The Colbert Report/WMG: Difference between revisions

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* Another thing I've noticed about Time Lords is that they tend to [[Insufferable Genius|think very highly of themselves]], they [[No Indoor Voice|scream a lot]], and they [[Fruit of the Loon|like bananas]]... hmm...
* So this means the entire audience and the production staff are his companions! Wow...
* This is getting hard to ignore. An hour ago as of this posting, Stephen posted the following on his Twitter [[Twitter|(StephenAtHome)]]:
** {{smallcaps| '''Sometimes I wish I had two hearts, ''' }} {{smallcaps| so I could wear one on my sleeve to show people my feelings without dying.}}
* In [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/393044/july-25-2011/brian-cox this interview] he casually suggested that he might be from 500 years in the future.
* When Colbert is re-recieving the SuperPac powers from [[Jon Stewart]], it [http://mswyrr.tumblr.com/post/16810815243/coincidence-i-think-not-cheap-special-effects looks an awful lot like he's regenerating]. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
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== Stephen is psychic. == The DaColbert Code (five completely accurate Oscar picks using nothing more than random 'Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon' reasoning) is just the latest example. On [http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=111816&title=2000-Election-Coverage Election Night 2000], he predicted "unwinnable war" and a "downward spiral" for whoever was elected. And we all know how that turned out. This has worrying implications for his statements about the Rapture and the [[Zombie Apocalypse]].
* Although it seems he isn't entirely aware of his precognitive powers, because in a recent installment of The DaColbert Code he kept somehow predicting Barack Obama would become President even when deliberately using clues that would lead to McCain.
** The most recent The DaColbert Code for the 2009 Oscars was also completely accurate, giving more credence to Stephen's psychic powers.
** He was predicting people throwing shoes at President Bush [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/181508/january-31-2006/all-you-need-to-know---samuel-alito as early as January 2006].
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* "Don't worry, in movies you can always [[Outrun the Fireball|outrun the fireball.]]"
* "''2012''. The Mayans warned us. Assuming, they warned us one day that computer graphics would strip movies of any plot or characterization and turn them into [[Tropes Are Not Good|mindless]] orgies of [[It's Not Porn, It's an Index|Destruction Porn]]."
* One of his favorite ways of messing with us may be reading these theories about him and [[SureAscended Why NotFanon|"confirming" them on his show]]. If this is the case, then we're in for a hell of a good time.
 
== Stephen is being mind-controlled by Marik from [[Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series]]. ==
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== Stephen is a wizard. ==
This is how he is able to store all that stuff (up to and including '''two Starbucks''') under his desk, and why he can communicate with ghosts. It's also why he doesn't doubt in the supernatural. Abraham Lincoln's skull is a magical artifact he uses in his rituals.
* Better version, he's ''the'' wizard. [[A Wizard Did It|The one who did it]]. That's right, he's [[8-Bit Theater (Webcomic)|Sarda]].
* [http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/265496/march-04-2010/health-care-magic Confirmed!]
{{quote|"I also do children's parties."}}
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== Stephen is already on a team for the 2010 Winter Olympics ==
It's just a secret and wont be revealed until he tries out for the sport he's actually competing in.
* Called it? Maybe? We don't actually know when he 'joined the speed skating team', but...
 
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Conceived in the TARDIS, Colbert is the child of a Timelord and America, but because he was conceived in the TARDIS, and thusly near a time vortex, he has the traits of a timelord while still being the child of a nation. Also, because he ''is'' the child of a nation, he has an innate need to ''be'' a nation- hence the title of his website as Colbert'''nation'''.
 
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