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Line 19: {{noreallife\|we'd be here all day.}} {{examples}} ==Serious Examples == Line 41 ⟶ 42: === [[Fan Works]] === * There's a ''[[Star Trek (film)\|Star Trek XI]]'' fic [http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/8314.html?thread=23814266#t23814266 here,] written for that fandom's [[Kink Meme]] where for family reasons Chekov had never been given the Talk, and the bridge team decides to rectify this. Unfortunately, rather than selecting one person to do this, almost all of them decide to chime in on it independently. Spock uses diagrams. Bones uses the [[Scare'Em Straight]] method. ** There was a hilarious one in which ~~[[S.P.O.C.K]]~~Spock is mailed a pamphlet called "[[Mate or Die\|Pon Farr]] and you." * A particularly funny ''[[Naruto]]'' fanfic had Naruto going around and asking all the adults in the village what sex is and keeping a journal of the info he gets as they all either brush him off or give him lewd advice. "NEVER GO INTO ANKO'S HOUSE! She has a bunch of weird equipment and she's hard to get away from when she gets her clothes off." ''[~~http~~https://web.archive.org/web/20200328061638/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3313914/1/ Fetish? What's A Fetish?]'', a hilarious story about Naruto and Sasuke (Not like that, pervs) finding out all about sex and fetishes. And I do mean all, [[~~Sqee~~Squee]] and [[Squick]] included. It's funny, but can also be serious when the author feels the need. ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3064884/1/The_Mating_Frenzy The Mating Frenzy]'' has Tsunade order Kakashi, Asuma, Gai and Kurenai to "go wherever and explain to [their respective teams] the facts of life". [[Hilarity Ensues]]: * Kakashi's way: Using Icha Icha Paradise. Line 49 ⟶ 50: * Asuma's way: "Here's a porno video. There's the TV. I'll be back in an hour¦" *** Kurenai's way: Kiba using Akamaru's "special friend" to [[Brain Bleach\|"demonstrate"]]. * There's a very funny fan fic called ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20120413235824/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2759/1/The_Talk The Talk]''. Batman, Nightwing, and Superman joined together to give the talk to Robin (Tim). They gave a special type of superhero talk that involves body armor. * A fanfic for ''[[Tales of Symphonia]]'' where the group is in Tethe'alla. [[The Messiah\|Colette]] asks the OC about something that [[Handsome Lech\|Zelos]] did that involved a girl. Said OC completely freaks out and tells Colette to ask Regal, who in turn gets flustered and doesn't say anything. The next day Colette says that she found the Wonder Chef, who, when asked about sex, proceeded to tell it all to Colette. In detail. Including information about fetishes and erectile dysfunction. She blushes in the presence of Zelos and can't even hear the word 'wood' without freaking out. * ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20120414155627/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5772667/1/Nuts_and_Bolts Nuts And Bolts]'' featured [[Iron Man\|Tony Stark]] giving the talk to his son. He was reluctant at first since he really didn't see the reason why. {{quote\|Pepper: Now, are you going to talk to him? Tony: Nope. Pepper: To-ny! Why not? How did you find out about all this? Tony: Experimentation, and [[Casanova\|look how I turned out!]] }} * Variations on Murdoc giving Noodle The Talk are almost a [[Running Gag]] in [[Gorillaz]] fandom. [http://chelonianmobile.deviantart.com/favourites/#/dotfwp An amusing example]{{dead link}} (worksafe fanart). * A few ''[[Tangled]]'' fanfics have sprung up which involve [[The Ingenue\|Rapunzel]] learning the finer points of romance and sex, including [https://web.archive.org/web/20130605110307/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6540988/1/What_You_Dont_Know What You Don't Know]. * ''[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3464211/1/Litany Litany]'' has two examples. First, there is Batman calling Robin once he hears he dates Star. At the end of the chapter (we never actually hear the dialogue): {{quote\|Robin buried his face in his hands, embarrassed beyond belief. Line 65 ⟶ 66: * In ''[[Kitsune on Campus]]'', {{spoiler\|Naruto}} is forced to give one to class 3-A as a punishment for {{spoiler\|painting entire campus orange}}. He is less than pleased. * The ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]]'' fanfic [http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1983/The-Birds-and-the-Bees The Birds and the Bees] has the Cutie Mark Crusaders getting into hilarious shenanigans as they try to figure out where foals come from, and repeatedly get the wrong idea from asking the Mane Six. * For ''[[Axis Powers Hetalia]]'', Sealand gets an incredibly awkward and incomplete version of the talk from Sweden and Finland after accidentally walking in on them in [https://web.archive.org/web/20120422085947/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7870821/1/Why_is_Mama_Moaning 'Why Is Mama Moaning?']. * When Summer Rose misinterprets a comment by a fifteen-year-old Emerald Ashari (formerly Emerald Sustrai) in the ''[[RWBY]]'' [[Peggy Sue]] fic ''[[Relic of the Future]]'' by "Coeur Al'Aran", she takes it upon herself to give her The Talk that her father (the [[Time Travel]]led Jaune Arc, now Jaune Ashari) has ''obviously'' not given her. In the next scene a traumatized Summer acknowledges that Emerald knows more about the ''mechanics'' of sex than any fifteen-year-old ought to, and having learned it all as a street kid in the context of rape, abuse and abandonment has left her ignorant of the very existence of anything to do with love and other romantic feelings. ==== ''[[Harry Potter]]'' Fan Works ==== * An old (and much [[Better Than It Sounds]]) ''[[Harry Potter]]'' [[Fan Fiction]] entitled ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20040831143621/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/288735/1/ Plugs and Outlets]'' featured Arthur Weasley explaining the facts of life to Ron in terms of the titular [[Muggle]] technology. The mostly hilarious sequel ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20041020042548/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/340495/1/ Quills and Ink Bottles]'' is the same principle applied to Molly Weasley telling Ginny about the facts of life, and the trilogy is completed with ''[~~http~~https://web.archive.org/web/20200328061638/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/358637/1/ Quidditch Anyone?]'' in which Sirius Black tells Harry that there are several kinds of girls—represented by the different Quidditch balls. There is a [[Harry Potter]] [~~http~~https://web.archive.org/web/20200328061638/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2390459/19/ FanFiction] in which Ginny, caught by her parents in a somewhat suggestive position, is then given The Talk by Arthur, using the metaphor of Plugs and Sockets, while short circuits represent pregnancy and childbirth. There are several good HP ones of Snape having to teach Sex Ed to Hogwarts students. [https://web.archive.org/web/20110809100223/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1205523/1/ Example]. ** There's one where Ron and Hermione are caught snogging by Ron's entire family, and all of the older Weasley men attempt to have The Talk with Ron, most hilariously the twins, who are armed with Muggle porn. * Quite possibly the best ''[[Harry Potter]]'' Talk is from ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20131013162626/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5435295/1/The_Bonds_of_Blood The Bonds of Blood]''. {{quote\|'''Sirius:''' Know what sex is? '''Harry:''' Er, mostly. Line 92 ⟶ 94: "Oh God." Sirius peeks out from behind the curtain. "You win." }} * There's [http://musings-of-apathy.fanficauthors.net/Harry_Potter_and_the_Cracked_Reservoir/index/ a fic] where each Weasley brother plays a prank on Harry as initiation into the family (he started dating Ginny). One of the pranks was convincing McGonagall to give Harry The Talk - ''with animated diagrams''. Afterwards, Harry is coming to his dorms... and meets Ginny who has the same look he does - her mother talked to her, too. * There's a Harry/Luna fanfic ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20120418012809/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1437039/6/Harry_Potter_and_the_Awkward_Date Harry Potter and the Awkward Date]'' where as soon as everyone hears that Harry asked Luna to go see a movie, they each try to give Harry what he calls ''The Lecture''. Almost none of them help. * There's a hilarious one quite simply called ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20120421074640/http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5933215/1/The_Talk The Talk]'' where because of his orphan status, various parental figures in Harry's life decide to give him The Talk. Independently. He ends up going through it ''six times.'' === [[Film]] === Line 110 ⟶ 112: === [[Literature]] === * [[Terry Pratchett]]'s ''[[Discworld]]'' novels have played with this. There were two attempts by the older witches in the Lancre Coven to explain it to Magrat (who's almost a [[Chaste Hero]]ine). In ''[[~~Discworld/Wyrd Sisters\|~~Wyrd Sisters]]'', Granny Weatherwax quickly decides (as she did with Esk in ''[[~~Discworld/Equal Rites\|~~Equal Rites]]'') that she's not up to the task, being a [[Celibate Hero]]ine herself. In ''[[~~Discworld/Lords and Ladies\|~~Lords and Ladies]]'', the decidedly non-celibate Nanny Ogg makes a more spirited attempt which is completely misunderstood ("After the wedding, is what I'm hinting about." "Oh, ''that''. No, most of that's being done by a caterer."), although it later transpires that Magrat was deliberately winding her up (and instead has sent away for a book on the subject, which turns out to be on ''martial arts,'' not marital arts). Verrence instead gets his information from [[Casanova\|Casanunda]] and [[Bawdy Song\|an interesting song sung by Nanny Ogg]]. They eventually also manage to get a proper book on marital arts; Nanny finds it one day while snooping around in the Royal bedroom. She spends a few productive minutes drawing mustaches on the pictures, which leads to Verence asking where he could buy some false mustaches. They apparently figure it out eventually, as ''[[~~Discworld/Carpe Jugulum\|~~Carpe Jugulum]]'' starts with the birth of their daughter. In ''[[~~Discworld/The Last Continent\|~~The Last Continent]]'', a group of wizards have to try to explain to the God of Evolution what sex is. It leads to a very, very amusing conversation, and gets even more awkward for the wizards when the normally straitlaced housekeeper, Mrs. Whitlow, volunteers to explain "the facts of life" to the God (and prompts the wizards to wonder, out of morbid curiouity, what Mr. Whitlow's life was like). At another point in the book, when the wizards are facing down the notion that they are the only men and Mrs. Whitlow the only woman who are likely to come along for some time (like thousands of years), they speculate that there must have been a Mr. Whitlow at some point, because she's, well, ''Mrs.'' Whitlow. A different book references a "Hepzibah Whitlow" in passing, who may be related, and, if the actual wizard rules on marriage (frowned upon, but never actually forbidden, as such) are anything to go by, may even be the man we're looking for. Subverted in ''[[~~Discworld/Mort\|~~Mort]]'' when the ancient Arch-Wizard Albert tells the titular character that ".. there's some things a lad ought to be tole before he's sixteen." Mort is about to explain that he ''already'' knows about The Talk, but then Albert clarifies he wasn't talking about that. * [[Call Back]] in ''[[~~Discworld/~~Soul Music (novel)\|Soul Music]]'', when Albert has a very similar conversation with Mort's daughter, Susan. Whenever the subject comes up, Tiffany Aching comments that she knows about this already because of her numerous older sisters. She also witnessed her brother's birth, since nobody bothered to send her away. * Don't forget she was born on a sheep farm. She knows about the... red bags of chalk tied to the rams. In ''[[~~Discworld/I Shall Wear Midnight\|~~I Shall Wear Midnight]]'', Tiffany finds herself having to ''give'' the talk to Letitia, who doesn't believe her. ** Averted in the case of Carrot Ironfounderson, whose adoptive dwarf parents had intended to give him The Talk at ''dwarf'' adolescence, i.e. age 50. Carrot's girlfriend Angua opts for demonstration over explanation. * The parody "To The Batpole!" in the anthology ''Batman Unauthorized'' imagines how this conversation might have gone between a teenaged [[Batman\|Bruce Wayne]] and Alfred. Line 265 ⟶ 267: * ''Dangerously Chloe'' has [https://pixietrixcomix.com/dangerously-chloe/volume-1-page-185 Chapter 9] named "A frank discussion of you-know-what". Where two young succubi are the only ones in any position to "set straight about the facts of life" Abby... there are only three problems: # "Dibs!" It's not like Chloe didn't know to whom she gives ideas, two chapter after [https://pixietrixcomix.com/dangerously-chloe/volume-1-page-145 chloroforming] Pandora just to let Teddy date a girl without crazy pranks dropped on them. # It "helps" that both are more than a bit fuzzy on what are differences for humans - Pandora is devious enough to sneak into Heaven repeatedly, and she had actual experience (though not with humans). But her knowledge of humanity seems to come mainly from [[Aliens Steal Cable\|watching]] erotic comedies and [[Porn ~~With~~with Plot]], while Chloe was brought up in "the Overworld", but [[All Ghouls School\|didn't interact with baseline humans much]] and was busy [[Teen Drama\|worrying about other problems]] at the time. # Once the succubi issues are mentioned, the discussion derails toward more immediate concerns. Such as keeping Teddy un-[[Destructo-Nookie\|shredded]]. ''[[Bear Nuts]]'' had it defied... sort of. [http://www.bearnutscomic.com/2014/11/17/448-bear-nuts/ After] Lech got the cast [[The Internet Is for Porn\|acquainted with the internet a little too closely]]: Line 272 ⟶ 274: '''Prozac''': (closes the notebook) Go watch some nature shows. '''Prozac''': Or go to the petting zoo. The rabbits are always busy. (leaves) }} * Subverted (naturally) in ''[[SomethingPositive]]'', where the worldly Mr. Sanderson winds up giving The Talk to Davan's not-quite-son Rory. Rory, who remembers his mother saying Davan might have been his actual father, is only too quick to [~~http~~https://~~www~~web.archive.org/web/20130511014235/http://somethingpositive.net/sp08052011.shtml put two and two together]. {{quote\|'''Rory''': ''Davan put his penis in my mommy?!'''}} [[Subverted]] in ''[[Tales From the Pit]]''. {{quote\|'''Mark:''' You're eight, Adam. That means it's time for me to tell you about the birds and the bees. [[Comically Missing the Point\|Birds are a good choice for small white and blue fliers. Bees, on the other hand, are used to falsely justify direct damage in green.]] Line 325 ⟶ 327: Peter: "Oh god, stop talking!" }} ** Of course, Aunt May knows full well that Peter and Uncle Ben had The Talk. She just wanted Peter to know not to try anything in the house because it would be just as awkward, if not more so. === [[Fan Works]] === * The Talk is implied to take place offscreen during the ''[[Sailor Moon]]'' fic ''[[Isekai by Moonlight]]'', with Naru in the adult's role and Usagi in the child's. {{quote\|"Naru-chan," Bunny-chan asked, "what are they talking about?" "Oh, Usagi... I'll tell you later, but not in front of Chibiusa."}} === [[Film]] === Line 393 ⟶ 400: * In the webcomic ''[[Nip and Tuck]]'', Nip at the very least had a pretty clear idea of what sex was for from an extremely young age-after Tuck and Thelma walk in on Nip & Tuck's parents getting over "Empty Nest Syndrome", the parents reminisce about when the boys were five - cut to five-year-old Nip in a onesie, asking, "Are Tuck and me gonna have a widdle bwuvver?" "No, sweetie..." "Then what was all that for?!" His knowledge is possibly justified given that he's a farm kid and has probably seen the equivalent behaviour in [[Furry Confusion\|the non-anthro animals]]. * Webcomic ''[[Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]]'' [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=311 is] [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1251#comic a] ''[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1502#comic really]'' [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1195#comic huge] [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=488#comic fan] [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=943#comic of] [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1142#comic this] [http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1240#comic trope.] * ''[[Something*Positive]]'': [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109071843/http://somethingpositive.net/sp04112005.shtml Here] we see the aftermath of Davan's father giving him the Talk. === [[Western Animation]] === Line 402 ⟶ 409: {{reflist}} [[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]▼ [[Category:Sex Tropes]] [[Category:Comedy Tropes]] [[Category:No Real Life Examples, Please]] {{DEFAULTSORT:Talk, The}} ▲[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]