sex]]. Try to keep it within how it would fit in the story. Perhaps your character just incidentally, or accidentally, does the things that could help the villain when the other characters didn't in the canon story. Perhaps your character sees some good in the villain and makes it a mission to save him or her. Your character's arc could revolve around this idea, but make sure the villain's portrayal has grounding in the canon...and that a canon character didn't already do it. [[Star Wars|Luke saved Vader]]; your character doesn't need to do it again.
* Redeeming the villain is not out of the question, but don't use [[Easy Evangelism]] or [[Redemption Equals Sex]]. Try to keep it within how it would fit in the story. Perhaps your character just incidentally, or accidentally, does the things that could help the villain when the other characters didn't in the canon story. Perhaps your character sees some good in the villain and makes it a mission to save him or her. Your character's arc could revolve around this idea, but make sure the villain's portrayal has grounding in the canon...and that a canon character didn't already do it. [[Star Wars|Luke saved Vader]]; your character doesn't need to do it again.
* A [[Princess]], or other kind of royalty, could work as an Original Character so long as such a position fits in the setting.
* A [[Princess]], or other kind of royalty, could work as an Original Character so long as such a position fits in the setting.
* Your character should still obey [[Magic A Is Magic A]] if the main characters do.
* Your character should still obey [[Magic a Is Magic A]] if the main characters do.
** Similarly, if the other characters master an ability said to be very rarely mastered, don't let ''your'' character have this ability. Just... don't. It's easier that way.
** Similarly, if the other characters master an ability said to be very rarely mastered, don't let ''your'' character have this ability. Just... don't. It's easier that way.
*** And if she is ''trying'' to learn it, do ''not'' give her instant success. Rather, you may wish to show minimal success. Summoning, for example: let her pull an obedient canary out of thin air instead of some [[Crazy Awesome]] monster. Something like this can make for a good [[Chekhov's Gun]] later down the road. For example: Character is in a prison cell, the keys are in another room, she can just send the bird after them (but for your character's sake, do not abuse it and have this happen on the very next page). BUT, give her more failures then anything else (canary comes out with razor sharp talons, three heads, and a thirst for human blood) to show that she is far from perfectly skilled at it. You want her to master it? Save it for the sequel, if you get that far.
*** And if she is ''trying'' to learn it, do ''not'' give her instant success. Rather, you may wish to show minimal success. Summoning, for example: let her pull an obedient canary out of thin air instead of some [[Crazy Awesome]] monster. Something like this can make for a good [[Chekhov's Gun]] later down the road. For example: Character is in a prison cell, the keys are in another room, she can just send the bird after them (but for your character's sake, do not abuse it and have this happen on the very next page). BUT, give her more failures then anything else (canary comes out with razor sharp talons, three heads, and a thirst for human blood) to show that she is far from perfectly skilled at it. You want her to master it? Save it for the sequel, if you get that far.
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** There's no real need for a [[Blind Idiot Translation]] - [http://hanzismatter.blogspot.com/ Hanzi Smatter] shows just how common this is. A character unwittingly named something like "Chronic Nasal Congestion" will immediately send you into [[Narm]] territory.
** There's no real need for a [[Blind Idiot Translation]] - [http://hanzismatter.blogspot.com/ Hanzi Smatter] shows just how common this is. A character unwittingly named something like "Chronic Nasal Congestion" will immediately send you into [[Narm]] territory.
* Use names involving gemstones, flowers, and colours with extreme discretion (unless it's the norm for that universe)
* Use names involving gemstones, flowers, and colours with extreme discretion (unless it's the norm for that universe)
* If you want a name from any other language than your own default language, make sure the setting allows it...and that it's an actual name. People making up 'Japanese-sounding' names are the greatest offenders here; adding "-ko" to the end of [[As Long As It Sounds Foreign|a few vaguely Asian-sounding syllables]] is right out.
* If you want a name from any other language than your own default language, make sure the setting allows it...and that it's an actual name. People making up 'Japanese-sounding' names are the greatest offenders here; adding "-ko" to the end of [[As Long as It Sounds Foreign|a few vaguely Asian-sounding syllables]] is right out.
** There is NO excuse for making up names in an existing language. If you want a foreign name, you can find a genuine one on any number of baby name dictionaries on the Internet.
** There is NO excuse for making up names in an existing language. If you want a foreign name, you can find a genuine one on any number of baby name dictionaries on the Internet.
* Do not give your character a name with a 'creative' alternate spelling just to make her seem more special or unique. Jennifer is no less special or interesting than a Jynnifyr. This includes excessive punctuation, such as Jy'n'ff'er or J'yn-i-Ffer. It's much more likely to pull your readers out of your world and into one where they laugh or gag (depending on the reader) at your poor sense in naming<ref>An exception would be if it's your character's [[Embarrassing First Name]] due to parents thinking it would be a cute name, and your character prefers to use the proper spelling</ref>.
* Do not give your character a name with a 'creative' alternate spelling just to make her seem more special or unique. Jennifer is no less special or interesting than a Jynnifyr. This includes excessive punctuation, such as Jy'n'ff'er or J'yn-i-Ffer. It's much more likely to pull your readers out of your world and into one where they laugh or gag (depending on the reader) at your poor sense in naming<ref>An exception would be if it's your character's [[Embarrassing First Name]] due to parents thinking it would be a cute name, and your character prefers to use the proper spelling</ref>.
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