Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: Difference between revisions

Since there is no single definitive set of Things Not Allowed At Hogwarts, All The Tropes has, as a public service, selected one of these lists and leavened it with items carefully gleaned from its compatriots, and has presented the assembled wisdom here for your enjoyment. Naturally, opinions may vary as to what the best items of any of the lists actually are, so tropers should feel free to <s>poach</s> add their own favorites to the list below.

 

== The List ==

* I will not call Lucius Malfoy [[Labyrinth|"Jareth"]].

* I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Lord Voldemort.

* Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

* I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

* I shall not give Professor Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

* I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as [[The Powerpuff Girls|"Blossom," "Buttercup," and "Bubbles."]]

* I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as [[Iron Chef|"Kitchen Stadium"]].

* I will not address the Professor with a loud "Heil Umbridge!" and accompanying salute.

* Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not [[Sluggy Freelance|use guns against the Death Eaters]].

* Tricking the school house-elves into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell "Pwned!"

* "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

* I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

* Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. [[A Date with Rosie Palms|"Polishing my wand"]] in the common room is not.

* There is no Interpretive Dance course offered at Hogwarts, and I should stop signing up for it every year.

* I am not to owl copies of the [[Evil Overlord List]] to suspected Death Eaters.

* I am not [[Red Dwarf|the King of the Potato People]] and I do not have a flying carpet.

* I shall not aim an angry dragon at the Whomping Willow and take bets on which comes out the victor.

* I will not raise my wand and shout [[He-Man and the Masters of the Universe|"By the Power of Hogwarts!"]] in Transfigurations class.

* And lastly, I will not use a time turner to go into the past and seduce my father, thereby ceasing to exist, which means I could not have gone into the past and seduced my father, which means I do exist, which means I can go back and . . . oh, nevermind.

 

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