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{{trope}}
[[File:Spoony Bard.jpg|link=Final Fantasy IV|frame|[[Woolseyism|Damn his spooniness!]]]]
{{quote|''spoony \SPOO-nee\, ''adjective'':
1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.
2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.''
|'''Dictionary.com'''}}
Ah, the much-maligned bard class... For some reason, bards are very frequently unable to ever become anything useful. They are the butt of jokes, they are often [[Final Fantasy IV|beaten by old men with canes]], and sometimes their friends [[The Gamers|use a mountain of bard corpses as convenient cover]].
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It rarely works as intended. Bards usually become spoony when they run into one of two major problems:
* First, bards can often be an attempt at being a [[Jack of All Stats|jack of all trades]]. This may seem nice on paper - they can back up the powers of their specialized compatriots whenever a [[Plot Tailored to the Party|certain role is critically needed]]. If the party is undermanned, they may need someone who can fill two roles at once. Unfortunately, because [[Crippling Overspecialization]] is often not crippling in these games, [[Min-Maxing]] is implicitly encouraged. Even worse, because [[Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards]] means different classes progress at different rates and the monsters are built to be a challenge to those characters of the basic four specialized types, the bard is often [[Can't Catch Up|struck with abilities so underleveled by comparison as to make them completely useless]]. The '''Spoony Bard''' fails to become even a "jack" at all trades, only managing to become a [[Master of None]].
* Alternately, bards can be built to specialize in status effect abilities. This ''can'' often be a wonderful way to add a new role to the game, it's in [[An Adventurer Is You]] as "Buffers" and "Mezzers" for a reason. In games where enemies can have powers that disable your own characters, having a character that can disable them first, or provide your teammates immunity to their tricks is a great boon. This often falls flat, however, because the status effects in many games are actually [[Useless Useful Spell]]s. This problem is often exacerbated by having fairly short fights in many games where the standard [[Mook]] enemies you mow through are only meant to turn the game into an endurance match, anyway. A spell or song that gives a +30% attack bonus is only a useful bonus if you are actually going to attack at least four times with that status effect on - if not, congratulations, you just wasted a turn. Even if boss fights are fairly long, if the bard specializes in nothing but debuff spells, the enemy may be [[Contractual Boss Immunity|immune]], and the buff spells may simply not be useful enough to justify using a bard instead of another character.
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On the other hand not everyone plays just for the thrill of the kill and some gamers want to avoid [[Complacent Gaming Syndrome]], so the ability to play with a "fun" mechanic or to try something new is sometimes worth the loss of effectiveness.
The term "Spoony Bard" itself, incidentally, comes from [[Final Fantasy IV]] - it was originally used as
Keep in mind that simply having a "Bard" class is not sufficient - they have to be ''spoony'' bards - that is, if bards are powerful and useful, and virtually all parties will want one, then they aren't really a spoony bard. If a bard is a generalist with magic, but is actually powerful at spellcasting, they may instead be [[The Red Mage]]. Also, the class doesn't have to have anything to do with music or bards to be a spoony bard, they simply have to try to perform the same function that most spoony bards do, which is messing with status effects in a game where [[Useless Useful Spell|status effects are useless]] or giving ability point bonuses or penalties that are too minor to make up for not simply making another fighter.
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== Tabletop Games ==
* Varies in the RPG ''[[
** First edition bards were an odd class that required several levels in 3 different classes before you could begin taking levels in bard, and even then the abilities were of questionable use at best.
** Interestingly enough, the second edition bard was just the [[Jack of All Stats]]. However, at a certain range of experience (party average around 3 to 12) this trope was [[Inverted Trope|inverted]], making bards curiously but non-obviously overpowered during this common range of play. Due to their being on the Thief experience table, they gained levels much faster than their wizard buddies, which allowed them to outperform wizards in their area of expertise for a good portion of the game due to their nukes being stronger—not to mention the Thief skills, the weapon proficiencies, the improved [[THAC 0]] table, and bardic music. Unfortunately, [[Zig-Zagging Trope|the straight use of this trope]] comes into play after the middle levels, as they hit a hard limit on their spells and wizard-classes's advancement scheme became less stingy.
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*** Third edition also had the beguiler class, which was very solidly this trope. It was essentially a bard with fewer skill points, lower attack bonuses, and ''only'' illusion and enchantment spells (as opposed to the bard's ''mostly'' illusion and enchantment selection). In comparison, the bard suddenly became a very viable option. They are more or less Final Fantasy IV's Edward as a class given that the only things they are good at is messing with enemies without directly hurting them, and hiding (either through invisibility, disguises or what-have-you).
*** The Factotum is divisive. Certain players love its "versatility" while others deride it for being too absurdly weak to actually contribute meaningfully no matter how "versatile" it professes to be. Likewise, the Chameleon prestige class.
*** The ''[[Pathfinder]]'' Bard avoids the fifth wheel problem by changes to the class and skill system making it good at the "skillmonkey" role by default, so it can occupy one of the main roles by default while being free to supplement the others as desire. Furthering helping is that Bardic music is less action intense, they now get a special ability to make Perform is as good as two skills instead of an otherwise wasted skill needed to use their abilities, and Bardic Knowledge is just a flat bonus to Knowledge checks instead of a weird Knowledge category of its own.
** Mostly averted in [https://web.archive.org/web/20130623113141/http://www.wizards.com/
*** In 4th Edition, the ''Cleric'' class [[Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards|of all people]] very easily led to this trope—especially before the lion's share of the [[Splatbooks]] came out. The class was (and is) the most eclectic in the game, with a lot of powers bordering on useless and/or counterproductive to the role. Fortunately, due to the lowered ability density of 4th Edition they still retain(ed) their [[Game Breaker]] status (as least [[Obvious Rule Patch|before the errata onslaught anyway]]) to a player who knows what they're doing. To one that doesn't, they're this trope.
* The alchemist in ''[[Pathfinder]]'' Second Edition is widely considered worthless for having terrible proficiencies across the board (even in alchemical bombs!), many class feats so specific in their use they're barely worth picking, and essentially being a consumable item dispenser that requires a specific party composition to even work and have an impact. Whatever an alchemist tries to specialize in, another class will do it way better without trying hard.
* The [[Returners Final Fantasy Roleplaying Game]] practically inverts this trope, especially in relation to the [[Trope Namer]]. They can endlessly throw around group affecting buffs and debuffs for free while still doing decent magical damage and they can use Hide to avoid predictable attacks making them very valuable against both tough mobs and bosses. Their main weakness, just to further separate them from [[Final Fantasy IV|Edward]], is a tendency to go last.
* [[Warhammer
* ''[[Magic: The Gathering]]'' gave us kobolds, a tribe as weak as physically possible without going straight to the graveyard, but cost nothing to play. They [[Magikarp Power|can be upgraded with other kobolds]], but these tend to come out on turn three or later, and the bonus isn't that much. And they're all in red, a color known for [[Leeroy Jenkins|winning fast, or not at all]].
== Video Games ==
* In the [[
** The sequel, Baldur's Gate II, introduced class kits that would allow bards to beef up aspects of the class. Picking a Blade, one of the DPS oriented kits, and combining it with some defensive mage spells potentially made characters which could outpace other fighters in terms of armor and damage output.
* The [[Trope Namer]] is Prince Edward Chris von Muir from ''[[Final Fantasy IV]]''. After the death of an otherwise plot-unimportant daughter, the party's sage Tellah rails against the unfortunate lute player with a stream of insults and threats including "You spoony bard!", a somewhat [[Bowdlerise]]d translation that [[Good Bad Translation|became popular and was retained when the game was re-translated for the GBA version]] (though in the DS game the retranslator NPC found in the dwarven kingdom's Developer's Room states, "The bard ''is'' spoony. [[Lampshade Hanging|We checked!]]", see page quote.). Edward himself is [[Joke Character|singularly useless]], employing a ''[[Musical Assassin|harp]]'' as a weapon and possessing the special ability of [[Musical Assassin|"singing" at enemies]]—a skill that's supposed to inflict [[Standard Status Effects|status ailments]] but [[Useless Useful Spell|which frequently does nothing at all]]. Edward's other special ability, unsurprisingly, is to run away and hide for a turn. In "hard-type", though, he's ''slightly'' more useful because he can also spread potions amongst the whole party. Slightly.
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** All this said, the famous line that named this trope doesn't appear in the original Japanese version. In its place is Tellah screaming [[What the Hell, Hero?|"You bastard! How dare you!"]]; one way or another, it's not nearly as memorable as the line that took its place.
*** Seems like poor Edward just can't seem to catch a break. While he's shown to be much less wimpier storywise and he still retains his Salve ability in After Years, his Bardsong is again randomized. At very least you can still choose whether you want to target your party or enemies with it, including being able to choose from a single/all party members/enemies and the negative statuses it can cause have potential to at least be useful this time around since the game follows the DS version trend of making [[Useless Useful Spell]]s less useless. While he's not the [[Glass Cannon]] he was in the GBA version anymore, his damage output isn't that far behind from the other characters, he's still decently fast, the aforementioned Salve can be even more useful than the White Mages' healing spells both because of the buyable X-Potions and Elixirs and an item that doubles the effectiveness of items in battle and his ability to hide can still be useful against enemies who telegraph their [[Total Party Kill]] attacks.
*** And seeing how Edward is still moping over his beloved Anna ''[[Final Fantasy IV: The After Years|17 years]]'' after her death, such that his kingdom is without an heir, he apparently still fits the literal definition as well. That said, he's ''much'' [[Took a Level
* The Dancer and Bard classes in ''[[Final Fantasy Tactics]]''. Dancers can use their weakest dance to enormously powerful effect in a properly tweaked party (three Dancers and two Mimes with strength boosted as high as possible). This is generally the second most powerful party possible in the game. Without this strategy, however, the Dancer class was mostly useless (which theoretically makes it a [[Magikarp Power|Magikarp]]).
** The Dancer being mostly useless is wrong. The rate of status effects from the various dances varies. The damage both to HP and MP effects were guaranteed, but it also had the ability damage enemy speed, attack and magic attack, as well as inflict statuses, or even reduce it's position in the turn roster to last. Spooniness varied as more powerful effects were attempted.
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* Accordion Thieves are probably the weakest class in [[Kingdom of Loathing]]. They have the least number of combat skills, meaning you mostly just hit them with [[Musical Assassin|music]], where a muscle class does a better job of basic weapon attacks. They mainly rely on buffing themselves with some marginally useful songs. As a plus, they can sneak into the League of Chef-Magi and the Brotherhood of the Smackdown, letting you shop at all 3 guild shops and, if you have permed the skill, let you use the Wok of Ages and Malus of Forethought.
* ''Dungeon Explorer'' has a bard class which is considered one of the most useless classes in the game.
* Many, many, many ''[[Pokémon]]'' fall into this category. Because any player can choose from all of them, many tend to get ignored completely. This tends to lead to [[Magikarp Power]] when you realize that damn near any Pokémon can be used effectively if you raise them right and throw on some
** In a more bardly example, Chatot basically exists for its one unique move,<ref>Which is a recorded message that has a chance to confuse which is higher the louder the message.</ref> is only catchable near the end of the games it debuted in, never evolves, and is generally useless.
** When the Double Battle mode was just introduced, several gimmicks for showing off its capabilities have been added. Most glaring example: Plusle and Minun. They have an ability that increases their special attack when they battle together... but their movepool sucks, their stats suck, no sane man would ever use them both in one team. In short, they are a bit less useless in double battles. A bit.
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* Brutally averted in the ''[[Wizardry]]'' series, as bards are decent characters with good lockpicking skills, but more importantly, the ability to play a wide variety of instruments that replicate various magical spells, up to and including the most powerful damage dealing spell in the game, all for no MP and a bit of energy.
* These types of characters have appeared in various ''[[Dragon Quest]]'' games.
** ''[[Dragon Quest III]]'' featured the Gadabout/Goof-off/Jester, who is either a clown (male) or a bunnygirl (female). An NPC will outright ''tell'' you that they're useless. Their stats are below average all across the board (except luck, [[Dump Stat|which does almost nothing]], only reducing the chance of chance of being inflicted with a stat effect by a ''fraction of a percent'' in a game where the primary stats [[Cap]] at 255), and they will often waste a turn doing something silly rather than attacking. On the other hand, [[Magikarp Power|Gadabouts are the only class that could become a Sage without the use of a special item]].
** ''[[Dragon Quest IV]]'' had Torneko. Once you got him in Chapter 5, he started goofing off just like the Gadabouts in III. He's something of a subversion, though, because while he's an underwhelming fighter, he isn't useless, and unlike the Gadabouts of III, his goofing off will almost always result in something useful. He's still more useful for what he can do outside your party rather than in, though.
** Gadabouts made a return in ''[[Dragon Quest VI]]'', and are given a few more abilities to make them more useful, but remain below average. There are also Dancers, who can use a variety of dances to do bad things to the enemy for no MP, up to and including instant death, although you don't get the good abilities until you've mastered the class. Both of these classes, however, must be mastered in order to get the much more useful Luminary class which does ''not'' follow this trope, as it gains very useful abilities, including Hustle Dance which can heal the entire party for ''no MP''!
** In addition to Gadabouts and Dancers, ''[[Dragon Quest VII]]'' includes an actual Minstrel/Bard class that, while not totally useless, deals mostly in status and curing songs, and is an underwhelming fighter. As before, you need to master this class (as well as the Gadabout and Dancer classes) in order to get the Luminary/TeenIdol class.
** Averted in ''[[Dragon Quest IX]]'', as the Minstrel plays more along the lines of the [[Jack of All Stats]] and is a decent fighter and spellcaster all around, which is a good thing, because you start out as one!
* The MMO ''[[Eden Eternal]]'' has an interesting take on Bards. They are a support class with powerful but short lived multi-target buffs and heals, as well as an [[Ao E]] damage-over-time debuff. Bards hunt by using their speed buff on themselves, splashing a group of enemies with the DoT and running until everything drops. Thematically this fits the stereotype of Bards as untalented hacks that no one wants to hear and who have to flee when their impromptu audience starts throwing produce but ''functionally'' the trope is fully averted, at least for most of the game.
* Averted in [[Heroes of Might and Magic]] 4, more notably, the Gathering Storm expansion pack. The bard has maximum positive morale and top speed, that allows her to act before everyone else in battle, and possesses the mass fervor spell that provides maximum positive morale to every allied hero and creature. This becomes vital towards the end of the game when all the player has at their disposal are five heroes, each of a different alignment, meaning that they have maximum negative morale by default - a critical disadvantage.
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== Web Comics ==
* Gildward, the bard from the webcomic ''[[Adventurers!]]'', is a parody of the original Spoony Bard from ''[[Final Fantasy IV]]''. His name is even a combination of "Edward" and "Gilbert", Edward's Japanese name. In [https://web.archive.org/web/20100614035008/http://www.adventurers-comic.com/d/0034.html this strip], he [[Defied Trope|almost]] gets called a Spoony Bard after demonstrating the utterly ineffectual powers of his magic harp.
* Elan from ''[[The Order of the Stick|Order of the Stick]]'' is as [[Cloudcuckoolander|spoony]] as they come. His bard songs are pretty much useless, his motivational speeches have a tendency to horribly backfire, and the only weapons he can use can be [[Breakable Weapons|Sundered by someone cursing too loud.]] However, his real talent is a result of his bardic training: he's as [[Genre Savvy]] as they come, and sees damn near everything coming. Whenever he works close enough with [[Genius Bruiser]] Roy, he becomes [[Dangerously Genre Savvy]]. And that training perfectly synergizes with the Dashing Swordsman [[Prestige Class]] he literally [[Took a Level
** Notable in that his [[Took a Level
* Julie, the protagonist of ''[[Our Little Adventure]]''. She's [[The Archer|good with a bow]] and she's the only group member with any sort of healing powers but seldom ever kicks ass and takes names. Julie's [[Reluctant Warrior|dislike of fighting]] might play into it, but she's got no problem with [[Magic Music|boosting her groupmates' killing skills]] using [[
* Gamzee of ''[[Homestuck]]'' subverts this. Despite being a [[The Stoner|Stoner]] [[Love Freak]] and having the title of Bard of... Something (exactly what it is, he forgot), he takes down the [[Final Boss|Black King]] of the Trolls' session with ''[[Beware the Silly Ones|frightening]]'' efficency and brutality. Subverted even harder when we find out that he's actually the Bard of {{spoiler|''[[Ax Crazy|Rage.]]''}}
** Turns out that all Sburb bards are a subversion of this. The Bard class is described as one that allows others to destroy their Aspect or one who invites destruction through their Aspect, as if by the will of the Aspect. (e.g. {{spoiler|Rage}}) Seems unintuitive from the name, but useful.
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