The Onion: Difference between revisions

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* [[Get a Load of That Square]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38778 Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something]".

* [[The Ghost]]: Clifford Banes, the [[Informed Ability|supposed host]] of ''In The Know''. The various reasons given are Troperiffic:

{{quote|"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who has been accidentally [[Unperson|erased]]."~~<br~~ />

{{quote|"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who has been accidentally [[Unperson|erased]]."

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is battling his nemesis to the death on top of a [[Evil Tower of Ominousness|clock tower]]."~~<br~~ />

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is battling his nemesis to the death on top of a [[Evil Tower of Ominousness|clock tower]]."

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is regaling the interns with [[The Storyteller|tales of his days at sea]]."~~<br~~ />

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who is regaling the interns with [[The Storyteller|tales of his days at sea]]."

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who [[Jumped Off the Slippery Slope|messed with the wrong people and got involved in some]] [[Sophisticated As Hell|serious shit]]."~~<br~~ />

"I'm sitting in for Clifford Banes, who [[Jumped Off the Slippery Slope|messed with the wrong people and got involved in some]] [[Sophisticated As Hell|serious shit]]."

"[[Blatant Lies|I'm Clifford Banes]], wearing a perfect latex Juliana McKannis mask." }}

* [[Giant Enemy Crab]]: "[http://www.theonion.com/content/video/experts_agree_giant_razor_clawed?utm_source=a-section Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat]".