View source for The Three-Decker

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'''''The Three-Decker''''' is a poem by [[Rudyard Kipling]] exulting in the [[Escapist]] and [[Troperiffic]] nature of the Victorian three-volume novel.

Please don't edit Mr. Kipling's [[Sincerity Mode|deathless poetry]], except to format and [[Blue Shifting|blue-shift]] it. Please ''do'' blue-shift as much as possible.

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=== The Three-Decker ===
1894<br />"The three-volume novel is extinct."

Full thirty foot she towered from waterline to rail.<br />It took a watch to steer her, and a week to shorten sail;<br />But, spite all modern notions, I've found her first and best --<br />[[Escapism|The only certain packet for the Islands of the Blest.]]

Fair held the breeze behind us -- 'twas warm with lovers' prayers,<br />We'd [[MacGuffin|stolen wills]] for ballast and a crew of missing heirs.<br />[[Mysterious Past|They shipped as Able Bastards]] [[Suddenly-Suitable Suitor|till]] [[Secret Legacy|the Wicked Nurse confessed,]]<br />And they worked the old three-decker to the Islands of the Blest.

By ways no gaze could follow, a course unspoiled of Cook,<br />Per Fancy, fleetest in man, our titled berths we took<br />With maids of [[Beauty Equals Goodness|matchless beauty]] and [[Moses in The Bulrushes|parentage unguessed]],<br />And [[Good Shepherd|a Church of England parson]] for the Islands of the Blest.

We asked no social questions -- we pumped no hidden shame --<br />[[Out Giving Birth Back in Two Minutes|We never talked obstetrics when the Little Stranger came:]]<br />We left the Lord in Heaven, we left the fiends in Hell.<br />We weren't exactly Yussufs, but -- Zuleika didn't tell.

[[Wish Fulfillment|No moral doubts assailed us, so when the port we neared]],<br />[[Laser-Guided Karma|The villain had his flogging at the gangway]], and [[Happy Ending|we cheered]].<br />'Twas fiddle in the foc's'le -- 'twas garlands on the mast,<br />For [[They Do|every one was married]], and I went at shore at last.

I left 'em all in [[First Kiss|couples a-kissing]] on the decks.<br />I left [[Happily Married|the lovers loving]] and [[Parental Marriage Veto|parents signing cheques]].<br />In endless English comfort, by [[Arcadia|county-folk]] caressed,<br />I left the old three-decker at the Islands of the Blest! . . .

That route is barred to steamers: you'll never lift again<br />[[Ghibli Hills|Our purple-painted headlands]] or [[Big Fancy Castle|the lordly keeps of Spain]].<br />They're just beyond your skyline, howe'er so far you cruise,<br />In a ram-you-damn-you liner with a brace of bucking screws.

Swing round your aching searchlight -- 'twill show no haven's peace.<br />[[True Art Is Angsty|Ay, blow your shrieking sirens at the deaf, grey-bearded seas!]]<br />[[Expectation Lowerer|Boom out the dripping oil-bags to skin the deep's unrest --]]<br />And you aren't one knot the nearer to the Islands of the Blest.

[[Author Filibuster|But when you're threshing, crippled, with broken bridge and rail,]]<br />[[Filibuster Freefall|At a drogue of dead convictions to hold you head to gale,]]<br />Calm as the Flying Dutchman, from truck to taffrail dressed,<br />You'll see the old three-decker for the Islands of the Blest.

You'll see her tiering canvas in sheeted silver spread;<br />You'll hear the long-drawn thunder 'neath her leaping figure-head;<br />While far, so far above you, her tall poop-lanterns shine<br />Unvexed by wind or weather like the candles round a shrine!

Hull down -- hull down and under -- she dwindles to a speck,<br />[[Dances and Balls|With noise of pleasant music and dancing on her deck]].<br />All's well -- all's well aboard her -- she's left you far behind,<br />With a scent of old-world roses through the fog that ties you blind.

[[Maturity Is Serious Business|Her crews are babes or madmen?]] Her port is all to make? <br />[[Writer On Board|You're manned by Truth and Science]], and [[Author Tract|you steam for steaming's sake?]]<br />Well, tinker up your engines -- you know your business best --<br />She's taking tired people to the Islands of the Blest!

{{reflist}}
[[Category:Poetry]]
[[Category:Books On Trope]]
[[Category:Nineteenth Century Literature]]
[[Category:The Three Decker]]
[[Category:Literature]]