Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG: Difference between revisions

''Things Mr. Welch Is Not Allowed To Do In An RPG'' is [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin]] — a list of things Mr. Welch, poster boy for [[The Loonie]], has been banned from doing in [[Tabletop Games]]. It is ''long'' (2,050 items at last count), imaginative, full of [[Averted Trope|aversions]], and often really funny.

 

 

Read the full list here:

* [http://theglen.livejournal.com/405093.html Things Mr. Welch Can't do] in Dr. Who

* [http://theglen.livejournal.com/404339.html Things Mr. Welch Can't do] in [[Dragon Age]]

** [http://theglen.livejournal.com/263534.html Things Mr. Welch can no longer do] in 1st Ed. D&D

** [http://theglen.livejournal.com/270201.html Things Mr. Welch can no longer do] in Oriental Adventures

{{quote|1529. There is no such thing as a Thirty-Sevensexual.}}

* [[As Long as It Sounds Foreign]]:

* [[Attack Its Weak Point]]:

{{quote|

731. No matter how many called shots to the neck I make, I'm still not going to cause [[Highlander|a cool pyrotechnics display]]. }}

* [[Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny]]:

* [[Awesome McCoolname]]:

{{quote|1336. Even if we are told to pick a manly name for the game, Genocidicles is [[Testosterone Poisoning|a bit much]].

* [[Battle Cry]]:

{{quote|

74. My thief's battle cry is not "[[Dirty Coward|Run And Live]]".

75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps".

* [[Coast Guard]]

{{quote|61. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.}}

{{quote|

1901. Even if my Jedi has a Scottish accent, can't have a plaid lightsaber. }}

{{quote|

233. If I am the medtech [[Not That Kind of Doctor|it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in medicine]].

498. A firefight is not the best time to tell the party my Medtech has a fear of blood.

520. Under no circumstances is my medical droid allowed [[Not What It Looks Like|a groin-mounted rectal thermometer]].

* [[Crowd Song]]:

{{quote|940. I will not abuse the Exemplary virtue to set up highly choreographed dance routines with random crowds.}}

{{quote|374. I am not to combine the advantage Fearless and the disadvantage Curious in the same character again.}}

* [[Cutting the Knot]]: To think outside of the box, it seems he cuts his way out with a chainsaw.

{{quote|1768. My monk can't convince the bad guys to go streaking with him just so they're easy to beat up later.}}

* [[Funny Afro]]:

* [[Furry Fandom]]:

{{quote|1786. Albanians do not count as furries.

* [[The Loonie]]: If only fictional examples of this kind of player could be quite so dedicated to it... but he doesn't seem to like competition.

{{quote|

1385. Even if I couldn't attend the session when everything went to hell, it's still my fault.

1426. I am not "He who must not be named only in passing." }}

230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.

1032. Monofilament does not automatically make the world a better place.

* [[Recoil Boost]]:

{{quote|

25. The green elf [[Gauntlet (1985 video game)|does not need food badly]].

36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to [[Knights of the Dinner Table|sit on the same side of the table]].

83. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.

124. I cannot insert the words [[Shaun of the Dead|"Kill Phil, Sorry Phil"]] into any list of instructions.

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Pages needing more categories]]

[[Category:Gaming Humor]]

[[Category:Funny]]