The High Crusade: Difference between revisions

It's England in 1345, and Sir Roger de Tourneville has volunteered to help King Edward III in his war against the French. Having assembled a band of knights and foot soldiers, Sir Roger prepares to head off to war. But on the eve of their departure, an alien spacecraft -- a scoutship from the Wersgorix Empire -- lands outside the town. Mistaking the ship for a French strategem, Sir Roger and his force storm it, winning the encounter by dint of cunning, superior numbers, and having no EMP-susceptible equipment or depletable bullets/explosives/laser charges -- [[Rock Beats Laser|but plenty of reusable arrows, swords, sheer brute strength and a sense of righteous Christian indignation.]] (Not to mention some unexpected tactics.)

Arriving at the sparsely-populated planet, Sir Roger does the only thing he can think of to keep the people under his rule and command safe -- attack, on both the military and political fronts. Because the invaders to our world have been dominant for so long over such a wide area, nobody up in the stars has any damn idea what politics are any more. Sir Roger, a man who's managed to survive medieval European politics quite well for some time, knows ''exactly'' what politics are, and manages to convince every single alien he meets, through bravado, underhandedness, trickery, and good old-fashioned lying, to assail their opponents. The only downside to their situation is, unfortunately, the humans -- not being astrogators, among other reasons -- have no idea where Earth is any more.

* [[Alien Invasion]]

* [[Battle Couple]]: Sir Roger and Lady Catherine

* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: The Wersgor see nothing wrong with imperialism and genocide, but are appalled at the medievals' use of [[Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique]].

{{quote|"Our lords have extensive foreign possessions, such as Ulster, Leinster, Normandy -- but I'll not weary you with a catalogue of planets." I alone noticed he had not actually said those counties and duchies ''were'' planets.}}

** Brother Parvus does it rather nicely, too, backing up Sir Roger's claim that Earthpeople have been exploring space for quite some time by mentioning that our first such endeavor was "about thirty-five hundred years [ago], at a place called Babel." Well, yes, a tower intended to reach into Heaven ''could'' be considered space exploration....

** Also played with, in that the Wersgor republic is also unfavourably contrasted with the ''Jain'' Republic (one of the lesser starfaring powers Sir Roger convinces to join his crusade against the Wersgor), with the Jain republic described as a true republic, "not a sham one such as the Wersgor had", and the descriptions of the Wersgor explicitly describing their state as all-powerful and the citizens as reflexively subservient to it and to their superiors.

* [[Humanity Is Superior]]

* [[Knight in Shining Armor]] (played with)

* [[Medieval Morons]] (Subverted - and how!)

* [[Outgrown Such Silly Superstitions]] (the Wersgor. The humans on the other hand are very pious. While there is some tongue in cheek humour about Medieval practices and obsessions, their faith is definitely not portrayed as a ''bad'' thing, and the most humane character in the book by far is the narrator - who is a pious monk.)

* [[Ramming Always Works]] (The English crash land their first captured warship, the Crusade, ''on'' an energy shielded Wersgor battle fortress, crushing it. Then pissed-off cavalry trample down the survivors.)

* [[Rock Beats Laser]] (Not to mention rock helps laser. A trebuchet firing nuclear shells? Undetectable by space age sensors? Yes please.)

** Wait....why isn't the trebuchet and anyone working it nuked themselves? Also a trebuchet would be in visible range and nuclear shells launched by a trebuchet but not something more...advanced?