Stock Superhero Day Jobs: Difference between revisions

Let's face it, your basic superhero simply can't do without a day job these days. They may be strong enough to punch an [[Eldritch Abomination]] [[Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?|in the face]], but they've still got to pay the bills. And unless they're [http://www.agonybooth.com/agonizer/Action_Comics_176_Muscles_for_Money.aspx the opportunistic sort], they're probably not going to be paid for their trouble. So, they have to do something else in order get by.

 

So here's a handy list of jobs your typical superhero should consider when planning a career in heroics (if you somehow [[Rich Idiot With No Day Job|don't need a job]]... lucky you):

 

 

This is a superhero's goldmine. As a reporter, your whereabouts don't have to be accounted for during work hours, you'll hear about crises as soon as word gets out, and you'll have an always applicable excuse to rush to the scene without people getting curious. Plus, you can get paid for writing stories of your adventures. It's like getting paid for doing what you would be doing anyway! Notable heroes in this field include:

* Two out of three [[VR Troopers]].

* [[Kamen Rider Ryuki|Shinji Kidou]], sort of.

* [[Happy Tree Friends|Splendid]], an [[Expy]]/parody of Superman.

* ''[[Tintin]]''. Involuntary a parody, actually: officially reporter, he never actually works (OK, not exactly a superhero, but the <s>French</s> Belgian [[Ur Example]] anyway).

 

 

 

* [[Batman|Bruce Wayne]]

* [[The Shadow|Lamont Cranston]] (in the radio adaptation and film)

* [[Great Lakes Avengers|Ashley Crawford]], to an extent

 

 

{{quote|'''Policeman:''' Nice job, Wally! ''That's'' how you catch a crook.

'''Forensic Scientist [[The Flash|Wally West]]:''' That's one way. }}

 

 

* Most of [[Legacy Character|the]] [[The Flash|Flashes]] have been affiliated with the police in some way or another, usually as some sort of analyst, but none as a full fledged officer.

* [[Martian Manhunter|John Jones]], sometimes.

* [[The Savage Dragon]].

* [[Heroes (TV series)|Matt Parkman]]

* [[City of Heroes|Blue Steel]], and Statesman in his early days.

* [[Thor]] spent some time as a paramedic.

* [[Top Ten]], all the main characters.

* Jim Powell from No Ordinary Family is a sketch artist for the police

* Possible [[Ur Example]]: [[The Spectre]]. Jim Corrigan and [[Gotham Central|Crispus Allen]] are both big-city detectives. In between was Hal Jordan, previously a member of a [[Green Lantern|galactic police force]].

 

 

Here's a job with most of the perks of being a Policeman with much less restriction. Here, you don't have to worry about hours, tricking partners, or being accused of negligence. Your hours are yours to dictate, meaning that, as soon as you get a case, you can pretty much investigate as your hero identity any time you want. However, you've lost the ability to be in the know; unless you work closely with the police (or are willing to break the law in the name of good by snooping at their files), the only info you'll get will come from people who walk into your office, meaning that you'll probably only get a few cases a month. Of course, these will probably be incredibly interesting, especially once you make a name for yourself as a detective who can solve even the strangest cases. You'll start off as a gumshoe, but you'll have such role models as:

* Zig-zagged with [[Alias (Comic Book)|Jessica Jones]], who became a private eye after a [[Dark and Troubled Past|''very'' failed attempt at super-heroing]], but finds herself all too frequently (for her liking) pulled into super-hero related crimes.

 

 

Here, we have a sort of mix between the reporter and the private eye, at least in practice. Here, you'll take the case of your client as your [[Secret Identity]], and find the evidence to clear him as your hero identity, putting away the ''real'' bad guys at the same time. On the opposite track, you can prosecute a known criminal as your citizen identity, and attack them as a same time as a hero, putting two times the pressure on the villain. It's the perfect way to connect your two identities and help people as both a hero and a regular person. Here, it's probably best to pretend to be an associate of yourself (unless you don't have a [[Secret Identity]]), so that people won't get suspicious that a superhero is always giving you information. Also, beware the vengeful crook: here, they'll know you put them away, even if they don't know your dual identity. Oh and as a lawyer you have to keep track of the copious amounts of time you're supposed to spend working, so be prepared to lie a lot or [[Triple Shifter|not get much sleep]] even by superhero standards. Other people in this field include:

* Kate Spencer ([[DC Comics|Manhunter]])

 

 

If you're anywhere from a [[Kid Hero]] to a college student, you're going to have to deal with being a student. This isn't the easiest thing: not only do you have to deal with [[Part-Time Hero|villains and superhero stuff]], but you have to [[Wake Up, Go to School, Save the World|go to class, pass tests, and keep up your grades.]] [[Triple Shifter|Expect one or the other to suffer,]] people to constantly wonder where you are, to have to deal with suspicious classmates, and to pine for a beautiful girl while your powers keep any serious relationship from ever happening. But it's not that bad... at least you don't have to worry about money! Unless, of course, your folks are broke... then you might need a second job... Anyway, there's a huge amount of these, but a few notables:

* [[Static Shock|Virgil Hawkins]]

* The [[Batman|Robins]], particularly Tim Drake.

* Terry McGinnis, of ''[[Batman Beyond]]''.

* [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Buffy Summers]]

** An odd variation as some of them are also ''teachers''.

*** Also a subversion, thanks to the X-Men living at a [[Super-Hero School]].

* [[Squirrel Girl|Doreen Green]]

* Umpteen bazillion [[Shonen]] heroes.

* [[Danny Phantom|Danny Fenton]]

* The [[Silver Age]] [[Superboy]], though Clark was also shown working part-time in the Kents' general store.

 

 

 

* [[The Incredible Hulk|Bruce Banner]], when he's employed, is employed as one of these.

* [[City of Heroes|Raymond Keyes]] (Positron)

* [[Morbius|Michael Morbius]] worked as a hemato(patho)logist during one of his stable periods.

 

 

 

* All the [[The Avengers (Comic Book)|Avengers]], particularly after [[Marvel Civil War]].

* [[The Fantastic Four]].

* [[The Middleman]]

* The [[X-Men (Comic Book)|X-Men]]

** He does pay Fenton a double salary (though how Fenton lists his earnings as Gizmoduck on his tax returns is never mentioned). This is actually a plot point in the episode where Gyro invents a glass that is harder than diamonds, which each building in Duckburg is soon encased in, rendering security systems and guards obsolete. Giz ends up spending most of the episode as a traffic cop, along with nearly every single security guard in town.

* ''[[Tiger and Bunny]]'' is built on the premise of "salaryman superheroes" who are effectively part law enforcement, part reality television stars.

 

 

So... maybe things didn't work out so well. It could be that your superhero career just didn't exactly pay the bills. It could be that your powers or superhero identity cause you to be unable to have a place of your own. Maybe you're a fugitive of some kind, and can't afford to have a long-term home. In any case, you're out on the street and have hit rock bottom. Well, chin up, at least you can still be a hero (as long as you don't need money to do it). As a man of the streets, you'll probably find out about disasters relatively soon, and, the best part, you'll have ''complete anonymity.'' There's nothing more dangerous than a someone with nothing to lose. You'll survive... somehow... maybe you can take some food from the crooks you put away! In any case, you'll be joining the ranks of such successful heroes as:

 

* [[Spider-Man (Comic Book)|Eddie Brock]] ([[Heel Face Revolving Door|when he's not a villain]])

* [[The Hulk|Bruce Banner]], most of the time.

* [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|Donatello, Raphael, Michaelangelo and Leonardo]]

* [[The Punisher|Frank Castle]]. He's got no permanent home, but plenty of safehouses and hidden weapons caches. And a boatload of cash from all the mobsters he kills.

* [[Hancock]]

* [[Runaways]]. Since they don't go to school and they are constantly uh, on the run.

* [[Spawn]]

* ''Paperinik'' is a way; since his alter ego is [[Donald Duck]], he retains Donald's habit of being unemployed, unemployable, or stuck in temporary low-paying menial jobs most of the time. In a fit of [[Fridge Brilliance]], while this is explained by Donald's general bad habits, bad luck and less than stellar personality in regular Disney comics, in these stories the fact that Donald has to run off all the time, spends all nights patrolling, and constantly lies about his whereabouts gets him fired again and again.

* [[The Adventures of Superhero Girl|Superhero Girl]]

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Superhero Tropes]]

[[Category:Stock Superhero Day Jobs]]