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Stargate SG-1/Recap/S1/E01 Children of the Gods: Difference between revisions
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Series:[[Stargate SG-1]]<br />Episode: Season 1, Episode 1 (two-parter)<br />Title:"Children of the Gods" Or "Watch the movie first, damnit"<br />Previous: [[Stargate]] (movie)<br />Next: The Enemy Within<br />Recapper: [[Main/Sikon|Sikon]]
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The Stargate opens. One of the soldiers, in a sudden moment of lucidity, rushes to the phone -- and drops its without calling after looking at the [[Stock Footage]] of the funnel. You call this the battle-hardy United States military?
What emerges from the other side? A superweapon? A technological marvel? [[Energy Beings]]? Well, there's a ball... followed by a bunch of people in low-budget suits of armor with snake masks. It seems more goofy than menacing. Their leader, denoted by his golden armor, grabs the [[
The other soldiers fire without even bothering to take cover, while the snake-people just stand there, not taking cover either, and some don't even bother to fire back. Of course, all the soldiers are killed, losers. With the exception of the now-[[Damsel in Distress]].
The door to the gate room opens, and reinforcements come in, followed by Captain Pic-- I mean, General Hammond. Same thing. The leader's eyes sport a CGI glow, and he lowers his mask and ''casually departs through the open Stargate''. Let me reiterate: He. Leaves. Through. The. Fricking. Stargate. What ever happened to them being one-way? Even if he
Following [[Bellisario's Maxim]] and ignoring the strange miracle that caused [[Villain Exit Stage Left]], we get to the opening. Since this is the pilot and any footage would be spoilerific, they just recycled the movie opening with new names overlaid -- among them Christopher Judge, playing the [[Token Black]] Second-in-Command, so it's spoilerific anyway. Wait until they reuse this opening for seasons 4-5, cheapos.
Anyway, it's time to move from [[Red Shirt
He arrives at Creek Mountain, which has since morphed into Cheyenne Mountain ([[A Wizard Did It]]). He meets General Hammond, and they engage in lengthy exposition about Abydos and the previous mission, which doesn't make sense anyway for those who didn't see the movie, and is redundant for those who did. Well, we do need some [[Padding]] to stretch this into a two-parter! Hammond quickly prepares to [[Shoot the Dog]], or, rather, bomb five thousand dogs just because he believes the [[Big Bad]] is Ra and he came from Abydos. He doesn't reconsider even after O'Neill spills the beans about falsifying his report, something that should have immediately got him court-martialed... but don't worry, he has [[Ultimate Job Security]].
Eventually, Hammond reconsiders, and from this point onwards, his resilience will continue to diminish until he's a complete doormat. Yes, he's a [[Bait and Switch Tyrant]]. O'Neill, being the loonie he is, grabs a box of tissues instead of agreeing to send a probe, and goes to the gate room to toss it through the Stargate while the [[Living Prop]] Walter is announcing
Chevron one encoded!
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Yes, the audience was particularly unlucky this time. Note recycled footage of the dialing computer from the movie. O'Neill casually throws the pack in, and they once again track it by radio, like in the movie... That's a textbook example of [[Hollywood Science]]. No, seriously: this is ''the'' example of [[Hollywood Science]] in its entry!
[[We Wait|They wait]]. Daniel (still off screen) sends them the box back, now empty, with the words "Thanks, send more". How he got the means to write it on Abydos is a mystery. A briefing is held, consisting of Hammond, O'Neill, Davis, and several extras you will never see again, who nevertheless make things confusing. Samantha Carter appears, delivers the reproductive organs speech, and is forcibly shoved into the party. O'Neill is [[The Hero]] (that's why he wears that badass leather jacket), who's Carter -- [[The Chick]]? Wrong! [[The Smart Guy]]. Even though she ''is'' [[Anvilicious
O'Neill, Carter, Kawalsky (for character introduction, refer to the movie... actually, wait, he wasn't properly introduced in the movie either) and some non-notable-yet-confusing red shirts travel through the Stargate to Abydos. Yes, the Abydos Stargate has been moved for some reason, and don't ask how it fit into that small doorway behind it. [[A Wizard Did It]]. Daniel appears, followed by his arbitrarily renamed wife, and Skaara -- of course, this touching scene makes absolutely no sense without the movie, but let's ignore that. By the way, who do you think Daniel is? [[The Smart Guy]]? Well, yes, sort of... but more of [[The Lancer]].
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As usual, the [[Big Damn Heroes]] arrive ''just'' too late. Daniel vows to bring back Sha're, although it's a bit hard to sympathize with him when we have seen her for, what, five minutes? (Never mind the movie.) But still, it's a better motivation than "The enemies razed my [[Doomed Hometown]], I seek revenge", like in many a [[Tabletop Games]].
Back at the Cheyenne Mountain base, the Stargate activates, and the team returns. "Close the iris!" orders Hammond. Note the subtlety with which this crucial and iconic new element is introduced.
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