The Onion: Difference between revisions
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Rescuing 10 sources and tagging 0 as dead. #IABot (v2.0beta9) |
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* [[Americans Hate Soccer]] / [[Acceptable Hobby Targets]]: [[In-Universe]].
** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xLn-X8YJRg Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay]".
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20130621022207/http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/ In the Onion Sports Network's main page], if you look at the list of sports categories, "[[Soccer]]" is lumped in the same category as "Women's Sports".
** "[http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/video/suffering-cleveland-bans-all-professional-sports,19701/ Suffering Cleveland Bans All Professional Sports]".
* [[Anachronism Stew]] / [[Timey-Wimey Ball]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/historical-archives-civil-war-preenactors-have-sta,6356/ Historical Archives: Civil War Pre-Enactors Have Stage'd Battle Of Bull Run]".
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* [[Canon Discontinuity]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/mans-life-riddled-with-continuity-errors,20492/ Man's Life Riddled With Continuity Errors]".
* [[Canon Welding]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/disney-reveals-that-every-disney-movie-takes-place,28141/ Disney Reveals That Every Disney Movie Takes Place In Single, Unified Universe]".
* [[Captain Space, Defender of Earth!]]: Crash Comet, Space Commander from the Year 2000, the recurring enemy of [[Evil Overlord]] columnist [https://web.archive.org/web/20120131154307/http://www.theonion.com/personalities/gorzo-the-mighty,1026/ Gorzo the Mighty].
* [[Captain Obvious Aesop]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/third-amendment-rights-group-celebrates-another-su,2296/ Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year]".
* [[Casanova]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news/7_million_people_direct?utm_source=c-section 7 Million People Direct Descendants Of Single Smooth-Talking Ancestor]".
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* [[Children Are a Waste]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/department-of-education-study-finds-teaching-these,18461/ Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It]".
* [[China Takes Over the World]]:
** "[https://web.archive.org/web/20100218222333/http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/well_ive_sold_the_paper_to Well, I've Sold The Paper To The Chinese]".
** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-china-to-overtake-us-as-worlds-biggest-assh,17277/ Report: China To Overtake U.S. As World's Biggest Asshole By 2020]".
** From the week which featured the header article, "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/china-strong,2756/ China Strong]".
* [[Church of Happyology]]: "[https://web.archive.org/web/20090115091433/http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31006 Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology]".
* [[Circles of Hell]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898 Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly-Growing Hell]".
* [[Clap Your Hands If You Believe]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_warns_he_may_cease_to Obama Warns He May Cease To Exist Unless America Believes In Him]".
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* [[Cluster F-Bomb]]: Oy.
** "[http://zorak.best.vwh.net/toc/fuckingmoon.html Holy Shit: Man Walks On Fucking Moon]".
** "[https://web.archive.org/web/20100314110501/http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work]".
** "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/supreme-court-upholds-freedom-of-speech-in-obsceni,17372/ Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling]".
** The whole week of articles directly after [[The War on Terror|9/11]] was called "The Holy Fucking Shit Edition".
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* [[The Grim Reaper]]: Frequently appears in the cartoons.
* [[Hand Puppet]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30192 Local Puppet Ignores Repeated Audience Dragon Warnings]".
* [[Harmful to Minors]]: "[https://web.archive.org/web/20100223085304/http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30883 U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially-Exposed Breast On TV]".
* [[Heavy Metal Umlaut]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/united-states-toughens-image-with-umlauts,4230/ Ünited Stätes Toughens Image with Umlauts]".
* [[Heroes Want Redheads]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33324 I'm Certain That Sex With A Redhead Will Be More Fulfilling Than Other Sex]".
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* [[Lowest Common Denominator]]: [[In-Universe]]-- "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmCjJ0VBjjU Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall]".
* [[Mad Scientist]]:http://www.theonion.com/articles/rat-fancy-magazine-fails-to-catch-on,4259/
** "[https://web.archive.org/web/20100223091257/http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38877 Corpse-Reanimation Technology Still 10 Years Off, Say MIT Mad Scientists]".
** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29346 Mad Scientist's Plot Thwarted by Budget Cuts]".
* [[The Magazine Rule]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/star-wars-gamer-magazine-boldly-claims-to-be-the-l,3698/ Star Wars Gamer Magazine Boldly Claims To Be The Leading Magazine For Star Wars Gamers]".
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* [[Parenting the Husband]]: [http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-girlfriend-boyfriend-achieve-perfect-motherso,2714/ Area Girlfriend, Boyfriend Achieve Perfect Mother-Son Relationship].
* [[Periphery Demographic]]: [[In-Universe]].
** "[https://web.archive.org/web/20070711085209/http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28009 Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In 'Harry Potter' Craze]".
** "[http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/man_not_belonging_to_movies?utm_source=a-section Man Not Belonging To Movie's Target Demographic Escorted From Theater By Hollywood Officials]".
** "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV32uLQGFR8 Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series]".
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** All the [[George W. Bush]] injury articles (see [[Butt Monkey]] and [[Take That]]) end with "Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital."
* [[Sampling]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-rappers-down-to-last-two-samples,793/ Nation's Rappers Down to Last Two Samples]".
* [[Samus Is a Girl]]: "[https://web.archive.org/web/20100219135230/http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31739 Hotshot Test Pilot Removes Helmet, Reveals Female Status]".
* [[Sapient Cetaceans]]: Parodied this with the article "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315 Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: 'Oh, Shit,' Says Humanity]". The article is then filled with stories of the Dolphins' incredibly rapid technology development, and marine biologists committing suicide or preparing to serve the Dolphin overlords.
* [[Sarcasm Failure]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/articles/muscleman-put-in-charge-of-worlds-fifthlargest-eco,877/ Muscleman Put In Charge Of World's Fifth-Largest Economy]", filled with legit facts and news due to being so unbelievable at the time.
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** Also present in [http://www.theonion.com/personalities/jean-teasdale,1021/ Jean Teasdale's column] (with lines like "Osama bin Laden should take a chocolate pill!") and some of the cartoons (when they're not full of [[Patriotic Fervor]] and [[You Can Panic Now]]).
* [[So What Do We Do Now?]]: [http://www.theonion.com/articles/voice-inside-cheering-libyan-rebels-head-oh-fuck-n,21204/ Voice Inside Cheering Libyan Rebel's Head: 'Oh, Fuck, Now What?']".
* [[Spoiler]]: [[In-Universe]], "[https://web.archive.org/web/20080110080422/http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/final_harry_potter_book Final Harry Potter Book Blasted For Containing Spoilers]".
* [[Stalking Is Love]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29546 Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested]".
* [[Start of Darkness]]: "[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMzyI6cIbek Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide to Create Role]".
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